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Vanessa Lau
00:00:00 - 00:00:33
For most people, they won't learn this lesson until they actually get everything that they want, until they get the promotion and they realize that career is not for them, until they get that dream guy or dream girl and they realize that this is not the relationship that they wanna be in until they buy that big ass house and they realize how empty they are. If you are in your twenties, this is my advice to you. Number 1, build up your assets in a very specific order. I became a millionaire when I was 26. I'm 30 now. I just turned 30 this week. My net worth is in the multiple millions, and technically, I am financially free. There's two reasons for this.
Vanessa Lau
00:00:33 - 00:01:31
Number 1, I started a business that ended up grossing over 10,000,000 Canadian dollars in its lifetime, but more importantly, number 2, I learned about the different types of assets that exist in life, and I was able to prioritize them in the right order. A mistake that a lot of young people make is they are in such a rush to build up their financial capital. They think that just by investing and just by saving money in their twenties is going to be enough to be rich. The truth is is unless you are a trust fund baby and you already come from money, if you are someone who comes from lower income class family or middle income class family like I did, you need to be playing a whole different game. And that game is understanding the different types of leverages that you have and building those up first before you build up your financial capital. 1st type of capital that you should be building up is your intellectual capital. This means with all the money that you're making and the time that you have, you should be investing in yourself and in your learning. Upskill yourself deep in your knowledge.
Vanessa Lau
00:01:32 - 00:02:03
For example, when I was 16, I think I paid $12 to read my first personal development book. It was called How to Win Friends and Influence People. It completely changed my life. It changed the way that I navigated relationships, and it brought me a lot of opportunities even just learning how to communicate. Nowadays, there's even better books out there and way more resources. But what you wanna be doing is if you don't have the money right now, you should be reading books. You should be listening to podcasts, to YouTube videos, to expand your knowledge and learn as many skills as possible. Learn more about the world.
Vanessa Lau
00:02:03 - 00:03:11
Once you start making some money, you wanna try to invest that into courses or mentors that can fast track your learning, fast track your skill development. The goal of building up your intellectual capital is for you to be perceived as someone who is valuable to the marketplace. Because once you have a sense of value, then you're gonna be able to build up the second type capital, which is your social capital. It's very hard to build up a really strong and rich network without having a sense of intellectual capital. And so in the process of you building up your intellectual capital, you wanna find as many ways as possible to help people with your intellect, to help people with the skills that you've acquired. For me, in my career, I helped a lot of people through mentoring others, through offering my services and my resources to others, through eventually digitizing my intellectual capital. I started a YouTube channel and through my videos, I just taught people everything that I was learning. And from there, when you build your intellectual capital, eventually, people will notice you.
Vanessa Lau
00:03:11 - 00:04:08
You want to build yourself up to be a person that people can clearly see you are working on yourself and you are becoming a better person. And so, eventually, I built up my social capital, capital, which is building my brand on YouTube. Now you don't have to be a YouTuber to do this. If you are working a 9 to 5 and you're in a job right now, even you just helping your coworkers going above and beyond will get you noticed by upper management who will then connect you to whoever. You wanna build a strong network. And the reason why you wanna do this is because the stronger network that you have, the stronger and richer social capital that you have, opportunities will come way faster and way easier for you. Once you've built up your social capital, the next type of capital that's gonna be really easy for you to build is your human capital. Now this is very specific to those of you who want to build a business, who have a specific project that you wanna go deep on, but human capital is being able to recruit others into your cause so that you can scale up your time.
Vanessa Lau
00:04:08 - 00:05:10
And so in my case, when I built up my YouTube channel and I built up a brand for myself through helping so many people, it was a lot easier for me to find talent. There were people that wanted to work for me rather than me reaching out to other people. Now, of course, you don't need all of that. If you already have money, it'll be easy to hire out and outsource your time. But if you don't have money, having a strong social capital will help you get human capital a lot faster and a lot cheaper. Once you've built up your intellectual, your social, and your human capital, you'll naturally be at a place where you have more financial capital than other people in your age range, And this is where you can make life changing money. Whereas, if you don't have any of those other capitals, and let's say you only have 10,000, 20,000 in your bank account, yes, you can save it, but it's gonna take a while for you to make life changing money. And so instead, if you actually invested that in yourself and you built up the other capitals first, you're actually fast tracking your ability to potentially make your first 100,000 and then your next 100,000.
