Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a world where everyone not only belongs but thrives? You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo, and share stories that resonate deep within. Ready to dive in? Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect, and inspire action together. Don't forget,
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The Power of Honest Storytelling
The Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Power of Honest Storytelling
JL
Speaker
Joanne Lockwood
NE
Speaker
Nick Elston
00:00 Living Beyond Historical Narratives 07:27 "Sharing Stories: Value Over Experience" 11:59 Amplifying Voices, Bridging Gender Gaps 17:21 "Resilience and Sensitivity in Toxic Spaces" 24:30 Protecting Mental Health of Advocates 29:33 Reframing Disability and Self-Perception 33:08 Obsessive Compulsive Patterns and Anxiety 41:03 Engaging Others Despite Challenges 47:03 Reassurance and OCD…
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Highlights
“speaking without the filter, speaking with authenticity and vulnerability, and why has that been hugely hijacked since, to be fair? It builds a bridge of trust and connection and depth with people far more than any superficial message were ever trained to deliver in professional environments for sure.”
“The Power and Pitfalls of Personal Narratives: "If you keep telling that story, it becomes all of you. If you don't care for it, you end up living in the past because often these stories are historical.”
“The Reality of Audience Engagement: "No one cares as much as we think they do. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, that you could be the most exciting a list celebrity, but after fifteen minutes of talking to an audience, they're gonna wanna know what's in it for them.”
“The Power of Shared Vulnerability: "But now I meet people, and I understand marginalization.”
“The common fact factor for me is belonging, And it's essentially kind of a big reason why I do what I do now is that it affects our sense of belonging enough to feel that we're marginalized enough to not have a platform, to not have a voice, to not feel that we can step up.”
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of the conversation too. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your insights or to join me on the show. So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites.
And today is episode 160 with the title, the power of honest storytelling. I like it. Absolute honor and privilege to welcome Nick Elston. Nick is a keynote speaker, a transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. And he's dedicated to empowering individuals to embrace their voice, share their stories, and foster meaningful connections through authentic communication. When I asked Nick to describe his superpower, he said that it is turning vulnerability into a powerful tool for connection and transformation. Hello, Nick. Welcome to the show.
Hey, Joe. It's great to be here. Thank you for asking me.
Yeah. And we were just chatting just now, and, we worked out that we'd, we both write for HR's own and ask how how we connected.
Yeah. We do. Great publication, and great to have met you along the way as well. 18, we worked out from the from the LinkedIn connection buttons. A long time in the making, but I sure will make this worth it.
We'll figure it out. Yes. I I think back in the early days when I I just started in this field, I was clicking and connect on everybody that you can find. So, yeah, there's probably a
Well, I'm gonna pop you a random button.
Yeah. I now use AI tools too for me, so I don't have to worry about it.
Yeah. Yeah.
We've called this episode the power of honest storytelling and, you know, looking at your what you do and your superpower. How is the the storytelling being built for you, and what's the authenticity and the vulnerability? Yeah. Yeah. How do you use that as a strength?
I think for me, it comes from my own my own personal journey. So for context, the the nutshell version, I have mental illness. I have obsessive compulsive disorder, which largely is managed nowadays, but I developed it back in my childhood. And as I got older, left pretty much untreated because I am that old. It was wasn't something that was treated the way it would be now. It then morphed into something called generalized anxiety disorder or GAD. And as I got older, it started to kind of really take over my life. In my professional career, I was running for around a decade at a really high state of burnout.
And then I had a breakdown in 02/2012. And it was at that point I started to use speaking as a therapy. And what I found was, being able to share your experiences and your story and your thoughts and your insights. And bearing in mind, I did this initially in a professional environment. We didn't do that in 02/2012. What I found was, despite what you hear on the news and popular media and social media, humans are essentially good. Go figure. Who knew? Humans do wanna support you if you only tell them what you need.
And what I found was by sharing my experiences with them in a, again, in a professional environment, people started sharing their stuff with me. And I think for me, that's kinda where I learned that speaking without the filter, speaking with authenticity and vulnerability, and why has that been hugely hijacked since, to be fair? It builds a bridge of trust and connection and depth with people far more than any superficial message were ever trained to deliver in professional environments for sure. That's where it started for me. I started to speak more and more about my experiences. The rooms got bigger. The audiences got bigger. I started to travel the world doing this stuff, and the rest, they say, is history. But along the way, and in this spirit of honesty, you can only spend so long speaking about your story, especially professionally when it really took off before your story starts to own you again.
And that's when I started to coach other people to share their stories. And that's really what's thrown me into the world that you operate in, into the realm of other people's experiences and how we can be defined by those stories as a negative force, or actually we they can be a catalyst for positive change, and that's where it started for me.
I hear you what you're saying there in terms of if you keep telling that story, it becomes all of you. If you don't care for it, you end up living in the past because often these stories are historical. And there's a an old adage, isn't it? You speak from the scar, not from the wound, so you have to be kind of in a good place to talk about it. Yep. But I I go through phases of of telling my story, my journey, my canon, if you like, you know, where I came from and how I'm who I am, who I am. And over time, if you're not careful, it it does. It drags you back ten years. And sometimes it's hard to remember the story of the inaccuracy, so you have to use a facsimile of your story that is relevant to the audience without necessarily being the whole truth and nothing about the truth.
A good illustration, and you're pulling out key points, aren't you? So You're That's the challenge for people, I guess.
It is a challenge. And don't get me wrong. I still very much use my platform, whether it be from the stage or from writing, as therapy. It makes HR people very nervous, but it's very real. I will share what's going through my head right now in front of a live audience. I think it's a really healthy thing. But that being said, as you say, actually, the further you come away from your story, your experiences, especially if it's a, it's a real kind of big, kind of powerful, impactful moment in your life, you do see it very differently. The context kind of changes.
I think also because our lives have other parts and players as well. So when you first start sharing your experiences, you're kind of respectful of other people's thoughts on these things, that the story can impact other people. That changes too the more that we get used to being more vulnerable. I guess my rule of thumb on this is to treat your story as an evolution. So the same story that I told as therapy in 2,012 is the same story I get paid to speak all over the world delivering now. The one difference is it's changed with time. It's changed with me. It's changed with experiences, with learnings, with connections.
So if we start to see our story as a work in progress, we're not constantly kind of reaffirming the story that we told initially.
Yeah. No. I I yeah. It it it's also hard to keep telling the it could be quite boring telling the same story. You take oh, here we go again. Here's my life. You know? I wanna spice it up a bit, or this time I'll put that in there. Sometimes it depends on who you're talking to and and why you're there and what they wanna hear, doesn't it?
It does. And I think this is the thing you see, that, no one cares as much as we think they do. And I mean that in the nicest possible way, that you could be the most exciting a list celebrity, but after fifteen minutes of talking to an audience, they're gonna wanna know what's in it for them. And I think that's kind of the thing, really, is you're when you're when you're telling your story, it's about it's about showcasing the value of your experiences, not just your experiences. So, for example, whether it's through mental illness, transitioning, whatever your experience has been in life, people don't really wanna be walked through those things, really. What they do wanna know is how did it impact you, how did it inspire you, how did it affect other people. They wanna have the experience of going through those challenges without having to relive the the bits that are already paying for in that sense. And I think once we start to do that, and I like to see it as if you were to write the story of your life, about 14 sides of a four is a fifty minute keynote.
And 14 sides of a four is 14 chapters, 14 chapters as a book, a book as a business. You never know when this stuff goes. But a great exercise for all of your kind of viewers and listeners right now, write the story of your life. But I don't want you to write it from a first person perspective, not I did this and this happened to me. I want you to write it as if Morgan Freeman were narrating your life. And how cool would that be, by the way? So as if a narrator were were actually kind of speaking about you, then you start to see the value of your experiences to your audience, and that's for me, it's the difference. That also protects you emotionally as well. So many people decide to share their story, and it's so vulnerable, and it's so painful for that person to deliver it because they're not doing it from an audience perspective.
They're doing it purely from a first person perspective. And I like that. And I think that tunes into something my nan used to tell me growing up that if everybody put their problems into the middle of the room, you'd end up picking your own back because you never know what other stuff what other stuff is going on with other people. And especially in professional environments because we mask it. How are you? Great. Thanks. How are you? Tell people to try telling people you feel rubbish. See how fast they run.
Well, I think I've noticed in the, in the space, the EDI space, the speaking space, whatever, you know, where we both coexist, is that having a story or having a back you know, having a canon or whatever is an end to the club because I've realized that people have I'm far more willing to share their vulnerability, their their deepest secrets, their their pain points, everything, really authentically and really vulnerably because I I come with my own membership card to that club. I was, you know, in the past, you know, you you described yourself as a 47 year old white man at the beginning of this show or or just before we went online. I I was in that position thirteen years ago. I'm now a a 60 year old woman with a trans history and a previous existence. And in my old life, I didn't have a membership card to the vulnerability sort of power. Yeah. People would I I'd just be seen as a voyeur. But now I meet people, and I understand marginalization.
I understand the frustration of not having access to things, being denied things, being picked on, being bullied or abused or whatever it may be. And I can relate to someone who is a person of color, black, some person with disability. Obviously, I don't have their story. I I have that empathy bridge where I can go, I get it. I get what you mean by vulnerability. They look back at me. They go, I know you get it. So that shared experience, isn't it?
It is. I think that the first ten seconds of any interaction with anybody, the two things that people strive for are commonality and community. Why are you like me? Even if you seem completely worlds apart, why are you like me? And what value is it gonna be for us to have this conversation, this talk, this keynote, whatever that thing is? I think that's a really important thing to master, and I think you're quite right. There is a there's a common thread between a lot of issues that we experience in life, whether it be mental illness or pronouns, identity, transitioning, race, culture, sexuality. There's so many things that make us diverse and varied in life. The common fact factor for me is belonging, And it's essentially kind of a big reason why I do what I do now is that it affects our sense of belonging enough to feel that we're marginalized enough to not have a platform, to not have a voice, to not feel that we can step up. So for me, belonging is a common thread in all this. People that have not always had the platform to speak.
And we can break this down into even just into the the the man woman approach as well that why is it that Find Your Voice, the the conference that I run, that 80 to 90% are women, but then when we turn up at the conference events where it's stadium and conference hall events, still most of the speakers are 90% male. There are disconnects everywhere. And the only way that we correct disconnects is by stepping up, creating a platform, and finding our voices. So more power to your elbow, to the other people that speak about culture and race and sexuality and all these other things that other people need to know about. But I think there's a there's a real big fear that we are losing the ability to ask questions from those people as well. So people that are not through going through the experiences that other people have gone through, I think fueled by cancel culture and something we spoke briefly about before we hit record on this. I think we're really afraid of asking questions for the fear of being canceled or being ashamed or or just saying the wrong thing. And I think that's something we we need to maintain, the ability to ask better questions.
I guarantee you that so much I don't understand in this world because it's just not been my experience. So you either blindly agree, not knowing what you're agreeing with, or you blindly disagree where all your old generational biases run wild. Both are equally damaging. For me, the bit in the middle is find people that have lived this, find people that know this stuff, and ask them for a genuine need to educate or to be curious. And I guarantee, Joe, I've not been punched once. So that's a good sign. There's thousands of conversations about where people that are not like me not been punched once. So that's my recommendation to everybody.
I mean, I'm I'm I'm the first to admit I have an opinion on most things, but I also realized that my opinion isn't always safe. I appreciate that it's my opinion. And there are certain things I I don't want to have an opinion on, and it frustrates the the pajesus out of people. When I I say, I'm sorry. I don't really have an opinion on that. And they say, well, you must have an opinion. You must have thought. I said, well, I do have some biases.
I have some stereotypes, and I have some stories I could tell you about it. But, really, I persuade me to give me give me your thoughts. I I don't have a strong enough view to wanna express it to anybody. I think what happens in the world at the moment is everybody is just feels licensed to express their opinions whether they're safe or not.
I think you're right. I think there's it's the reason I'm not on Facebook. I'm not on Instagram. I'm not on Twitter stroke x, whatever it's called at the moment. I'm only on LinkedIn, and that's kind of where I hang out. Because of that very reason, I think there's so many platforms, which and it was interesting. There was a Harvard study done this many years ago that between 18 and 29 year olds, social media was the biggest source of anxiety. But in the same survey with the same demographic demographic from a mental health perspective, it was a bigger source of positive community for mental health.
So, actually, it's not the platforms per se. It's our immersion, our engagement in those platforms. People don't immerse well. They will end up doomscrolling or feeling worse. And that's why I left in May 2020. I decided to leave social media. This was just after the pandemic and everything else, had started. And people that I knew for decades were falling out on a public timeline, and there were really strong opinions flying around everywhere.
I thought, I'm out. If you pick up your phone and twenty minutes later feel worse, that's not a good place to be. And I never went back. And I still exist commercially and personally, which is a good thing. People think you don't exist if you're not on those things. But I think you're right. It gives people a platform to share opinions that okay. People are people are, I guess, entitled to an opinion.
But it's how we decide to immerse in those things. If we feel sensitive about something, we will immerse ourselves in that thing, and we damage ourselves. Or the other effect is the echo chamber effect where we just surround ourselves with people like us and take that approach that you're either with me or against me kind of mentality, which to me, again, is equally damaging. So social media is an interesting one for sure.
Yeah. I'll take your opinion on something because, I don't know if you noticed but or realized, but I I I do some guest appearances on GB News,
which is I did all know that.
Yeah. Well, it's it's kind of as toxic as you as you get from a from a an EDI professional, from a trans woman's perspective. And people criticize me for feeding the beast, if you like. My my view is that if I'm not in the room, they can have that conversation anyway. Am I adding credibility to it being there, or am I taking the opportunity to say, hang on a minute. Here's another alternative opinion. And that's my view. So my my view is always go into the room, be a voice of alternative in a very measured, very balanced, very calm, very rational way just to counteract the myths because my rationalization is I'll I'll go anywhere toxic if I'm given a microphone and and and will be heard, even if I'm shouted down or abused while I'm on the stage, which has happened, just purely because there are people in the room who aren't hard right, hard left, hard ingrained, and they they're open to hearing a different view.
And I think we we owe it to those people to give them another voice, and that that's that's why I do it. So I don't know if you you've ever been in that situation where you've, had to walk away.
Firstly, I admire your strength and resilience because in the spirit of honesty, the and, again, we spoke about it before for a publication I used to write for. It was it was an extremely kind of toxic forum to the extent of our post around mental health, and somebody would say, I don't believe in mental health. I mean, what the hell does that mean? I mean, that's all something we haven't got time to go through right now. But but it's, and I withdrew myself from that. So, actually, I I would say this was many years ago, but I admire your strength and courage to do that. I personally I would say, like, I'm a reformed people pleaser, but I still get quite sensitive. And I think because I've built a business that's based on me, my personal story and stuff, I'm quite sensitive to that. But I do agree there are environments that are, I would say, comparable to what you're doing, whereas I will go and work for a large organization, get asked to speak to their teams and staff.
And I know they're doing it as a tick box exercise. I know there will be pushback. I know there will be people in that room that are usually and again, without stereotyping, but generally, it's true. It's the the kind of the the middle aged, or just older than me, maybe male suited, booted, arms folded at the back. They're gonna be the people that are gonna say we don't wanna engage in this stuff. But I'd like you were saying, I'd much rather be there affecting potentially one person than not be there at all. And I think that's that's the bit that you're doing brilliantly well is that you're actually staying in that space. But interestingly, those arms folded, middle aged white guys usually, will come up to be afterwards and be the first people to open up about their challenges.
They don't wanna talk an open forum, but they very much wanna talk in a private format. But I think that comes from vulnerability as well that if you share your experiences and your insights and your stories unfiltered with honesty, you build trust and rapport with people instantly to the extent that I can walk in, and an hour later, I've got somebody opening up about their life experiences to me. It's an amazing thing. So I think that's where, again, my vulnerability rocks, and you will be impacting people by what you do on TV news.
Yeah. And I echo what you're saying about the the arms folded people in the room. And I've I've had clients brief me beforehand saying, oh, you got this person, this person, and this person. They're they're really kind of hard to deal with, and, you know, they're gonna be really argumentative and pushback, doubting all this. Okay. That's fine. Is it you you know what I was? No. No.
No. No. Because in my experience, what I found is, as you said, these people are the ones that wear change you know, you turn on lights. And I always frame my my training, my talking is I I'm never here to tell you what to do, what to think, what to say. That's for you. Change has to occur in you. All I wanna do is turn some lights on, push the button, and encourage you to think. And if that if you come away from it thinking that you don't agree with me, that's fine.
I don't have to be right. I talk about perspectives and opinions, and I'm very honest to say that what I'm trying to do now is sell you my opinion. You have the right to choose to to adopt it or not adopt it. So I can't tell you to challenge your own views and opinions than by telling you mine. And you find that these people warm to you, and I'd say the the most the people you think are gonna be the most the toughest audience are actually the pussycats. Or if if they aren't entrenched, they do some of my job for me because they asked these pretty direct off off the wall questions. And the whole room's going, blimey. I'm glad I'm not I'm glad I'm more enlightened than they are.
Yeah. And so sometimes they do my job for me by by coming out with those tough questions. But, no, I've always found that most people, as you say, set off by being kind. Nobody grows up or wants to be a dick. And, generally, they don't wanna look like a dick in the middle of the room. Exactly. And they do come up afterwards and say, thank you. I've really learned something.
Because you're talking about something which is either sensitive to them or something which even can be considered as a taboo. There's so much generational stuff that's been handed down to us as taboo. I mean, even things like grief. I mean, later on today, I'm running a webinar with a a counselor on on grief. And even with things like grief in the workplace, it's still taboo. Why is grief a a taboo element? And the only way that you tackle these taboos is what you're doing is you're going in, sharing a story, sharing experiences. And I love the fact that what you're saying is very much like myself. You're not solution focused in the way that you've got to do this.
This is gonna help you. This is gonna fix you. This is gonna make you understand. You're giving people the ammunition to ask better questions of themselves. And I think that's where it stems from. As you say, nobody kind of grows nobody grows up as a clean slate with that intention to be a dick to people, but that's usually been handed handed down just a generational belief. And, also, it doesn't mean to say that they're wrong. It just needs to they need to change the way that they think and feel and understand other people's experiences and not like theirs.
I have people sort of come up to me and say, I I I don't get trans. I don't get non binary. And I go, that's okay. I don't either. I don't understand. If I could explain it and bottle it, I could flog it, but I don't understand it. All I can do is rationalize and say, I just am. I don't understand what it's like to be transmasculine.
I don't understand what it's like to be non binary because that's not my lived experience. I can tell you how I feel about me. You know? A sample size of one, I can't argue about whether it's right, wrong, indifferent I can't give you a medical explanation. All I can say is there's some sort of neurodivergence where my brain is wired, and this makes sense. I can't expect any further than that. So I think when people try and ask me to prove, I go, well, there is no proof. It it just is. Like many things, there's no
How they kinda come to you kind of they come to you to feel that, right, okay, prove me wrong, kind of mentality. It's like kind of very often if I take to the stage, like, they look at me like, okay, beardy boy, entertain me. Woah. Hopefully, I will, but that's not exactly what I meant, just to entertain you. I think it's but I think that's an expectation thing. And and also, I like to explore, and I like the dynamics of delivering at a mandatory session as opposed to one that people of of their food choice. That's an interesting dynamic twist as well. Because actually what you find is that you have to I used to run pubs and clubs back in the day, and I was always told to train in my security training, go for the biggest guy first.
So I I kinda take that same same approach now to to audiences. So if there is that one Gobby one or the one that's shouting at you a day or the one that they aren't folded, I go for them first. Then kind of everyone settles down a little bit then. But the mandatory one makes me laugh so much because, actually, you can tell that they just don't wanna be there. They all be swerving at the fact that you're talking about such a personal experience because it's been an experience of them. Even a fan is certainly I was working with, American Express with their, diversity team a few years ago now. We were talking about this very thing that actually very often why people come into these roles of representing a section of society or section of humanity is because they have either experienced that directly or indirectly themselves. But by nature, you then become more sensitive to take on the burdens and the challenges of everybody else.
So, actually, what it does, it increases the pressure on your own emotional well-being because you are flying the flag. So, actually, if you look at mental health champions, for example, that by the time they get home, they have not only supported themselves, but 20 other people, and that's before they even get home. Home is not always a good place. So I think that people like ourselves that are actually out there championing things, trying to create thought leadership and stuff, there's an element of we do need to be more selfish as well. We need to make sure that we protect our own energy before we put ourselves into those situations. And I think for me, that's why I know my kind of resilience threshold when it comes to pushback. I don't get that much, to be honest, but, I'm in true admiration of you, Joe, for having a a lot higher threshold to put yourself in these situations. I mean, just GB News generally, that's that is an amazing place for you to go into.
I've got a tune in now.
I've got, links. I I capture the video. I've recorded myself, and I've got I've got all the shows on. I've got I I got a greatest hits collection, and I actually you I did a speaker show reel for pride last year. Yeah. I clipped all of the intros. I'd like to welcome Joanne Lockwood. I'd like to welcome Joanne Lockwood.
I had Jacob Rees Mogg. I had Al Widdicombe. I had, Patrick Christie's. I had all the kind of main presenters welcoming Joanne Lockwood, and I thought it was a great little, pride showreel intro. And then I posted you know, like, people post testimonials on their showreels. I posted all the testimonials from x, all the negative testimonials. I was like, who does this bloke think he is with that deep voice? This bloke is wrecking society. This bloke is killing our children.
I posted those as
Some big old week, guys.
On on my showreels. Because, you know, if if you're gonna dance for the devil, you you're gonna you're gonna get you're gonna hit your ass put. This is it. I I
I'm trying to understand that rational leap between transitioning and you are killing our children.
Mutilating them, drugging them, ruining their their future, sterilizing them. Really? I I don't remember advocating with that.
