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The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Healing Through Human Connection
Speaker
Silvia Causo
Speaker
Joanne Lockwood
Speaker
Adrianne Arendse
Joanne Lockwood hosts a profound dialogue with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong. They explore healing and growth through human connection, trauma, and inclusion, weaving personal histories and collective empathy into transformative ways to foster belonging and societal change.
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Highlights
“Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change.”
“Embracing Deeply Mixed Heritage "I realised that I'm very mixed race and I'm South African and when I say very mixed race. Normally when you say mixed race people think a white or Caucasian and you know, another race. But in my case I say very mixed because my ethnicity is very mixed. So I, I have a, I have a grandmother from Mozambique, another one from somewhere in India, a grandfather from Malaysia and another grandfather from, from Holland. So it's, it's a real, a really deep mix.”
“Broadening Perspectives in Education: "One of the things I realised is the students weren't exposed to other perspectives outside of the Western one. And it just, I realised that there was potential in them that wasn't being realised. Because of that the experience of the world was, was getting smaller.”
“I realised that I was, was modelling what my mother did to me, which I never wanted to do with other people in my family.”
“I have that kind of skill of helping people to create and create a safe space for them to just look at the traumas and the blocks, emotional blocks and you have this ability of creating space and holding a conversation, very difficult conversations.”
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Full transcript
Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of inclusion, belonging and societal transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a world? Remember, everyone not only belongs, but thrives. You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo and share storeys that resonate deep within. Ready to dive in. Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect and inspire action together. Don't forget, you can be part of the conversation too.
Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your insights or to join me on the show. So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites.
And today is episode 201 with the title Healing Through Human Connection. And I have the absolute honour and privilege to welcome Silvia Causo & Adrianne Arendse. Sylvia and Adrianne are the co founders of Lead and Belong, creating gentle yet powerful spaces for leaders and teams to shift from mind centred approaches to truly human centred growth. When I asked Sylvia and Adrianne to describe their superpower, they said this is his piercing insight paired with calm, steady energy needed to hold challenging, transformative conversations. Hello, Sylvia. Hello, Adrianne. Welcome to the show.
Hello.
Hello.
Lovely to have you here. And I believe that you got in touch having listened to an episode I recorded with a show on Miller recently. So thank you for that.
It was a beautiful conversation and we were hooked and so we decided to come on the show.
Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you. And you have the honour of being my second time having a threesome on the podcast, actually, the first time where I've had my two guests in the same room together. Before I did it, they were in different rooms. You are the first pair to be on the screen together, so. Yeah, fantastic.
And I just realised that it's episode 201 which makes three again.
Yes.
Back to the magic number.
Oh, the magic number, yeah. 2 and 1 and 3. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, indeed. It's the 21st of November, so that doesn't count, does there's no threes in there. Oh, no. 201.
201, yeah, 201. There we are. Yeah, 201. 21. Wow. We've got the world is now converging on us. So where. Where are you in the world? I never know where my guests are these days.
It could be from anywhere.
We're in Port Levin in Cornwall.
Sounds idyllic. And Beautiful. Is that a fishing village or.
Yeah, it is. It's got a harbour and so forth. And of course it's winter now. Well, it's getting into winter, so it's about 7 degrees outside. Sunny but cold, you know, a little bit cold. Blue sky.
I took the dog for a walk this morning.
Part of the world.
Oh, shivering. It is. Is it near where the. The Fisherman's Friends films were filmed? Around that area? Is that that kind of.
Yeah, yeah. But those, those were film up and down the coast? I think so, yeah. I reckon they probably filmed some of it here. I mean, I say it's 7 degrees, apparently it feels like minus 2, according to the app on my phone. Does that mean we didn't go in the sea yesterday? No, it doesn't. We did go in the sea.
You went the. Oh, wow. You're 23, 365 swimmers, are you? Every day in the sea?
I don't know about every day, but certainly. And when I say going in the sea, I'm not talking about in a.
Wetsuit, you're talking about trunks.
Yes.
Yeah. I mean yesterday we were looking out of the window and it looked so stunning. Blue skies with in fact was three in the afternoon, so the sun was coming down, the light was golden and I said, looks like we are in the Caribbean and inside is fairly warm, so just let's go and see what it's like. And it was beautiful. Reinvigorating for sure.
What she's leaving out is that as soon as you step outside you realise it looks like the Caribbean.
It doesn't feel like it.
Not at all.
So is this a swim swim? Is it a paddle, is it just a dunk and back or are you hanging out there for an hour or so?
Yesterday it was a dunkin back. But normally you swim, I sink, so I don't actually swim. But you swim?
Yeah. And it was head in as well yesterday I really needed to refresh my mind because I had a very sleepless night and night before. So it was good for me in that sense. It just kept me going through the day.
Well, I'm very impressed as, as I hinted to know I've got a dog. Well, we've only had the dog about eight weeks, so we're still in this new puppy territory and getting up at early o' clock when, when she wants to go out for a. A wee and then having to take for a walk at 7 o'. Clock. I've got myself a big overcoat and, and snood and things now and it's makes it a bit more pleasant. But yeah, I'm. I'm now, I'm now experiencing weather that I. Probably most of my life I've avoided.
But yeah, it's something to be said about starting the day or clearing your head and going for a walk and having some fresh air or getting in a massive plungeful. Atlantic plungeful, I guess. Is it the Atlantic where you are?
Yeah. Yeah.
Wow. Fascinating. We want to talk about bias, trauma, human connection. Specialise in creating spaces where people can explore themselves deeply and honestly. So where did that come from? What was the spark and inspiration?
Well, about, let's see, about six years ago I was working at Falmouth University. I was teaching screenwriting and then a few things happened over a fairly short period. I realised that I'm very mixed race and I'm South African and when I say very mixed race. Normally when you say mixed race people think a white or Caucasian and you know, another race. But in my case I say very mixed because my ethnicity is very mixed. So I, I have a, I have a grandmother from Mozambique, another one from somewhere in India, a grandfather from Malaysia and another grandfather from, from Holland. So it's, it's a real, a really deep mix. And anyway, I realised in my situation, as always, sort of delivering these, these lectures, there was a whole lot of information.
The students were not available. It wasn't available to them, or at least it was available, but it wasn't showing up in the work. And if their work is to create something in the same way that when you're working with an AI or an LLM, garbage in, garbage out. So if you put really decent information in, interesting things come out and when you. When one of the things I realised is the students weren't exposed to other perspectives outside of the Western one. And it just, I realised that there was potential in them that wasn't being realised. Because of that the experience of the world was, was getting smaller. And I went on to co create a module called Belonging that ran in the fashion department at first the Fashion Textiles Institute and then I translated over to photography and to television, those modules, those courses.
And necessarily because I don't think there's that it's not, you know, it's not like I won wondering with some answers. You have to adapt to the context and that's sort of a theme of, of what I do. So that's sort of, that's some of how I got to where we are and I started doing some, some of that work with other universities. So the. Obviously I'VE got skin in the game because belonging is for me, it starts with me belonging to myself and then how that ripples outwards and it requires empathy obviously, because if I have a good sense of my belonging myself I can then start to find the limits of my empathy. And so. But before I become this becomes a TED Talk, why don't we turn over.
To me what was the question now? Why are we doing this? Personally, it's because life brought me here. Essentially my background is the coaching but also energetic work. And why I started to do this work is because a family member was very mentally ill with an eating disorder. So I was caught up in that, in, in that experience and at some point I realised that actually I was not helping anymore, I was injuring the recovery. So I had to look at myself and says what's going on here? Why we, you know, we're not making progress. So I started to look at my, at my behaviours and I realised that I was, was modelling what my mother did to me, which I never wanted to do with other people in my family. And I started to look at why I was doing that. I went into trauma and then I went to, into.
I had great self awareness and insight. I could see how I was isolating myself from the rest of the world because of this. And then, you know, to cut a long shorty with a thought, I went into training, started to do this work and realise how much we isolate ourselves from the rest of the world because we need to protect ourselves, ourselves. And then eventually while we're doing this together, because essentially we met on a dating app and we realised that, you know, in a conversation we had a lot in common. And then as we got together it felt like this is why we're here because I have that kind of skill of helping people to create and create a safe space for them to just look at the traumas and the blocks, emotional blocks and you have this ability of creating space and holding a conversation, very difficult conversations. And the title is Healing through Belonging if I remember well. And we are very much about collective healing. This is a collective experience.
We don't, we can't heal in isolation. We'll heal as we co regulate with each other.
I've heard many people say that you can't truly understand others until you understand yourself. And I always think you have to like yourself, you have to be aware of yourself before other people can like you. And well, so I think finding self is really important and I think what you're saying there Adrian, about having this huge depth of your ethnicity and your, your. I would imagine that you had to explore all of those different nuances mentioned. Your grandmothers come from, and grandfathers come from different continents and there's a whole range of people going back in time there and you must have had to explore that to really try and understand where you are in the world, is that right?
Yeah. And not just as a sort of cognitively and not just sort of looking at the sort of factual history. There are things, artefacts of that experience that are, that are squishy, you know, that live in a recipe that somebody held onto in a way of speaking in a. In, in various phrases. I mean, my, my father occasionally if he talks about going to the doctor, he'll say quacksalver, which sort of. That's his, his sort of Dutch, his, his fierce father's Dutch heritage coming through. And, and my mother passed away in April. She had her sort of linguistic sort of idiosyncrasies as well and those were carried from her mother and so on.
And her father died when she was two, so she didn't have a one to one relationship with him really. There's, there's all of those things. And of course, I don't know if you know anything about Cape Town, which is where I'm from, but there's an area of Cape Town that's quite, well, a storey from Cape Town about people, people being evicted from a specific area called District 6, which is. If you imagine the Table Mountain, the classic view of Table Mountain, it would have sat sort of nicely in the middle of the flat, not the flat bit, but in front of the flat. But because nobody lives on top of the mountain. But. So my parents hadn't met at the time, but they, their families were evicted from this very multicultural area during apartheid. And I, I mean, I grew up towards the bottom end of the apartheid regime and then on into the new South Africa.
