Foreign.
Something went wrong!
Hang in there while we get back on track
From Textbook to Triumph
The Inclusion Bites Podcast
From Textbook to Triumph
JL
Speaker
Joanne Lockwood
SG
Speaker
Scott Grates
00:00 "Inclusion Bites: Sparking Change" 04:09 City Mindsets and Seasonal Escapes 08:58 Building Relationships for Business Growth 10:13 Contrarian Vision and Relationships 14:08 "Creating a Collaborative Business Network" 19:11 Human Connection in Business 22:55 "It's Who Knows You" 25:09 "Opportunities in the Digital Age" 28:07 "Leveraging Comments for Visibility" 33:04…
✨ Magic Chat
Don't have time for the full episode?
Ask anything about this conversation — get answers in seconds, sourced from the transcript.
Try asking
Featured moments
Highlights
“The Power of Relationship Marketing Quote: "Or I can go deep with the geese who lay the golden eggs each day. And when they do, if I have the relationship with the geese, then they're going to send the golden eggs my way. And, and what I found is that the, the geese are doing the hard work. They're, they're building the relationships, they're building the trust with their customers.”
“I never wanted to be known as an insurance agent. I don't know if anyone does. You know, I wanted to be known as, as a husband, as a father, as a community leader, a thought leader, someone who has the servant heart that pours back into the place that we call home and we love. And oh, by the way, if you need help with insurance, I can do that too.”
“Contrarian Thinking in the Age of AI: "if everyone's thinking this is the way to go, I want to Peek the other way, you know, and see what's happening over there or can we make something happen in a different direction so that I stand out because again, I'm in a very competitive, commoditized. Well, I guess every industry is competitive and commoditized now, right? With, with AI and everything emerging, we've really levelled the playing field in a lot of ways.”
“The Old School Days of Starting a Tech Business "I started my first IT company back in 1998 and that's pre iPhone, it was pre broadband, it was dial up at the time and you were writing letters to people, sending out brochures and printing stuff, weren't you?”
“If I'm thinking I'll drop in on the way back and we can stop in there, I can order it on my phone before we set off for the first place, and I turn up, I put the little code in that I'm sat in front of and then they'll deliver it to my window, straight in my car and all I gotta do is eat it.”
Timeline
How it unfolded
Read along
Full transcript
Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of inclusion, belonging and societal transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a world? Remember, everyone not only belongs, but thrives. You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo and share stories that resonate deep within. Ready to dive in? Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect and inspire action together. Don't forget, you can be part of the conversation too. Reach out to jo,lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your insights or to join me on the show.
So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites.
Today is episode 186 with the title From Textbook to Triumph and I have the absolute honour and privilege to welcome Scott Grates. Scott is a visionary entrepreneur and best selling author who harnesses relationship marketing to accelerate business growth whilst empowering students for real world success. When I asked Scott to describe his superpower, he said that it is transforming relationships into reciprocal success. Hello, Scott, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Joanne. I'm so excited to, to be here and have this conversation wherever it goes.
Yeah, no, it's phenomenal. I'm honoured. And you're joining us from over the other side of the Atlantic from me, so somewhere. Yeah, North America.
So I am in central New York and we were chatting a little bit before we hit record here, you know, New York, everyone immediately thanks. New York City, Times Square, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building. That's about three hours south of where I am. I'm actually a little bit closer to Canada, Montreal, Canada, than I am New York City, but right smack dab in the middle of the state, about an hour west of the state capital of Albany.
Wow, I've never been that far north. I've been to New York City. New York, New York, yeah, the double barreled name. Yeah, I worked over there in the 90s, I think it was mid-90s I was there and yeah, I guess it's changed a bit. But yeah, I remember it being near Thanksgiving and then you had all the steam rising up from the under road, pipe work and stuff.
You know, people, a lot of people love the city. I'm a more of a country lover myself. You know, we're in the mountains and surrounded by beautiful lakes and in the fall it's just gorgeous when the foliage changes and all the different colours and you know the air just smells crisp and clean. Very different than the city. But we do like to sneak down there once in a while and catch a show or a ball game. The food is amazing and, but just a little, a little too busy. The older I get the, the, the more space I enjoy.
Yeah, no, I relate to that. I can relate to that. I, when I was working over there I, I spent two or three weeks in New York City, did a bit in Miami and then I, I flew across to the west coast and did a bit around la, San Diego, Beverly Hills area. And there's a real distinction between the New York City or very on top of yourself. Everything's fast paced. You get out of LA and everything's far apart. Place of life is different and it's incredible. I guess you get the difference between where you are upstate in that as you say in the mountains and the scenery.
It is interesting because America is you know, probably a dozen good sized cities and then all the rest is just small towns like I live in and there's so many similarities but then they are very different geographically where when you look at Boston, New York, Philly, the Northeast in particular, there's just this grinded out, fast paced go, go, go mentality and then you get down into where you're talking about Miami and then out west into you know, la, San Diego and it's just more of a laid back chill. You know, one is live to work, one is work to live. I prefer the latter but we've got three teenagers and I'm not wishing years away but when the youngest is, is out of the house we will. They call it Snowbir. We fly south for the winter. Winters don't do it for me. So we'll be down in Florida from, from probably Christmas until May and then come back to New York and enjoy the summers and fall foliage here and then you know, take off again.
My memory of Florida is always the humidity and the, the thunderstorms and the flash rain that pulls down.
You get that? Yeah, every, every area you got to get, you know, the good with the bad. But they, you know, people don't realise Florida experiences winter as well. We were down there this January and it was in the high 40s, you know, so pretty cool by Florida. The winter months aren't as bad. The humidity certainly is very real.
Memorial Day I had a guest on here I think back in January this year and she was from Atlanta and she was saying it's the coldest Atlanta she's known in Many, many years. So you've had a real mix of weather this year it was, it was.
A really, really cold winter, I guess, you know, north to south here in America, but the year before that was very mild, so who knows? I don't know. I don't get into climate change and, you know, just because I'm not that I don't believe in it or, you know, I just, I'm not smart enough to understand how all that works. So I'm trusting people who can figure this stuff out.
Yeah, there's the old expression, stay in your own lane. But, you know, I appreciate sometimes you want to step out and not. And not be blinkered, but sometimes you think, hang on a minute, yeah, I haven't got an answer for everything, even though I want to. But yeah, sometimes it's best to listen.
That comes with age, Joanne. You know, for years I wanted to have an answer for everything and I felt lesser if I didn't. And now I'm comfortable with the. I don't know. That's a, It's a great question, it's a great point. I don't know and I do. I find myself the older I get, the more comfortable I am knowing what I know and staying in my lane, like you said.
So when I introduced you, I described you as a visionary entrepreneur, which is a big, weighty title to sort of be labelled with, isn't it? Sort of. And a bestselling author, which is also another thing to live up to. So you talk about relationship building and you work with organisations, you work with people to try and empower them to have better success in the world through relationship marketing. Tell me a bit more about how you got into that and what that means.
Yeah, great question. Out of necessity is the quick answer. When I started my first business and it was an insurance agency, I had no business experience. We had two babies and diapers. We were coming off the 2008 financial meltdown where I had lost my job with HSBC, London based company. They got rid of six and a half thousand jobs on a Monday morning. I was one of them. And, you know, again, with age comes the understanding that when a window closes, a door opens and you often don't see it or understand it at the time, but everything is happening for us.
That's where, you know, faith, and it doesn't have to be religious faith, just the faith that things will work out, belief in the unseen and, you know, so when I opened the, the first agency, I couldn't advertise and market in traditional ways. Which are very expensive. And, and so I found a niche in, in relationship building, relationship marketing, really getting grassroots and diving into five different areas which, which we can talk about obviously, but you know, small businesses being the first one. And, and really this whole fable of the goose and the golden egg, you know, became very clear to me and that if the golden egg is, is a prospect, a potential customer, I can spend tonnes of money that I didn't have or you know, run up debt and, and try to get all the golden eggs I can in traditional competitive ways like everyone else was doing. Or I can go deep with the geese who lay the golden eggs each day. And when they do, if I have the relationship with the geese, then they're going to send the golden eggs my way. And, and what I found is that the, the geese are doing the hard work. They're, they're building the relationships, they're building the trust with their customers.
And so I said, who are the people that are already doing business with the people I want to do business with that already have those relationships and I can just pour value into them without asking for anything in return and then nurture those relationships over time so that when they have an insurance need or their customer has an insurance need, they go, hey, you should go talk to Scott. And it's a long term approach and this is why people get frustrated with it, right? But, but ultimately I was able to start with, with fellow small business owners here in my community. Then I got into the schools, I got active with service organisations, I started focusing on my, my customers, right, my call, my star customers to try to clone those people, right, that I want to do business with and then just very active on social media, aware of my personal brand. And I never wanted to be known as an insurance agent. I don't know if anyone does. You know, I wanted to be known as, as a husband, as a father, as a community leader, a thought leader, someone who has the servant heart that pours back into the place that we call home and we love. And oh, by the way, if you need help with insurance, I can do that too. And so really that's, that's the longer version of out of necessity.
But you know, I just didn't have money. And you talk about being a visionary, which I'm sure someone wrote that for me, but, but the truth is I'm a, I'm a contrarian. You know, I, I, I have a knack of looking at things and saying, hey, if everyone's thinking this is the way to go, I want to Peek the other way, you know, and see what's happening over there or can we make something happen in a different direction so that I stand out because again, I'm in a very competitive, commoditized. Well, I guess every industry is competitive and commoditized now, right? With, with AI and everything emerging, we've really levelled the playing field in a lot of ways. So I'm always looking for, for new approaches and this relationship piece, what I really love about it a, I just love people and I enjoy building relationships with the right people. And not all people are good people. So let's be clear about that. And not I don't want, I don't want to work with all people, but when I do find those people.
But the other piece of that is in this digitally dominated world, what was once old is new again. And the power of eyeball to eyeball and really loving on people and caring about them like that, AI can't replace that. And you know, however advanced we get digitally, we still want to be seen and heard and loved and know that we matter. And so really that's my focus and what I teach my teams is to just love on people. The right people expect nothing in return. And what happens is when you do that, suddenly people want to reciprocate. They want to work with you and do business with you and refer others to you. And that's been our model for going on 20 years now.
Picking out some of the nuggets in there, the golden egg and the goose. You're not focusing on the egg, you're focusing on the geese. I love that idea. And I'm a great believer in relationship marketing. I'm a great believer in building relationships. Pay it forward. My model is more altruistic than paying it forward. I don't expect to ever see the return.
You just give like, like you don't expect to see a great method. That way you become very authentic and people can believe and trust in you that you're not doing it for a reward, you're doing it because you're a great person. I think that that approach really resonates for me. But you were also saying, you know, this is 2008 financial crisis. I was trying to customer mind back to what I was doing. So I had my own IT company back then. And so we were selling services and we were dealing with businesses suddenly closing up shop or constricting. They weren't hiring anymore.
Had a knock on through every sector of business back in, back in 2008. I remember it well. But I started my first IT company back in 1998 and that's pre iPhone, it was pre broadband, it was dial up at the time and you were writing letters to people, sending out brochures and printing stuff, weren't you? And stick it in the main, it'll be a franking machine. If it's frank it, post it here. After we get letters in the morning we'd open them or bin them. Way of marketing. And it's gone through a big cycle I think back in those days I was involved in organisations I think, I don't know if you have it in the States called BNI Business Networking International. So you are really taught me about the giver's game model and this getting in there and in the weeds and getting to know people's relationships.
I think you're just saying to me is really resonating. But today in the digital world and you mentioned AI, it's sometimes hard to do that again, isn't it?
Yeah, you bring up so many good points there. The first one I want to talk about is people's BS metres are higher than ever nowadays. So if you're not doing it for the right reasons and with sincerity and being genuine, authentic people will pick up on that. So don't even bother doing it. That's the first piece. And then you know, the other thing is the bni. Yeah, we do have BNI here and so I often equate this to what I've done. My model and the communities I serve as.
I've built my, my own BNI for lack of a better term without the BNI stuff, you know, and BNI is very. I scratch your back, you scratch mine, I give with the expectation that you're going to come with so many leads, you know, we don't do that. We just find like minded people who, who have this go giver mentality, servant heart and, and we, we're there for each other, you know, and we support one another and there's none of the red tape, you know, kind of rules and you know, whatnot. So, so yeah, I say all the time if you're not in BNI because it is an exclusive club, right, they only take one person from each industry and so if you're not in the club, make your own. And again that, that speaks to the contrarian in me where it's like, hey, you know, if everyone's doing this, well let me just go start my own thing and find people I, I want to do business with. So yeah, the, the AI, I'm Embracing it. So, full disclosure, I use AI every day and, and I think it's, it's a fantastic tool. And it's funny how you were talking about 2008 and I was picturing as you were talking like, almost like a black and white scene with, with these old printing presses and I'm thinking It was only 17 years ago.
Right. But it feels like an eternity. And yeah, I was, I was with you. Right. We were still typing out things with certain pro is wild. But yeah, the AI, I'm embracing it. But, but as a tool, you know, and I, and I. It will replace certain things, it will replace certain people.
But here's what I believe is that, you know, I'm not scared it's going to replace me. So long as I know how to utilise that tool to, to do what I need to do with my businesses and, and keep growing with it. The people who will be replaced are the ones who just refuse to adapt and, you know, they, they want to die on that hill of I'm going to do it this way and we're not going to, you know, and, and so, you know, I'm going. You have to go with it or get run over by it, because it's not stopping.
Yeah. I mean, we've seen Blockbuster and video hire companies being taken out by streaming, being by Netflix. Traditional broadcast TV has been taken out, print media has been taken out by online stuff. It's just an evolution. It's just happening quicker than it's ever happened before in human history. If you look at the way Sam Altman is, releasing ChatGPT models every six months is a quantum leap forward. What was true one minute is now a potential in the next minute is now reality. And if I was a graphic designer, if I'm a coder, the latest canva update, you can, you can now generate entire websites, entire entire games just by ideating into a chat box.
It's crazy.
It really is. And I, I think for most of the listeners, as wild as you think things are going to be in the next couple years in this space, I don't think you're even scratching the surface with your wildest thoughts. I think it's going to go way beyond that. I don't know. We can, we can riff for hours on this, but, but yeah, it's, I guess what happens. Yeah, don't fear it. You know, we initially fear change, but, you know, I do believe in the human spirit and I do believe in the human heart and, you know, again, it's a Tool. But ultimately we need each other.
And I do believe that in the future, when robots are running restaurants, people will pay more to go to a restaurant and have a human wait staff. You know, I think that the humans will actually be at a premium because we'll want to get away from the machines. But again, that's rabbit hole stuff. But yeah, humans aren't going away.
I get that. I mean, if I'm fencing, eating a McDonald's meal, for example, I've got the app on my phone. If I'm thinking I'll drop in on the way back and we can stop in there, I can order it on my phone before we set off for the first place, and I turn up, I put the little code in that I'm sat in front of and then they'll deliver it to my window, straight in my car and all I gotta do is eat it. And that, that helps. If I walk into, into the, into the restaurant, there's a big terminal. I can push the buttons and tap the screen and then pay for it and I can just wait for them to give it to me or I can go sit in my car. That kind of works for me that, that's the ultimate transactional fast food. Often, often I'll walk into McDonald's and go, I don't want to do all that.
I just want to talk to you. I just want to explain what I want. I want you to give me a Big Mac, I want to give you large fries and I want a really nice vanilla shake. And I want to have that conversation. Sometimes it depends on where I am in my mind. If I don't want to talk to anybody, I've got a transactional way. If I want to have human contact, I can. And sometimes I'll sit in my car on my own, sometimes I want to sit in a restaurant and it's.
I think we can consume in different ways now, can't we? I think, and choose it ourselves.
Yeah, I agree with that 100%. And, and that's, you know, really why I'm all in on, on the relationship piece, right to, to business. And I don't know. And everyone's different, every business is different, but I just enjoy the human side of what we do. And I'm in risk management and, and we talk about protecting assets and building assets and wealth and you know, I. These are very emotional, you know, conversations and behavioural, you know, habits are so important. And yeah, you can type into to chat and ask it for financial advice and you can give it all of Your numbers and tell it your hopes and dreams and goals and it will build probably a plan that's better than what I could do for my clients. But you know, when they're confused or scared or there was a market movement or they had an accident or they were diagnosed with an illness, or they lost someone they loved, you know, these, these real life moments happen, like we're still going to need each other and, and so, you know, I, I, that's why I just keep going back to it.
It's a tool and it will help and it's made me, and I'm sure you as well, Joanne, 10x more efficient already, right? I mean, you took my bio and you know, plugged it in and chat tells you, you know, this great stuff about me, which you didn't have to research and think about on your own, but I do the same thing, you know, and I've written training manuals and courses that, you know, it took me like an hour, which would normally be weeks of work. So it's making us more efficient. But I think too much of anything is problematic, you know, and so it has to be part of the puzzle. I don't think we can be all.
In right there, the word you mentioned in there, and I latched onto it and you used the word risk and I can't remember the exact quote, but something like trust is hard fought but lost in an instant and you can never regain it or something is kind of the. And I guess when you're talking about here in your financial investments, your advising clients, a lot of that comes from risk and trust. Do I trust Chat GPT with my home, my family, my car, my whole life? No. Do I trust you? Maybe not now, but I can ask you questions and we can build up a relationship. I can meet other people who trust you. ChatGPT. I could meet other people who don't trust it at all. Or, you know, the trust with ChatGPT is cautious trust, isn't it? It's an assistant.
I don't empower it. So you're talking about relationship building and trust is the key in there, isn't it?
Yeah. And I'll give you a word that you used earlier, which is empathy. And this is so huge, right, because you know, AI can give us facts and stats and a plan and words, but I don't know how often it's going to say, I hear you, Joanne. I know the struggle you're going through. I feel the same way. I've been there. Right. I'm here to listen sometimes we don't even give advice, we just give an ear and we're there for people emotionally when they need us and we can guide them.
You know, just that empathy piece is so important. And again, as the world goes towards mass emails and social and SEO and, you know, I, I just still believe that if you have a couple hundred really strong relationships with the right people now, every business is different, but in my business, a couple hundred solid relationships. So not just me, but my, my whole team, we can do everything we need to accomplish for our customers by just knowing a couple hundred of the right people and, you know, diving deep into those relationships. So, yeah, empathy is a word we focus on a lot.
There's a phrase which I believe I coined, not anybody else in, but please tell me if you've heard it. Otherwise there's the old adage, it's not what you know, it's who you know. And my spin on that is no longer what you know or who you know. It's all about who knows you. So, and what I often say to people is, with the best and the best of intentions, I don't care who you are as long as you know who I am. And so that's about building this kind of first century personal brand, about creating that Persona that tells the story about your values, your, your hopes and fears and dreams that people can then buy into you. And I remember being always told at networking meeting, don't give your business card out, collect other people, that way you can email them, that way you've got control of the conversation. But I learned over many years that I would never call them, I would never phone them up, I would never do all this.
So actually I want you to know who I am so that, that's more important to me. I leave a room with 50 people knowing me and then they will go, oh yeah, I remember Joanne, I remember Joanne. But I can never contact the thousands of people I come in Contact with on LinkedIn Everywhere else now the relationship there changed a bit.
That's a great take, you know, so my book is called Referrals Done Right and the old school networking is in my opinion the wrong way to do it. And that's what you're talking about with these forced social interactions and networking and the grabbing the cards and following up and making the calls. And I love your take on it, which is, you know, I want you to know me. And I tell people all the time that you aren't who you think you are in the business world. You are who your Google reviews say you are, because that's what other people are saying about you. And my, my kids, I, I just try to impress upon them so much. All kids that I talk to spent a lot of time with, with working with high school students is this brand awareness and, and what an amazing time for them to be alive and be able to build your personal brand. Because, you know, I mean, I'm staring down 50, but even in, during my years when, when you go back like you, you had to know certain people to get into certain universities or get certain jobs or get into certain rooms, get certain meetings.
You know, you had to have a certain amount of money or social status or, you know, there was these family connections and social ties that were so important today. I'm not saying that's not important, but for the kids, the playing fields level now, you know, and it doesn't matter. You can be in your bedroom and creating amazing content and a personal brand and become a millionaire. You know, you have access to, to the Internet and know you have access to information. You know, holding a cell phone, a 16 year old today has access to more information than President Barack Obama did when he first took office. You know, 20 years, not even 20 years ago. And you know, Ted Talks and YouTube and you know, just people that some of the, the greatest thought leaders in the world, all their information's out there for free, you know, but kids like to still scroll TikTok and watch Cat videos and stuff and I'm like, all right, well that's all right once in a while. But you know, spend 20, 30 minutes a day, you know, digging into something that's of interest to you that, that you can leverage and, and use in the future.
But yeah, I, I don't even remember what your initial question was there, but.
It'S about the power of personal brand and.
Oh, the personal brand. Yeah, so, so yeah. And you know, and then there's a, a cautionary tale in there too, is that everything you do put out there can haunt you forever. You know, so, so choose wisely. You know, how you want people to see you, how you want to be known, because it can be very powerful in either direction.
I don't know if this is your, your lane, but I'm going to ask this question anyway. One thing I've noticed about my own evolution, if you like on social media and I post stuff on LinkedIn, whatever it may be, is in the early days you kind of, you're a bit of a stalker. You have a look around, you don't even want to leave a Footprint in the snow. You don't want anyone to know you've been there. You won't, you won't like, you won't touch. You just here and have a look at someone's content and you get brave and think, oh, I like that, or I react to it, or I think, oh, that was insightful. I'll use a LinkedIn insightful. Then eventually you start bringing a little comment, then you may reshare it and time progress as you get, become more confident in who you are, then you start writing your own content.
I think for I've taken this content and I think this on it and then eventually I would say we use the word visionary entrepreneur. You break into that sort of thought leader bracket where you're now originating. And then the magic happens when people start sharing your content that you've originated and they're liking and sharing, suddenly that snowball starts tumbling.
Yeah, admittedly this is a space I was pretty weak in LinkedIn specifically, um, and I hired a LinkedIn coach because I realised how weak I was. So I sought, sought out a professional. And one thing that my big takeaway from LinkedIn is when you can create content to support other people who already have the audience. Again, this kind of goes back to the goose and the golden egg.
Right.