Friend of mine, Ollie, he's he's a techie. So he he kind of thinks this way anyway. He's kinda very much lost in AI completely. But, he has this kind of phrase, if I say anything that people do that are just weird, he says people are idiots. So I will caveat that some people are idiots. And like I said, there's a lot of people that really don't deserve to have a voice, let alone find it.
Well, the the thing is, you've got to respect the fact that people who we think are idiots don't think they're they're idiots themselves. You know, you you live within your own sense of self and your own echo chamber.
I'm putting myself out of here, but people saying that you're killing their children, that's a pretty idiotic move, to be fair.
Well, the equation which is actually killing
children, and a podcast would be a great way to come out with that.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm advocating for it. I've had I've had people write me posted letters. They've somehow tracked me down, worked out where I live or my accountant, put a stamp on the envelope, and written it and and post it to me. And then, you know, oh, great. That's really lovely. Thank you.
Or they find my email address, and I get it in my info box every so often. This is a kind of, yeah, this kind of hate mail. But, yeah, it's Interesting. The way I box it off is I treat it as graffiti. You know, you're driving through a rough part of town, and there's spray paint on all the walls, and it's got swear words. It's got this. It's got you go home, and you're this. And you just put your foot down and just keep driving.
So as far as I'm concerned, all these concerts, they're just graffiti. They're not at me. They're just shouting at the world. I just happen to be the wall they're spraying it on. And they just wipe it off and go, well, you don't know me. Yeah. You've got no idea who I am. No fact in what you've said is so I can detach because it's not personal.
They think it's personal, but it's not because it's it's sprayed on the wall as far as I'm concerned. Interesting.
Can I ask you a question? I appreciate it. This is your show.
Yeah. No. No.
That's what I have. I get curious, you see. Would you say that the biggest challenge, what to to you personally was actual the the decision to transition or the the announcing of that transition to family society and the muggles that are out there right now. And, again, I'm a big party lots of fans. I use the muggles very positively, by the way.
Yeah. The the toughest thing was, I think, coming out to myself, so accepting and realizing who I and working out when it was necessary. So I always say that when it became necessary, it became necessary. Before it was necessary, it was manageable. So it was that point when it became necessary. And then at that point there, I didn't so much transition. The world had to. So I'm still kind of the eyes still see the same as everybody else, but it was my brother, other mother in laws, or my friends, or my reputation, or my career.
Those are the people that I kinda got used to me. So, you know, you talk about we talk about the the social model or the medical model of disability, it's society that is the problem. And and for me, it was the world that had to realign its perspective of me, and all I had to do was just try try and keep being the best me I could so the world would align in the way I want it to realign around me and to shift it by one eighty or something. So, yeah, that that was the challenge. So coming out initially, I I did when I was drunk on Facebook. We talked about social media. So that kind of was ripping the sticky parts off pretty quick, and I then just woke up in the morning and then owned it. And, yeah, I simplify it, but that's that's that's the headline, the jovial kind of get the audience laughing type headline.
But, yeah, my what what I realized very early on was the challenge wasn't me. It was the impact on my family, close family. That that was the hardest bit where I thought it was all about me, but, actually, I realized it wasn't it was all about everybody else. And they needed more help than I did. And, because you know, you see these things. You know? The first one is very good at this, you know, YOLO. If they're not with you, they're against you. You gotta get on with life and bugger them.
If they're not up for it, you just walk away. It's toxic. And I can see people who've done who've taken that attitude, and they've they're walking alone. Whereas I I decide, well, I I didn't want to walk alone. I wanted to be selfish and have what I had. And when that's your objective, you take a different approach. Now I always say, in order to be liked, you have to be likeable. In order to be loved, you have to be lovable.
In In order to be respected, you have to be worthy of that respect. And all that was I had the power in my in myself to be likable, lovable, and and worthy of respect. Not anybody else. Everybody else could then take me. I've used this depression several times, like, escape to where the puck is going, not to where it is. If that's where I wanna be, that's where I go ahead. And don't expect people to come to me and just accept me for who I was. So that that was the important lesson, but a lot of that was for the epiphanies and and realizations based on the feedback from my my wife, feedback from my daughter, especially, who who gave me a a bit of a a mental slap around the face and said wake up and smell the coffee.
You're a dick. If you want us to see you differently, behave differently. Yeah. Interesting.
Thank you for sharing that, by the way. I appreciate that.
No. As we started diving a bit deeper, can I You mentioned your mental health challenges? You mentioned your OCD. OCD is a is a is a a term that's bathed around often. You you have people, oh, I gotta keep it there. Oh, it's my OCD. Oh, it's my OCD. Yeah. And, yeah, we obviously appreciate there's a difference between people stealing that phrase for for the just that they don't wanna move their pencil two inches.
So I like it to have their pen sway and align with align with something. But on what you had, can you just tell me or tell the listeners, what is OCD Yep. From your perspective?
I think o so obsessive compulsive disorder. So OCD, I think much trivia managed due to channel four is OCD cleaners, as you say, or I'm a little bit OCD. It doesn't kinda work that way. It's very painful, frustrating condition. It's, so I developed at the age of seven, and I'm after witnessing a a family accident. And it was I think anybody's experienced any form of mental illness very often. It can be chemical, of course, but very often, it comes from a very severe action, produces a very severe reaction. So OCD is the ultimate pursuit of the uncontrollable.
So how it manifested was I started to check gas, which is in sets of three, light switches in sets of three, locks in sets of three with that feeling of comfort is the desired outcome. But the other outcome was and it's the fear that drives you is that if I didn't do these things, I would bring harm or even kill my family because the the situation was family related. So therefore, it's kinda assumed protection of the family through going through these checks and measures, which sounds hugely irrational to to people that have not experienced that. But I think there's something in that. The rationality goes out the window when obsession and compulsion are thrown into the mix. So, so it's kinda like a routine you have to do, and it kind of it fuels high anxiety. So through education, into my kind of teams, I was fueled by high anxiety. I I think that's the kicker though, really, that you can you see this a lot in professional life, and I write, like, a lot about this in in kind of HR publications such as yourself and, that we can be highly successful and highly performing fueled by anxiety, but you can only run for so long until you stop, and therein lies the problem.
I also think that it's taught me a lot about the way I speak, and like yourself in what you just said, I'm not solution focused. So, actually, I don't share what anxiety and and obsession compulsion is. I share what it does. So do you constantly ruminate on things that have gone wrong before, past relationships, past conversations, past decisions, and you replay them with a very real and very current feeling of guilt and remorse and regret. And what it does, it changes your narrative enough to start to then catastrophize what's to come. So, again, you wake up that feeling of fear and dread of everything that you're doing. It's all gonna go wrong. And I think that's why in my current life, and I focus so much on one thing, I don't coach presentation skills.
That's not really my thing. What I coach is transformation through speaking. You change your narrative. You change your experience. But it came from OCD. And I think there's something in that and and from what you've brilliantly shared as well, Joe, that from ultimate chaos can come magic. From the biggest of adversities can come the most exciting things. But let's not beat around the bush here.
Both of those things could have easily destroyed somebody as well. And I think there's something in that that you the same thing that can be the destructive force in somebody's life can also be the catalyst for positive change if we only use it in the right way. And that's why I focus so much on narrative. Because I think for me, OCD is fueled by negative narrative. It's fueled by high anxiety, but also there's a word I'm struggling for here, intrusive thoughts.
Are you are you aware that it is a false belief? Are you aware that you you you're you're trying to doubt yourself all the time going, I know this is wrong, but I can't stop myself. Is it a feeling of powerlessness that you can't override it?
Yeah. I think certainly and it has to be said with professional help, certainly in later years. It actually makes you kinda question everything in that sense. I always say to people now, one of the best things we can do is set out on a mission to prove ourselves wrong and actually realize that most of the things that we get anxious anxious about never happen. I mean, I use the example in 02/2012 after my breakdown. I kept something called a worry journal. It sounds weird, but go with me. It's a really, like, messed up version of a gratitude journal.
I wrote down everything that made me highly anxious or the byproducts of high anxiety, so, like, defensive and aggressive behavior. Jealousy and insecurity were huge in my world. Erratic behavior, sedgy lack of energy. And on day one, there were a 28 entries. And two weeks later welcome to OCD. Two weeks later, I I kind of checked back on day one, and of those of those a 28 things, absolutely none of them happened. And the more that I started to prove myself wrong, when that pattern starts to come in, I can then start to change the narrative enough to say, actually, no, because it didn't it didn't happen last time. It's the same as, I'm sure everybody here has had that feeling that they left the other on, they left the door unlocked.
It's kind of like that on repeat in that sense. But the more that we start to kinda check these things if I'm tired and stressed, and the reason I say I have OCD even now, it it never goes. If I'm tired enough, stressed enough, shocked enough, I actually developed it again after after having a road accident a few years ago, but I come back very quickly. If I check something more than twice, I have to physically stop myself because I will fall back into that routine. I do a roadshow with an amazing, what I called my neuroboffin, Ellen. She she says that when we create anxiety about things, we damage ourselves mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally as if it were actually happening anyway. So we're kind of damaging ourselves multiple times about the same situation. So one of the the main kind of points of what I speak about now is to fact check our anxieties.
And, actually, is this fact, or is it the story that we're telling ourselves? And is it if it is the story that we're telling ourselves, we can change that story. And if it's facts, go for closure. I always use the example of the text message. So if you've ever had a row with somebody really close to you by text message, iMessage, or WhatsApp, the three dots causes far more anxiety than the actual end of that conversation. And what about the disappearing three dots? So much anxiety. But the end of that conversation is never that bad. And and this is the thing. We we were constantly assuming worst case outcomes.
So my advice to to people listening and watching this today, set out on a mission to prove yourself wrong. You'll be surprised at how little actually happens.
Yeah. So I I I use that kind of expression. There's a a forecaster called Paul Saffo, and he coined the phrase strong opinions are weakly held. And part of that is, yes, you're allowed your opinions, but go out to the world believing you're wrong and and and try to prove you're wrong rather than start believing you're right, try to prove you're right. It's a bit like that's what scientists do. They put a theory out there and they try and prove each other wrong, and they they welcome criticism and peer reviews, and everyone who's done a PhD has to justify their opinions with people saying you're wrong. They have to stand up and defend it. So, yeah, most people wanna be right.
Most conversations are about selling my opinion to you, even if it's just, it's nice weather. I'm selling you that belief that the weather's nice, and you're gonna go, well, it's a bit cloudy. So you're you're you're giving me your opinion back. And you try and analyze a conversation that doesn't have an opinion or a belief in it. Does that happen?
Yeah. Very true. I mean, it's important to say that I I I do share what I call lived experience playbook tips. So they're kind of they're not advised by any stretch and not solutions. If you are having thoughts which are intrusive or causes you pain or frustration, absolutely reach out for professional help. I would strongly recommend that, of course, as a clear morality and also for insurance purposes. That's that's my disclaimer. But I think there's again, there's something in that with what we both do.
We're we're there to share lived experience. I think for me, lived experience I was speaking at the CIPD workplace well-being conference last week in London, and one of the main drivers of the message there was lived experience being the perfect vehicle to drive engagement to help or to solutions or insights or community, but it's not the answer. I think the worrying thing for me is I see a lot of people, especially in a mental health space, because that's a space I I'm in mainly. They're taking on that responsibility. We're helping people at their most vulnerable without the qualifications, training, or skills to actually help that person. I think for me, it's really about communicating our niche and our, the reason why we're there. And, obviously, for both of us, it's kind of what we do. We give people our experiences.
We give people our lived experience. We share what works, what hasn't worked. And I think people really like that, but it's just a vehicle to reach out for help. Our role is to get people to a point of engaging in, for me, certainly, the the proper solutions. And for you, it was actually changing thoughts, changing minds. I mean, one of the things that I find people that have been through experiences in their lives find most difficult to start with is trying to engage with people that don't think like them and actually quite bluntly and and sometimes, as you say, abusively don't agree with them as well. That could be really challenging sometimes. How do you deal with that? How do you deal with you've mentioned kind of, like, the the letters and stuff that you get, but how do you deal with the kind of the what I call the low level toxicity, you know, the the little pushbacks that you get? Do you ever get that in person as well? I know this is your show, but I'm also very curious
about it. No. No. I'm I I work I work on the the question. I mean, out of all of my experience, I've only ever had one or two occasions where someone was made a point in one of my training sessions. They objected to me using the word cis as a prefix. Cis is obviously a trans. And they got really empty about that word.
And the fact that I used gender identity or gender when I should have been talking about sex and the Equality Act, and and they said, I don't have a gender identity. I said, that's great. I've got a lot of my friends who are non binary who don't subscribe to gender either. Fine. That really blew their brains out. You know? I was agreeing with them in a in a way. But they caught me unawares, and I'll admit now that I had to go out and have a have a bit of a toilet break and recompose myself because I was not used to dealing with that hostility. But what disappointed me most was in a room full of people, nobody spoke up.
Nobody said anything. And afterwards, they all came up to me and said, oh, you you okay? Were you okay? Then they they told me this person was opinionated or awkward. They had a lot of trouble in the organization. I thought someone could have briefed me. Someone could have just mentioned that. Someone could have pointed it out. Someone you know, the senior people in that room, could have addressed that with that person, and I felt hung out to dry a bit. So, yeah, it has happened.
But I suppose I'm better prepared because I always go into spaces. It's it's the there's a percentage of 15%. Fifteen % of people have racist have sexist views other than have views that are are off main kilter. Look at the bell curve inimality. There's always gonna be the 15% top, 15% bottom. So I I always expect getting on a bus. There's 15% of the people not gonna like me. Walk into a room, I have a hundred people, 15 people in that room are not gonna like me.
So I go home with that kind of defense mechanism preprimed. And most of the time, 99% of the time, it's it's the anxiety that that never occurs. And I so I don't let it scare me. I manage that anxiety by just knowing that I've got my plan b in my back pocket if it happens. Right? Now I can show you my plan b card. I know how to deal with that. I've got an exit strategy. And, generally, my exit strategy is don't engage the trolls.
You know, if you feed the troll, the the troll grows. If you give it oxygen, which is what I'm saying on TV news sometimes. No. One on one, people people don't. I had an incident where someone door stopped me. I suppose he was a politician term at a at a a festival conference. They wanted my opinion on trans people in sport. I'm not a sports person.
I don't do elite. I don't run. I maybe go do recreational swimming, go for, a bit of gym work, but I'm not a sports person. I don't have a a strong opinion on on trans competition at all. I realize it's polarized. I realized there are it's I can produce a report that says this, and you can produce a report that says that. And we're arguing scientific reports, and I don't know which is best. So this person wanted me to acquiesce to their view that it was all wrong.
It was cheating. I said, well, look. I don't wanna argue with you. I it's not my specialist subject. There's there's there's balance of a view here. They go, please. They were determined to have an argument with the artist. I don't owe you an argument, I'm afraid.
I'm sorry. And, talk about something else, but I don't owe you an argument, and I'm not gonna argue on this. So, yeah, that that's how I would You need to answer
on behalf of everybody, isn't it?
Sorry. You broke up.
It's it's kind of like they want you to answer on behalf of the whole community.
Yeah. You represent every single trans person in the world. And, yeah, every every person that you've experienced is different, and it's in the same way, your your anxiety or OCD is unique to you, how you experienced it. It must have been immensely frustrating for people who loved and cared for you or knew you, having a a rational view of what you're doing saying, come on, Nick. Can't you see this is you know, can't you just hold your breath and try and cure your hiccups? Can't you just do everyone everyone's got a cure, haven't they?
They have. And I think has to be said. I come from a very loving family. I'm very lucky that way. Interestingly, my memory isn't great. I, I had to look back on NHS records to see kinda, like, the date of diagnosis and everything else that happened along the way, and I was speaking to my my mom and everything else. So growing up day to day, I can't remember actually how it felt. But as I came into the late teens, I I do very much remember that because, obviously, it's a very memorable period.
But they were great. But interestingly, I think, societally, which is why I asked you the question about kind of societal kind of expectations, you get labeled as something. And we do this, especially with kids. He's a warrior. He's sensitive. And, of course, that reaffirms then the belief that I am like that anyway. So it becomes kind of just part of the norm and part of what you do. When I first started to address this and and, again, for a professional help, I actually had to kind of speak to everybody and say, look.
If I ask you for reassurance once, answer me. If I ask you for reassurance again, don't answer me. Because if anybody here has had experiences of OCD, you'll know that reassurance lasts for about twenty minutes. So I think people family have always been very supportive. Obviously, I got Teresa, got counseling, everything else in my childhood. But I think it wasn't addressed because of just the way that the medical services were not lined up then. I mean, I'm 47 now, so this is a long time ago. It was only really when I started to address this in 02/2012, I started to make real kind of inroads using current day therapy, CBT, and lots of other things that are available now that just weren't available mainstream then.
Do you perceive it was already innate within you and there was a trigger event that set it off, or do you think it was a alert behavior later in life from a trigger event? Or do you think some of your anxiety, some of your upbringing has kind of made you vulnerable to to developing this kind of mental health challenge?
Great question. The trigger point was, as I understand it well, obviously, I can't remember before that. But as I understand it, the trigger point was the the accident with my my sister and and seeing that happen. I would say that the the what I call flare ups since in a major way have always happened at high points of stress. So there's an element of me which kind of feels that maybe that's my default setting that I go straight back to that point. It's but it's kind of like the you're trying to control everything. And I think, again, that links in with just general anxiety. And everybody that, that has that level of anxiety, you try and control everything and everyone, and that only compains the level of anxiety you're experiencing because you cannot control anybody or anything, and the pursuit of doing so will only create extra damage.
So it's a really interesting one. Maybe that is my default setting. I kind of reference them now as Indiana Jones mining cart tracks. They're always there. But if I get shunted back onto them, I know it's come back quicker. I say Indiana Jones. I mean,
I'm back to the exit now. Is that what you're saying? It's like a a nineteen eighties computer game where you're trying to wander around trying to find the exit, and you know where the exit is. You turn left, turn right, turn left, turn right, and there it is. Yeah.
I love that reference, Joe. I'm a big gamer myself, so I do love that reference. It's really cool.
Is that I I I was just thinking about my own sort of the way I would handle things. And I think over my life, I may have gone through moments in my life where I was acquiring stress and pressure, and everything was doom and gloom. There's no way out. How do I cope with this? And then I think I didn't do what you did, which is write down all these things that you worry about and then realize they hadn't happened. I I think my brain just was able to go, that's not real. That's not real. That's not real. And I I think I've recalibrated my pressure valve, whereas it used to have a high tolerance for pressure.
And now it it blows really, really quickly. I go, not worth it. It's like sticking a knife in a car tire. It just deflates quickly, and I'm I have a quick I have a fucking yeah. Don't care. I'm out. Just poof. Not playing.
And it's, it's, allows me to sort of deescalate things very quickly.
Yeah. I love that. That's really cool. A friend of mine, Zoe, she she says, I put it in front of the itty bitty shitty committee.
And
The brain is doing
the Got a jar of fucks to give, which I
I can't get one of them. That's pretty cool.
I've only got so many, and it's like, for special people, I have a a jar of hugs though, as well. So, you know, these are things I wanna get.
Big fan of hugs. I'm I'm a big fan of that. That's cool.
I love it. Yeah. I think put it in context that you, you know, when you wanna use fucks or spoons or whatever it is, you've only got so much you can give without it eating into you, isn't it? You know? I I'm not prepared to give you that fuck, I'm afraid. Sorry. It's not yours. I don't want it. It's mine.
Yeah. There is. But I think that takes a level of confidence and self esteem. I think when people go through an adversity or a huge period of change, I think that actually two of the things that are impacted for a lot of people are self esteem and confidence, that not feeling they have the right to reserve your fucks in this sense. There's something really empowering about finding your voice. I think there's something really empowering about being able to own your story in a way that you've taken control of the narrative in that sense. I love that. I think that's such a cool thing.
And when combined with seeing what the value is in your story to other people because actually, interestingly, the values of other people may not be something you consider important. Maybe it's such a small part of your journey, but when you start to see it from an audience perspective, there's something in your experiences, Joe, which really resonates with people. And interestingly and, again, this came up in conversation yesterday with, with a client that I could deliver the same talk to the same audience four times and have four different outcomes because if that one person in the audience is going through a marital problem, they're gonna pick up on the bit when I talk about personal relationships. Next time around, it could be a professional problem, and they'll pick up they'll ignore the other bit. So it's it's not about what we say to people. Trying to shatter our egos here. It's about the receiver. It's about where they are and actually what they wanna pick up from there.
Yeah. How you make people feel? Yes. Yes. How you move them from a to b. It is. And I'm I think I'm the same as you. I I stand on the stage, and I've got a start and end, and I've got a rough map of how I'm gonna get from start to end. Yeah.
A lot of it just depends on who smiles at me. If I say something and someone smiles at me, I go, okay. We'll just go into that a bit more. I'll talk to you for a bit. And I love that. Someone else will smile, and I'll talk to them for a bit. And it's Yeah. Different people will smile at different times or not, and you just feed off the audience.
And I think that's the important thing. If I've got if I know I've got one person listening, I'm gonna keep talking to that one person. Yeah. I think it's
it's a musician thing. It's like you riff with your content. You you know what's allowed in, so you stay in that. And I love that. That's really cool. I love that. Yeah.
I mean, I've I've I've never done a TEDx because you have to learn it off by heart and practice it and demo it. I don't do the same talk twice. I mean, I've I've got the same themes. I've got my LEGO bricks that I can make a fire station out of. But today, I might wanna make a racing car. You know? It's still the same bricks.
Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. TED TED's an interesting one. As a disclaimer, I do I do enjoy TED TED Talks, TEDx Talks, but they do, as you say, follow the same kind of format and the same kind of outcome and stuff. I prefer more free flowing. So in the same way that people like Toastmasters have an amazing space in the world for presentation skills and stuff, for me, it's it's finding somebody's voice and amplifying them. It's not about kind of this conveyor belt of making rinse and repeat speakers and and the way that they deliver and the way that they format.
