**Authenticity Over Assimilation: Why Real Inclusion Demands Genuine Systems Change**
“May you never know the pain of watching loved ones vote against your right to exist fully, equally and authentically.” It’s rare for a single line to stop me cold and force a reckoning with everything I believe about inclusion, leadership, and what it means to belong in this world. Yet this quote, shared mid-conversation, ripped through the comfortable layers of theory and policy into the urgent heart of lived experience. I’m not someone who’s ever been content navigating by convention—and after sitting down with Joanne Lockwood on *The Inclusion Bites Podcast*, I’m more convinced than ever that assimilation is the slow death of authenticity, and that “DEI” as a slogan is too often a mask for deeper systemic failures we’re unwilling to name.
## Why Authenticity Matters More Than Policies: A Personal Imperative
It’s easy to talk about inclusion as a set of programmes or performance metrics. But I’ve witnessed—on the ground and at scale—how shallow rhetoric around diversity stalls at the surface, giving cover for persistent inequity and exclusion. For me, this isn’t theoretical. I’ve led teams in male-dominated industries, navigated cultures that prized fitting in above standing out, and raised children in societies where the boundaries of belonging are always moving, always contested.
Authenticity isn’t a “nice to have” in this world. It’s a survival strategy. Yet, it’s also the foundation of any culture that wants to do more than pretend at progress. The allure of assimilation—“fit in so you’ll be safe”—is the root cause of so much wasted human potential.
That’s why I was drawn to Joanne Lockwood’s work. Joanne’s reputation for disrupting norms and challenging the status quo precedes her, whether you know her as an advisor to leadership teams or through her work at SEE Change Happen. She hosts *Inclusion Bites*—a show for those unwilling to settle for surface-level dialogue on inclusion, and her ability to create a “sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change” is rare in this space. It’s no wonder more than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.
## The Politics of Belonging: Voting With Values, Not Just Interests
Our discussion opened on the shifting ground of global politics—how elections are forcing families, communities, and organisations to reconsider what they truly value. Like Joanne, I grew up in a household shaped by conservative ideals, mistrustful of government interference and fiercely independent. That legacy left its mark on my approach to challenges: hard work, self-reliance, and a belief in meritocracy.
But the world is not static, nor are its values etched in stone. The rise of polarising politics in North America and Europe—marked by open racism, xenophobia, and outright bigotry—has made it impossible to ignore the true stakes.
Joanne captured it simply: “Instead of thinking, ‘what’s in it for me?’… we have to take a look at the bigger picture, the next generation, how this is going to impact.” She described how even her “normally conservative family were really challenged with the decision on who we wanted representing us,” making a conscious choice to vote with their moral values rather than inherited party allegiances.
What struck me is how fragile progress really is. We’re tempted to believe our societies are automatically inclusive, that once rights are won, they’re permanent. The reality is more precarious. Political shifts can threaten not just economic conditions but the basic safety and right to exist of entire groups. For those of us in positions of privilege, this may feel abstract; for others, it’s an existential risk lived out every day.
As I listened to Joanne share stories about the Canadian elections and the rhetoric of leaders dubbed “Maple Trump,” I realised how similar the challenges are worldwide. There’s a deep-seated fear that “immigrants are the downfall of this country” or that “racism doesn’t exist unless we talk about racism.” These arguments are dangerous not just because they’re false, but because they set the stage for systemic exclusion that will shape generations.
## Refuge, Identity, and the Loss That Shapes Belonging
If you’ve led in multicultural, rapidly evolving environments, you know that belonging is never simple. Joanne’s story as a political refugee from China during the Tiananmen Square massacre was especially resonant. She spoke of arriving in Canada as a three-year-old, her family forced to leave everything behind—friends, language, possessions—and assimilate for survival in a vastly different country.
“In communist China, we lived on rations. Monthly the government would hand out this much cooking oil, this much rice. My grandmother prayed in her closet for thirty years in Canada because open religion would’ve meant jail back home.”
These are not just anecdotes—they’re reminders of the invisible costs of assimilation, and of the quiet resilience it takes to build a new life amidst dislocation. What’s easy to overlook is how these losses shape every aspect of your entrepreneurial, executive, or leadership journey.
Even in communities where we think we “should” belong, the reality is nuanced. Joanne explained how, despite quick assimilation and English fluency, she was never “Chinese enough” for some, nor truly part of the non-racialised Canadian majority. “I lost my language so long ago to learn English and then French… my parents wanted us to fit in, to be successful here. But growing up, I wasn’t Chinese enough for the Chinese community.”
For those like myself—often navigating different, sometimes competing cultures—this rings true. True belonging demands more than shallow diversity targets. It means challenging the unconscious rules about who counts, whose perspectives matter, and how culture is defined.
## The System Is Not Broken—It Was Built That Way
If you want to lead scaleable, lasting transformation, there’s an uncomfortable truth to confront: The systems we operate in are not broken by accident. They were constructed for the benefit of a narrow population, and they persist because we still benefit from their design.
Joanne and I exchanged stories about corporate environments—the rituals of inclusion, the checks for boxes ticked, the rise of DEI committees and resource groups. I voiced a hard-earned realisation: “I found that I didn’t know I was experiencing systemic barriers or that I was different until someone told me I was different. By virtue of assimilating at a very young age… I never wanted to stand out.”
This is the paradox of the diversity industry: Programmes proliferate, and yet they often serve to contain rather than liberate real change. Inclusion is not simply a matter of hosting International Women’s Day panels or Black History Month events. As Joanne bluntly insisted, “We don’t need more DEI statements or committees. We need courage to drive change and challenge some of these really hurtful, exclusive behaviours that have remained a perpetual issue in society today.”