Um, so, so if you have a hundred thousand followers and I'm one of them and I can create something insightful to support or add to your thought, now a hundred thousand people can potentially see my comment because I'm piggybacking off of your audience. And so I think a lot of times we think we have to create our own post. But you know, I might have 700 people that follow me. I would spend, you know, for the audience, I would spend more time trying to contribute to bigger thought leaders posts to be seen on LinkedIn and then just make sure that whatever the first few words of your, your title or who you are, make sure they're, they're powerful and will resonate. Let people know exactly who you are and what you do. So that if they read your, your comment, they see the first few words of your, your title, they go, ooh, maybe I should follow this person and they'll click on you and, and do the same.
Great. And yeah, that's a great way of levelling up, isn't it? Or stepping up is to. Bit like one of those weeds that has a little seed, sticky seeds that get stuck onto your socks. You know, you're trying to stick onto somebody else and hopefully they're going to take you out and fertilise you somewhere else in the world.
Yeah, well, you know, think about it when we talk about getting into rooms, right, and the who, not how and who, you know, and it'd be very difficult for me to. And I'll just use like, Tim Ferriss, right? So it'd be very difficult for me to get a meeting with Tim Ferriss or share a conversation with him. But right now, you and I can go on to Tim Ferriss, LinkedIn, find something that's intriguing to us and come up with something insightful we can add to the conversation. And boom. And I'm in the same room, virtual, albeit as Tim Ferriss and his audience, you know, and so, yeah, that could be like a dandelion weed sticking on.
A sock, but, yeah, no, it is. Yeah, I agree. Now, I say I'm a great fan of that sort of thing as well, but what I've started doing lately is identifying people's content that resonates either positive or negative with me and then doing my own opinion piece whilst quoting it. So it's still standalone content, but quoting. I was reading this on someone's post the other day, so it gives me another spin and take on their content. I tag them in on it and then they can choose to engage or not, but at least their followers are seeing mine as well. I've tried doing that a lot lately, which allows me to have a. Rather than just copy and paste what they've put, I want to really make sure that I'm adding, adding my view on it and as to why I agree or why I disagree or what they've missed.
It's a good, good way of spinning on, isn't it?
Million Dollar Question. Do you use AI to help you with those often?
Yeah, I've got, I've got a, I, I, I've written my own custom context. I've, I've, I've, I've worked on my tone of voice, my, my Persona, who I am, my brand values. I, I paste loads of stuff I've written into it and I, I'll, I'll take something and I'll say that this is my view on this and I often, sometimes dictate into chat GPT or just type it in. So this is what I'm thinking. This is where I want to go. I want you to go deep on this. I wanted to really critically analyse it. I want you to find everything that is, you know, positive and negative.
I want you to. There's a couple of philosophical techniques. One is called The Moss and the Bailey, where you find a really easy statement and then you have something that you, you link to it as being indefensible. So, so I asked it to test it out using all these theory models, applied bias on it and all these things. So sometimes you get a really good opinion. I look at it and go, yeah, don't you get that? So I take everything it's given me and feed it back into the machine again and say, look, you've just given me all this. Give me something out of that. So sometimes I just massage it and keep kneading it and kneading it and kneading it with my own thoughts.
And then sometimes something pops out and you go, that's it. I'll have the saying I used earlier about it's not what you know, it's who you know, actually, it's who knows you. I'll feed that in as a, as a hook into something, you know, one of my sayings, hopefully I coined and then use that as the hook for my perspective on a topic. So I'm still coming up with a metaphor or the analogy and then using it to steer the content, which is often means you do get unique content out of AI, give it the right prime. And I read it and think, yeah, I would have written that. Yeah, I would have written that. I look through it and go, yeah, that sounds like me. I show it to somebody else.
Oh, that's, that's, that's insightful. That's, that's powerful. It's like, well, it is, yeah, it's. But I'm not, I'm not cheating because I'm not, I'm not handing over the keys to the AI engine I'm using as a. Because I, I used to hire a, I used to have a comms expert, a media person who every week we have a meeting, we'd have a one to one and she'd interview me on various topics and she would go away and write me an article which I'd then edit a bit and then tweak and then she'd finish it off and she'd send it off to all these magazines and publishers. That's all I'm doing. Instead of paying her a thousand bucks a month, I'm using AI to do the same process.
I couldn't agree with you more. You know, this last book I had a team of writers, you know, so, so they all had different roles, but there were four, four of them that we met weekly and they'd give some assignments and they'd you know, ghostwrite some stuff and we'd go back and forth. And then, you know, there was a team of editors, you know, and there was just all these people that helped bring this to market. And to Your point, for $20 a month, I can now replace them. And I've created what I call my Scott bot. Right. So, same thing. I've uploaded all my blogs and work and books and, you know, I was preparing for a career day at a local school recently and I wanted a theme and I wanted some personal quotes and anecdotes, just like you do.
I just started talking to my own bot and it was giving me quotes from my own work that I had forgotten about. And in a matter of minutes, I had this perfectly outlined 20 minute presentation to go in and share with the kids. So I don't, you know, there's this talk, is it cheating that? It's not cheating. Right. It's doing the same thing that we've always done, just with a machine.
Yeah. One of the things I do is I do a lot of advice and guidance on transgender rights and things like that. And, you know, you've got stuff going on in the States, we've got stuff going on here in the uk and a lot of people want answers to some of these law changes, legislation changes. And I'm able to take all of the legislative guidance that's come out as PDFs from the courts, whatever it is, dump it into the model and say, look, this is what the law was, this is what the guidance is. This is the latest Supreme Court ruling. This is that, that and that and that and that. I want you to give me some clarity, give me a guidance note on that. It spits it out and I feed it back in again, say, look, I want you to test this out.
People are going to criticise me for this advice. I want you to really make sure this is robust and evident everything you're saying and tell me this is safe. Then it goes through and goes, yeah, this is because it gives me a full analysis and says at the bottom it says, if you want to be doubly sure, just tweak this or put this little disclaimer in here. And then when I post it on LinkedIn, I got these people piling on, saying, you can't say that, you can't say that. I take their comments, feed it back into my model and say, they've said this nasty thing about me. What do you do? They said, no, they're wrong, they're wrong, they're wrong, they're wrong. Or actually they've got a small point here. Tweak it and put this, and then adjust it.
So I'm allowing other people to critique my work back in the morning, which.
Is kudos to you, you know, for being vulnerable and experimental, you know, with, with the work and, and taking feedback. Because I'm sure you do a lot of ignorance, you know, so that's a bit. How do you. Yeah, how do you, how do you, you know, extrapolate the, the positive stuff, you know, the feedback or potentially positive from just the pure ignorance and hate. But yeah, that's, that's amazing work.
The technique works whatever field you're in. Hang on a minute. It's called peer review by scientists. That's what they do. They write a paper, they peer review it, and they all have it, they all try and pull it apart and then they build a better model as a result of the peer review. So that's all you're doing, just using AI to be your hive mind. You work with in high school, do you work with students or is it mainly business school?
I work with all students. I love kids, right? So I wanted to be a teacher, but I also wanted money. So there was a real odds how passionate am I about teaching? And so I found a way to, to do both, right? Where as a, an entrepreneur, I make a good living, but I'm also uniquely qualified to go into the classroom and help teach children things they can't find in the textbook. You know, and that's the whole think outside the textbook approach. I say often that schools are good at teaching kids what to think, but as you know, Joanne, in the real world, we need to know how to think. You know, critical thinking, discernment, teaching, self awareness and understanding that these negative thoughts, the self doubt, the inner critic, the imposter syndrome, even though they don't understand, that's what it's called. But all these thoughts and feelings, it's standard equipment in their brains. But they're thinking, they're not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, confident enough, worthy of certain things because they're having these feelings.
But they don't understand that everyone else in the room is having the same feelings. Whether they, they admit it or not, they are. And so the kid's ability, you know, and again, going back to digital, I call it apps, aps, their ability to acknowledge it, that, hey, I hear this voice, I understand that it's not just me. This is standard stuff. Prove it wrong. Look for a moment in their past where they have done certain things and then the S is silence it. And I teach kids this three second pause. I don't, you know, it's not unique to me, but that's the whole, I got this right, so acknowledge it, prove it wrong, silence it.
And so, you know, really they say you're, you're best qualified to help the person you once were. And when I look back and did some deep work into my childhood, I realised I had real confidence issues. I had some father issues. Not that he was a bad dad at all, but he was overbearing, demanding and I could never live up to his expectations. And it filled me with self doubt that I was never good enough. And so I look at adults in the corporate world that I work with now and we do trainings for them around sales specifically, but they're still dealing with the things that they haven't worked out from their childhood. A lot of them, and really adults become deteriorated teenagers as we go. In many ways, not all I'm painting with a wide brush here, but you know, my, my focus with the kids is, is really no matter what you want to do, you know, and first of all, let's not talk about what you want to do, let's talk about who you want to be, right? Because that's far more important than anything you're going to do.
Just understand that you're always going to have critics, you're always going to have self doubt, you're going to think you don't belong, you're not worthy. And all of that's bs, right? Because you are worthy and deserving of everything you're willing to work for and everything that's important to you. And really just diving into that critical thinking, that discernment, that just continuous improvement. And really the confidence comes from not the textbook or things you, you. I can't teach you how to be confident. Tony Robbins can't teach you how to be confident. Right? Confidence is earned, not learned. And so you've got to be willing to take a shot, fall on your face, get back up and take another shot.
And, and failure is just feedback. And I think, you know, we in schools, we, we think failure and we think oh my gosh, that's. But, but you know, Joanne, every, every successful person you've ever talked to on the show is, is their past is loaded with failures, right? And that's how we build strength and adversity and courage and confidence. And so those types of messages is really what I want to get out to the next generation, to empower them to, to do whatever it is that they want to do as long as they're being the person true to themselves that they want to be looking.
Now I was thinking, wow, that's, that's, that's so, so true. The. I think someone asked me a little while ago, how am I able to stay so calm, so resilient? We used to call it bounce back ability, I think in the 90s. How do I handle that? I said, well, I've messed up a lot in my life and you don't get 60 years old without messing a lot up. I think what it is, you just learn over time that it's just brush it off, you're going to get up, the earth's going to rotate, the sun's going to come up and everything's going to be okay tomorrow. And you learn after a while that you've messed up so many times, you've learned so many lessons that you're more confident to approach today in a different light. And I think that's, maybe that's the problem. What we, we trying to fast track our younger generation to have that resilience without having been through the learning curve, if you like.
We have to let them fail a bit and we're not creating environments where they can.
Yeah, you got to earn your scars, you know. And you have. I have. But, but that's not a quick and easy. There's, you know, metaphor. But there's no elevator to the top. You gotta take the stairs, right? And wherever you want to go, it's one step at a time. And sometimes you don't want to take that next step or it's scary or hard or you know, just, you're fearful, but you just gotta keep climbing.
And you know, again, it's kind of a cliche, corny metaphor, but it's true with the fast track. And I fear for our kids. I call them the microwave society now because they want everything in an instant. But all good things take time. And if I could leave this generation, my kids generation with, with, you know, some parting words, it's don't be in such a rush. You know, all good things take time. Embrace failure, right? Learn from it, take some chances.
You.
Know, and it's okay not, not to know everything right now. So, so yeah, I do fear that we're, we're pushing them faster and again the technology plays into this. You know, then they should be pushed. You know, I, as hard as it is as a parent of three, I want my kids to experience pain and suffering and failure. And I know that sounds cold and it's so hard for us to just take a step back and let them mess something up. But if they don't, how do they ever learn? You know, and, and I think as parents, you know, we. We talk about this trophy generation where every kid gets a trophy and that's not the way it should be. And it's like, well, who's buying the trophies? Because the kids aren't, right? We're the ones doing this to them.
So if it's. If it's, you know, that important to you, then stop buying the trophies, but, you know, and let them feel a little bit of pain. But I don't know, it's ultimately, I. I guess empower is the word that comes back. Empower them to, to make decisions, trust them, and, and then care for them when they. They mess something up and, and help them, you know, work through that, because that's, that's the process of growth, development, and confidence.
Article somewhere, I can't remember where I saw it or who to quote and attribute it to, was that if you're looking to breed entrepreneurs or people with entrepreneurial spirit, you do not hire grade 8 students. Grade A students sail through life expecting to win everything. Whereas what you're looking at really is the grit and fighters at the bottom who are getting Cs, Ds, and Es, who are being stayed in after school or being told off for doing stuff, because those are the ones that are learning grit and determination, and they're also figuring out how to win in a world that doesn't let them win. Whereas if people who are used to winning, used to getting A's, they don't know how to handle a B. They don't know what to do with it.
I say all the time, you know, winning's easy, and that sounds maybe cold or pompous, but you find out what you're made of in defeat. Anyone can win. And I'll go, don't get me wrong, there's wrong ways to win too. But you get the point. And I don't want to knock the kids that are doing great in school. That's awesome. But you're right. I mean, look at the entrepreneurs, specifically.
Most of them are misfits and dropouts. And, you know, they. They had to kind of fight for everything and figure it out because nothing came easy to them. And when things come easy to you, unfortunately, my, My concerns for those students aren't, you know, up until 21, 22 years old, it's the entire life after that, when things stop, you know, no one, no one cares about your grades when you're 30, you know, and you're trying to raise a family and you have debt and you've got a career, you know, and you know, are you prepared for that?
Yeah. Where's your coping strategy? Where's your, your adversity defence? And you know, how do you fight back against that? Yeah. Do you think, I mean, you mentioned the phrase imposter syndrome earlier and I'd never become consciously aware of that in me until about 10 years ago. For various reasons in my life, I changed everything in my life and I suppose because I'd had a very linear progression, I left school, I did some electronics, I got out of electronics into computing and I was self taught. So I was largely in control of my own destiny at a time where nobody else in the 80s was really an expert in IT and computing. So I was up there in the beginning of the curve where I was never an imposter, I was always at the front of the curve. But I think later in life I pivoted and changed from IT into HR and recruitment and other things. That's where my imposter syndrome came because I suddenly had to acquire a new skill where I found inadequate.
If you're saying that younger people, younger generations are now seeing this, more hyper aware of it, is that very, that side effect of the hyper connected world or the pressure to always win or judging each other against each other all the time, what's created that pressure on them?
Yeah. So full disclosure, I'm not an expert, you know, in this, this is just my opinion, but from what I see, and I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said comparison is the thief of joy. I think social media in many ways is the worst thing that could have happened to kids. You know, they, they see everyone's highlight reel the best few minutes of the day, they see things with filters, they see AI generated things. Right. They're see, they're seeing things taking them as truth and they're wondering why they're not that good or cool or smart or athletic or pretty or you know, whatever it might be. And so I, I think when I, when I talk imposter syndrome with that group, you know, it's, it's really, to me the, the root cause is, is the comparison trap where they're constantly comparing themselves to a standard that isn't real. And I don't know if we're having enough conversations with kids about this, but we're seeing it and I don't know the stats but you know, but cyberbullying's awful.
The suicide rates are horrific. Why, you know, why, why are we allowing this as a society? It's crazy, you know, but money, I guess, is the answer. People in power not wanting to make those decisions, you know, I, I think it's, it's just we need to have more healthy conversations around what's real, what's not. You know, I don't know if you saw the Netflix special the Social Dilemma. It's worth watching if you haven't. But a couple quotes that stood out from that one is if, if you're not paying for a product, you are the product. And I was like, ooh, that one was a gut punch, right? Where, you know, you and I are smart enough now to realise that everything we do becomes part of our algorithm and everything is strategic and intentional when it comes to trying to sell us stuff or change our moods and emotions. Well, 11, 12 year olds don't understand that.
And you know, another thing that came out of that episode was they said, you know, about half a dozen white guys in Northern California are controlling the moods of millions of teenagers across the planet. And it's sick, but it's true. So I don't know, you know, when you. So imposter syndrome, maybe it's not the right phrase, but I, I think there's a confidence crisis in kids. A because they, they don't communicate. We, we spent all this time talking about relationships and relations and they're not just not comfortable and no fault of their own, they just haven't been exposed to the eyeball to eyeball. How do I converse with someone? How do I interact with Joanne? What do I ask? How do I start that conversation? You know, I do, I interview as an employer and it's sad just the lack of interpersonal soft skills that, you know, this generation, they lack. So, you know, that's another thing that I do is I offer for the students that I get in front of the opportunity to help them build their resume, do job shadowing.
I've got a couple of interns starting over the summer, mock interviews where we, we go through and help them prepare for interviews. Just those important relationship building soft skills. But yeah, it's, the phones are, are good and bad, right? And so I talk about AI being a tool and social media I'm on all the time and we talk about LinkedIn and we leverage it for, for certain business initiatives. But the younger generation is, you know, they're using it in different ways and I think there's just too much comparison and it's killing their confidence.
Yeah, that's something I was going to dive in with you and talk about is the. How do you get the modern generation to actually start meeting face to face? You know, I appreciate I'm probably stereotyping here, but they do a lot of online gaming, do a lot of online chat, very rarely pick the phone up to talk anymore. They're messaging with text or voice notes. So it's very asynchronous. That's a different skill to having to actually engage in a conversation like we're doing now, when you're a younger generation now and you're probably not used to those sort of conversations, everything is online or offline or asynchronous. And tech space, how do you help people break out of that into building what I would call a stronger relationship?
Great question, and I don't know if I have a great answer, but the. You know, sometimes you just have to. You have to force people to do things they don't want to do, you know, and, you know, I'll be the first to admit I much prefer a text to a phone call. And so I have to force myself to do things that I don't want to do, which is sometimes pick up the phone and call someone or, you know, meet with someone. And so the other thing I say a lot is that I can tell you the stove is hot, but until you touch it and burn yourself for that split second, you're not going to believe me. And so, you know, really pushing kids out of their comfort zone. And this is what we do with. And again, this is.
You talked about entrepreneurs not always being top performers of grades. Well, another key characteristic of entrepreneurs is a lot of them are former athletes, because athletes know how to work in a team. They know how to communicate, they know how to lose, deal with adversity. They're competitive, right? They want to win. And so, you know, how do we get kids working on teams and in groups, even if they're. If they're not into athletics? So I, I think at a younger age, it's important to, to get them working in groups and with each other. It's not comfortable, you know, but, you know, I think we just have to force people out of their comfort zone to realise that, hey, you know, I do like this person, or, you know, this is a relationship worth pursuing, which I don't know if you get that over Snapchat.
No, you're building one to many, many, many relationships like that. You're not. We're not actually building the meaning of full, short relationships, small relationships. I mean, I think when I was growing up, you have what, six, five or six meaningful relationships in your life at any one time, excluding your parents or maybe your siblings. But yeah, and that's. I remember the time management book. It was six things plus two things that are family on top of it or something. That's as much as you can hold in your head at once.
But now we're trying to hold too much, trying to keep too many things going, and we've become transactional, don't we? And I think the other thing I've found with relationships I've built over the years is they can be lopsided. One is where you're a giver, and one is where you're a taker. It's trying to find ones where you are symbiotic, where you give and take equally. If you don't phone for a day, they phone you or you phone them. But some relationships, you're always doing the phoning or the other person's always doing the phoning, and you think so it's trying to find those relationships where you are both bought into it. It's the hard bit, isn't it? 100. Yeah.
And that's. That's probably why you only have a handful of those really good relationships. And that's in many ways all you need. You know, it less is more when it comes to everything with productivity, efficiency, happiness. I think it's. Greg McEwen wrote the book Essentialism, and that was. Made a profound impact on me where I just started looking at all this stuff. And that could be materialistic stuff that could be baggage from my past, stuff that could be relationships that aren't worth the time and effort stuff.
And, you know, for a garden to grow, you got to pull the weeds. And, you know, it's okay to. To only have a handful of really deep, rich, meaningful relationships, but where we get into trouble is, is we've got as a society, a loneliness crisis going on, too. There's. I don't know the number, but I be confident in saying it's probably staggering, almost unbelievable, the number of people who don't even have five or six good relationships or any, you know, and this is, I think, why social influencers are getting popularity that they. They are because I'm able to. To go on YouTube and watch a Mr. Beast or whoever it might be, and.
And I can relate to that person. They become my friend. But it's not a real relationship. And so, you know, I think it's again, I don't know the answer. But. But somewhere along the line, this has to be part of the conversation with. With kids to let them know the importance of just genuine, real relationships.
I think I did a while ago. I don't do any of anymore, but I used to do it. It was on Facebook. It used to pop up and give you a list of whose birthday it is today or tomorrow or yesterday or something like that. And I'd be going down the list thinking, happy birthday or not. I was, in my head, I was going, why didn't. Why don't I want to wish you a happy birthday? Because I don't really know you. It doesn't seem appropriate.
You're just on my list because potentially you're a networking or someone who. Yeah, so I was almost like going down the list, evaluating, basically have that decision point, why don't I want to wish you happy birthday? And I think what that gave me the should we still be friends or shouldn't we? And then I also guess it's maturity. You go down that you see people's posts and think, I don't want to read this. I don't want to argue with you. I don't want to get into a conversation with you. I just don't want to read it. So do I unfollow you or do I remove you as a friend? And they're funny proposition thinking, well, I don't want to fall out with you. I don't want to not be a friend with you.
I just don't want to listen to you. So we'll unfollow you. I guess that's just maturity. And you don't need the BS in your life anymore. But you're making those decisions. And I think if younger people, everybody could get more used to that idea. You don't have to listen to everybody. Don't knock yourself away in an echo chamber.
You know, listen to what's going on, but also filter out what brings you joy.
Such a great take. And that's another thing I talk about a lot. I said if you. You might have a thousand friends on social media and 950 of them, if you ran into them at the store tonight, wouldn't even say hi to you. So are you really friends? You know, and, and you and I have had this right, where it's like we're connected on, on social and then we see each other in person. We don't even acknowledge each other's existence, like talking about a disconnect.
But the opposite happens as well, doesn't it. I don't know if you found this but you're so connected with people on social. When you do meet them in real life, you like know everything about each other. It's like, oh, why you been doing this? How's your mom? And you went on holiday last week. It's a fantastic.
For sure. I mean you know there's in my space, you know, I do a lot of training, coaching, consulting and Covid.
Right.
Changed everything. And so just how you and I are talking right now over the computer. I had four plus years with people getting deep with them, getting to know them, seeing them. Right. Albeit over the. And then it's almost surreal when you finally meet in person. You know, it's almost like. I don't know how to explain it but.
But yeah, we're like, we're. We're best friends. We've never met before. It's wild. But this is where world's going, I guess.
