If you're so damn fed up of being manipulated, being pushed around, being stepped on, being disrespected and dismissed, this first one may seem so god damn obvious, but holy smokes. If you don't get ultra specific with this boundary, then you're utterly screwed. Do not cheat on me. You've got to listen to me. This one is so strong but I know you're gonna wanna dismiss it. So please, I beg of you, lean in. Guys, I actually got a comment where people are like, Lisa, why on earth do you have to tell your partner that a boundary is to not cheat on you? While it may seem obvious and there's 0 freaking judgment, 0 judgment, there are many people that will forgive their partner. There are many people that will actually take their partner back after they have been cheated on.

And so again, no freaking judgment on whatever is right for you but I know me and I know there is no way I can give myself over completely to my husband and then have him cheat on me and then be able to give over again. I just know myself. So this one guys is know thy freaking self. Know if you are the type of person that will be able to live with that or not because set your partner up for success. I literally wanted to set Tom up for success because while it may seem obvious, there might be a little part of him that thinks maybe she'll forgive me. I don't know if that's true or not but I wanted to make sure that wasn't a possibility, that He knew upfront. There were no words, no amount of sorry's, no amount of flowers, no amount of begging, no amount of therapy that would actually get me to forgive him if he cheated on me. So while I know you may want to dismiss this one, this is the biggest freaking one I'm telling you.

Now be honest with your partner about your non freaking negotiables because there are some, so make sure you know or you've told them what your non negotiables are. Alright. Now here's some beautiful nuance. I'm gonna go deep on this one guys because again, I think that if you can get this right, it will honestly set you up for amazing success in your relationship. If you get it wrong, good relationship may be in the dust. Alright. So we're gonna go deep. First of all, you must define words.

Now what do you mean by that Lisa? Alright, so for instance one thing that may be cheating to me may not be cheating to my husband. Now you are all going to want to try and dismiss what I'm saying. That's up to you but I like to live in a world where I just face the realities of what I've seen, what I've heard and maybe what I've seen in the movies but I'm just trying to mitigate the potential of me and my husband splitting up. So I go, okay let's just embrace that maybe there are different levels of quote unquote cheating that are different to you and different to me. So let's throw a couple out for instance. Is flirting cheating? Now, if you ask me, flirting is not cheating. My husband could flirt with women, it actually doesn't bother me. I can flirt with guys, it doesn't bother him.

Now when I say flirt, you have to almost also define what flirt means. Flirting to me means that you're like overly sweet. You may touch someone's skin. Maybe my husband turns around like, turns to a woman and I'm standing there and let's say it's my sister and he's like, oh my god. You look so beautiful. Like that dress, like is that flirting? Maybe but it doesn't bother me. So understanding where your line is in the flirting genre and where your partner's line is. So actually, perfect example.

We were at a bodybuilding convention. It was right at the height of Quest. So we had like massive booth, we had so many people coming up and there was one guy who was just ripped. His body, guys, was banger and he was I I know him as well. So he'd just been competing so if you've never been to a bodybuilding competition, they don't have shirts on and they are very tanned and oily. So you've got 8 pack abs staring at you in the face. You got the pecs staring at you and let's face it, I'm a woman and I really do get turned on by great bodies. So anyway, so this guy that I know, he comes over and he starts talking to me and again, I know him.

And so, I'm giggling and I'm touching his arm and I'm like, and from afar, across the other side, my husband actually videos it and and he's zooming in and he's like, this is my wife being very flirty. She loves to talk. She loves to interact with people just as well I'm not a jealous guy. And he's literally as he still went, my hands on the guy's arm. I don't even realize I'm doing it. So I need to be very clear about this. It wasn't that I went in and deliberately flirted with somebody and I'm just like, oh my gut husband's got to do, you know, my husband's got to deal with it. No.