So I left when I was 33. So I'd experienced some of that. So yeah, there's a lot of variation in flavour and a lot of spice in my ethnicity. But also, as I say, it's not just the fact, it's also a way of seeing the world and influences my relationships with time and all sorts of things. And it means, because I experienced that particular experience of being in South Africa at that time, you know, the way that I respond to various things is I could see how it was flavoured by that upbringing. For instance, there are probably a handful of times in my life that have walked up to a police officer because they are unsafe. Certainly the way I grew up, the police was unsafe. And so, yeah, there's a lot that's informed by my lived experience.
But I didn't stop there. I mean, I'm curious about my life, but I'm also curious about the world. And, and I, I, I to. To get back to sort of the belonging part. Belonging and love are linked. So if you can find ways to love yourself or discover ways of loving yourself, because I think that's sort of endless. It becomes easier to love beyond yourself.
Just. Sylvia, talk about belonging. Need and belong is the organisation. What is belonging thinking?
I was thinking, as you were asking a question to Adrian, why we're doing. Going back to why we're doing this work. Right. Because when we met, I always consider myself a very inclusive person, very equal, very diverse. Right. But was only when I was, you know, I started a biracial relationship, I realised that actually there were some emotions that were coming up for me. And of course, with my background is trauma and unconscious, you know, beliefs, everything started to bubble up. Oh, my God.
I actually, mentally, I know that I'm inclusion at the verse, but actually in my body I hold some experiences that are not quite aligned with the way I want to be. I want to show up. Yeah, I wasn't fully inclusive. I was. But really there was something that kind of needed to shift. And by the way, I'm on this journey, I haven't finished, you know, like, processing all of this. So in terms of belonging in our relationship, we cannot belong fully to each other or we cannot belong fully to each other unless. Until I move this.
And also what showed me that when I go in the world and I look at, you know, black and brown people, different, you know, races, I didn't see the trauma, the conditioning from the trauma they have experienced. And now I have a fuller understanding what it means to be, you know, someone not fully. Actually a better understanding to have a sense of what, what it's like for you, to be you. It's not just you as an individual, but you also belonging to that culture. So belonging is, to answer your question, is getting to know your. Also getting to know how others might experience you and the world.
It's really interesting what you're saying there about this awareness you've developed since meeting Adrianne around what racism is and feels like. Because I am a white person, my heritage is white and British. I see the world through my blinkers. I see the world through my lens. I don't know what it's like for you either. As A couple or as an individual. And it's not until sometimes you open those doors and actually listen to somebody who's going through that you truly understand. And it's not the big racist issues, it's the little.
Just the way people look at you, or I'm sure you find that people see you as a couple and there's a reaction to that as well. And there's an assumption that the other person's going to be the same ethnicity as you. Now I get it. Where people assume the person who is with me is going to be of a certain sex or gender or appearance. People are judgmental without being cruel or mean about it. They're just making assumptions, aren't they?
Absolutely. I mean, again, as I said, it was only when I actually, when we started a relationship, certainly things were coming up. But when we went to South Africa, when I was outside my environment, the white people were the minority in. In their community. So I said, oh, my God, this is how it feels not to be, you know, not to be. Not to feel safe in, you know, and feel that you truly belong in that space. And we had white people looking at us because biracial relationship, we had black and brown people doing that as well. And it was like, wow, this is for the.
Feels like when you're not feeling welcome. Although I did have my little flavour. Not feeling welcome with Brexit because I'm Italian, I've been in the UK for 25 years, so I did have a little flavour, but still there is. The whiteness makes me belong in. In a diff. You know, at the core I belong, even though I'm from. From another country. So, yeah, you just really.
When we met, I'll tell you this, Storey, we met on the app and the first opening line was, my question to Adrianne was, what is the best piece of advice that you. Someone has given you? And your reply was, it was, if.
You want to learn something, teach it.
And my reply to Adrianne was, yes, I agree, but I take it a little deeper. If you want to learn something, experience it and then teach it. And that is my mantra, right? Although, you know, journey is ongoing as human beings. But I teach the work that we do is because we experience it. We experience it. What it feels like to be in the room with people and to feel lonely that you don't belong because you don't belong to yourself in the first place. And this is why we're passionate about taking this stuff in the workplace, because how many people feel displaced in the workplace in places where they've been 20, 30, maybe 30 years working in that. And they just totally lost their soul in that place.
And it just becomes a mechanical activities that you do every day to survive.
Pick up on something you just said there, and I'm a quiet believer in this concept is that you said about being lonely. I truly believe you can be. There's a being alone and being lonely and you can be lonely in a room full of people and you can. And you can be connected even when you're on your own. I also think it's the same as being the difference between included and belonging, or inclusion and belonging. You can be included but not belong. And it's trying to. It's trying to elevate yourself from being unwelcome to hell.
Yeah, people accept me, I'm part of this. I get an invite. But when you arrive, do you belong? And that's. That's a different feeling as well, isn't it? How. It's almost like an upgrade where you go, actually, you've included me, but actually I'm part of this. This is me, this is who I am. This is everything resonates, everything feels comfortable here. And I think I always say lonely and alone, inclusion, belonging there.
They're different things we don't always think about.
I feel like belonging to. Is closer to a state of being than it is, you know, it's something you. You become aware of after it's happened or as it's happening. Not something you have to sort of prepare your mind for. You belong. It's.
It.
It becomes part of the fabric. It's the. It's the truth that emerges, rather than something you. You sort of create. And you can't perform it either, you know, in the same way you can't perform vulnerability. You know, you either vulnerable or you are.
Yeah, it's a bit like virginity. You either are or you are. You can't be a bit pregnant, can you?
No.
There's a distinction I make between knowledge and information and I use it to sort of, kind of situate my empathy in a way in that if. If I. I call knowledge information that I can contextualise in my lived experience. So I can talk about, you know, using a screwdriver, but I can't talk about having a child, you know, because I don't have the mechanics to be able to.
Yeah.
To be able to produce. Use a child and so many other things. And I normally do a much more visceral version of that metaphor, literal metaphor, as part of some of the things I deliver. Because it's sort of. I can sort of say, okay, well, that's information. I can be in the proximity of its own experience, but it's not my experience. You know, I can have space and time and care for it, but it's not my experience. And I can recognise that.
And I think it's very important because it can inform belonging, it can inform inclusion.
You know, I have something to add about that. And this is just literally insights coming through, as we have in this conversation. This is the beauty, isn't it, really? Travelling deep conversations that again, like you say, information. If I can't, if I don't have the experience, I can. It's kind of all information. And at the same time, one of the elements that we bring in the workplace is nervous system education and education about the emotions and becoming into, you know, get getting into coherence with the people around you. Because really, and this is part of the work that I do is energetic work, getting into coherence with someone's energetic field. And essentially the nervous system, we can really feel people, but we need to be present, fully present.
And again, going back to the beginning, you need to be fully present with yourself before you can be fully present with others. And when you. And when you practise and clear your blocks, emotional blocks, then you can become even more attuned with someone else's experience at a nervous system level, at an energetic level. And there was something else that I wanted to add which is just disappear from my mind, that links all together. But anyway, I'll come back to it, go back to.
I mean, both of you can tackle this, you talk there about. So I can't understand your exact experience. I can hear you, I can get information about it, but I don't. So how can we build empathy through just having information? That's what we're trying to do here, isn't it?
I think so. One of the things I do, for instance, is I paint that information knowledge sort of line and it's a wiggly sort of organic line rather than a dead straight one. I find that helpful because it tells me that it helps me not centre myself in that conversation of the experience I don't have. And that sort of, kind of ironically helps me be more empathetic. And in a way I call it, also call it the line of the limits of some of my empathy so that I can understand. And I don't mean a limit, it's more like a milestone or a guide. It shows me this is where my body stops experiencing something. And this is where my mind and my heart can take me slightly further.
And knowing that is quite powerful for me because it means that I can say, okay, my experience of not belonging and your experience of not belonging are not going to be the same. But there's a flavour of overlap because not belonging has. There's some similarity. It's in the subjectivity that I always think of belonging as being highly subjective. So in terms of how we would deal with a client, for instance, I always think that the missing element in any definition of belonging is the client.
It.
Because I don't go. We don't go to them with. Prescribe how to. Or any of this thing. We go to discover what their context is and what it. And how you know. And my assumption is always that people will come to you with questions, have their own answers, and what we do is create space for them to realise their answers. We don't necessarily know the answers, but it's sort of let them emerge.
But yes, I think empathy, I mean, I guess it's helpful to sort of want to have a very lovely, squishy, wavy, slightly imprecise definition, not like a cold hard one of what we mean by empathy in a given context. So I mean, loosely speaking, I think, you know, we only have a sense that we have the same feeling of a feeling of what somebody else's experience is. And it's a feeling, not the feeling. And for me the goal is important. Is it empathy so that I can take the experience or is it empathy so that I can support the experience of somebody else so the other person is in the centre? I always think about that quite a lot.
Sorry, you're looking at me. I want to say something. Yeah. Before I forget, I'm having a right day with my memory today. But what I want you to say is. Oh, oh, no, it's come. It's gonna come back to me.
It's there. I can feel it floating in the area. Just gotta grab it, go grab it.
You just, you just go, Joe, you know, Joe. And just carry on.
Again, pick up some things that Adrianne saying there was around the. Again back to belonging. And you can't, you can't dictate belonging. You can't give belonging. You can't insist on it or even fix when it doesn't exist. It's, it's. It's that feeling you have in inherently within you that you know. And it, it's more than just one thing.
It's more than just the colour of the walls or the, the, the sofa you sit on. There's a whole vibe going on here and it's, it's very, you know, I think we said earlier, it's very binary. You either have it or you don't. And if you don't have it, there's not often, not much you can do to suddenly co. Create that. It. It has to evolve over time. And I, I imagined where you've both migrated to the uk, relocated from wherever you, you grew up, wherever you were educated, to this lovely little place in Cornwall.
