Primary Category: Mental Health
Secondary Category: Wellbeing

1. Navigating Modern Masculinity: Rediscovering Community, Strength, and Belonging in Men’s Lives

2. Beyond Survival: Exploring Emotional Resilience and Brotherhood in Today’s Men

3. From Bushcraft to Brotherhood: Reclaiming Men’s Mental Fitness and Outdoor Connections

4. Tackling the Man Code: Men’s Wellbeing Beyond Stereotypes and Performative Conversations

5. Building Real Bonds: Outdoor Adventures and Honest Talk for Male Wellbeing

6. Fire, Friendship, and Finding Meaning: Men Beyond Survival in a Digital World

7. Modern Male Connections: Challenging Loneliness and Embracing the Power of Community

8. Rethinking Male Wellbeing: Nature, Inclusion, and the Art of Showing Up

9. Redefining Strength: What Men Need to Thrive in Today’s Changing Society

10. Beyond the Campfire: Rebuilding Men’s Community and Challenging Outdated Masculine Norms

Tom Gold explores the complexities of modern masculinity, the importance of outdoor connection, and the subtle yet profound ways men can support each other and find belonging beyond performative expectations.

Men’s Mental Health, Male Identity, Bushcraft Therapy, Outdoor Wellbeing, Intergenerational Learning, Emotional Resilience, Inclusive Conversations, Male Vulnerability, Community Support, Societal Change

In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood explores the complex landscape of men’s wellbeing and identity with Tom Gold, a bushcraft instructor and life coach. The conversation moves beyond the stereotypes often associated with men—challenging the “man code” and scrutinising the societal expectation that men should always be outwardly strong while keeping inner struggles hidden. Joanne and Tom discuss how nature, risk-taking, and community can catalyse real growth, and why providing spaces where men can simply “be” without the pressure to share or fix is vital in today’s world.

Tom Gold has spent a lifetime immersed in the outdoors, drawing early inspiration from his adventurous childhood with his father. Now based in rural Scotland, Tom works with men of all backgrounds, especially those in recovery, helping them reconnect with their innate resilience through practical wilderness skills. His approach goes beyond performative conversation, focusing on creating experiences where men can gain confidence, purpose, and—crucially—belonging, whether through splitting wood, making campfires, or simply being present around the flames. His work highlights the importance of practical empowerment and community for men who may feel sidelined by modern conversations around inclusion.

Joanne and Tom candidly address the shifting dynamics of masculinity, the loneliness some men experience, and the risk that mainstream diversity and inclusion work can leave certain groups behind. The episode delves into how the lack of meaningful male community, combined with performative dialogues about emotion, can drive young men towards unhealthy influences or negative group identities. Joanne raises the reality that men don’t always want to talk but still crave a sense of group solidarity and support, to which Tom’s bushcraft-based approach offers a refreshingly inclusive solution.

A key takeaway from this episode is that fostering belonging among men requires understanding, not stereotypes. By creating honest, practical, and inclusive spaces—rather than pushing only for open sharing—everyone can contribute to a more supportive and integrated society. Tune in to gain new perspectives on vulnerability, identity, and how real inclusion means ensuring no one feels left out of the conversation.

🎙️ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: 𝗠𝗲𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗮𝗹 🎙️

💬 What if “thriving” looked less like talking, more like doing—and a little more muddy round the edges? Explore men’s mental fitness and belonging in just 60 seconds! 💬

This week, I’m delighted to welcome Tom Gold, Bushcraft instructor and life coach with a knack for guiding men to real mental strength… often by the campfire, not the therapist’s couch! Together, we dive into:

• 🔑 The value of “resetting” in nature—why one night under the stars can do more for wellbeing than a dozen webinars

• 🔑 Challenging the myth that men need fixing or force-fed vulnerability—sometimes, chopping wood says more than words ever could

• 🔑 Building authentic community for men—practical ways to foster trust, belonging, and growth without the need for group hugs or gongs

Why Listen?
“Inclusion is about understanding, and this episode is packed with insights to help you create more #PositivePeopleExperiences.”

About the Podcast
As the host of Inclusion Bites, I release episodes every week to inspire, educate, and challenge how we think about true belonging. This 1-minute clip is your invitation to a wider world—one that acknowledges every type of experience.

What’s your take? 💭 Ever faced the “Man Code” in your workplace or life? Drop your thoughts and reflections below 👇—or tell us your campfire moment!

🎧 Listen to the full episode: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen

#PositivePeopleExperiences #SmileEngageEducate #InclusionBites #Podcasts #Shorts
#MensMentalHealth #Authenticity #WellbeingAtWork #CommunityMatters #BreakingBarriers

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, follow, and share with those who need a fresh take on inclusion!

Focus Keyword: Positive People Experiences

Men Thriving Outdoors: Creating Positive People Experiences for Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast

Tags: positive people experiences, culture change, inclusion, men’s wellbeing, mental fitness, bushcraft, outdoor wellbeing, men’s mental health, belonging, social change, nature reset, emotional support, fatherhood, community building, diversity and inclusion, allyship, psychological safety, personal growth, resilience, masculinity, self-discovery, male vulnerability, friendships, SEE Change Happen, Inclusion Bites,

Killer Quote:
"You can achieve greatness by projecting strength, but imagine how much more is possible if you find peace at the same time." – Tom Gold

Hashtags:
#PositivePeopleExperiences, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #CultureChange, #Inclusion, #MensWellbeing, #MentalFitness, #Bushcraft, #Outdoors, #Belonging, #DiversityAndInclusion, #MenMatter, #Wellbeing, #Empathy, #NatureReset, #ModernMasculinity, #FathersAndSons, #CommunityBuilding, #SelfDiscovery, #StrengthAndPeace, #MentalHealthAwareness

Description:
Curious about how men can move beyond mere survival and start thriving? In this episode of Inclusion Bites Podcast, I sit down with Tom Gold to explore the transformative link between nature, mental fitness and true belonging. We discuss why “Positive People Experiences” are fundamental for achieving real culture change, and how empowering men through outdoor adventures can help foster trust, confidence and emotional growth. Listen to learn how small gestures, genuine community, and vulnerability can drive not only personal wellbeing but also create ripple effects for inclusive workplaces and wider society.

Why tune in? Find practical insights and untold stories that will inspire and empower you to champion positive people experiences and drive meaningful culture change in your own circles.
Ready to create lasting impact? Watch now, join the conversation and be part of the movement!

Outro:
Thank you, the listener, for tuning in to the Inclusion Bites Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and follow the channel for more insights on creating culture change and positive people experiences. For more information, visit the SEE Change Happen website at https://seechangehappen.co.uk.
Listen to the full episode here: "The Inclusion Bites Podcast"

Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood

Introduction

Welcome to this episode of Inclusion Bites, hosted by Joanne Lockwood, where we ignite bold conversations and challenge the status quo on inclusion and belonging. Today, in "Men Beyond Survival," Tom Gold—a bushcraft instructor and life coach—joins Joanne Lockwood to explore the journey of men’s mental fitness, connection, and identity in the modern world.

Together, they reflect on the formative power of outdoor experiences, rites of passage, and the value of real community for men. With stories of adventure, fatherhood, and recovery, the episode examines how men truly build resilience—not just through performative talking, but by showing up, listening, and sharing spaces where vulnerability and silence are equally valued.

They dissect the tension between societal expectations and authentic male experience, asking: Are we doing enough to foster environments where men can thrive, not just survive? How do shifting cultural narratives, emerging ideologies, and a changing workplace impact men’s sense of belonging? And crucially, who is ensuring that men are included in the conversation on inclusion itself?

Get ready for a thoughtful, layered discussion on masculinity, community, and what it means to boldly redefine survival as something more—together, around the campfire.

inclusion, belonging, societal transformation, bushcraft, life coaching, mental fitness, outdoor activities, performative wellbeing, fatherhood, childhood adventures, risk-taking, trust, childhood memories, digital age, health and safety, male friendships, drugs and alcohol recovery, campfire conversations, emotional expression, man code, masculinity, DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion), men’s mental health, community, vulnerability, male role models, right-wing ideologies, Andrew Tate, incel movement, social disconnection, male-only spaces

About The Episode:
In this compelling discussion, Tom Gold brings his unique perspective as a bushcraft instructor and life coach to explore how nature and authentic connection shape men’s mental resilience. Together, we examine rituals of belonging, the complexities of modern masculinity, and the hidden costs of performative wellbeing. This episode unearths practical approaches for fostering genuine community and self-awareness far beyond clichés or stereotypes.

Today, we'll cover:

• The formative role of outdoor adventure in building trust, self-reliance, and intergenerational bonds.

• Practical strategies for creating meaningful male connection—often through activity and shared experience rather than forced conversation.

• The unintended consequences of trivialising trauma and challenge, especially through popular culture and digital environments.

• Ways to support men who are introspective or reluctant to talk, without pressuring them into inauthentic vulnerability.

• The impact of diminished male friendship networks on overall wellbeing and the importance of community-building for men at risk of isolation.

• Recognising and challenging reductive media tropes that limit the emotional and practical contributions of men, both in families and wider society.

• Navigating contemporary social narratives—such as rising disenfranchisement, identity, and belonging—while cultivating space for all men to thrive.

Sequence of Topics Covered

1. Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

• Setting the context for the episode 00:00:07

• Joanne Lockwood introduces Tom Gold and his background as a bushcraft instructor and life coach 00:01:14

• Tom Gold outlines his superpower: resetting in nature 00:01:36

2. Upbringing and Early Outdoor Experiences

• Influence of Tom Gold’s father on his skills and interests 00:03:09

• Adventurous activities during childhood (bonfires, dens, risky adventures) 00:03:46

• Creating the UDF Club: “Utterly Devoid of Fear” summer groups 00:04:22

• Reflections on trust, risk, and the blueprint for parenting 00:05:21

3. The Value of Outdoor Adventure for Children

• Are modern children shielded from risk? 00:06:02

• The balance between safety and memorable, formative experiences 00:06:24

• Empowering parents and rebuilding confidence through outdoor skills 00:06:49

• Case study: A parent in recovery reconnecting with his son through outdoor cooking 00:07:37

4. The Lessons and Risks of Adventuring

• Memories of children’s outdoor escapades and managing parental fears 00:09:19

• Teaching judgement, boundaries, and responsibility through risky activities 00:10:08

• Importance of reflective learning from close calls and mistakes 00:11:09

• Disapproval of violence-glorifying media (e.g., Call of Duty) due to trivialisation of real sacrifice 00:11:43

5. Societal Context: Knife Crime and Youth Violence

• Reflections on Scotland’s history of knife crime 00:13:58

• The impact and bravery of outreach organisations countering violence 00:14:35

6. The Transition from Parenting Children to Parenting Adults

• Emotional complexities of seeing children become independent 00:15:22

• Creating a new home and forming family rituals post-divorce 00:16:10

• Coping with change as children move out and reflections on the parenting journey 00:17:14

• Challenges parenting through teenage turmoil; never “quitting” on your children 00:18:54

7. Performative Wellbeing and Men’s Mental Health Conversations

• The limitations of encouraging all men to “talk more” 00:20:08

• Diversity in men’s communication styles within support groups—value of silence, physical activity, and presence 00:20:24

• Fostering comfortable, non-judgemental spaces for vulnerability 00:21:10

• Pressure to talk vs. permission to be introspective 00:21:48

• Harmful “Man Code” stereotypes and their pervasiveness in culture 00:22:13

• The impact of suppressing emotion on historical male “heroes” and contemporary men 00:25:00

8. The Role of Nature-Based Experiences in Men’s Wellbeing

• Using outdoor activities and campfires as containers for meaningful conversation 00:25:14

• The primal context of fire as an ancient meeting format and its social function 00:25:56

• The hypnotic, community-building effect of fire 00:27:02

• Anecdotes of playful experimentation around campfires, linking past and present 00:28:50

9. Bushcraft Skills as Empowerment Tools

• Teaching practical skills as routes to personal agency and positive diversion 00:32:08

• The rewarding experience of contributing in a group context 00:33:27

• Positive impact on recovery journeys, fostering mutual care and support 00:32:50

10. Fixing vs. Listening: Masculine Approaches to Support

• The tendency for advice over active listening among men 00:34:01

• The value of simply “showing up” in silence and solidarity 00:35:14

• Personal testimony: Tom Gold receiving non-verbal support from his own father 00:37:43

• The significance of non-verbal gestures in male emotional exchanges 00:39:33

• Example: Wartime veterans’ emotional communication through physical contact 00:39:33

11. Gender Differences in Group Communication and Friendship

• Joanne Lockwood contrasts male and female group communication post-transition 00:41:43

• The importance of single-gender spaces for authentic connection 00:42:44

• Male emotional reserve vs. female openness, and shifts in mixed company 00:43:06

• Decline in close male friendships compared to previous generations 00:43:41

• Overcoming reluctance to group activities perceived as “odd” or emotionally exposing 00:44:06

12. Disenfranchisement, Flags, and Masculine Identity

• The politicisation and division triggered by national symbols (e.g., St George's Cross) 00:45:39

• Contrasts in flag symbolism between England and Scotland 00:46:12

• Experiences of unity during the 2012 Olympics compared to current divisions 00:47:52

• Questions around white male identity and a perceived lack of advocacy 00:48:36

• The struggle for inclusion and visibility in D&I discussions 00:49:37

• Expectations on white men to be allies and the difficulties if they are struggling themselves 00:50:16

• Anticipation of ideological clashes as new generations enter the workplace 00:51:19

13. The Appeal of Right-Wing/Alpha Male Influencers

• Analysis of why figures like Andrew Tate, Tommy Robinson, and others resonate with disenfranchised men 00:52:16

• Importance of understanding the desire for agency, autonomy, and belonging 00:53:02

• The risk of leaving men behind when D&I does not actively incorporate their perspectives 00:54:49

• The need for genuine engagement rather than alienation

14. Breaking the Man Code and Fostering Emotional Resilience

• The “Man Code” as both a survival strategy and an impediment to wellbeing 00:55:49

• The potential for achievement if men can find strength and peace simultaneously 00:56:09

• Description of men’s retreat: community, nature, and reclaiming simple joys 00:56:23

15. Final Reflections and Connection

• Tom Gold on how to connect/follow his work 00:58:09

• The physical and psychological benefits of spending time outdoors 00:58:47

• Joanne Lockwood encourages listeners to share, subscribe, and participate in future discussions 00:59:18

Hook 1

Ever wondered why some men look strong on the outside… but silently fall apart inside?
What if everything you’ve learned about men’s wellbeing is missing the one thing that actually works?
Get ready to de-code the survival myth—and uncover what truly helps men go from just existing to genuinely thriving.

Hook 2

Feel like the world’s getting noisier—yet real conversations about men’s mental fitness barely make a whisper?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: “Talking” isn’t always the answer. So what IS?
Peek behind the curtain of resilience—discover the rituals that build men up for real.

Hook 3

Why are so many men still playing by rules written centuries ago?
Project strength. Hide the chaos. “I’m fine.” Sound familiar?
Let’s challenge the old script and explore how modern men really grow—outside boardrooms, and definitely beyond hashtags.

Hook 4

Think vulnerability means weakness? Think again.
There’s power in silence. Power in showing up (even when there are no words).
Find out why true support is sometimes a knowing glance—not a grand gesture—and how this could transform the men in your circle.

Hook 5

Ever noticed how the loudest “wellbeing” advice misses what men actually need?
Forget forced heart-to-hearts. What if flourishing starts with sparks, woodsmoke, and a community that understands when to just be?
Step into a world where connection goes far deeper than surface talk—and real change happens far from the spotlight.

Welcome to Inclusion Bites, where we spark conversations that drive real change. Today, I explored with Tom Gold how men can move beyond mere survival and truly thrive—by embracing the outdoors, building community, and redefining mental fitness. We discussed the unspoken challenges men face, from performative expectations to modern isolation, and how practical connection—not just talking—can ignite real resilience. If you’re passionate about building inclusive cultures and want to challenge the status quo, this episode is for you. Join the movement—let’s inspire action, nurture belonging, and shape a better future together.

Inclusion Bites: Episode 205 — Men Beyond Survival

Dear Inclusion Bites Community,

Welcome to another transformative edition of the Inclusion Bites newsletter, where we challenge conventions and explore belonging from every angle. This week, Joanne Lockwood welcomes Tom Gold, bushcraft instructor and life coach, for a compelling exploration of masculinity, community, and mental fitness "beyond survival".

Episode Highlights: Men Beyond Survival

• Heritage and Adventure: Tom Gold reflects on a childhood shaped by adventure and practical skills, handed down from his father. From navigating by the stars to lighting fires with primitive method, his upbringing instilled trust, resilience, and an appetite for risk—qualities he now fosters in others 06:24.