I'm very much like you, Joe, that I'll have a big image behind me on the screen, and then I'll work out where I'm gonna go with this when I'm actually in front of people. And I think there's something in it as well that you you've probably had the same experience. So there's things in my head. Do a lot of thinking when I'm traveling and then creating, like, new talks and stuff. And there's something I think this is gonna be brilliant. When I say this, it's gonna be such a laugh. Be rolling in the oils. Nothing.
Tumbleweeds everywhere. And there's things that I've tripped over on the stage, which just work because that it just on the and that stays in. So that's why I always say that your story is an evolution, that it evolves with you and the world and the audience and society and Donald Trump and everything else is experiencing in the world right now. They're they're all has an element of it changes the way that our story is told. Doesn't make your your story wrong. It doesn't make your story disingenuous or not original. It just means that you're adapting it to where you where your beliefs and where your thoughts and insights are coming from there.
Yeah. My brain's I I think in in pictures and metaphors, which work in my head, they're not always working on people's heads. But I I think I was on stage once, and someone asked me this question. So how do you handle it when people are overenthusiastic or whatever whatever the phrase was? And I said, well, I'd rather ride a bucking bronco than drag a nag. So at least with a bucking bronco, you've got some energy. You could you can work with it. You can tame it. You can you can direct the energy.
With a nag, just towing it along, you you're doing all the work. It doesn't wanna be there. People come up to me after someone and someone, oh, I've written that down and drag you know, don't remember my a dragon egg. And it's just something that popped into my head when someone asked me a question, and, it's become something I I I've used often. I like that. It's not not
a quote I thought I was gonna get today, but I like those.
And I don't know about you, but you find yourself using these quotes. You think you've made them up, and then other people use them. Have you listened to my stuff, or have I listened to your stuff, or was it just a a really good conversation?
I I quite openly own own my, kind of complete copying because they're usually country music songs. I'm a huge country music fan. It's kind of my thing. I love, kind of, Nashville and everything else. And, so a lot of my quotes and talk titles are country music songs. I think, actually, by owning it, I know that I'm not certainly not playing any copy of somebody else I've listened to. But I think you're right. I think that so the quote that I I love is every storm runs out of rain, and and I use that the end of every talk.
But I kind of make a joke of the fact it's not mine. I just it's a great country song by Gary Allen. Check it out. But I I think you can have 10 speakers sharing the same sentiment from the stage and have 10 different impacts because it's not about what we say. It's about how we make people feel and how you deliver it. And the genuine, authentic, vulnerable Joe that's sharing that statement will be very different from somebody else. I always kinda liken it to scripted sales calls. No.
It's just in general. She don't buy into it. You you just you treat her with the respect it deserves. Like, usually, you pull the cable out the wall. Or you see an amazingly polished speaker at a conference. Politicians are great in this. Amazingly polished, but you can't buy into it. You can't emotionally buy into it because you just know it's kind of, or you see that kind of cell speaker at a conference, and they'll give you an amazingly polished talk.
They'll run to the back of the room now. There's only 10,000 pounds. They've lost you because it's disingenuous. And I think that's the bit that we need to explore more people like you, Joe, where you are leading I call it emotional leadership and emotional storytelling. You're taking people on a journey through feeling what you're saying, not hearing the words per se. I think people will very rarely remember what I've said, but they'll know how I make them feel. And that's the bit that sticks with people.
I don't get a secret. I very rarely rarely remember what I've said myself. It's it just it it comes out of a bit. My brain comes out of my mouth, but it doesn't go through the memory part. And it's just, I've taken to recording. I've got a mic I clip onto my lapel sometimes on my dress when I'm speaking, and I I transcribe it after, so I can look back and go, oh, that was actually some good stuff
in there, wasn't it? Something like that. It's a great idea. Because usually I just end up slipping the videographer a couple of hundred quid to get the raw footage. Actually, re recording my own is a good shout. That's a that's a great tip.
Yeah. I've got an app on my phone, and I've got a little mic. I just clip it on and and just get my phone to record. And then I I upload it into AI, and it transcribes it. It comes up with takeaways. And I I often give my That's that. Speaker booker I said, you know, I I not only talk. I'll give you, an FAQ, a a terminology, and a and a and an output, a takeaways from this from my talk.
Yeah. Go back, drag and drop, puff cut it and paste it into Word, PDF it, and send off the speaker book.
Yeah.
Yeah. Send it to your audience.
But that's because you're creating an experience. You're not just giving a talk. You're creating an experience where people get genuine value from that. But, again, you see I mean, you I'm sure you've been at these conferences speaking as well. You see so many speakers that just kinda like come on and do the slides and the whole Chris Whitty thing and then go again. And it's like what actually happened there. But we don't we can't remember what he said or what was covered. But, okay, who's next? And I think that's why when you get somebody with genuine emotion comes on, it really enlivens the room.
It really wakes people up because, actually, what you're talking about is a human experience. And not people that have had the same experience as you very often, but people that want they're just intrigued by We have been brought up and for generations on storytelling, good and bad, but But it's the stories that we tell people. And I think your ability to change the dynamic in the room is is absolutely a superpower because you know it's true. When we've been in the open plan office and that really angry person walks in, that stuff ripples. When really happy person walks in, that stuff ripples. You can change the environment with your words immediately, but it's the emotion that really people tune into. That's what they feel. Yeah.
I can't wait to see one of your talks, no joke.
Well, when we when we hang up this, we'll have to exchange some notes. Maybe we'll collaborate on something.
Sounds good. Do talk about
that. Yeah. Nick, it's been an absolutely fascinating chat in a way, and, Love that.
Thank you.
It's nice to find a kindred spirit, and Yeah. We share a lot of common values, beliefs, and thoughts. And, yeah, and thank you for going deep on your mental health and your OCD. And I've I have to admit, I was a bit curious, and I I I thank your vulnerability for sharing it with me and the audience. So, yeah, thank you. Bye bye.
Likewise, Joe. Thank you. Lovely to meet you as well, and and thanks to everybody else for tuning in as well.
Who can get ahold of you?
Nice and simple, just like me. B w w nick elston dot com. You'll find everything on there. I'm not on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Just if you are on LinkedIn, you can connect me with me on there for sure.
And also look up your articles on HR's own training zone and publications such as that.
Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Stay tuned for those, and I'll be digging a bit deeper into your archive as well. So I really like the cut of your chip.
Excellent.
Let's get to easy turn as well. Carry on, Phil.
Nick, thank you. Thank you.
As we bring this conversation
to a close, I want to
express my deepest gratitude to you, our listener, for lending your ear and heart to the cause of inclusion. If today's discussion struck a chord, consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of our ever growing community, driving real change. Share this journey with friends, family, and colleagues. Let's amplify the voices that matter. Got thoughts, stories, or a vision to share? I'm all ears. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk, and let's make your voice heard. Until next time. This is Joanne Lockwood signing off with a promise to return with more enriching narratives that challenge, inspire, and unite us all.
Here's to fostering a more inclusive world, one episode at a time. Catch you on the next bite.
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More from this recording
Episode Category
Primary Category: Mental Health
Secondary Category: Overcoming Adversity
🔖 Titles
Harnessing Vulnerability: How Honest Storytelling Fosters Inclusion and Drives Genuine Transformation
Empowering Voices: The Transformative Impact of Authentic Storytelling on Belonging and Connection
Beyond the Surface: Why Real Stories Build Deeper Trust and Inclusive Cultures
Speaking the Truth: Storytelling as a Catalyst for Inclusion and Positive Change
The Evolution of Narrative: How Owning Your Story Inspires Personal and Social Growth
From Scar to Strength: Unlocking the Power of Honest Storytelling in the Workplace
Building Bridges: Authentic Communication as the Foundation for Empathy and Belonging
Changing Minds: The Role of Vulnerability in Shaping Inclusive Communities
Human Connections: Why Sharing Real Experiences Matters in Driving Lasting Transformation
Sparking Change: The Unseen Value of Storytelling for Inclusive Leadership and Action
A Subtitle - A Single Sentence describing this episode
Nick Elston explores how honest storytelling and embracing vulnerability can transform personal adversity into powerful connections, ignite belonging, and inspire authentic conversations that challenge societal norms.
Episode Tags
Honest Storytelling, Mental Health Awareness, Embracing Vulnerability, Personal Narratives, Inclusive Leadership, Overcoming Stigma, Finding Belonging, Transformational Speaking, Authentic Communication, Challenging Bias.
Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway
In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood explores the transformative potential of honest storytelling with guest Nick Elston. Together, they unpack the role of vulnerability and authenticity in forging meaningful connections, both personally and in professional circles. Joanne shares the evolution of her own narrative and emphasises how sharing lived experiences can foster empathy and a sense of belonging. Nick explains the emotional weight of repeatedly telling one’s story and the importance of adapting narratives to serve both audience and personal wellbeing, whilst ensuring stories remain relevant and impactful. The discussion openly addresses the discomfort and courage required to lead with vulnerability in spaces not always primed for change.
Nick is a keynote guest renowned for empowering individuals to embrace their voice, share their stories, and cultivate genuine human connection. As founder of Forging People, his mission centres on turning vulnerability into a catalyst for growth and transformation. Drawing upon a journey shaped by obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety, Nick began using his voice as a therapeutic tool in the wake of professional burnout. His approach champions not only personal development but actively encourages others to break the silence around mental health and embrace their full selves in the workplace and beyond. Throughout the episode, Joanne and Nick engage in candid dialogue about the challenges of “owning your story” without being trapped in the past, the pitfalls of performative vulnerability, and the necessity of creating spaces where difficult questions can be safely explored.
The conversation further delves into ways of balancing lived experience with boundaries, highlighting the emotional and psychological labour inherent in driving inclusion. Both Joanne and Nick offer practical illustrations of communicating difficult topics—ranging from gender identity to mental illness—with humanity and relatability. They engage in a robust exchange about the power of authenticity to disrupt echo chambers and foster genuine change, particularly in environments resistant to inclusion.
A key takeaway from this episode is the power of lived experience as a vehicle for connection and positive action. Listeners will gain insight into using their authentic narrative not as a limitation, but as an evolving tool for personal empowerment and meaningful impact. Whether you are seeking to share your own story or lead others through theirs, this episode will inspire you to embrace vulnerability and ignite the spark of inclusion.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Be cautious of over-sharing past stories; they can define you and pull you back, requiring a balanced and relevant retelling.
07:27 People care less than we think; focus on sharing the value of your experiences rather than just detailing them.
11:59 The text highlights the gender imbalance in speaking events and the broader issue of disconnects, urging the importance of creating platforms for diverse voices and maintaining the ability to ask questions without fear, amidst concerns about cancel culture.
17:21 I admire your strength and resilience in dealing with toxic environments; as a reformed people pleaser, I'm sensitive, but appreciate your courage.
24:30 Advocates need to protect their own emotional well-being to avoid burnout, recognising when to prioritise self-care amidst their supportive roles.
29:33 The world needed to change its perception of me; I focused on being my best self for that realignment. I came out on Facebook while drunk and then embraced it.
33:08 Compulsive behaviours driven by anxiety, like checking in sets of three to protect family, can seem irrational. Despite appearing successful, anxiety often fuels actions until it becomes unsustainable.
41:03 Sharing personal experiences helps others seek help by showing what works and doesn't, while addressing challenges like engaging with differing and sometimes toxic perspectives.
47:03 Reassurance offers temporary relief for OCD. Support from family and therapy helped, but effective treatment wasn't accessible until 2012 with modern therapies like CBT.
51:25 Story impact varies by audience; it's about their needs, not our delivery.
54:09 Stories evolve with the world and audience, adapting to current experiences and beliefs.
59:17 The ability to evoke emotion through storytelling can transform dynamics and capture people's attention.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Living Beyond Historical Narratives
07:27 "Sharing Stories: Value Over Experience"
11:59 Amplifying Voices, Bridging Gender Gaps
17:21 "Resilience and Sensitivity in Toxic Spaces"
24:30 Protecting Mental Health of Advocates
29:33 Reframing Disability and Self-Perception
33:08 Obsessive Compulsive Patterns and Anxiety
41:03 Engaging Others Despite Challenges
47:03 Reassurance and OCD Journey
51:25 Audience Perspective Shapes Story Value
54:09 "Evolving Stories"
59:17 The Power of Emotional Storytelling
Custom LinkedIn Post
🎙️ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 🎙️
💬 What happens when you make vulnerability your superpower? Tune in to this 1-minute audiogram and discover the brave art of connection! 💬
This week, I’m delighted to welcome Nick Elston—keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. Nick’s lived experience with mental illness and his passion for authentic communication turn traditional leadership on its head and invite us all to tap into the magic of real stories.
Together, we explore:
🔑 Using Vulnerability as Strength – How opening up can foster genuine trust and connection in the workplace (and beyond)
🔑 When Stories Own You – The invisible risks of letting your story define you, and how to keep evolving
🔑 Building Belonging – Why shared experiences, even from very different walks of life, hold the key to a true sense of inclusion
Why Listen?
"Inclusion is about understanding, and this episode is packed with insights to help you create more #PositivePeopleExperiences."
About the Podcast
As the host of Inclusion Bites, I serve up bold conversations every week to inspire, challenge, and equip you to drive meaningful change—one real story at a time.
What do you think?
How do you use honesty or vulnerability in your life or work? 💭 Drop your thoughts below 👇 or share your story with us!
🎧 Full episode and more: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#PositivePeopleExperiences #SmileEngageEducate #InclusionBites #Podcasts #Shorts
#Storytelling #Belonging #Vulnerability #MentalWellbeing #AuthenticLeadership
Don’t forget to like, follow, comment—and tag a colleague who should be part of this conversation!
TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary
Focus Keyword: Honest Storytelling
Video Title:
The Power of Honest Storytelling in Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags:
honest storytelling, inclusion, diversity, culture change, positive people experiences, ocd awareness, mental health, vulnerability, authenticity, workplace wellbeing, belonging, inclusive culture, leadership, lived experience, empowerment, transformation, keynote speaker, Joanne Lockwood, Nick Elston, see change happen, inclusive conversations, empathy, podcast, storytelling tips, community
Killer Quote:
"It's about showcasing the value of your experiences, not just your experiences." – Nick Elston
Hashtags:
#HonestStorytelling, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #Inclusion, #Diversity, #Belonging, #MentalHealth, #Vulnerability, #Authenticity, #Storytelling, #Transformation, #Empowerment, #Leadership, #LivedExperience, #InclusionMatters, #Community, #Speaker, #WorkplaceWellbeing, #Podcast
Summary Description:
Discover the real impact of honest storytelling and why it’s at the heart of every lasting culture change. In this episode, I sit down with Nick Elston to explore how vulnerability, authenticity, and the power of sharing lived experience pave the way for truly Positive People Experiences. We dissect what it means to speak openly, why embracing our stories builds trust, and how connecting through our journeys leads to stronger, more inclusive workplaces. This conversation goes beyond the superficial, unlocking practical insights for anyone striving to supercharge their culture or spark change within their community. Listen in if you’re passionate about inclusion, ready to challenge the status quo, and eager to elevate your people experience to new heights. Tap in and drive the change!
Outro:
Thank you for tuning in to Inclusion Bites! If you found value in this honest conversation about culture change and Positive People Experiences, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more bold insights. Explore further resources and join our community at the SEE Change Happen website: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
Listen to the full episode here: The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, curated by Joanne Lockwood, your guide through the dynamic landscape of inclusion, belonging, and authentic leadership. In this episode, titled "The Power of Honest Storytelling," Joanne is joined by Nick Elston—keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. Together, they unpack the profound impact of vulnerability and authenticity in professional and personal storytelling.
Listen in as Nick shares his lived experience with OCD and anxiety, exploring how personal adversity shaped his journey into transformational public speaking. Joanne and Nick delve into the nuance of sharing one’s story—how retelling difficult experiences can either anchor us in the past or act as a catalyst for change and connection. This episode offers honest reflections on the emotional complexities of storytelling; the responsibility storytellers bear to both themselves and their audiences; and the bridge of empathy that forms when we lead with our truths.
Whether you’re an HR professional, an EDI advocate, or someone striving for greater belonging in your space, this conversation delivers actionable insights into how honest narratives ignite trust, foster community, and drive real social change. Plug in as we challenge assumptions, embrace discomfort, and inspire action—one bold conversation at a time.
💬 Keywords
inclusive culture, belonging, storytelling, vulnerability, authentic communication, mental health, obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety, burnout, professional speaking, HR, Diversity & Inclusion, lived experience, workplace wellbeing, community, commonality, transformational coaching, marginalisation, intersectionality, personal narrative, social media, cancel culture, opinion diversity, empathy, resilience, taboo topics, lived experience playbook, emotional wellbeing, self-esteem, empowerment
About this Episode
About The Episode:
In this thought-provoking episode, Nick Elston joins to illuminate the transformative power of honest storytelling and the vital role vulnerability plays in fostering genuine connections. Drawing upon his lived experience with OCD and anxiety, he explores how embracing one’s narrative—warts and all—can break down barriers, create belonging, and serve as a powerful tool for inclusion. Together, the conversation delves into how stories, when shared authentically, inspire action, combat stigma, and drive change at both a personal and organisational level.
Today, we'll cover:
How embracing vulnerability in storytelling builds trust and deeper human connections within professional environments.
The dynamic nature of personal stories, and why continually evolving narrative ensures authenticity and sustained impact.
Strategies for using lived experience as a catalyst for education, empathy, and organisational transformation.
Techniques for managing the potential emotional toll of sharing difficult stories, such as reframing the narrative and maintaining personal boundaries.
The necessity of cultivating spaces where uncomfortable questions can be safely asked, promoting dialogue and reducing the fear of “getting it wrong” in inclusion work.
Recognising the universality of belonging as a cornerstone for inclusion, regardless of background or identity marker.
Why challenging conversations—both in and beyond the workplace—are essential for moving from superficial diversity exercises to genuine cultural change.
💡 Speaker bios
Joanne Lockwood is the passionate host of "Inclusion Bites," a podcast dedicated to igniting bold conversations around inclusion, belonging, and societal change. As a guide and storyteller, Joanne invites listeners on a journey to explore what it truly means to create a world where everyone can thrive. Through candid discussions and thought-provoking stories, she challenges the status quo and seeks to uncover the unseen, encouraging reflection and inspiring action. Whether you’re starting your day or winding down, Joanne’s warmth and insight make "Inclusion Bites" a sanctuary for those striving to make a difference.
💡 Speaker bios
Nick Elston’s journey is one shaped by both resilience and personal insight. Living with obsessive compulsive disorder since childhood, Nick saw his condition go largely untreated in an era when mental health support was limited. As he grew older, his challenges evolved into generalised anxiety disorder, which began to overshadow other aspects of his life. Despite this, Nick forged ahead in his professional career, spending nearly a decade striving for success while silently battling exhaustion and burnout. Today, he draws on these lived experiences to inspire and empower others, advocating for better mental health awareness and support.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Certainly! Drawing directly from the transcript, here is a comprehensive sequence of the primary topics covered in "The Power of Honest Storytelling" episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, along with relevant sub-topics for each.
1. Introduction and Podcast Purpose
Joanne Lockwood’s role and ethos as host.
Overview of the Inclusion Bites Podcast and its commitment to fostering inclusion and belonging.
Invitation for listeners to participate and connect.
2. Introduction of Guest: Nick Elston
Nick Elston’s professional background as a keynote speaker, speaking coach, and founder of Forging People.
Nick’s superpower: turning vulnerability into connection and transformation.
3. Origins and Power of Honest Storytelling
Nick’s personal experience with mental illness (OCD and anxiety).
Early management and professional challenges stemming from untreated mental health conditions.
Speaking as therapy and the impact of openness at work.
Discovery of the power in sharing lived experiences and inviting others to do the same.
4. Evolution and Ownership of Personal Story
The risk of being defined by past trauma when continually retelling personal stories.
The concept of “speaking from the scar, not the wound.”
Adjusting narratives for relevance and audience needs.
The importance of story evolution and adaptation over time.
5. Storytelling as a Bridge to Belonging and Commonality
Authentic communication fostering trust, depth, and empathy.
The empathy bridge: the value of shared vulnerability and lived marginalisation.
Belonging as the thread connecting diverse experiences across gender, race, disability, and more.
Challenges of being “in the club” and building trust with various audiences.
6. Navigating Professional and Societal Resistance
Audience expectations, resistance, and engagement, especially in mandatory environments.
Handling pushback, cancellation culture, and fear of asking questions.
The role of EDI (Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion) professionals in holding space for uncomfortable conversations.
7. Social Media and the Amplification of Opinions
Positive and negative impacts of social media on mental health and inclusion.
The “echo chamber” effect and selective immersion in toxic versus positive communities.
Decisions to disengage from certain platforms for personal wellbeing.
8. Being a Voice in Challenging and Hostile Spaces
Joanne’s approach to appearing on controversial platforms like GB News.
The rationale for engaging with difficult audiences or environments, balancing credibility, and providing an alternative narrative.
The effects of negative feedback, hate mail, and detaching from personal attacks (graffiti metaphor).
9. Handling Criticism and Emotional Wellbeing
The importance of self-care for advocates and lived experience speakers.
Peer and family support during vulnerability.
Developing resilience thresholds and boundaries for engagement.
10. Mental Health Deep Dive: Nick Elston’s OCD Journey
Explanation and lived experience of OCD: triggers, compulsions, misconceptions.
Differentiating genuine OCD from colloquial misuse.
Long-term management, therapy modalities (e.g., CBT), and impact on professional life.
The “worry journal” and self-correction techniques.
11. Transformational Storytelling in Practice
Shifting narrative agency: writing one’s own story versus being defined by others.