And you had to find that belongingness together as well. And in your community and with your, your unique characteristics that come together, that. That must have been a huge, great learning exercise for both of you to find that. Wow. This place now feels safe, comfortable, and I can relax here. Mostly. I'm not saying absolutely, but mostly.
And what I want to say here is like, it's the same. You described it beautifully. We belong. Every single day, every single thing that we do is a choice. Almost like a choice. I belong. It's a choice that we make. You know, we have decided that we belong to this conversation.
Right. And I could sit, I could stay here and sit back and trying to be a bit more like, you know, in close with myself and, and you could belong to each other, but me not belonging. But we choose to all belong to this conversation. And that's beautiful. And what came up from it, it's like a, A choice that we do every day. It's a moving process because sometimes we feel like we think, oh, I need to. When we talk about, you need to belong to yourself before you belong to others. We feel like it's one trip and when we get to the stop, we got there.
No, it's actually a constant choosing of belonging. Every single time I need to choose that, you know, in this new relationship, there is another kind of sense of belonging. Like I say, another extended family because I have children. So it's again, we are a different group and we need to find our balance and what the belonging means. And belonging in a group means that I need to feel that I belong myself, but also I need to give something. So either people can feel that belong as well. So it was a very, very interesting process. But going back, I remember what I wanted to say about empathy and how we develop empathy because we can be, we can mentalize, we.
I can understand that you have a different opinion than mine, but that is different than feeling empathy. And my belief is if you develop empathy, if you work on your own traumas, because until I hold my traumas and my Boundaries to protect myself from what I perceive can be a danger. I cannot actually open my heart to others and I cannot immerse my. Immerse myself in their experience. So this is why in leadership in a workplace, the very linear thinking structures where everybody's compartment, you know, they're their own role and they just do it. And if they go step out of that role and uh, there might be, you know, they might lose the job, they might be criticised, you know, all of this, there is fear based, trauma based experiences, environments and I cannot belong if I'm constantly feeling under threat. So, yeah, empathy, again, it can be like you say, Adrian, it can be a mental. It's got to be an experienced experience.
Yeah, A lot of our work is actually from the neck down because a lot of speaking, the western sort of compulsion is to do everything cognitively to, to experience your emotions as a thought exercise, to not really feel them in your body, to, to experience them and, and seat them in your body. Your body becomes the unsafe place and you end up performing. So in the workplace, one of the ways I describe it is that people sort of park the identities at the door, you know, and that, I'm not saying that's unhealthy, but it becomes problematic because it's taking energy. What happens? The question is always what happens if you can have a choice about how much of yourself you bring to work and offer to the work? What happens to the work? What happens to the context in which you're working, the people you're working with? What happens to the organisation? I mean, there can be a lot of positive things and new challenges, but ultimately, I mean, one of the ways we put what we're doing is for people who want this. We would like to rehumanize the workplace and not let it be run so much by the linear, the logical, the spreadsheet, the outcome. But what happens if we treat it more like a garden that's being tended, you know, where we tend ourselves as well, where we offer things from who we are, offer who we are and that's. And that's appreciated in ways that remind us and make us feel like we belong as humans insofar as we want to. And this is the whole choice is very important.
In our approach. We use different. We work at several levels, right? We work on the mental because that's what people access essentially an emotional, also energetic level because they're all interlinked. If we can get an, an example, you like Usain, people leave themselves at the door when they step into work. And that takes a lot of energy. It takes a lot of energy to get yourself doing the things that you don't want to do even before you start doing the thing. There is a lot of energy, there's lots of resistance. But if you're aware and you say okay, I just.
And also what I wanted to bring in is a neuroscience type, you know, you know, aspect of it. The brain wants to save us, its job is to protect us, right? So if I'm bringing myself into work and I don't want to be there, the brain is not present with me because it's trying to make me avoid the feelings of, you know, the frustration and resentment. But if you have a choice, I'm gonna just bring 50% of myself into work and I leave my other 50%, you know, looked after, cared for at home, emotionally, metaphorically. Then the brain. Already you're giving a message to the brain that you're not in danger, you're just doing something for the time being, for eight hours and then off you go at home. So there is a lot and, and you need to meet the people where are at. Someone is very logical. You need to just enter through that door, through the logic and then slowly bring them, like you say, from their head into the body, down below the neck.
And this is why, like you say, Adrian, the missing experience and the miss. The missing ingredient is the client is the person is their friend that is talking to you. He's the neighbour.
Whatever contact you're in, pick up here is we're going back to the feelings, you know, as you say, below the neck. And what we often do in academia is we'll as you say, cerebral, it's above the neck and belonging, inclusion, psychological safety, trust, all of these kind of things are below the neck. They're feelings. Do I feel safe? Do I feel belonging? Do I feel respected? That is very subjective in the eyes, ears and feelings of the person who has it or not. And you say that's where the belonging kicks in. So you work with leaders. How do you move the leader from a cerebral logical solution here into an empathy thing? Because sometimes people see empathy and feelings as weakness. Especially when you're in certain academic or leadership models.
We will talk about the logic and we're learning stuff. But it's not that say it's the trauma, what's going on in people's lives, what they're feeling, their biases, the blind, everything that's going on, they're unpacking this, their fight, flight, fear mechanism, their vagus nerves going Crazy, pumping adrenaline, anxiety. All that stuff's going on, isn't it?
Well, one of the things that we, we made a choice about clients didn't. We chose not to try to convert somebody to wanting to work with us. We chose to focus on people who are looking to do, to make this shift, whether they have the language for it or not, put things out and sort of let them know that we exist so that they'll look at what we're offering and something will resonate with the direction they want to move in. So we're not trying to convert people. One sort of operating in this way to move in this direction. We were looking for people who already sort of are curious and, and curiosity then needs to be met with courage. As in they have to add courage to that and we have to be courageous as well to be able to persist in that. Because what we're doing is facilitation.
It's not, it's not therapy, it's not, it's not, it's definitely not giving people answers. It's, it's, it's creating space for them to assemble their own compass and then learn how to use their compass and to adjust it as they need to. But yes, I, it, it's, it's definitely their willingness, their employability, so to speak to that process of shifting from the one way of being to another that is, that's absolutely necessary because if somebody doesn't really want to do something, it's a, it's a battle for them and would be a battle for us as well.
From a nervous system perspective like you can't force anyone feel or do anything as, as a, as a, as a therapeutic coach. It's not going to happen because there is a protective mechanism that will kick into place. Especially with logical people like leaders. They, they experience numbness for a reason. That's why. Because they protect. It's a protective mechanism. So if someone doesn't, is not ready for, will not be triggered.
There are people that are very good, you know, like some aspects, some branches of NLP that can be very good at kind of pushing people towards a direction we definitely need not. You know, I'm not even trained in NLP whatsoever because I don't believe in that. I believe that safe space and awareness is what people need to be able to come up with their own answers. So if we are in the room because a leader might choose to say okay, let's do this work in our organisation, but there might be in someone else in the room who is not ready for it right, what we do, we bring gentleness. We, we do this very slowly, just like going to the gym. The first day you go to the gym, you just look at the gym, you don't touch anything. The second day you might be wearing, you know, the gym clothes. And then the third day you start picking up things.
This is a very gentle process and this is why we call it a trauma informed approach. Trauma informed is like belonging. It's not a mental thing, it's an attitude of the practitioner. You are, Adrian, are very good at holding the space in the group. I am very good at noticing the slight changes in someone, someone else, like even slight movement. When Adrianne says something, I can see what is that person has been triggered. And then, you know, not addressing individuals but in the room, we can talk about that, we can pause and talk about that because someone is experiencing it. Other people in the room will be experiencing it.
Because going back to the nervous system and the energetic fields, we are all connected. It's like when you, you in a room and someone enters the room and you feel, oh my God, I feel so uncomfortable now. What, what is it? Someone else come in with the nervous system dysregulated and every single one and every other person in the room is picking it up.
As you're both talking, I'm thinking here that the word courage came in earlier. What's also bouncing around my mind is that. But these are skills that not all of us possess. You know, certainly leaders don't possess all these skills. And radical empathy, even any empathy, is often not present. And I know leaders are. Leaders tend to be thinking about business objectives, getting reports out, hitting targets and numbers and feelings. And empathy can sometimes get in the way with that.
Almost like many HR departments I speak to, it's all around policy process, managing this, managing that. Do we put enough effort and training to develop leaders who are able to have the skill to engage with people at an emotional level, not just a logical level. You know, we think about, we've got our amygdala and our trigger part of our brain. We've got our prefrontal cortex. We need people to move into the prefrontal cortex, but also recognise that the feelings are buried deep in the, in the, in the back part of our brain, which is our reactive. Because sometimes as a leader we think, I don't want to open that box in case they react in a way that I can't handle. And that's what we talk about here. The trauma related experiences.
Getting into the hub of this. We need to Be brave enough to get into the feelings where there's no right answer.
It's all.
It's all nebulous shades of grey.
Well, there's certainly. Having worked in policy contexts a few times, I've realised that often policy is about protecting organisations, the organisation as an. Sort of a legal organism from these squishy spaces, these nebulous spaces. So you made for. I was. I was made redundant a few years ago and there's the process of the redundancy as. As I experienced it is the organisation making sure they follow the law rather than centering the person who is potentially being made redundant because the performance is that your redundancy is a possibility, but the reality is it's a certainty, you know, and so I have to, certainly with my. My race, my experience of lived experience of race.
I am very practised in living with paradoxes and contradictions because I have to. To survival imperative. So to see that. I can see that. And also my. I love Gabor Mate's definition of. Of trauma. He talks about it as not the thing that happens to you, but what happens to you as a result of the thing.
So you disconnect from your body, your emotions, et cetera.
So it's the echo.