• Building Real Community Outdoors: The session unpacks why meaningful male connection often happens in spaces where words are secondary. Around the campfire, even the silent contribute, and active listening and simply showing up become vital acts of support 20:08.

• Challenging ‘Performative’ Wellbeing: Are we putting undue pressure on men to speak, even when some benefit more from action and shared experience? Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood discuss how societal expectations and DEI messaging may inadvertently reinforce unhelpful stereotypes, instead of embracing truly diverse forms of emotional coherence 22:13.

• Societal Identity and Belonging: The conversation turns to the disenfranchisement felt by many men today—in politics, at work, and culturally. Why are figures like Andrew Tate resonating, and what does this reveal about the vacuum in mainstream conversations about masculinity and inclusion 52:16?

• Bushcraft as Recovery and Empowerment: For those wrestling with addiction or simply the pressures of life, the ability to create warmth, shelter, and belonging within nature becomes a path to agency—a reminder that everyone deserves and can find a place to reset and thrive 33:27.

Key Questions We’re Asking

• How can we hold space for men who process their challenges through action rather than conversation?

• What are the dangers of messaging that paints male emotionality through a single, stereotyped lens?

• How do we strengthen community and connection without demanding ‘performative’ vulnerability?

Take Action

• Reflect: When was the last time you simply showed up for someone, without trying to fix or advise?

• Share: Forward this episode to a colleague or close friend who values honest, nuanced conversations.

• Engage: Do you see evidence of male disenfranchisement in your circles? How can your workplace or community respond more inclusively?

• Connect: Got a story, challenge, or insight? Email jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk — your voice matters here.

Listen Now

Catch the latest episode, "Men Beyond Survival", and join the Inclusion Bites movement today:
Listen to the episode

Let’s continue to build communities where everyone—regardless of background or mode of expression—belongs and thrives.

Stay bold, stay inclusive,

Joanne Lockwood
Host, Inclusion Bites Podcast
SEE Change Happen

🧵 Men Beyond Survival: Why Real Connection Starts Outdoors

1️⃣ Ever wondered what REALLY changes when men step out from behind screens & into nature? Tom Gold thinks it’s transformative—& not just for mental fitness.🔥

2️⃣ Tom Gold, bushcraft instructor & life coach, grew up learning resilience the wild way: abseiling quarries, paddling leaking dinghies, lighting fires with scavenged rope. It shaped his blueprint for fatherhood & life.

3️⃣ In today’s world, are we losing that spark? Are we sacrificing growth & self-definition at the altar of health-and-safety & digital comfort? Tom Gold argues: even one marshmallow-toasting, fire-starting adventure makes a lifelong impact. 07:14

4️⃣ Not every man wants to “open up” in the traditional sense. Sometimes, real support is silent: a log-splitting, kettle-boiling, fire-gazing moment. Is it less valid than a group therapy chat? Not at all. Tom Gold shows us the power of simply showing up. 20:08

5️⃣ Is “men need to talk more” just performative? In boardrooms, DEI initiatives, & even Peppa Pig episodes, comedy or stereotype often trumps accuracy. Isn't it time we challenged that "man code" & recognised different forms of strength? 22:13

6️⃣ Disconnection breeds resentment. When society spotlights everyone but the white, middle-aged man, are we surprised some seek belonging in all the wrong places? Podcast guests ask: Who’s actually creating community & showing these men they matter? 49:37

7️⃣ Looking for a way in? Bushcraft is more than flint & steel. It's access to a space where active listening & physical action go hand in hand. It's a primal solution to a modern problem: solitude with inclusion, vulnerability without oversharing.

8️⃣ Tom Gold’s advice: Want inclusion that works? Build authentic spaces—fireside, not fluorescent-lit. Give men purpose, community, and a reason to show up as themselves, not a trope.

9️⃣ Ready to ignite the spark? Listen to episode 205 of Inclusion Bites with Joanne Lockwood and Tom Gold: Inclusion Bites Podcast. Got a story or want to be a guest? Drop Joanne Lockwood a line at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

🔥 Let’s disrupt the norms and redefine belonging—one campfire at a time.

#InclusionBites #MentalFitness #Bushcraft #MenAndMentalHealth #DEI #Belonging #RealTalk

Venturing Beyond Survival: My Conversation on the Inclusion Bites Podcast

Recently, I had the privilege of joining the Inclusion Bites Podcast, diving into profound discussions around men, mental fitness, and belonging. Sitting in the heart of Scotland’s natural splendour, my conversation explored how nature forms the perfect backdrop for emotional reset and authentic connection.

Exploring the Value of Adventure

As a bushcraft instructor and life coach, the outdoors is both my sanctuary and my classroom. My early experiences—abseiling disused quarries, navigating canal tunnels, and learning to trust the guidance and presence of my father—shaped my philosophy. We considered whether today’s children are deprived of these formative adventures, cocooned indoors and disconnected from risks that teach adaptability and judgement. I was able to share how simple, memorable weekends outdoors can have lifelong impact, particularly for those facing profound challenges such as addiction recovery or estrangement.

Community Without Expectation

A central theme of our discussion was the nature of men’s groups and what makes them work. In my sessions, not everyone feels compelled to open up immediately; some prefer the quiet solace of chopping wood or tending the fire. Presence, rather than words, becomes the currency of support. Sometimes, all that is required is the knowing silence—a hand on the shoulder, a nod—small gestures laden with understanding and solidarity. We reflected on the so-called 'man code', the trope of outward strength masking an unspoken clamour within, and questioned its true cost to men’s wellbeing and potential.

The Challenge of Modern Masculinity

A pressing topic was the tension men now face in a society where their roles are shifting but support mechanisms lag behind. White men, in particular, often feel sidelined by diversity and inclusion initiatives which, although necessary and vital for many, can inadvertently overlook those who don’t easily identify with any underrepresented group. This vacuum is often filled by figures and movements—sometimes with questionable values—offering a sense of belonging and resonance. The episode explored how we might bridge these divides, re-engage those left behind, and prevent alienation giving way to anger or extremism.

The Power of Simplicity

The comfort and creativity unlocked by nature is transformative. Whether around a campfire contemplating the flicker of flames or conquering a challenging climb, these moments foster reflection and build genuine community. For men, especially, it’s often not about structured conversation but shared experience, space to participate (or not) without expectation or judgement.

Inviting Further Conversation

Being part of the Inclusion Bites Podcast was a rare opportunity to champion a nuanced view of men’s wellbeing—beyond ‘performative’ solutions and clichés. It’s a conversation I hope continues to broaden and include all voices in the diversity and inclusion landscape. If you’re interested in how bushcraft and the outdoors can empower, reset, and unite, or want to explore how men can thrive, not just survive, I welcome you to connect with me.

Let’s continue building spaces—literal and metaphorical—where belonging means being seen and supported, whether in silence or in story.

Pain Points and Challenges Highlighted

1. Disconnection from Nature and Risk Aversion

   • Modern lifestyles keep families and especially children indoors, leading to fewer opportunities for outdoor adventure, practical skill-building, and risk-management experiences (06:02, 07:12).

2. Performative Wellbeing and Pressured Conversations

   • Men are routinely urged to open up about mental health, but many feel discomfort or resistance toward performative vulnerability and structured group sharing (19:26, 20:08, 21:48).

3. Trivialisation of Struggles and Loneliness

   • The stereotype of the emotionally unavailable man persists, trivialising genuine distress and encouraging damaging self-silence (22:02, 23:01).

4. The “Man Code” and Outward Strength

   • Masculine culture often prizes stoicism: project strength, suppress emotion, and deal alone, despite considerable personal difficulty (23:01, 24:43).

5. Societal and Family Role Shifts

   • As children mature and move away, men grapple with the loss of traditional roles and purpose, compounded by worries about their children’s well-being (17:00, 17:45).

6. Unhelpful Solutions and “Fixing” Culture

   • There is frustration when support is offered as unsolicited advice, rather than empathetic listening (34:01, 34:24, 35:39).

7. Diminishing Social Connections

   • Modern men report dramatically fewer close friendships, leading to isolation and weakened communal bonds (43:41, 43:56).

8. Masculinity, Identity, and Exclusion from DEI Dialogue

   • DEI spaces often feel alien or irrelevant to white men, fuelling disengagement and a sense of not belonging (48:50, 49:37).

9. Allure of Extremist or Contrarian Role Models

   • Disenfranchised young men, lacking a sense of voice, gravitate towards figures like Andrew Tate, who offer black-and-white validation, belonging, and purpose (52:16, 53:02).

Addressing the Challenges: A Problem-Agitate-Solution Approach

1. Problem: Men Lack Meaningful Outlets for Connection & Emotional Exploration

• Agitate: Without trusted opportunities for reflection, men risk falling back on the “Man Code”: isolation, bottled stress, and a reluctance to seek help. The performative push to “just talk” can alienate, leading to a surface-level engagement or withdrawal (21:48).

• Solution:

  • Spaces with Purpose: Create environments with gentle, optional pathways to communicate (e.g., outdoor retreats, activity-centric groups). Allow men to contribute physically and be present before or without talking (20:08, 25:00).

  • Active Listening Culture: Shift from advice-giving to simply showing up––literally sitting in silence together can be a profound act of support (37:43).

  • Normalise Non-Disclosure: Emphasise that being in the circle, even without speaking, is a first and valid step.

2. Problem: Dwindling Social Networks and Male Loneliness

• Agitate: The erosion of male community bonds intensifies vulnerability to isolation, poor mental health, and radical influences that capitalise on neglected grievances (43:41, 52:16).

• Solution:

  • Practical Communal Tasks: Encourage structured, “side by side” activities (e.g., fire-building, woodland walks, group meals) that foster connection without direct emotional confrontation (25:36).

  • Revive ‘Adventure’ Rites: Support safe, small-scale risk and skill-based challenges—crucial for meaning and camaraderie.

  • Post-Activity Reflection: Lightly facilitate post-task discussions where sharing is by invitation, not expectation.

3. Problem: Identity Crisis and DEI Alienation

• Agitate: Men, particularly those not in minority groups, often feel DEI is “not for them.” Lacking a sense of positive identity or communal pride, they may instead adopt oppositional or exclusionary groupings (48:50, 49:37).

• Solution:

  • Inclusive Messaging: Explicitly communicate that inclusion means everyone—and back this up by seeking and valuing concerns specific to men.

  • Male-Focused Forums: Foster single-gender groups with ground rules tailored to men’s communication preferences (practicality, shared experience, minimal prescriptiveness).

  • Positive Role Models: Offer counter-narratives to extreme influencers—showing the validity of purpose, community, and vulnerability (on their terms).

4. Problem: Reluctance to Express Vulnerability

• Agitate: Societal scripts still valorise the stiff upper lip; old masculine archetypes remain unchallenged, complicating any invitation to share or connect (24:43, 23:37).

• Solution:

  • Redefine Strength: Emphasise that both resilience and peace are legitimate aims—one can be capable and emotionally open.

  • Introduce Storytelling: Through informal storytelling, men can narrate how risk, loss, struggle, and triumph shape them (often easiest when not the focal point in a circle).

  • Model New Norms: Leaders and facilitators should embody non-judgemental presence, demonstrating that talking (or not talking) is equally respected.

Engagement Questions (To Spark Reflection and Action)

• When did you last feel truly seen and supported—without a word exchanged?

• How might you offer, or ask for, presence rather than solutions with the men in your life?

• In what ways could your own organisation make inclusion explicitly relevant, not just to the “marginalised” but to every person present?

• Who are the positive role models for you, and how might your story counterbalance media-dominant blueprints of masculinity?

For deeper exploration and practical stories, subscribe to Inclusion Bites via the Inclusion Bites Podcast or connect directly with the community. Every voice, every moment of being present—even in silence—contributes to a more inclusive culture.

FAQs Inspired by Episode “Men Beyond Survival”

1. Does living in the countryside shape your approach to bushcraft and life coaching, or is it the other way around?

Joanne Lockwood asked Tom Gold whether his rural location influenced his work or vice versa. Tom Gold offered a reflective answer about influence from his father, early adventures, and how those formative experiences underpin his values today, highlighting the interplay between place, upbringing, and personal calling (03:01).

2. Are children today missing out on risk, adventure, and essential life skills by living behind screens?

Joanne Lockwood questioned whether modern childhood lacks outdoor experiences and healthy risk-taking. Tom Gold provided nuanced commentary, advocating for measured adventure and sharing powerful examples of outdoor activities building long-term memories and resilience, even among families in recovery or adversity (06:02).

3. How should parents balance safety with allowing children to explore and test their own limits?

After recounting stories of his sons’ risk-taking, Tom Gold reflected on the importance of letting young people encounter manageable danger and fear to develop better judgement and self-trust, rather than over-cocooning them (09:19).

4. Are all men comfortable with “opening up” in wellbeing spaces, and how should support be offered to those who are more introverted?

The interview addressed the societal message urging men to “talk more.” Tom Gold challenged the universality of this advice, describing alternative forms of community—such as quiet participation in outdoor men’s groups—and the importance of not pressuring everyone to share verbally until ready, affirming the value of simply being present (20:08).

5. Why do some men react negatively to performative wellbeing initiatives or “forced” conversations?

Joanne Lockwood and Tom Gold explored the notion of “performative” wellbeing and how not all men identify with or benefit from it. Tom Gold reflected that sometimes practical activity and silent solidarity are preferred over structured talking sessions for genuine connection and healing (20:08).

6. In male friendship groups, why is there often a lack of deep emotional sharing compared to female groups?

Drawing from both lived and observed experience, the podcast examined the different conversational cultures, with Joanne Lockwood describing the transactional nature of some male groups and Tom Gold defending subtle, non-verbal means of mutual support, such as presence and small gestures (41:43).

7. What risks are there in overlooking or alienating men in Diversity, Equity & Inclusion initiatives?

The conversation tackled male disenfranchisement and the perceived lack of belonging or advocacy for white men within DEI. Tom Gold explained that contemporary narratives sometimes presume “the white man is fine,” while many experience stress, isolation, or feel excluded from spaces where everyone else appears to have representation (49:00).

8. Why are certain disenfranchised men attracted to figures like Andrew Tate or far-right movements?

Responding to Joanne Lockwood's prompt, Tom Gold attributed the allure to feelings of not belonging elsewhere, seeking voice, or resonating with promised freedoms and simplified blueprints for strength, autonomy or success that mainstream communities or workplaces may appear to deny (52:16).

9. What is the value of “just showing up” instead of offering solutions when supporting friends or family in crisis?

Drawing on personal stories, Tom Gold emphasised that advice is often unhelpful when someone is struggling; a compassionate presence and silent solidarity can be significantly more supportive (34:24).

These FAQs encapsulate critical, nuanced discussions from the episode, each rooted in specific questions that drew out the most thoughtful and resonant insights.

Men Beyond Survival: Reclaiming Connection and Community in Modern Masculinity

What if the solution to men’s growing sense of isolation does not lie in speaking more, but in doing more—side by side, with sleeves rolled up and a campfire burning between them?

In a world filled with pressured narratives about how men ought to express themselves, the latest episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, titled “Men Beyond Survival,” shatters the “man code” and invites listeners to rethink what support, healing, and growth can look like for men today. Inspired by guest Tom Gold—Bushcraft instructor and life coach—the conversation, hosted by Joanne Lockwood, powerfully reframes male wellbeing as an adventure of belonging, not just survival.

The Problem: Modern Masculinity and the Growing Disconnect

Beneath record levels of “male loneliness” and fragmented communities lies an unstated crisis: men are urged to talk about feelings, yet often find these requests hollow, performative, or incompatible with their own lived experience. As Tom Gold recalls from his upbringing and professional journey, traditional masculine norms have evolved in complicated ways. While the world calls for men to be “emotionally available,” the structures of support offered rarely honour diverse ways of being, especially for those who process through action rather than conversation.

Statistics indicate that, compared to previous generations, men today have fewer close friendships, less communal activity, and a shrinking sense of belonging (44:01). The vacuum left behind isn’t just anecdotal; it reverberates through mental health services, recovery communities, and most poignantly, in the silent struggles of ordinary men who feel excluded from the inclusive movements surrounding them (50:03). Add to that the cultural tendency to caricature men as emotionally illiterate or stubbornly silent, and it becomes clear: “men don’t talk” is a symptom, not a root cause.

Reimagining Support: From Talking to Doing

As Tom Gold shared, transformative change for men often happens away from conference rooms and therapy sofas. It emerges in the woods, with the crackle of fire and the tangible task of building, cooking, or simply existing together (26:55). Such settings evoke a lineage stretching back to humanity’s earliest days—when the hearth was the heart of a community, and meaningful connection was forged in shared purpose, not just shared words.