Vanessa Lau
00:05:11 - 00:06:03
And then, eventually, you may even get to a place where you're making half a 1000000 or a 1000000, and that's life changing money because you will now have a way bigger principle to play with. And now with that money, you can invest in real estate. You can invest in the market, and it's gonna have a way bigger impact on your wealth strategy Then if you try to nickel and dime in your twenties. 2nd piece of advice, and that is work hard for everything that you've ever wanted, Acquire all the things, make all the money, do it sooner rather than later. Because the sooner that you can get everything that you've wanted, the sooner you will realize that none of that shit actually matters to you. There's a quote that I heard from Naval Ravikant and it goes, we have 2 lives. The second life begins when we realize that we only have 1. Even though I made multiple 1,000,000 in my twenties, I checked off all the boxes.
Vanessa Lau
00:06:03 - 00:06:36
I acquired all of the things. It wasn't until I did all of that where I had this epiphany that none of that stuff actually mattered to me. And it allowed me to live a more meaningful life or start living a more meaningful life. I'm so grateful that I learned that in my twenties. And I'm so grateful that I built up all those capitals that I mentioned because it got me to a place where I became very successful on paper, and it got me to a place where I realized what truly mattered to me. It wasn't the house. It wasn't the Chanel bags. It wasn't the Porsche.
Vanessa Lau
00:06:36 - 00:07:17
It wasn't the multiple 1,000,000 of dollars. And to get to that realization requires a lot of privilege. And the sooner that you can become a person of privilege, the sooner that you can create peace in your life, and you can actually live the life that you want. Thanks to me hustling and grinding and accumulating all of that in my twenties. Now I feel so grateful because I'm entering my thirties, and I can make YouTube videos as a hobby. I I don't have to make videos in order to make money technically. I do it because I love it. I can spend more time with my family and my friends while I'm still young and while they're still young, and that requires a lot of privilege.
Vanessa Lau
00:07:17 - 00:08:08
And so if you wanna be a privileged person sooner, then you may want to just work hard to get what you want and learn that life lesson sooner for yourself. And this is a very controversial opinion. I already know there's gonna be people saying, no. You should be peaceful right now, and you should be mindful right now, and you live your life meaningfully right now. And I hope that you can do that. But I believe for most people, they won't learn this lesson until they actually get everything that they want, until they get the promotion and they realize that career is not for them until they get that dream guy or dream girl. And they realize that this is not the relationship that they wanna be in until they buy that big ass house and they realize how empty they are, until they have all the money in the bank and they realize that what they actually want is to spend more time with their mom and dad. The sooner that you can know this, the better.
Vanessa Lau
00:08:08 - 00:08:30
Next, everything is a projection. This video is a projection. I am projecting onto you. I am projecting my beliefs. I am projecting what I feel is important. I'm projecting my life experience onto you. But what I believe is true for me does not have to be true for you. And I wish that I knew this lesson sooner in my twenties than I did.
Vanessa Lau
00:08:31 - 00:09:12
I had to become someone who post my life on the Internet to learn this the hard way because I am someone who gets multiple projections thrown at her every single day. And before, I used to take things very personally. I used to question myself a lot because of other people's opinions. I used to question if I was a good person. I used to question my skills. I used to question my experience. I used to question who I was because I couldn't discern other people's feedback. I couldn't discern and I couldn't understand that what other people were throwing at me was their life experience, was their knowledge, was their point of view, was their trauma, was their experience, but it didn't have to be mine.
Vanessa Lau
00:09:12 - 00:10:08
If someone doesn't like you, it doesn't have to mean anything about you. If someone has a limitation, it doesn't have to be your limitation. If someone has criticism, you can choose to take it on if you feel like it's actually gonna help you, or you can just let it go lovingly. You don't have to take everything on as truth. The sooner that you can understand what projections If you were older than me, I would fan girl. If you If you were older than me, I would fan girl. If you were more successful than me, I would fan girl. If I was given a once in a lifetime opportunity, and you can have respect for something without lowering your status, without devaluing yourself, and without giving away your power.