Yeah, he says the echo is the trauma, it's not the. The thing. And, and what I love about that is because it. What that inspired in me is to be able to see the trauma in the traumatizer. So, for instance, if we look at redundancy, the organisation cuts off its own humanity and the people involved, because people have to talk to you in order to do this. The organisation does not have a face, it's people who have to talk to you. They have to sort of suppress some of their humanity in order to have these conversations with you that they know a performance and then show you where the door is at some point, you know, in a way that somehow protects them, so that numbness protects them to some degree and then they have to drive home, you know, and it's really, really interesting. So I don't sort of.
I haven't used the word victim once because I feel like that makes. That suggests that the traumatizer isn't the victim as either, because they certainly are. You know, there's quite a dynamic there. But yes, I think. I think it's. It's really important to situate. To have awareness, self awareness, because then you can realise, you know, one of the terms that's in various pieces of literature is metacognition and, you know, the ability to be Able to see yourself thinking, to observe yourself thinking. And I think you should also be able to observe yourself feeling so that a feeling comes up and it's not completely running you that you can see, oh this feeling is happening.
And I can observe the feeling, I can make choices about it, you know, and that choice might be to let the feeling be but not let it get out into the world as a, as an action or words or any of those things.
That's a great, that's a great word, metacognition. I completely understand what you're saying here is this be able to step out of your body and look down on you and analyse what's going on in your mind, what's going on in your heart, your feelings. And then almost a bit like, a bit like emotional intelligence where you're able to understand and be self aware of what's going on and then you can start to get into the self regulation, self management and adapt based on what you know. But I suppose if you're, if you're right in trauma, you're living it, you can't step back out of that. That's maybe some of the problem you're talking about there.
Yeah. And suddenly if you use all this without judgement so to just see what.
Is, that's the hard bit, isn't it? We're judgmental people. We love to be right, we love to have opinions, we love to tell people what we think, don't we?
And that is the primal biology role of the brain is to judge is this safe, is it not? The problem is that we live, you know, we talk about the risk problem, primal biology. And there is us as human being evolving in this, you know, in, in this world like our consciousness is evolving and there is like a gap, you know, there is a contradiction between the two and self awareness that metacognition be able to see what you're thinking but also what you're feeling. We need to come up with a new word for that is the process to, to bridge that gap. But going back to the leaders, they're focused on productivity and profitability and, and numbers and stats. I mean the system is crumbling. That we like it or not, something needs to shift come in and I think in, in many, if you treat it properly, AI is in a way is a blessing because as I said, as I said before I will solve is a almost like a left brain kind of, you know, tool helps you to solve, plan and do everything. And what you left is space for creativity is space for, you know, connect with People a space to explore different opportunities. So this is why the passion for us is actually to help people.
How can we help humans to actually capitalise on this AI venture instead of feeling threatened by it? And we talk about, you can create it from two different spaces, can create from a place of fear, or you can create from a place of flow, of connection, of safety. The results are very different because if you can create from flow, you can actually connect and belong to the team because you feel safe. And actually you can say, you know, I've got a great idea, but my idea combined with yours actually is going to be even better. But when we are into, you know, trauma responses and you know, this idea that, you know, scarcity, we focus on creating solution for ourselves, for our sake. So I think leaders will have to evolve. Some leaders will not and eventually will fade out, but the majority of us will need to embrace this. I mean, you know, off sick, off sickness, quiet, quitting, redundancy, burnout costs a lot of money anyway and they affect.
Leadership as well as, as well as, you know, leaders burnout, leaders quit quietly.
Well, leaders are led by somebody else. You know, there's a hierarchy of leaders at some point.
Yeah, and, and, and so I think what's always important is to remember that everybody's human. You know, you talk about sort of creating from fear. What happens when that happens is that you filter out things that won't get you to feel safe. Now it doesn't mean that there, there's not immense possibility in those things. And I specifically didn't use the word value just then, those things are just not imperative to your survival in the moment. And so you're throwing so many babies out with bathwater and, and when you're creating from flow, they all get to their time in the sun, you know, and you can make choices that are better informed, that are deeper, that are more connected and the choices become offerings rather than imperatives. Also there's this, this distinction between the fear based way of creating, of being can be quite individualist focused, whereas the other is more collective focused. Because what helps us, helps me and what helps me, helps us.
And it's not that we lose distinction, it's not, you don't lose your identity, you need an identity in order to belong to the. But the possibilities that happen when we connect, that we are just, they're exponential as opposed to the individual just looking out for themselves. I mean, I've been certainly in work context where people have stolen my ideas for their own progress and I always see those as Missed opportunities for the opposite to happen, for all of us to move on.
Is there a demographic bias in some of these things? So I'm thinking, are men more likely to lack empathy than women or is it. If you've experienced marginalisation, discrimination in the past, you're more likely to have more empathy about another person's situation. Can we generalise here at all what good leaders tend to be? Women tend to be overcome. You know, a view on that.
I think it's both. You can generalise and yet you cannot. I think it's one of the paradoxes, you know, because again, goes down to the individual experience for me to bring some woo woo into the conversation. It's about, it's about balancing your feminine and masculine energy that we hold, you know, like generally can generalise. The masculine is the, is the, the provider, right? And the feminine is the protector. The kind of the, you know, the energy that, you know, makes you feel safe and nurtured. And then the masculine is like, I'm gonna go out hunt, come back and put the meat on the, you know, next to the fire. And the, the feminine will cook the, will cook the meat, you know, that kind of stuff.
So it's a balance between us in a Western society. We're driven from a masculine, very patriarchal way of doing things. Then you see even women, you know, doing that in, you know, business. Women founders, they drive businesses like men would do. Even if they come up and show up with a lipstick on, they're still driving from a masculine, you know, Western height orientation. And, and what was the question, what was my fight? And, and this is. There is an imbalance. There is an imbalance.
I question myself, how do I want to run my business? Because I don't want to do it like the way that everybody, everybody else does. There are many people are shifting, actually. It's not, it's, you know, this big authenticity and being authentic is a buzzword now, especially on LinkedIn. Showing up and being vulnerable again and again. You can fake it, you know, you can become. Come across vulnerable to a certain degree and then it will show up anyway. But I think I lost my point. Someone saved me.
I think what you were trying to say there was the. It's about getting in touch with your energy and recognising that you need different energy sources. So as you say, the protector, the provider and whatever your gender, your age, your demographic is recognising those different energies and needs at different times and being able to authentically move in and out of energies and modes and Styles and communication and adapt to interact with people in a way that resonates at the time, I think, is what you're trying to say. So it's skill here is self awareness. And you say that metacognition, to be able to put yourself in a place where you are the most receptive communicator to listen and to assist at the time. I think to paraphrase what you're saying.
Yes, thank you for bringing me back to the centre. And it's about self awareness and also willingness. Am I willing to just do this? Because, you know, to the point that Adrianne said we want to work with people who want to maybe don't know the answer, they don't know what they're looking for, but they feel like there is something different that is needed in the business and organisation. And there is that sense that, the willingness. Because when you open, when you open a Pandora's box, there is also a purging process that people need to go through. You know, and my clients, I said, yeah, we can do this work, but remember when, after the session, the process continues. So you need to start to look at, you know, at uncomfortable new beliefs that come up. We might work on something, but something else will come up because it's a constant renewal process.
That's just the nature of nature. And we are nature. We constantly renew, we grow our hair, we cut them to grow skin nails. You know, that is the thing.
Fundamentally, we have to care deeply about the end result. If I'm having a conversation with you and I don't really care how you feel when you leave the room, that sets me up for an emotional failure, if you like, or a connection failure. If I deeply care that I want you to walk out that room feeling enhanced, feeling valued, even though this is a tough conversation, even though I'm making you redundant, I can do it in a way where there's empathy and compassion and I'm helping with that trauma process, sometimes I can just go, well, here's the bit of paper. Sorry, you're out tomorrow. Bye. Same conversation, just a different outcome planned, isn't that so? I think caring enough about how you interact, it's gotta be the first stage. And until we get that I care enough feeling, we're never going to be able to take a helicopter view of the conversation and think what the outcomes are.
Yeah, it's funny when. When this is a. An artefact of race conversations and one of the things I've learned to do and continue to learn to do is how to hold those Conversations in a way that doesn't. That allows everyone into the conversation insofar as they choose to be or can be. And those are definitely two different things because you can really want to be in that conversation and not be able to. And, and one of the things that one of the artefacts in, in. In the. In the main is that somebody's response to something that's happened or somebody else's experience or somebody else's storey becomes the centre of the conversation rather than that experience.
And it's the low hanging fruit here is to say that the white person cries and their tears become the conversation and their experience becomes a conversation. But that's the low hanging fruit can happen to anybody in that context because it then becomes about the feeling rather than the experience and whose feeling it is, you know, and it becomes about that person's empathy rather than who's gaslighting who.
Who's more Right.
It can be all those things. And for me it's so important. This awareness has come up quite a few times in this conversation. That awareness, the things, you know, you go through a transformation and I say transformation, I don't. I mean it in, in the sense that you, you choose to be a different way. Often that means letting go of things. And some things are very sticky. For instance, some of our work is.
Involves the inner child metaphor, dialogue. The inner child's got very sticky fingers, you know, within that metaphor there are parts of you that struggle because they want to be safe. They struggle to let go of control. So letting go of that is not an easy process. Eventually it is, but it is not an easy process. So being able to be sort of courageous enough to make those choices, to have the self awareness to see these things happening. It's a conversation with yourself, you know, and being better at having that conversation with yourself makes you a better everything, better partner, better, better listener. I mean I talk about deep listening as being able to hear yourself as well as the other person.
Because if you can't do it in both directions, something's wrong. You're. Because you can, you can over centre the other person's experience. You need to be able to hear what's going on inside of you so that you can know which bits to offer to withhold. So that deep listening is a really, really important aspect of our work. And from sort of creating context for that deep listening to happen is crucial.