Yeah. And I do that now. I do a lot of events and speaking and turning up at places and you've done so much liaison over zoom or teams in advance and you actually get to the event the live and suddenly these people have got legs. You walk, you can stand up. It's like, it's incredible. Scott, this would be an absolutely fascinating conversation. We could talk, we could carry on talking for hours, I'm sure. How can people get a hold of you?
Yeah. So appreciate that and appreciate the space and the conversation. It's just my name is my website so it's scottgrates.com and that links to the books and TED talks and different ways to connect and engage with me. Yeah. Run a couple different podcasts. They're linked up on there as well and really just have become a champion hyper locally focused on my community again, narrowing the focus. I talk a lot about when you, you know, when you have diluted focus, you get diluted results and this is something that I was struggling with because I was trying to be all things, all people all the time. And.
And so now my focus is. Is really in about a 30 mile radius. There's enough people here and enough, you know, children here who, who I want to keep here and improve this place and, and you know, again, corny cliche but if we can leave it a little bit better than we found it and that's really what I'm on a mission to do is empower the next generation, educate them, help them be the best versions of themselves, whatever that looks like for them and just make the place that I've called home for almost 50 years. A little bit better when my work here is done.
On that note, thank you. Amazing.
Thank you, Joanne.
As we bring this conversation to a close, I want to express my deepest gratitude to you, our listener, for lending your ear and heart to the cause of inclusion. Today's discussion struck a chord. Consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of our ever growing community driving real change. Share this journey with friends, family and colleagues. Let's amplify the voices that matter. Got thoughts, stories or a vision to share? I'm all ears. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and let's make your voice heard. Until next time, this is Joanne Lockwood signing off with a promise to return with more enriching narratives that challenge, inspire and unite us all.
Here's to fostering a more inclusive world one episode at a time. Catch you on the next bite.
Also generated
More from this recording
Episode Category
Primary Category: Overcoming Adversity
Secondary Category: Emotional Intelligence
🔖 Titles
Building Success Through Relationships: From Textbook Learning to Real World Triumphs
Harnessing Relationship Marketing for Inclusive Growth and Student Empowerment
Navigating Change: Entrepreneurship, AI, and Personal Branding in a Connected World
The Power of Reciprocal Relationships in Business and Beyond
Developing Confidence, Resilience, and Empathy: Insights for the Next Generation
Transforming Networking: Authentic Branding and Trust in a Digital Age
Leveraging Community Ties for Sustainable Business Success
From Adversity to Achievement: Lessons in Resilience, Failure, and Growth
Breaking the Comparison Trap: Empowering Youth for Real World Success
Inclusive Futures: Trust, Risk, and Building Lasting Relationships in Modern Business
A Subtitle - A Single Sentence describing this episode
Scott Grates explores the vital role of authentic relationship marketing, the evolution of personal branding, and empowering the next generation with resilience and self-belief in an increasingly digital, fast-paced world.
Episode Tags
Relationship Marketing, Personal Branding, Critical Thinking, Empowering Youth, Entrepreneurial Mindset, Building Trust, Resilience Through Failure, Authentic Connections, Social Media Influence, Human Centred Leadership
Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway
In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood welcomes Scott Grates for an exploration of personal branding, authentic relationship building, and the journey from setbacks to success. The conversation takes listeners through the differences between traditional and digital relationship marketing, highlighting the enduring power of human connection amidst the rise of technological advances such as artificial intelligence. Joanne draws upon her own experiences in business and networking, while Scott explains the value of nurturing genuine, reciprocal relationships, focusing not just on transactional gains but on lasting impact within communities and organisations.
Scott is a visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author who specialises in harnessing relationship marketing to foster real-world success. Based in central New York, he brings a wealth of experience from founding and growing an insurance agency during challenging economic times. Scott’s passion for building authentic connections extends beyond business—he works extensively with students, educators, and local organisations to cultivate self-awareness and resilience. With his contrarian approach and servant heart, Scott encourages critical thinking and empowers both adults and young people to look beyond superficial achievement, nurturing the confidence needed to thrive in modern society.
Joanne and Scott analyse themes of trust, empathy, and personal brand, questioning whether digital tools can ever truly replace the warmth and understanding found in human relationships. They address the complexities of today’s multi-channel communication, such as the influence of social media, the value of emotional intelligence, and the challenges of building meaningful ties in an era of comparison and constant connectivity. The discussion also covers practical strategies for leveraging AI responsibly, balancing efficiency with authenticity, and how the best entrepreneurs often arise from adversity rather than academic success.
A key takeaway from this episode is the critical importance of purposeful, value-driven relationships—whether with colleagues, clients, or communities. Listeners will discover why embracing resilience, empathy, and the courage to fail is vital for both personal and professional growth. This episode encourages individuals to look past quick wins and cultivate real connections, inspiring anyone seeking to transform textbook knowledge into genuine triumph.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Inclusion Bites, hosted by Joanne Lockwood, explores inclusion and belonging through bold conversations, sharing transformative stories and inspiring action.
04:09 America's cities differ greatly in pace and mentality; the speaker prefers Florida's laid-back vibe in winter and New York's seasons in summer.
08:58 Build meaningful relationships, provide value selflessly, focus on personal brand, and nurture connections for long-term success in business.
10:13 Lacking funds, I'm a contrarian who seeks unique paths in competitive industries, values innovation, and prioritises building meaningful relationships with the right people.
14:08 Created my own business network based on support, collaboration, and a "go-giver" mentality, avoiding rigid rules and exclusivity; also embrace AI daily as a valuable tool.
19:11 Prioritising relationships in business is crucial, especially in emotional and human-focused areas like risk management, where personal support is irreplaceable even with advanced technology.
22:55 Success relies on who knows you, not just what or who you know; build a personal brand that reflects your values and story.
25:09 Social status matters less now; the internet gives everyone, especially youth, equal access to knowledge and opportunities to create and succeed.
28:07 Engage with thought leaders' posts to gain visibility, craft insightful comments, and ensure your title clearly conveys your value to attract followers.
33:04 A team effort book creation process is now streamlined using AI tools, replacing writers and editors with automated assistance.
36:24 Entrepreneur teaches critical thinking and self-awareness in classrooms, bridging passion for teaching and earning money.
38:07 Focus on becoming who you want to be, not just what you want to do, as unresolved childhood issues often affect adulthood.
40:29 Resilience comes with age, experience, and learning from mistakes, not fast-tracking.
46:23 Social media fosters unrealistic comparisons, fuelling imposter syndrome and harming children’s self-esteem.
48:23 A few white tech leaders influence global teen moods, sparking confidence and communication crises due to diminished interpersonal skills, which highlights the need for soft skill development and career support.
51:28 Entrepreneurs often share traits with athletes, like teamwork, resilience, and competitiveness. Encouraging group collaboration from a young age helps develop these skills beyond athletics and fosters meaningful relationships.
55:15 Reflecting on social media connections, deciding to stay friends or disconnect based on maturity and avoiding unnecessary interactions.
59:22 Joanne Lockwood encourages subscribing to Inclusion Bites, sharing its mission, and connecting via email to foster inclusion and inspire change.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 "Inclusion Bites: Sparking Change"
04:09 City Mindsets and Seasonal Escapes
08:58 Building Relationships for Business Growth
10:13 Contrarian Vision and Relationships
14:08 "Creating a Collaborative Business Network"
19:11 Human Connection in Business
22:55 "It's Who Knows You"
25:09 "Opportunities in the Digital Age"
28:07 "Leveraging Comments for Visibility"
33:04 "AI Replacing Creative Teams"
36:24 "Teaching Beyond the Textbook"
38:07 "Becoming Who You Want to Be"
40:29 Resilience Through Life's Lessons
46:23 The Comparison Trap and Social Media
48:23 "Tech, Teens, and Confidence Crisis"
51:28 Teamwork Builds Entrepreneurial Skills
55:15 Evaluating Friendships and Social Connections
59:22 "Inclusion Bites: Join Us"
Custom LinkedIn Post
🎙️ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗧𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝗧𝗿𝗶𝘂𝗺𝗽𝗵 🎙️
💡 Ever wondered why your golden eggs keep rolling away? Maybe it’s time to stop chasing and start nurturing the geese! In just 60 seconds, discover how relationships—not transactions—drive true success.
This week, I’m delighted to be joined by Scott Grates, visionary entrepreneur, bestselling author, and community champion. Scott is redefining business growth and student empowerment through the power of authentic relationships—and trust me, his approach is anything but textbook.
Together, we unpack:
🔑 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙂𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙚𝙣 𝙀𝙜𝙜 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩 – Why it pays to cultivate relationships, not just chase outcomes.
🔑 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝘽𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 – Who knows you matters more than who you know.
🔑 𝙀𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙣 𝘼𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 – Why people, not just machines, make us thrive.
Why Listen?
"Inclusion is about understanding, and this episode is packed with insights to help you create more #PositivePeopleExperiences."
About the Podcast
As the host of Inclusion Bites, I drop new episodes every week, inviting you to laugh, learn, and (gently) question your perspective on belonging and workplace culture. This audiogram is just a taste—prepare for the full feast!
What’s your take? 💭 How do you build meaningful connections in your world? Comment below 👇, or share your story about relationship-led success.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#PositivePeopleExperiences #SmileEngageEducate #InclusionBites #Podcasts #Shorts #RelationshipMarketing #PersonalBrand #EmpathyInBusiness #AIandHumanity #CareerSuccess
Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and spread the inclusion magic—tag someone who needs to hear this!
with SEE Change Happen and Scott Grates
TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary
Focus Keyword: Relationship Building
Video Title: Unlocking True Relationship Building – Positive People Experiences & Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags: relationship building, positive people experiences, culture change, inclusivity, empowerment, personal brand, business growth, resilience, teamwork, authenticity, empathy, trust, networking, community, life skills, inclusion, belonging, transformation, Gen Z, entrepreneurship, personal development, career advice, student success, vision, growth mindset
Killer Quote: "In this digitally dominated world, what was once old is new again. The power of eyeball to eyeball and really loving on people and caring about them – AI can't replace that." – Scott Grates
Hashtags: #RelationshipBuilding, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #CultureChange, #Inclusion, #Empowerment, #PersonalBrand, #BusinessGrowth, #Authenticity, #Networking, #Community, #Teamwork, #Empathy, #Resilience, #Inclusivity, #StudentSuccess, #Transformation, #Mindset, #Entrepreneurship, #CareerAdvice, #InclusionBitesPodcast
Description:
Dive into the heart of relationship building with me as I sit down with Scott Grates, visionary entrepreneur and best-selling author, in our latest episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast. We unravel the secrets behind fostering Positive People Experiences, highlighting how genuine connections fuel not only personal growth but real Culture Change in workplaces and communities. Scott shares his proven approach of nurturing relationships with authenticity and empathy—reminding us that in a fast-paced, AI-driven world, true belonging and human touch are irreplaceable. Whether you’re an HR professional, leader, student, or change maker craving a more inclusive environment, this episode is packed with insights that challenge, inspire, and equip you to be a catalyst for transformation. Listen now, join the movement, and be part of the real change in culture you want to see!
Outro:
Thank you, the listener, for tuning in to Inclusion Bites. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share the channel—your support drives real conversations and sparks change. For more inspiration and resources, visit the SEE Change Happen website: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
Listen to the full episode here: The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood
ℹ️ Introduction
On this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, titled "From Textbook to Triumph," Joanne Lockwood welcomes visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author Scott Grates for an expansive conversation on the true essence of success in an ever-evolving world. Together, they journey from the vibrant backdrop of upstate New York to the challenges of global financial crises and the rise of AI, unpacking the skills and relationships that empower individuals—especially young people—to thrive beyond conventional pathways.
Discover the power of relationship marketing, the realities of personal branding in the digital age, and why authentic human connections matter more than ever. With anecdotes drawn from business, education, and personal experience, Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates illuminate how adversity, resilience, and self-awareness catalyse growth—both professionally and personally. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, entrepreneur or change-seeker, this episode offers penetrating insights and practical wisdom for anyone committed to inclusion, belonging, and genuine, reciprocal success.
Prepare to be challenged, inspired, and equipped—this is not just another conversation, but a rallying call for nurturing futures, one relationship at a time.
💬 Keywords
relationship marketing, inclusion, personal brand, social media, AI tools, trust, empathy, failure, resilience, imposter syndrome, entrepreneurship, digital transformation, business networking, referrals, small business growth, teamwork, youth empowerment, critical thinking, self-awareness, peer review, personal development, networking strategies, competitive advantage, business pivot, servant leadership, community impact, adversity, authentic communication, intergenerational skills, social comparison
About this Episode
About The Episode:
In this episode, Scott Grates brings a fresh lens to the art of relationship marketing and personal growth, spotlighting how authentic connections and resilience transform both business and personal success. By sharing practical strategies drawn from years of entrepreneurial experience and working closely with students, Scott explores the intersection of digital advancement, human empathy, and the power of purposeful living. This conversation offers nuanced, actionable insight for anyone aspiring to nurture trust, boost their confidence, and make a positive impact in their community.
Today, we'll cover:
Practical frameworks for relationship marketing that prioritise genuine connection over transactional networking.
The concept of focusing on 'the geese, not just the golden eggs' to build long-term, reciprocal business success.
Navigating AI and digital tools as enablers of efficiency without losing sight of human empathy and authentic brand identity.
Strategies for building and maintaining a strong personal brand in a crowded, fast-paced digital environment.
The significance of failure, resilience, and critical thinking in developing confidence—especially for young people and future leaders.
Approaches to overcoming imposter syndrome and cultivating self-belief, regardless of career stage or life changes.
The importance of fostering real, symbiotic relationships rather than accumulating superficial or transactional connections.
💡 Speaker bios
Joanne Lockwood is a passionate advocate for inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation. As the host of Inclusion Bites, she invites listeners to engage in bold conversations that challenge the status quo and bring unseen stories to light. Joanne's journey is one of guiding others to explore what it truly means to create a world where everyone not only belongs, but thrives. Through thoughtful reflection and inspiring action, she connects with her audience, encouraging them to be part of the conversation and drive meaningful change. Whether you're tuning in to start your day or unwind in the evening, Joanne welcomes you to join her in building a more inclusive future for all.
💡 Speaker bios
Scott Grates has always felt most at home in the countryside, surrounded by mountains, pristine lakes, and the breathtaking tapestry of autumn foliage. He delights in the crisp, clean air and the tranquil pace of life away from the city's hustle and bustle. While Scott occasionally enjoys venturing into the city for a show, a ball game, or to savour its fantastic cuisine, he finds he increasingly values the peace and open spaces of rural life as the years go by.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Certainly! Here is a comprehensive sequence of topics covered in the provided transcript for the Inclusion Bites Podcast episode "From Textbook to Triumph," including key sub-topics under each primary theme:
1. Welcome and Introduction
Purpose of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
Emphasis on inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation
Call to listeners to engage and contribute
2. Guest Introduction: Scott Grates
Scott Grates’ background as a visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author
Scott’s superpower: transforming relationships into reciprocal success
Personal connection: Scott’s location in Central New York and its contrast with New York City
3. Discussion on the United States’ Geography and Lifestyle
Differences between New York City and upstate New York
Comparison of fast-paced city life vs. relaxed rural environments
Regional cultural distinctions: Northeast vs. Miami/West Coast
Concept of “snowbirding” (seasonal migration) and preferences for climate
4. Trends and Challenges in Modern Business
Scott’s business origins post-2008 financial meltdown
Losing his job at HSBC and transitioning to entrepreneurship out of necessity
Unable to rely on traditional (expensive) marketing methods
The relationship marketing model
Focusing on building authentic, value-driven relationships
The metaphor of “the goose and the golden egg”—nurturing the source of opportunity rather than the transaction
Long-term vs. transactional strategies in business growth
5. Principles and Ethics of Relationship Marketing
Paying it forward without expectation of direct return
Sincerity and authenticity as critical to trust
Personal branding and being known for values beyond one’s profession
Leveraging small, connected communities for support and growth
Contrast with structured networking models like BNI (Business Networking International)
6. Impact of Technology and Artificial Intelligence
Evolution of business and communication: From print and letters to digital marketing and AI
Opportunities and threats presented by AI tools
Accelerating productivity and efficiency
Necessity of adaptability to avoid obsolescence
Enduring importance of human connection in a digital world
Example: The enduring appeal of human service over automation
7. Building Trust and Empathy in Client Relationships
The critical role of trust in risk-sensitive fields (e.g., insurance, financial advice)
Empathy as a differentiator that technology cannot replicate
The importance of truly hearing, understanding, and supporting clients
8. The Power of Personal Branding
Evolving from “what you know” and “who you know” to “who knows you”
The 21st century importance of visibility and reputation over traditional networking
Challenges and responsibilities of managing an enduring public profile
9. Social Media Engagement and Content Strategy
Gradual progression from passive observer to content originator
The role of LinkedIn and leveraging prominent voices/audiences
Tactics for adding value: thoughtful commentary, opinion pieces, and referencing others’ work
Ethical use of AI for content development—contextualising AI as a tool, not a replacement for thought leadership
10. Peer Review and Constructive Critique
Using AI for robust idea validation and refining arguments
Embracing critique, integrating feedback, and learning from peer review methodologies
11. Youth Empowerment and Educational Gaps
Scott Grates’s commitment to working with students outside traditional curriculums
Focus on critical thinking, self-awareness, and resilience
Supporting youth in recognising and overcoming imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the comparison trap
The value of learning to fail and building confidence through adversity
Challenge of developing “soft skills” in an era marked by digital and asynchronous communication
12. The Confidence Crisis and Impact of Social Media on Youth
The dangers of comparison culture and curated realities
The rise in mental health challenges linked to digital habits
The social and psychological consequences of reduced face-to-face interaction
13. Developing Interpersonal Relationships in a Digital Age
The necessity of fostering real-world connections despite digital convenience
Mechanisms for pushing young people out of their comfort zones (e.g., group work, athletics)
Recognising the value of a small number of deep, meaningful relationships over quantity
14. Navigating Social Media: Curation and Boundaries
Practical guidance on managing online connections and filtering out negativity
The distinction between digital acquaintances and true friends
Strategies for maintaining digital wellness and prioritising joy and personal growth
15. Conclusion and Call to Action
Reflections on focussing impact locally versus trying to be everywhere at once
Encouragement for listeners to connect, share, and participate in building more inclusive communities
This sequence follows the natural flow of discussion, illustrating how the episode moves from personal introductions through nuanced exploration of relationship-building in the modern, digital, and inclusive workplace and society.
The Hook
Ever wondered why some people attract golden opportunities… while others just chase them? Stop grinding for eggs and start connecting with the geese that lay them. Ready to see relationships (and success) through a whole new lens? The secret is NOT what you think…
Tired of transactional noise and digital overwhelm? What if the real competitive edge—yes, even in an AI-driven world—was forming unbreakable, authentic relationships? There’s a quiet power in just being SEEN. Let’s talk about what nobody’s teaching…
“Confidence is earned, not learned”—ring any bells? If you’re playing to win, but the only scorecard is resilience and personal brand… how would you fare? Here’s why failing (yes, failing!) could be your superpower.
Feeling stuck in the ‘hustle harder’ loop, secretly craving true connections and meaningful change? What if the path from uncertainty to triumph is less about WHAT you do… and entirely about WHO knows you? This changes everything…
Fast-forward success? Not so fast. Why embracing failure, nurturing empathy, and challenging the ‘always-on’ digital culture might be the missing fuel for your growth. Want to futureproof your impact? It all starts with your next conversation.
🎬 Reel script
In this episode of Inclusion Bites, I sat down with visionary entrepreneur Scott Grates to explore the power of relationship marketing in business and beyond. We uncovered how genuine connections, built on empathy and trust, drive real-world success—whether you’re growing a company or fostering belonging in your community. From navigating the digital age with AI, to empowering the next generation to think beyond the textbook, it’s all about transforming relationships into reciprocal triumphs. Want practical, people-centred inspiration? This conversation delivers.
🗞️ Newsletter
Subject: From Textbook to Triumph: Building Real Relationships in a Digital Age
Hello Inclusion Bites family,
We're back with another thought-provoking episode, and this week’s conversation is one you won’t want to miss. In Episode 186: From Textbook to Triumph, Joanne Lockwood is joined by visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author Scott Grates, who shares his journey from humble beginnings to transformative community leadership.
Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:
1. The Power of Relationship Marketing
Scott Grates reveals how necessity drove him to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships at the heart of his success. Discover why focusing on ‘the geese, not the golden eggs’ leads to long-term, reciprocal success—an antidote to the transactional, “quick win” mindset so common in today’s world.
2. Navigating Change With Authenticity
From the 2008 financial crisis to the rise of AI, both Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates discuss how adaptability and honest self-assessment create resilience. They unpack the importance of staying in your own lane but embracing lifelong learning—and why, despite AI advances, the human touch remains at a premium.
3. Building a Personal Brand That Resonates
How do you move from “who you know” to “who knows you”? Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates break down the essentials of personal branding in a hyper-connected era, including actionable tactics for making an impact on platforms like LinkedIn—without losing your authenticity.
4. Supporting the Next Generation
This episode dives deep into the importance of preparing young people for the reality of self-doubt, comparison, and imposter syndrome. Scott Grates brings insights from his work with students, encouraging us to let failure be a teacher, not a setback, and to empower others through compassion and critical thinking.
5. AI as Ally, Not Replacement
You’ll hear a fresh take on using AI for efficiency in a way that supports, rather than supplants, human ingenuity and relationships. The debate isn’t about “man vs. machine”—it’s about using new tools to amplify positive, impactful work.
Why listen?
If you’re striving to build genuine connections—whether in business, your community, or your personal life—this episode is packed with lessons (and some brilliant metaphors) to carry with you. Whether you’re a student, parent, leader, or lifelong learner, there’s inspiration here for everyone.
Ready to dig in? Listen now on Inclusion Bites or wherever you get your podcasts.
If this episode resonated with you, we’d love to hear your thoughts! Reply directly to this email or reach out at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. Do you have an experience or story on inclusion and belonging to share? Get in touch to join us on a future episode.
Let’s keep the conversation going—one bold bite at a time.
Warm wishes,
Joanne Lockwood
Host, Inclusion Bites Podcast
Disrupting norms. Igniting inclusion. Together.