Morgan Freeman metaphor: distancing for audience relatability and emotional safety.
Encouraging others to share their stories for collective benefit and self-development.
12. Audience Engagement and Adapting Presentations
Tailoring stories to audience context and needs.
Interactive and responsive storytelling (analogy of “riffing” like a musician).
The “dragging a nag” versus “riding a bucking bronco” analogy for audience dynamics.
Owning and adapting quotations and learning from audience response.
13. Final Reflections and Contact Information
Closing thoughts on embracing lived experience and honest vulnerability.
Invitation for listener participation, feedback, and future guest suggestions.
Nick’s contact details and mutual appreciation.
This structured breakdown mirrors the organic flow of the podcast, demonstrating how Joanne and Nick weave together stories of vulnerability, resistance, and authentic connection as catalysts for inclusion and societal change.
The Hook
Ever felt like your own story is holding you back—or could be THE thing that sets you free? Think “vulnerability” is a weakness? Turns out… it’s the most magnetic tool you own. What if sharing the messy, honest truth is exactly where real transformation (personal + professional) begins…?
Stop hiding the parts of your story that make you feel “too much.” What if those battle scars are the bridge to true connection—yes, even in boardrooms? Listen in as we unpack WHY honest storytelling sparks change… and how it can put you back in control.
Question for you: Are you telling your story—or is it telling you? Turns out, holding back “the real stuff” keeps us stuck on the sidelines, watching others connect and lead. Up for breaking the pattern? It all starts with the power of being gloriously, uncomfortably honest. Ready?
Still bottling up the struggles you think make you “less than”? Imagine turning your rawest moments into rocket fuel for connection, leadership, and growth. This episode? It’s your permission slip—let’s rewrite the narrative and OWN what sets you apart.
Let’s get real: Everyone’s got wounds—but who’s brave enough to speak from the scar, not the scab? (And guess what, that matters.) Dive into a conversation where we smash the myth that “professional” means “filtered”—because true leadership starts with authenticity, every time.
🎬 Reel script
On this episode of Inclusion Bites, I sat down with keynote speaker and transformational coach Nick Elston to unlock the true power of honest storytelling. We explored how embracing vulnerability can transform our connections, foster authentic dialogue, and drive real change in the workplace and beyond. Whether you’re leading a team or shaping your personal journey, tune in and discover why your story—shared with courage and truth—is your most valuable asset. Join the movement towards a more inclusive, connected world.
🗞️ Newsletter
Subject: The Power of Honest Storytelling: Vulnerability, Connection, and Change — Inclusion Bites Podcast [Ep. 160]
Hello Inclusion Bites Community,
Welcome to your latest edition of the Inclusion Bites newsletter — your source for bold insights and transformative conversations from the heart of the inclusion agenda.
This Week on the Podcast:
Episode 160: The Power of Honest Storytelling
Hosted by Joanne Lockwood (she/her) | Guest: Nick Elston (he/him)
Unlocking the Power of Vulnerability
In our newest episode, Joanne speaks with Nick Elston — internationally renowned keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. Together, they explore how vulnerability, when embraced and shared openly, can act as a catalyst for both personal transformation and inclusive cultures.
Nick’s journey with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) offers a deeply authentic perspective on why sharing our real stories matters. He reminds us that speaking without a filter, with genuine authenticity, forges bridges of trust — creating the space for profound connection and collective belonging.
Key Takeaways:
Stories as Tools for Change: Storytelling is not just about recounting events; it is about shaping narratives to effect positive change. Both Joanne and Nick highlight how stories, when spoken from the “scar, not the wound,” foster relatability and resilience.
Evolution of Lived Experience: Nick discusses how personal stories evolve over time. As our understanding and context shift, so too does the narrative we share — ensuring relevance and emotional safety for both the storyteller and the audience.
Belonging at the Core: Whether discussing gender, neurodiversity, disability, or race, the common denominator is the human need to belong. Creating inclusive spaces means enabling people to bring their authentic selves to the fore.
Handling Pushback: The episode provides keen insights into navigating resistance — from sceptical audiences to online hostility. Both speakers stress the significance of compassion, self-protection, and perseverance in advocacy.
Turning Adversity into Impact: By demystifying mental health challenges and embracing vulnerability, we can inspire others, promote understanding, and ignite meaningful conversations.
Jo’s Perspective: Boldly Inclusive, Unapologetically Real
Joanne offers honest reflections on her own journey as a trans woman and inclusion leader — from grappling with the weight of her story to challenging the social narratives surrounding identity, belonging, and marginalisation. Her wit and authenticity remind us that “change has to occur in you — my job is simply to turn some lights on.”
Action You Can Take:
Reflect: How might your own story, told authentically, foster belonging or drive change in your sphere?
Share: Have a narrative, thought, or insight to offer? Reach out directly to Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or consider joining a future episode.
Listen and Amplify: Haven’t heard the episode yet? Tune in here — and do share it with colleagues and friends.
As Joanne says: “Here’s to fostering a more inclusive world, one episode at a time.”
Thank you for being part of this journey towards deeper inclusion and unapologetic belonging.
With solidarity,
The Inclusion Bites Team
Connect | Reflect | Inspire Action
For more information and episodes, visit:
https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #Storytelling #Belonging #Vulnerability #PositivePeopleExperiences
🧵 Tweet thread
🧵 1/ Bold conversations ignite change! Just finished listening to the latest #InclusionBites with @jo_lockwood and transformational speaker @NickElston—an honest deep dive into storytelling, vulnerability, and why true inclusion is all about belonging. 👇
2/ Nick’s superpower? Turning vulnerability into a tool for connection. He shares how honest storytelling—especially around mental health and lived experience—creates powerful bridges of trust in both personal and professional spaces. 🌉
3/ “When you speak without a filter, you build trust,” Nick says. He describes how sharing his journey with OCD and anxiety not only empowered him but gave others permission to voice their own truths. Story becomes a catalyst for real change. 💬
4/ Jo’s insight: If your story stays stuck in the past, it can start to own you. Instead, she suggests treating your story as an evolution—one that changes over time, matching new audiences and contexts without diluting its authenticity. 🔄
5/ Both agree: belonging is the cornerstone of inclusion. Whether discussing gender, mental health, race, or sexuality, the shared human need is to feel seen and safe enough to speak up. Creating space for every voice matters. 🗣️✨
6/ Tackling tough rooms? Nick points out that often the people most resistant at first (“arms folded at the back”) are the ones who open up in private. Vulnerability disarms defensiveness. Sometimes your “toughest” audiences are the most transformed. 🎭
7/ Jo draws the line between opinion and empathy. She notes: “I can empathise with marginalisation, but my experience is still my own.” Not everything needs your opinion—sometimes curiosity and listening are the most radical acts. 🎧
8/ Social media: blessing and curse. Nick left most platforms for his wellbeing, but says: it’s about how you immerse—not just doomscrolling, but intentionally seeking positive community. #MentalHealthMatters 📱
9/ For all diversity & inclusion champions: Powerful stories start change, but don’t shoulder the world alone. Both Jo and Nick highlight the need to protect your own energy—even as you advocate for others. #SelfCare 🧡
10/ Final wisdom? Storytelling does not mean reliving pain—it’s about framing your narrative, finding its value, and connecting with those ready to listen. Every honest conversation plants a seed of change. 🌱
11/ Want more bold talks that disrupt the status quo? Subscribe to Inclusion Bites: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
DM @jo_lockwood or email jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to join the conversation or share your story.
Let’s ignite inclusion together! #InclusionBites #Belonging #Storytelling #DiversityMatters
Guest's content for their marketing
Certainly! Here is an article for Nick Elston to use for his own marketing, reflecting upon his experience as a guest on the Inclusion Bites Podcast — written from his perspective, in UK English:
Embracing Vulnerability and Storytelling: My Experience on the Inclusion Bites Podcast
Recently, I had the distinct pleasure of joining Joanne Lockwood as a guest on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, delving into the transformative power of honest storytelling. The episode, aptly titled The Power of Honest Storytelling, provided a spirited platform to discuss how embracing vulnerability in communication fosters genuine connection, enhances belonging, and catalyses positive change — both in professional settings and in wider society.
As a keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People, my personal and professional journey has always centred around empowering individuals to find and authentically express their voice. On the podcast, I was able to share not just my superpower — turning vulnerability into a powerful vehicle for connection — but the underlying journey shaped by my lived experience with mental illness, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD).
During our conversation, Joanne and I explored the importance of narrating one’s story from a place of authenticity. The concept of ‘speaking from the scar, not the wound’ resonated deeply, reflecting the need to process our experiences before using them to inspire or connect with others. We discussed the dynamic evolution of our personal stories — how revisiting and adapting them over time is neither inauthentic nor repetitive, but rather a testament to personal growth and a means of meeting audiences where they are.
A recurring theme throughout the episode was the universality of adversity and belonging. I reflected on how sharing my story initially in professional environments, at a time when vulnerability was rarely encouraged, resulted in remarkable moments of human empathy. When one person leads with openness, it gives permission for others to do the same — breaking down boundaries, dismantling taboos, and creating a collective sense of psychological safety.
One poignant point was around the impact of our stories on others. As I shared with Joanne, it’s not about walking others through every painful detail of our journey, but about illuminating the value, lessons, and empathy that arise from those experiences. Effective storytelling invites others to reflect, relate, and challenge their own perspectives. Through narrative, we bridge differences and create community — something fundamentally necessary in the current climate of polarised opinions and rapid-fire, often judgemental digital discourse.
Of course, we challenged each other on the real risks of being visible and vocal about sensitive topics. From dealing with hecklers in a corporate training session to confronting bias and even hate in the public sphere, it’s clear that emotional resilience and responsible boundaries are an essential part of this work. Nonetheless, we both agreed that the spark of change starts with courageous conversations — whether in a crowded conference hall or a one-to-one exchange with the so-called ‘arms folded at the back’ participants who often surprise us with their vulnerability in private, once trust has been earned.
What truly stood out to me from our discussion was the vital role of curiosity — both in ourselves and others. The willingness to ask questions, to both challenge and be challenged, is at the heart of progression, be it in the context of diversity and inclusion or personal development. As I often say, we’re all learning, and it’s only through mutual curiosity that true understanding emerges.
Inclusion Bites is exactly the kind of podcast the world needs. The conversations aren’t simply about diversity metrics or policies; they’re about the very real, human stories behind those initiatives — stories that invite us all to listen, reflect, and, ultimately, act. I’m grateful to Joanne Lockwood for holding such an open, insightful space and for inviting me to share my perspective.
If you missed the episode, I highly recommend giving it a listen. Whether you lead, speak, or simply seek to better understand the lived experiences of others, you’ll walk away with new insights, practical takeaways, and perhaps the spark to share your own story more honestly and courageously.
— Nick Elston
For media, event, or coaching enquiries: visit www.nickelston.com or connect with me on LinkedIn.
Listen to the episode: Inclusion Bites Podcast
Pain Points and Challenges
Certainly! Below is a focused analysis, summarising key pain points and challenges discussed during this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast (“The Power of Honest Storytelling” with Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston), followed by actionable strategies to address each issue within inclusion and storytelling contexts.
Pain Points & Challenges Identified
Vulnerability and Emotional Exposure in Storytelling
Speakers experience difficulty when sharing personal, often traumatic stories, balancing honesty with emotional self-preservation.
Risk of being re-traumatised by repeatedly recounting historical challenges.
Navigating Authenticity vs. Professionalism
Tension between authentic, unfiltered storytelling and perceived ‘professional’ standards, particularly in formal or workplace settings.
Story Ownership and Evolution
Risk of one’s defining story becoming a limitation or trap, rather than a tool for connection or advocacy.
Stories evolve, but there’s a dilemma in keeping the narrative relevant without losing its emotional core.
Fear of Asking Questions and Cancel Culture
Self-censorship and fear of saying the wrong thing prevents open dialogues, especially around marginalised experiences.
Widespread anxiety about inadvertently causing offence stifles curiosity and learning.
Marginalisation and Belonging
People from marginalised backgrounds encounter barriers to platforms and voice.
A sense of not belonging or being a ‘member’ of the group is a persistent theme, influencing confidence and engagement.
Backlash, Hostility and Low-Level Toxicity
Direct and indirect pushback, ranging from overt abuse to microaggressions, including hate mail, social media hostility, or passive resistance in professional environments.
Isolation in Advocacy Roles
Those who speak out or advocate often shoulder the emotional burdens of many, leading to burnout and compassion fatigue.
Managing Mental Health Stigma and Misconceptions
Conditions like OCD are trivialised or misunderstood (“I’m a bit OCD”), making it harder to discuss genuine lived experience.
Provision of support lagging behind need, especially in leadership or high-performance contexts where vulnerability may be stigmatised.
Content to Address These Challenges
1. Fostering Safe Spaces for Vulnerable Storytelling
Establish clear boundaries within personal narratives: Share “from the scar, not the wound”—only disclose what no longer traumatises you.
Encourage organisations to implement post-disclosure support mechanisms—peer debriefings, access to external counselling, and regular wellbeing check-ins for speakers.
2. Redefining Professional Authenticity
Advocate for a reimagining of 'professionalism' that centres on authenticity and respect, not emotional restraint.
Equip leaders and HR teams to model vulnerability, demonstrating that openness about lived experience enhances (rather than undermines) credibility and trust.
3. Enabling Story Evolution and Ownership
Develop reflective exercises enabling storytellers to review and update their core narratives in line with personal growth—for example, annually rewriting their story as narrated by a third party (e.g., the “Morgan Freeman” perspective mentioned).
Emphasise that stories are not static: empower people to highlight different facets for relevant audiences, reducing the risk of self-limitation.
4. Promoting Curiosity over ‘Right Answers’
Explicitly normalise asking questions, using ground rules in meetings and workshops: “It’s okay not to know, and it’s okay to ask.”
Offer training in respectful cross-cultural and cross-experience curiosity, distinguishing genuine enquiry from microaggressions.
5. Building Pathways to Belonging
Create visible platforms for marginalised voices—guest spots, co-hosting opportunities, or community-curated episodes.
Introduce buddy systems for individuals new to public advocacy, pairing experienced speakers with those developing their voice.
6. Addressing Backlash and Low-Level Toxicity
Deliver training on constructive bystander intervention and solidarity so that those witnessing hostility know how to offer support in the moment (not only after the fact).
Provide practical toolkits for managing abuse—sample responses, digital safeguarding tactics, and emotional compartmentalisation techniques (e.g., “graffiti model” from the episode).
7. Mitigating Isolation in Advocacy Roles
Set up peer-support networks or reflective supervision for advocates, recognising the risk of emotional overload.
Acknowledge and rotate advocacy roles in organisations to prevent ‘community spokespeople’ being continuously overburdened.
8. Countering Mental Health Stigma
Challenge casual language and educate on the reality of conditions like OCD through internal campaigns and speaker panels.
Support lived-experience speakers with resources distinguishing typical behaviours from clinical diagnoses, helping attendees recognise and take mental health concerns seriously.
Closing Reflection
Can open storytelling coexist with professionalism? What would inclusion look like if everyone was encouraged to make their narratives a ‘work in progress’? By integrating the lived lessons from this episode, organisations and individuals can move from mere performative inclusion to genuine, sustainable change—one story at a time.
For further support or to share experiences around these challenges, listeners are encouraged to reach out to Joanne Lockwood via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or engage with the Inclusion Bites community at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.
#InclusionBites #Storytelling #MentalHealth #Belonging #Vulnerability
Questions Asked that were insightful
Absolutely, the transcript of this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast provides a rich seam of questions and responses that lend themselves beautifully to an engaging FAQ series. Below, I’ve distilled key questions and paired them with particularly nuanced or thought-provoking responses from the conversation between Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston. These can easily serve as the foundation for an FAQ resource for your listeners and wider community.
Frequently Asked Questions: The Power of Honest Storytelling
1. Why is honest storytelling such a powerful tool for connection in professional and personal settings?
Nick Elston explains that sharing one’s own story with authenticity and vulnerability acts as a “bridge of trust and connection and depth with people far more than any superficial message.” Vulnerability dismantles barriers, prompting reciprocal sharing and strengthening bonds within organisations and communities.
2. Can repeatedly telling your own story become emotionally draining or counterproductive?
Both Joanne and Nick reflect that frequently revisiting your own narrative can anchor you in the past and may even make it harder to move forward. Nick highlights, “before your story starts to own you again,” it’s vital to let your narrative evolve with you, viewing your journey as a “work in progress,” thus protecting your own wellbeing while remaining authentic.
3. Is it necessary to share every detail of your story, or can you adapt for context?
Joanne emphasises that storytelling often requires adaptation: “you have to use a facsimile of your story that is relevant to the audience without necessarily being the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” The relevance and impact for the audience matter more than exhaustive detail.
4. How do you balance vulnerability with self-protection when sharing difficult experiences?
Nick recommends narrating your story as if an external narrator (like Morgan Freeman) were describing your life; this reframes the experience from the audience’s perspective and provides a level of emotional distance to help safeguard your wellbeing.
5. Why does belonging emerge as a universal thread through so many challenges discussed in DEI?
Nick identifies belonging as “the common factor… it affects our sense of belonging enough to feel that we’re marginalised, enough to not have a platform, to not have a voice.” The struggle for belonging unites many otherwise disparate experiences of marginalisation.
6. How should one handle resistance or negative reactions when speaking about sensitive inclusion topics?
Both guests agree that the key is not to “tell you what to do, think, or say” but “turn some lights on, push the button, and encourage you to think.” Nick observes that those most resistant initially often later express that they have learnt the most, particularly when addressed with empathy and curiosity rather than confrontation.
7. What advice can you offer to those experiencing pushback or hostility, especially in public or professional forums?
Joanne mentions anticipating a baseline of 15% of any group possibly holding dissenting views, and recommends “don’t engage the trolls” and always having a personal strategy to manage such interactions, prioritising energy and wellbeing.
8. Can you explain OCD and how it’s commonly misunderstood?
Nick clarifies that OCD is far more serious than being fastidious—“it’s very painful, frustrating… the ultimate pursuit of the uncontrollable”—and separates it from pop culture misunderstandings. He discusses intrusive thoughts, compulsions, and the damaging effects on daily life.
9. How can one reframe persistent anxiety or catastrophic thinking?
Nick shares his practice of keeping a “worry journal” to reality-check anxious thoughts, regularly discovering that most fears never materialise. He advocates for “setting out on a mission to prove yourself wrong”—a mindset echoing scientific enquiry.
10. What is the role of lived experience in driving engagement with inclusion and mental health initiatives?
Lived experience, as discussed by Nick, is described as “the perfect vehicle to drive engagement to help, or to solutions or insights or community, but it’s not the answer.” The role of the storyteller is to encourage curiosity and connection, not to act as the ultimate authority on complex lived realities.
These questions and responses not only reflect the depth of the episode but also provide practical guidance and reassurance for anyone grappling with honest storytelling, inclusion work, or personal adversity. They would certainly make a compelling FAQ feature for your podcast audience.
Blog article based on the episode
The Power of Honest Storytelling: Transforming Inclusion from Dialogue to Action
“Humans are essentially good. Go figure. Who knew? Humans do want to support you if you only tell them what you need.” — Nick Elston
In an era saturated with surface-level conversation, endless online debates, and the temptation to avoid discomfort at all costs, honest storytelling emerges as a quietly radical act. In The Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, “The Power of Honest Storytelling”, host Joanne Lockwood is joined by the dynamic Nick Elston, keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. Together, they unpick not only the mechanics but the profound transformative power of sharing your true story—warts, wonders, and all—in the relentless drive towards inclusion and belonging.
The Unseen Challenge: Who Gets to Be Vulnerable?
Storytelling, especially about lived experience, is regularly positioned as the key to empathy and connection. Yet, what is rarely discussed is who gets to tell their story safely—and more crucially, who feels able to tell it honestly. As Nick reflects, his own journey through OCD and Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) was initially stifled by stigma and societal reticence. In professional settings, speaking with authenticity was once near taboo—now it can still be risky, but conversely, ignoring the ‘story behind your job title’ risks inauthenticity and disconnection.
Beyond stigma, there is the peril of the story owning you. Joanne and Nick both raise a critical dilemma: If you continually retell your most vulnerable experiences, especially before you have scarred over the wounds, you risk living backwards and letting the narrative ossify you. Consider: are you sharing for catharsis, for connection, or are you unwittingly trapping yourself in a recursive loop?
From Narrative Exposure to Narrative Evolution
So how does one move from simply telling a personal tale to leveraging lived experience as a force for change? Nick offers a striking insight—let your story evolve with you.
“If we start to see our story as a work in progress, we’re not constantly reaffirming the story that we told initially.”
The concept is as simple as it is profound. Telling your story isn’t a static act or a rigid monologue; it’s about adjusting, reframing, and contextualising so your vulnerability remains both real and safe—for you and the audience. As Joanne puts it, “speak from the scar, not the wound.” This means only sharing when you’re in a position to do so healthily, and always adapting to the audience’s needs. Authenticity does not demand emotional self-harm.
The Problem: Inclusion, Curiosity and Cancel Culture
Central to this episode is a critique of the current conversational climate. Both guests highlight how the culture of shaming, polarisation, and instant judgment is silencing healthy curiosity and stopping many from asking necessary—if awkward—questions. Nick identifies that belonging is the unifying thread across all diversity dimensions, yet there is growing fear around ‘getting it wrong’ or ‘being cancelled’.
If even the bravest champions are wary of sharing honestly or asking questions, what hope does this leave for those less confident or less resourced?
Actionable Steps: Building Bridges through Honest Storytelling
See Your Story as an Evolution:
Recognise that your experiences, however traumatic or powerful, are not static. Reflect on what parts are helpful to share, and with whom. Regularly update your narrative to reflect your growth and new perspectives.Prioritise the Audience’s Needs:
As Nick wisely observes, “after fifteen minutes…they’re gonna want to know what’s in it for them.” When telling your story, focus on how your experience can inspire, inform, or equip listeners for their own journeys.Practical tip: Try the ‘Morgan Freeman exercise’: write your story as if a third person is narrating. This shift in viewpoint protects you emotionally and better illustrates the value to the audience.