I just want to go back to a question that you asked Joe about. There are different some characteristics or some experiences like people, black and brown people, do they Experience more empathy because what they've gone through. And the answer was yes and no in my case, being criticised, overly criticised as a child has given me and feeling. It has given me the ability really to pick up on people when they retrieve because they feel criticised. Right. As a practitioner, as giving me. So, yes, your, your childhood experience will shape the way some of your gifts. And you talk about, you know, growing up in South Africa, having to be able to, you know, you had to scan the environment around you to.
To feel safe. It's now your gift of be able to hold this big space where all these people are and, and make room for everybody, you know, everyone's emotion. So, yes, experience will shape the way you show up. And at the same time, someone who's been traumatised as a child, and this does not mean violence can be really emotional neglect is as traumatising as being, you know, for some people as any. Anything else as a car crash, they are hurt so much, they isolate themselves. The inner child is just close in. And some of these people will show up with narcissistic traits. They got so far in through that, on that path that cannot see other people's point of view anymore.
It's just about them. It's just about them. And I've been dealt with narcissists in my life and you see them, they just go back to like childhood childlike behaviour and there is a block and some of them, they wear suits and, you know, ties, you know, some of these big children. Which unfortunately is quite prevalent in the top leadership layers, really, it's quite prevalent.
A mantra that many professional speakers use is you speak from the scar, not from the wound. So if your wound is still open, it's still bleeding, it's still leaking, you need to heal yourself first and then you can reflect back on that trauma, that wound of past. So you have to work on yourself first. And because if you're trying to heal from that point where you're still hurting, you're going to bring that hurt into the conversation. So what you're saying there is. It's really important that heal thyself first, I think, is the key message. Understand thyself and not bring your trauma into somebody else's trauma.
You can't, you can't take anyone. We're talking about in the context of my. Our practise. You can't take a client any deeper than you have been, you know, and the business actually, you know, if someone's running a business, you can't take it as further than what you actually prepared to.
Yeah.
And I think, you know, not an over. In an implicit way, modelling is a big part of what we do because we're navigating the territory we're trying to bring other people to. And that territory is alive, so you can't sort of wander through it and say, okay, well, I know what that is now because it's shifting, it's. The terrain's alive and. And also who you are. You know, I often like to start a session with the understanding that the version of somebody that walks into the room is the version I'm dealing with.
Yes.
Rather than this person I know for 10 minutes or 20 years, whatever it is, is who's coming into the room. It's the version of them. So if they're. If they were running five minutes late and they're harried, or there's a thought in there that's distracting him, or not, if they're happy, sad, all these things, those. That's who you're dealing with. And being able to sort of find people where they are. That's what I talk about is. Is finding the version of them that's in the room.
So I don't bring my preconceptions of who. Who they are might be into that conversation. I can put those preconceptions aside and say, well, this is where they are.
I could. I'm with you on that. And I encourage leaders to that as well. Where you're meeting people, where they're at. And as you say in that moment, if you're trying to correct behaviour, trying to figure out actually what's going on in your life right now, what's happened? Where are you? Are you feeling relaxed? Are you feeling happy, stressed, sad? Because all of that is firing of your brain. Your emotional triggers are going. And you can never go logical, you can never go to the prefrontal cortex. If people are still living in trauma or still living in whatever baggage they're carrying, as you say, into the room right now.
And we're not asking leaders to be therapists either. We're just asking them to be. Just aware enough to be able to see there's something here I don't recognise. And then to become curious or offer curiosity to that, not just ask questions unnecessarily, because I'm not. Again, we're not asking them to be therapists. I mean, we are not therapists. But what we can do is facilitate space for exploration, for navigation. And if.
If somebody needs whatever they need, there are ways for them to get it. But until they recognise that need and accept that need, you know, you're nowhere.
We were talking to someone the other day about this conversation. Is a. Is a CEO of business and he says, but I can't just. It's already difficult to run a business. I can't look after. Think about everybody else, what all my team members feel. And the point is, you don't have to look after them, you need to provide them space. And this is what we trying to bring to business space.
Opportunities for your own people to look at this stuff, to look at themselves. Opportunities. Because we live two thirds of our lives is work, work, you know, work needs to take a responsibility. How much extracts from us. It's just a question of providing opportunity, not just, oh, I'll provide you with extra half an hour for a walk or, you know, I'll put a plant in the office that does a little bit. But the, the work is deep inside of us, really rehumanizing the workplace, rehumanizing humans.
Sylvia, Adrian, we could talk all day and I mean, we've been chatting now for. Wow, over. Over an hour and a half and a bit time in the green room as well. It's been fascinating to get to know you both and I love the conversation. I think we've got a lot of lost synergy in what we think about and it's really powerful and I'm very envious about your. Your cold water swimming and your idyllic Cornwall life. It sounds. Sounds perfect.
How could people get hold of you?
Well, we have a website that's leadandbelong.com and it's l E A D A N D B O L O N G B A B l o n g.com and there's an email address. It's infoadandbelong.com Again, I n F O at L E a d a N-B-E l o n g.com and we've got profiles on LinkedIn individually and we're. We're gently active there.
I'll. I'll put full details in the show notes rather than you have to spell your names out, both of you. It's for native English speakers. Read the show notes to get the spelling because Adrianne is not spelled as you would imagine and Sylvia is obviously, but Adrianne isn't. So, yeah, read. Read the notes, look at the subtitles, the captions and please do contact Adrianne and Sylvia because you'd love to hear from people. Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely is.
Yeah.
I feel that it's. Work is needed.
Work is needed for sure. For sure. Definitely. Definitely. Well, thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure.
Thank you.
Thank you.
As we bring this conversation to a close, I want to express my deepest gratitude to you, our listener, for lending your ear to and heart to the cause of inclusion. Today's discussion struck a chord. Consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of our ever growing community driving real change. Share this journey with friends, family and colleagues. Let's amplify the voices that matter. Got thoughts, storeys or a vision to share? I'm all ears. Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and let's make your voice heard. Until next time, this is Joanne Lockwood signing off with a promise to return with more enriching narratives that challenge, inspire and unite us all.
Here's to fostering a more inclusive world one episode at a time. Catch you on the next bite.
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Episode Category
Primary Category: Wellbeing
Secondary Category: Emotional Intelligence
🔖 Titles
Healing Through Human Connection: Navigating Trauma, Bias, and Belonging in the Modern Workplace
The Power of Self Awareness in Creating Inclusive and Trauma-Informed Spaces
Rehumanising the Workplace: Empathy, Belonging, and Collective Healing Explored
From Isolation to Inclusion: The Journey Toward True Connection and Workplace Belonging
Why Self Discovery Fuels Greater Empathy and Inclusive Leadership
Beyond Diversity: Experiencing Belonging, Healing, and Human Centred Leadership
Understanding Trauma and Its Role in Shaping Workplace Culture and Inclusion
Creating Safe Spaces for Growth: The Art of Empathetic Leadership
How Everyday Choices Build Human Connection and Psychological Safety
Belonging, Empathy, and Leadership: A Conversation on Collective Healing and Workplace Transformation
A Subtitle - A Single Sentence describing this episode
Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse explore the profound journey from self-awareness to collective healing, illuminating how empathy, nervous system regulation, and courageous conversations are vital for nurturing true belonging and human connection in organisations.
Episode Tags
Human Connection, Healing Conversations, Workplace Belonging, Trauma Awareness, Inclusive Leadership, Empathy Skills, Cultural Identity, Self Awareness, Collective Healing, Psychological Safety
Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway
In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood is joined by Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse to explore the transformative power of healing through human connection. The conversation journeys through personal experiences of trauma, belonging, and identity, highlighting the importance of creating gentle yet impactful spaces for growth—spaces where leaders and teams are invited to shift from mind-centred to truly human-centred approaches. Together, Joanne, Silvia and Adrianne dissect the difference between inclusion and belonging, the limits of empathy, and the collective process of healing. They challenge the notion that belonging can be prescribed or performed, revealing how it emerges authentically as a state of being.
Silvia and Adrianne, life partners and co-founders of Lead and Belong, join the podcast with rich backgrounds in coaching, education, and energetic work. Silvia shares how her journey into the world of trauma-healing and self-awareness began with family challenges and gradually evolved into a dedication to helping others find safety, connection, and collective healing. Adrianne’s lived experience as a South African of deeply mixed heritage and an academic in the arts has heightened their awareness of identity, marginalisation, and the nuanced impact of socio-cultural trauma. Together, they exemplify the philosophy that you must belong to yourself first—centred in empathy, self-awareness, and the belief that radical transformation happens in relationship with others rather than isolation.
Joanne, Silvia and Adrianne reflect on how organisations must move beyond compliance and cognitive frameworks if leaders are to truly support psychological safety and belonging at work. Through lived examples and engaging dialogue, the episode reveals just how much depth sits beneath the surface of inclusion work—addressing nervous system responses, courage, bias, and the artistry of holding space. Listeners are offered practical insights into how to lead with vulnerability, foster collective healing, and meet people where they are, not just who they have been.
A key takeaway from this episode is the profound role of authentic human connection in healing and growth, both individually and collectively. By embracing our personal journeys and holding space for others, we unlock deeper empathy, genuine inclusion, and a workplace culture where everyone can thrive. This episode is essential listening for those ready to move beyond tick-box inclusion and nurture true belonging.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 "Inclusion Bites: Joanne Lockwood fosters bold dialogues on inclusion, belonging, and societal change, encouraging connection, reflection, and action."
09:52 Realising the need for connection, healing, and collective growth through shared experiences and creating safe spaces.
12:32 Her father died when she was two, her family was evicted from Cape Town's multicultural District 6 during apartheid, and she grew up transitioning from apartheid to a new South Africa.
19:05 Experience, teach, and belong; addressing workplace disconnection and personal growth.
24:22 Using a "wiggly line" metaphor, the speaker visualises the boundary of their knowledge and empathy, fostering self-awareness and deeper understanding.
31:03 Rehumanise the workplace by valuing embodiment, choice, authenticity, and connection over strict logic and performance.