#InclusionBites #RealTalks #RelationshipMarketing #PersonalBranding
🧵 Tweet thread
🚀 THREAD: From Textbook to Triumph – The Power of Relationships in a Disrupted World 🧵
1/ Bold conversations spark change. On #InclusionBites, host Joanne Lockwood goes beyond the usual diversity chat, diving deep into how genuine human connection fuels success.
2/ This week’s guest, Scott Grates, is no ordinary entrepreneur—he’s a champion of relationship marketing. Forget transactional networking: his advice is to nurture connections with “the geese, not the eggs”. 🥚🦢 #GoldenGooseWisdom
3/ Why does it matter? Scott Grates argues our digital age is making BS detectors sharper than ever. Authenticity wins. If you’re just pretending, your network will smell it out.
4/ Both Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates know – if you give sincerely, expecting nothing in return, the law of reciprocation kicks in. People trust you, and doors open in ways ads and automation simply can’t replicate.
5/ But are we losing that knack in the era of chatbots and AI? Joanne Lockwood wonders if digital tools help or hinder relationships—are we more transactional, or is there an opportunity for deeper connection if tech is used wisely? 🤔
6/ Scott Grates says adaptation is key: “It’s a tool… the people who refuse to adapt will be replaced.” But there’s still no substitute for empathy, trust, and the very human need to feel seen. #HumanFirst
7/ Personal branding now = “Who knows you?” Not just who you know! Authenticity, consistency, and values matter more than ever when building your reputation—especially for young people and career changers. #BrandYou
8/ On confidence: Both agree resilience comes from failure. You earn your scars. Let kids—and yourself—learn, fall, and bounce back. The world needs less perfection, more grit.
9/ Social media? “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Scott Grates warns about the confidence crisis in kids: too many filtered highlight reels, not enough eye-to-eye conversations.
10/ The solution: Build meaningful relationships. Fewer, deeper connections trump thousands of shallow ones. Invest in people, prune the weeds, make space for genuine friendships. #Essentialism
11/ Bottom line: In a world obsessed with speed and tech, don’t overlook the magic of powerful human relationships, authenticity, and resilience. That’s how textbook struggles become real triumphs.
12/ Want more bold conversations? Subscribe to the Inclusion Bites podcast here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Share your thoughts! #InclusionIgnited #PositivePeopleExperiences
👇 What’s the best advice you’ve heard about building real relationships in a digital world? Drop your tips below! 👇
Guest's content for their marketing
From Textbook to Triumph: My Journey on the Inclusion Bites Podcast
Appearing as a guest on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, hosted by the insightful Joanne Lockwood, was a truly transformative experience—one that allowed me to share both my entrepreneurial philosophy and my passion for empowering the next generation. The episode, aptly entitled “From Textbook to Triumph”, provided the perfect platform to explore the nuances of relationship building, personal branding, and resilience in our rapidly evolving world.
Championing Reciprocity and Authenticity
During my conversation with Joanne Lockwood, we delved into the origins of my commitment to relationship marketing—a strategy born not out of theoretical ideals but necessity. When I first founded my agency in the wake of the 2008 financial meltdown, traditional marketing routes were financially out of reach. Instead, I discovered the power of authentic connection, focusing not on short-term transactions but on cultivating mutually beneficial relationships. As I described on the podcast, I liken this approach to the classic fable of the goose and the golden egg: rather than chasing after prospects, I poured value into those “geese”—the community and business leaders who held trusted relationships with my ideal clients.
Adaptability in a Digital Era
Our discussion took a thoughtful turn toward digital transformation, particularly the rise of AI. While I am an advocate of harnessing technology for efficiency and creativity, I remain convinced that the essence of business success still hinges on genuine human relationships. The podcast illuminated how embracing change—rather than resisting it—is crucial. As I shared, the winners of tomorrow are those who learn to adapt, employing digital tools whilst maintaining a focus on empathy, trust, and connection.
Empowering the Next Generation
My commitment extends beyond commerce: I am passionate about equipping students with real-world skills that textbooks rarely provide. On Inclusion Bites, I shared my experiences mentoring young people—helping them develop critical thinking, resilience, and self-awareness to overcome challenges such as self-doubt or imposter syndrome. Our education system often teaches “what to think” rather than “how to think”; my mission is to instil the latter, ensuring young people are prepared not just academically, but emotionally and socially, for life’s challenges.
Insights into Personal Branding
A key insight from my appearance was the evolving nature of personal brand. As Joanne Lockwood and I discussed, success today is not just about “who you know”, but “who knows you”. Building trust and a positive reputation—both online and offline—has become paramount.
Why This Matters
Appearing on Inclusion Bites allowed me to reflect on the pivotal role of inclusion, belonging, and mutual success: whether building a sustainable business, empowering students to step confidently into their futures, or leveraging digital tools without sacrificing human connection. The episode, and my conversation with Joanne Lockwood, reinforced my core message—real change happens when we choose to serve, collaborate, and commit to continuous growth, even in the face of adversity.
If you would like to listen to the full conversation, visit Inclusion Bites Podcast. For enquiries, collaborations, or to engage further, I invite you to connect via my website scottgrates.com.
Together, let’s move from textbook theory to real-world triumph—one relationship at a time.
Pain Points and Challenges
Certainly! The “From Textbook to Triumph” episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, hosted by Joanne Lockwood and featuring Scott Grates, surfaces a rich array of pain points and challenges—many of which are highly relevant to those championing inclusive cultures and positive people experiences. Here’s a focused breakdown of the key challenges discussed, alongside content specifically targeted to address them.
1. The Death of Genuine Relationships in a Digitally Dominated Era
Pain Point:
Both Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates describe the growing disconnect in relationships, exacerbated by digital interaction and tools like AI. In today’s world, transactional exchanges often replace human connection, and authentic, reciprocal relationships are diminishing.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Champion Eyeball-to-Eyeball Engagement: Encourage face-to-face interactions wherever possible, particularly within teams and communities. Authentic engagement enables empathy and trust—attributes AI cannot replicate.
Leverage Technology as a Support, Not a Substitute: Use AI and social media as tools to facilitate connections, not replace them. Explore hybrid approaches where digital efficiency supports but does not supplant human touchpoints.
Build Community Networks: Develop micro-BNI-style groups with an emphasis on “go-giver” mentalities—prioritising supportive relationships over transactional gains.
2. Trust, Empathy, and the Challenge of Building Meaningful Connections
Pain Point:
Trust is described as hard-fought and easily lost. The competitive “grab the card, chase the contact” networking pattern is revealed as superficial and largely ineffective. The younger generation, steeped in digital worlds, faces a crisis in empathy and soft interpersonal skills.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Establish Relationship-Focused Onboarding: For both young professionals and seasoned employees, prioritise soft skills training—active listening, empathy exercises, and storytelling sessions that help build trust within teams.
Mentoring Across Generations: Pair digitally native employees with those who possess stronger interpersonal skills for reverse mentoring—sharing both tech skills and lived experience in building connections.
Trust-Building Rituals: Implement regular “trust circles” or feedback sessions, creating psychologically safe spaces for sharing and vulnerability.
3. The Rise of Comparison Culture and Imposter Syndrome
Pain Point:
Social media-driven comparison has led to a confidence crisis, particularly for younger people. According to Scott Grates, children and teens are constantly exposed to unrealisable standards, resulting in imposter syndrome, anxiety, and diminished self-worth.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Curate Social Media Literacy Workshops: Deliver workshops addressing the reality behind digital facades, teaching discernment and healthy digital boundaries.
Normalise Failure in the Culture: Share stories and facilitate discussions around setbacks, building resilience and reframing ‘failure’ as learning.
Promote Self-Awareness and Reflection: Embed structured self-awareness curriculum modules, journaling prompts, and mindfulness practices—helping individuals navigate negative self-talk and comparison traps.
4. Accelerating Change: Technology Disruption and the Pressure to Keep Up
Pain Point:
The pace of technological advancement and AI integration is overwhelming. Many fear obsolescence unless they constantly adapt, with older ways of working quickly rendered obsolete.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Change Management Training: Regular sessions on agility, embracing change, and maintaining relevance—tailored for all levels in the organisation.
Lifelong Learning Culture: Encourage continuous upskilling, provide resources for digital competency, and celebrate adaptation as a marker of success.
Human-Centric Technology Strategies: Assess business and school processes to ensure that while technology boosts efficiency, human-centricity is preserved (e.g., balancing automation with customer interaction).
5. Crisis of Loneliness and Shallow Networks
Pain Point:
A societal loneliness crisis persists despite increased online connectivity. Many lack true, reciprocal relationships—leading to isolation, diminished wellbeing, and potential declines in inclusion.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Facilitate Small Group Interactions: Launch activities that foster genuine connection—dialogue circles, peer support groups, and team retreats.
Cultivate Essentialist Relationships: Influence people to focus on quality over quantity, pruning unhealthy connections to make space for deeper ones.
Integrate Belonging Initiatives: Embed ‘belonging checks’ in organisational surveys and culture reviews, ensuring people can identify “their five or six” meaningful connections.
6. Fast-Tracking Youth—Pressure and Lack of Resilience
Pain Point:
The modern “microwave society” pushes young people to fast-track success, bypassing formative experiences of failure and resilience-building.
Solution-Oriented Content:
Resilience-Building Programmes: Offer experiential learning—simulations, entrepreneurial projects, and reflection spaces where safe failure is possible.
Celebrate Progress, Not Just Outcomes: Shift recognition frameworks to acknowledge effort, persistence, and personal growth.
Supportive Parenting and Leadership Modules: Guide parents and leaders to allow space for challenge, setback, and learning.
Bringing It Together
Inclusion, as iterated throughout this conversation, thrives on deep relationships, trust, empathy, resilience, and a robust response to the pressure and change endemic to contemporary life. Organisations, schools, and communities must move away from surface-level tickboxes and instead invest in connection, authentic engagement, and psychological safety. In doing so, the pain points highlighted in this podcast become catalysts for purposeful action—transforming textbook discomfort into real-world triumph.
For further dialogue or to share your own challenge, the Inclusion Bites Podcast invites you to reach out directly to Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk, or listen in at Inclusion Bites.
#InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences
Questions Asked that were insightful
Certainly! The conversation between Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates was both deep and engaging, yielding several thoughtful questions and responses that would resonate well in an FAQ format for the Inclusion Bites audience. Here are some key questions that prompted particularly insightful or interesting answers, suitable for inclusion in a future FAQ series:
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How did you develop your approach to relationship marketing?
Joanne Lockwood asked Scott Grates how he got into relationship marketing and what it means to him. Scott Grates gave an in-depth response about necessity-driven innovation, emphasising valuing genuine, long-term relationships over purely transactional ones.
2. Is traditional networking still effective in today’s digital world?
The discussion around the effectiveness of models like BNI (Business Networking International) versus more organic, altruistic relationship-building offered fresh perspectives. Scott Grates explained the difference between transactional "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" networking and truly supporting like-minded, values-driven people.
3. How does AI impact relationship building and personal branding?
There was a nuanced dialogue regarding whether tools like AI help or hinder genuine relationships. Both speakers explored AI’s role as an efficiency booster but agreed that authentic, empathetic human contact remains irreplaceable.
4. What advice do you give young people about building resilience and confidence?
When Joanne Lockwood asked about working with students, Scott Grates offered thoughtful insights into teaching critical thinking, self-awareness, and the importance of failure as feedback rather than defeat.
5. Why is personal branding so important, especially for students?
The discussion explored the evolution of personal brand, with both Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates reflecting on the topic. They highlighted that in the modern age, it’s "who knows you" that often matters most, rather than simply "who you know".
6. How can younger generations break out of digital-only communication to build stronger face-to-face relationships?
Joanne Lockwood queried how students can be encouraged to develop interpersonal skills outside digital environments. Scott Grates suggested that sometimes it’s necessary to purposefully push young people out of their comfort zones and into group activities, not just for communication but for deeper teamwork and empathy.
7. What is the role of failure in personal and professional growth?
A rich part of the conversation centred on reframing failure as a stepping stone to success. Scott Grates shared that confidence is "earned, not learned," and emphasised that setbacks provide crucial lessons for future achievements.
8. How should you manage and curate your personal and professional relationships, both online and offline?
The speakers discussed the process of evaluating which relationships to nurture, how to deal with ‘toxic’ connections, and the importance of not overwhelming oneself with meaningless contacts. Less, as they agreed, is often more when it comes to deep, authentic relationships.
These questions, rooted in the transcript, could be developed with succinct, practical answers derived directly from the episode’s discussion to foster ongoing community learning and engagement.
Blog article based on the episode
From Textbook to Triumph: Transforming Relationships into Reciprocal Success
What would it take for you to become unforgettable in a world fixated on algorithms, automation, and instant gratification? In an era where artificial intelligence can draft your emails, design your website, and even suggest what you should say next, you might ask: is genuine human connection still a superpower? The latest episode of Inclusion Bites, “From Textbook to Triumph,” with visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author Scott Grates, might just convince you it remains the most potent force in both our professional and personal lives.
The Modern Dilemma: Transactional Relationships in a Digital World
Society is experiencing a paradox. We have never been more connected, nor more isolated. As Scott Grates and host Joanne Lockwood so intuitively discuss, modern tools—from AI to social media—have certainly made life efficient, yet simultaneously threaten to erode the foundation of business (and life itself): meaningful, empathetic relationships.
Scott Grates describes the all-too-common problem, recalling his own leap into entrepreneurship after the 2008 financial meltdown: “I couldn't advertise and market in traditional ways. Which are very expensive. I found a niche in relationship building, relationship marketing, really getting grassroots.” In a commoditised, competitive sector like insurance, the temptation towards quick wins—chasing 'golden eggs'—is immense. But Scott recognised the magic lay not in transactions, but in nurturing the 'geese'—the people and networks that consistently lay those golden eggs.
That’s the conundrum: How do we nurture relationships that matter in a landscape dominated by automation and algorithmic convenience?
The Cost of Forgotten Human Touch
It’s easy to fall into the trap of embracing digital convenience at the expense of true connection. Social feeds promote highlight reels, comparison becomes an everyday affliction, and the true art of listening—of “loving on people,” as Scott Grates puts it—gets lost amid the noise.
AI will certainly “replace certain things, it will replace certain people… But here’s what I believe: I’m not scared it’ll replace me, as long as I know how to utilise that tool to do what I need to do,” Scott Grates points out. The technology, then, is not the enemy. Complacency, transactional thinking, and lack of empathy are.
From Transactional to Transformational: Actionable Steps
If you’re seeking to future-proof your career, network, or business, it’s time to refocus on the power of relationships. Here’s how you can bring that textbook theory into real-world triumph, inspired by the wisdom of Scott Grates.
1. Value the 'Geese', Not Just the Golden Eggs
Don’t focus solely on prospects—identify and nurture the connectors, the trusted voices in your community, those who are connected to the people you want to meet. As Scott Grates advises, “pour value into them without asking for anything in return.” When the time comes, those relationships will serve you in ways that advertising never could.
2. Prioritise Authenticity Over Algorithms
“People’s BS meters are higher than ever,” Scott Grates warns. Authenticity isn’t just a buzzword; it’s your competitive edge. When engaging online or in-person, make sure your intention is to help, not to harvest. Give because it’s right, not because you expect a return.
3. Embrace Technology as a Tool, Not a Substitute
AI and digital tools can multiply your efficiency, but they should amplify—not replace—your humanity. Use them to streamline processes, but keep the final step personal. “Ultimately, we need each other,” affirms Scott Grates. Human empathy cannot be outsourced.
4. Build Your Personal Brand—Be Known for Who You Are
“It’s no longer what you know or who you know, it’s about who knows you,” Joanne Lockwood reflects. Take time to articulate what you stand for. Whether it’s your LinkedIn headline or daily interactions, consistency of message and values builds lasting reputation.
5. Invest in Fewer, Deeper Relationships
Less is more. True success lies not in amassing thousands of shallow connections, but in cultivating a handful of meaningful ones. “You only need a couple hundred really strong relationships with the right people,” Scott Grates notes. Protect your focus—diluted attention yields diluted results.
6. Encourage Resilience and Embrace Failure as Feedback
The episode explores the link between relationship-building and personal growth. Both Scott Grates and Joanne Lockwood stress the necessity of failure—and the ability to bounce back—as the true path to confidence. “Confidence is earned, not learned,” Scott Grates shares. In your work and mentorship, create space for trial, error, and growth.
7. Guide the Next Generation Beyond the Textbook
Scott Grates speaks passionately about supporting students beyond academic content: “Schools are good at teaching kids what to think, but… we need to know how to think.” He encourages mentoring young people in critical thinking, resilience, and interpersonal skills—the real currencies of future triumph.
Imagine a World Where Everyone Belongs—And Thrives
Inclusion isn’t just about inviting more people into the room. It’s about building environments where everyone feels seen, heard, trusted, and empowered. The challenge now is as much human as it is technological: How do we ignite inclusion in a world filled with noise and novelty?
The answer, echoed throughout this episode, lies in a renewed commitment to relationships—not for their transactional value, but for their transformative power. As Joanne Lockwood concludes, “Trust is hard fought but lost in an instant… You talk about relationship building and trust is the key.”
Your Turn: Inspiring Triumph in Your Own Sphere
Are you ready to step up from the textbook theory of inclusion, leadership, or business growth and actually embed it into your daily interactions? Will you be remembered for what you achieved or how you made others feel along the way?
Begin by reaching out to one person today—without any agenda—and asking how you can support them. Reflect on your own digital presence: Does it reflect your true values? Then, consider how you can encourage resilience, empathy, and connection in the communities that matter to you most.
If you’re seeking more inspiration, listen to the Inclusion Bites episode “From Textbook to Triumph” with Scott Grates and host Joanne Lockwood. Let their stories and practical wisdom fuel your own journey “from textbook to triumph”—not just for yourself, but for everyone you encounter.
Follow the podcast at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen or start the conversation directly by emailing Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Inclusion: One authentic relationship at a time. The triumph can be yours—if only you choose to connect.
The standout line from this episode
The standout line from this episode is:
"It's no longer what you know or who you know. It's all about who knows you."
This encapsulates the evolving landscape of relationship building, personal branding, and genuine connection at the heart of the conversation between Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates.
❓ Questions
Certainly! Here are 10 thought-provoking discussion questions inspired by this episode of Inclusion Bites, "From Textbook to Triumph":
How does Scott Grates' philosophy of relationship marketing challenge conventional approaches to business growth and networking in today's digital world?
In what ways does focusing on the "geese" rather than the "golden eggs" transform how professionals nurture their networks and foster reciprocal success?
Given the rapid advancement of AI and digital tools, what do you think are the irreplaceable aspects of human connection and empathy in professional relationships, as described by Scott Grates and Joanne Lockwood?
How can organisations and educators better equip young people for real-world success beyond the confines of traditional curricula, as discussed by Scott Grates?
Do you agree with Joanne Lockwood that personal brand now hinges on "who knows you" rather than "who you know"? How has this shift impacted your own networking or career progression?
To what extent is social media responsible for growing imposter syndrome and confidence crises among younger generations, and what strategies could help mitigate these risks?
Is failure truly just feedback, as Scott Grates claims? Share examples where overcoming adversity or making mistakes has contributed to your personal resilience.
What practical steps can teachers and parents take to encourage critical thinking, self-awareness, and healthy relationship-building among students?
The episode briefly explores the microwave society’s desire for instant results. How has this mentality influenced career expectations or approaches to personal development in your experience?
With reference to digital and face-to-face communications, do you believe it is possible to build deep, meaningful relationships in a predominantly virtual environment?
Feel free to use these questions to spark further dialogue, self-reflection, or group discussion after listening to the episode!
FAQs from the Episode
Inclusion Bites Podcast: Episode 186 "From Textbook to Triumph" — FAQ
1. What is the central theme of this episode?
This episode explores the journey from traditional approaches to learning and business towards authentic, real-life success through relationships, resilience, and personal brand development. Scott Grates shares insights on relationship marketing, critical thinking, and empowering young people and professionals to triumph beyond textbook definitions of success.
2. Who is the guest and what is his expertise?
Scott Grates is a visionary entrepreneur and best-selling author specialising in relationship marketing for business growth and student empowerment. His superpower, as described on the show, is transforming relationships into reciprocal success. He brings real-world experience in business, communication, and personal development.
3. What is 'relationship marketing' and why is it important?
Relationship marketing, as discussed by Scott Grates, focuses on building genuine, trusting relationships with individuals and communities—rather than traditional, transactional marketing tactics. The premise is that investing in quality relationships creates ongoing value, trust, and mutual referrals, which are more sustainable and impactful, particularly in today's digitally dominated landscape.
4. How does relationship marketing differ from traditional networking organisations like BNI?
Whilst organisations like BNI operate on structured referral systems and reciprocal expectations, Scott Grates advocates for an organic, more altruistic approach—finding like-minded individuals with a ‘go-giver’ mindset, nurturing authentic connections without rigid rules or expectations, and adding value without immediate reward. It's about long-term community building, not just short-term sales.
5. How is AI influencing business and relationship-building today?
The episode acknowledges AI's growing efficiency and role in content creation, data analysis, and process automation. Both Scott Grates and Joanne Lockwood utilise AI to craft communications, personal branding, and even adapt training materials swiftly. However, the consensus is clear: whilst AI is a powerful tool, "eyeball to eyeball" human interaction, empathy, and trust cannot be replaced.
6. What is the 'goose and golden egg' metaphor mentioned by Scott Grates?
This metaphor illustrates his philosophy: instead of expending energy chasing after every possible customer (the golden eggs), invest in nurturing relationships with those who can repeatedly provide referrals or connections (the geese). It’s about valuing the source—which, in business, is people and partnerships—over isolated transactions.
7. Why are soft skills and empathy critical in modern professional life?
Empathy, resilience, and soft skills—such as communication, teamwork, and adaptability—are emphasised as foundational traits for success. The episode highlights how AI and digital tools cannot replicate human empathy or nuanced problem-solving, which are integral for building trust and leading effective teams.
8. How does the episode address challenges facing today's youth and the next generation?
Scott Grates discusses his work with students, aiming to go beyond what is taught in textbooks. He focuses on cultivating self-awareness, critical thinking, handling failure, building confidence, and teaching students how to think—not just what to think. The ambition is to empower the next generation to be resilient, adaptable, and true to themselves.
9. What role does personal brand play in building professional relationships?
Personal branding is portrayed as the cornerstone of modern networking: “It’s not what you know or who you know, it’s who knows you.” Authenticity, consistency, and visibility help establish trust, attract meaningful connections, and open doors for both business and personal growth.