He observes that in male groups, the need to fix—whether a campfire or a conversation—is deeply ingrained, sometimes unhelpful, and often misunderstood (34:05). Men gather, support one another, and communicate “side by side”—a nod, a shoulder-clap, a quietly shared joke. For many, “showing up” is the deepest form of emotional presence, yet its value is routinely overlooked in contemporary models of care.

But does this approach truly work? The evidence, both anecdotal and practical, is compelling. In his bushcraft sessions, men who initially remain silent, content to chop wood or watch the fire, eventually open up—if and when they choose. Over time, the mere act of being included, without pressure to perform emotional labour, is enough to spark genuine breakthroughs (21:02). These aren’t therapy groups, but communities in the truest sense: belonging is created by the act of doing, not dissecting.

Actionable Steps: Building Real Male Community

This episode of Inclusion Bites, grounded in Tom Gold’s experience, distils several actionable insights for organisations, community leaders, and individuals seeking to make a real impact on male wellbeing:

1. Create Purposeful Spaces, Not Just Safe Ones

• Put less emphasis on “feelings circles” and more on shared activities. Whether it’s a campfire, a project, or a walk, focus on doing something together. Let talking be optional, not forced.

2. Normalise Emotional Presence Beyond Words

• Recognise that support may be silent. A nod, a listen, a presence sometimes carries more weight than dialogue. Value non-verbal communication and “just being there.”

3. Foster Men-Only and Mixed Groups Thoughtfully

• Joanne Lockwood noted the vital difference in discourse between all-male and all-female groups (42:44). Men can benefit from male-only spaces crafted with intentionality, where the rules and expectations are their own.

4. Avoid Stereotyping or Pathologising Male Approaches

• Dismantle the harmful trope that men are “bad at emotions.” There are multiple valid forms of communication and emotional sharing—support men to access their authentic way of connecting, not a prescriptive model.

5. Engage Men in DEI Conversations as Stakeholders, Not Villains

• Men, especially white men, are often “othered” by well-intentioned Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives (50:03). Reframe the dialogue: we are all part of the journey towards belonging. Encourage male participation and leadership in inclusion efforts.

6. Celebrate Small Wins and Rituals

• As Tom Gold describes, small achievements—making a fire, fixing something, or simply supporting a group—can rebuild confidence and give men a sense of value that spills over into other parts of life (33:27).

Towards a New Model of Masculine Wellbeing

“Men Beyond Survival” pushes us to ask: what does it truly mean for men to thrive, not just survive, amidst sweeping social transformation? Men’s journeys are not monolithic. As Tom Gold makes clear, tapping into the elemental—nature, action, camaraderie—can restore some of the primal community many of us instinctively crave but seldom find.

We must resist the urge to “fix” men, to force them to emote on cue, or to shame them for what they do not say. Instead, let’s build frameworks—literal and metaphorical—that encourage presence, agency, and real connection.

Call to Action

The work starts now. Whether in workplaces, families, or communities, heed the lessons of “Men Beyond Survival.” Seek out opportunities to connect with the men around you—invite them into action, not just conversation. If you’re an HR leader, facilitator, or community organiser, audit your inclusion strategies: do they genuinely reach and reflect men’s varied realities, or do they privilege one style over others?

Let’s move beyond survival. Let’s build new rituals and communities where every man can find belonging, worth, and meaning—on his own terms, yet never alone.

Feeling inspired? Listen to the full “Men Beyond Survival” episode, connect with Tom Gold for more on bushcraft and men’s mental fitness, or reach out to Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

Together, we can spark a renaissance of community—one campfire at a time.

Listen to the Inclusion Bites Podcast: Men Beyond Survival at seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.

"If you could stay strong and find peace at the same time, is it too much to ask for both?"

Discussion Questions: "Men Beyond Survival"

1. In what ways did Tom Gold’s upbringing influence his perspectives on risk-taking, adventure, and fatherhood, and how do these values translate into his work with men outdoors?

2. Tom Gold describes a "Man Code" that encourages men to project strength and suppress emotions. How does this cultural expectation impact men’s mental health, and what alternative models could foster healthier emotional expression?

3. Reflecting on Joanne Lockwood’s observation of gendered communication styles, how might all-male and all-female groups facilitate different types of connection and support?

4. To what extent does performative wellbeing differ from genuine male mental fitness, and how might outdoor activities create space for authentic conversations that aren’t possible in other settings?

5. Given Tom Gold’s comments on group dynamics, why might some men prefer non-verbal or task-based participation over traditional ‘talking therapy’, and how can programmes be more inclusive of these preferences?

6. Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood discuss the risks and rewards of letting children learn through outdoor adventure. Where should the balance lie between safety and growth, and how might this shape resilience in adulthood?

7. The episode addresses issues around male disenfranchisement and belonging. How can society create spaces where men feel included in conversations about diversity, equity, and inclusion without feeling alienated?

8. What are the dangers and potential causes behind the attraction of young men to figures like Andrew Tate or right-wing movements, and how might this be counteracted with more constructive narratives of masculinity?

9. Reflect on the principle that “showing up” for someone doesn’t always mean offering solutions. How might this insight reshape how we support men in our lives facing difficult circumstances?

10. With evidence that men today often have fewer close friends than previous generations, what strategies can individuals and communities adopt to foster deeper male friendships and supportive networks?

Men Beyond Survival: Episode FAQ

What does "men beyond survival" mean in this context?

"Men beyond survival" explores how men can move from merely coping with modern pressures toward finding purpose, connection, and authentic wellbeing. The episode investigates practical, non-performative approaches to men's mental fitness, focusing on fostering community, resilience, and belonging—especially through shared experiences in nature.

How can outdoor activities help with men's mental health?

Engagement with the outdoors provides men with a space to connect, reflect, and reset away from societal pressures and digital distractions. Activities such as bushcraft, campfire gatherings, and physical tasks allow for quiet companionship and subtle, non-verbal support. As Tom Gold notes, even simple acts like chopping wood or tending a fire can be profoundly restorative and empower men to find solitude or camaraderie as needed 00:20:27.

Do men need to talk about their problems to feel included?

Not always. While open conversation is encouraged, Tom Gold emphasises that men can find support simply by being present and contributing to group activities, even in silence. The space to just 'be'—without pressure to share—is vital. When men do decide to speak, the group is there to listen without judgement or unnecessary advice 00:21:02.

Why might some men resist traditional wellbeing initiatives or group discussions?

Contemporary approaches to wellbeing often expect men to be openly expressive about their feelings, which might not suit every personality or cultural norm. Performative or compulsory sharing can feel alienating or inauthentic, making some men less likely to engage. The episode highlights the importance of respecting varied communication styles, allowing room for hands-on interaction and silent solidarity 00:21:48.

What is the "Man Code" and how does it impact men's wellbeing?

Tom Gold describes the "Man Code" as a set of unwritten rules: always project strength, claim to be fine, and suppress emotional struggles. While historically useful, this code can lead to emotional isolation. However, even men who follow the Man Code may benefit from environments that encourage organic, subtle support rather than overt vulnerability 00:23:01.

Are current Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) efforts adequately supporting men?

The episode explores how many DEI initiatives inadvertently neglect the challenges faced by men—particularly white men—who may not feel included in conversations about belonging and support. As Joanne Lockwood and Tom Gold discuss, there is a real risk that men may feel marginalised or believe support is "not for them", making engagement more challenging 00:49:07.

Why do some young men gravitate towards controversial figures like Andrew Tate?

Figures like Andrew Tate appeal to young men who feel disenfranchised or disconnected from mainstream narratives. They offer messages of empowerment, independence, and belonging, perceived as missing elsewhere. Understanding this appeal helps frame the importance of more inclusive, constructive channels for male engagement and connection 00:53:41.

How does non-verbal support between men look in practice?

Support does not always require words. Gestures such as a hand on the shoulder, a nod, or simply being present can convey solidarity. The episode references powerful examples from both Tom Gold's life and historical documentary footage, illustrating how deep emotional messages can be communicated through actions rather than conversation 00:38:06.

Why is community so important for men?

Community provides a necessary antidote to isolation, offering men a sense of identity, belonging, and mutual support. The episode notes a decline in close male friendships within this generation, highlighting the essential role of gatherings, however informal, for physical and mental health 00:44:06.

How can men or organisations get involved in these practices?

Tom Gold recommends starting with accessible outdoor activities and group sessions focused on shared tasks rather than forced dialogue. Those interested can reach out to him via LinkedIn, his website beyondthemancave.co.uk, or Instagram for advice and upcoming retreat information 00:58:09.

Where can listeners find more episodes or get involved?

Listeners can subscribe to Inclusion Bites via seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen. To share feedback, stories, or express interest in participating, email Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

About the Guest: Tom Gold

Background and Expertise

Tom Gold is a Bushcraft instructor and life coach who specialises in helping men develop authentic mental resilience through outdoor experiences. Based in a rural part of Scotland just north of Glasgow, Tom Gold draws upon personal upbringing and years of professional experience to design and deliver programmes rooted in the natural world. His formative years, strongly influenced by his father's practical skills and fearless approach to adventure, have crafted a philosophy that blends traditional survival skills with modern emotional wellbeing practices.

Tom Gold's unique superpower, as he describes it, is "resetting in nature"—the rejuvenation gained from spending a solitary night outdoors with simple kit and a notebook, returning with a renewed sense of self 00:01:36.

Core Views on Men's Wellbeing and Connection

The Power of the Outdoors

• Tom Gold strongly believes in the transformative, therapeutic value of being outdoors. Activities such as building fires, camping, and bushcraft are not merely survival skills but vehicles for personal growth, memory-making, and emotional resetting 00:03:09, 00:25:14, 00:32:10.

• He emphasises that even brief outdoor adventures create lasting, positive memories—often more impactful than hours spent in front of screens 00:06:49.

Men, Modernity, and Communication

• Tom Gold challenges the current narrative that all men should be openly talkative about their feelings. He observes that many are not comfortable with performative displays of vulnerability or group confessional formats 00:20:08, yet can still benefit and participate meaningfully in communal activities.

• Not all men are ready or willing to verbalise emotional struggles; providing space for them to simply 'be' within a group is of significant value. For many, actions—such as tending a fire or chopping wood—serve as non-verbal communication and connection 00:20:27.

• When men do choose to speak, their contributions are often deeply considered and impactful—an atmosphere of trust can nurture these moments 00:21:02.

Scepticism of Stereotypes and Pop-Culture Tropes

• Tom Gold critiques the oversimplified image of emotionally closed, incompetent men as perpetuated by media such as Peppa Pig's Daddy Pig 00:22:44. He warns that these caricatures provide comfortable excuses for disengagement and reinforce an unhelpful worldview of masculine ineptitude or emotional suppression.

• He discusses the "Man Code": a learned behaviour of projecting outward strength, declaring everything is 'fine', and maintaining a tightly guarded inner world. While this code has historically enabled achievements, Tom Gold questions whether it also limits men's potential for well-rounded wellbeing and genuine greatness 00:23:01.

Community, Identity, and Sociopolitical Belonging

• Tom Gold is acutely aware of the contemporary isolation many men face—citing research indicating a decline in the number of close male friendships compared with previous generations 00:43:41.

• He expresses concern over the societal disenfranchisement of men, particularly white men, who may feel unrepresented or even unwelcome in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) discussions 00:49:00.

• Tom Gold analyses the appeal of figures like Andrew Tate, Tommy Robinson, and even Trump as voices who are perceived to address the alienation and disconnection some men feel in modern society. He notes that these movements offer a sense of freedom, representation, or community—regardless of their ideological content 00:52:16.

Approach to Group Work

• Tom Gold's group sessions eschew confessional 'group hug' models in favour of physically shared tasks—such as firelighting, cooking, or trekking. He finds the ancient, elemental act of gathering around a fire particularly conducive to honest sharing, even if some men remain silent 00:25:43, 00:27:25.

• He stresses the importance of presence over problem-solving: sometimes, a gesture—a hand on a shoulder, shared silence, or simply turning up—communicates more support than any advice or proposed solution 00:37:47.

• Through these means, Tom Gold fosters non-judgemental, practical communities where all forms of participation are valid.

Summary

Tom Gold espouses a view of masculine wellbeing that honours action, presence, and community, whilst challenging limiting stereotypes. He advocates for practical, nature-based interventions alongside a nuanced understanding of men's emotional landscapes—questioning whether contemporary DEI work is adequately meeting the needs of all men. His approach combines the wisdom of old with the demands of the present, asking: what more could men achieve if allowed to be both strong and truly at peace?

Training and Workshop Ideas Inspired by the Episode "Men Beyond Survival"

1. Men’s Mental Fitness in the Outdoors

Overview:
An experiential workshop harnessing bushcraft and nature-based practices to promote mental wellbeing and real resilience for men.

• Fire-making and campcraft as metaphors for self-efficacy

• Guided reflection sessions around a fire

• Tools for managing introspection and non-verbal processing

• Actionable strategies for translating outdoor learning into daily life

2. Beyond “Talking More”: Practical Approaches to Men’s Wellbeing

Overview:
Challenging performative expectations in men’s mental health, this session explores meaningful engagement beyond traditional talk therapy.

• Understanding the “Man Code” and cultural scripts

• Alternative routes to connection (e.g., shared tasks, silent solidarity)

• Active listening and presence as support frameworks

• Navigating support without “fixing” or prescriptive advice

3. Fatherhood and Trust: Building Resilient Intergenerational Bonds

Overview:
Focusing on transferable life skills through adventure and shared challenge, with an emphasis on trust-building between fathers and children.

• Storytelling exercises linking outdoor experiences to developmental growth

• Health and safety vs. calculated risk-taking in skill development

• Designing family-inclusive adventure activities

• Reflective practice for passing on resilience and decision-making abilities

4. Engaging “Hard-to-Reach” Men: Reframing Belonging in DEI

Overview:
Addressing the absence of white men in DEI conversations, this session focuses on building inclusive spaces and countering disengagement.

• Understanding alienation: flags, belonging, and current discourse

• Socratic dialogue: who is DEI for, and how do we include all identities?

• Strategies for inclusive outreach without stigma or guilt

• Creating affinity spaces tailored to men’s communication norms

5. Responding to Polarisation: Healthy Masculinity in a Fragmented World

Overview:
An enquiry into disenfranchisement and radicalisation of men, focusing on constructive identification and roles in society.

• Exploring why figures like Andrew Tate and incel communities are appealing

• The role of freedom, agency, and voice in masculinity

• Facilitated group dialogue: safe expression of frustrations and hopes

• Co-designing action plans for more productive, inclusive masculinities

6. Skills for Practitioners: Facilitating Men’s Groups Effectively

Overview:
Professional development for facilitators, focusing on the nuances of running male-oriented wellbeing groups.

• Group dynamics: balancing silence, task-oriented activity, and sharing

• Managing expectations, avoiding stereotypes, and fostering trust

• Creating safe “non-performative” spaces for processing

• Crisis support: referrals and boundaries

7. From Campfire to Boardroom: Translating Outdoor Learning into Organisational Culture

Overview:
Connecting lessons from bushcraft and outdoor groupwork to strategies for team support, leadership, and inclusion in the workplace.

• Symbolism of the campfire: circles, collaboration, and shared experience

• Building psychological safety using primal group frameworks

• Micro-actions for leaders: showing up, listening, and non-verbal support

• Addressing the "allyship burden" and supporting all employees inclusively

Potential Delivery Formats:

• Immersive retreats

• Workshops (on-site or outdoor settings)

• Peer-facilitated group sessions

• Masterclasses for DEI and HR professionals

• Father–child or intergenerational programmes

Key Principles Drawn from the Episode:

• Respect for non-verbal, action-oriented support methods

• Valuing memory-making and “wins” as building blocks for resilience

• Recognition of challenges specific to modern masculinity and community

• Creating safe, stigma-free environments for men to connect and grow

For further collaboration or bespoke session design, contact: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

Post 1

Outdoor experiences aren't just for adventure—they nurture trust, resilience, and belonging. Sometimes, life's best lessons are learned around a campfire, not a boardroom table.

Post 2

Some men find comfort in silent camaraderie, not sharing feelings aloud. Real inclusion means respecting all forms of connection—sometimes just showing up is enough.

Post 3

Men’s well-being isn’t about “fixing” but listening. Advice isn’t always necessary; often, a quiet, supportive presence matters most.

Post 4

Masculinity isn’t obsolete; it’s evolving. The myth of the “emotionless man” harms us all. Spaces that allow men to support each other, in their own ways, are vital.

Post 5

If voices like Andrew Tate gain followers, what unmet needs are we missing? Inclusion means hearing those who feel left out—especially those who aren’t speaking up.