33:20 The brain seeks to protect us, detaching when work feels negative; by consciously bringing part of ourselves to work and meeting others where they are, we can ease this tension.
42:28 Trauma echoes in both victim and perpetrator, highlighting suppressed humanity in systems, like redundancy processes.
45:08 The brain's primal role is assessing safety, but human consciousness evolution creates a gap between primal instincts and self-awareness. Leaders prioritise productivity, neglecting systemic collapse. Properly utilised, AI can free space for creativity, connection, and exploration.
53:33 Care deeply about interactions to ensure empathy and meaningful outcomes.
57:18 Childhood experiences shape empathy and abilities, influenced by criticism and environmental awareness.
01:01:36 Meet people where they are, addressing emotions and traumas before engaging logically.
01:05:19 Join the Inclusion Bites community to drive change, share stories, and amplify voices. Contact Joanne Lockwood at joe.lockwood@seachangehappen.co.uk.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 "Inclusion Bites: Spark Change"
09:52 "Collective Healing through Connection"
12:32 "Heritage, Loss, and Apartheid"
19:05 "Experience, Teach, Belong"
24:22 Empathy's Guiding Boundary Line
31:03 Rehumanising Workplaces Through Authenticity
33:20 "Balancing Mind and Presence"
42:28 "Echoes of Trauma Explored"
45:08 "Bridging Biology, AI, and Growth"
53:33 "Caring Shapes Conversation Outcomes"
57:18 "Childhood Experiences Shape Empathy"
01:01:36 "Meeting People Where They Are"
01:05:19 "Inclusion Bites: Join Us"
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🎙️ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: Healing Through Human Connection 🎙️
💬 Can a simple connection be the key to real healing at work—and in life? Press play for 60 seconds of insight that just might shift your perspective! 💬
This week, I’m delighted to welcome Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, experts in creating safe and powerful spaces for transformational leadership. Together, we get right to the heart of what makes teams thrive:
🔑 The Power of True Belonging – Why it’s more than a buzzword, and how it enables us to bring our full, vibrant selves to work
🔑 Understanding Trauma in the Workplace – How unhealed experiences can show up in unexpected ways, from leadership blind spots to everyday interactions
🔑 Empathy in Action – Practical ways leaders can foster connection (without being a therapist), hold space, and encourage collective healing
Why Listen? "Inclusion is about understanding, and this episode is packed with insights to help you create more #PositivePeopleExperiences."
As the host of Inclusion Bites, I release episodes every week to spark ideas, challenge assumptions, and help you nurture true inclusion and belonging. This 1-minute clip is just a sneak peek—there’s so much more to discover!
What’s your take? 💭 Have you ever felt the difference between being included and truly belonging? How do you create space for genuine connection? Share your thoughts or experiences below 👇
🎧 Listen here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#PositivePeopleExperiences #SmileEngageEducate #InclusionBites #Podcasts #Shorts
#HumanConnection #TraumaInformed #LeadershipDevelopment #Belonging #WorkplaceCulture
Don’t forget to like, subscribe, follow, and comment—let’s amplify these crucial conversations together!
with SEE Change Happen, Silvia Causo, and Adrianne Arendse
TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary
Focus keyword: Healing Through Human Connection
Title:
Healing Through Human Connection: The Spark for Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags:
healing through human connection, inclusion, culture change, positive people experiences, diversity, belonging, leadership, mental health, empathy, trauma informed, inclusive culture, team dynamics, self awareness, collective healing, vulnerability, podcast, personal growth, dialogue, community, safe spaces, HR, lead and belong, workplace wellbeing, emotional intelligence, see change happen
Killer Quote:
Killer Quote: "We can’t heal in isolation. We heal as we co-regulate with each other." – Silvia Causo
Hashtags:
#HealingThroughHumanConnection, #Inclusion, #CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #Belonging, #Diversity, #Empathy, #Leadership, #InclusionBites, #SeeChangeHappen, #TraumaInformed, #WorkplaceWellbeing, #TeamDevelopment, #HumanConnection, #SelfAwareness, #PersonalGrowth, #PodcastUK, #CollectiveHealing, #InclusionMatters, #Dialogue
Summary Description:
Dive into this powerful episode of Inclusion Bites as I explore "Healing Through Human Connection"—the essential ingredient for real culture change. Join me as Silvia and Adrianne share what it truly means to move from mind-centred approaches to Positive People Experiences in our workplaces and communities. We unpack how self-awareness, empathy, and nervous system attunement build genuine belonging, and why collective healing beats isolation every time. If you’re ready to disrupt old norms, foster a human-centred culture, and embrace the nuances of real, sustainable inclusion, this episode is for you. Listen now, get inspired, and become part of a movement that’s changing organisations—one conversation at a time.
Call to Action:
Want to spark meaningful change and champion Positive People Experiences? Subscribe, share, and join the conversation. Learn more and listen to the full episode—your journey towards true culture change starts here!
Outro:
Thank you for tuning in to Inclusion Bites. If you found value in today’s conversation, don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share with others seeking Positive People Experiences. Explore more transformative content and resources on SEE Change Happen: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
Listen to the full episode here: The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to this episode of Inclusion Bites, “Healing Through Human Connection,” where host Joanne Lockwood sits down with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong. Together, they explore what it truly means to nurture belonging and inclusion — not just in theory, but through lived experience, empathy, and transformative conversations.
Drawing from personal histories of trauma, varied cultural backgrounds, and their professional journeys, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse discuss the intersection of individual healing and collective growth. This episode dives into the nuances of creating gentle yet powerful spaces for leaders and teams, challenging mind-centred approaches and championing human-centred workplaces.
From confronting unconscious biases to emphasising the importance of nervous system education, the conversation guides listeners through finding belonging within themselves so they can forge meaningful connections with others. Expect reflections on race, identity, trauma-informed leadership, and the vital difference between being included and truly belonging.
Join Joanne Lockwood, Silvia Causo, and Adrianne Arendse for an episode packed with insight, candour, and actionable ideas to spark change. If you're ready to challenge the status quo and drive deeper connection in your workplace or life, this is the conversation for you.
💬 Keywords
inclusion, belonging, human connection, trauma, empathy, bias, leadership, psychological safety, diversity, self-awareness, metacognition, collective healing, workplace culture, nervous system, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, safe spaces, lived experience, identity, marginalisation, race, mixed ethnicity, compassionate leadership, workplace wellbeing, energetic work, self-regulation, authentic communication, corporate culture, trauma-informed practice, organisational change
About this Episode
About The Episode:
In this episode, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, illuminate the profound role human connection plays in collective and individual healing within organisational and societal contexts. Drawing from their personal histories and expertise in trauma-informed practices, they explore how belonging, empathy, and self-awareness can unlock transformative growth in workplaces and relationships. Their conversation unpacks practical strategies and nuanced perspectives on shifting from mind-centred approaches to fully embracing human-centred leadership.
Today, we'll cover:
The distinction between inclusion and belonging, and why belonging emerges as a lived, embodied experience rather than a policy or checklist.
Approaches to empathy: understanding its limits, and recognising that authentic empathy requires first self-awareness and clearing personal trauma.
The impact of trauma and protection mechanisms on workplace dynamics, and how leaders can create safer spaces for collective healing.
Shifting work cultures from linear, logic-driven models to environments where emotional and energetic coherence enable genuine connection and creativity.
Strategies for facilitating difficult conversations and supporting colleagues through trauma without assuming the role of a therapist.
The critical importance of self-regulation, metacognition, and meeting people where they are—especially when navigating change and uncertainty.
How the balance of masculine and feminine energies, and practicing deep listening, can foster authentic engagement, adaptability, and innovation within teams and organisations.
💡 Speaker bios
Joanne Lockwood is the host of Inclusion Bites, a podcast dedicated to bold conversations about inclusion, belonging, and societal change. As a guide and storyteller, Joanne invites listeners on a journey of discovery, challenging the status quo and exploring what it truly means for everyone to flourish in a world where they feel they belong. Through engaging discussions and thought-provoking stories, Joanne encourages reflection, connection, and collective action, creating a welcoming space for all to be part of the conversation.
💡 Speaker bios
Silvia Causo’s journey into coaching and energetic work began through personal hardship. When a close family member struggled with severe mental illness and an eating disorder, Silvia was deeply involved, striving to support their recovery. However, she came to realise that her efforts were becoming counterproductive, and she bravely confronted her own behaviours, noticing patterns rooted in her upbringing. This sparked an introspective exploration of trauma and family dynamics, which ultimately guided Silvia towards her professional path. Today, she draws on these insights and her background in coaching to help others navigate their challenges with authenticity and compassion.
💡 Speaker bios
Adrianne Arendse is a South African screenwriter and educator whose diverse heritage reflects a broad cultural tapestry, including roots in Mozambique, India, Malaysia, and Holland. Around six years ago, Adrianne was teaching screenwriting at Falmouth University, where she began reflecting deeply on her mixed ethnicity—an identity far richer and more intricate than traditional notions of mixed race. Delivering lectures, Adrianne realised the breadth of stories and experiences she could share, drawing upon her unique background to inform her work and inspire her students.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Certainly! Here is a comprehensive sequence of topics covered in the transcript for the Inclusion Bites Podcast episode "Healing Through Human Connection", organised with main topics and sub-topics.