I couldn’t agree more. The problem is not “just” racism, sexism, or homophobia—it’s the persistent lack of respect, kindness, and human compassion built into our systems. Authenticity means doing the hard work of rebuilding those systems so they serve everyone—not just those the legacy mould was designed to benefit.
When I reflect on my journey as a DEI consultant and executive, it was never about pursuing a title or committee slot. It was about calling out the ways business as usual reinforced exclusion. Transformative change requires integrating equity into core operations, not delegating it to a marginalised few or an HR silo. I’ve seen firsthand how innovation stalls when organisations cling to outdated models instead of developing cultures where everyone thrives.
## Equity Is Not a Zero-Sum Game—But Fear Makes It One
A consistent theme throughout our dialogue was how deeply entrenched human fears sustain the zero-sum mentality. When progress feels threatening, those with historic privilege experience discomfort as marginalisation. That discomfort morphs into opposition—“DEI is taking away my maleness, my whiteness, my power base”—and fuels polarisation.
Joanne challenged me: “Nobody gets up in the morning thinking, ‘I’m going to be a really nasty, horrible person today and cause pain’… they’re just doing what they believe in their own echo chamber, their own lived experience. That’s the hard bit—encouraging people to see a greater perspective without telling them they’re wrong.”
Here’s what I’ve learned after years at the negotiating table: You cannot coerce empathy, but you can foster curiosity—if you’re willing to meet people where they are. “If you are inherently curious… seeing the world around you, that it isn’t the same as ten years ago,” you create the conditions for genuine collaboration and partnership.
The challenge is not only to “convert the unconvertible,” but to reframe the narrative. Historical overcorrection creates new fears: that inclusion for some means exclusion for others. Joanne cited Nelson Mandela—who famously said, “I am not for the oppression of black people, but I am also not here for the oppression of white people.” The aim was not swapping one hierarchy for another, but levelling the playing field for all, and giving explicit guarantees that progress would not come at someone else’s expense.
In industries where I’ve led, such as finance, this tension manifests in gender equity campaigns. Too often, the message becomes “women make better advisors than men,” which only triggers insecurity among the established majority. What would happen if instead we simply made the business case—“How can we be confident we have the best talent if we only have 15% of the available pool?”—and led with a commitment to sustainable continuity, not scarcity-based fear?
## Rebuilding Systems: Beyond Identity Politics and Echo Chambers
True leadership, as Joanne puts it, is the willingness to “sit in uncomfortable discussions with curiosity.” The angry voices in our political discourse aren’t always rooted in hate; sometimes, they care deeply about preserving something they cherish, even if that care is misguided or misinformed.
We agreed that our affinity groups—created for survival and solidarity—can overcompensate and inadvertently fuel division. Real change comes when we strip away the labels and focus on human experience. “Before we put a diversity lens on anything, let’s remove it and ground ourselves in respect, kindness, human compassion. Start there.”
That’s not to downplay the importance of identity, nor ignore the specific ways exclusion operates for racialised, disabled, LGBTQ+ or other communities. Rather, it’s to recognise the limitations of purely symbolic reform. I’ve met well-meaning executives who, in their own words, “don’t spend a lot of time worrying about racism or ableism because that’s not their crusade.” That’s not malice, but misdirection—a lack of conducive systems for seeing beyond immediate concerns.
Joanne’s take was stark: “Equity is championed by those who lack it.” The problem we face is not primarily a deficit of allies, but a scarcity of warriors—people willing to challenge the status quo, risk comfort, and amplify the voices suppressed by legacy structures. “You can be an ally, know something is wrong, and do absolutely nothing about it. What we need more of? Warriors.”
This, for me, is where execution intersects with empathy. To scale real impact, you have to raise awareness—not just of your own experiences, but of the deepest blind spots in your organisation, your circle, your community.
## The Fragility of Progress: What Will the Next Generation Inherit?
It’s easy to believe progress is inevitable. It’s not. Joanne’s family story—first generation immigrants, conservatives by necessity, now voting differently because their values have shifted—captures the mental recalibration required for real inclusion.
The quote that haunted me remains a rallying cry: “May you never know the fear of having your human rights challenged every time there’s an election.” For those who have always felt safe, such anxiety appears distant. For those at the margins, it’s the daily calculus. If leaders, parents, and communities fail to act with courage, the next generation will inherit a world more divided, less safe, and fundamentally less free.
Joanne put it clearly: “Progress, as we know, is incredibly fragile.” This isn’t theory—it’s happening right now, as parties rise to power spewing the same hateful rhetoric that puts millions at risk.
The lesson for anyone aspiring to drive systemic change is this: If you’re focused solely on your pocket, your wealth, your rights, you’re missing the broader movement of history. Authentic leadership means voting, acting, and investing not just for yourself but for the inclusive, sustainable future your children deserve.
## Punching Through: Where Do We Go From Here?
Assimilation is not safety—it’s surrender. Authenticity is hard-won, and true inclusion demands reconstruction from the ground up. If you care about outcomes—performance, innovation, retention, legacy—then you’ll know that half-measures and slogans will not suffice.
The systems we move through every day were designed for a world that no longer exists. If you’re serious about change, you’ll commit to facing the discomfort, shedding the familiar comfort of the echo chamber, and finding genuine partnerships that bridge division. Kindness and curiosity are powerful, but they aren’t enough without structural action.
So I return to where I began: If you’ve ever felt the pain and fear of being denied the right to exist authentically, you know why this matters. If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky—and use that luck to build environments where others can thrive, not just survive.
I’d love to hear what this provokes for you: challenge, critique, expansion. Let’s keep the conversation going. The cost of inaction is too high; the rewards of real inclusion are measured not just in business metrics, but in the lives and futures we shape together.
Let’s refuse assimilation and create cultures where authenticity is the core value.