Leadership Insights Channel

Title: Supporting Men’s Mental Wellbeing as a Leader

Are you a leader unsure how to support men’s mental health in your team? A common issue is assuming that everyone wants to talk openly. The reality? Many men find performative well-being sessions alienating or unhelpful.

Here’s what you can do differently:

1. Create Inclusive Environments: Allow people to contribute in ways that feel natural—some find value simply in being present, not speaking up.

2. Normalise Quiet Participation: Recognise those who prefer practical tasks or non-verbal support. Let them know their presence matters.

3. Ditch the Pressure to “Fix”: Don’t rush to offer solutions. Listen, show up, and create trust by respecting boundaries.

4. Value Small Gestures: Sometimes, a nod, a wordless show of solidarity, or simply being there makes the biggest difference.

5. Champion Community: Foster spaces—physical or virtual—where men feel they belong, even without sharing emotionally.

Lead by example. When you understand, listen, and offer non-judgemental support, you build genuine loyalty and wellbeing in your team.

That’s real leadership insight.

1. 7 Ways Outdoor Adventures Boost Mental Fitness for Men | Real-life Recovery Stories | Tom @ BeyondtheMancave

2. Why 90 Percent of Men Thrive in Community Not Conversation | The Man Code Exposed | Tom @ BeyondtheMancave

3. From Knife Crime to Campfire | How Bushcraft Transforms Lives in Scotland | Surprising Stats | Tom @ BeyondtheMancave

Subject: Men Beyond Survival – Rediscovering Real Connection Outdoors

Hello Inclusion Bites Community,

We’re back with another inspiring episode of Inclusion Bites, and this one’s designed to break the mould! Joanne Lockwood welcomes bushcraft instructor and life coach Tom Gold onto the show for Episode 205: Men Beyond Survival – a powerful exploration of masculinity, resilience, and human connection beyond the everyday.

In their fireside-style conversation, Joanne Lockwood and Tom Gold journey through landscapes both literal and emotional, uncovering what it truly means for men to thrive, not just survive. Whether you’re winding down after a long day or looking for the next spark in your morning routine, this episode is a must-listen.

Five Keys You’ll Discover in This Episode

1. The Power of Outdoor Community: Learn how groups gathering around a simple campfire rekindle ancient bonds of trust, belonging, and honest conversation.

2. Redefining Men’s Groups: Not every man needs to “open up” right away—sometimes splitting wood or tending a flame is a conversation in itself.

3. Breaking the 'Man Code': Explore why performative strength holds men back and what’s possible if vulnerability is reframed as a source of growth, not weakness.

4. Active Presence Over Problem-Solving: Discover the transformative impact of simply showing up for someone—no fixing, just solidarity and support.

5. Navigating Belonging in a Divided World: Hear why some men feel disconnected from today’s conversations about diversity and how we can start bringing them back to the table.

Unique Fact from the Episode

Did you know the act of gathering around a fire has roots going back nearly 400,000 years? Tom Gold explains why humans are drawn to flames and how this primal tradition still creates one of the most powerful settings for meaningful connection—even today.

Take Action

Ready to ignite more inclusive conversations in your life? Listen to the episode, share it with your community, and let us know your thoughts! Email your feedback, stories, or even pitch yourself as a guest to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

Catch the episode and join the movement: Inclusion Bites – Listen Now

Strong Finish

Let’s continue to weave stronger communities where everyone is heard. With every episode, we’re not just listening—we’re changing the narrative on belonging, together. Until next time, keep the spark of inclusion alive!

Warm regards,
The Inclusion Bites Team

Episode Introduction

Join Joanne Lockwood and Tom Gold as they explore the realities of men’s wellbeing beyond performative talk. Delving into bushcraft, fatherhood, masculinity, and societal expectations, they reflect on community, emotional expression, and the impact of nature. The conversation examines the influence of culture, media, and support networks in helping men thrive, questioning mainstream approaches to men’s mental health whilst celebrating small victories and authentic connection.

In This Conversation We Discuss

👉 Nature & Wellbeing
👉 Male Friendships
👉 Identity & Belonging

Here Are a Few of Our Favourite Quotable Moments

"Active listening, perhaps an acceptance that you can't fix this straight away, but you can show up for that other guy."

"Showing up for me is 90% of it. Go to see that guy who's struggling... he knows you showed up and it counts for a tremendous amount."

"Men need to talk more—this is the message being pushed by DEI... But that pressure to talk more, I find it unhelpful at times."

Summary

This episode offers a nuanced look at men, masculinity, and belonging. If you’re curious about true inclusion and genuine mental fitness outside clichés, don’t miss this engaging chat. Listen now and be part of the change: Inclusion Bites Podcast.

LinkedIn Poll: Framing, Question & Options

Opening summary:
On the Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood spoke with Tom Gold about men's well-being, the challenges of modern masculinity, community, and why authentic support can mean more than just talking. Outdoor adventures, active listening, and finding belonging all play a role in redefining what it means to thrive as a man today.

Poll question:
Which approach best supports men’s mental fitness in your view?

Options:

1. 🔥 Outdoor group activities

2. 👂 Active listening support

3. 🗣️ Open feelings discussions

4. 💪 Skill-building challenges

#InclusionMatters #MensMentalHealth #Belonging #Wellbeing

Why vote:
Your vote helps shed light on diverse perspectives around men's mental wellness and fosters meaningful, inclusive practices for workplaces and communities alike.

🌲 Reflecting on the latest episode of Inclusion Bites, “Men Beyond Survival” with Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood, I’m reminded just how nuanced our work in HR and EDI must be.

Too often, the mental health and inclusion narratives overlook male perspectives, or encourage “solutions” that simply don’t resonate for everyone. This conversation challenged those assumptions, capturing the reality of performative wellbeing, the importance of authentic connection, and the value of introspection outdoors—not just dialogue.

🔥 Building belonging means giving space for every voice, even the quiet ones.
💬 Sometimes supporting a colleague isn’t about fixing—it’s about showing up and listening.
🤝 Creating inclusive cultures requires us to step beyond stereotypes and engage men meaningfully.

Let’s champion inclusion that’s genuinely universal.

#Inclusion #Belonging #MentalHealth #Leadership #EDI #InclusionBites

Key Insights for Senior Leaders, HR & EDI Professionals

🚹 Rethinking Masculinity and Men’s Wellbeing

This episode offers a nuanced look at men’s mental health, challenging the dominant narrative that all men must simply “talk more.” Tom Gold demonstrates that meaningful support and growth may occur outside of traditional talk-centric interventions—often through shared activity, task-based engagement, and safe, non-judgemental spaces.

🔥 The Transformative Role of Activity-Based Inclusion

A standout “aha moment” is the evidence that community and resilience are effectively cultivated through experiential learning—such as bushcraft or collective problem-solving. This approach circumvents stereotypical “group therapy” formats and instead leverages elemental, inclusive practices (e.g., sharing time round a fire) to foster belonging.

🤝 Challenging Performative Inclusion

Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood discuss the unintended impact of performative EDI efforts. For many men—especially those who might not identify with current EDI initiatives—“being told to talk” or “be an ally” can be alienating if their own needs are unaddressed. EDI must therefore avoid one-size-fits-all solutions and engage with how masculinity, vulnerability, and strength can co-exist.

💡 Aha Moments & New Directions

1. Not All Connection is Verbal: The most powerful interventions may involve active listening, showing up physically for colleagues, and shared silence—rather than immediate problem-solving or forced disclosure 36:05.

2. Community, Not Just Conversation: Men’s groups succeed when anchored in purposeful shared tasks, not just dialogue 20:08.

3. EDI Blind Spots: The traditional focus leaves some populations (e.g. white, straight men) disengaged, which can foster disenfranchisement and polarisation 49:00.

4. The Power of Rituals & Recognition: Simple acknowledgements and shared experiences (a “clap on the shoulder”, collaborative fire-building) are critical for authentic inclusion.

5. Addressing New Divides: The episode highlights emerging issues around male disenfranchisement and the rise of polarising figures (e.g. Andrew Tate), urging EDI professionals to consider who is missing from “everyone’s welcome” messaging 52:16.

🚀 Recommended Actions

• Broaden DEI Scope: Review your programmes to ensure men of all backgrounds are meaningfully included, not just tolerated.

• Create Alternative Spaces: Facilitate non-verbal, activity-based opportunities for connection and reflection—think outdoor retreats or skills workshops instead of traditional talking groups.

• Train for Active Presence: Equip line managers and leaders with skills to demonstrate empathy without needing to “fix” colleagues—normalise showing up and listening.

• Address Stereotypes Openly: Educate teams about the “Man Code” and its risks, encouraging narrative change around masculine support and vulnerability.

• Monitor for Alienation: Stay alert to signals of disengagement within your workforce—especially among those not already actively included in EDI efforts.

Hashtags

#InclusionBites #MensWellbeing #EDILeadership #ActiveListening #InclusiveCultures

SOCIAL MEDIA POST TITLE:
Why Men Need Community Beyond "Talking" – Rethinking Mental Fitness #MensWellbeing #InclusiveSupport

HASHTAGS:
#MensWellbeing #MentalFitness #CommunityMatters #AuthenticSupport #InclusiveMasculinity

TEXT ON SCREEN: Real Talk: Men Beyond Survival 🔥

All right, let’s get real for a moment about what men actually need to thrive—not just survive.

TEXT ON SCREEN: Society & Stereotypes 🚦

We're told that "men need to talk more" about their mental health. But let’s be honest—forced talk isn’t for everyone! Some men process best through action, not always words, and that’s okay.

TEXT ON SCREEN: Action Over Words 🪓

Sometimes, it’s about community. Imagine sitting round a campfire, chopping wood, just being present. For many men, sharing space and support, even in silence, is genuine connection. When someone finally does speak, it carries real weight—because everyone knows how hard that is.

TEXT ON SCREEN: Real Inclusion Means Real Community 🌱

The real challenge? Many men feel left behind by modern inclusion initiatives. They’re told to be allies, but who’s supporting them when life feels overwhelming? It’s about recognising that everyone needs help, even those who appear “fine”.

TEXT ON SCREEN: Fixing or Listening? 👂

Here’s a tip—stop trying to fix every problem. Sometimes just showing up, listening, and saying nothing is the most powerful thing you can do. Physical presence and a supportive nod can mean far more than advice.

TEXT ON SCREEN: Empower, Don’t Exclude 🧩

Men are seeking spaces to belong, not to feel blamed or stereotyped. Community building, practical activities, and a bit of nature can transform mental fitness far more than surface-level chats.

So if you want to support men’s wellbeing, focus on genuine connection, practical togetherness, and making space for action—not just talk.

Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨

## Specialist Terminology and Less Common Phrases

1. **Bushcraft Instructor**
   - An individual skilled in wilderness survival techniques, teaching practical outdoor skills such as fire-making, shelter construction, and foraging.

2. **Performative Wellbeing Talk**
   - Discussions or behaviours around mental health and wellbeing that are conducted for appearance's sake rather than genuine engagement or action.

3. **Mental Fitness**
   - The active development of psychological resilience, clarity, and emotional stability, often viewed as a parallel to physical fitness.

4. **Elemental Format**
   - A meeting format rooted in fundamental, primal settings, such as gathering around an open fire, intended to facilitate natural and open communication.

5. **Man Code**
   - An unwritten set of expectations and behaviours traditionally ascribed to men, emphasising outward strength, stoicism, and emotional suppression.

6. **Circle Around the Fire**
   - Referencing the act of forming a social circle around a central fire, echoing ancient communal traditions as a means of fostering belonging and dialogue.

7. **Community of Recovery**
   - A support network comprised typically of individuals overcoming addiction, who are notable, as discussed, for strong mutual support and caretaking.

8. **Introspective Non-Talker**
   - Individuals, particularly men, who prefer to remain silent or internalise their feelings during group discussions, yet find value in group presence and shared activity.

9. **Masculinity Emancipation/Disenfranchisement**
   - Descriptions relating to men’s perceived loss or restriction of traditional masculine identity, rights, or roles within modern societal or inclusion initiatives.

10. **Role of Active Listening**
    - The practice of attentive, non-judgemental listening that prioritises understanding over offering immediate solutions or advice.

11. **Unreadiness of Modern Workplaces**
    - The assertion that contemporary workplaces are ill-prepared for the influx of men holding non-mainstream, right-leaning views who may feel alienated by DEI efforts.

12. **Client Group (in the DEI context)**
    - A demographic or cohort that practitioners are attempting to reach with diversity, equity, and inclusion interventions, in this context specifically referring to men traditionally outside DEI focus.

13. **'Clap on the Shoulder' Support**
    - An understated, non-verbal act of reassurance or solidarity, often more meaningful among men than explicit emotional dialogue.

14. **Cartoonish Tropes of Masculinity**
    - Exaggerated, stereotypical depictions of men (e.g., emotionally incompetent, practically useless in the home), often propagated in media or as cultural shorthand.

15. **Incels**
    - A portmanteau for ‘involuntarily celibate’, describing men who feel excluded from mainstream romantic and social opportunities, sometimes fostering resentment.

16. **Transactional Male Conversation**
    - Dialogue in men-only settings that focuses on facts, events, or activities rather than feelings or vulnerability.

17. **Stereotypes of Masculine Resilience**
    - The expectation that men must always cope, remain unaffected by emotional hardship, and avoid outward displays of vulnerability.

18. **Genetic Memory (in Human Social Ritual)**
    - The suggestion that certain social behaviours (e.g., gathering round a fire) are deeply embedded in human psychology, possibly inherited from ancient ancestors.

19. **Unreadiness for 'Collision Ideology'**
    - The prediction that societal and workplace systems are ill-equipped for the tensions arising when traditional male identities intersect with progressive DEI agendas.

20. **Tangible Wins in Recovery**
    - The idea that practical, achievable successes (such as making a fire or shelter) can be pivotal for self-esteem, especially in personal recovery journeys.

Focus Keyword:
Positive People Experiences

Title

Men Beyond Survival: The Power of Positive People Experiences in Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast

Tags

Tags: positive people experiences, culture change, inclusion, belonging, men’s mental health, bushcraft, masculinity, DEI, team building, community, wellbeing, outdoor therapy, male empowerment, mental fitness, group dynamics, men’s groups, emotional intelligence, modern masculinity, self-discovery, societal transformation, personal growth, resilience, leadership, men in recovery, connection,

Killer Quote

Killer Quote: "But that sense of community can make a huge difference. You’re not the only person dealing with it." – Tom Gold

Hashtags

Hashtags: #PositivePeopleExperiences, #CultureChange, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #Inclusion, #Belonging, #MensMentalHealth, #Bushcraft, #MensWellbeing, #Community, #Transformation, #Masculinity, #Recovery, #Resilience, #EmotionalIntelligence, #Leadership, #SelfDiscovery, #PersonalGrowth, #DEI, #Wellbeing, #MenSupportingMen,

Why Listen

Why Listen: Positive People Experiences – Culture Change in Practice

Step into the heart of transformative conversations with this episode of Inclusion Bites, as I, Joanne Lockwood, am joined by bushcraft instructor and life coach Tom Gold to explore the compelling theme of Positive People Experiences and how they drive authentic Culture Change. In a society largely focused on performative strategies and tick-box diversity initiatives, this episode delves deep into the lived realities and fundamental shifts needed to nurture true belonging—especially among men navigating today’s challenging social terrain.

We open by reflecting on the formative power of the outdoors—stories of bonfires, adventure, and hands-on learning that fuelled not just skills, but emotional resilience and trust. Tom recounts his upbringing with a father who inspired him to embrace life’s risks and challenges head-on, forming the kernel of what later became his professional ethos: using nature as a space for healing, learning, and connecting. These Positive People Experiences rooted in the natural world illustrate an alternative to screen-dominated, risk-averse modern living, inviting listeners to consider what is truly lost when a generation grows up disconnected from nature and adventure.

Moving beyond nostalgia, we interrogate current paradigms of masculinity, especially how men are encouraged to communicate—or not communicate—about their struggles. Culture Change emerges as a necessity, not a luxury, when Tom and I discuss the pitfalls of “performative wellbeing” and the pressure on men to adopt talk-centric approaches to mental health. Tom’s group sessions demonstrate that true Positive People Experiences often take place in the silence around a fire, chopping wood, or simply sharing space. Here, culture isn’t changed by edict but by shared presence, subtle gestures, and the evolution of trust.

This episode challenges listeners to rethink familiar stereotypes and tropes in popular media and workplace DEI. Why do men sometimes resist open emotional conversations? What role does community play in sustaining mental wellbeing? We unpack the “man code” and its double-edged sword—how it has historically served as both a shield and a prison for countless men. We recount moments of breakthrough, where that “nodded silence” means more than words, and reflect on the urgent need for inclusive Culture Change that welcomes men into deeper vulnerability without erasing their authentic ways of connecting.