1. Introduction to the Podcast and Guests
Podcast ethos and invitation to listeners
Introduction of guests Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse
Background on Lead and Belong, their shared work and superpowers
Location setting: Portleven, Cornwall—discussion of local environment and routines
2. Personal Journeys into Inclusion and Belonging
Adrianne Arendse’s multicultural heritage and its influence on belonging
Exploration of belonging through education and curriculum development
The impact of Western-centric narratives on individual potential
The ripple effect from self-belonging to collective empathy
Silvia Causo’s personal journey through trauma, family dynamics, and coaching
Realisation of transgenerational behavioural patterns
Experience of isolation, self-protection, and the need for collective healing
The partnership’s origin and their complementary strengths
3. Exploring the Nature and Experience of Belonging
The subjective and evolving nature of belonging
Belonging as a feeling versus inclusion as an invitation
The concept of belonging being binary (“you either have it or you don’t”)
Choices involved in daily belonging and relationships
Personal narratives around inter-racial relationships and experiencing ‘otherness’
Shifting from intellectual to lived, embodied understanding of exclusion and inclusion
Reflections on white identity, assumptions, and developing awareness through lived experience
The nuance of implicit bias and micro-reactions in society
4. Challenges in Empathy and Human Connection
Differentiating information from knowledge and the limits of empathy
The importance of lived experience for true empathy
The knowledge-information-empathy continuum and respecting individual perspective boundaries
The role of presence, energy, and regulation in deepening connection
Nervous system education, energy fields, and the importance of emotional safety
5. The Workplace: Inclusion, Leadership, and Trauma
How trauma and protective mechanisms shape workplace culture
Impact of compartmentalisation and emotional suppression on engagement and authenticity
The need for a shift from linear, cognitive approaches to human-centred, embodied practices
Barriers faced by leaders—logic versus feeling, and reluctance to embrace vulnerability
Burnout, absenteeism, and the cost of toxic environments
The facilitators’ approach with clients
Creating gentle, trauma-informed, and adaptable processes for collective healing
Role of leadership willingness and readiness in transformation, rather than forced compliance
6. Developing Empathy, Self-awareness, and Metacognition
The necessity of self-awareness for authentic leadership and human connection
Metacognition: observing one’s thoughts and feelings with minimal judgement
The interplay between personal healing and the ability to deeply listen and support others
Challenges of overcoming personal trauma, judgement, and ingrained protective behaviours
7. Societal Patterns, Demographics, and Biases
Gender, cultural, and organisational influences on empathy
Discussion of masculine and feminine energies, balance, and leadership styles
The role of life experience and marginalisation in shaping empathetic capacity
Limitations of generalisations and diversity within characteristics
Narcissistic traits as a result of childhood trauma
8. Practical Insights and Calls to Action
Practising self-care before supporting others: “Speak from the scar, not the wound”
Modelling behaviour and creating psychological safety in organisational contexts
Importance of caring deeply, facilitating space for others, and offering authentic presence—not therapy—in leadership
Revisiting the responsibility of workplaces to foster environments for self-exploration and growth
9. Contact and Further Engagement
Information and encouragement to contact Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse through their website and LinkedIn
Encouragement by Joanne Lockwood (Joanne Lockwood) to engage with the podcast, share feedback, and join the community
This sequence reflects a deep, narrative-driven exploration of inclusion, trauma, and the need for a relational, empathetic approach in workplaces and society, as articulated by both guests and the host throughout the discussion.
The Hook
Ever felt surrounded by people… yet utterly alone? There’s a reason you can feel excluded in a room full of colleagues—or even after years in a role you “should” call home. What if the missing link wasn’t just inclusion, but something deeper…?
Let’s get real: are you showing up at work as your TRUE self, or just wearing another mask? Turns out, PERFORMANCE and productivity mean nothing if you’re quietly disconnected. So—how do you really step into belonging, not just “fitting in”?
Why do some leaders spark loyalty whilst others create silent resignation? Here’s the uncomfortable truth: numbers and policies won’t win hearts. But vulnerability—and genuine connection—might just change everything.
Stuck in auto-pilot, running through the motions—smiling at meetings, ticking off tasks, yet hollow inside? There’s a reason. And it’s NOT about who’s in the room—it’s how brave you are to bring yourself to it.
Here’s a question no one’s asking: how often do you “belong” to yourself before demanding it from your environment? Dive in and discover why the REAL journey to thriving teams (and lives) starts INSIDE—well before anyone else notices.
🎬 Reel script
Today’s episode of Inclusion Bites dives deep into healing through human connection. Together with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, we unpack the power of belonging, explore how trauma shapes our interactions, and challenge the way leaders approach empathy in the workplace. If you care about inclusion, emotional intelligence, and creating spaces where everyone thrives, this conversation is essential. Let’s rehumanise business—from logic to heart, from isolation to collective healing.
🗞️ Newsletter
Subject: Healing Through Human Connection: Unpacking Belonging & Empathy | Inclusion Bites Podcast
Hello Inclusion Bites Community,
We’re delighted to bring you the latest episode of Inclusion Bites: Healing Through Human Connection. This week, we welcome Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, who are pioneering new ways for leaders and teams to move from “mind-centred” to truly human-centred growth.
Episode Highlights
Unlocking Belonging—Inside and Out
Discover how Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse turned lived experience—racial identity, trauma, and deep self-exploration—into a powerful mission for collective healing. Their approach? Belonging starts with understanding yourself, and only then can you co-create spaces where others thrive.
Why “Inclusion” Alone Isn’t Enough
Host Joanne Lockwood guides an honest conversation about the difference between “being included” and actually “belonging.” It’s one thing to have a seat at the table; it’s another to feel truly at home. Expect thought-provoking takes on why workplaces must go beyond tick-box exercises to foster genuine connection.
Trauma-Informed Leadership for the Modern Workplace
Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse share how trauma—whether childhood criticism or systemic marginalisation—shapes our relationships and leadership styles. Their gentle, practical approach illustrates why empathy isn’t just a buzzword, but a crucial leadership skill requiring daily, conscious choice.
Practical Insights You Can Use Now
How to build empathy, even when you can’t share the same lived experience
Moving from cognitive “head knowledge” to embodied, heartfelt understanding
Creating spaces where all parts of ourselves are welcome at work
Listener Takeaway
Belonging is an ever-evolving process. You don’t finish it—it’s a daily choice. It begins with self-awareness and extends to how we shape our relationships, workplaces, and communities. It’s not about perfection; it’s about courage, curiosity, and the willingness to grow.
Connect with Us
Feeling inspired? We want to hear your thoughts and stories:
Email Jo: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
Ready for more? Catch the new episode:
🎧 Listen to the episode and browse other inspiring conversations here
Let’s keep disrupting norms together—one bold, honest conversation at a time.
With warmth,
The Inclusion Bites Team
Ready to ignite deeper inclusion in your world? Forward this newsletter to a friend or colleague who cares. #InclusionBites #HumanConnection
🧵 Tweet thread
🧵 Healing Through Human Connection: The Power of Belonging at Work 🫂
1/ What does it really mean to belong? In the latest Inclusion Bites episode, Silvia Causo & Adrianne Arendse dive deep with Joanne Lockwood to unpack bias, trauma, and human connection—revealing why true inclusion goes way past a corporate tick box. #InclusionBites
2/ Adrianne Arendse shares: “Belonging starts with belonging to myself, and ripples outwards. It requires empathy… and the limits of my empathy.” Ever tried understanding your own boundaries before supporting others? That’s real vulnerability.
3/ Silvia Causo adds: “I thought I was inclusive—until I started a biracial relationship. My body held experiences that weren’t aligned with my values.” Inclusion isn’t just a mental exercise—sometimes, our bodies tell stories our minds ignore.
4/ “We met on a dating app,” Silvia Causo reveals. Their journey led to Lead and Belong—a workplace practice rooting team healing in empathy, trauma awareness, and deep human connection.
5/ You can be included in a team but still feel lonely in a room full of people. “Belonging is a feeling—an upgrade from just being accepted or invited. When you belong, you resonate,” Joanne Lockwood notes.
6/ But here’s the twist: You cannot force or ‘gift’ belonging to someone. As Adrianne Arendse puts it, “It’s a state of being, not a performance. You realise you belong… after the fact.”
7/ Empathy isn’t about having lived someone else’s life. “I call it the line of my empathy: where my body’s experience stops, but my mind and heart can reach further,” Adrianne Arendse explains. Real empathy means centring the other, not yourself.
8/ Trauma sits at the heart of our disconnect. Silvia Causo: “We isolate to protect ourselves. Healing happens collectively, as we co-regulate.” No healing alone—transformation is always a shared act.
9/ Why should leaders care? Because feeling is productivity’s greatest energy source. Safe, connected humans innovate and collaborate. No inclusion, no flow. No belonging, no sustainable performance.
10/ TL;DR: True belonging is a practice—a daily choice. It starts with self-awareness, openness to discomfort, and daring to enter the squishy, uncharted spaces of collective healing.
👇 Dive into more bold conversations that disrupt the status quo.
Listen/subscribe: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#Inclusion #Belonging #DEI #PsychologicalSafety #WorkplaceCulture
Guest's content for their marketing
Reflections on Inclusion: My Experience as a Guest on Inclusion Bites Podcast
Recently, I had the privilege of joining Joanne Lockwood on the renowned Inclusion Bites Podcast for episode 201, Healing Through Human Connection. It was an enriching experience that challenged me to explore the depth of belonging, bias, trauma, and empathy—not just as theoretical constructs, but as visceral, lived realities that shape our lives and workplaces.
A Conversation Beyond Surface-Level Inclusion
From the outset, it was clear this wasn’t just another diversity conversation. The Inclusion Bites Podcast lives up to its promise: bold dialogue that dismantles surface-level platitudes, pushing guests and listeners alike to wrestle with the unseen dynamics that drive inclusion and belonging. Joanne Lockwood prompted us to share personal stories and reflections, ensuring that we rooted our insights in experience rather than abstract concepts.
Personal Insights: Belonging Starts Within
One theme that resonates deeply with me is the idea that belonging begins with oneself. During the conversation, I discussed how my journey—both professionally, as a practitioner of coaching and energetic work, and personally, navigating trauma and cultural conditioning—has shaped my understanding of inclusion. The relationship between individual healing and collective healing became a central motif. As I shared, “We can’t heal in isolation. We heal as we co-regulate with each other.” This ethos guides my work and my approach to human-centred growth.