Vanessa Lau
00:10:09 - 00:10:56
And when I was in my twenties, which was not too long ago, I used to give my power away to a lot of people, and I used to put a lot of things on a pedestal. I used to put people on a pedestal, opportunities on a pedestal, material items on a pedestal. I would slave for them. I would lower my value for them. I would do things that I'm not proud of for them. And I learned that the moment that you just stop idolizing things is also the moment that you create a lot more peace and freedom for yourself. You can doubt your work, but you shouldn't doubt yourself. I think it's completely normal to question the quality of your work, whether that's you submitting an assignment, whether that's you delivering a project to your boss or your client or the business that you're trying to build.
Vanessa Lau
00:10:56 - 00:11:36
I think without you criticizing your work, you wouldn't have room for improvement. But even if you are questioning your work, you shouldn't question yourself ever. You shouldn't question the value that you bring to the table. You shouldn't question the value of who you are as a human being outside of your business, outside of your work. You shouldn't question the potential that you have in this life. A mistake I often made was I made my work mean something about me as a human being. And this often led me to a dangerous path of self sabotage. It would lead me to depressive moments, unnecessary anxiety.
Vanessa Lau
00:11:37 - 00:12:45
And I think it's important for you to be able to separate your self worth from the work that you're producing, especially if you're an entrepreneur or especially if you're an online personality and you're trying to be an influencer and you're doing all those things that are so tied to you personally, you need to find a way to really separate that because you're robbing yourself of so much peace and happiness if you tie your self worth to your work. Next, I want you to do things while you're still excited about them. I think that there is a beautiful naivete in your twenties because you're experiencing life as an adult for the first time. It's your 1st decade of being an adult. And an analogy that I learned from a friend of mine is if you sit on something for too long, it's like leaving fresh food out for too long and it becomes stale. And when it becomes stale, you no longer want it and so you toss it away. And the reason why we often let things sit for too long, whether it's our desires, whether it's ideas that we have is because we tend to overthink. We doubt.
Vanessa Lau
00:12:45 - 00:13:39
We think of all the things that could possibly go wrong or all the reasons why we shouldn't do something. And because of that, a lot of life changing ideas, a lot of life changing decisions go to waste because we've ruminated for way too long and the timing has passed. And so what I would hope for you and what I would hope for myself, even as I enter my thirties is when you are most excited about something, whether it's an idea that you have, whether it's a decision that you're thinking of making, just fucking do it. Just do it because it could lead to so much adventure. And at worst, it could lead to a lot of lessons that you're gonna learn in your life, a lot of wisdom. And so do things while you're still excited about them. Don't overthink it for too long because the timing will pass and you'll no longer be excited and it won't be that same experience as if you would did it while you were still excited about it. Take risks in your twenties.
Vanessa Lau
00:13:40 - 00:14:17
Especially in your twenties, you have so much more time to recover from your mistakes. You have so much time to make more money. You have, like, decades decades of time. The biggest risk that I ever took in my twenties was leaving my well paying corporate job at 23 or or 24. I became a coffee barista making minimum wage so that I had more time to start my YouTube channel. And because of that one decision, I was able to make a lot of money for myself in my twenties, which was amazing. And I was able to live my dream life on paper. It could have absolutely gone to shit.
Vanessa Lau
00:14:17 - 00:14:47
I could have started the YouTube channel. It could have flopped. It could have taken me a lot of time to make back the money, but I could have always found another job. I could have always rebuilt my skills. And so I'm so glad I made that decision in my twenties. And the second biggest risk that I ever took in my life was recently. But right before I turned 29, I burned down my business. And so just take advantage of the risk tolerance that you have in your twenties and even in your thirties and stop feeling like you can't afford to make the wrong choice because you can afford to make the wrong choice.
Vanessa Lau
00:14:47 - 00:15:31
So do the damn thing and fuck around with life and see what happens because it could lead to really amazing things. And the worst thing that can happen is you make a mistake, but luckily you are someone that doesn't have a family yet. You're someone that doesn't have a lot on the line. You can still be selfish. You have a lot of time, and you can easily rebuild. Go deep instead of wide, and we're talking about skill sets here. So if you are feeling lost, you don't know who you are yet, you're trying to figure out what works and what doesn't work for you, then it's completely normal to go wide, to dabble, to explore different subjects, to see what works and what doesn't work. But once you've identified something that you like and that you're good at, I want you to go deep on that thing.