But the conversation does not shy away from controversial realities. We dive into the rise of disenfranchised men and the cultural vacuum being filled by polarising figures such as Andrew Tate and Tommy Robinson. We analyse how and why young men are drawn to these movements—often as a response to feeling excluded from mainstream diversity dialogues. Tom highlights the paradox: whilst men are frequently told to be supportive allies, their own needs may remain unaddressed, underlining the vital importance of building Positive People Experiences that are genuinely inclusive.

Through stories of recovery groups, father-son adventures, and men’s circles in the Scottish woodland, we illustrate how community can be organically fostered. These spaces offer not only belonging, but genuine opportunities for growth, leadership, and healing—the very essence of Culture Change in action. For workplace leaders, HR professionals, and anyone invested in meaningful inclusion, the episode offers an essential lens into why conventional strategies may miss the mark and what truly works to create environments where people can show up fully and thrive.

So, join us as we ignite real Culture Change by prioritising Positive People Experiences, nurturing authentic belonging, and daring to question the status quo. Whether you lead a team, seek personal growth, or wish to better support men in your circle, this is your invitation to listen, reflect, and be part of a ripple effect that transforms both individual lives and collective culture.

Closing Summary and Call to Action

Closing Summary and Call to Action: Actionable Insights for Driving Positive People Experiences and Culture Change

Reflecting on this episode, I am compelled to gather the core lessons and actionable steps that you—whether you’re a leader, colleague, friend, or family member—can embrace to drive real Culture Change through Positive People Experiences:

1. Centre Experiences, Not Only Words
   Real connection often occurs in the “doing” rather than the “speaking.” Tom’s approach to men’s mental fitness is grounded in practical activity—chopping wood, building fires, navigating the outdoors. These experiences dismantle barriers and foster trust beyond what a traditional talking circle ever could. Ask yourself: How can you create hands-on group activities that allow authentic connection to flourish in your organisation or community?

2. Honour Individual Communication Styles
   Not everyone processes or expresses emotion verbally. Some may contribute silently but find belonging in shared purpose and space. Recognise and value different forms of presence, resisting the temptation to force “talk for talk’s sake.” How inclusive is your approach to team wellbeing? Do you privilege extroverted styles over quiet reflection?

3. Challenge and Update Cultural Norms
   The old “man code” once served a purpose—projecting strength, stoicism, and reliability. However, its unchecked application can stifle emotional growth and collaboration. Lead by example: Normalise openness and subtle gestures of support, showing that vulnerability and strength are not mutually exclusive.

4. Tackle Disenfranchisement Through Belonging
   Fringe figures gain influence when mainstream culture fails to offer belonging. Listen deeply to the reasons some men feel excluded from diversity conversations. Shape Culture Change by extending invitations, not only mandates—curate spaces where everyone, regardless of their identity, can see themselves reflected and valued.

5. Celebrate Everyday Wins
   Tom describes the life-changing power of small victories—building a fire, crafting a meal, or simply supporting someone else’s journey. Recognise and reward incremental progress in your teams and families. Create rituals or recognition moments that build confidence and resilience.

6. Build Community organically
   Forced interactions rarely yield lasting change. Instead, create environments—physical or virtual—where community can emerge naturally, as it does around the primal allure of a campfire. Encourage group traditions, shared challenges, or regular informal gatherings to strengthen social bonds.

7. Listen Without Needing to “Fix”
   Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do for someone is to simply show up and listen, refraining from immediate advice-giving or trying to solve their problems. Develop your active listening skills—give space, nod, and let people know you are present and supportive.

8. Include, Don’t Exclude, in DEI Strategy
   DEI initiatives must be for everyone, including those who might feel left out by the current emphasis on underrepresented groups. In your efforts to advance inclusion, be mindful to continually communicate that Culture Change benefits the whole community.

9. Encourage Reflection Through Nature
   Reconnect with the outdoors to prompt self-reflection, calm, and new perspectives. Organise outdoor team-building sessions or retreats that go beyond corporate exercises and genuinely enable people to “reset” their mental state.

10. Educate Yourself on Social Trends
    Challenge your assumptions about why certain groups may be drawn to divisive leaders or ideologies. Engage in critical reflection and seek to understand before judging. The antidote to disconnection is understanding, not condemnation.

Actionable Steps for Listeners:

• Schedule a group activity that is experience-focused, such as a walk in nature or a simple task-based gathering.

• Start a conversation in your workplace or community about what “positive people experiences” would look like for all genders.

• Reflect on your own “man code,” expectations, or communication preferences, and make one change to create space for others’ styles this week.

• Reach out to a friend or colleague—just to listen, not to fix.

• Educate your team about the value of silence, presence, and small gestures.

• Sign up for alerts on future Inclusion Bites episodes, and circulate this episode to leaders, diversity champions, and those shaping organisational culture.

Your influence as a listener can create ripple effects of positive, lasting change—so take that next step today.

Outro

Thank you, the listener, for tuning in to the Inclusion Bites Podcast. If you found value in today’s exploration of Positive People Experiences and Culture Change, please like, subscribe, and share the episode to help others benefit from these powerful insights. To discover more and deepen your involvement, visit the SEE Change Happen website at https://seechangehappen.co.uk or explore more Inclusion Bites episodes at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.

Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood

Root Cause Analysis: Key Problems in "Men Beyond Survival"

Key Problem Identified

Problem:
Men find it difficult to openly discuss mental health struggles and access support, leading to isolation, under-addressed needs, and, in some cases, susceptibility to disenfranchisement and divisive influences.

Five Whys Analysis

1. Why do men find it difficult to openly discuss mental health struggles and access support?

Because there is a pervasive expectation that men must project outward strength, remain stoic, and not show vulnerability, as described by Tom Gold as "the Man Code" 22:59.

2. Why is there a pervasive expectation for men to be stoic and strong?

Because traditional cultural and societal norms have long associated masculine identity with emotional restraint, problem-solving, and self-reliance—traits reinforced through upbringing, media representations, and peer groups 22:59, 24:14.

3. Why have these norms been so powerfully perpetuated?

Because for previous generations, emotional suppression was often necessary for survival (e.g., wartime experiences, economic hardship) and has been modelled by historical and familial role models, further validated by seeing emotionally closed men as successful or heroic 24:08, 40:22.

4. Why is this approach problematic in the present day?

Because contemporary life presents complex emotional and social challenges (e.g., changing family structures, workplace pressures, D&I initiatives, societal expectations) where stoicism can lead to isolation, lack of genuine connection, and unmet support needs. Modern support frameworks often do not cater to the way many men are comfortable accessing help 20:08, 44:06.

5. Why have modern support frameworks failed to adapt to these male needs and experiences?

Because conversations and solutions around well-being and inclusion frequently reflect approaches that either overlook male communication preferences (action, shared activity, side-by-side engagement) or unintentionally alienate men by not representing or addressing their lived realities, thus leaving them outside the inclusion narrative 22:59, 49:07.

Root Cause Summary

At the root, men’s difficulties in discussing mental health and accessing support stem from entrenched cultural and societal narratives about masculinity, perpetuated over generations and reinforced by family, peers, and media. Modern support structures often fail to accommodate the comfort zone in which many men process emotions and seek connection (active, practical, or shoulder-to-shoulder settings), resulting in a disconnect that leaves men isolated and more vulnerable to divisive or extreme influences offering a sense of validation and belonging.

Recommendations & Solutions

1. Redesign Support Structures

• Create non-verbal, activity-based spaces (e.g. bushcraft, community projects, fitness sessions) that allow men to participate and connect in ways aligned with how they feel at ease, as modelled in Tom Gold’s outdoor sessions 20:08, 25:14.

• Foster environments where participation is valued even for those who simply want to listen or do, removing pressure to perform emotionally.

2. Challenge and Expand Masculine Narratives

• Proactively model and normalise a broader set of masculine traits that encompass emotional coherence, community care, and mutual support, shifting narratives in media and organisational culture 24:19.

• Invite diverse male experiences into the D&I conversation, ensuring that support reflects real, lived realities and does not rely on stereotypes.

3. Engage Men in the Inclusion Agenda

• Design interventions that make clear how inclusion initiatives benefit men directly (not merely as allies), offering them tangible value and representation 49:00.

• Draw upon male role models and peer networks to co-lead these conversations and provide practical blueprints for engagement.

4. Promote Community and Belonging

• Recognise and address the loss of close male friendships and community by developing male-focused groups based on shared activity and mutual support—prioritising camaraderie over emotional performance 44:01.

• Leverage these communities to subtly introduce mental fitness and well-being discussions as trust develops.

5. Address Extremist Influences

• Acknowledge the roots of disenfranchisement that have made certain divisive figures appealing ([Andrew Tate, etc.]), and counter with authentic, positive engagement and alternative narratives that offer freedom, agency, and validation without exclusion or harm 52:16.

In summary:
Men’s reluctance to access or benefit from support is deeply rooted but not immutable. Solutions must centre on reimagining support as something that meets men “where they are” and proactively includes their voices, preferences, and needs in both narrative and practice, fostering community, acceptance, and a more holistic model of masculinity.

Slide 1

What does it really mean for men to go beyond just surviving—and start truly living?

Slide 2

🔥 Around ancient campfires and in today’s men’s groups, Tom Gold reveals why real connection doesn’t always need words—sometimes it’s found in shared silence and learning trust in nature.

Slide 3

🧠 Is the pressure on men to “open up” helping—or do we overlook the quieter ways men process, bond, and heal?

Slide 4

🚩 From knife crime to the rise of divisive figures like Andrew Tate, discover how disenfranchisement is shaping modern masculinity—and why building genuine community has never mattered more.

Slide 5

✨ Hungry for honest, transformative conversations?
Tap the link in bio to immerse yourself in “Men Beyond Survival” on Inclusion Bites.
Join Joanne Lockwood & Tom Gold—and ignite the spark of belonging.

Men Beyond Survival: Navigating Strength, Silence, and Belonging

Meta description: Join me, Joanne Lockwood, as I reflect on my invigorating conversation with Tom Gold about modern masculinity, men’s mental health, and inclusive belonging. We look beyond stereotypes to discover how men can truly thrive, not just survive.

The topic of men’s mental health and inclusive belonging resonates far beyond any one-to-one chat; it’s a societal heartbeat, often muted by outdated expectations and overlooked needs. In my powerful discussion with Tom Gold, bushcraft instructor and life coach, we journeyed into what it means for men to move beyond mere survival—to build community, confront modern challenges, and shape healthier ways of being. Here’s what struck me most from our time together.

Nature’s Blueprint: Rediscovering Outdoor Connection

From the outset, Tom spoke of how foundational experiences in nature with his father launched a lifelong appreciation for adventure and trust. These weren't just idle pastimes; climbing derelict castles, lighting fires, or paddling down a canal became living metaphors for courage, risk, and resilience. It’s fascinating—are we missing something vital in today’s digital age by forsaking the outdoors for screens?

Tom’s perspective made me consider how outdoor experiences cement formative memories and practical skills. Young people especially need that visceral encounter with uncertainty, risk, and reward: when was the last time you allowed yourself or your child to truly explore, to get muddy, or to learn problem-solving in a woodland instead of in front of a console?

Building Belonging Through Shared Challenge

The primary keyword—inclusive belonging—echoed through our exchange as we explored why shared struggles build unspoken bonds among men. Tom described leading recovery groups around a fire, where participants found connection in chopping wood, tending flames, or sitting in companionable silence. The campfire—an elemental anchor for over 400,000 years—serves as both community hearth and space for emotional warmth.

I was struck by the idea that true belonging is less about talking and more about being together, sharing space, and mutual recognition. Could it be that the power of inclusive belonging lies in allowing men to contribute in their own way, whether in words or in practical action?

Silence and Strength: Rethinking 'Talking More'

A pervasive trope holds that men “need to talk more” to address mental health. Tom offered a different lens. Not every man feels compelled to share in groups, and yet, through physical acts—splitting wood, brewing tea, or just turning up—men express care and camaraderie. When a previously silent participant finally speaks, the impact is profound. Are we, as a society, pushing verbal vulnerability at the expense of silent strength, and is there space for both?

Our conversation challenged me to reconsider the definition of emotional literacy. Might inclusive belonging be about allowing a full spectrum of expression—action, presence, and, yes, sometimes words?

Modern Masculinity and 'The Man Code'

Tom’s concept of “The Man Code”—projecting strength, denying struggle, keeping a lid on emotional turmoil—reminded me of inherited cultural scripts. History celebrates stoic, closed men, but what was sacrificed beneath those facades? What could men achieve if liberated from the need to suppress their struggles?

This brought to mind the roles we cast men into today: fixers, providers, silent stoics. Is it time to disrupt these codes, not to reject strength, but to pair it with peace, connection, and honest self-reflection? Could inclusive belonging start by rewriting the rules altogether?

Disenfranchisement, Flags, and the Search for Identity

An unexpected turn led us to reflect on nationalism and disenfranchisement. With changing symbols and societal norms, men—particularly “average white men”—often find themselves without a clear group identity. The flags we wave, Tom noted, can unite or divide, and in today’s world, men are sometimes left wondering where they fit in, whose cause they champion, and how to feel pride without exclusion.

This curiosity opened a difficult question: Have we inadvertently created spaces where inclusive belonging feels off-limits for some? What responsibility do we have to ensure no one feels left behind by the very structures meant to unite?

The Allure of Extremes: Understanding Radical Movements

As conversations shifted to figures like Andrew Tate and controversial movements, I saw how men searching for belonging may be seduced by clear, if problematic, narratives. When mainstream society ignores certain needs, radical voices rush to fill the void. Why are so many young men drawn to such extremes? What voids in connection, identity, or opportunity are we leaving unaddressed?

Both Tom and I agreed: To foster genuine inclusive belonging, conversations must be wider and braver, including those who feel invisible or misunderstood. Only then can we reach beyond survival and towards a society where every individual thrives.

Conclusion: The Heartbeat of Inclusive Belonging

This conversation reaffirmed for me that inclusive belonging is not just a soft ideal—it’s a necessity for men’s mental health and societal cohesion. By creating honest, judgment-free spaces, modelling both silence and speech, and showing up for one another, we begin building bridges across generational and cultural divides. Perhaps the greatest curiosity that remains: What might our communities look like if all men found themselves welcomed beyond the campfires, united by more than silence, and invited, at last, to thrive?

To continue this vital journey, connect with me at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or listen in at Inclusion Bites—let’s keep the spark of inclusive belonging alive, together.

🔥 Men, mental fitness & moving beyond stereotypes! 🔥
Ever wondered what real support looks like—without the kumbaya or fixing? Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood dive deep into honest conversations around men, bushcraft wisdom, and finding strength in the outdoors. From fire circles to fatherhood, it's about inclusion, belonging, and carving out space for every voice.

🎧 Want to challenge the status quo? Tap for more stories that spark change: Inclusion Bites Podcast

Slogans, Soundbites and Quotes

1. "Ignite the Spark of Inclusion"

AI Image Prompt:
A vibrant campfire at dusk, surrounded by a diverse group of people in relaxed outdoor clothing, seated in a circle. Soft embers glow as stylised sparks trail into the starry night, subtly weaving into the word "Inclusion" with warm, inviting colours.

2. "Reset in Nature, Return Renewed"

AI Image Prompt:
A solitary figure lying contentedly under a simple tarp, notebook tucked beside them, nestled in a lush forest clearing at sunrise. Dew on greenery, soft beams of sunlight streaming through trees, and a restful expression on the figure’s face, encapsulating peace and renewal.

3. "Community Above All Else"

AI Image Prompt:
A close-knit group of individuals, male and female, gathered around a glowing campfire, smiling, sharing food and supporting each other. Gentle woodland background, night sky overhead, sense of unity radiating from the fire’s light.

4. "Showing Up is 90% of It"

AI Image Prompt:
Two hands meeting in solidarity over a wooden bench amidst a lightly disordered garage, with tools and wood shavings in the background. Grit meets caring, symbolising the quiet power of presence and silent support.

5. "Outdoors: Where Strength and Peace Meet"

AI Image Prompt:
A strong, calm individual kneeling to tend a campfire, with mountains and a reflective lake in the background. Half the scene depicts action (chopping wood, building the fire), while the other half shows peaceful reflection in nature.

6. "Men Need Space, Not Just Words"

AI Image Prompt:
A group of men, some engaged in chopping wood, others staring thoughtfully into a fire, with expressive body language suggesting comfort without the need for constant conversation. Subtle speech bubbles carry ellipses, not words.

7. "The Man Code: Project Strength, Find Peace"

AI Image Prompt:
An illustrated shield split in half: one side featuring bold, stoic imagery (mountain peaks, strong lines) and the other, tranquil natural elements (soft water, greenery, a gentle sunrise), capturing the duality of outward strength and inner calm.