Fact-Check Your Internal Narrative
Nick shares how obsessive anxieties often created a false script in his head—none of which ever actually became reality. Pause and interrogate the ‘stories’ you tell yourself, especially about your worth or what others are thinking.Practical tip: Maintain a ‘worry journal’. Return in a fortnight and count how many concerns actually manifested.
Invite, Rather Than Demand, Change
Storytelling shouldn't be about converting or chastising your audience. Joanne shares her approach: illuminate possibilities, share perspectives, and encourage reflective thinking without forcing agreement. This fosters genuine personal change, not reluctant compliance.Create Compassionate Curiosity
Foster environments—online or offline—where questions are welcomed, not punished. Both host and guest note that asking is not always about challenging; often it's about understanding.Practical tip: When discussing identity, refrain from demanding justifications. As Joanne says, “It just is.” Accept that some experiences are beyond your personal comprehension, and that’s acceptable.
Safeguard Emotional Energy
Champions of vulnerable storytelling—especially those representing marginalised identities—must be mindful not to exhaust themselves. Notice when you need to step back or seek support.
The Solution: Belonging, Not Performance
Fundamentally, honest storytelling is not a performance piece; it’s a relational act. The episode’s guests remind us that vulnerability, when judicious and audience-centred, is the bridge to authentic inclusion. Nobody has to share every wound or prove credibility for a seat at the table—the aim is to enable others to feel seen, heard, and respected.
Moreover, as Nick powerfully underlines, from ultimate chaos can come magic—if given space, acceptance, and evolution. Every time a speaker is met with empathy rather than eye-rolls or challenge, the culture of belonging strengthens.
Call to Action
If today’s episode, “The Power of Honest Storytelling”, struck a chord with you—reflect. When did you last tell the full truth of your experience? Are you making space for evolution, both for yourself and those around you? What steps can you take, however small, to create safer, more curiosity-rich spaces within your sphere of influence?
Start by sharing this post. Talk honestly in your next meeting. Invite a colleague or friend to recount their journey—from the scar, not the wound. If you’re ready for deeper change, reach out to Joanne Lockwood or listen in to further episodes at Inclusion Bites. Let's amplify honest voices—one bold conversation at a time.
—
With gratitude to Nick Elston for his vulnerability, wisdom, and the inspiration for this blog. Listen to “The Power of Honest Storytelling” now and ignite your own journey towards authentic inclusion.
The standout line from this episode
The standout line from this episode is:
"If we start to see our story as a work in progress, we're not constantly kind of reaffirming the story that we told initially." – Nick Elston
This perfectly encapsulates the episode’s central theme: the transformative power of honest, evolving storytelling and how embracing vulnerability authentically builds deeper connections and creates positive change.
❓ Questions
Certainly! Here are 10 thoughtfully crafted discussion questions based on the episode "The Power of Honest Storytelling" from The Inclusion Bites Podcast:
How does Nick Elston describe the transformative power of vulnerability in storytelling, particularly within professional environments, and what barriers does he believe exist when people first open up?
Joanne and Nick discuss the evolution of one’s personal narrative. How can a story adapt over time without losing its core authenticity, and what risks arise from repeatedly recounting challenging personal experiences?
What is meant by ‘speaking from the scar, not the wound’? How does this principle influence the way we share deeply personal stories with others?
Nick addresses the difference between telling a story from the first-person perspective and having an ‘external narrator’ such as Morgan Freeman. Why might shifting perspective help both the speaker and the audience?
How do the hosts characterise the importance of ‘belonging’ as a common thread running through diverse lived experiences such as gender identity, race, and mental health?
Both Joanne and Nick touch on the challenge of engaging with audiences or individuals who may initially be resistant or antagonistic. What effective strategies are presented in the episode for creating connection and fostering honest dialogue in those moments?
In the discussion, social media is addressed as both a source of anxiety and a means of community. What guidance or reflections did the speakers share about healthy engagement with digital platforms whilst maintaining wellbeing?
Joanne highlights the difficulties faced when managing reactions to her story, including vitriol and personal attacks. How does she frame her approach to handling negativity and maintaining resilience?
Nick talks candidly about living with OCD and anxiety. How does his explanation broaden understanding beyond the common misconceptions, and what does this reveal about the language used around mental health?
What role does curiosity play in fostering inclusion, as discussed in the episode, and how can individuals balance the fear of ‘saying the wrong thing’ with the need to ask authentic questions?
These questions are designed to provoke deeper reflection on the episode’s insights and the broader themes of honest storytelling, vulnerability, resilience, and fostering inclusive environments.
FAQs from the Episode
FAQ: The Power of Honest Storytelling — Inclusion Bites Podcast, Episode 160
1. What is meant by “honest storytelling” in the context of inclusion and belonging?
Honest storytelling involves sharing one’s personal journey, challenges, and breakthroughs with authenticity and vulnerability. On this episode, Nick Elston explains that speaking without a filter and turning vulnerability into a tool can foster trust and forge deep connections within professional and personal spaces. The focus is on narrating lived experiences in a way that connects with others, sparking empathy and understanding.
2. How can personal stories help drive inclusion in the workplace?
Sharing authentic experiences allows individuals to find common ground, creating a bridge of trust. Joanne and Nick highlight that when people courageously open up, others often feel inspired to share their stories too, which breaks down barriers and promotes a sense of belonging. Storytelling transforms hidden struggles into widely understood issues, supporting a culture where diverse voices are heard and valued.
3. How do you balance authenticity with emotional wellbeing when sharing vulnerable stories?
Nick describes the importance of ensuring one speaks from a place of “the scar, not the wound.” Storytellers should be mindful of their emotional state, ensuring they are not retraumatising themselves by repeatedly recounting painful events. He suggests viewing one’s story as an evolving narrative, adapting as the storyteller grows and learns, ensuring both authenticity and emotional safety.
4. Why is it important to make your personal story relevant to the audience?
Both speakers acknowledge that audiences are ultimately interested in what value a story brings to them. Nick advises narrators to shift from simply reeling off life events to focusing on the impact, learnings, and practical takeaways for listeners. Framing stories from a third-person perspective (think Morgan Freeman narrating your life) can help create emotional distance while highlighting the broader significance.
5. Can repeated storytelling risk trapping someone in their past?
Yes, both Joanne and Nick observe that without care, repeatedly telling the same origin story can anchor you in history and prevent personal growth. To avoid this, continually update your story to reflect your evolving understanding and to focus on how past experiences inform present actions and future aspirations.
6. Do all people respond positively to personal stories about difference?
Not always. Nick and Joanne discuss the reality of resistance or even hostility, particularly in professional or less inclusive settings. However, they assert that many who are initially sceptical or distant can become the most engaged, often approaching privately after a talk to share their own challenges. The act of honest storytelling itself builds credibility and opens doors to deeper connection.
7. How do you cope with negative pushback or hate when speaking out about identity or inclusion?
Joanne uses the metaphor of graffiti—treating negative comments as mindless noise not directed at her personally. She argues that resilience can be maintained by remembering that opposition often says more about the other person than yourself, and that persistent toxic engagement should not be fuelled by arguing with trolls or detractors.
8. What is Nick Elston’s experience with OCD and how does it inform his approach to storytelling?
Nick describes living with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) since childhood, clarifying that it’s much more than being neat or orderly. For him, OCD involved anxiety-driven rituals rooted in a need to prevent harm. He uses his lived experience not to offer clinical advice, but to create empathy and understanding, helping others articulate and own their own stories in a supportive environment.
9. How should organisations approach the stories of their people to sustain inclusive cultures?
Simply inviting “diverse” individuals to retell trauma is insufficient—organisations must provide psychologically safe spaces and adapt to the evolving stories of their teams. Joanne urges leaders to focus on nurturing belonging and treating storytelling as an ongoing, dynamic process that drives not only awareness but genuine inclusion.
10. What role does curiosity and questioning play in advancing inclusion?
Nick argues for the right to ask better questions of each other from a place of curiosity, not judgement, even when there’s a risk of “getting it wrong.” Avoiding dialogue out of fear of saying the wrong thing ultimately perpetuates misunderstanding. Inclusive cultures thrive when people seek genuine understanding, with both vulnerability and humility.
11. How can speakers avoid being defined solely by their adversity?
Nick and Joanne emphasise the importance of presenting one’s story as multifaceted, not allowing a single challenge or label to become one’s entire identity. Stories should showcase both adversity and growth, highlighting resilience and broader contributions, helping audiences appreciate the full value of every individual.
12. Where can listeners find out more or get involved with Inclusion Bites?
You can listen to more Inclusion Bites episodes or get in touch to share your story at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen or by contacting Joanne Lockwood directly at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
This FAQ draws on the key insights and themes from Episode 160 of Inclusion Bites, “The Power of Honest Storytelling,” exploring the transformative potential of sharing lived experience to advance inclusion, belonging, and meaningful change.
Tell me more about the guest and their views
The guest for this episode, Nick Elston, is a keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People. He’s well-recognised for his dedication to empowering others to embrace their voice and share their stories, fostering meaningful connections through truly authentic communication.
Nick’s ethos centres around the transformative power of vulnerability and honest storytelling. Drawing on his own lived experience of mental health challenges—including obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)—he explains how his journey shaped his views on authenticity. Initially, Nick managed his conditions in silence, running at a high state of burnout until a breakdown in 2012 proved a turning point. He began using public speaking as a form of therapy and quickly saw the benefits, not only for himself but for creating trust and connection with his audience.
A core pillar of Nick’s approach is that sharing one’s personal story, in an honest and vulnerable way, builds bridges of trust deeper than any superficial communications found in professional environments. He points out that, far from making him weaker, expressing vulnerability in his talks has helped others open up, too. Nick highlights that honest storytelling acts as a catalyst for connection and transformation, not simply a confessional act.
However, Nick also reflects critically on the dangers of “living in the past” if we become stuck in our own story—he advocates for viewing one’s story as an evolving narrative, which changes over time together with new insights, changing contexts, and personal growth. He encourages storytellers to adapt their narratives to suit their audience and emphasises that the real value lies in how experiences can inspire and guide others, not just the recounting of events.
Nick touches candidly on the social aspects of speaking up—remarking that people inherently seek commonality and connection. He observes that those who have experienced marginalisation, trauma, or significant change often gravitate towards helping others find their voice, but he issues a word of caution around burnout and absorbing others’ burdens.
A particularly interesting aspect of Nick’s philosophy is his rejection of the performative culture often found on social media and within scripted public speaking. He prefers authentic, in-the-moment connection—crafted with the audience in mind (even encouraging people to narrate their life story as if voiced by Morgan Freeman, to achieve the right level of detachment and protect their own wellbeing).
Nick is also passionate about enabling curiosity in others. He stresses the importance of asking questions freely, learning from lived experience, and moving away from fear of “cancel culture.” The willingness to express, question, and sometimes to be challenged, strengthens both individuals and the wider collective understanding of inclusion and belonging.
In summary, Nick Elston espouses vulnerability as strength, storytelling as a vehicle for positive change, and connection as the ultimate goal. His views echo the ethos of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, providing authentic, actionable insights for anyone seeking to develop inclusion, mental health understanding, and community in personal or professional environments. If you’re curious to learn more about his work, Nick can be found at nickelston.com and on LinkedIn for further insights and connections.
Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode
Certainly! Drawing from the episode “The Power of Honest Storytelling” featuring Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston, here are well-grounded ideas for future training and workshops that address key themes, developmental needs, and actionable strategies raised in the conversation. Each concept is rooted specifically in the real stories, challenges, and learnings discussed in the episode.
1. The Art and Impact of Honest Storytelling
Overview:
Facilitate an immersive workshop exploring how authentic storytelling – especially involving vulnerability – leads to greater trust, empathy, and inclusion within organisations.
Core Activities:
Crafting “scar, not wound” narratives (sharing stories from a healed perspective)
Audience mapping: Adapting stories for relevance and impact
Exploring the evolution of personal stories and their use in professional settings
2. Turning Vulnerability into Strength
Overview:
Based on Nick Elston’s superpower, this workshop addresses how individuals can safely harness their vulnerabilities as a catalyst for connection and positive organisational change.
Core Activities:
Identifying personal vulnerabilities and their transformative potential
Managing boundary setting and self-care when sharing lived experience
Techniques for avoiding ‘story ownership’ fatigue
3. Building Empathy Bridges: Shared Experience and Belonging
Overview:
Encourage participants to explore the common threads of marginalisation, challenge stereotypes, and build deeper empathy by finding shared lived experiences, even across very different backgrounds.
Core Activities:
Belonging exercises: Finding common ground
Empathy mapping and narrative roleplay
Addressing the “membership card” to the club of vulnerability
4. Storytelling for Professional Impact: Moving from Personal to Audience Value
Overview:
Equip professionals and leaders with strategies to translate personal journeys into universal lessons, ensuring audience-centric communication as discussed by both speakers.
Core Activities:
The Morgan Freeman exercise: Shifting from first-person to objective narratives
Extracting transferable value and lessons from lived experience
Practising adapting stories for different audiences and organisational contexts
5. Managing Adversity, Backlash, and Low-Level Toxicity
Overview:
Provide practical tools for engaging with resistance, dealing with pushback, and managing personal well-being amid public or organisational scrutiny.
Core Activities:
Handling ‘arms folded’ audiences: persuasive communication drills
De-personalising hostility: reframing and resilience techniques (the graffiti metaphor)
Peer support and debrief protocols
6. Lived Experience as a Driver for Inclusion Programmes
Overview:
A training track for HR/D&I professionals on integrating personal and collective lived experiences into policymaking and staff engagement without over-burdening or ‘othering’ individuals.
Core Activities:
Ethics and boundaries in sharing lived experience
Leveraging lived experience for co-designed inclusion strategies
Recognising and supporting emotional labour among diversity champions
7. Narrative Wellbeing: Mental Health, OCD, and Narrative Therapy
Overview:
Deep-dive into understanding OCD, anxiety, and other mental health experiences as described by Nick Elston. Provide skills for supportive conversations and self-management through narrative.
Core Activities:
Understanding the difference between clinical and colloquial uses of mental health terminology
Techniques for narrative reframing and anxiety “fact-checking”
Creating personal worry journals and resilience plans
8. Facilitating Difficult Conversations and Questioning with Respect
Overview:
A practical workshop on asking (and handling) difficult questions without fear—enabling curiosity, growth, and respectful challenge within psychologically safe environments.
Core Activities:
Socratic questioning practice (for both allies and lived experience holders)
Boundary articulation: “I don’t owe you an argument” scripts
Roleplay for respectful conflict navigation
9. Digital Boundaries: Surviving and Thriving in the Era of Social Media Opinion
Overview:
Exploring personal and organisational approaches to managing exposure, anxiety, and echo chambers in the digital sphere.
Core Activities:
Social media footprint audits and personal risk planning
Building positive digital communities and cultures
Graffiti vs. engagement: Deciding when to respond or detach
10. Evolving Your Story as a Change Agent
Overview:
A masterclass in growing and shaping your narrative as your experiences, audiences, and objectives evolve over time.
Core Activities:
Timeline mapping: Story evolution exercise
Reviewing feedback and adjusting your advocacy or educational approach
Balancing consistency with dynamic authenticity
For All Workshops:
Encourage ongoing peer communities for support and co-development
Integrate lived case studies and bring in guest speakers for added authenticity
Employ reflective practice as a core methodological tool
Each of these training and workshop ideas is drawn directly from the rich, candid dialogue in the episode, offering organisations and individuals actionable pathways to harness honest storytelling to ignite inclusion, resilience, and positive change.
For further discussion or bespoke workshop development, contact Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or visit Inclusion Bites Podcast.
🪡 Threads by Instagram
Honest storytelling can be a bridge to connection and belonging. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it's a path to deeper understanding and community. Your story evolves with you; never underestimate its power.
When you share lived experience, you’re not just reliving your past. It’s a catalyst for change, connection, and growth—for yourself and your audience. Keep your story authentic, keep it moving forward.
Speaking out can feel risky, especially in rooms full of sceptics. But sometimes, the most rigid critics are the ones who reflect, engage quietly, and even transform. Change begins with awkward questions.
We all hold opinions, but real inclusion means challenging our own narratives and embracing the discomfort. The strongest voices create space for dialogue, not division—curiosity makes us better.
Empathy is built through shared vulnerability. Whether it’s mental health, identity, or personal challenge—when we share, we invite others to do the same. Community grows when stories are exchanged, not just told.
Leadership Insights - YouTube Short Video Script on Common Problems for Leaders to Address
Leadership Insights Channel: Harnessing the Power of Honest Storytelling
Ever felt like your team just isn’t connecting—or that crucial topics remain stuck beneath the surface? Here’s a common challenge for leaders: fostering genuine trust and engagement amongst your people.
Too often, leaders shy away from sharing their own stories, fearing that vulnerability may make them appear weak or expose them to criticism. The result? Disconnection, lack of trust, and a culture where people hesitate to speak up or bring their full selves to work.
Let’s flip that narrative. When leaders speak honestly about their own journeys—challenges, mistakes, and growth—they build a bridge of trust. People see the real human behind the title, and suddenly, others start to share too. That is how true inclusion and belonging flourish.
Here’s what you can do:
Share your own experiences with authenticity—don’t wait for perfection.
Focus on what you learnt, not just what happened.
Encourage others by responding with empathy, not judgement.
Make it standard practice to listen deeply, creating a space where everyone’s stories matter.
The bottom line? When you lead with honest storytelling and authentic curiosity, your team feels empowered, loyalty grows, and innovation follows. Try opening up in your next team meeting and see how quickly others start to connect.
Subscribe for more leadership tips from the Leadership Insights Channel!
SEO Optimised Titles
7 Ways Honest Storytelling Powers Inclusion and Belonging | Insights from 160 Episodes | Nick @ Forging People
From Burnout to Global Keynotes | 1 Storytelling Strategy that Builds Trust at Work | Nick @ Forging People
80 Percent of Find Your Voice Attendees Are Women | Breaking Barriers in Speaking and Belonging | Nick @ Forging People
Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode
Subject: New Episode! The Power of Honest Storytelling – Why Your Truth Matters 🎙️
Hello Inclusion Bites Community,
Ready for a fresh serving of inspiration? The latest episode of Inclusion Bites has just dropped, and it’s a lively, heartfelt dive into the world of honest storytelling. Joanne Lockwood chats with the brilliant Nick Elston about how vulnerability, authenticity, and finding your voice can spark genuine change—in ourselves, our workplaces, and wider society.
Whether you’re walking the dog, headed to work, or curled up with a brew, this is the episode you won’t want to miss.
5 Keys You’ll Learn from This Episode:
Embracing Vulnerability as Strength: Nick explores how sharing personal setbacks and mental health struggles (including his journey with OCD and anxiety) can actually empower deeper human connection.
Evolving Your Story: Learn why your story doesn’t have to stay static. Adapt it, let it grow, and use it to connect meaningfully with different audiences.
Speaking “from the Scar, Not the Wound”: Discover the art of sharing lived experience in a way that’s powerful and safe—for both yourself and your listeners.
Building Belonging through Honest Conversations: Hear how storytelling breaks barriers, creates empathy, and is at the heart of nurturing inclusive spaces.
Managing (and Challenging) Hostility: Both Joanne and Nick open up about tackling “the tough room” and handling uncomfortable questions, showing that even resistance can be transformed into learning.
Unique Fact from the Episode:
Did you know Nick keeps a “worry journal”? After a breakdown in 2012, he listed his anxieties—and discovered that not one of them actually happened. This little exercise became a game-changer in how he tackled anxiety and reshaped his narrative.
Want to Take Part?
Feeling inspired? Share your own story or thoughts! Joanne welcomes listeners to reach out—maybe you’ll join her on a future episode. Simply drop an email to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to join the conversation.
Ready to listen? Tune in to “The Power of Honest Storytelling” here.
Let’s End Boldly
Authenticity isn’t just refreshing—it’s radical. With every story shared, we chip away at stigma, isolation, and misunderstanding. If this podcast made you pause, reflect, or smile, why not forward it to someone else who needs a dose of real talk?
Catch you next time for another episode that equips, challenges and brings us closer to a world where everyone belongs.
To bold voices and richer stories,
The Inclusion Bites Team
#InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences
Potted Summary
Episode Intro
In this episode of Inclusion Bites, Joanne Lockwood welcomes keynote speaker and transformational coach Nick Elston for an honest discussion about the role of vulnerability and authentic storytelling in fostering genuine connection and belonging. Together, they explore the impact of lived experience on professional and personal growth, the nuances of mental health narratives, and how finding your voice can challenge societal taboos and inspire transformative change.
In this conversation we discuss
👉 Honest storytelling
👉 Lived experience
👉 Finding your voice
Here are a few of our favourite quotable moments
“You can only spend so long speaking about your story, especially professionally, before your story starts to own you again.”
“The first ten seconds of any interaction with anybody, the two things that people strive for are commonality and community.”
“If you share your experiences and your stories unfiltered with honesty, you build trust and rapport with people instantly.”
Summary
Delve into the transformative power of authentic narratives with Joanne and Nick as they unpack vulnerability, the evolving nature of personal stories, and the importance of fostering belonging. Ready to ignite meaningful change through real conversations? Listen now to this compelling episode of Inclusion Bites and join the movement towards a more inclusive world.
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Opening Summary:
In this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood and guest Nick Elston explore the real impact of honest storytelling in fostering inclusion and belonging. Nick shares how embracing vulnerability, evolving your story, and connecting authentically can break down barriers and inspire real change in workplaces and communities. Their conversation touches on using lived experience as a bridge to empathy, tackling taboos, and the emotional labour involved in being visible and authentic. Reflecting on their discussion, we're curious: what do you see as the most powerful outcome of sharing your own honest story at work or in your community?
