**Inspiring Women with Betty Collins — Episode Overview: "Stress"**
In this episode of *Inspiring Women*, host Betty Collins takes on a topic that resonates with just about everyone—stress. With her characteristic insight, wit, and empathy, Betty delves into the realities of stress, especially from the perspective of women who balance caregiving, careers, family expectations, and personal ambitions.
**It's Not If, But When: The Inevitability of Stress**
Betty opens by making a clear, memorable point: stress isn’t a matter of “if,” but “when.” Everyone deals with it, whether it’s from a demanding career, family care obligations, or even the pursuit of perfection. She humorously notes how people often think a vacation can wipe stress away—only to return to the remaining 50 weeks of the year when it lurks just beneath the surface.
Her own experience as a CPA during tax season means 60-hour workweeks, piles of obligations, and the added gloom of Ohio’s winters. But she presses the point that we need strategies not just for crisis mode, but for the “calmer” times, to strengthen our resilience before those inevitable waves hit.
**The Humor in Stress**
Lightening the mood, Betty shares a few AI-generated “good humor one-liners” about stress, from yoga-induced pretzel shapes to the classic, “I have 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up in my head.” These one-liners provide a relatable laugh, acknowledging that sometimes, we exacerbate our own stress through overthinking and unrealistic expectations.
**Core Stressors for Women**
Betty outlines key stressors that tend to impact women especially hard:
1. **Caregiving:** The “sandwich” generation is often caring for both children and aging parents, sometimes even under the same roof.
2. **Guilt and Burnout:** The pressure to “do it all” can leave women feeling emotionally exhausted and guilty for any perceived shortcoming.
3. **Self-Doubt:** Despite their achievements, many women still feel undeserving or insecure, leading to unhealthy comparisons and heightened stress.
4. **Fear, Anxiety, and Perfectionism:** High standards, fear of failure, and isolation—especially for women in male-dominated fields—contribute further to the pile-up of stressors.
5. **Isolation and Limited Role Models:** Betty shares her personal story of being one of the few women in accounting in the ‘80s and ‘90s, and how the lack of mentors increased her sense of pressure.
**The Effects of Unmanaged Stress**
Unaddressed, stress can wreak havoc on all areas of life—health, focus, emotional stability, sleep, and even longevity. Betty underscores the importance of not striving for a “stress-free” life, but rather learning how to navigate the stress that inevitably comes.
**Strategies for Managing and Transforming Stress**
Betty’s advice is practical and achievable, echoing wisdom she learned from mentors like Rebecca Lee: *prepare for chaos*. You may not eliminate stress, but you can plan for it and bolster your “mental muscle.”
Key strategies she recommends include:
- **Visualize Success:** Before facing an overwhelming week, picture what you want it to look like. Cancel unnecessary meetings, mentally rehearse difficult conversations, and focus on manageable wins.
- **Positive Self Talk:** Even if it sounds like empty cheerleading, affirmations like “I can do this” can help reframe your mindset. Lean on supportive voices around you, and remember that self-pumping is a crucial part of stress preparation.
- **Break Big Tasks into Small Ones:** Betty shares how handling emails in small batches, for instance, can make the mountain feel more like a series of hills. Taking “bite-size” actions builds confidence and reduces overwhelm.
- **Remove Chaos and Set Boundaries:** Whether it’s making meetings more efficient or saying “no” to extraneous commitments, setting clear boundaries can prevent the kind of chaos that compounds stress.
- **Progress Over Perfection:** She repeats the simple but powerful mantra: “Progress is better than perfection.” Aim for forward movement, not flawlessness.
- **Audit Your Calendar:** Examine how your actual schedule aligns with your true priorities. If your calendar doesn’t reflect what matters most to you, adjust accordingly. Audit commitments regularly and graciously extricate yourself from those that don’t serve your goals or well-being.
- **Reframe Self Talk and Assumptions:** Drawing from her counseling experiences, Betty advises listeners to challenge the negative assumptions running through their minds. Ask, “Is this thought real, or am I making it up?” Often, simply identifying and questioning these assumptions can dissolve half the stress they generate.
**Self-Induced Stress: The Biggest Culprits**
Betty identifies the top forms of self-induced stress:
1. **Perfectionism:** The desire for everything to be “just right”—from a child’s birthday party to a spotless house—leads to exhaustion and prevents enjoyment of the moment.
2. **Overcommitment:** When you try to do everything for everyone, life becomes a blur of obligations. She notes that “overcommitment kills us all,” recalling stories of parents overscheduling themselves and their kids, missing the joy in the rush to fit everything in.
3. **Negative Self-Talk:** Persistently telling yourself you’re not good enough or can’t do something is paralyzing, but also something within your power to change.
**How to Overcome Perfection and Overcommitment**
To break the cycle, Betty suggests:
- **Recognize the Signs:** Catch yourself when you’re striving for perfection or saying “yes” too often.
- **Redefine Success:** Replace “I must do this perfectly” with “I’m doing my best.”
- **Set Realistic Expectations:** Accept that mistakes are part of growth.
- **Block Time for Yourself:** Put personal time on your calendar in “permanent ink,” and don’t apologize for protecting it.
- **Reflect and Adjust:** Regularly review your commitments and replace self-criticism with self-compassion and gratitude for progress.
**Transformation Through Stress**
Betty finishes with a metaphor inspired by the movie *Eat Pray Love* and the Roman Colosseum—once a vibrant center, now a ruin. Transformation, she notes, is a continual process. Stress can leave us feeling “ruined,” but ruins are also the starting point for restoration and transformation.
**Final Thoughts**
Betty encourages listeners to face stress, not run from it. While you can’t eliminate it, you can transform how you navigate it—choosing a path of progress, not perfection. In a culture where stress can feel relentless, she offers hope: with awareness, boundaries, and a culture of affirmation over criticism, women can live fuller, less stressful, and more inspired lives.
*Thank you for joining Inspiring Women with Betty Collins. Let this episode be your permission slip to drop perfectionism, embrace your limits, and above all—show yourself grace.*