8. "Firelight. Brotherhood. Belonging."

AI Image Prompt:
A stylised, almost emblematic campfire with shadowy figures forming a protective, supportive ring around it. The flames subtly morph into interlinked hands, representing unity and male friendship.

9. "From Survival to Thriving"

AI Image Prompt:
A progression of silhouettes: the first huddled under a tarp in the rain, the next confidently lighting a fire, then standing tall at sunrise atop a hill. Rainbows or light rays convey transition from mere survival to empowerment and well-being.

10. "#InclusionIgnited"

AI Image Prompt:
A colourful hashtag rising above a campfire set amidst varied outdoor scenes (woodland, hills, rivers), with outlines of different people—men and women—cheering, interacting, and sharing stories under the wide sky.

All slogans and visuals are designed to be evocative, memorable, and desirable, resonating with the core messages of belonging, strength, vulnerability, and real connection from the episode.

Tom Gold, our guest on Men Beyond Survival, this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, opens a door to the untold realities behind men’s mental fitness and community. As a bushcraft instructor and life coach, Tom draws upon a lifetime shaped by outdoor adventure, intergenerational skills, and the profound lessons learned both in nature and at the heart of family life.

Tom’s work centres upon supporting men to move past mere survival, and to instead find genuine belonging through shared experience. He creates spaces—often around the elemental comfort of a campfire—where men can connect, reflect, and support one another without pressure or expectation. His holistic approach invites men to be present: whether they choose to speak or simply to 'show up', each person’s needs are respected, honouring diverse methods of coping and expression.

Through candid storytelling, Tom examines the societal tropes and ‘man code’ that often impede emotional expression. He explores the evolving pressures on modern masculinity, interrogating how performative wellbeing and stereotypes both silence and disenfranchise men from different backgrounds. Tom’s perspective urges the importance of community and reconnection, particularly for those who may feel marginalised by current inclusion narratives.

On this episode, Tom shares practical insight into how outdoor experiences and quiet camaraderie can reignite a sense of purpose and inner resilience. He challenges us to reconsider what it means for men to thrive in today’s world, and how environments of acceptance—rooted in both tradition and innovation—can support not just men, but the wider community in driving authentic, inclusive change.

YouTube Description: "Men Beyond Survival" | Inclusion Bites Podcast

Are we truly listening to men, or just telling them how to think and feel? The rules of masculine identity are changing—so why are so many men feeling left behind?

Join Joanne Lockwood as she welcomes Tom Gold, bushcraft instructor and life coach, for an unflinching conversation about what it means to thrive as a man today. This episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, “Men Beyond Survival,” challenges assumptions around performative wellbeing, male mental health, and inclusion.

Insightful Discussion Points

• How Tom Gold’s upbringing in the outdoors shaped his philosophy of trust, adventure, and resilience, which he now brings to men’s wellbeing work.

• Why simply telling men to “open up” can be counterproductive, and how authentic connection can be forged through action, camaraderie, and shared experience outside.

• The overlooked importance of male-only spaces and non-verbal support, against a backdrop of societal expectations and shifting definitions of allyship.

• The growing challenge posed by the disenfranchisement of young men and the allure of reactionary figures, and why genuine inclusion requires addressing those left out of mainstream diversity narratives.

Key Takeaways & Actions

• Rethink how support for men is offered—not just through words, but through being present and enabling connection via meaningful activity.

• Recognise that emotional expression varies widely, and that community for men may look different—but is no less vital.

• Challenge the stereotypes and media tropes around masculinity: inclusion is only authentic when everyone has a seat at the fire.

• Reflect on your workplace and community environments: are white men truly included in your inclusion agenda, or presumed to need nothing?

• Take inspiration from the outdoors—sometimes the most profound change starts with stepping outside together.

By the end of this episode, you’ll be reconsidering your assumptions about male mental health, feeling refreshed about what real inclusion means, and empowered to create spaces where every man can thrive beyond survival.

Subscribe, like, and share! Join our Inclusion Bites community: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
For conversations that ignite real change, email: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk

#Inclusion #MaleMentalHealth #Bushcraft #Wellbeing #MenBeyondSurvival #Belonging #Masculinity #Allyship #Community #Diversityandinclusion

Men Beyond Survival: Host Quiz

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to Joanne Lockwood, what is a core objective of the Inclusion Bites Podcast?

   • A) Providing corporate compliance training

   • B) Exploring inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation

   • C) Teaching outdoor survival skills

   • D) Promoting celebrity interviews

2. In the introduction, Joanne Lockwood suggests listeners can:

   • A) Apply for a job through the podcast

   • B) Be passive consumers only

   • C) Participate in the conversation by reaching out

   • D) Only send anonymous feedback

3. Joanne Lockwood reflects on formative childhood experiences involving:

   • A) City life and attending museums

   • B) Outdoor adventures and learning from a parental figure

   • C) Academic competitions

   • D) Exclusive technology-based activities

4. When discussing childhood risk-taking, Joanne Lockwood describes its value as:

   • A) Dangerous and unnecessary

   • B) Essential for learning and growth

   • C) To be avoided in modern parenting

   • D) Only suitable for girls

5. Joanne Lockwood considers which of the following a barrier to talking about men’s wellbeing?

   • A) Society always encourages men to talk openly

   • B) Not all men want to have open, emotional conversations

   • C) Most men prefer group therapy

   • D) Men freely join mixed-gender sharing circles

6. How does Joanne Lockwood describe the nature of male-only versus female-only group conversations?

   • A) They are identical in content and tone

   • B) Male groups tend to focus on transactional topics, while female groups discuss emotional matters

   • C) Both groups avoid talking about feelings

   • D) Female groups rarely discuss challenges

7. According to Joanne Lockwood, performative well-being talk for men can be problematic because:

   • A) All men prefer to share deeply all the time

   • B) It may not account for quieter, introspective men

   • C) It makes men better leaders

   • D) It is necessary for all inclusion efforts

8. Reflecting on societal trends, Joanne Lockwood suggests some men feel:

   • A) Overrepresented in diversity and inclusion spaces

   • B) Disenfranchised or left out of DEI initiatives

   • C) Indifferent to community and belonging

   • D) Satisfied with the status quo

9. In the context of supporting others, Joanne Lockwood indicates that men often:

   • A) Immediately respond with emotional openness

   • B) Prefer to “fix” problems instead of just listening

   • C) Avoid helping altogether

   • D) Seek frequent group hugs

10. At the close of the episode, Joanne Lockwood encourages listeners to:

    • A) Remain silent and passive

    • B) Subscribe, share the podcast, and reach out with stories and thoughts

    • C) Ignore issues of inclusion and belonging

    • D) Only reflect individually

Answer Key & Rationale

1. B: The host centres the podcast on exploring inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation (00:00:16).

2. C: Joanne Lockwood invites listeners to reach out and share their insights or join conversations (00:00:51).

3. B: She reflects on outdoor adventures and learning from her father as formative experiences (00:02:17).

4. B: Joanne Lockwood frames risk-taking as essential for growth and learning (00:11:09).

5. B: She acknowledges not every man is comfortable with open emotional sharing (00:19:57).

6. B: She compares male groups as transactional and female groups as more emotionally expressive (00:41:43).

7. B: The host notes performative talk can neglect men who are quieter or less likely to speak up (00:19:57).

8. B: She articulates that many men feel left out of or not served by diversity and inclusion efforts (00:49:09).

9. B: She observes that men often want to fix problems rather than simply listen (00:34:09).

10. B: The closing message encourages listeners to subscribe, share, and connect (01:00:04).

Summary Paragraph

Joanne Lockwood uses the Inclusion Bites Podcast to examine themes of inclusion, belonging, and societal change, urging listeners to actively participate by sharing insights and stories. She relates formative experiences of outdoor adventure and risk-taking as vital aspects of personal growth, and highlights that not all men are comfortable with open, emotional conversations—a reality often overlooked by performative well-being initiatives. Joanne Lockwood draws a distinction between the emotionally expressive nature of female group conversations and the more transactional style prevalent in male groups, noting that DEI initiatives can leave some men feeling disenfranchised. She further explores the tendency of men to attempt to fix problems rather than simply listen and underscores the importance of developing inclusive dialogues that engage all voices. Closing the episode, she encourages listeners to subscribe, share, and help drive the ongoing conversation around inclusion and belonging.

Men Beyond Survival

Beneath the grey and whispering trees,
Where wild lochs mirror shifting skies,
Boys once chased their fearless dreams,
With bonfires bright and spirit wise.
The village called, the camps were made,
Old ropes swayed over quarry stone,
In hedgerows, secret treasures laid—
Adventure claimed a world their own.

Yet time reforms the reckless route,
The sons grow tall and walk apart.
A father’s pride and quiet doubt
Find home within a restless heart.
From fearless deeds to evenings slow,
Shared pizzas near the glowing flame,
To letting go and watching grow,
While memories echo each young name.

The world now hums with silent codes,
Screens light faces, not the soul;
Men sit in rooms, where silence goads
A thousand words they leave untold.
Still, solace waits where branches bend,
Outdoors, where circles round fires thrive—
There, hands and shoulders quietly tend,
To those who barely speak to survive.

Flags flutter, stories twist with time,
Identity sought in crowd and clan,
Lost boys drift into bitter rhyme,
Hungry for purpose, meaning, plan.
Some channel rage, some turn away,
While voices loud with simple hate
Fill up the spaces, night and day—
And yet, new bridges can’t be late.

True strength, perhaps, is found revealed
In listening long and showing up;
In letting wounds, once deftly sealed,
Be seen around the midday cup.
Community is forged by deed
Not by words which rarely heal;
The warmth you offer, hands that lead—
Are gifts that let the spirit feel.

So when the dusk ignites the coals,
And kindled hearts exchange their truth,
May kindness spark between all roles,
Men reimagined from their youth.
If these tales set your mind alight,
Invite a friend to take a part;
Subscribe, then share this flame tonight—
Inclusion spreads from heart to heart.

with thanks to [Tom Gold] for a fascinating podcast episode

Key Learning & Takeaway

The episode underscores the critical importance of authentic male connection and community in an age of increasing introspection, digital detachment, and rapidly shifting social narratives. It powerfully advocates for approaches to men's mental health and inclusion that transcend performative dialogue and instead foster practical, non-judgemental spaces—often facilitated by shared purpose and outdoor experiences—where men can find belonging, express vulnerability on their own terms, and redefine what thriving looks like beyond mere survival.

Point #1: Beyond the "Man Code"—Authentic Expression

Societal expectations often pressure men to appear outwardly strong and emotionally closed, adhering to a "Man Code" that suppresses inner struggles. The discussion reveals that true connection emerges when men are offered both the permission and the space to express vulnerability without pressure or stereotype, allowing them to move from survival to growth.

Point #2: Community and Practical Action Over Performative Talk

Many men do not engage in traditional "talking therapies" and may find group conversation uncomfortable. The outdoors, practical tasks, and quietly shared space—such as gathering round a fire—can build trust and foster deeper communication, often without the need for overt emotional discussions. Community is cultivated not solely through words but through shared purpose and presence.

Point #3: Societal Disempowerment and the Search for Belonging

The episode explores how shifts in diversity and inclusion discourse can sometimes inadvertently leave men, particularly white men, feeling excluded from the conversation and disenfranchised. This vacuum is readily exploited by radical or populist figures. Recognising and actively including all identities in the dialogue around inclusion is essential to prevent further social polarisation.

Point #4: The Power of Showing Up—Support is More Than Solutions

Offering solutions to others’ problems is often less meaningful than simple presence and silent support. Moments of non-verbal understanding and non-judgemental solidarity—such as a reassuring hand on the shoulder—can be profoundly impactful. Often, being present and actively listening demonstrates care more effectively than any attempted fix.

Book Outline: Men Beyond Survival

Title Suggestions

1. Men Beyond Survival: Building Brotherhood, Resilience, and Meaning in the Modern World

2. Fireside Reflections: Rediscovering Manhood Through Nature and Connection

3. Beyond the Man Code: Reclaiming Authentic Community and Wellbeing for Men

4. Conquering Silence: Outdoor Journeys into the Heart of Modern Masculinity

5. Embers of Brotherhood: Lessons on Growth, Community, and Mental Strength

Introduction

• Setting the Scene: The disconnect between traditional views of masculinity and the modern man’s yearning for deeper connection and authenticity.

• Purpose and Promise: Exploring men’s mental fitness, brotherhood, and the power of nature-based experiences as pathways for genuine growth and recovery.

Chapter 1: Roots of Adventure and Resilience

Subheadings

• Early Lessons in Risk and Trust

• The Role of Nature in Childhood Development

• Generational Blueprints: Learning from Fathers

Quotes/Examples

• Anecdote: Bonfires, dens, and abseiling on makeshift ropes as rites of passage.

• Reflection on the “Utterly Devoid of Fear” club as a formative blueprint.

Interactive Element

• Reflection prompt: Recalling one's own early memories of risk, adventure, or connection with nature.

Chapter 2: Rewilding Modern Life

Subheadings

• The Screen Divide: Are We Too Detached?

• Mini-Adventures: The Power of Weekend Escapades

• Passing Down Outdoor Wisdom

Quotes/Examples

• Story: Helping a young man in recovery share a pizza campfire experience with his son.

• Notion: "Even one memorable outdoor adventure can be a win."

Supplementary Content

• Suggested diagrams: Contrast between screen time and outdoor activity on wellbeing.

• Tips: Practical ways to reincorporate mini-adventures into busy lives.

Chapter 3: Risk, Growth, and Making Judgement Calls

Subheadings

• Navigating Safety and Fear

• Learning Through Experience, Not Simulation

• The Role of Physical Challenge in Shaping Decision-Making

Quotes/Examples

• Example: The dilemma of letting children explore derelict ruins and the subsequent discussion about safety.

• Observation: Real growth happens at “the edge”—through controlled risk.

Visual Aids

• Chart: The ‘zone of proximal development’ for experiential learning.

Chapter 4: The Myth of the Talkative Man

Subheadings

• Performative Wellbeing and Group Dynamics

• Men’s Groups: Silence, Contribution, and True Presence

• Rethinking “Men Need to Talk More”

Quotes/Examples

• Observation: “Men can be part of the group even in silence, contributing in their way.”

• Story: The moment the silent participant speaks after several sessions, changing the group’s atmosphere.

Interactive Element

• Exercise: Identifying personal comfort zones for sharing or supporting others; alternative modes of contribution.

Chapter 5: The Man Code and Its Discontents

Subheadings

• Unpacking the Man Code: Outward Strength and Inner Silence

• Icons of Stoicism: What History Ignores

• Modern Masculinity under Scrutiny

Quotes/Examples

• Discussion of Peppa Pig’s Daddy Pig and its cultural implications.

• Reflection: “How much greater could achievement be without unaddressed demons?”

Supplementary Content

• Research summary: Outcomes of stoic suppression vs. emotional coherence in men.

Chapter 6: Fireside Alchemy – Nature as a Catalyst

Subheadings

• The Ancient Bond: Fire Circles and Community

• Outdoor Sessions: Practical Rituals for Reconnection

• The Magic of Shared Tasks

Quotes/Examples

• Technique: Creating fire, the group around the fire, and the primal effect on dialogue and self-reflection.

• Anecdote: The learning and joy in practical experimentation, from building fires to cooking and shelter.

Visual Aids

• Diagram: The anatomy of a campfire circle and its function in community building.

Chapter 7: Alone, Together – Brotherhood and Recovery

Subheadings

• Healing Power of Male Community in Recovery

• Mutual Support as a Superpower

• The Value of Ritual, Task, and Recognition

Quotes/Examples

• Realisation: Recovery groups excel at actively supporting each other—“unbeatable and very strong.”

• Example: Empowerment through mastery of outdoor skills and their psychological impact.

Interactive Element

• Case study reflection: How groups can design rituals of inclusion and recognition.

Chapter 8: Beyond Fixing – The Art of Showing Up

Subheadings

• Moving Away from Solution-Orientation

• The Value of Presence and Silent Support

• Generational Notes on Emotional Support

Quotes/Examples

• Story: Father’s silent hand on the shoulder, offering more comfort than words or advice.

• Insight: “Physically showing up is 90% of it.”

Supplementary Content

• Guidelines: Active listening and supportive presence—practical guidance for readers.

Chapter 9: Flags and Fractures – Men, Identity, and Belonging

Subheadings

• Loss of Communal Symbols for Modern Men

• Envy and Exclusion: Flags, Movements, and Masculine Identity

• The Disconnection from DEI Conversations

Quotes/Examples

• Observation: “If we’re not part of the conversation, we’re unlikely to reap any benefits.”

Visual Aids

• Chart: Shifting male identity markers over generations.