Poll Question:
What is the greatest benefit of honest storytelling in driving inclusion? 🤔
Poll Options:
Builds trust & connection 🤝
Reduces stigma & taboos 🚫
Sparks cultural change 🌍
Empowers others to share 💬
Why Vote:
Your vote highlights what truly matters in today’s inclusive environments and can help leaders focus on what makes the biggest difference. Join the conversation and let's shape more authentic, human workplaces together! #InclusionBites #Storytelling #Belonging #DEI #Leadership
Highlight the Importance of this topic on LinkedIn
Just listened to Episode 160 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, “The Power of Honest Storytelling” with Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston, and it’s an absolute must for every HR, People Leader and EDI professional. 🎧✨
Authentic storytelling and embracing vulnerability aren’t just soft skills—they’re strategic essentials. Today’s conversation highlighted:
💬 The strength in sharing lived experience
🤝 How honest vulnerability can foster genuine workplace trust
👏 The value of viewing our personal stories as evolving, not static
🌍 Why embracing difference is the cornerstone of true belonging
Nick’s insight into using narrative as a tool for inclusion, and Joanne’s masterful approach to empathy, reminded me that it’s not about ticking boxes—it’s about turning experience into action and creating spaces where every voice is valued.
These are the raw, honest discussions we NEED to drive culture change in our organisations.
Let’s keep the conversation going—how do you create space for honest storytelling in your teams?
#InclusionBites #Inclusion #Belonging #EDI #Leadership #Storytelling #SeeChangeHappen
L&D Insights
Absolutely, here's a concise, actionable synthesis tailored for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI professionals drawing on "The Power of Honest Storytelling" episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast:
Key Insights for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI Professionals 🎙️🙌
1. Honest Storytelling Breeds Trust and Connection
Both Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston emphasise that sharing lived experiences—complete with vulnerability and authenticity—breaks down professional barriers and fosters genuine inclusion.
A story, especially when shared from the “scar not the wound”, can become a bridge with your team, helping employees feel truly seen and heard.
2. Evolving Your Narrative Prevents Stagnation
Repeatedly telling the same story risks becoming stuck in the past or defined by adversity. Professionals must continually reflect and reshape their narratives to ensure relevance and emotional safety.
Encourage a dynamic approach to storytelling—adapt your message to meet people where they are, as “one size never fits all.”
3. Vulnerability Builds Belonging—but with Boundaries
The episode underscores the power of showing vulnerability at work: it humanises leaders and dismantles the stigma around mental health, difference, and adversity.
Tailor how much you share; balance openness with emotional safeguarding, especially when championing EDI causes as lived experience can increase personal risk of burnout or vicarious trauma.
4. Audience-Centric Communication Changes Minds
Great storytellers focus less on their own journey and more on what their audience will take from it. As Nick advises: “People don’t really want to be walked through the pain—they want to know how you came through and what you learnt.”
Employ empathy and humility: “Treat your story as an evolution,” and acknowledge that what resonates with you may not be what shifts the needle for your audience.
5. Inclusion Requires Active Curiosity, Not Passive Agreement
Fear of saying the wrong thing, driven by “cancel culture”, creates silence instead of learning. This podcast advocates inviting questions and fostering psychological safety to explore uncomfortable topics.
Equip managers with skills to challenge, not cancel; to seek understanding, not blind agreement or disagreement.
Aha moments 💡
Storytelling is not just a leadership or comms exercise—it’s therapeutic and community-building, unlocking conversations that surface hidden marginalisation or challenge long-held biases.
“No one cares as much as we think they do”—shape your D&I communications around impact, not ego or completeness.
‘Changing minds’ isn’t always about being right, but about illuminating new perspectives and allowing space for disagreement safely.
The risk of burnout is higher for those with lived experience—those “flying the flag” must be mindful to protect their own energy and boundaries.
Inclusion work is about turning on the light, not demanding everyone change—lead; don’t lecture.
What to Do Differently 🛠️
Prioritise lived experience voices in your programmes and platforms, but support them with trauma-informed practices.
Normalize reflective storytelling workshops with staff to humanise workplaces and break down us-vs-them barriers.
Train leaders to embrace not-knowing: encourage questions, foster discussion, and counter “echo chambers.”
Assess your inclusion initiatives—are they a “tick box,” or do they address real feelings of belonging and psychological safety?
Model vulnerability: Share stories of failure, change, or learning with appropriate boundaries, setting the stage for authentic dialogue across your teams.
💬 In short:
Include stories, not just strategies. Make space for messiness. Evolve your message. Lead with vulnerability—but mind your wellbeing. Measure progress by transformation in understanding and dialogue—not just attendance or policy.
#InclusionBites #VulnerableLeadership #EDIImpact #StorytellingForChange #BelongingAtWork
Shorts Video Script
Attention-Grabbing Title:
Unlocking the Power of Honest Storytelling for True Inclusion #StorytellingForChange
Suggested Hashtags:
#InclusionMatters #AuthenticVoices #Belonging #StorytellingPower #VulnerabilityWins
Text on screen: Honest Storytelling for Inclusion 🗣️
Ever wondered why honest storytelling is so powerful for creating true inclusion and belonging? Let’s dig into actionable insights you can use right now.
Text on screen: Vulnerability Connects Us 🌉
Honest storytelling isn’t just about sharing facts—it’s about being vulnerable. When you share your real journey, including struggles and triumphs, it opens up trust and genuine connection. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. In fact, it’s often the biggest strength you can bring to the table.
Text on screen: Your Story is an Evolution 📖
Remember, your story isn’t static. It grows and changes with you. Don’t feel pressured to repeat it the same way every time. Adapt it to your audience and your own growth. The scars you speak from can be guides for others, but don’t let your story own you.
Text on screen: Seek Commonality & Community 🤝
The first thing people look for in any interaction? Commonality and community. When you share your experience, focus on how it can resonate with others—even if their life is completely different. Shared vulnerability forms a bridge of empathy and understanding.
Text on screen: Ask, Listen, Evolve 🧠
It’s ok not to have every answer. Embrace curiosity and be willing to ask questions. You don’t need opinions on everything; sometimes, listening is the most powerful tool for inclusion.
Text on screen: Setting Boundaries Matters 🛡️
Protect your energy. Whether you’re speaking, coaching, or just sharing, know your limits—set boundaries to preserve your wellbeing. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Text on screen: Leave Everyone Feeling Seen ✨
It’s not just about what you say, but how you make people feel. Create space for others to feel valued, respected, and understood. That’s how real change begins.
Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨
Glossary of Terms and Phrases
Certainly! Here’s a list of the less commonly used concepts, terms, and phrases from this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast (“The Power of Honest Storytelling”), along with the definitions as implied or exemplified within the discussion:
1. Vulnerability as a Tool for Connection
Definition: Deliberately exposing personal feelings or life experiences in order to foster genuine human connection and build trust, particularly in professional or community settings.
2. Honest Storytelling
Definition: Sharing one’s true lived experiences, including the emotional elements, scars, and growth, rather than curating or sanitising the narrative. It’s about being open even when the story is uncomfortable.
3. Speaking “from the scar, not the wound”
Definition: The principle of sharing stories or past traumas only once a level of healing has occurred, rather than narrating events that are still emotionally raw. This ensures psychological safety for both storyteller and audience.
4. Lived Experience
Definition: The knowledge and insights gained from direct, personal involvement in events or circumstances (as opposed to academic, clinical, or second-hand knowledge).
5. Narrative Ownership
Definition: Taking control over one’s own personal story and its telling, rather than allowing the story (often involving trauma or adversity) to control or define one’s entire identity.
6. Belonging
Definition: A core concept in inclusion, signifying the feeling of being accepted, valued, and an integral part of a group or community, underpinning most diversity and inclusion work.
7. Commonality and Community (as Social Drivers)
Definition: Fundamental psychological drives that influence people’s desire to relate to and connect with others on shared characteristics or lived experiences, especially in the first moments of any social interaction.
8. Echo Chamber Effect
Definition: The phenomenon of surrounding oneself (especially online) only with those who share one’s views or experiences, which reinforces existing beliefs and diminishes exposure to differing perspectives.
9. Cancel Culture
Definition: A societal dynamic where individuals or organisations are boycotted or ostracised for their views or statements, often fuelling reluctance to engage in open dialogue or ask questions for fear of repercussions.
10. Cis (Prefix)
Definition: Short for “cisgender,” used to describe someone whose gender identity aligns with their sex assigned at birth, contrasted with “transgender.” The episode touches on how this terminology is sometimes contentious.
11. Social Model of Disability
Definition: The framework that locates barriers and challenges not in the individual’s impairment but in societal structures, attitudes, and exclusions.
12. “Feeding the Trolls”
Definition: The act of engaging with individuals (especially online) who are intentionally provocative or hostile, with the advice generally being to avoid giving attention or energy to such provocations.
13. Plan B Card
Definition: A personal coping strategy or Exit Plan the speaker keeps ready in the event of encountering hostility or a challenging audience, to maintain composure and emotional safety.
14. Lived Experience Playbook Tips
Definition: Practical insights or strategies derived from one’s personal journey, offered as subjective tools rather than universal solutions or professional advice.
15. Intrusive Thoughts (in Mental Health Context)
Definition: Unwanted, recurring thoughts or impulses that can be distressing, often associated with conditions like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
16. Fact-Checking One’s Own Anxieties
Definition: A cognitive strategy where individuals test the reality of their anxious thoughts by seeking evidence, thereby learning not all worries materialise.
17. Strong Opinions Weakly Held
Definition: A mindset where one has convictions but remains open to new information and willing to change beliefs if evidence arises to the contrary; a flexible and intellectually humble approach.
18. Spoon Theory
Definition: A metaphor (referenced via “fucks” or “spoons”) originating in the disability community to describe limited personal resources, especially energy, and the need to ration them carefully.
19. Emotional Leadership/Storytelling
Definition: Leading or influencing through authentic sharing of emotion-laden narratives, moving audiences towards reflection and change by making them “feel,” not just imparting information.
20. “Change has to occur in you”
Definition: The notion that transformation (attitudinal, behavioural, or otherwise) can’t be externally imposed, but rather must stem from personal willingness and internal motivation.
These concepts emerge from the conversation and are central to both modern diversity and inclusion work and nuanced discussions around mental health and storytelling. Many are specific to professional practice in EDI (Equality, Diversity & Inclusion), or have a particular technical usage in the disability or psychological communities.
SEO Optimised YouTube Content
Focus Keyword: The Power of Honest Storytelling
Video Title:
The Power of Honest Storytelling: Driving Culture Change for Positive People Experiences | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags:
honest storytelling, inclusion, Positive People Experiences, culture change, diversity, equity, belonging, authentic communication, workplace wellbeing, vulnerability, narrative, HR, leadership, mental health, lived experience, empowerment, storytelling podcast, inclusion podcast, Joanne Lockwood, Nick Elston, SEE Change Happen, transformative conversations, acceptance, courageous conversations, inclusive cultures, creating belonging
Killer Quote:
"Speaking without the filter, speaking with authenticity and vulnerability, builds a bridge of trust and connection and depth with people far more than any superficial message were ever trained to deliver in professional environments." - Nick Elston
Hashtags:
#ThePowerOfHonestStorytelling, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #Inclusion, #Belonging, #AuthenticLeadership, #Storytelling, #Diversity, #Equity, #WorkplaceWellbeing, #Vulnerability, #LivedExperience, #Empowerment, #InclusiveCultures, #Transformation, #Leadership, #SEEChangeHappen, #JoanneLockwood, #NickElston
Why Listen
In this compelling episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, I delve into The Power of Honest Storytelling—the episode is a sanctuary for anyone seeking genuine dialogue about culture change, Positive People Experiences, and the courage it takes to show up with vulnerability. If you’ve ever asked yourself what it truly means to cultivate belonging and transform workplace cultures, this episode with guest Nick Elston is the key you’ve been searching for.
We open the dialogue unpacking what it means to weave honesty and raw lived experience into the stories we share, and how these narratives can serve as a catalyst not just for self-healing, but for real, impactful culture change. Nick is a renowned keynote speaker and transformational speaking coach, best known for empowering people to embrace vulnerability as superpower—turning it into a tool that binds us together, rather than setting us apart.
As I welcome Nick onto the show, we quickly uncover the crux of his philosophy—humans, at their core, are fundamentally wired for connection and kindness. Yet, in the rigid environment of many corporate and organisational settings, these authentic connections often get stifled. Nick’s journey, rooted in his personal experience of navigating mental health challenges such as OCD and generalised anxiety disorder, stands as a testament to the magnitude of culture change possible when people use storytelling to connect on a human, rather than transactional, level.
We move beyond the theory, diving into the practical dynamics of how honest storytelling functions as a driver for Positive People Experiences. Through candid conversation, Nick and I discuss the paradox of sharing our stories: over time, if we aren’t careful, we become so entangled with our past experiences that we risk letting our old narratives define us. As the old adage goes, “Speak from the scar, not from the wound.” The magic happens when we allow our stories to evolve, adapting them to the needs of our audience, never rigid, always honest yet nuanced.
Nick shares a striking insight: our value to others rarely lies in the minutiae of what we’ve been through but in how these experiences have shaped our perspectives, our empathy, and our character. When we use our stories not to relive our pain but as waypoints for collective learning and growth, we become agents of culture change—shifting entire environments toward inclusion, compassion, and resilience.
The episode also explores the delicate terrain of ‘vulnerability as a membership card’. As Nick and I both reflect, once you step forward with authentic vulnerability, others are far more willing to meet you in that space. Suddenly, the walls that so often segregate us—across race, gender identity, ability, or background—begin to crumble. We bond, not over sameness, but through our shared willingness to be real, to say “I get it” even if our stories differ.
In the pursuit of Positive People Experiences and culture change, honest storytelling is revealed as a transformative force. It offers a bridge across generational divides, breaks down taboos, and enables us to ask better questions—inviting curiosity without fear, and giving permission to others to do the same. We also reflect on the challenge of toxic environments, reluctant audiences, and the perennial question: “Should I be in the room where my voice may not be welcomed?” Nick and I reinforce the importance of speaking our truth, even when met with scepticism or resistance—because even if just one mind is opened or one life is touched, it’s worth it.
Listeners will take away actionable strategies on how to cultivate resilience when sharing their story, how to navigate pushback and naysayers, and what it really takes to create inclusive, supportive cultures—from grassroots conversations in the breakroom to boardrooms around the world. This is not just about having an opinion; it’s about creating Positive People Experiences by inviting others in, and role-modelling the culture change we want to see.
Whether you’re an HR leader, a seasoned change agent, or simply someone looking for real talk about what inclusion and belonging energy feels like, this episode invites you to listen, reflect, and move boldly towards a more connected, compassionate future.
Closing Summary and Call to Action
Reflecting on this episode, here are the key learning points and actionable insights:
Harness Honest Storytelling:
Let your story come from a place of authenticity. Real stories connect; they do not isolate. Sharing your vulnerabilities openly leads others to mirror authenticity, fostering an atmosphere of trust and inclusion.
Treat your story as a living entity—let it evolve as you grow, adapt it to your audience, and don’t fear dropping the ‘script’ if the context changes.
Embrace Vulnerability as Strength:
Vulnerability is not weakness; it is the glue for Positive People Experiences and genuine relationships. When culture change is needed, being brave enough to show your uncertainties enables others to do the same and eradicates toxic cultures of perfectionism.
Use lived experience as your “membership card” to connect with others, especially those who may previously have been closed off or sceptical.
Drive Culture Change by Modelling Belonging:
Inclusion is more than a policy—it’s how people act when they feel seen and heard. As Nick says, belonging is the thread that ties together every diversity strand, from mental health to gender identity.
Show up for others with curiosity. Ask questions—not just to debate, but to understand. This prevents the echo chambers that stall culture change and keeps learning alive.
Action Bias Towards Connection Over Correction:
Lead conversations with curiosity, not judgement. When met with resistance or hostility, frame your engagement around education, not shaming. As discussed, change rarely happens by force, but by invitation and modelling.
Remember that some people may require more time and compassion to realign their perspectives; persistence and positivity often win the day.
Challenge Comfort Zones:
Accept that not everyone will welcome you or your story, and that’s okay. Culture change is not a popularity contest—it’s about making sure crucial voices are heard, especially in “difficult rooms”.
Strategically choose when to speak and when to conserve your energy. Know your own limits, and protect your wellbeing when faced with entrenched opposition.
Utilise Storytelling as a Learning Tool:
Treat storytelling as a method for growth—not only for the listener, but for yourself. It is both therapeutic and educational when used intentionally.
Always aim for “scar not wound”—your story is most powerful when you’ve processed enough to reflect and guide, not when it is still too raw.
Balance Professional and Personal Boundaries:
In HR and people environments, be clear about your role—offer support, encourage openness, but know when to refer to professional help.
Build a culture where it’s okay not to have all the answers, and empower others to do the same.
Create Positive People Experiences Through Small Acts:
Impactful change doesn’t only happen at the organisational level—it starts with the everyday interactions. Be kind, be present, and acknowledge others’ realities.
Feedback Loops and Meaningful Impact:
Welcome feedback from your audience. Recognise that every interaction is a learning opportunity, and occasionally, the toughest crowd contains your strongest future advocates.
Be The Change:
Lead with energy. Whether you’re lighting up a room or turning on a single lightbulb for someone, your honest presence can catalyse enormous impact.
Understand that culture change is a journey, not a one-off event. Keep sharing your story, keep evolving, and keep championing Positive People Experiences wherever you go.
Call to Action:
Take the courage to share your honest story—whether with a colleague, in a team meeting, or on your own journey of self-reflection.
Foster cultures where others feel safe to be vulnerable; challenge yourself to cultivate Positive People Experiences in each interaction.
Champion culture change not just in words but in deeds—be the role model, ask better questions, and invite others to journey with you.
Subscribe to this channel, share this episode with others, and visit the inclusion resources linked below to continue your learning and self-development.
Outro
Thank you, the listener, for investing your time with us on the Inclusion Bites Podcast. Your engagement fuels these bold conversations that drive real culture change and spark Positive People Experiences everywhere.
If you found value in this episode and want to stay connected to an empowered community of changemakers, please like, subscribe, and share this video. For more thought-provoking discussions and to explore how you can lead culture change in your space, visit the SEE Change Happen website at https://seechangehappen.co.uk or dive into our full archive at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.
Your voice matters. Reach out, get involved, and let’s continue this journey together.
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
Root Cause Analyst - Why!
Certainly. Drawing from the episode "The Power of Honest Storytelling" on The Inclusion Bites Podcast, the discussion reveals several key problems centring around vulnerability, mental health, and genuine inclusion, particularly in professional or societal contexts. Let’s proceed with a root cause analysis, employing the “Five Whys” technique to systematically deconstruct one core issue raised in the episode.
Identified Problem:
People struggle to share their authentic stories and vulnerabilities in professional and societal spaces, hindering true inclusion and belonging.
Why #1:
Why do people struggle to share their authentic stories and vulnerabilities?
Because sharing personal challenges or non-normative experiences (such as mental health issues or gender identity) in professional or broader societal settings is often met with discomfort, misunderstanding, or even backlash.
Why #2:
Why is sharing such experiences met with discomfort, misunderstanding, or backlash?
Because organisational cultures and societal norms traditionally prioritise professionalism, perceived strength, and uniformity, discouraging expressions of vulnerability or difference as ‘unprofessional’ or ‘problematic’.
Why #3:
Why do organisational cultures and societal norms discourage vulnerability or difference?
Because historically, vulnerability has been equated with weakness, posing a perceived risk to group cohesion, reputation, or authority structures. There is also a persistent lack of education and exposure regarding the value of diverse lived experiences.
Why #4:
Why has vulnerability been equated with weakness and why is there a lack of education on the value of diverse experiences?
Because leadership models and traditional educational frameworks have not evolved to prioritise psychological safety, emotional intelligence, or lived experience as assets. Diversity and inclusion are often relegated to compliance or ‘tick-box’ exercises rather than cultural foundations.
Why #5:
Why have leadership models and educational frameworks not evolved to see vulnerability and diverse experiences as assets?
Because there has been insufficient challenge to entrenched power structures, a lack of diverse leadership at decision-making levels, and a failure to resource or meaningfully prioritise ongoing D&I (Diversity & Inclusion) work.
Root Cause Summary
At its core, the reluctance to share vulnerability and authentic stories in professional and societal spaces is perpetuated by deeply embedded cultural and structural norms that equate difference with risk and vulnerability with weakness. These are propped up by a lack of education, insufficient role modelling by leadership, and D&I frameworks that are frequently superficial, focused on compliance rather than culture change.
Potential Solutions
Embed Psychological Safety
Develop and communicate clear frameworks in organisations and communities that encourage openness, trust, and the constructive sharing of lived experiences. Psychological safety needs to become part of the cultural DNA through regular training, leadership modelling, and proactive support.Leadership Role Modelling
Leaders and influential figures should actively share their own stories and vulnerabilities, demonstrating openness, humility, and the value of lived experience. This sets the tone for others to follow.Shift Inclusion from Compliance to Culture
Move beyond box-ticking exercises. D&I strategies should focus on cultural change, not mere representation. Authentically inclusive environments require investment in learning, dialogue, and continuous improvement.Education and Exposure
Implement ongoing education programmes highlighting the value of difference—whether it relates to mental health, gender identity, ethnicity, or other lived realities. Facilitate storytelling forums or peer-led sessions for employees and community members to learn from each other directly.Institutional Accountability
Establish clear accountability structures that measure not only diversity statistics, but also inclusion, belonging, and psychological safety. Integrate feedback loops to ensure real stories and experiences are driving policy and practice, not just compliance.
