So today we're going to be talking about what happens when you reject a narcissist because you have finally figured out who they really are. So a narcissist is someone who is self absorbed, who feels entitled to exploit the emotions of other people. A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy. So they have they don't have a natural emotional reaction to other people's pain, to other people's concerns. So they lack compassion for others because they generally feel superior to others. They have a grandiose sense of self. To a narcissist, they really are more important, more deserving, more intelligent, and more worthy of praise and validation and recognition than anyone else. They may not be overt about this, but in time, if you spend enough time with a narcissist, you will notice patterns of put downs when speaking about other people.

You will notice envy. You will notice a a severe sense of competition. You will notice that they are passive aggressive. You will notice that they absolutely want you to see them as the expert, as the know all, as the know it all of everything there is to know about just about anything. And if a narcissist ever feels slighted by you, then you become a threat. If a narcissist has labeled you as a source of narcissistic supply and has lured you in through love bombing and has hooked you in really good and perhaps has trauma bonded you, which essentially means that through the course of your relationship, through the course of the ups and downs of the relationship, the narcissist has convinced you that everything and anything goes wrong in the relationship, anything that goes wrong in the relationship is absolutely your fault. They will twist, they will blame shift, they cannot take accountability or responsibility. And one of the things that I think is really, that makes this so difficult is this idea that narcissists are so convinced that they are right.

You know, when you're talking to someone and they're convinced that they saw someone that you know at the movie theater, but you heard that this person was on vacation in the Bahamas somewhere. But you're talking to someone who is absolutely convinced that they saw Mary at the movie theater. And you know that Mary told you that she was in the Bahamas. And so you're rightfully confused because the person that is convinced that they're right is so convinced that they're right. So it makes someone who is normal and healthy question themselves, like, maybe I got it wrong. You're like, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Mary lied to me. Maybe Mary really wasn't in the Bahamas.

And so they're very convinced that they're right. They're also convinced that they have a right to treat you the way they want to treat you, so they lack a sense of introspection. There's no desire on behalf of the narcissist to know thyself, to know thy true self. Narcissists live through the false self, and they want to believe in this projected false self, the false self that protects them from vulnerabilities, the false self that causes arguments with you, pretends that there is a triangle going on that really isn't going on. Have you ever dated a narcissist, whether it's a male or a female, and they've tried to insinuate that someone else wants them? And now you're angry at your friend because the narcissist is telling you that your friend is is hitting on them and that's never happened, and now you're angry at your friend and your friend is, like, completely bewildered, like, what's up? I don't even know what's going on here. It happens. When I was young, one of my first boyfriends hit on one of my best friends. And you know what I did? I didn't believe her.

That taught me a very big lesson because she wasn't the only one my first boyfriend hit on. Taught me a very, very big lesson. So when you're dealing with a narcissist, it's also important to recognize that narcissism is not a diagnosis. Narcissism is basically a personality trait. And if you're a human being, you have a bunch of personality traits. Not all of them are going to be pleasant. There is no one out there that has the perfect personality. It's just not possible.