Chapter 10: The Rise of the Disenfranchised Male

Subheadings

• Why Radical Voices Resonate

• From Andrew Tate to Incel Movements: What Are Men Seeking?

• The Danger—and Missed Opportunities—of Exclusion

Quotes/Examples

• Analysis: “What is actually being sold is freedom—not just misogyny.”

• Example: Participation in protests, radicalisation through exclusion.

Supplementary Content

• Contemporary research: Emerging right-wing male identity movements—causes and responses.

Chapter 11: The Path Forward – Building New Models of Community and Wellbeing

Subheadings

• Designing Healthy, Inclusive Male Spaces

• Traditions, Rituals, and the Future of Brotherhood

• The Case for Elemental Experiences and Support

Quotes/Examples

• Preview: Retreat example—building fires, physical challenge, group rituals, and intentional reflection as a template for new male gatherings.

Interactive Element

• Action step: Blueprint for creating an elemental male retreat or community group.

Conclusion

• Synthesis: Reinforces that true resilience and thriving require more than survival—they demand honest connection to others, oneself, and the natural world.

• Call to Action: Invites readers to seek or build their own communities, embrace vulnerability and presence, and challenge the status quo of masculine silence.

• Reflection Questions: What small steps can you take to reconnect—either through nature, brotherhood, or meaningful participation in your community?

Feedback Loop & Refinement

• Expert Review: Encourage collaboration with mental health professionals, outdoor facilitators, and male peer groups for content accuracy and relevance.

• Test Readers: Solicit feedback from men across diverse backgrounds to ensure resonance.

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1: Roots of Adventure and Resilience

Explores the foundational experiences that shape a man’s view of risk, trust, and growth, anchored in childhood adventure and the lessons passed down through generations.

Chapter 2: Rewilding Modern Life

Examines the challenge of modern, screen-centric living, advocating a revival of regular, small-scale adventures to build memories and skills.

Chapter 3: Risk, Growth, and Making Judgement Calls

Unpacks the necessity of risk and challenge, differentiating real experience from simulation, and highlighting how such moments develop judgement and resilience.

Chapter 4: The Myth of the Talkative Man

Debunks the stereotype that openness must mean talking, offering diverse ways men participate in and benefit from supportive groups.

Chapter 5: The Man Code and Its Discontents

Dismantles the harmful aspects of stoic masculinity, exploring how outward strength often conceals inner turmoil, and what is lost by not embracing emotional honesty.

Chapter 6: Fireside Alchemy – Nature as a Catalyst

Shows how ancient communal practices around fire can be potent spaces for reflection, healing, and genuine conversation.

Chapter 7: Alone, Together – Brotherhood and Recovery

Focuses on the transformative power of supportive male communities, especially in recovery contexts, where mutual aid and recognition flourish.

Chapter 8: Beyond Fixing – The Art of Showing Up

Discusses the importance of presence over solutions, illustrating how support often manifests in shared silence and non-verbal gestures of care.

Chapter 9: Flags and Fractures – Men, Identity, and Belonging

Interrogates modern crises of masculine identity and multiculturally-driven exclusion, considering what men have lost in terms of shared symbols and community.

Chapter 10: The Rise of the Disenfranchised Male

Analyses why some men are drawn to radical voices, what messages resonate, and what opportunities are missed when these men are excluded from mainstream dialogues.

Chapter 11: The Path Forward – Building New Models of Community and Wellbeing

Offers practical frameworks and rituals for rekindling brotherhood, resilience, and authentic wellbeing—rooted in ancient traditions and contemporary need.

Conclusion

Synthesises the journey from survival to thriving, and challenges readers to reconsider what brotherhood, adventure, and self-acceptance mean in their lives.

This outline transforms the guest’s reflections on upbringing, adversity, masculine identity, and outdoor facilitation into a cohesive, thematic, and actionable structure suitable for a book that merges memoir, self-help, and social commentary.

Maxims for Men Beyond Survival

1. Seek Growth Outside Your Comfort Zone
   True development lies in facing risks, embracing challenge, and learning from failure.

2. Nurture Bonds Through Shared Experience
   Engage in purposeful activities—outdoors or otherwise—to build meaningful memories and lasting connections.

3. Trust Is Built Through Consistent Presence
   Show up for others, especially when words fail; sometimes silent support carries the greatest meaning.

4. Embrace the Power of Community
   Belonging is not found in isolation but fostered in groups, through both action and affirmed mutual support.

5. Let Stillness and Nature Reset Your Mind
   A return to natural spaces offers clarity, calm, and a sense of renewal—never underestimate the worth of time outdoors.

6. Value Listening Above Fixing
   Listen actively and without judgement; solutions are not always sought—sometimes, being heard is enough.

7. Honour the Wisdom of Simple Gestures
   Respect that not all connections are made through conversation—actions, presence, or a gentle touch often say more.

8. Balance Independence With Support
   Encourage self-reliance, but always let loved ones know your support is unwavering, even as roles evolve.

9. Challenge Performative Expectations
   Eschew pressure to talk or act a certain way; authenticity matters more than performance or adherence to stereotypes.

10. Acknowledge and Process Feelings—In Your Own Way
    Emotional strength includes making peace with your vulnerabilities, regardless of whether you choose to vocalise them.

11. Respect Each Person’s Approach to Community
    Some find solace in silence, others in conversation; contribution need not always be verbal.

12. Create Space for Reflection and Reminiscence
    Cherish shared moments but recognise when it is time to let others move forward, carrying those lessons with them.

13. Build Confidence Through Mastery of Simple Skills
    The ability to provide, create, and sustain—whether by lighting a fire or supporting others—builds self-worth and resilience.

14. Guard Against Trivialising Serious Matters
    Treat history and sacrifice—your own and others’—with respect, fostering understanding rather than desensitisation.

15. Recognise When to Step Back From Advice
    Discern when someone seeks guidance versus when they simply need a listening ear or reassurance.

16. Connect Through Meaningful Rituals
    Shared traditions—a campfire, a meal, a small celebration—anchor community and restore a sense of belonging.

17. Resist Outsourcing Identity to Outdated Codes
    Examine inherited social scripts critically; choose which ideals serve your flourishing and discard those that do not.

18. Champion Support Over Stoicism
    Strength and openness are not mutually exclusive; balance courage with compassion for yourself and those around you.

19. Find Purpose in Helping Others Thrive
    Recognise the fulfilment in enabling others to grow, overcome adversity, and celebrate small victories together.

20. Believe that Reconnection Is Always Possible
    However far one travels from their beginnings or community, reclaiming a sense of belonging and contentment remains within reach.

Men Beyond Survival | Fostering Connection, Resilience & Community | Inclusion Bites Podcast

Unlock the heart of inclusive masculinity, mental fitness, and the transformative power of the outdoors with Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood, host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast. This episode is a must-watch for HR professionals, Diversity & Inclusion advocates, mental health champions, and anyone committed to building a stronger, more inclusive community for men and beyond.

⏰ Timestamps

00:00 – Introduction and podcast vision
01:14 – Meet Tom Gold: Bushcraft, coaching, and the power of nature
03:09 – The influence of upbringing and outdoor adventure
06:02 – Risk, resilience, and learning in youth
08:37 – The value of outdoor fatherhood and building memories
10:08 – Navigating danger, trust, and judgement
11:43 – Growth through challenge and responsible risk
13:12 – Gaming, history, and trivialising trauma
14:34 – Addressing youth violence and social interventions
15:22 – Parenting boys through crisis and transition to adulthood
19:26 – Performative wellbeing and men’s group dynamics
20:08 – Silence, participation, and belonging in men’s spaces
22:13 – The ‘Man Code’, vulnerability, and breaking stereotypes
25:06 – Bushcraft as a path to mental health and connection
28:50 – Fire, community, and the power of shared experience
32:42 – Therapeutic benefits for people in recovery
34:01 – Active listening vs. ‘fixing’
36:41 – Silent support, non-verbal solidarity, and generational masculinity
41:43 – Gendered conversation patterns and group identity
44:44 – Disenfranchisement, identity, and flags
49:37 – Are men left out of D&I conversations?
52:16 – The appeal of Andrew Tate and the search for belonging
55:15 – Responding to male disenfranchisement and populism
56:23 – Upcoming men’s retreat: real community, real growth
58:09 – Connect with Tom Gold online
59:18 – Closing thoughts and call to action

In This Episode

Discover how real-life bushcraft and the great outdoors are forging meaningful spaces for men’s mental health and inclusive community. Tom Gold shares practical experiences that extend beyond performative wellbeing, highlighting the profound effects of nature-based coaching, campfire circles, and shared physical tasks on trust and resilience. The episode explores:

• Fatherhood and formative adventure: Insights into generational learning, risk-taking, and the formative power of outdoor exploration.

• Balancing safety and growth: How calculated risk and honest reflection fuel personal and emotional development.

• Men's mental health: The challenges of vulnerability, ‘man code’ stereotypes, and why “talking more” isn’t always the solution.

• Community and belonging: The unique value of male-only spaces and non-verbal support in building resilience and combating loneliness.

• Cultural currents: The allure of modern populist figures (Andrew Tate, incel movements), loss of male identity, and finding healthy alternatives for connection and purpose.

• Actionable takeaways: How to create supportive environments, listen without ‘fixing’, and use simple outdoor activities to foster trust and skill-building.

Tom Gold and Joanne Lockwood provide nuanced guidance for anyone invested in men’s wellbeing, whether you’re seeking new leadership approaches, designing D&I strategies, or supporting friends and family.

Why Watch?

Whether you’re a men's group facilitator, business leader, clinician, or parent, this episode will sharpen your understanding of what fosters real connection and mental fitness in men. Learn why open campfires—and open minds—are vital to transforming inclusion from policy to lived experience. Gain practical methods to help men move beyond mere survival into genuine flourishing and purpose.

Get Involved

• Subscribe for more bold, disruptive Inclusion Bites conversations

• Comment below with your experiences or questions about men’s wellbeing and belonging

• Visit our website: seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen for resources, past episodes, and to join the conversation

Hashtags

#MensWellbeing #MentalFitness #InclusionMatters #Bushcraft #Belonging #GenderInclusion #CommunityBuilding #OutdoorsTherapy #DiversityAndInclusion #Resilience #MenBeyondSurvival

Transform your understanding of male inclusion—watch now and join a community igniting real change.

Men Beyond Survival: Rethinking Male Belonging and Vulnerability

Do we truly make space for every voice in our inclusion conversations—or are some groups quietly left at the edges? As professionals championing inclusive cultures, it’s easy to overlook the silent stories, especially those shaped by traditional masculinity. What does it mean for men, particularly those disengaged from the usual vocal discourse, to move beyond survival and genuinely belong?

This question sits at the heart of our latest Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, "Men Beyond Survival," where I explore masculinity, mental fitness, and relational connection with the remarkable Tom Gold—a bushcraft instructor and life coach who has dedicated his work to helping men thrive in body, mind, and spirit, out in the wilds and beyond the limits of performative wellbeing.

Lighting the Fire: What It Really Means to Belong

In my conversation with Tom Gold, we travel from the muddy fields of childhood adventure to the emotional landscapes that so many men quietly navigate. Our dialogue touches on the changing nature of fatherhood, the importance of risk and trust, and the subtle, often overlooked, rituals of male bonding that foster solidarity and resilience.

For those working in HR, D&I, Talent, or L&D, this episode is especially pertinent:

• How do we create cultures where men feel able to participate without feeling forced to overshare, yet are welcomed to connect on their own terms?

• What risks do we run if we push for performative vulnerability while inadvertently denying space for unspoken, non-verbal connection?

• And how can organisations respond to the needs of men who feel increasingly disenfranchised by mainstream inclusion efforts?

Tom Gold brings a unique perspective, both as a practitioner in the outdoors and as a father, weaving his lived experience with stories from his men’s groups, his work in addiction recovery, and his personal reflections on change and growth.

Building Bridges: From Survival to True Connection

Here’s what stood out most powerfully from this episode:

1. Not All Support Looks Alike

Tom Gold reminded me that many men find connection not through “talking it out,” but through shoulder-to-shoulder activity—be it chopping wood, cooking over an open fire, or quietly sitting together. Silence itself can be bonding, laden with understanding and trust. As workplace leaders, it’s vital we honour these less obvious forms of connection and create spaces for quiet belonging.

2. The Dangers of the ‘Man Code’

A recurring thread in our discussion was what Tom calls “the Man Code”—the cultural script urging men to project strength, keep emotions close, and only show up with solutions. It has, historically, facilitated male resilience, but at the cost of emotional health, help-seeking, and sometimes even happiness. As Tom asks: if suppressing vulnerability has enabled survival, what could men achieve if given permission to move beyond it?

3. Risk, Resilience, and Growth

Our conversation returned again and again to the formative role of risk. Tom's childhood stories of “UDF Club” (Utterly Devoid of Fear) adventure days reminded me how safe, managed risk teaches resilience, judgment, and self-belief—qualities vital not just for young boys but for adults navigating the uncertainties of modern working life. How can we build cultures where calculated risk is a path to growth, rather than something to be policed out of existence?

4. The Need for Community—Not Just Conversation

Men’s groups, as Tom describes them, often succeed not because members disclose their deepest worries, but because they "show up" for each other—through presence, small gestures, practical support. Encouraging men to talk is useful, but equally powerful is nurturing settings (yes, even round a campfire) where being together is enough.

5. Addressing Disenfranchisement Head-On

We also tackled uncomfortable truths: the growing sense of disenfranchisement amongst some men, particularly white men, in inclusion spaces. Tom highlighted how far-right influencers like Andrew Tate and movements such as the “incel” community fill the vacuum left by mainstream workplaces that fail to offer belonging or acknowledge changing gendered identities. Our challenge, as DEI practitioners, is to repair this breach—ensuring that inclusion is neither a zero-sum game nor an exclusive club.

Into the Flames: A Fresh Lens on Vulnerability

Before you listen, I invite you to watch this brief, poignant audiogram—a window into the unspoken depths of the episode. Click here to watch the audiogram for a moment of real vulnerability, as Tom Gold and I discuss how presence and quiet solidarity can mean more than a thousand words ever could.

Join the Conversation

Ready to challenge your assumptions and discover new strategies for engaging men in your organisation? Listen to the full episode here and consider sharing it within your professional networks—whether you’re an HR partner shaping your policies, a Talent or L&D leader mentoring male colleagues, or just curious to approach male belonging from a fresh perspective.

If this episode sparks a thought or a question, I’d love to hear from you—drop me a line at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and let’s keep the dialogue going.

Fanning the Embers: What Will You Do Next?

As we reflect on what it means for men to move “beyond survival” and genuinely belong, I leave you with this: If silence, presence, and adventure can facilitate male connection, how can you reimagine belonging in your context—so every voice, spoken or unspoken, is welcomed round your organisation’s campfire?

Until we meet again by the fireside, let’s keep nurturing cultures where everyone truly belongs.

Warmly,

Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen

Stay Connected

• YouTube – Explore more episode insights.

• TikTok – Catch bite-size inclusion thought-starters.

• LinkedIn – Join me for inclusive conversations.

• Website – Learn how SEE Change Happen can support your organisation’s journey.

What will your next step towards building genuine community and belonging look like?

Men Don’t Need Fixing—But They Deserve Better

There’s a quiet myth lurking just beneath the noise of public discourse: that men are somehow complete, insulated, defaulting to fine, needing neither permission nor support to thrive. That myth is nonsense. My journey, both as a bushcraft instructor and life coach, has taught me that many men are surviving—but few are living fully, and even fewer are seen for who they are beneath the surface. We must move past performative gestures and into the territory of real connection, where belonging and vulnerability can genuinely coexist with strength.

That’s why I welcomed the chance to sit down with Joanne Lockwood on her Inclusion Bites Podcast. The deeper we went, the more it became clear: society’s construct of male well-being is unsatisfying, incomplete, and—crucially—excludes a vast swathe of men who neither want nor need fixing, but do want to belong.

Daring to Disrupt the Conversation on Inclusion

What drew me to this conversation with Joanne Lockwood wasn’t just her reputation as a trailblazer for inclusion. It was that she doesn’t shy away from uncomfortable truths. She pulls back the curtain not to judge but to force us—and herself—to see what’s been hiding in plain sight.

Jo founded SEE Change Happen and has carved out a unique space as a champion of belonging. Her Inclusion Bites Podcast pulls together change-makers from every walk of life. She’s not afraid to challenge the status quo or make listeners uncomfortable if it means moving closer to genuine societal transformation.

More than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.