10. How do social media and digital platforms impact relationships and mental health?
The episode considers both the benefits and drawbacks of social media, including the pitfalls of comparison, the rise of cyberbullying, and the 'loneliness crisis'. The advice offered is to be discerning about digital connections, curate one's network for genuine engagement, and foster offline relationships to maintain wellbeing and groundedness.
11. Where can listeners connect with Scott Grates or find more resources?
Scott Grates can be reached via his website, scottgrates.com, which features his books, TED talks, podcasts, and information about his work with students and businesses. For more on the podcast or to contribute to future episodes, listeners can contact Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or visit Inclusion Bites Podcast.
12. What’s the actionable takeaway for professionals, educators, and parents?
Foster authentic relationships, embrace empathy and resilience, encourage critical thinking and personal growth—both online and in reality. Whether you’re developing a business or guiding the next generation, prioritise meaningful connections over mere numbers; be proactive in learning and adapting as technology evolves; and nurture a community where everyone feels seen, valued, and empowered to thrive.
For further enquiries or to share your own story, reach out and join the conversation with the Inclusion Bites community.
Tell me more about the guest and their views
The guest in this episode, Scott Grates, is introduced as a visionary entrepreneur and best-selling author, with a distinct focus on relationship marketing that drives both business growth and real-world empowerment—particularly for students. Central to his ethos is the idea of transforming relationships into reciprocal success, a philosophy rooted not just in commerce but in genuine human connection and service.
Drawing from his own experience of launching an insurance agency during the 2008 financial crisis, Scott Grates explains how necessity led him to develop a relationship-driven approach. Lacking resources for traditional, expensive advertising, he cultivated deep ties within his local community, prioritising authentic connections over quick wins or surface-level networking. He likens this strategy to nurturing the “geese” rather than chasing the “golden eggs”—focusing on those who can refer business in a mutually beneficial way, rather than endlessly pursuing immediate transactions.
A notable theme throughout the conversation is his contrarian streak: he’s sceptical of following the crowd (“If everyone is doing X, I want to see what’s happening over at Y!”), which he feels helps him distinguish his personal brand in a crowded marketplace. This is not just business practice, but a worldview: in a digital age saturated with impersonal interactions, he advocates for the enduring value of genuine, empathic relationships—what he calls “eyeball to eyeball” connection. He contends that, no matter how advanced AI and digital tools become, the human desire to “be seen, heard, and loved” will remain irreplaceable.
Scott Grates openly embraces technological advancement, including AI, as a tool to augment productivity and reach. He cautions, however, that ultimate success hinges on adaptability: those who refuse change risk obsolescence, while those who harness new tools thoughtfully can thrive. He views AI and digital innovations as enhancing efficiency, but emphasises the irreplaceable role of empathy and trust—particularly in his domain of risk management, where emotional insight is critical.
When discussing personal branding and social media, Scott Grates asserts that reputation is increasingly shaped by community sentiment—“You aren’t who you think you are; you are who your Google reviews say you are.” He urges individuals, and especially students, to cultivate their brands with intentionality and caution, highlighting both the unprecedented access to information and the enduring potential for careless online choices to haunt one's future.
Interestingly, Scott Grates dedicates significant energy to empowering the next generation, working directly with students to build skills that “aren’t in the textbook”—critical thinking, discernment, resilience, and the ability to deal with adversity. Partnering theory with practical guidance, he reminds listeners that genuine confidence is “earned, not learned”: it emerges from repeated challenges and failures, not from easy victories. He laments the “microwave society’s” hunger for instant success, encouraging young people to embrace the slower, more authentic process of growth.
Underlying all his perspectives is a belief in the irreplaceable importance of real, deep relationships—less is more, in his view. He acknowledges the epidemic of loneliness and the superficiality of many digital connections, and argues that a handful of meaningful, reciprocal connections outweighs hundreds of transactional ones.
To sum up, Scott Grates is a proponent of relationship-driven entrepreneurship, a champion for authentic human connection in an automated world, and an advocate for empowering young people to face life’s challenges with resilience and purpose. His views are both pragmatic and philosophical, rooted in personal experience and a desire to leave his community—and its next generation—better equipped for the future.
Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode
Certainly! Drawing upon the rich insights and practical reflections shared in the “From Textbook to Triumph” episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, here are several robust training and workshop ideas:
1. Building Relationship Capital in a Digital Age
Objective: Equip participants with practical strategies for developing authentic, reciprocal professional relationships amidst the rise of digital communication and AI.
Key Topics: Relationship marketing, personal branding, leveraging digital networks, empathy in business.
Activities: Networking simulations; mapping existing ‘geese’ (referral partners); role-playing digital vs. in-person interactions.
2. Cultivating Resilience and Navigating Imposter Syndrome
Objective: Help individuals recognise, confront, and overcome imposter syndrome—especially in new or changing career paths.
Key Topics: The neuroscience of confidence; self-awareness; failure as feedback.
Activities: Story-sharing circles; the “Acknowledge, Prove, Silence” (APS) model for tackling negative narratives; micro-coaching sessions.
3. Digital Tools: Friend or Foe? Harnessing AI and Tech to Enhance, Not Replace, Human Connections
Objective: Demystify the uses of AI and digital tools while reinforcing the irreplaceable value of the human touch in professional and personal success.
Key Topics: Ethical tech adoption; AI as a tool for efficiency, not identity; balancing automation with empathy.
Activities: AI tool demonstrations; discussions/debates on the future of relationship-based work; scenario planning.
4. Personal Branding and Thought Leadership for the 21st Century
Objective: Empower attendees to intentionally shape their digital and professional footprint, focusing on “who knows you” rather than merely “who you know.”
Key Topics: Storytelling, social media strategy, reframing reputation management.
Activities: LinkedIn profile clinics; “Who Knows Me?” network mapping; crafting and sharing personal narratives.
5. Empowering the Next Generation: Life Skills Beyond the Textbook
Objective: Support teachers, mentors, and parents in developing young people’s critical thinking, resilience, and real-world readiness.
Key Topics: Critical thinking, self-efficacy, managing transitions and failure, soft skills.
Activities: Parent/teacher workshops; student peer-learning activities; self-reflection worksheets on “Who do I want to be?”
6. Managing Social Comparison and Building Psychological Safety in a ‘Microwave Society’
Objective: Address the mental health implications of constant digital comparison and help participants build their own toolkit for confidence and well-being.
Key Topics: Social media literacy, peer pressure, mental health first aid, boundaries.
Activities: Social media detox challenge; building peer support groups; exploring case studies of digital narrative pitfalls.
7. Essentialism for Well-being: Pruning Relationships and Commitments for a More Inclusive Life
Objective: Encourage participants to focus on quality over quantity in their networks and invest in relationships that nurture true inclusion and belonging.
Key Topics: Essentialism, setting boundaries, identifying symbiotic vs. transactional relationships.
Activities: “Relationship Audit” exercises; workshops on saying no; scenarios for maintaining inclusion in smaller circles.
Each of these workshops can be tailored for diverse audiences—schools, corporate teams, entrepreneurs, educators, or D&I leaders. The overarching thread is the centrality of human connection, self-knowledge, and adaptability in building inclusive, thriving communities—echoing the spirit of Joanne Lockwood’s conversations with Scott Grates.
For facilitation or partnership, get in touch with Joanne Lockwood via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or visit https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen for more.
🪡 Threads by Instagram
Relationships are the true currency of success. Scott Grates shows how reciprocating real value creates authentic connections and growth. Isn’t it time we focused less on transactions and more on nurturing people?
In a fast-paced digital world, trust is harder to earn but lost in a moment. Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates remind us that genuine empathy and personal branding go beyond algorithms—they build true belonging.
Confidence isn’t found in textbooks or filtered posts—it’s built through setbacks, grit and resilience. Scott Grates urges us to empower young people not to fear failing but to see it as the foundation of growth.
Want to be remembered? Stop collecting contacts—start shaping how people perceive you. “It’s not just who you know, but who knows you,” says Joanne Lockwood. Authenticity builds lasting reputation.
Are we helping young people develop critical thinking or just teaching them what to think? Scott Grates advocates moving from knowledge to self-awareness, enabling the next generation to thrive beyond school walls.
Leadership Insights - YouTube Short Video Script on Common Problems for Leaders to Address
Leadership Insights Channel: Building Trust Through Relationships
Are you a leader struggling to inspire loyalty and engagement in your team? Here’s the issue: too many leaders focus on outcomes—targets, numbers, quick wins—and forget the real value lies in relationships.
Here’s what happens: when people don’t feel seen, heard, or genuinely valued, trust erodes—and once lost, it’s nearly impossible to rebuild.
So, what actions lead to real change?
Start by nurturing authentic connections. Focus on the “geese”—the people who bring value daily—not just the “golden eggs” of immediate results.
Listen actively. Show genuine empathy when your team members are anxious or facing challenges. Don’t leap in with advice; sometimes, just being present builds trust.
Give without expecting a direct return. Help others succeed, knowing reciprocity will come naturally over time.
Leaders who embrace these behaviours foster a loyal, resilient team ready to take initiative and support each other. Transform relationships into reciprocal success, not just for today, but for the long term. Are you ready to stop chasing results and start building real trust?
SEO Optimised Titles
5 Essential Relationship Marketing Strategies for Lasting Success | Scott @ scottgrates.com
From 2008 Financial Crisis to Business Thriving: Lessons in Resilience & Adaptability | Scott @ scottgrates.com
Why 200 Strong Relationships Beat Mass Marketing in the AI Era | Scott @ scottgrates.com
Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode
Subject: From Textbook to Triumph – Five Keys to Inclusive Success! 🎙️
Hello Inclusion Bites Family,
We’re back with a brand new episode and this one’s bursting with insights you won’t want to miss! For Episode 186, “From Textbook to Triumph,” Joanne Lockwood welcomes visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author Scott Grates for a deep dive into the art of fostering real relationships, embracing failure, and equipping ourselves (and the next generation) for meaningful success. Whether you're tuning in on your morning walk or winding down at home, get ready for another bold conversation that lights the spark of inclusion!
Here are 5 brilliant takeaways you’ll learn:
1. Why Relationships Trump Transactions:
Discover how Scott Grates built an entire business by nurturing genuine, reciprocal relationships instead of chasing every single lead. Spoiler: People notice when you act from the heart, not the wallet.
2. The Power of Personal Brand in a Digital World:
It’s not just about who you know, but who knows you. Joanne Lockwood shares why letting your values shine is more important than collecting business cards.
3. Mastering Change in the Age of AI:
AI is transforming our work and our lives at lightning speed – but as Scott Grates reminds us, empathy, authenticity, and the ability to really “see” one another remain irreplaceable.
4. Learning from Failure – and Letting the Next Generation Do the Same:
We explore why letting young people experience setbacks is essential for resilience, grit, and entrepreneurial spirit (and why “A* students” aren’t always the future CEOs).
5. Building True ‘Belonging’ in a Hyperconnected World:
Deep friendships and inclusive environments don’t happen by accident. Scott Grates reveals why focusing on quality over quantity in relationships is key to thriving – at work and in life.
Unique Episode Nugget:
Did you know Scott Grates creates a “Scott bot” with all his writings, personal stories, and more, using AI to supercharge his work and training? It’s his digital secret weapon for blending efficiency and authenticity – and it just might change the way you think about your own creative process!
Ready to spark your own triumph?
Tune in to this episode and see which inspiration sticks – maybe it’s staying curious, letting others know who you are, or allowing yourself (or your team) to get things wrong on the road to getting them right.
Have reflections, stories, or thoughts on inclusion and belonging? We’d absolutely love to hear from you. Drop Joanne a line at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk – and if you’re keen to join the conversation on air, just say so.
Catch the full episode right here: Inclusion Bites Podcast – From Textbook to Triumph
(Subscribing means you’ll never miss a beat!)
Here’s to building a more inclusive world, one bold chat at a time.
Catch you on the next episode!
Warm regards,
Joanne & the Inclusion Bites Team
#InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences
Potted Summary
Episode Introduction
Join Joanne Lockwood as she welcomes Scott Grates for a candid exploration of personal growth, relationship marketing, and the impact of technology on connection. From weathering the 2008 financial crisis to empowering the next generation, Scott Grates shares his journey of resilience, community, and redefining success beyond the textbooks. Expect a deeply human conversation about finding meaning, building trust, and thriving through change.
In this conversation we discuss
👉 Building Relationships
👉 AI’s Human Touch
👉 Empowering Students
Here are a few of our favourite quotable moments
“Confidence is earned, not learned.”
“Empathy is so important … sometimes we don’t even give advice, we just give an ear and we’re there for people emotionally.”
“In this digitally dominated world, what was once old is new again … the power of eyeball to eyeball, loving on people, AI can’t replace that.”
Summary & Call to Action
This episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast challenges the status quo by spotlighting the value of trust, authentic relationships, and personal growth in both business and life. Discover practical wisdom for navigating today’s fast-changing world and nurturing inclusive cultures. Tune in now to be inspired by stories that will ignite your own journey—listen at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.
LinkedIn Poll
Opening Summary for LinkedIn Poll:
On this episode of Inclusion Bites, "From Textbook to Triumph," Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates explored the core of building trust and meaningful relationships in today’s rapidly changing, digitally dominated world. They reflected on what makes professional relationships authentic, especially as we leverage both technology and human connections for personal and professional growth. In their conversation, they noted how relationship marketing, personal branding, and the cultivation of trust have evolved—but remain rooted in empathy, consistency, and value.
LinkedIn Poll Question:
What do you think is the most crucial factor in building authentic professional relationships today?
#InclusionBites #ProfessionalRelationships #Belonging #GrowthMindset
Poll Options:
🤝 Genuine empathy
🌱 Giving before expecting
🔍 Personal brand clarity
🕰️ Consistency over time
Closing (Why Vote):
Your opinion matters—let's keep this conversation going! Vote to share what you value most when building strong connections at work, and help us all foster more inclusive and resilient professional communities.
Highlight the Importance of this topic on LinkedIn
Just listened to “From Textbook to Triumph” on the Inclusion Bites Podcast with Scott Grates and Joanne Lockwood. 🌍✨
This conversation is a must-hear for any HR, People, or EDI professional. The way Scott reframes success—focusing on authentic relationships, empathy, and empowering young talent—hits right at the heart of our industry’s current challenges.
🔗 The emphasis on who knows us, rather than just who we know, is a game-changer for how we build meaningful workplace connections.
🤝 Relationship marketing and genuine human connections are set to outpace transactional approaches, especially as AI reshapes our professional landscape.
📚 Scott’s approach to empowering the next generation isn’t just about textbook knowledge—it’s about cultivating resilience, embracing failure, and developing critical thinking. These are the attributes we must foster to future-proof our organisations.
Why does this matter for us as leaders? Because our ability to inspire trust, nurture belonging, and create environments for people to flourish will determine our impact.
Let’s lead the way towards a more inclusive, agile, and human-centred future. 💡🚀
#InclusionBites #InclusionMatters #PeopleProfessionals #EDI #Leadership #SEEChangeHappen
L&D Insights
Certainly! Here’s an expert L&D briefing for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI professionals, synthesising the actionable insights and “aha moments” from the Inclusion Bites Podcast episode From Textbook to Triumph.
🎙️ Key Insights for Leaders & EDI Professionals
1. The Golden Goose Principle
Scott Grates reframes relationship marketing through the "Goose and Golden Egg" metaphor: Rather than chasing leads (the eggs), focus on cultivating relationships with key influencers and trusted partners (the geese). In practice, this means prioritising long-term reciprocity over short-term transactions in stakeholder engagement.
➡️ Aha moment: True success and sustained growth emerge when you invest authentically in those who can open doors—not just those who fill quotas.
2. Relationship-First Leadership in a Digital World
Both Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates highlight how authentic, empathetic relationships gain even more value as society digitises. In a world awash with AI, automation, and transactional interactions, human connection becomes a unique selling point.
➡️ Aha moment: AI is a tool, not a replacement for empathy, active listening, and interpersonal trust—the bedrock of people-centred leadership.
3. Confidence and Growth through Failure
The transition “From Textbook to Triumph” isn’t simply knowing facts—it’s embracing resilience and learning from setbacks. Scott Grates advocates empowering others (be it teams or students) to learn from mistakes, develop grit, and question limiting self-beliefs.
➡️ Aha moment: Leaders must create cultures where failure is reframed as learning, not shame, and offer psychological safety for growth.
4. Personal Brand: It’s Who Knows You
The episode emphasises building a purposeful, values-led personal brand in both physical and digital workplaces. As Joanne Lockwood puts it: “It’s no longer what you know or who you know—it’s who knows you.” Reputation and advocacy are built on consistent values and authentic storytelling.
➡️ Aha moment: Your digital footprint and offline persona must align for credibility and trust—crucial in recruitment, retention, and inclusion work.
5. Tackling the Loneliness Epidemic & Superficial Networks
Both speakers unpack the paradox of hyper-connectivity: more contacts, but fewer meaningful relationships. Superficial networks can exacerbate loneliness, undermine belonging, and erode psychological wellbeing.
➡️ Aha moment: Inclusion and belonging start with creating fewer, deeper, reciprocal relationships—not just expanding your LinkedIn connections.
🔎 Action Steps for EDI and HR Leadership
Refocus Stakeholder Engagement: Target your efforts on nurturing strategic partnerships and influential advocates within and outside your organisation.
Model Vulnerability & Growth: Encourage team members to share failures and celebrate learnings. Normalise “not knowing” and continuous personal development.
Cultivate Psychological Safety: Foster environments where people feel safe to experiment, fail, and be themselves, especially important for underrepresented groups.
Align Brand and Values: Audit your professional story online and offline—ensure they reflect your commitment to inclusion, empathy, and integrity.
Deepen Human Connections: Invest in quality over quantity; design opportunities for genuine relationship building rather than mere networking events.
✨ Aha Moments for Social Media
🥚 Shift focus from short-term wins to long-term, reciprocal relationships!
🤖 Leverage AI as a tool—but never let it replace human empathy or leadership.
🛡️ True belonging and resilience are forged through failure, not perfection.
👀 Personal brand is about who knows you—make your values visible!
🤝 Authentic, deep relationships are the foundation of inclusive cultures.
#InclusionBites #RelationshipLeadership #PersonalBranding #EDIInsights #PeopleNotProcesses
For the full episode and more practical examples, tune in to Inclusion Bites Podcast or connect with Joanne Lockwood via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Shorts Video Script
Attention-Grabbing Title for Social Media Post:
Unlocking Real World Success: Why Relationships Beat Algorithms Every Time! #InclusionInsights #HumanConnection
Hashtags:
#RelationshipMatters
#EmpathyInAction
#RealWorldSuccess
#InclusiveFuture
#GrowthMindset
Text on screen: Building Success Through Relationships 🤝
Want real world success? Forget chasing every golden opportunity and start focusing on the relationships that truly matter. Here’s what I’ve learned about standing out in a crowded, digital-first world.
Text on screen: The Goose & Golden Egg Metaphor 🪿
Picture this: everyone scrambles for instant results – the golden eggs. But what if you nurtured the geese instead? Those key relationships who lay golden opportunities time and again. When you give value with no expectation of return and build authentic trust, genuine success follows.
Text on screen: Adapt to Thrive 🌱
AI is reshaping everything. Don’t be afraid of it—embrace it as a tool, not a replacement for human connection. The trick? Adapt. Let technology help with efficiency, but never lose sight of the power of real, human empathy.
Text on screen: Power of Personal Brand 🌍
It’s not just about who you know. The game has changed—it’s about who knows you. Show up authentically, share your voice, and leverage platforms to build credibility, but make sure your content reflects your values and strengths. Guard your reputation; it lasts longer than any viral moment.
Text on screen: Empathy & Trust: Your Superpower 🔥
Inclusion, connection, and empathy can’t be automated. Even in risk management, trust is won through listening, understanding, and being present. Whether you’re supporting clients or mentoring students, your empathy is what sets you apart.
Text on screen: Let Kids (and Yourself) Fail & Grow 🌱
Real strength comes from overcoming setbacks. Encourage young people—and yourself—to take risks, embrace failure, and learn from each stumble. That’s how true confidence is built. We succeed not by avoiding adversity, but by learning to bounce back, every time.
Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨
Glossary of Terms and Phrases
- **Relationship Marketing**
Building long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with clients, customers, and key community members, rather than focusing solely on direct transactional sales or traditional advertising.
- **Goose and the Golden Egg**
A metaphor describing the strategy of nurturing valuable relationships (the 'geese') that continually produce opportunities or referrals (the 'golden eggs'), rather than chasing individual short-term gains.
- **BS Metres**
Informal term referring to people's heightened sensitivity or ability to detect insincerity or inauthentic behaviour, especially relevant in contexts of relationship building and marketing.
- **Giver’s Gain**
A philosophy derived from networking (such as BNI) which posits that providing value for others without immediate expectation of return leads to reciprocal benefit over time.
- **Altruistic Model**
An approach to relationship marketing where acts are performed for the good of others without a calculated expectation of direct reciprocation.
- **Personal Brand**
How individuals present and differentiate themselves publicly, especially in the digital sphere, shaping others’ perception and professional reputation.
- **AI as a Tool**
The notion that Artificial Intelligence should be used as an assistant to enhance efficiency and productivity, rather than a replacement for genuine human engagement and critical thinking.
- **Imposter Syndrome**
The psychological experience of doubting one’s abilities or feeling like a fraud, even when competent; discussed in the context of both young people and professionals.
- **Critical Thinking and Discernment**
Essential skills highlighted for young people, involving objective analysis and evaluation of information to form sound judgements beyond rote learning or simple knowledge recall.
- **Microwave Society**
A metaphor for a culture expecting instant results and gratification, often at a detriment to resilience, patience, and deeper development.
- **APPS Model (Acknowledge, Prove, Pause, Silence)**
A framework introduced by Scott Grates for managing self-doubt: acknowledge negative self-talk, prove it wrong through evidence, and silence it to move forward.
- **Peer Review (as applied to AI)**
Borrowed from scientific method, this refers to the process of vetting and strengthening advice or content by subjecting it to critique—here, performed interactively using AI or collective feedback.
- **Contrarian Approach**
A deliberate strategy of pursuing alternative methods contrary to the mainstream or commonly accepted practices, in order to stand out and innovate.
- **Transactionality vs. Symbiotic Relationships**
The contrast between fleeting, benefit-driven interactions (‘transactional’) and deeper, ongoing relationships where both parties reciprocate in value (‘symbiotic’).