Vanessa Lau
00:15:32 - 00:16:37
And the reason why is because, yes, with some time, some training, and some investments, you can absolutely turn a b player into an a player. But if you are already an a player in a specific topic, subject, or skill, and with some time, some money, some investment, we can bring a players to being a plus plus plus players. And it's the a plus plus plus players that become world class at what they do, and they really stand out in life. They really stand out in society. And the best part of that is life becomes so much easier when you just double down on what feels easy and what you're passionate about. And even if you don't think that thing that you're good at or the thing that you're interested in is gonna make you money, even if you believe that it's not gonna make you a dime, If you're good at it and you really develop that skill, the money will absolutely come because that is the one competitive advantage that you're gonna have among anyone else who's trying to do the same thing. In my case, I knew from a young age in high school that I loved making videos. I made videos even when I was in high school with my friends.
Vanessa Lau
00:16:38 - 00:17:34
I would spend hours and stay up late just making these dance videos. And I learned that this was something that I really love doing that I was passionate about. And at the time, no one thought that making videos like that would make you money, But because I'm good at it, because I don't give up on it because I actually enjoy it, I've been able to make multiple 1,000,000 of dollars from it. But if you don't even like YouTube or if you don't even like making videos and you're forcing yourself to do it because you think it's gonna make you money like it made me money, it's never gonna work. And so you want to go deep on the things that you love. You wanna go deep on the things that you're good at because that is your competitive advantage that other people will not have, and the money will come when you chase those things. If you are someone who is feeling lost, I want you to embrace being lost. I created so much unnecessary fear and anxiety for myself when I was feeling lost in my career at 23, and also when I was feeling lost about my business at 28.
Vanessa Lau
00:17:35 - 00:18:28
But I learned that being lost is such a beautiful thing because it's an uncomfortable stage in your life where your old self is gone, and you haven't met your new self yet. I think that's incredibly exciting, and I wish that I knew that sooner so that I could reframe that for myself. And rather than seeing being lost as being a shameful and negative thing, that I just fully embraced it as a process of life, as a process of meeting my new self, and realize that it's not a crisis. It's an awakening. It's an exploratory phase. And I think the moment that you can reframe that in your life, the more peace you will give yourself and the more grace you will give yourself as well. One thing that I wish I did sooner in my twenties is understanding the importance of politics. I was raised without really knowing anything about politics.
Vanessa Lau
00:18:28 - 00:19:17
My parents never talked about it. I never really voted. I never thought it was that important. I didn't think it mattered. And it wasn't until recently where I realized how important understanding your rights are and understanding politics are in general. And oftentimes, you won't realize how important politics plays in your life until it actually affects you, until the service that you relied on gets taken away, until you work your ass off to make all that money, and then the government takes it and you don't agree with where your money is going or the amount that was taken until your rights get violated. And I wish I didn't have to turn 30 for it to actually affect me now to realize how important politics will play in my life or in anyone's life. And so if you're in your twenties, just start reading up on it.
Vanessa Lau
00:19:17 - 00:19:57
Don't let it affect your mental health too much, but have a basic understanding because knowing your rights is so important. And when you actually understand politics and how things are, you'll also make better decisions on where you might wanna live, how you might wanna set up your business, how you might wanna set yourself up financially. It all links together. And so I wish I learned more about politics a lot sooner. I wish it was talked more about amongst my family sooner. And I wish that it was just something that I became more interested in when I was younger. Your values will change over time in the course of your twenties, and that is completely normal. What you experience in your early twenties and what you want in your early twenties may change as you enter your late twenties.
Vanessa Lau
00:19:58 - 00:21:34
And it can be a very confusing time period when you experience a values change, especially if your external environment does not match the new values that you're coming into. And I wish I knew this sooner so that I would feel less shame and less confusion, and that I would make the right decisions a lot faster than I did, and I would have less anxiety and emotion wrapped around it. And so, for example, when I was younger in my early twenties, I really valued a lot of the things that I mentioned early in this video, which was I value getting Chanel bags. I value getting Birkin bags driving a nice car, having a nice house, making multiple 1,000,000 of dollars. And then once I achieved all those things, my value started to shift and I got very confused and I got very disconnected and I got very unhappy and very depressed and very anxious. And it wasn't until I realized the reason why I was feeling all those things is because I was still doing the things that I no longer enjoyed because I wanted to please my younger self was when I had that moment and my moment was burning down my multiple seven figure business. Now you may not have such a radical change like I did, but you need to be brave enough to change your external environment to match the internal. Because the longer that you let that misalignment and you let that gap happen, the more confusion and shame and the more disconnected you will feel, and you will eventually burn out one way or the other when you when there is that disconnection between your values and your day to day actions.