Boys, Adventure, and the Blueprint of Trust

Every journey into nature carries echoes of my childhood. I learned bushcraft not from a manual but from my father—the original adventurer in a Northamptonshire village. My earliest lessons were not about comfort but about the edge; not about safety, but trust. We’d build dens, paddle leaky inflatable canoes through canal tunnels, and abseil quarries on jury-rigged ropes—always flirting with disaster but knowing, somehow, Dad wouldn’t let things spiral out of control.

Why does that matter now? Because it shaped how I see risk, growth, and the importance of letting children—especially boys—stretch beyond their assumed boundaries. When Joanne Lockwood asked whether we do enough of that today, I had to admit: we don’t. Digital screens and health-and-safety culture have dulled some of those rites of passage, but that doesn’t mean adventure should be a relic. I’ve tried to recreate that spirit for my own sons, and in my work with young people and fathers. You don’t have to summit Everest—a Saturday morning fire, marshmallows toasted, and a few muddy trainers can forge far stronger memories than a pristine living room ever will.

Joanne Lockwood reflected on how her own children remember camping trips best—not the neat, domesticated time at home, but the moments closer to danger and dirt. “I think kids just need to have that outdoor experience where they are closer to the edge and not cocooned,” she said. I couldn’t agree more. If we do not enable young people—especially boys—to test limits under the watchful eye of care, we deprive them of both courage and discernment. They need to know when to press on, and when it’s time to turn back—judgement calls that only real experience can hone.

The Problem with “Men Need to Talk”

There’s a cultural narrative that goes something like this: men are their own worst enemies because they refuse to open up. The refrain echoes from workplace corridors to corporate DEI campaigns: “Men need to talk more.” It’s earnest, but it’s also incomplete. In fact, it can be actively unhelpful.

When I run men’s groups, whether as explicit support circles or through outdoor bushcraft sessions, I see the truth: many men don’t want to talk, at least not in the way modern support frameworks insist upon. They want to contribute, belong, and—when the time is right—perhaps speak up. Some will quietly split logs or tend the fire for an entire session, and that’s not a failure. It’s an expression of agency and dignity. The expectations for emotional transparency can unintentionally become another performative box, and men do not benefit from being squeezed into it.

Joanne Lockwood’s pushback on this was spot on: some forms of “openness” are inherently alien to certain personalities or upbringings. We must be careful not to conflate silence with disconnection. Sometimes, being part of a group, doing the work, and knowing you are seen is enough—at least for now.

Then there’s the wider stereotype problem, perpetuated even by popular children’s programmes—think Daddy Pig from Peppa Pig—the archetype of the well-meaning, useless dad. It’s a cartoonish reduction, but its impact is real. “Pushing that image gives men permission to opt out, to buy into the same narrative that diminishes them,” I explained. The unspoken Man Code—always project strength, always say you’re fine, keep the lid nailed shut—arises not only from within, but is confirmed by the messages society sends back.

There’s a deeper historical pattern too: many of our so-called greats—Edwardian explorers, wartime heroes—achieved while concealing profound struggles. What might they have done if they’d been less consumed by their own internal battles? Achievement and emotional coherence are not mutually exclusive. The capacity to stay strong while also finding peace with one’s vulnerabilities is, I believe, the next frontier for male mental health.

Fireside Community: Returning to Our Roots

There’s a primordial comfort in gathering round a fire. I’ve seen men who wouldn’t say a word in a sterile meeting room become quietly thoughtful, even unexpectedly philosophical, as sparks flick skyward and the crackle of flames draws the group closer. Our ancestors circled fires for 400,000 years—far longer than we’ve gathered anywhere else. This isn't nostalgia—it's lived anthropology. When men form a circle around a fire, something in the human genome stirs. Nobody needs to be told how to sit, or when to hold silence.

Outdoors, men can do—rather than simply talk—while their edges soften. Tending to flames, cooking, solving small, practical problems together. Triumph, when it comes, is tangible: you’ve kept the fire burning, boiled the kettle, built something with your hands. And if it’s the first win you’ve had in months, or even years, the impact is profound. For those on the margins—men recovering from addiction or loneliness—mastering these ancient skills is an act not just of survival, but of reclamation. I’ve seen men go from participants to leaders within a single afternoon, and the positive reinforcement, the camaraderie, matters far more than any checklist of feelings shared. The community precedes the confession.

Joanne Lockwood recalled her own nights round campfires, laughing at how quickly a gathering can turn into an impromptu experiment in pyromania. “It’s a real elemental, primaeval draw for light, safety, protection, and cooking. All these needs come together,” she mused. It’s not always tidy. Nor does it need to be. The important thing is that we are drawn together, not forced apart by social norms that don’t make sense in the wild.

Men Don’t Want to Be Fixed—They Want to Be Heard

There’s an insidious pressure for every emotional disclosure to be met with a solution. Too often, men’s conversations collapse under the weight of unsolicited advice. When my youngest son was in real difficulty, I received plenty of earnest suggestions—almost none of which helped. What I craved most wasn’t a fix, but a companion willing to sit with the discomfort, to show up and listen without trying to direct.

Active listening, and the dignity of simply being present, are undervalued currencies. Sometimes a silent hand on the shoulder is worth a thousand words. My own father—who himself grew up in the shadow of war and austere expectations—once found me adrift in my garage, overwhelmed and frozen by the reality of solo parenthood. He didn’t offer advice; he just stood by me. That form of solidarity, as Joanne Lockwood observed, is a “knowing silence”—a mutual recognition that needs no language.

We delude ourselves that male support is impoverished compared to how women relate. In truth, the gestures are often simpler, stitched together by history, context, and non-verbal reassurance. Watch footage—such as the “This Is Your Life” reunion between Douglas Bader and his fellow wartime pilots—and the power is not in the words exchanged, but in the silent clasp of hands, the tilt of the head, and the unspoken confirmation: I see you, I’m still here, and you are not alone.

In female-dominated groups, as Joanne Lockwood described from her own journey through gender transition, vulnerability often swims in the open. In male circles, it’s more likely submerged, made visible only in rare, oblique flashes. There’s value in both. Crucially, we must not force translation from one language to another. Each gendered pattern has its own coherence; our job is to protect—and where needed, gently expand—the boundaries of both.

Disenfranchisement and the Allure of False Belonging

Much has been made in recent years of men losing their sense of place. You can see the evidence in the rise of online movements—incels, right-wing populism, the seductive promises of personalities like Andrew Tate or Tommy Robinson. What binds these together beneath the surface is not primarily racism, misogyny, or politics, but hunger for belonging. When no one speaks to you, you listen to whoever does.

The flag debates—St George’s Cross in England, the saltire in Scotland, Union Jacks alike—are fractured symbols of a void. In my own village, men stop to chat beneath flags more often to simply feel they’re part of something. Joanne Lockwood was blunt: “It’s very hard to engage the average, typical white man in conversations about belonging.” It’s not hard to see why—most DEI initiatives, rightly or wrongly, are tailored to everyone but them. If a white, straight man feels nothing in the narrative around diversity is for him, why would he lean in? Why show up in rooms where his existence is either taken for granted or painted as the problem?

There’s an assumption that the white man is fine. Look closer and you’ll see a different reality—men expected to show up as allies, carry the burdens of family, absorb the pressures of work, and ask for nothing. The truth is, many are closer to sinking than thriving.

The solution won’t come from adding another corporate seminar or self-help group. It comes through examining why men are being left behind, and what vacuums we’ve allowed to form. These vacuums get filled by the likes of Tate—not because men are lining up for misogyny, but because someone is willing to tell them they have agency, worth, and a set of steps towards meaning. The greater danger is in misunderstanding this appeal; if we dismiss it as mere bigotry or backwardness, we give it more power.

Reclaiming Community, Agency, and a Place to Stand

So what does it take to bring men back from the edge of mere survival toward lives of substance? It starts with belonging—but not the kind bought with slogans or shallow performances. Men need real, tangible wins and the dignity of agency. That might be building a campfire, completing a hike, surviving a night in the woods, or simply being accepted in silence.

The approach must be practical: create spaces where community is implicit, participation is voluntary, and doing is valued as highly as talking. In Scotland, the right of access to wild spaces is a gift—one I use in my retreats and group outings. Here, men relearn the art of presence, competence, and reflection. We chop wood, swim in lochs, climb hills, and—sometimes—watch an old Schwarzenegger film, laughing at how ridiculous and enjoyable the collision of alpha egos can be.

This isn’t regression. It is reclamation. A chance to gather in authentic community, honouring both independence and connection, offering the space for vulnerability to be chosen—not demanded.

The Spark at the Centre

At the centre of every fire lies a spark; I believe there’s one in every man’s story too. Strength and vulnerability aren’t rivals—they’re partners. You can project power and still crave community. You can hold pain and not need to be fixed—just heard, respected, and included.

Too often, society offers men only the binary: suffer in silence, or emote on command. There is a sweeping landscape between these two, but only if we dare to build spaces that respect how men grow and grieve, celebrate and reflect.

As long as we keep talking, not about but with one another—around actual fires or metaphorical ones—we’ll have a shot at moving men, and the communities they sustain, beyond survival and into something far richer.

Have you found that elusive spark? Have you struggled to belong, or been tempted by those who promised quick meaning? I’d love to hear—frankly and unvarnished—your own experiences. The conversation shouldn’t end here.

[Title
Men Beyond Survival]

[Synopsis
Episode 205 — Inspired by “Men Beyond Survival,” this song delves into the real, often unspoken journeys of men searching for meaning, healing, and community in a world of shifting identities. Drawing from outdoors wisdom and the elemental power of a fire, it’s an anthem for letting go of performative strength and choosing honest connection. Grounded and emotionally direct, the track balances rawness with hope, urging us all to step out from behind the mask.]

[Vibe
Steady, gentle indie pop/alt-country blend. Acoustic guitar drives warmth; subtle lap steel, ambient pads and sunlit piano add depth. Female lead vocals, close harmonies, and organic percussion. A steady build from intimate reflection to broad, uplifting chorus, before a poignant, open-hearted bridge. Ends with fading campfire sounds and a resonant, hopeful final chorus.]

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
The cold wakes up with me, northern air on my skin,
Every scar and story written somewhere deep within.
We light a fire out back, let old hurt crackle and burn,
Somewhere between silence and smoke,
We take turns to learn.

[Instrumental – Light acoustic guitar, soft percussive brush, faint sparks of steel guitar]

[Verse 2]
There’s wisdom in the worry, in the weight we never speak,
We chop wood, let the splinters tell what words just can’t complete.
It’s not heroic — just honest,
Build a place for the quiet kind.
Don’t need to fix each other,
Just stay side by side.

[Pre-Chorus]
Isn’t it strange, all that’s passed down and bottled up?
Who told us survival was enough?

[Chorus]
You can rest your armour now,
Leave that Man Code in the flame.
Here around this circle, you belong —
You’re seen, you’re not strange.
When the night gets heavy and the world forgets your name,
There’s room for you beside me —
You’re not alone in the rain.

[Instrumental Break – Atmospheric pads, gentle electric riff, heartbeat kick drum]

[Verse 3]
Stacked storms behind the eyes, uncried tears in the dark,
Every win, every worry,
All become embers when we start.
Let’s make the journey out from silent pain,
No need to walk it on your own again.

[Bridge]
You don’t have to break to be brave,
Let’s build something good with bare hands and mistakes.
Even the quiet ones, even those that never say,
They matter just the same —
Let’s carry that weight.

[Chorus – Double Chorus, lifted]
You can rest your armour now,
Leave that Man Code in the flame.
Here around this circle, you belong —
You’re seen, you’re not strange.
When the night gets heavy and the world forgets your name,
There’s room for you beside me —
You’re not alone in the rain.

You can rest, you can breathe,
You can speak or just be.
By firelight and friendship’s grace,
You find your way back to peace.

[Instrumental/Fade Out – Campfire, soft guitar arpeggio, distant laughter, vocals gently echo: “You’re not alone in the rain…”]

In the Inclusion Bites episode “Men Beyond Survival,” Tom Gold, a bushcraft instructor and life coach, explores masculine well-being, the limitations of performative allyship, and the societal pressures that inhibit men’s authentic participation in mental health and DEI conversations.

Here is a distilled summary of core concepts and key insights for easy learning:

1. Nature, Adventure and Emotional Growth

• Experiential Learning: Skills, confidence, and trust form through shared outdoor challenges, risk-taking, and adventure—not in cocooned safety.

• Nature as Reset: Time spent outdoors offers a grounding, restorative effect and provides a setting for growth, reflection, and resilience-building.

2. The Limits and Need for Men’s Conversation

• Performative Openness: Societal calls for men to “open up” can be counterproductive; not all men want to partake in vulnerable dialogue or group emotional sharing.

• Alternative Engagement: Men may participate through action (e.g., wood-chopping, fire-making), community, and silence rather than direct self-disclosure.

• Community Precedes Conversation: Trust and safety must be established through inclusive, non-judgemental settings before meaningful sharing can occur.

3. The “Man Code” and Stereotypes

• Cultural Narratives: Outdated tropes paint men as stoic, emotionally unavailable, and “useless” domestically, giving permission for disengagement from growth and care.

• Man Code: A social script to project strength, claim to be ‘fine’, and avoid discussing internal struggles—reinforced by historical role models and cultural expectations.

• Cost of Conformance: While this code brings short-term social survival, its maintenance carries long-term costs (isolation, mental health strain, missed potential).

4. Community, Friendship and Belonging

• Male Community Decline: Modern men report fewer close friendships and reduced male spaces, leading to diminishing support networks.

• Practicality over Performance: Men’s groups thrive on activity, not “group hugs” or role-play; practical tasks foster rapport and shared achievement.

• Presence over Solutions: Listening, showing up, and silent solidarity are often more valuable than unsolicited advice or attempts to ‘fix’ each other.

5. Disenfranchisement and Identity

• Invisibility in DEI: Straight white men often feel excluded within DEI narratives, with allyship expected but support rarely offered in return.

• Belonging Gap: The lack of identity symbols (flags, movements) leaves some men susceptible to divisive ideologies (e.g., incel movements, far-right figures), seeking community and validation elsewhere.

• Influence and Vulnerability: Figures like Andrew Tate or Tommy Robinson attract through messages of autonomy and respect—addressing genuine unmet needs for belonging and significance.

Summary Table: Core Concepts—Men, Nature, and Belonging

Key Takeaway: Fostering mental fitness in men involves action as much as words—practical, communal, and nature-connected approaches build belonging and resilience. Masculinity needs new spaces and scripts, not just demands for vulnerability.

205,Men Beyond Survival,,,,,,,,Joanne Lockwood,Tom Gold,"An exploration of men's wellbeing and authentic connection through nature, adventure, and honest conversation.","Joanne Lockwood welcomes Tom Gold, a bushcraft instructor and life coach, to discuss what it means for men to move 'beyond survival.' They reflect on formative childhood experiences, intergenerational outdoor adventures, and how these shape trust, resilience, and connection. The episode probes whether contemporary society offers enough space for risk-taking, learning from failure, and developing authentic male relationships. Tom shares insights from his work with men recovering from addiction, illustrating the transformative power of nature-based activities to foster community and purpose.

Together, they challenge the narrative that men must always speak about emotions in prescriptive ways, highlighting the nuanced value of presence, active listening, and non-verbal support within men's groups. The conversation critically examines the impact of performative wellbeing initiatives, the trope of the emotionally incompetent man, and why figures like Andrew Tate resonate with some disenfranchised men. In their exchange, Jo and Tom confront discomfort around modern masculinity, belonging, and why inclusive spaces must ensure that no one—including the stereotypically 'fine' man—is left behind.",,,,Mental Health, Wellbeing & Trauma,"Psychological Safety, Belonging, Authenticity, Community & Connection, Resilience","Mental Health & Wellbeing",Wellbeing & Resilience,"E205 – Men Beyond Survival",https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen,'E205 – Men Beyond Survival | An exploration of men's wellbeing and authentic connection through nature, adventure, and honest conversation. | Joanne Lockwood welcomes Tom Gold, a bushcraft instructor and life coach, to discuss what it means for men to move 'beyond survival.' They reflect on formative childhood experiences, intergenerational outdoor adventures, and how these shape trust, resilience, and connection. The episode probes whether contemporary society offers enough space for risk-taking, learning from failure, and developing authentic male relationships. Tom shares insights from his work with men recovering from addiction, illustrating the transformative power of nature-based activities to foster community and purpose.

Together, they challenge the narrative that men must always speak about emotions in prescriptive ways, highlighting the nuanced value of presence, active listening, and non-verbal support within men's groups. The conversation critically examines the impact of performative wellbeing initiatives, the trope of the emotionally incompetent man, and why figures like Andrew Tate resonate with some disenfranchised men. In their exchange, Jo and Tom confront discomfort around modern masculinity, belonging, and why inclusive spaces must ensure that no one—including the stereotypically 'fine' man—is left behind.',