- **Diluted Focus/Diluted Results**
The concept that spreading one's efforts too thinly across multiple areas leads to weak or unremarkable outcomes; focused effort yields superior results.
- **Empathy in Business**
The capacity to genuinely understand and share the feelings of others as a fundamental, irreplaceable component of trust and long-term customer relationships.
- **Essentialism**
Referenced as a productivity philosophy (from Greg McKeown) that advocates concentrating on what is truly important by eliminating the non-essential.
SEO Optimised YouTube Content
Focus Keyword: Relationship Marketing
Video Title: From Textbook to Triumph: Transforming Business through Relationship Marketing | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags: relationship marketing, inclusive culture, culture change, positive people experiences, business growth, reciprocal success, networking, community, belonging, personal brand, empathy, trust, social media, entrepreneurship, resilience, personal development, people-centric, human connection, leadership, sales strategy, inclusion, business strategy, transformative conversation, digital future, authentic relationships,
Killer Quote: "I just still believe that if you have a couple hundred really strong relationships with the right people now, every business is different, but in my business, a couple hundred solid relationships... we can do everything we need to accomplish for our customers by just knowing a couple hundred of the right people and, you know, diving deep into those relationships." - Scott Grates
Hashtags: #RelationshipMarketing, #InclusiveCulture, #CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #BusinessGrowth, #ReciprocalSuccess, #Networking, #Community, #Belonging, #PersonalBrand, #Empathy, #Trust, #SocialMedia, #Entrepreneurship, #Resilience, #PersonalDevelopment, #Leadership, #SalesStrategy, #Inclusion, #TransformativeConversations
Why Listen: From Textbook to Triumph—Relationship Marketing and Positive People Experiences
Welcome to this episode of Inclusion Bites, titled “From Textbook to Triumph”. I’m Joanne Lockwood, your host, and today I’m joined by visionary entrepreneur and best-selling author, Scott Grates. Together, we peel back the layers of an often overlooked, yet entirely transformative approach to business growth: Relationship Marketing.
What does it really mean to bring about Culture Change within an organisation? How do we move beyond textbook theory and into the real world, ensuring Positive People Experiences for our teams, communities, and the wider society? In this episode, we delve into how reciprocal success is possible not just by focusing on outcomes, but by investing in authentic connections and sustainable relationships.
Scott started his business journey not from a place of privilege, but necessity. After being made redundant during the 2008 financial crisis, he realised the power—not of targeting customers as isolated ‘golden eggs’—but of nurturing the ‘geese’, the actual people and communities who continually create opportunities. This powerful metaphor shines throughout our conversation as we explore how focussing on meaningful and reciprocal relationships is the true driver of business growth and cultural transformation.
The episode covers a holistic understanding of relationship marketing—shaped by Scott’s experiences in the insurance world, but applicable to any environment striving for inclusion and change. Together, we unpack why genuine relationships, empathy, and trust are more valuable than any flashy advertising campaign or mass-market digital initiative. In an age of digital disruption and AI, the companies and leaders who will thrive are those who foster human-centric values and put Positive People Experiences front and centre.
We dive deep into:
The distinction between transactional networking and authentic relationship-building.
The evolving definition of personal brand: why it’s not just about who you know, but who knows you.
How to leverage social media and AI as tools, not replacements, for human connection—using them to amplify, not automate, empathy, trust, and culture change.
Why resilience, failure, and the ability to bounce back are essential ingredients to real-world success, and how you can instil these qualities within yourself and your team.
The loneliness crisis and how building inclusive cultures and meaningful connections can help overcome it.
The importance of critical thinking, self-awareness, and the role of peer review—especially for younger generations balancing the pressures of social media and comparison culture.
Empowering young people, entrepreneurs, and leaders to move from ‘what’ to ‘who’: shifting from the pursuit of accolades to building internal grit, authentic networks, and strong values.
Whether you’re leading a team, running a business, or just passionate about fostering culture change, this episode is brimming with actionable insights and real stories. It’s a clarion call to create environments where everyone can belong, thrive, and experience the genuine benefits of Positive People Experiences.
Tune in and prepare to challenge your perspective. Are you living to work, or working to live? Are you truly seen, heard, and valued in your circle of influence? Is your culture defined by inclusion, reciprocal success, and empathy, or by outdated hierarchical norms? Scott and I invite you not only to listen, but to act—because real change is possible when we dare to disrupt, engage, and connect.
Closing Summary and Call to Action: Key Learning Points & Actionable Insights
Relationship Marketing is a Game Changer
Shift your approach from transactional interactions to nurturing genuine connections. Move beyond the surface-level acquisition of prospects, focussing instead on cultivating mutually beneficial relationships with individuals and communities who align with your values.Focus on the ‘Geese’, Not Just the Golden Eggs
As Scott highlights, invest in those who continually create opportunities—business partners, peer networks, community groups—rather than focusing solely on end-users or customers. This approach brings long-term reciprocal success, builds trust, and accelerates growth.Culture Change Starts with Personal Brand and Authenticity
Your reputation isn’t solely built on what you know or who you know, but critically on ‘who knows you’—how you show up, communicate, and impact others. Let your values, hopes, and authentic stories lead the way. Craft your personal brand as a people-focused, inclusive leader who champions Positive People Experiences.Empathy and Trust are Your Greatest Competitive Advantages
In an increasingly digital and AI-driven landscape, empathy and trust remain irreplaceable. Invest in learning the skill of active listening, show genuine care for others, and demonstrate vulnerability when you don’t have the answers.Leverage Technology Thoughtfully
Use tools like AI and social media to enhance your efficiency and reach—but don’t let them substitute real human connection. Create content that adds value, encourages interaction, and supports others. Peer-review and constantly refine your approach for greater impact.Invest in Resilience and Embrace Failure
True confidence is not learnt from books, but earned through experience, failure, and perseverance. Support yourself and others in taking risks, learning from setbacks, and celebrating growth built on determination and grit.Combat Loneliness by Building Meaningful Connections
Recognise the loneliness crisis present in modern society. Create, nurture, and maintain a small network of deep, meaningful relationships which offer mutual support, challenge, and growth.Empower the Next Generation
Encourage self-awareness, critical thinking, and discernment in young people. Help them navigate comparison culture and the pressures of social media. Teach them that their worth is not tied to fleeting accolades, but to character, effort, and authentic connections.Inclusive Culture is Action-Oriented
Move beyond lip-service to diversity and inclusion. Champion inclusive practices at work and in your community, focussing on fostering belonging, listening deeply, and challenging the status quo for real culture change.Action Steps for Listeners
Reflect on the quality of your current relationships: are they reciprocal, meaningful, and built on trust?
Evaluate your online activity: are you using technology to deepen human connection or simply automate interaction?
Identify one area in your life or organisation where you can foster culture change—start with a small action today.
Take a risk, embrace vulnerability, and learn from any missteps. Use failure as feedback.
Support and mentor others—especially young people—by sharing your stories, insights, and offering meaningful engagement.
Amplify Positive People Experiences
Be intentional about creating and scaling Positive People Experiences wherever you go—at work, in your personal life, and in your community. Lead by example and inspire others to do the same.Stay Connected
For more tools, guidance, or to join the conversation, reach out via SEE Change Happen. Share your insights, success stories, and let’s collectively drive transformation in inclusive cultures together.
Outro
Thank you, the listener, for tuning in to this episode of Inclusion Bites. If today’s conversation resonated with you and you feel inspired to spark Culture Change and put Positive People Experiences at the heart of your life or organisation, please show your support—like, comment, and subscribe to this channel. For more resources, insight, and ways to get involved, visit the following:
SEE Change Happen: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
The Inclusion Bites Podcast: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
Root Cause Analyst - Why!
Certainly. Let's analyse the episode "From Textbook to Triumph" of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, identifying the central problems and drilling down to their root causes using the ‘Five Whys’ technique.
Key Problems Identified:
Young people (students) lack resilience, critical thinking, and confidence for real-world success.
Relationship-building has become increasingly transactional in a digital and AI-dominated environment, eroding authentic connections.
Social media and technology foster unhealthy comparison and damage self-esteem and interpersonal skills among the younger generation.
Problem 1: Young people lack resilience, critical thinking, and confidence for real-world success.
Why 1:
Because schools often prioritise teaching ‘what to think’ (facts, rote learning) rather than ‘how to think’ (critical thinking, discernment, emotional intelligence).
Why 2:
This curriculum design is shaped by traditional educational models focused on standardised testing and measurable outcomes rather than holistic development.
Why 3:
Societal expectations—and parental desires for clear success metrics—drive schools to favour academic performance over emotional or interpersonal growth.
Why 4:
There’s a persistent myth that high grades equate to future success, overshadowing the importance of ‘soft skills’ and resilience built through failure and adversity.
Why 5:
Education systems and stakeholders have been slow to adapt to the evolving skills required for 21st-century workplaces, clinging to outdated metrics.
Problem 2: Relationship-building has become increasingly transactional, with a decline in authentic connections.
Why 1:
Digitalisation and AI have automated many interactions, shifting focus from personal engagement to efficiency and scale.
Why 2:
Individuals and organisations increasingly rely on algorithms, chatbots, and social media rather than in-person connections.
Why 3:
This transition is driven by cost-saving, convenience, and the speed afforded by technology, at the expense of meaningful relationships.
Why 4:
There’s a cultural trend towards valuing ‘network size’ over relationship depth, encouraged by social platforms and business networking practices (e.g., BNI).
Why 5:
Humans are becoming conditioned to treat relationships as commodities to be leveraged, rather than communities to be nurtured, leading to weaker social bonds and diminished trust.
Problem 3: Social media and technology foster unhealthy comparison and erode self-esteem and interpersonal skills.
Why 1:
Children and young adults consume and compare themselves to curated, filtered highlight reels of their peers or influencers.
Why 2:
There’s little guidance on critical media literacy or emotional regulation in schools or at home, leading to unchecked comparison.
Why 3:
Many young people lack opportunities for real interpersonal engagement, which would help anchor their self-worth beyond digital validation.
Why 4:
Social platforms are designed for engagement, not wellbeing; algorithms amplify content that captures attention, often at the psychological expense of users.
Why 5:
Corporate motives and societal inertia prevent meaningful reform, leaving vulnerable users subject to harmful digital environments.
Summary of Root Causes:
Outdated educational priorities neglecting emotional intelligence and resilience.
Societal and parental pressure for academic metrics over character development.
Culture of efficiency and scale driving transactional over authentic relationships.
Social platforms designed for engagement, not wellbeing, fuelling comparison and loneliness.
Lack of critical thinking, media literacy, and opportunities for genuine human connection.
Potential Solutions:
Educational Reform:
Integrate curricula focused on critical thinking, emotional intelligence, and resilience. Adopt ‘how to think’ approaches alongside traditional academics.Promote Genuine Connections:
Encourage and model deep relationship-building in schools and workplaces—advocate for face-to-face interactions and small-group activities, not just transactional networking.Media Literacy Programmes:
Teach children and young adults how to critically assess digital content, recognise the dangers of comparison, and build healthy self-esteem.Parental and Societal Engagement:
Empower parents and community leaders to discuss failure, resilience, and authentic relationships as measures of success, not just grades or social clout.Tech Design Reform:
Advocate for responsible social platform design that prioritises user wellbeing—implement checks against harmful content, promote positive engagement, and reduce addictive algorithms.
These interventions address the root causes rather than merely masking symptoms, thus fostering a generation—and workplace—rich in resilience, empathy, and authentic connections. The episode admirably explores these themes, but as analysts, the onus is on all stakeholders to champion deeper, more systemic change.
Canva Slider Checklist
| Closing & Call to Action | Ready to drive real change through intentional relationship building? Connect with Joanne Lockwood and SEE Change Happen. Visit https://seechangehappen.co.uk to shape inclusive cultures and elevate your leadership. It’s time to empower belonging—let’s start the conversation!
Episode Carousel
Slide 1
🌟 What if YOUR most powerful tool for success isn't what you know—but who knows you? 🌟
Slide 2
Meet Scott Grates: Visionary entrepreneur & bestselling author, who went from redundancy in the 2008 crash to thriving by mastering the art of relationship marketing—discovering that trust and authenticity trump traditional sales every time.
Slide 3
In a digital world dominated by AI and automation, Scott Grates shares why genuine human connection is your ultimate advantage. He believes: “Eyeball to eyeball and really caring about people—that, AI can't replace.”
Slide 4
Feeling overwhelmed by the 'highlight reels' on social media or struggling with imposter syndrome? Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates unpack how building resilience and authentic connections—starting now—can transform not only your business, but your whole life.
Slide 5
🔥 Ready to turn textbook theory into personal triumph? Tap the link in bio to listen to this episode of Inclusion Bites! 🎧
#InclusionBites #RelationshipMarketing #AuthenticSuccess #ListenNow
6 major topics
From Textbook to Triumph: Six Major Topics on Building Inclusive Cultures
Meta Description: Discover transformative insights on building Inclusive Cultures from my conversation with visionary entrepreneur Scott Grates, as we explore resilience, relationship marketing, personal branding, youth empowerment, technology and empathy. Join the journey to more inclusive workplaces and communities.
As your host, I’m always energised by discussions that bring new light to the world of Inclusive Cultures. In my recent conversation with Scott Grates, we delved into a rich tapestry of themes that drive meaningful change, touch on belonging, and challenge accepted norms. Whether you’re a seasoned HR professional, an Inclusion champion, or simply someone seeking to nurture a sense of belonging, these reflections offer a fresh perspective and practical curiosity for everyone.
Geese, Golden Eggs, and the Power of Relationship Marketing in Inclusive Cultures
When Scott shared his journey into relationship marketing, it was as if the room lit up with possibility. He introduced the fable of the goose and the golden egg, but instead of focusing on short-term wins (“the eggs”), he urged us to nurture the relationships (“the geese”) that drive long-term, reciprocal success. One of my curiosities was how we can authentically build trust without expectation of immediate reward. In a world awash with transactional approaches and digital shortcuts, the enduring value of genuine connection forms the bedrock of Inclusive Cultures and business resilience. Are we willing to go deep, give without expectation, and trust that the right people will reciprocate? It’s a provocative question for anyone serious about reshaping their organisation’s culture.
Personal Branding: Who Knows You, and Why It Changes Everything
We’ve all heard “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”—but together, Scott and I challenged this notion, emphasising that it’s really, “who knows you”. In this hyperconnected age, your personal brand is no longer a passive asset waiting to be discovered; it’s an active, living reflection of your values, presence, and impact. Scott shared how he coaches young people to curate their digital and personal brand intentionally—from creating authentic LinkedIn content, to being visible for the right reasons. My curiosity here centres on the double-edged sword of visibility: are we sufficiently aware that what we put out there can be as powerful in haunting us as it is in advancing our cause? Those venturing into Inclusive Cultures must ask themselves, 'How am I seen—by my community, industry, and beyond?’
Resilience: The Prize of Strategic Failure and Stepping Outside the Textbook
The heart of Inclusive Cultures lies in resilience—not in avoiding failure, but embracing it as feedback. The conversation brought to life the value of enduring setbacks and the importance of allowing future generations to earn their scars. I’m curious: Are we as leaders overprotecting younger colleagues, shielding them from failure, when what they most need is room to falter and learn? Scott’s “think outside the textbook” approach makes me ponder the best environments for nurturing grit, bounce-back-ability, and a robust defence against adversity. Do we let our employees and students try, fail, and rise again, or do we inadvertently discourage risk by shrouding them in safety?
Youth Empowerment: Critical Thinking Beyond the Curriculum
Scott moved the conversation towards the empowerment of young people, challenging the sufficiency of formal education in preparing them for genuine belonging and success. Curious as ever, I asked how students can be taught critical thinking and self-awareness outside of rigid curriculums. The answer lies in experience—encouraging them to acknowledge doubts, prove negative self-talk wrong, and embrace continuous improvement. The real magic of Inclusive Cultures, it seems, is not in creating perfect environments, but in helping the next generation become resilient, discerning, and true to themselves. How do we inspire young leaders to value who they are, not just what they know?
Digital Disruption and Technology: Threats, Tools, and the Human Factor in Inclusive Cultures
With the rise of AI and digital platforms, traditional industries are being upended, but as we discussed, technology is only as effective as the humanity behind it. The curiosity here is twofold: How are we adapting to rapid technological change without losing the vital human connection? Scott and I agreed that for industries grounded in empathy—such as risk management and wellbeing—digital tools enhance efficiency but cannot replace interpersonal trust. In Inclusive Cultures, leaders must balance the allure of technological “efficiency” with the irreplaceable value of face-to-face conversation and empathy. Will we see a premium placed on genuine human relationships as automation increases?
Empathy, Trust, and the Art of Deep Relationships in Inclusive Cultures
Where relationship marketing and youth empowerment intersect, empathy emerges as the indispensable thread. Scott eloquently put that facts and stats can be delivered by machines, but only people can offer “I hear you, I’ve been there.” I’m deeply curious: In our drive for data-driven decisions, are we neglecting the softer skills so vital to belonging? Trust is hard fought and easily lost—how often do we invest in deep listening, in being emotionally present for colleagues, students, and clients? Building Inclusive Cultures is, fundamentally, about nurturing a few critical, reciprocal relationships rather than amassing fleeting connections.
Conclusion: Building Inclusive Cultures—The Journey Forward
Strategically weaving relationship marketing, personal branding, youth resilience, critical thinking, digital adaptation, and empathy creates a vibrant foundation for Inclusive Cultures. As I reflect on this transformative conversation, I am reminded that true inclusion is never transactional—it’s a slow, careful building of trust, self-awareness, and courage, rooted in authentic human connection. If you’re curious to deepen your journey, challenge your assumptions and embrace the spirit of belonging, join me in making Inclusive Cultures our shared mission.
Let’s continue the dialogue—amplify your voice, and connect at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. For more bold conversations that inspire action, visit Inclusion Bites.
#InclusiveCultures #InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences
TikTok Summary
🔥 Ever wondered what it really takes to turn setbacks into success? Catch a taste of “From Textbook to Triumph” on #InclusionBites! Visionary entrepreneur Scott Grates reveals why relationships—not just results—are the real golden ticket. 🌟 Goose, golden eggs & genuine connection: think you know relationship marketing? Think again!
🎧 Ready for bold conversations that drive real change? Tap in, get inspired, and join the movement.
👉 Full episode here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionMatters #PodcastSnippet #SEEChangeHappen
Slogans and Image Prompts
Certainly! Here’s a curated list of memorable slogans, soundbites, and quotes from the episode, each paired with a detailed AI image generation prompt to help bring your merchandise to life. These are ideal for mugs, t-shirts, stickers, or as hashtags. Each is rooted in the authentic dialogue and themes explored by Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates.
1. Slogan:
"Transforming Relationships into Reciprocal Success"
Image Generation Prompt:
A dynamic, modern vector illustration showing two hands shaking, with golden eggs and geese forming a circular motif behind them. Add glowing, interconnected lines to symbolise networking and growth. The overall palette should be optimistic—think blues, golds, and emerald greens. The text is bold, friendly, and contemporary, centred beneath the design in clean sans-serif.
2. Soundbite:
"Go Deep with the Geese, Not Just the Golden Eggs"
Image Generation Prompt:
A whimsical but classy scene featuring several golden eggs in a nest, but the focus is on a group of lively geese standing together, some exchanging envelopes or documents. The setting is lush and slightly abstract. Layer the phrase in an elegant handwritten font across the top. Use warm, nature-inspired shades and subtle light, to create a friendly vibe that isn’t childish.
3. Quote:
"Confidence is Earned, Not Learned"
Image Generation Prompt:
A silhouette of a person confidently climbing a staircase that’s formed out of books, with soft sunlight in the background. Overlaid, the words "Confidence is Earned, Not Learned" are inscribed in handwritten script. Colour scheme: uplifting, with hues of sunrise—orange, gold, pale blue.
4. Soundbite/Hashtag:
#StayInYourLaneButDareToListen
Image Generation Prompt:
A straight road stretching into a mountain landscape, but the sides of the road have branching footpaths, each lightly illuminated. At the base, paint a set of classic over-ear headphones. Overlay the hashtag in a sharp, modern font. Colours: Misty purples, deep blues, and silver.
5. Slogan:
"Failure is Just Feedback"
Image Generation Prompt:
A chalkboard-style design with "Failure is Just Feedback" written in bold, white chalk typography. Around the text, doodles of arrows looping back, making the message playful and approachable. Use a deep green or slate grey as the main colour background for that classroom feel.
6. Quote:
"Empower the Next Generation"
Image Generation Prompt:
A diverse group of young people depicted in an optimistic pose, holding up glowing lightbulbs or torches. The background should suggest rising sunlight or an open horizon. The words "Empower the Next Generation" arc above in a hopeful serif font. Colours: Vibrant corals, sky blue, gold highlights.
7. Hashtag:
#MicrowaveSocietySlowDown
Image Generation Prompt:
Vintage motif: a retro microwave with a snail sitting on top, steam stylised as clock hands. The phrase "#MicrowaveSocietySlowDown" is written underneath in a playful, blocky font. Colours: Retro pastels with an urban edge.
8. Soundbite:
"What Was Once Old is New Again"
Image Generation Prompt:
Retro-futuristic collage: A vinyl record morphing into a digital waveform, set against a split background of sepia and neon. Overlay the soundbite in a stylised, high-contrast mix of vintage and digital typefaces.
9. Quote:
"Less is More — Especially with People"
Image Generation Prompt:
A minimalist, line-drawn mug showing two hands holding a single thriving plant. Around the rim, in small elegant letters, the quote is wrapped seamlessly. Colours: Pure white, black outlines, and one accent pastel (e.g., mint or blush).
10. Hashtag:
#InclusionBites
Image Generation Prompt:
A circular logo badge featuring diverse silhouettes sharing a giant biscuit (cookie), with puzzle pieces subtly integrated into the design, signifying inclusion. Overlay the hashtag in a friendly, bold font. Vibrant, inclusive palette with blues, oranges, yellows, and reds.
These phrases and prompts bring together the humour, humanity, and insight of the episode, translating genuine podcast conversations into visually compelling, desirable merchandise or shareable hashtags.
Inclusion Bites Spotlight
Scott Grates, our guest on From Textbook to Triumph, the latest episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, brings forth a refreshing perspective on relationship marketing and its powerful link to real-world success. As a visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author, Scott’s approach doesn’t merely revolve around business growth—he is passionate about empowering students and fostering authentic, reciprocal relationships that set the stage for lasting transformation.