Vanessa Lau
00:21:34 - 00:22:50
And so I wish someone told me about that sooner so that I can make the proper decision sooner and I didn't sit in it for too long. Don't ditch your friends just because you're on your own personal development journey. I think it's normal for some people in their twenties to pick up those personal development books, to build up their intellectual capital. But as a result, you may start thinking that your friends aren't good enough or the people around you aren't good enough, And you will start developing an ego, and you will start thinking that you are above others. But I learned that if you really want to grow, instead of putting other people down and thinking less of them because they're not on the same journey that you are, or they're not running at the same pace that you are, you should instead try your best to lift others up with you so that they can be at the level that they can be at. And so instead of ditching your friends because they're not making as much money as you, teach them how to make money. Instead of ditching your friend because they're not as fit as you, share resources with them on how to get fit. Instead of ditching your friend because they are not getting the same opportunities as you and they're not moving up in their career, open some doors for them.
Vanessa Lau
00:22:50 - 00:23:42
Now, of course, it's up to the other person to receive the invitation, and a lot of people, they don't want to grow. They don't want to be on the same timeline as you, and you have to respect that people will be on their own timelines and not force it, but you also have to make it not mean anything about you or anything about them. And I think that the best type of people are the ones that just accept people for who they are. They hold them to a certain potential that they know that they can be, but they don't rush the other person. They they let them find their own way. And I think it was really sad when I was in my early twenties or mid twenties when I started going into this personal development journey that I just wasn't a good friend to other people. I didn't invest in my friendships as much as I could have because I developed an ego. And I thought that building a business was more important than anything else and that I was more important than anything else.
Vanessa Lau
00:23:42 - 00:24:22
But now realizing that friendships are really important and that you should be someone that lifts other people up instead of putting them down or developing that type of ego because your ego will bite you in the ass in the future. And so, yeah, don't ditch your friends just because you are on your own personal development journey. Let everyone fall into it on their own timeline. Get to know your family. Ask questions. Collect the stories. My grandma passed away a couple months ago. It was just a few weeks after I visited her in Hong Kong, and I genuinely thought that I would visit her again and again, but she passed away suddenly a few months after I left or not even a few weeks after I left.
Vanessa Lau
00:24:22 - 00:25:07
And my biggest regret was not asking her about her story. How did she grow up? How did she meet my grandpa? What did she value in her life? What are her hopes and dreams for me? What are the lessons that she's learned in her course of her life? There was just so much wisdom that I could have taken and so much more understanding of my own family that I could have gotten. And she passed away right before I turned 30. She passed away in January, and I really do wish that I asked her more questions. And I think that when while you still can, you should ask your parents questions. You should ask your grandparents questions. Just anyone that you care about. Time is fleeting, and you never know when life will end.
Vanessa Lau
00:25:07 - 00:25:50
And that's a really sad thing to say, but that's the matter of life. Right? Like, tomorrow's not guaranteed. And I really do wish that I spent my twenties asking more questions specifically to my own family and to the people that I loved. And so if you're watching this video, I encourage you to ask the people that you care about more questions about their life and how they've come to be and your origin and understanding that. Because I think through that process, you're gonna learn a lot about yourself too, especially if you're asking your family members. And if you don't have family, ask the people that you care about. A professor that you're with, your boss, anyone that you love. And so, anyways, I hope you like this video.
Vanessa Lau
00:25:50 - 00:26:23
These are just the different lessons that I've learned throughout my twenties that I would share to someone who is in their twenties, whether it's your early twenties, mid twenties, or late twenties. I'm so excited to be 30 and to enter this new decade. And, I also wanna thank all of you who commented your wisdom in my birthday post. I actually asked a lot of people that were older than me to give me their wisdom, and I learned a lot. And that's what inspired this video. So thank you so much for watching. I'll do something fearless today, and I'll see you in my next video. Bye, guys, and take care.