In summary:
By digging beneath the surface, it becomes clear that only a holistic and sustained commitment to shared vulnerability, learning, and inclusive leadership will uproot the cultural barriers to honest storytelling. Organisations, communities, and individuals all play a role in shifting from mere tolerance of difference to genuine celebration of diverse, authentic lived experiences.
Canva Slider Checklist
Episode Carousel
Slide 1:
🌍 What if the key to real change is sharing your story—flaws and all?
—
Slide 2:
Nick Elston reveals how honest storytelling transforms vulnerability into connection. “Speaking without the filter… builds a bridge of trust and depth.”
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Slide 3:
Feeling stuck replaying your life stories? Joanne Lockwood reminds us: “If you keep telling that story, it becomes all of you. Treat your story as an evolution.”
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Slide 4:
Storytelling isn’t just about you. It’s about making your audience feel something real. As Nick says, “It’s not about what we say—it’s about how we make people feel.”
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Slide 5:
Ready to be inspired by bold, raw stories that challenge norms and build inclusion?
🎧 Tune into “The Power of Honest Storytelling” on the Inclusion Bites Podcast.
Listen now at seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #Storytelling #Belonging
6 major topics
The Power of Honest Storytelling: Six Key Themes from My Conversation with Nick Elston
Are you ready to discover the true influence of honest storytelling within the landscape of inclusion, belonging, and personal transformation? When I sat down with Nick Elston—keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People—I was struck by the depth, honesty, and vulnerability that flowed through our exchange. Together, we explored how our stories, especially when told authentically, have the potential to spark remarkable personal and societal change. Here’s my reflection on six major topics from our discussion, each offering a fresh perspective on honest storytelling and its power to drive inclusion.
1. Vulnerability as a Superpower: Embracing the Unfiltered Story
From the outset, Nick spoke candidly about his journey with mental illness, describing OCD and generalised anxiety as experiences that once dominated his life. What fascinated me was his belief that true connection springs from sharing these stories without a filter—being open about the scars, not just the wounds. This raw honesty, he explained, often leads others to reciprocate, building a bridge of trust and rapport that no superficial dialogue could rival.
I found myself contemplating: Do we dare to be so honest in our own spaces? Nick’s idea of seeing one’s story as an evolution—where our lived experience shifts meaning as we grow—reminded me that honest storytelling requires not only bravery, but a true willingness to revisit and reinterpret our pasts for the benefit of those we engage.
2. The Audience Matters: Adapting Your Narrative with Intention
As we exchanged examples, it became clear how essential it is to adapt the narrative depending on the audience. Nick highlighted the importance of tailoring your story for relevance—presenting the “facsimile” that serves the current listeners, rather than getting stuck endlessly repeating your personal canon. I shared that, for me, retelling the same story too often can pull me back into the past, making it feel stale or incomplete.
Together, we arrived at a curiosity: How much of your story is truly yours to keep intact, and how much should evolve to meet the needs of your audience? We agreed that while our credibility and “membership card” to the world of vulnerability is forged by our lived experience, the most impactful stories are those that create value for others—allowing them to take away meaning, empathy, or even the courage to tell their own truth.
3. The Quest for Belonging: Stories as a Bridge Across Difference
A recurring theme was the universal yearning for belonging. Nick eloquently shared that beneath our diverse stories—be they about mental illness, transition, disability, race, or sexuality—there’s a common thread: the pain of marginalisation and the need for connection. Even when backgrounds differ, storytelling offers a route to commonality and community.
We mused about the reality that many people in positions of privilege or traditional power have not always possessed the platform—or felt safe enough—to speak up. What happens when those people step forward and share their own struggles? Could that, in fact, serve as a catalyst for broader inclusion across workplaces and society? The answer seems to lie in the generosity of sharing and receiving stories, and in the courage to meet difference with genuine curiosity.
4. Navigating Difficult Spaces: Responding to Criticism, Cancel Culture, and Hostility
One of the most striking parts of our conversation touched on the realities of engaging with “toxic” environments—whether on divisive media platforms or in rooms filled with vocal sceptics. I shared my experiences on GB News, where simply being present and offering a calm, rational perspective felt like a radical act. Nick noted his approach of “affecting just one person” as reason enough to enter challenging spaces, even when faced with pushback or outright antagonism.
A point of curiosity lingers: How do we safeguard our own energy and wellbeing, even as we bravely put ourselves into the fray for the cause of honest storytelling? The answer, we agreed, lies in healthy detachment, a mastery of emotional boundaries, and remembering that sparking change for even a single listener can have wider ripple effects.
5. The Evolution of Lived Experience: From Therapy to Empowerment
Our stories gain new layers as time passes. Nick described how speaking about his mental health initially served as therapy. Over the years, as audiences grew and his story evolved, he found himself transitioning into a coach—empowering others to find, own, and share their own narratives. This progression, he noted, is key; if we cling too tightly to one version of our experience, we risk letting the story own us, rather than the other way round.
This led us to ponder: What untapped power lies in seeing our story as “under construction,” ready to be enhanced by new chapters, reinterpretations, and learnings? Both of us acknowledged that honest storytelling, when wielded consciously, can transcend the self and ignite transformation in communities far beyond ourselves.
6. Lifting Others by Finding Your Voice: The Ripple Effect of Courage
The final thread running through our exchange was the vital act of helping others find their voice. Nick and I both see our roles as not only sharing but actively inviting others to step out of silence. Whether in professional equality, diversity and inclusion circles, or wider society, storytelling fosters empathy, dismantles taboos, and gives permission for collective healing.
Here’s a curiosity for every listener: What might the world gain if everyone felt empowered to speak from their “scar” rather than their wound? We concluded that speaking up isn’t solely about self-liberation; it’s about signposting for others, illuminating paths out of fear, stigma, and marginalisation.
Honest Storytelling: An Invitation
The power of honest storytelling isn’t merely about recounting what we’ve lived; it’s about inviting others into the conversation, breaking down barriers, and building inclusive communities. As I reflect on my dialogue with Nick, I invite you to consider: Whose story do you need to hear—and whose might need to hear yours? Reach out, connect, reflect, and inspire action—because each authentic voice helps to shape a world where everyone belongs, and everyone can thrive.
For more on honest storytelling, inclusion, and belonging, join the conversation at Inclusion Bites. Together, let’s keep igniting change, one bold conversation at a time.
#HonestStorytelling #InclusionBites #Belonging #Vulnerability #LivedExperience #Empowerment
TikTok Summary
🔥 Ready to ignite REAL inclusion? On this bite from Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood and Nick Elston unpack the “Power of Honest Storytelling”—from vulnerability as a superpower to rewriting your own narrative, and all the messy, magical bits in between!
💬 Think you know what it means to belong? They’ll challenge that. Ever wondered how sharing your truth can drive real change? Tune in for raw insights, laughs, and a sprinkle of courage.
👉 Want more? Dive into the full episode and the entire series here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #Inclusion #Diversity #Podcast #Storytelling #Authenticity #RealTalks
Slogans and Image Prompts
Absolutely! Here are some standout slogans, quotes, and soundbites from the episode "The Power of Honest Storytelling" on Inclusion Bites, perfect for merchandise and social campaigns. Each entry is given with a detailed AI image generation prompt to bring the message visually to life—core to inspiring belonging, vulnerability, and authentic conversation.
Slogans, Soundbites & Hashtags
1. “Speak from the scar, not from the wound.”
Context: Joanne Lockwood on the importance of telling your story when you’re ready, from a place of growth.
Hashtags: #SpeakFromTheScar #HealingStories
Image Prompt:
A weathered, elegant book open on a table, with a gentle scar across the leather cover, glowing softly. Subtle golden light falls upon the page, and feathered quills rest beside it. Atmosphere is contemplative, nurturing, hinting at resilience and hope.
2. “Turning vulnerability into a powerful tool for connection and transformation.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, describing his personal superpower.
Hashtags: #VulnerabilityPower #TransformThroughStory
Image Prompt:
Two hands reaching towards one another across a glowing bridge, transparent yet strong, made of golden threads. In the foreground, faint hearts and sparkles suggest warmth. The backdrop is a gentle sunrise, symbolising new beginnings.
3. “Humans do want to support you if you only tell them what you need.”
Speaker: Nick Elston on the goodness found in honest exchange.
Hashtags: #AskForSupport #SharedHumanity
Image Prompt:
A group of people from diverse backgrounds sitting in a circle, one person is gently sharing their thoughts while another listens empathetically, offering a supportive hand. The scene is warm, inclusive, featuring soft lighting and vibrant colours to suggest a feeling of safety.
4. “Treat your story as an evolution.”
Speaker: Nick Elston on the fluid, changing nature of our narratives.
Hashtags: #StoryEvolution #GrowYourStory
Image Prompt:
A blooming tree growing from an open book, its leaves transforming into butterflies mid-flight. Above, soft clouds in the shape of speech bubbles. The scene radiates positive energy and suggests continual personal growth.
5. “No one cares as much as we think they do.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, highlighting the freedom found in honest storytelling without fear of judgement.
Hashtags: #OwnYourTruth #FreedomToBe
Image Prompt:
A cartoon brain in a thought bubble, weighed down by imaginary worries, surrounded by smiling, relaxed people paying little heed. Playful, light-hearted style with pastel tones, evoking a sense of relief.
6. “Belonging is the common thread in all this.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, referring to the thread linking experiences of marginalisation and inclusion.
Hashtags: #BelongingMatters #OneThread
Image Prompt:
A vivid tapestry being woven by multiple hands, each different in skin tone, sleeve, and jewellery, intertwining a single, golden thread through a rich and complex pattern. The tapestry features subtle motifs of hearts and interconnected circles.
7. “Change has to occur in you.”
Speaker: Joanne Lockwood on the personal nature of transformation in inclusion work.
Hashtags: #ChangeStartsWithin #BeTheChange
Image Prompt:
A person standing before a mirror; their reflection is brighter and filled with swirling, transformative colours. The person is mid-transformation, half in current state, half stepped into a more vibrant, empowered version of themselves.
8. “From ultimate chaos can come magic.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, embracing adversity as a catalyst.
Hashtags: #ChaosToMagic #AdversityAlchemy
Image Prompt:
A swirling tornado at its base with tiny luminous butterflies, sparkles and stars emerging as it rises, unfurling into a beautiful, calm night sky. The ground hints at the beginning of new blossoms amidst the chaos.
9. “Set out on a mission to prove yourself wrong.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, challenging negative inner narratives.
Hashtags: #ChallengeYourNarrative #ProveYourselfWrong
Image Prompt:
A cartoon person looking skeptically at a signpost with arrows pointing in opposite directions: “Worry” and “Possibility”. The “Worry” path is grey and stormy, “Possibility” is vibrant and sunny. The character steps confidently towards “Possibility” with a notepad titled “Mission”.
10. “If you feed the troll, the troll grows.”
Speaker: Joanne Lockwood on handling negativity and online abuse.
Hashtags: #Don’tFeedTheTrolls #KindnessFirst
Image Prompt:
A whimsical illustration of a small, shaggy troll sitting alone by a bridge, holding an empty plate. Behind, a sign says, “Do Not Feed the Trolls”, surrounded by flowers and peace symbols. The troll looks puzzled as people walk happily by without engaging.
11. “Your story is an evolution.”
Speaker: Nick Elston, repeated theme.
Hashtags: #EvolvingStory #JourneyContinues
Image Prompt:
A spiral staircase ascending through clouds, each step etched with tiny symbols representing life events: hearts, books, lightbulbs, tears. The staircase leads into a radiant sky with the hint of a rainbow.
12. “Create an experience, not just a talk.”
Speaker: Joanne Lockwood, addressing impact in speaking and advocacy.
Hashtags: #CreateExperience #BeyondTheTalk
Image Prompt:
A speaker at a podium, with colourful waves of sound transforming into interactive scenes—audience members are shown smiling, some inspired, some illuminated by lightbulbs, all engaged in the transformation. The atmosphere is vibrant, electric, and engaging.
Print these on your cups, bags, notepads or share online with those vivid AI-generated designs. Each phrase embodies the Inclusion Bites philosophy: honest storytelling, real transformation, and the continuous pursuit of belonging.
Inclusion Bites Spotlight
Nick Elston joins Joanne Lockwood as the feature guest on this month's Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, “The Power of Honest Storytelling,” offering a compelling exploration into vulnerability, resilience, and the transformative capacity of sharing one’s authentic narrative.
As a keynote speaker, transformational speaking coach, and founder of Forging People, Nick is well-versed in empowering others to embrace and articulate their stories. On this episode, he shares his own lived journey with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), generalised anxiety disorder, and burnout—illuminating how candid storytelling became not only a tool for personal healing, but a catalyst for fostering trust, belonging, and deeper connection in both personal and professional realms.
Nick’s approach is refreshingly honest: rather than simply recounting the details of adversity, he focuses on what these experiences have meant, how they’ve shaped empathy, and how sharing vulnerability builds common ground. Through lively dialogue with Joanne, the episode delves into the challenges of narrating personal history—how stories naturally evolve over time, the balancing act between authenticity and emotional well-being, and the importance of reframing your journey through the lens of impact and audience engagement.
Both Nick and Joanne reflect on the role that reciprocal storytelling can play in diversity, equity, and inclusion work. Their conversation underscores storytelling not merely as self-expression, but as a bridge to understanding across differences—whether of gender, mental health, race, or lived experience. Nick’s insights into the pressures facing those who champion inclusion in the workplace and his practical advice on maintaining emotional resilience will resonate with HR professionals, D&I leaders, and advocates alike.
This episode is a call to embrace stories as dynamic, evolving, and essential to inclusion. Tune in as Joanne and Nick challenge us to move beyond tokenism, confront our anxieties, and find the courage to be both witness and narrator—inspiring action, fostering empathy, and nurturing spaces where everyone can belong.
For those passionate about building truly inclusive cultures, “The Power of Honest Storytelling” is not to be missed. Listen and join the conversation.
YouTube Description
YouTube Description:
What if authentic vulnerability could break down barriers faster than any policy ever will?
Welcome to episode 160 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, "The Power of Honest Storytelling", where host Joanne Lockwood dives into a provocative exploration with keynote speaker and transformational speaking coach, Nick Elston. Together, they push past the surface to confront the raw realities of inclusion, belonging, and the transformative impact of real, unfiltered narratives.
In This Episode:
Discover why honest storytelling – especially when rooted in vulnerability and authenticity – is the true catalyst for meaningful connection and organisational change. Nick shares his lived journey with OCD and anxiety, showing how embracing and evolving our stories (rather than letting them consume us) can build trust, de-stigmatise taboos, and foster community both at work and in life.
Joanne and Nick unpack:
How sharing your story authentically can inspire collective empathy, commonality, and a renewed sense of belonging.
The importance of evolving your narrative for relevance – not just reliving pain, but learning, growing, and connecting across difference.
Why discomfort and even pushback are signs we’re challenging the status quo – and how to respond compassionately rather than defensively.
Practical advice on owning your voice, reframing vulnerability as a strength, and balancing impact with self-care.
After listening, you’ll…
Rethink the value of your lived experiences, recognising their power to influence how others think, feel, and behave.
Feel emboldened to share your authentic self, knowing that true inclusion is built on genuine human connection.
Be inspired to act – whether contributing your story, asking better questions, or advocating for more open and supportive workplaces.
Take Action:
Join the Inclusion Bites community by subscribing, sharing your own story, and connecting with Joanne to be part of future conversations. Remember: the spark of inclusion lies in every honest conversation we’re brave enough to begin.
#InclusionBites #HonestStorytelling #Belonging #AuthenticityMatters #LivedExperience #WorkplaceInclusion #MentalHealthAwareness #EmpathyAtWork #EDI #DiversityAndInclusion
10 Question Quiz
Inclusion Bites Podcast – Episode: "The Power of Honest Storytelling" (Host: Joanne Lockwood)
Quiz: Exploring the Host’s Professional Commentary on Storytelling, Vulnerability, and Inclusion
Multiple Choice Questions
1. What does Joanne Lockwood describe as a key source of personal and professional storytelling?
A) Fictional experiences
B) Academic research
C) One’s own lived experiences
D) Workplace policies
2. According to Joanne, what happens if you repeatedly tell your personal story without proper self-care?
A) The story improves with each telling
B) The story loses its accuracy over time
C) You risk living in the past and it can become your entire identity
D) It always inspires your audience
3. Joanne mentions the importance of tailoring your story for your audience. What guideline does she reference for doing this responsibly?
A) Always provide every minute detail
B) Speak from the scar, not from the wound
C) Avoid using any emotional content
D) Focus only on factual information
4. How does Joanne articulate the link between vulnerability and trust-building in storytelling?
A) Vulnerability creates distance with the audience
B) Sharing vulnerably and authentically builds a bridge of trust and connection
C) Vulnerability is best avoided in professional environments
D) Audiences ignore vulnerable stories
5. What metaphor does Joanne use regarding the relevance and adaption of telling one’s story?
A) The story is like a fixed sculpture
B) The story evolves over time, like a work in progress
C) The story should never change
D) The story is an exam answer to memorise
6. Joanne stresses what about having a ‘membership card’ to the club of vulnerability in inclusion work?
A) It is unimportant and exclusionary
B) It creates a divide between people
C) It facilitates empathetic connections and shared understanding
D) It only matters for certain minorities
7. How does Joanne advise responding to opinions or questions that you do not feel safe or informed about?
A) Always give a strong opinion regardless
B) Assert your authority and dismiss others
C) It’s acceptable to express that you don’t have a strong opinion, and invite dialogue
D) Ignore the question entirely
8. In professional environments, Joanne characterises “change” as something that should be:
A) Imposed by the facilitator
B) Forced upon the audience
C) Encouraged by ‘turning lights on’ and getting people to think
D) Avoided for harmony
9. What’s Joanne’s approach to negative or hostile feedback (e.g., hate mail or trolling)?
A) Take it personally and retaliate
B) Engage and argue at length
C) Treat it as graffiti—recognise it’s not truly personal and move on
D) Accept all criticism as valid
10. Joanne identifies her role as a speaker/trainer as primarily about:
A) Telling people what to think
B) Providing the audience with her perspective and inviting them to form their own views
C) Delivering strictly prepared scripts
D) Never sharing personal experience
Answer Key with Rationales
C) One’s own lived experiences
Rationale: Joanne repeatedly discusses the power and value of storytelling that draws upon personal journeys and lived experiences.C) You risk living in the past and it can become your entire identity
Rationale: Joanne cautions against overidentifying with one’s historical narrative, stressing the risk of being dragged back into the past if not managed with care.B) Speak from the scar, not from the wound
Rationale: She references this adage to underscore that sharing should come from a place of healing, not ongoing pain, to be responsible and impactful.B) Sharing vulnerably and authentically builds a bridge of trust and connection
Rationale: Joanne asserts that authentic and vulnerable storytelling creates deeper connections and trust.B) The story evolves over time, like a work in progress
Rationale: She emphasises that our stories adapt as we grow and that it’s healthy for them to evolve.C) It facilitates empathetic connections and shared understanding
Rationale: Joanne explains how having ‘a membership card to vulnerability’ helps to build bridges and empathy with people with other marginalised experiences.C) It’s acceptable to express that you don’t have a strong opinion, and invite dialogue
Rationale: She models and advocates for humility—stating openly when she lacks a definitive view, which encourages respectful exchanges.C) Encouraged by ‘turning lights on’ and getting people to think
Rationale: Joanne’s metaphor is about inspiring thought and reflection, not imposing answers.C) Treat it as graffiti—recognise it’s not truly personal and move on
Rationale: Joanne uses the graffiti metaphor for hate mail, showing emotional detachment and resilience.B) Providing the audience with her perspective and inviting them to form their own views
Rationale: She resists prescriptive approaches and frames her work as turning on lights, sharing perspective, and fostering thinking in others.
Summary Paragraph
Joanne Lockwood champions a philosophy of honest, evolving storytelling grounded in her own lived experience, which she leverages to foster authentic connection and trust. She highlights the risks of overidentifying with the past, advising that stories are best shared from a place of healing—“from the scar, not from the wound.” Joanne underscores the communal power that comes from shared vulnerability, promoting empathy and understanding across differences. Central to her approach is humility; she embraces situations where she doesn’t have all the answers, using these moments as opportunities for dialogue. In her professional speaking and training, Joanne’s primary aim is not to prescribe but to ‘turn the lights on’—stimulating awareness and critical thinking. She recommends detaching from negative external judgements—treating them as impersonal graffiti—whilst always modelling respect, open-mindedness, and a belief in the evolving nature of each person’s story. Altogether, her inclusive outlook invites others to become not only listeners but active participants in the journey toward societal belonging and transformation.
Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm Podcast Poetry
The Power of Honest Storytelling
In corridors of judgement, truth walks alone,
Yet stories—honest, raw—become the cornerstone.
Vulnerability, not weakness, but the art of the bold,
Where scars turned to bridges, let connection unfold.
The cracks in all facades reveal shimmering light,
Empathy’s a compass in the loneliest night.
With memories evolving, the narrative sways;
A tale retold anew, reclaims former days.
The labels we’re handed, the roles that we play,
Melt away gently when we dare to say—
“My pain isn’t fiction, nor merely my own,
But the chorus of voices that’s seldom been shown.”
To speak from the scar, leave behind the wound,
Refashions the self, lets burdens be tuned.
Yet, every retelling can tether the mind
To past tribulations we’re striving to leave behind.
So ask searching questions; let curiosity lead—
Find kinship in difference, let compassion seed.
No need to be flawless or endlessly right,
Be open, be kind, kindle new light.
Whether facing the trolls or the armoured and tough,
Change starts with dialogue, gentle yet rough.
The wisdom of critics, the crowd’s unseen cheer,
Remind us that listening’s what we all need to hear.
We carry our stories in pockets or prose,
Not for applause, but for kinship it grows.