Scott’s philosophy centres on the concept that success isn’t just transactional; instead, it’s shaped through deep, meaningful connections. By nurturing relationships—be it within small businesses, schools, or community organisations—Scott shows how going beyond the surface and supporting others with genuine intent is integral, especially in our increasingly digitised, AI-driven world. He champions the value of human interaction, demonstrating that empathy, trust, and the willingness to 'pay it forward' are the bedrocks of thriving communities.
In this episode, Scott shares his journey from launching an insurance agency in the wake of personal and global adversity, highlighting how focusing on the people (the ‘geese’ laying the ‘golden eggs’) rather than quick wins can create resilient business ecosystems. His passion extends to mentoring the next generation, helping students embrace critical thinking and self-awareness, building confidence through failure, and learning the significance of personal brand in a hyperconnected society.
Scott’s insights urge us to re-evaluate our relationship with technology and social media, spotlighting both their opportunities and risks for inclusion. He reminds us that genuine relationships remain at the heart of empowerment and belonging, underscoring the importance of empathy, resilience, and discernment for future leaders and entrepreneurs.
Tune in as Scott unlocks practical strategies to ignite the spark of inclusion, nurturing purposeful connections that help communities—and individuals—not merely belong, but truly thrive.
YouTube Description
Can relationship-building really outperform traditional marketing in today's AI-driven world?
Welcome to "From Textbook to Triumph," a compelling episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, where Joanne Lockwood sits down with visionary entrepreneur and author Scott Grates. This conversation breaks the mould, examining how authentic connection and personal branding can become your greatest competitive advantage—even as technology disrupts established norms.
In this episode, you'll discover:
Why the future of success lies in nurturing belonging and genuine relationships, not just chasing transactions.
The power of empathy, trust, and resilience—elements that tech simply can't replicate.
Actionable strategies for leveraging your personal brand and embracing digital tools without losing your authenticity.
Insights into the pitfalls of comparison traps, the importance of allowing failure, and how true confidence is earned, not learned.
How the next generation can thrive by embracing discomfort, seeking real human interactions, and building reciprocal relationships for long-term growth.
Key takeaways & actions:
Challenge yourself to focus less on ‘who you know’, and more on ‘who knows you’—your impact and reputation shape your opportunities.
Make space in your life for meaningful connections: prune unfulfilling relationships, embrace peer review, and filter out negativity.
Encourage young people and emerging professionals to embrace setbacks, build resilience, and forge genuine bonds both online and in person.
If you’re an entrepreneur, educator, or simply want to inspire change, begin by making inclusion and belonging the cornerstones of everything you do.
Expect to think differently about networking, feel empowered to cultivate authentic bonds, and act with renewed confidence—because in the modern world, empathy and inclusion are your greatest strengths.
Tune in to spark powerful change in your work, your relationships, and your community.
#InclusionBites #RelationshipMarketing #PersonalBrand #EmpathyMatters #TrustBuilding #Resilience #HumanConnection #DigitalTransformation #InclusiveLeadership #Belonging
Listen to Inclusion Bites Podcast: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Contact Joanne Lockwood: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
10 Question Quiz
Multiple Choice Quiz: "From Textbook to Triumph" – Insights from the Host (Joanne Lockwood)
1. What is the main mission of the Inclusion Bites Podcast as explained by Joanne Lockwood?
A) Entertain listeners with celebrity gossip
B) Challenge the status quo and ignite inclusion
C) Provide technical industry updates
D) Focus on sports and leisure news
2. According to Joanne Lockwood, what is central to creating a world where everyone thrives?
A) Universal healthcare
B) Inclusion and belonging
C) Financial incentives
D) Increased automation
3. How does Joanne Lockwood describe the role of listeners in the Inclusion Bites Podcast?
A) Passive absorbers of content
B) Experts with predefined answers
C) Active participants who can contribute insights or join the show
D) Random callers with no set agenda
4. What personal value does Joanne Lockwood state as fundamental to her relationship-building model?
A) Expecting returns from every action
B) Altruism and authenticity, with no expectation of reward
C) Aggressive networking
D) Maximising profit over principles
5. When discussing digital transformation and AI, how does Joanne Lockwood position herself?
A) Resistant to all forms of technology
B) Embracing AI as a tool while valuing human connection
C) Ignoring technological advancements
D) Advocating for a fully automated world
6. What shift in personal branding does Joanne Lockwood advocate?
A) “It’s all about who you know.”
B) “It’s all about what you know.”
C) “It’s all about who knows you.”
D) “It’s all about avoiding social media.”
7. What does Joanne Lockwood suggest about the impact of past failures?
A) They are best forgotten
B) They cultivate resilience and confidence over time
C) They always lead to regret
D) They should be publicly broadcast
8. How does Joanne Lockwood interpret modern online relationships and social media connections?
A) Strong, lasting bonds with every friend online
B) Many online friends are superficial and would not greet you in person
C) Deep lifelong connections without any effort
D) The best measure of relationship quality
9. What approach does Joanne Lockwood recommend when converging on difficult topics, such as advice related to legislation?
A) Avoiding challenges and critiques
B) Embracing peer review and critics to strengthen guidance
C) Refusing to share advice publicly
D) Only relying on personal opinions
10. According to Joanne Lockwood, what is key to filtering the content one consumes online?
A) Avoid all dissenting opinions
B) Only follow people who share identical views
C) Filter out what brings you joy while staying open
D) Block everyone who challenges your beliefs
Answer Key & Rationales
B) Challenge the status quo and ignite inclusion
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood introduces the podcast as a place “to challenge the status quo and ignite the spark of inclusion”.B) Inclusion and belonging
Rationale: The host centres the mission around inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation as core elements for thriving.C) Active participants who can contribute insights or join the show
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood explicitly invites listeners to reach out and become part of the conversation.B) Altruism and authenticity, with no expectation of reward
Rationale: She highlights an altruistic approach, stating she doesn’t expect to see a return, focusing on authenticity.B) Embracing AI as a tool while valuing human connection
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood talks about embracing AI but continually values the irreplaceable human touch.C) “It’s all about who knows you.”
Rationale: She reframes the old adage to focus on one’s reputation and visibility, not only knowledge or contacts.B) They cultivate resilience and confidence over time
Rationale: She openly talks about how past failures helped her build confidence and resilience, citing “bounce back ability”.B) Many online friends are superficial and would not greet you in person
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood mentions that most online connections wouldn’t say hello in real life.B) Embracing peer review and critics to strengthen guidance
Rationale: She describes using peer feedback and critique to refine her guidance on complex topics.C) Filter out what brings you joy while staying open
Rationale: Her advice is to filter out content that brings joy whilst not walling oneself into an echo chamber, seeking balance.
Summary Paragraph
The host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood, champions bold conversations to challenge the status quo and foster inclusion and belonging. She invites listeners to become active participants in the journey, advocating for authenticity and altruism in relationship-building. Her perspective on modern technology, including AI, is one of considered embracement—leveraging it as a tool, while recognising that human connection remains paramount. Joanne Lockwood encourages individuals to nurture their personal brand by focusing on being known, rather than simply knowing others, and highlights how resilience and confidence are forged through failures. She cautions that many online connections are superficial, urging mindful navigation of social media. When offering guidance on complex issues, she values the peer review process, welcoming critique to build robust advice. Ultimately, she promotes a considered approach to online engagement, filtering for joy but remaining open, embodying the podcast’s philosophy of purposeful, inclusive transformation.
Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm Podcast Poetry
From Lessons to Launch: A Tapestry of Growth
From textbook halls to mountain air,
Where knowledge meets the world out there,
With every challenge, each closed door,
A window opens, offering more.
The city’s rush, the country’s still,
We learn to harness iron will.
From geese that give more than their egg,
To bonds that wealth and hopes outspread.
Connection deep, not quick exchange—
Where trust is sown, the paths rearrange.
The tools we wield, both old and new,
Are only strong as hearts stay true.
Adapting quick to change’s pace,
We find our feet, our joy, our place.
In failure sprung, resilience grows,
Through courage sown from each repose.
With every voice that dares to strive,
Relationships, they keep us alive.
Let youth be bold, not fear their fall—
For wisdom earned uplifts them all.
So share this journey, tune in too,
To stories bright and insights new.
(Subscribe for more, and bring a friend—
Let inclusion’s spark extend and blend.)
—With thanks to Scott Grates for a fascinating podcast episode
Key Learnings
Key Learning & Takeaway from "From Textbook to Triumph" – Inclusion Bites Podcast
The central learning from this episode is the enduring power and necessity of authentic relationship building in both business and personal development, especially in our increasingly digital and AI-driven world. Scott Grates and Joanne Lockwood emphasise that while technology enhances efficiency, true success and inclusion are rooted in nurturing genuine connections, trust, empathy, and resilience — qualities that machines cannot replicate.
Point #1: Relationship First, Transaction Second
Investing in people and building real relationships — rather than chasing instant results or transactional gains — leads to reciprocal success. Scott Grates likens this to focusing on the "geese" who lay golden eggs, rather than the eggs themselves, reminding us that durable networks are cultivated over time through trust and giving without expectation.
Point #2: Embracing (but Not Replacing) with Technology
AI and digital tools are invaluable for efficiency and scale, but they are no substitute for empathy, human presence, and emotional intelligence. The episode underscores that advancements in technology should enhance, not supplant, our interpersonal skills — especially in sectors built on trust, such as financial advice or community leadership.
Point #3: The Crucial Role of Personal Brand
Who knows you is as important, if not more so, than who you know. Crafting an authentic and visible personal brand — one rooted in values, reputation, and real connections — creates opportunities and fosters credibility, especially in today's hyper-connected environment. Joanne Lockwood and Scott Grates discuss how brand building is now accessible to all and vital for both personal and professional growth.
Point #4: Resilience Through Failure and Human Development
Confidence, resilience, and success are not inborn or delivered through textbooks. They're forged through experience: taking risks, failing, learning, and persisting. Scott Grates advocates for an educational approach that prioritises critical thinking, self-awareness, and the acceptance of setbacks as essential steps to lasting achievement and belonging.
In essence:
Inclusive, sustainable success in business, education, and life comes from authentic human interactions, judicious use of technology, mindful personal branding, and a growth mindset that welcomes both failure and feedback.
Book Outline
Book Outline: From Textbook to Triumph — Transforming Relationships and Building Real Success
Introduction: Beyond the Textbook
Summary: Set the stage for a journey from conventional, transactional networking to a philosophy rooted in authentic relationship-building, personal growth, and resilience. Outline the motivations for embracing non-traditional paths and why real-world application trumps textbook theory.
Chapter 1: The Uncharted Launch — Starting from Necessity
Subheadings:
The 2008 Financial Crisis: A Catalyst for Change
Entering Business Without a Safety Net
Embracing Faith Amidst Uncertainty
Lessons Learned: When One Door Closes
Quote suggestion:
"I had no business experience. We had two babies in diapers. The only way out was through, and the only tool I had was relationships."
Anecdote:
The abrupt job loss post-HSBC and the personal impact it had, highlighting how necessity drove a contrarian approach to business.
Interactive Element:
Reflection prompt: Recall a time adversity forced you to innovate — what non-traditional paths did you take?
Chapter 2: The Golden Goose Paradigm — Rethinking Relationship Marketing
Subheadings:
The Fallacy of Chasing ‘Golden Eggs’
Identifying and Investing in the “Geese”
Nurturing Grassroots Connections
Cloning Star Customers Through Value
Quote suggestion:
"Why hunt for golden eggs when I can build relationships with the geese who lay them?"
Visual Aid:
Diagram of the classic marketing funnel vs. the “Goose and Golden Egg” networking model.
Chapter 3: The Long Game — Why Authenticity Beats Transactionality
Subheadings:
Relationship Building vs. Traditional Marketing
The Power of Paying It Forward
Authenticity: The New Social Currency
The Role of Personal Brand
Real-Life Example:
Turning down traditional advertising in favour of deep, reciprocal grassroots partnerships.
Interactive Element:
Exercises for readers to map out “geese” in their own professional networks.
Chapter 4: Adapting in a Digital Age — The Human Edge over AI
Subheadings:
The Evolution of Tools: From Letters to Algorithms
Leveraging AI: Friend, Not Foe
Empathy and Eye Contact in a Digital World
Humans at a Premium: Reclaiming Face-to-Face Value
Quote suggestion:
"AI can't replace what happens eyeball-to-eyeball."
Visual Aid:
Timeline graphic: From print mail to instant AI — how business communication has evolved.
Chapter 5: Trust and Empathy — The Foundation of Meaningful Business
Subheadings:
Trust as the Greatest Currency
Empathy in Action: Listening Beyond Words
Risk, Vulnerability, and Reciprocal Success
Quote suggestion:
"Sometimes we don't even give advice. We just listen and give an ear when people need us most."
Action Step:
Empathy journaling exercise: Practise active listening in professional settings.
Chapter 6: Redefining Personal Success — Who Knows You?
Subheadings:
Moving from ‘Who You Know’ to ‘Who Knows You’
Curating a 21st-Century Personal Brand
The Perils and Power of Digital Footprints
Strategic Visibility: Making Your Impact Count
Quote suggestion:
"You are not who you think you are in business — you are who your Google reviews say you are."
Visual Aid:
Personal brand “ecosystem” map (digital presence, references, and real-world interactions).
Chapter 7: The Resilience Blueprint — Confidence, Failure, and Continuous Growth
Subheadings:
Confidence: Earned, Not Learnt
The Gift of Failure and Feedback
Imposter Syndrome and the Comparison Trap
The Myth of Overnight Success
Quote suggestion:
"Winning's easy. You find out what you're made of in defeat."
Interactive Element:
Reflection questions on personal setbacks and lessons learnt.
Chapter 8: Empowering the Next Generation — Critical Thinking Beyond Academia
Subheadings:
Teaching How to Think, Not What to Think
Acknowledging and Overcoming Self-Doubt
Life Skills Not Found in Textbooks
The Importance of Real Relationships for Youth
Real-Life Example:
Working with students to develop critical thinking, self-awareness, and practical communication through real-life mentorship.
Action Step:
Prompt for educators and parents: Create environments where young people can fail safely and learn.
Chapter 9: Cultivating Quality Relationships — Less is More
Subheadings:
The Value of a Few Deep Connections
Navigating Givers, Takers, and True Partners
Maintaining Essentialism in Professional and Personal Circles
Nurturing Community Locally and Digitally
Quote suggestion:
"For a garden to grow, you have to pull the weeds. It's okay to only have a handful of really deep, rich, meaningful relationships."
Chapter 10: Inclusion, Contribution, and Leaving a Legacy
Subheadings:
Hyperlocal Impact: Making a Difference Where You Are
Empowering Others: From Scarcity to Abundance
Building a Legacy through Service and Example
Fostering a Culture of Belonging and Growth
Quote suggestion:
"If we can leave it a little bit better than we found it, that's what matters most."
Action Step:
Community challenge: Identify one way to contribute locally this month.
Conclusion: From Textbook to Triumph — Your Next Steps
Summary: Recap the journey from necessity-driven change to a philosophy of authentic, reciprocal relationships and meaningful impact.
Call to Action:
Encourage readers to implement relational, human-centric strategies in their own lives and to share their progress in building more inclusive, resilient communities.
Supplementary Content Suggestions
Charts/Diagrams:
Goose & Golden Egg networking model, Timeline of business communication tools, Personal branding ecosystem map.
Exercises/Reflections:
End-of-chapter reflection questions, empathy journal prompts, relationship mapping activities.
Case Studies:
Expanded anecdotes drawn from real-life business transitions, youth mentoring sessions, and community building experiences.
Title Suggestions
From Textbook to Triumph: The Human Edge in a Digital World
Beyond the Golden Egg: Building Genuine Relationships for Lasting Success
Relationship First: Redefining Success in Business and Life
The Contrarian’s Blueprint: Navigating Change through Connection and Authenticity
Chapter Summaries
Introduction:
Introduces the core belief that genuine success lies in relationships and resilient adaptation, not simply following conventional wisdom.
Chapter 1:
Explores how crisis and necessity force innovation by breaking traditional moulds.
Chapter 2:
Introduces the Goose and Golden Egg metaphor to frame a new relationship-marketing approach.
Chapter 3:
Argues for an altruistic, long-term relationship-building philosophy over transactional exchanges.
Chapter 4:
Examines the rise of technology and AI, and the irreplaceable value of empathy and human contact.
Chapter 5:
Establishes trust and empathy as cornerstones for any successful, sustainable endeavour.
Chapter 6:
Shifts the paradigm from networking to visibility, curating a proactive and intentional personal brand.
Chapter 7:
Delves into the formative role of setbacks and failure in building authentic confidence and resilience.
Chapter 8:
Focuses on equipping the next generation with critical soft skills — with stories from real classroom and mentoring experiences.
Chapter 9:
Makes the case for the essentialism of quality over quantity in relationships, both for productivity and fulfilment.
Chapter 10:
Reframes service and legacy, sharing a vision of positive, hyperlocal impact and a culture of authentic inclusion.
Conclusion:
Invites the reader to adopt these perspectives and action steps to build a life and community where everyone can thrive.
Review and Refinement
Finalise the outline for reader flow, coherence, and practical application; incorporate feedback from target readers and inclusion specialists where necessary before proceeding to manuscript development.
Maxims to live by…
Maxims for Growth, Inclusion, and Reciprocal Success
Nurture Relationships, Not Just Results
Cultivate meaningful connections and focus on people, not transactions. Authentic relationships yield mutual flourishing.Prioritise Empathy Over Efficiency
Listen, understand, and be present. Human connection and empathy cannot be replaced by technology.Embrace Adaptability
Be open to new tools, ideas, and approaches. Adapt or risk obsolescence; flexibility is the mark of ongoing relevance.Invest in Who Knows You
Consciously develop your personal brand. It’s not only about your network, but the impression you leave on others.Reciprocate Without Expectation
Give generously. Help others without seeking a direct return; goodwill multiplies organically.Celebrate Learning from Failure
Confidence emerges from experience, not comfort. Embrace setbacks as vital feedback—resilience is built, not bestowed.Choose Depth Over Breadth
A handful of strong, meaningful relationships outweighs a multitude of shallow ones.Stay Curious and Contrarian
Question the status quo. Sometimes, the best path is the unbeaten one if it aligns with your values.Be Selective with Influence
Let information and community bring you joy and insight, not negativity. Prune what no longer serves your growth.Model and Demand Authenticity
People’s ability to detect insincerity is stronger than ever. Let truth and intention underpin your actions.Leverage Technology Purposefully
Embrace advances to enhance your life, but remain anchored in the human elements irreplaceable by machines.Be Patient with Progress
All good things come with time and persistence. Eschew the urge for shortcuts; sustainable growth is incremental.Empower Others, Especially the Next Generation
Share wisdom, foster self-belief, and create learning spaces where failure is safe and growth possible.Let Go of Perfection
Imposter syndrome is fuelled by unrealistic comparison. Focus on your journey and allow yourself—and others—to grow imperfectly.Communicate Beyond The Screen
Prioritise eyeball-to-eyeball connections where possible; the richest elements of trust and empathy develop in person.Find Purpose in Service
Strive to leave every space, relationship, or community better than you found it. Purpose is found not only in achievement but contribution.Balance Giving and Receiving
Seek symbiosis in your connections—value shared is value multiplied.Filter Your Inputs Mindfully
You are not obliged to consume every message or nurture every connection. Curate your influences for wellness and growth.Understand the Power of Consistency
Brands, reputations, and trust are built in the small, daily acts of integrity.Never Stop Learning
Critical thinking, curiosity, and personal development are lifelong endeavours. The world changes; continue growing alongside it.
Extended YouTube Description
YouTube Video Description:
From Textbook to Triumph | Relationship Marketing, Personal Branding & Youth Empowerment | Inclusion Bites #186
Unlock the secrets of genuine relationship marketing, authentic personal branding, and discover how to transform textbook knowledge into real-world triumph in Episode 186 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast. Join host Joanne Lockwood as she welcomes visionary entrepreneur and bestselling author Scott Grates for a dynamic, thought-provoking conversation designed for HR leaders, diversity activists, educators, and anyone passionate about building inclusive, high-performing cultures.
⏰ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Introduction: The Power of Inclusive Conversations
01:14 – Meet Scott Grates: Vision, Challenges & Location
07:04 – Unlocking Relationship Marketing in Business
11:53 – Golden Eggs & Geese: The New Networking Approach
16:10 – Embracing and Leveraging AI for Efficiency
19:11 – Human Touch vs. Technology: Building Trust
22:15 – Empathy and Trust in Modern Relationship Building
26:41 – The Evolution of Personal Branding in the Digital Age
32:25 – AI as a Collaborative Partner, Not a Replacement
36:24 – Peer Review, Critique, and Thought Leadership Online
40:29 – Confidence, Failure & Building Resilience in Young People
46:23 – The Confidence Crisis: Social Media & Youth Wellbeing
50:01 – Fostering Meaningful Relationships in a Digital World
57:30 – Final Takeaways & Connect with Scott Grates
59:22 – Closing Thoughts & Next Steps
DESCRIPTION
Are you ready to move beyond outdated networking and impersonal marketing tactics? In this episode, Joanne Lockwood sits down with Scott Grates to reveal the mindset, strategies, and heart behind true success—whether in business, education, or personal growth.
Key Topics Covered:
Relationship Marketing vs. Transactional Selling: Learn why deep, reciprocal relationships are more valuable than mere transactions, and how focusing on the “geese” (people who lay golden eggs) can fuel long-term growth and resilience in any economic climate.
Building a Personal Brand in the Digital Era: Discover actionable tips for cultivating a reputation that resonates with your community and audience, and why “who knows you” is now more important than just “who you know”.
Embracing AI as an Empowering Tool: Unpack how AI can amplify your productivity, expedite content creation, and, when paired with empathy, elevate your human-to-human connections—without losing authenticity.
Empathy, Trust, & Authenticity in Modern Business: Understand why empathy can’t be automated, why trust is both fragile and foundational, and how these qualities differentiate great leaders and organisations.
Empowering the Next Generation: Delve into the practicalities of preparing young people for real-world success—building grit, overcoming self-doubt (imposter syndrome), and creating environments where failure is redefined as a step towards confidence and growth.
Overcoming Social Media’s Challenges: Address the confidence crisis in youth, tackle the comparison trap, and discover how to guide the younger generation beyond asynchronous, transactional digital relationships to foster genuine belonging and inclusion.
Target Audience Benefits:
If you’re seeking to build lasting professional relationships, craft a standout personal brand, drive inclusion and belonging in your organisation, or support young people in developing resilience, this episode delivers practical tools and inspiration. Gain the knowledge to enhance daily interactions and long-term strategic impact—whether you're a business leader, HR professional, inclusion advocate, educator, or aspiring entrepreneur.
CALL TO ACTION
👍 If you enjoyed this episode, like and subscribe for more inspirational conversations that drive real change in the world of inclusion and personal development.
💬 Drop your thoughts or questions in the comments below—what’s your biggest takeaway?
🔗 Visit seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen for more episodes and free resources.
📧 Want to connect or be a guest? Email Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
➡️ Watch more episodes to advance your journey towards authentic inclusion and positive people experiences.
Relevant Hashtags:
#InclusionBites #RelationshipMarketing #PersonalBranding #EmpathyInBusiness #DiversityandInclusion #YouthEmpowerment #AuthenticLeadership #AIandHumans #BelongingAtWork #SelfDevelopment #Podcast #ScottGrates #JoanneLockwood
Empower yourself and others—one inclusive insight at a time!
Substack Post
From Textbook to Triumph: Unlearning Old Norms and Building Relationships That Last
Have you ever wondered why traditional approaches to relationship-building in business feel so transactional—and why, despite our best intentions, so many employees still feel disconnected or out on a limb? As HR professionals and inclusion advocates, we know that fostering genuine belonging isn’t about ticking boxes or swapping business cards; it’s about transforming how we connect, communicate, and cultivate trust.
This week on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, I had the privilege of deep-diving into just this challenge with entrepreneur and best-selling author Scott Grates, in an episode titled "From Textbook to Triumph." If you’re looking for fresh thinking on moving beyond formulas to real, reciprocal relationships—whether in the boardroom or the classroom—this conversation is for you.
Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever
In this episode, Scott and I explore the seismic shifts transforming how we connect in today’s digitised, fast-moving world. From small towns in upstate New York to the global reach of LinkedIn and AI, we examine what it truly means to nurture sustainable, meaningful rapport—both as business leaders and as mentors to the next generation.
We address questions that are front of mind for leaders across HR, Diversity & Inclusion, Talent Acquisition, and Learning & Development:
Is the old way of networking fit for purpose in an AI-driven era?
How can HR teams empower staff to feel they truly belong, rather than just being a number?
What lessons can we learn from difficult times—be it redundancy, career pivots, or imposter syndrome?
Scott, with his unique take as a relationship marketing expert, brings both thought-provoking principles and practical stories. He opens up about building his business after redundancy, his contrarian view on networking, and his work guiding young people to develop emotional resilience and self-awareness—skills too often left out of the curriculum.
Lessons From a Goose, Not Just the Golden Egg
Here’s a flavour of what we unpacked together:
A Fresh Approach to Business Relationships
Scott pushes us to move past the relentless pursuit of the ‘golden egg’—that next client, customer or quick win—and instead focus on nurturing the ‘geese’ who lay those eggs: the colleagues, community partners, and clients whose trust, loyalty and advocacy drive sustainable success.
Embracing Change in a Digital Age
As artificial intelligence rapidly transforms what’s possible in business, Scott challenges us to ask: can we automate empathy and connection? Or is real inclusion rooted in the nuanced, human moments that machines can’t replicate?
Teaching, Not Telling: The Next Generation's Toolkit
Much of our conversation centres on education—formal and informal—and how young people can learn not just what to think, but how to think. Scott shares candidly about overcoming self-doubt, embracing failure, and ensuring students develop the emotional intelligence necessary for both life and leadership.
Seeds to Sow: Actionable Ways to Build Inclusive Cultures
For those looking to move from good intentions to practical change, here are my top takeaways from this rich conversation:
See Beyond the Transaction
Stop chasing numbers. Instead, ask: who are the ‘geese’ in your network? Invest in reciprocal, value-driven relationships rather than quick exchanges. Strong DEI outcomes start with authentic human connection.Leverage the Tools, Don't Lose the Human Touch
Use AI and digital tools to amplify your impact, not to replace empathy and critical thinking. Challenge your team to blend technological efficiency with authentic care—people remember how you made them feel, not how fast you replied.Foster Emotional Resilience and Self-Awareness
Whether through coaching, mentoring, or peer support, make space for conversations about failure, doubt, and growth. Encourage staff and students alike to reframe setbacks as feedback and to celebrate ‘earned confidence’—learning from mistakes rather than fearing them.Nurture a Culture of Giving—Without Expectation
Pay it forward with no strings attached. As Scott and I discussed, the givers’ gain model works best when it’s authentic. Altruism and trust are the real currency of belonging.Build Your Personal Brand with Intention and Integrity
Remember, it’s not just who you know—but who knows you, and what reputation precedes you. Operate with transparency and empathy, curating your digital presence to reflect your inclusive values. And teach future leaders to do the same.
A Taste of the Journey: Watch the Audiogram
Curious about how these ideas translate in real-time dialogue? I’ve included a 1-minute video audiogram that captures a pivotal moment from my chat with Scott—a window into the kind of energetic, honest exchange you’ll find throughout the episode. Take a minute to watch and let it spark your own thinking!
Ready for the Whole Story?
There’s so much more to explore about relationship-driven inclusion—from debunking the toxic myth that “winning is easy” to strategies for supporting Gen Z to flourish in a world where comparison is a thief of joy.
I invite you to listen to the entire episode:
🎧 Listen to From Textbook to Triumph
As always, please do share the episode with your colleagues—be they in HR, L&D, recruitment, or the C-suite. Only by spreading these conversations can we shift from surface-level intentions to deep, systemic belonging.
What If We Put Relationships at the Heart of DEI?
Before you go, ask yourself: what could your workplace look like if you truly invested time and heart into building reciprocal, honest relationships—one conversation at a time?
How might this shift the narrative from mere “inclusion” to genuine, lived belonging?
Let’s keep sowing the seeds for change—one bold conversation, and one authentic connection, at a time.
Stay curious, stay courageous, and let’s show the world that inclusion is so much more than a policy—it’s a practice.
With warmth,
Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen
Find more conversations, resources, and upcoming event details at seechangehappen.co.uk.
Questions? Thoughts? I’d love to hear from you at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
What small step will you take this week to nurture real relationships at work?
1st Person Narrative Content
From Textbook to Triumph: Lessons in Connection, Failure, and Building an Authentic Life
“If the golden egg is a prospect, a potential customer, I can spend tonnes of money trying to get all the golden eggs I can in traditional ways like everyone else… or I can go deep with the geese who lay the golden eggs each day.”
That line from my conversation with Joanne Lockwood still rings in my ears. The truth is, whether you’re building a business, a movement, or a life worth living, it’s never really about the quick win or the next shiny object. It’s about relationships—nurturing the right ones with intention, humility, and a lot of patience. When you genuinely care for others, invest in the community, and show up without expectation, the returns—financial, emotional, and reputational—compound in ways you can’t spreadsheet.
That’s what we dug into on Inclusion Bites. And it’s why the story that began as a discussion about “relationship marketing” quickly morphed into something more vulnerable and vital: how we confront failure, embrace our own development, and support the next generation to do the same.
Why This Matters to Me
For years, I’ve worn the labels: driven entrepreneur, best-selling author, community builder. I’ve also worn the less glamorous badges: self-doubter, late bloomer, father who nearly missed the joy for the grind. The world tells us success is about following a well-trod path: do well at school, get the right title, keep your head down, and aim for certainty.
But anyone who’s built anything meaningful knows the real story is messier. It’s less “top of the class” and more about resilience, experimentation, and trusting that the right relationships—internal and external—will support you when the market (or life itself) throws you an unforeseen curveball.
Helping the next generation see this, guiding clients and teams to trust the process, and demystifying what it really takes to thrive beyond the textbook—that’s become my mission.
Inclusion Bites and Joanne Lockwood: A Community for Challenging Conversation
Joanne Lockwood’s Inclusion Bites podcast has become a genuine sanctuary for boundary-pushing discussions about inclusion, belonging, and societal change. She brings an authenticity that’s rare in an age of surface-level “D&I” chatter. As founder of SEE Change Happen, Joanne’s work is grounded in lived experience, real vulnerability, and relentless curiosity. She doesn’t merely host guests; she forges connections that challenge and inspire.
More than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.
The Value of Staying in Your Lane—And Knowing When to Pivot
One of the most profound shifts in my thinking over the years has been accepting that I don’t need to have all the answers. Early in my career, I felt compelled to weigh in on every topic, to appear competent and in control no matter the reality underneath. There’s a certain cultural script in business—especially in risk-driven fields like insurance and finance—that discourages vulnerability. If you don’t know, act as though you do.
But time (and humility) have taught me otherwise. Joanne’s phrase “stay in your own lane” resonated with both of us, but we also both acknowledged the importance of stepping beyond those boundaries from time to time, if only to challenge stale thinking. The crucial distinction is knowing the difference: when to stand firm in your expertise, and when to admit, “That’s out of my depth, and that’s okay.”
As I told Joanne, “Now I’m comfortable with the ‘I don’t know’. The older I get, the more comfortable I am knowing what I know and staying in my lane.” It’s a lesson for leaders at every level—integrity beats bravado, and real strength comes from discernment, not omniscience.
“Who Are the Geese?”: Relationship Marketing in a Digitally Disrupted World
When I started my first business—no cash, two newborns, fresh off redundancy from the 2008 meltdown—I was forced to get scrappy. Traditional advertising was out. So I did what felt almost radical: I doubled down on relationships. I asked myself, “Who are the people already doing business with my dream clients? Who do they trust?”
Rather than invest in mass marketing to chase “golden eggs,” I decided to nurture the geese—small business owners, school officials, service organisations, my star customers, and eventually, a carefully cultivated network online.
Joanne and I found pockets of shared history here, recalling the era of printed brochures, franking machines, and the delicate ballet of BNI meetings. But what stood out most from this discussion was not nostalgia, but the timelessness of the underlying principle: human connection is irreplaceable.
Digital tools amplify reach, no doubt, but they can never substitute the sincerity of “eyeball to eyeball.” As I put it during our talk: “In this digitally dominated world, what was once old is new again. The power of loving on people—AI can’t replace that.” Joanne added her own spin on relationship-driven growth, emphasising the importance of giving authentically and trusting that the ecosystem (not necessarily the recipient) will return the energy in time.
If you lead people, manage accounts, or serve a community, pause and ask: are you chasing the eggs—or nurturing the geese?
AI, Adaptation, and the Enduring Edge of Humanness
As much as I’ve built my business on relationships, I’d be naïve to ignore technology’s role in rewriting the business playbook. Joanne and I had a lively exchange about the accelerating impact of AI, recalling the sudden obsolescence of Blockbuster and the inexorable march of software that now writes our websites, drafts our pitches, and analyses our markets in minutes.
But what kept surfacing was not anxiety, but adaptation.
“I’m embracing AI every day,” I said, “but as a tool. The people who’ll be replaced aren’t those using AI; it’ll be the ones refusing to adapt.” Joanne painted the picture with even more urgency: “The latest GPT and Canva updates are existential to swathes of industries.”
Yet for all the disruption, I remain convinced there will always be a premium on relationships. If tomorrow’s restaurant is run by robots, there will still be a market for a human waiter, for the small acts of empathy and recognition that no machine can replicate. AI doesn’t ask, “How’s your mum?” AI doesn’t listen when you confess you’re scared about your future, your retirement, or your business falling apart.
So, yes, we both use AI (even to draft parts of this piece, if I’m honest). The difference between leaders who thrive and those who perish isn’t the tool—they’re the same for everyone—it’s the perspective and creativity you bring to their usage. Control the technology; don’t let it control you.
Trust, Empathy, and the Fragility of Reputation
There’s a phrase I return to often: “Trust is hard fought but lost in an instant.” Especially in my world—risk management, financial advice, protecting assets and livelihoods—people don’t buy products, they buy trust. AI might be able to copy a strategy, but it cannot build the sort of empathetic relationship that guides someone through crisis, or calms a panicked client at midnight.
Joanne was sharp on this as well: “Do I trust ChatGPT with my family, my home, my car? No. Do I trust a human? Maybe not at first, but I can ask questions, I can check references, I can look them in the eye.” We agreed that while digital assistants might enhance our efficiency, authentic relationships built on empathy still underpin the most important decisions people make.
It’s not just about logic and data. It’s about “I hear you. I know what you’re going through.” In an era of mass personal branding and algorithmically curated personas, the leader—or the friend—who shows up authentically, listens deeply, and is willing to say “I don’t know, but I’ll help you figure it out” is irreplaceable.
The Power and Peril of Personal Brand in a Hyperconnected Age
We both agreed: it’s no longer about what you know, or even who you know. It’s who knows you—and, critically, what do they say about you when you’re not in the room? Your Google reviews, your LinkedIn recommendations, the unfiltered word of mouth cascading through networks that can be global in a heartbeat.
Joanne shared her journey from LinkedIn “stalker” to recognised thought leader—stepping from anonymity to engagement, then to authorship of opinion pieces that get quoted and debated by others. What struck me was her intentionality: “I want to leave a room with 50 people knowing who I am, even if I don’t know any of them.” That’s the crux of building a meaningful reputation at scale.
But there’s a shadow to this. Every post, every comment, every casual like is a fingerprint on your permanent record. I see this acutely when mentoring young people: their digital brand can unlock unprecedented opportunity—but a single misjudged post can haunt them for years. My advice to students is to cultivate self-awareness: “How do you want to be seen? What’s your digital North Star?”
As business leaders, the same holds. The deeper your relationships, the more intentional you must be with everything you associate your name with—online and off.
Building Confidence and Grit: Lessons We Should Teach (but Rarely Do)
If there’s one thing I wish had been in my schoolbooks, it’s this: Confidence isn’t learned. It’s earned. Real confidence is the residue of action—of taking risks, failing, standing up again, and realising that the world didn’t end.
In my youth, I was plagued by self-doubt, fuelled in part by the high expectations of a loving but demanding father. For years, I internalised the idea that unless I was perfect, I wasn’t worthy. There are countless high-achieving adults who carry the scars of a similar journey, still battling issues of self-worth tied to someone else’s script.
Joanne framed a hard truth: “Maybe that’s the problem. We’re trying to fast track our younger generation to have resilience without letting them earn it the hard way. We have to let them fail a bit. We’re not creating environments where they can.”
If you oversee teams—or, God help you, teenagers—you know the temptation to preempt pain. But real growth demands the opposite: empowerment with support, not protection from adversity. As I tell students, “You’re always going to have self-doubt, an inner critic, a sense you don’t belong. It’s standard equipment in the human brain. The trick is not to eliminate these voices but to acknowledge them, prove them wrong with action, and silence them in the moment.”
Winning is easy—character is forged in defeat. That lesson might not be in the syllabus, but it’s the one every entrepreneur and leader worth their salt learns sooner or later, scar by scar.
The Microwave Society: Why Slowing Down Is a Radical Act
We are breeding impatience. I see it in my own kids, in the start-up “move fast and break things” culture, in the “viral today, forgotten tomorrow” rhythms of social media. I call it the “microwave society”—the expectation of instant results.
But here’s the counterintuitive truth: all good things take time. Building a reputation, discovering your unique value, creating an authentic network—none of these can be hacked or rushed. Every overnight success I’ve met was years in the making, invisible work, discipline in the face of setbacks, hundreds of doors closed before the breakthrough.
As a parent and a leader, I have to fight the urge to “protect” by smoothing every path. Sometimes the most loving act is to step back, let them stumble, and be there to help unpack the lesson afterwards.
If you’re racing now—through a career pivot, a scaling phase, a personal reinvention—ask: are you creating space for the inevitable detours? Are you building the stamina to keep climbing long after the hacks have run out?
Digital Loneliness, Genuine Belonging, and the New Community
We closed our dialogue circling one urgent challenge: in a world supposedly hyper-connected, we are facing a staggering crisis of loneliness and surface-level relationships. Young people may have thousands of “friends”, but when asked who would show up for them after a failure or tragedy, the numbers dwindle to a handful—or fewer.
Joanne put it plainly, reminiscing about the Facebook era: “You might have a thousand friends, but if you ran into them at a shop, would any say hi? Are they really friends?”
What we both agreed on is this: the single greatest asset you will ever cultivate is a set of real, mutual relationships—built on empathy, challenge, and radical honesty. These are not just business contacts or transactional allies, but the small circle who’ll critique you in private, champion you in public, and turn up even when you fall short.
If you’re in leadership, create these environments. If you’re an emerging professional, value depth over breadth. Less is more, in business and in life.
The Punchline: Scarred, Not Scared
Looking back, the phrase that keeps surfacing isn’t about triumph, or even skill. It’s about scars. I’m proud of mine—not because I fetishise suffering, but because they’re proof of resilience, curiosity, and a willingness to try again.
If you take anything from this conversation, let it be this: Trusted relationships—nurtured patiently and authentically—are the real force multipliers. They outlive technology, bypass credentials, and sustain you in the moments when every plan falls apart.
Go deep with your geese, not wide with your eggs. Become the kind of person that the right people know, remember, and recommend long after the transaction.
And if there was ever a reason to step out from behind the textbook and take a shot, it’s not for the trophy, but for the confidence and connection you earn when you do.
I hope you’ll join the conversation. As ever, I’m listening.
Song Lyrics from Episode
Title
Golden Geese
Synopsis
Inspired by Episode 186, “From Textbook to Triumph,” this heartfelt indie acoustic anthem celebrates the power of authentic relationships, resilience after failure, and finding your worth beyond algorithms and comparisons. Blending vulnerable storytelling with grounded optimism, it champions empathy and connection in an ever-digital world. With warm guitar and female vocals, its steady uplift reminds you that true success is always about the people.
Vibe
Soft indie pop/country-acoustic blend. Warm guitar, atmospheric pads, steady percussion. Gentle, emotional verses; each chorus lifts with hope and confidence. Female lead vocal. Music builds with soul and resolve, always compassionate, never coy.
Lyrics
Verse 1
There was no silver spoon, just empty hands,
Two babies crying, running out of plans.
Lost my title on a Monday, doors closing in,
But faith found me at the edge, said, “Let’s begin.”
Verse 2
The world sells golden eggs, everyone keeps score,
But you taught me to seek the geese, not just the store.
Value poured with no return, authentic and free,
In a room full of noise, that’s home for me.
Chorus
Hold close the ones who see you clear,
When trust is earned and doubt draws near.
It’s not just what you know, or who —
It’s who knows your heart, believes it’s true.
Let empathy lead us, the old ways shine,
Real connection stands the test of time.
Verse 3
Fast lanes, flashing screens, algorithms on the rise,
Chasing the highlight reels, forgetting real lives.
But eyes meet eyes, and kindness wins,
Let’s fail, let’s learn, let true begin.
Bridge
Scarred but standing, with stories to show,
No elevators up, just stairs we all climb slow.
Let the courage flow through cracks and falls,
Grit is grown in silence, not in broadcast halls.
Final Chorus (Lifted)
Hold close the ones who call your name,
When setbacks come, and you’re tired of the game.
Not just what you know, or who —
It’s who knows you deep, and walks you through.
So let’s light the spark, let kindness reign,
Real connection is our golden flame.
Song Lyrics from Episode
[Title
Geese and Golden Eggs]
[Synopsis
Episode 186 — “From Textbook to Triumph” inspires this honest, empowering indie-pop ballad about building trust and belonging in a disconnected, fast-paced world. Drawing from conversations on resilience, human connection, and authentic growth beyond surface accolades, it encourages listeners to slow down, nurture the “geese” in their lives, and embrace failure as a path to real confidence. Acoustic warmth, evocative female vocals, grounded and uplifting.]
[Vibe
Warm and driving acoustic guitar as the backbone, layered with gentle piano, airy atmospheric pads, understated percussion (snare brushes, kick), subtle pedal steel or slide guitar for indie/country flavour. Verses intimate and conversational, building to an anthemic, bright chorus. Bridge strips back to just guitar and vocal before a final soaring chorus and soft instrumental fade-out. For live/recorded: female lead vocal, harmonies in the chorus.]
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
I spent years chasing golden eggs,
Blind to the geese right next to me.
Built castles out of busy hands,
Lost the meaning in the need to be seen.
Fast cars, fast talk — city lights in my eyes,
But the mountains call me home every time.
[Instrumental break: Acoustic picking with a gentle piano fill]
[Verse 2]
Once I measured worth in numbers,
Put my face in every frantic crowd.
Now I’m learning it’s the neighbours,
The little moments — not the big and loud.
Throw away the ladder; love the climb,
Risk and failure draw the bravest lines.
[Pre-Chorus]
It’s easy to be lonely in a room full of cheers,
Easy to break when you never show your fears.
But trust is a garden and a scar is a sign —
We earn what we keep, and we heal in our time.
[Chorus]
Let’s go slow,
Find the ones who stay when seasons change.
Plant seeds of hope
In the cracks, beyond the frame.
We’re more than headline winners,
More than easy praise —
I want the geese, not just the golden eggs.
[Instrumental section: Atmospheric pads swell, percussion builds slightly]
[Verse 3]
Give without keeping tally,
Empathy is currency here.
Don’t need to be in every spotlight,
Just want a table where I’m known and I hear.
Let the old wounds teach us how to dance —
No shortcut to courage, real love takes chance.
[Bridge]
Fast forward world, don’t rush your heart,
Truth needs space to start.
If you’re left out or shaken,
I’ll sit in the silence till you’re ready to try.
[Chorus (Lifted)]
Let’s go slow,
Find the light that no app can fake.
Raise up the ones
Who build with every honest mistake.
We’re more than highlight stories,
More than numbers or the chase —
Cherish the geese,
Not just the golden eggs.
[Instrumental/vocal outro: (“Cherish the geese…” repeats softly, gentle guitar and harmonies fade out)]
[Fade out: Pads, ambient guitar, vocals trailing away — “Not just the golden eggs…”]
Made with Castmagic
Turn any recording into a page like this.
Upload audio or video — interviews, podcasts, sales calls, lectures. Get a transcript, summary, key takeaways, and social-ready clips in minutes.
Google
Apple
Or learn more about Castmagic first.
Magic Chat
Try asking