For every confession, a space is made wide,
Bringing lost souls from margins inside.
Let’s value the journey, the questions, the pain,
For, in honest exchange, we all stand to gain.
And if these verses made you stop and reflect—
Subscribe and share—help the world to connect.
with thanks to Nick Elston for a fascinating podcast episode
Key Learnings
Key Learning and Takeaway from the Episode:
The transformative power of honest storytelling lies in its ability to foster genuine connection, trust and inclusion by embracing vulnerability, evolving personal narratives, and amplifying voices that are often unheard in both personal and professional arenas.
Point #1: Embrace Vulnerability for Connection
Nick Elston highlights that when individuals dare to speak without a filter—sharing authentic and sometimes painful experiences—they create a “bridge of trust” with others. This vulnerability encourages reciprocal openness and can accelerate deeper, more meaningful connections in every environment.
Point #2: Evolve Your Narrative Over Time
Both Joanne Lockwood and Nick stress that continuously telling your story in the same way can limit growth and tether you to the past. Narratives should evolve, reflecting new learnings and current context. Treating your story as a dynamic process rather than a fixed account makes your message more relevant and resilient.
Point #3: Align Stories with Audience Needs
Effective storytelling in inclusion work isn’t merely about relaying personal experiences verbatim, but about extracting value for the audience. People engage most with what relates to them—be that overcoming adversity, discovering belonging, or shifting perspective—so the storyteller’s job is to illustrate impact and resonance, not just recount facts.
Point #4: Challenge Taboos and Encourage Better Questions
The episode underscores the importance of breaking down barriers—be they around gender, mental health, or race—by inviting curiosity and sensible questioning, even in potentially hostile spaces. Honest storytelling acts as a catalyst for better conversations, reducing the power of stigma, assumptions, and silence, ultimately driving societal and organisational change.
For more about creating inclusive environments through storytelling, listen to the full episode or connect with Joanne Lockwood via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Find more Inclusion Bites conversations at: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Book Outline
Book Outline Based on Guest’s Perspective from “The Power of Honest Storytelling” — Inclusion Bites Podcast Episode 160
Title Suggestions
Vulnerability Unfiltered: The Transformative Power of Honest Storytelling
Speaking Without a Filter: Embracing Vulnerability for True Connection
Belonging Through Story: How Sharing Changes Us and the World
The Bridge of Trust: Turning Personal Truths into Collective Change
Introduction
The premise of honest storytelling as a vehicle for personal and societal transformation.
A personal call to turn vulnerability from a perceived weakness into a catalyst for powerful connection and change.
Promise of practical strategies, lived insights, and encouragement to the reader to find and use their own story.
Chapter 1: The Human Drive for Connection
Summary: Explores the universal need for commonality and community, especially at the outset of any encounter, and how storytelling serves as an immediate bridge for trust.
Subheadings:
Why humans crave shared experience
Commonality and community: The first ten seconds
Storytelling as an antidote to superficial communication
Quote Example:
“Despite what you hear on the news and popular media, humans are essentially good… Humans do want to support you if you only tell them what you need.”
Interactive Element: Reflection prompt on when readers have felt truly connected by sharing or hearing a story.
Chapter 2: Vulnerability as Superpower
Summary: Defines vulnerability, reframing it from a liability to a tool that builds trust, fosters belonging, and creates depth in relationships.
Subheadings:
The evolution of personal stories
The pitfalls of over-identifying with stories
The balance between sharing and being owned by one’s narrative
Quote Example:
“Speaking with authenticity and vulnerability… builds a bridge of trust and connection and depth with people far more than any superficial message were ever trained to deliver in professional environments.”
Real-life Example: Using speaking as therapy post-breakdown and the progression from personal healing to worldwide keynotes.
Exercise: List moments of personal vulnerability and reflect on their outcomes.
Chapter 3: Crafting and Evolving Your Narrative
Summary: Offers strategies for constructing, refining, and evolving personal narratives, including recognising the importance of context, audience, and perspective.
Subheadings:
The ongoing transformation of ‘the story’
Scar vs. wound: When and how to share
Protecting oneself emotionally while telling your story
Shifting the narrative: The power of re-framing
Quote Example:
“Treat your story as an evolution. So the same story that I told as therapy in 2012 is the same story I get paid to speak all over the world delivering now. The one difference is it’s changed with time. It’s changed with me.”
Interactive Element: Exercise to write a life story in the third person, imagining a famous narrator.
Visual Aid: Diagram illustrating stages in the evolution of a personal story.
Chapter 4: Impact Beyond Oneself: The Ripple Effects
Summary: Explores how sharing authentically invites others into their own vulnerability, creates collective belonging, and challenges the status quo.
Subheadings:
Reciprocity of vulnerability: When you share, others do too
The emergence of belonging as a central theme in inclusion
Recognising the ‘membership card’—intersectionality and shared experience
The emotional impact on those around us
Quote Example:
“When you first start sharing your experiences, you’re kind of respectful of other people’s thoughts on these things—the story can impact other people… That changes too, the more we get used to being more vulnerable.”
Exercise: Reflection on instances where sharing led to unexpected connections.
Chapter 5: Navigating Pushback, Taboos, and Hostile Spaces
Summary: Tactics for sharing stories in environments of resistance, misunderstanding, or outright hostility, and for maintaining emotional resilience.
Subheadings:
The power of showing up in uncomfortable rooms
Engaging with sceptics and “arms folded at the back”
Safety and resilience strategies (“graffiti” metaphor for hostility)
The fatigue of advocacy: Managing emotional reserves
Quote Example:
“I admire your strength and courage to do that… I still get quite sensitive… But I do agree, there are environments that are, I would say, comparable…”
Real-life Example: Sharing in tick-box organisations; importance of touching even one person.
Exercise: Guided prompts to prepare emotionally for difficult conversations.
Chapter 6: Professional Storytelling—Motivation, Performance, and Mental Health
Summary: Digging into the intersection of storytelling and mental health, especially in professional contexts, and how performance can be fuelled by anxiety.
Subheadings:
OCD, anxiety, and the formation of narrative identity
Conversion of adversity to action—using “breakdowns” as breakthroughs
Using transformation through speaking as a coaching method
Differentiating between sharing to connect and over-sharing
Quote Example:
“We can be highly successful and highly performing fuelled by anxiety, but you can only run for so long until you stop, and therein lies the problem.”
Visual Aid: Table comparing ‘narratives that harm’ versus ‘narratives that heal’.
Chapter 7: Belonging, Curiosity, and The Right to Ask Questions
Summary: Argues for curiosity as a missing ingredient in inclusion efforts, emphasising the need for safe spaces to ask ‘why’ and ‘how’ rather than assuming you know.
Subheadings:
The chilling effect of cancel culture on learning
Asking questions from a place of genuine curiosity
Bridging lived experiences across difference
Quote Example:
“I guarantee you that there’s so much I don’t understand in this world because it’s just not been my experience… Find people that have lived this, and ask them from a genuine need to educate or to be curious.”
Interactive Element: List of curiosity questions for readers to use in their context.
Chapter 8: Reframing Adversity: From Pain to Progress
Summary: Methods to handle adversity (mental health, marginalisation) with practical tools such as journalling, fact-checking anxieties, and reframing.
Subheadings:
The “worry journal” method
Proving yourself wrong: Challenging the anxiety narrative
Pain as a prerequisite for change
Quote Example:
“Set out on a mission to prove yourself wrong… You’ll be surprised at how little actually happens.”
Exercise: Starter template for a worry journal.
Visual Aid: Flow chart of the worry-check-reality process.
Chapter 9: The Art and Practice of Storytelling
Summary: Practical guidance, nuanced techniques, and pitfalls to avoid for any aspiring storyteller, especially within advocacy or inclusion work.
Subheadings:
“Not solution-focused” storytelling: Offering experiences, not cures
Navigating divergence and emotional reactions in audience
The importance of tone, emotional intelligence, and ‘riffing with content’
Adaptability: Audience-first storytelling
Quote Example:
“It’s not about what we say to people… It’s about showcasing the value of your experiences, not just your experiences.”
Reflection Prompt: Identify which part of your story might hold value for others and why.
Chapter 10: Sustaining the Storyteller—Self-Care and Longevity
Summary: The importance of emotional boundaries, knowing your limits, and looking after yourself as someone engaged in vulnerable, front-line advocacy or storytelling.
Subheadings:
The cost of being the ‘flag-bearer’ or ‘champion’
Balancing public and private vulnerability
Self-esteem, confidence, and reserving emotional “fucks”
The role of confidence in speaking and sharing
Quote Example:
“We need to be more selfish as well. We need to make sure that we protect our own energy before we put ourselves into those situations.”
Exercise: Self-assessment of emotional boundaries and resilience.
Conclusion: The Legacy of Honest Storytelling
Summary: Synthesises the core message—powerful, honest storytelling connects, heals, and creates change. Reinforces the reader’s capacity to craft, share, and protect their narrative as both a personal tool and a societal contribution.
Call to Action:
Encourage readers to share their story in a safe and meaningful way.
Suggest engaging in storytelling exercises within their communities or organisations.
Direct readers to resources, further reading, or avenues to connect (e.g. events, online communities).
Appendices
Further Reading and Resources: Books, websites, organisations
Templates and Worksheets: Story-mapping, worry journal, curiosity questions
Storytelling Glossary: Defining key terms (vulnerability, authenticity, belonging, intersectionality, etc.)
Review and Refinement Process
Suggest periodic review loops with inclusion practitioners, mental health experts, and test readers from diverse backgrounds to ensure nuanced, inclusive, and practical content.
Iterative feedback to hone clarity, accessibility, and impact.
Sample Chapter Summaries
The Human Drive for Connection: Lays foundation for the book, highlighting connection as a universal human need and storytelling as its most authentic vehicle.
Vulnerability as Superpower: Reframes vulnerability as the cornerstone of trust and change.
Crafting and Evolving Your Narrative: Offers a toolkit for developing, protecting, and refining one’s story over time.
Impact Beyond Oneself: Demonstrates the ripple effect of vulnerability, building collective belonging and empathy.
Navigating Pushback: Grounded advice for advocacy in hostile, resistant, or challenging spaces.
Professional Storytelling and Mental Health: Unpicks the link between storytelling, performance, and wellbeing.
Belonging, Curiosity, and Questions: Encourages curiosity for true understanding and rapport across difference.
Reframing Adversity: Practical cognitive strategies for readers facing adversity in their own stories.
Art and Practice of Storytelling: Practical methodologies and emotional dynamics for potent storytelling.
Sustaining the Storyteller: The necessity of boundaries, protection, and self-care in ongoing advocacy and storytelling.
Closing Note
This outline transforms lived experience and podcast dialogue into an actionable, insightful, and highly practical book—for changemakers, professionals, and anyone ready to harness honest storytelling for inclusion, healing, and societal transformation.
Maxims to live by…
Maxims for the Power of Honest Storytelling and Inclusion
Embrace Vulnerability as Strength
Let openness about your struggles and experiences foster authentic connections.View Your Story as an Evolving Journey
Recognise that your narrative changes as you grow; what once defined you may transform into something empowering.Speak from the Scar, Not the Wound
Share your experiences from a place of healing, offering insight without reliving unresolved pain.Tailor Your Story to the Audience, Retain Its Truth
Focus on the salient points relevant to those listening, without losing authenticity.Remember: Others’ Stories Are Theirs Alone
Empathise deeply, but never claim to fully know another’s lived experience.Prioritise Belonging Over Superficial Acceptance
Work towards true belonging, not just fitting in. Inclusion comes from commonality and shared humanity.Engage Curiosity over Assumption
Ask questions from a genuine desire to learn, and remain unafraid of not having an opinion.Resist the Temptation of the Echo Chamber
Seek diverse perspectives even if they challenge your assumptions; beware of immersing only in spaces that affirm your views.Protect Your Energy and Wellbeing
Champion others, but never at the cost of your own mental health or boundaries.Empower Others to Tell Their Stories
Support those wishing to find their voice and platform; amplify, do not overshadow.Detach from Malice; Don’t Feed the Trolls
Approach hostility with perspective—much negativity is impersonal noise, not a reflection of your worth.Hold Opinions Lightly and Test Them Regularly
Assume the possibility of being wrong; relish constructive challenge and seek to grow.Judge Impact by How You Make Others Feel
The value of communication is rarely in the exact words, but always in the emotional resonance produced.Normalise Asking for Help
Whether struggling or supporting others, know that seeking professional help or guidance is never weakness.Create Experiences, Not Just Information
Let stories move people; facts are fleeting, feelings linger.Model Emotional Leadership and Authentic Presence
Lead with openness, creating safe spaces for discomfort, growth, and honesty.Challenge Taboos and the Status Quo with Compassion
Do not shy away from difficult topics—real change starts with honest, respectful dialogue.Prioritise Listening Over Winning
An inclusive conversation values understanding above being right or having the last word.Be Selective with Your Resources—Foster Self-Respect
You do not owe every person your energy, explanations, or emotional labour.Celebrate Commonality, Respect Difference
Seek what unites whilst honouring what differentiates; every voice enriches the collective narrative.
Extended YouTube Description
The Power of Honest Storytelling | Inclusion Bites Podcast, Ep. 160
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction to Inclusion Bites
01:14 – Guest Introduction: Nick Elston
02:38 – The Role of Storytelling, Authenticity, and Vulnerability
03:59 – Nick’s Journey with OCD and Anxiety
07:11 – The Challenge of Evolving Personal Narratives
11:02 – Commonality, Community, and Belonging
13:06 – The Importance of Asking Tough Questions, Cancel Culture
16:00 – Navigating Opinions and Social Media
17:10 – Stepping into Challenging Conversations & GB News
20:44 – Transformative Speaking in Adverse Environments
22:05 – Understanding Trans Identity and Shared Empathy
28:17 – Dealing with Online and Offline Hostility
32:25 – Demystifying OCD: Lived Experience vs Stereotypes
36:04 – Coping Mechanisms and Proving Yourself Wrong
40:13 – The Importance and Limitations of Lived Experience
43:24 – Handling Pushback in Inclusion Work
50:52 – Self-Worth, Boundaries, and Finding Your Voice
57:15 – Emotional Storytelling and Audience Impact
01:00:14 – Gratitude and Closing Thoughts
Transforming Inclusion with Authentic Storytelling – What’s Inside This Episode:
In Episode 160 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, host Joanne Lockwood (she/her) welcomes keynote speaker and transformational coach Nick Elston (he/him) to explore "The Power of Honest Storytelling". This episode is a must-watch for HR professionals, diversity and inclusion leaders, and anyone passionate about authentic communication and creating inclusive workplaces.
Key topics covered:
The life-changing impact of honest storytelling and vulnerable communication.
Nick’s lived experience with OCD, anxiety, and burnout, and how sharing his story sparked transformation for himself and others.
Navigating the evolution of personal narratives and maintaining authenticity while making your story relevant for different audiences.
How genuine storytelling fosters trust, belonging, and deeper connections in personal and professional settings.
Best practices for inclusion advocates facing workplace pushback or online hostility, including psychological strategies for resilience and self-care.
Tackling taboo subjects, dealing with generational or cultural barriers, and encouraging meaningful questions in the face of cancel culture.
Empowering others to embrace their voices, overcome stereotypes, and amplify underrepresented perspectives.
Why This Episode Matters:
Discover practical insights to enhance your diversity, equity & inclusion (DEI) strategies, inspire honest conversations in your organisation, and learn concrete tools for using your lived experience to drive real change. Whether you’re developing your workplace culture, coaching teams, or championing inclusion in your daily life, Joanne and Nick’s discussion offers transformative guidance and actionable steps you can leverage immediately.
Action Steps:
Subscribe for more unfiltered, actionable conversations that ignite inclusive change.
Share your story or join as a guest: Email jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Expand your learning: Visit our website for all episodes and resources.
Continue your journey: Watch another episode on inclusive cultures and belonging.
Let’s spark change together—one honest conversation at a time.
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#InclusionBites #HonestStorytelling #Inclusion #Belonging #DEI #WorkplaceWellbeing #MentalHealthAwareness #Vulnerability #AuthenticLeadership #HRCommunity #DiversityAndInclusion
Inclusion Bites Podcast is your destination for real talks that challenge, disrupt, and drive actionable inclusion. Hosted by Joanne Lockwood, powered by SEE Change Happen.
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The Power of Honest Storytelling: Creating Connection Through Vulnerability
Have you ever wondered why, despite countless initiatives and well-intentioned campaigns, genuine belonging in the workplace remains elusive for so many? In the realm of DEI, we enthusiastically talk about inclusion, but too often, our conversations skim the surface—leaving untold stories, discomfort, and misunderstanding lurking beneath.
This is precisely why I invited Nick Elston to join me on Inclusion Bites for Episode 160: "The Power of Honest Storytelling." Nick, a renowned keynote speaker and transformational speaking coach, has made it his life’s mission to help people embrace – and share – their voices, breaking down barriers with courageous candour. For everyone navigating the intricacies of HR, DEI leadership, talent acquisition, or organisational learning, this episode is brimming with insights to help us lean into the uncomfortable and unlock the transformative power of authenticity.
Vulnerability as the Bridge to Belonging
During my conversation with Nick, we explored the layered impact of sharing lived experience—particularly around mental health, personal history and identity—in the often sanitised corridors of the modern workplace. Nick’s journey with OCD and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) not only shaped his professional path but also became the catalyst for his passion: turning vulnerability into a superpower.
Too often, when we work in people-focussed roles, there’s an unspoken rule to keep things “professional” (read: impersonal and safe). Both Nick and I have found that telling our own stories—with the scars and not just the successes—breaks through the noise. It allows others, whether they’re grappling with change or feeling on the margins, to recognise themselves, to feel less alone, and, crucially, to step into the conversation.
For those of us guiding organisational culture, facilitating inclusion training, or supporting wellbeing at work, what does it look like to genuinely invite storytelling? How do we move from tolerating difference to truly engaging with it?
Stories That Connect to HR, Talent and L&D Realities
In this episode, we delve into questions all too familiar in HR and EDI circles:
What does authenticity look like in practical, everyday leadership?
How can vulnerability be harnessed as a force for change rather than a liability?
How do we challenge entrenched views—our own and others’—without alienation or defensiveness?
Nick offers a down-to-earth perspective, using his experience as a springboard for teaching leaders and colleagues alike how to share their journeys meaningfully. We talk about the delicate balance of “owning your narrative” without allowing past traumas to define you. We also tackle the common pitfall of seeking validation from the audience—more often than not, people care far more about how our stories resonate with their own than the minutiae of our life details.
A particularly poignant moment in our dialogue springs from the recognition that belonging is the thread that ties all forms of marginalisation together—whether race, gender, sexuality, or neurodiversity. Until we address the universal need for belonging, no amount of policies or training will truly shift the dial.
Takeaways to Put Into Practice
Let’s strip back the theory for a moment. What practical lessons can be woven into your day-to-day approach as an HR or DEI professional?
See Your Story as an Evolution
Rather than a static “origin story,” Nick encourages us to treat our lived experiences as works in progress. Each retelling adapts to context, audience and time—making it both sustainable and impactful. Developing this “narrative agility” prevents being trapped by past pain and instead leverages it as a catalyst for growth.Focus on Connection, Not Performance
Whether you’re leading a training session or checking in with a colleague, the magic happens when we speak “from the scar, not from the wound.” Offer authenticity, but gauge your readiness. The aim isn’t to deliver a perfect monologue; it’s to build a bridge of trust that invites reciprocal openness.Encourage Empathy, Not Just Sympathy
Nick and I discussed how our identities—from mental health survivor to trans woman—grant us “memberships” to the club of vulnerability. But genuine inclusion happens when everyone, not just those with marginalised experiences, is empowered to ask questions, admit uncertainty, and learn. Model curiosity over correction.Guard Your Own Energy
Those leading the charge—whether as wellbeing champions, employee network heads, or ERG sponsors—often shoulder stories that belong to others too. Recognise your thresholds. Prioritise self-care and establish boundaries so you can continue to show up wholeheartedly.Fact Check Your Narratives
As Nick shared through his experience with anxiety and OCD, our minds are apt to fabricate worst-case scenarios. Develop “worry journals” or other reflective habits to challenge catastrophic thinking—personally and organisationally. Peer review isn’t just for scientists; it works for our beliefs and biases too.
Sneak Peek: Speaking Up, Changing Minds
I’d love to invite you to watch a brief moment from my conversation with Nick. This one-minute audiogram captures the essence of how honest storytelling can light the spark of connection and foster a sense of shared humanity.
Watch the sneak peek here: [Insert Audiogram Link]
Allow this clip to serve as a teaser before you dive into the full conversation—sometimes, one sentence is all it takes to start thinking differently about the stories we tell and how we tell them.
Step Into the Conversation
Curious to hear more about how vulnerability, honesty, and storytelling can transform your organisation’s approach to inclusion and belonging? Listen to the full episode here for an in-depth, candid conversation that moves beyond the platitudes to actionable insight.
If this episode resonates, I encourage you to share it with your teams, across your employee resource groups, or with those still hesitant about the value of lived experience in business. Let’s get more voices around the table—and not just the usual suspects.
Where Do We Go From Here?
If you knew your story could build a bridge for someone else to belong, would you keep it to yourself—or would you risk sharing it, warts and all?
As you reflect on the experiences and ideas discussed, ask yourself: What’s one change you’ll make this week to open up the space for authentic stories—yours and others’—in your organisation? Can you shift the culture from ‘tick box’ inclusion to genuine, messy, human connection?
The power to foster belonging and equity lies, in no small part, in the honesty of our narratives and the courage to listen—and respond—with empathy.
Let’s keep challenging, connecting, and creating workplaces where everyone, truly, feels they belong.
Until next time,
Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen
Stay connected:
To share your own story or enquire about being a guest, drop me a line at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
What stories are waiting to be heard in your workplace, and how might sharing them ignite change?
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