Empathy: More Than a Buzzword
We delved into the nuanced distinction between empathy as intellectual understanding versus embodied experience. My perspective, informed by years of supporting individuals and teams, is that trauma-informed practice moves beyond simply recognising difference. Empathy, in my view, demands that we attune ourselves to the nervous system and emotional blocks of others—requiring both presence and willingness to grow. It’s an ongoing process, not a destination.
The Workplace: Safe Spaces and Lasting Transformation
Our discussion explored how traditional organisations often prioritise logic and compartmentalisation, inadvertently isolating individuals and stifling creativity. I spoke about the necessity for gentle, trauma-informed approaches in rehumanising the workplace. Leaders aren’t required to be therapists, but creating safe spaces and opportunities for self-exploration is essential. The workplace, after all, consumes much of our lives; it must carry responsibility beyond profit, investing in genuine wellbeing and belonging.
A Call for Courage and Authenticity
It takes courage and self-awareness to open up to these conversations, and to create environments where everyone—regardless of demographic, trauma, or perceived difference—can thrive. My hope is that sharing my story on Inclusion Bites encourages others, especially leaders and changemakers, to embrace authentic connection. Belonging is not a fixed state; it’s an ongoing, collective choice.
Connect and Continue the Conversation
If these reflections resonate, or if you wish to learn more about my work in creating powerful, human-centred spaces for growth and healing, please visit leadandbelong.com or reach out directly. Let’s work together to ignite true inclusion—one conversation, one connection at a time.
Appearing on Inclusion Bites was not just an opportunity to share; it was a reminder of the work still to be done and the transformative power of deep listening and collective empathy. Thank you, Joanne Lockwood, for facilitating a space where real change takes root.
Pain Points and Challenges
Certainly. Below is a concise list of the pain points and challenges discussed in this episode of Inclusion Bites, followed by targeted content addressing each issue:
Identified Pain Points & Challenges
Barriers to True Belonging
Many individuals feel included at a superficial level but lack a true sense of belonging in workplaces and communities, leading to loneliness even in social environments.Cognitive Versus Emotional Engagement
Leaders and organisations often focus on logical, “above the neck” decision-making, sidelining emotional intelligence, empathy, and nervous system awareness.Trauma and Defensive Mechanisms
Unhealed trauma and conditioned behaviours restrict openness, empathy, and authentic connection, both in personal relationships and professional settings.The Challenge of Collective Healing
Healing is framed as an inherently collective process, hindered when people isolate themselves or work in environments devoid of psychological safety.Empathy Deficit & The Limits of Lived Experience
Empathy is often limited by the boundaries of one’s lived experience, which can result in a lack of understanding or an inability to fully support others.Inflexible Organisational Structures
Many organisations operate in a linear, hierarchical, and fear-based model, discouraging authenticity and requiring employees to leave aspects of themselves “at the door”.Leadership Readiness & Skillset Gaps
Not all leaders possess, or are ready to acquire, the self-awareness and vulnerability required to create truly inclusive and empathic spaces.Reluctance to Address Emotional Complexity
There is a common fear among leaders that opening space for emotion or trauma in the workplace will be unmanageable or make things “messy”.Superficial Implementation of Inclusion Initiatives
Activities such as 'plants in the office' or one-off walks are seen as insufficient without deeper systemic change and opportunities for genuine self-reflection.
Addressing the Pain Points
1. Moving from Inclusion to Belonging
Encourage ongoing dialogue about what belonging feels like, not just what inclusion policies look like.
Leaders should create space for people to share their authentic stories (Joanne Lockwood and Silvia Causo explored how surface inclusion differs from a felt sense of belonging).
Offer regular feedback mechanisms to check if people feel they can bring their full selves to work.
2. Integrating Emotional Intelligence into Leadership
Run workshops on nervous system awareness, empathy, and emotional literacy.
Invite leaders to balance KPIs and objectives with regular well-being check-ins, blending logic and feeling.
Model vulnerability and emotional presence from the top down—demonstrate that it’s “safe” to feel.
3. Addressing Trauma and Defensive Behaviours
Embed trauma-informed practices in organisational processes, ensuring safe spaces for reflection (Silvia Causo discussed how defensive strategies need gentle attention before transformation is possible).
Reiterate that nobody can be forced to engage or “feel”—progress is iterative and must be chosen, not imposed.
4. Fostering Collective Healing
Facilitate collective, co-regulatory spaces where individuals can share and process experiences together.
Highlight the requirement for collective approaches—nurture team relationships through trust-building sessions, not just individual growth.
5. Expanding and Contextualising Empathy
Recognise and explicitly state the limits of one’s empathy, but remain present and open to listening.
Use storytelling and lived-experience panels to bring wider realities into the organisational consciousness.
6. Challenging Inflexible Structures
Pilot flexible, collaborative models of working and ensure space for creativity and flow, rather than rigid, role-based “boxes”.
Position inclusion, psychological safety, and well-being as integral to productivity, not “nice to have” add-ons.
7. Developing Leaders for Empathy and Inclusion
Invest in coaching and development targeting emotional intelligence and self-awareness (“meet people where they are” as Adrianne Arendse suggests).
Select and reward leaders who show capacity for reflection, courage, and authentic engagement.
8. Reducing Fear of Emotional Complexity
Normalise discomfort and uncertainty in conversations—show leaders it’s acceptable not to have all the answers and to navigate “shades of grey”.
Offer frameworks for debriefing after difficult conversations to ensure safety for all involved.
9. Committing to Deep, Systemic Change
Move beyond symbolic gestures: establish ongoing reflection sessions, resource groups, and leadership accountability.
Ensure wellbeing initiatives are substantive, not superficial, engaging with the “whole person”—physical, mental, and emotional.
This episode makes it clear that healing, belonging, and inclusion are ongoing practices—not static endpoints. Transformation begins with self-awareness and the courage to foster genuine human connection in all facets of organisational life. For more guidance, engage with communities like Lead and Belong, or reach out to Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk for further discussion or consultancy.
Questions Asked that were insightful
Absolutely, the transcript from "Healing Through Human Connection" provides several moments where questions sparked meaningful, nuanced responses—ideal for turning into a series of FAQs that capture the essence of the episode. Here are some standout examples:
1. What sparked your journey into creating spaces for human-centred growth and healing?
This question, asked by Joanne Lockwood, prompted Adrianne Arendse and Silvia Causo to share deeply personal stories about their backgrounds and experiences. Adrianne Arendse spoke about his complex ethnic heritage and the limitations of Western perspectives in academia, while Silvia Causo described her catalyst being a family member’s struggle with mental illness, leading to personal reflection and development of trauma-aware practices. Their answers illustrate how lived experience drives passion for inclusion and collective healing.
2. How does belonging differ from inclusion, and why is it important?
The distinction between inclusion and belonging recurred throughout the interview, especially when Joanne Lockwood posed reflective questions. Adrianne Arendse responded by describing belonging as a “state of being” rather than a checklist, emphasising its subjectivity and relational nature. Silvia Causo added that belonging is about embodying inclusion personally and choosing it daily, challenging the misconception that being included automatically means feeling accepted.
3. Can you build empathy purely from information, without shared lived experience?
This question elicited particularly insightful replies. Adrianne Arendse discussed the “knowledge and information line”, stating that empathy isn’t about centring oneself, but understanding the limits of shared experience. Silvia Causo explored how nervous system coherence and presence deepen empathy, suggesting that emotional blocks must be addressed to truly connect with others’ experiences.
4. What approaches help leaders transition from logic-driven to empathetic, trauma-informed leadership?
When Joanne Lockwood questioned how leaders might bridge the gap between logic and empathy, both guests highlighted the need to meet leaders where they are, use a trauma-informed approach, and avoid forcing change. Adrianne Arendse explained they focus on leaders willing to be curious and courageous, supporting the development of self-awareness rather than prescribing solutions.
5. Is empathy influenced by demographics, such as gender or history of marginalisation?
This direct question led to a nuanced discussion. Silvia Causo explained that while broader patterns exist (e.g. masculine/feminine energies), empathy is ultimately shaped by individual experience and self-awareness. Adrianne Arendse added that trauma and self-care impact how empathy is expressed, rather than stereotypes based on demographic alone.
6. Why is deep listening, self-awareness, and care critical for inclusive, healing conversations?
Joanne Lockwood explored the importance of caring about others’ outcomes, prompting both guests to agree that genuine care, self-awareness, and the ability to listen deeply are foundations of transformational relationships and leadership. Silvia Causo reinforced that willingness and ongoing self-reflection are necessary for authentic connection.
These FAQs draw directly from the most insightful questions and responses in the episode, giving your audience practical takeaways and food for thought. The combination of personal narratives and expert insights builds a resource that’s both relatable and actionable—a perfect fit for the Inclusion Bites audience.
Blog article based on the episode
Healing Through Human Connection: Lessons in Belonging from Inclusion Bites
What if the single greatest path to authentic leadership and wellbeing is through the power of human connection?
Welcome to the heart of Inclusion Bites Podcast, where the episode “Healing Through Human Connection” pries open the complexities of inclusion and belonging. Co-hosted by the insightful Joanne Lockwood, with guests Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse—the force behind Lead and Belong—this conversation isn’t just an intellectual discussion; it’s a call to fundamentally shift the way we view leadership, workplaces, and even ourselves.
The Hidden Crisis: Isolation in a Connected Age
On the surface, our world has never been more interconnected—emails, Teams meetings, WhatsApp chats. Yet, beneath this digital chatter simmers a hidden epidemic: people feel lonelier, more detached, and less “seen” than ever. Joanne Lockwood accurately asserts you can be “lonely in a room full of people” or “included but not truly belonging.” It’s the emotional iceberg beneath the polished CV or the Zoom-ready face: anxiety, exhaustion, and the gnawing sense of not fitting in silently eroding workplace cultures and our collective mental health.
This sense of exclusion isn’t just a personal burden; it’s an organisational hazard. Burnout, disengagement, “quiet quitting” and high turnover are rampant—symptoms of a world that prizes productivity at the expense of human connection. In this environment, the much-lauded “diversity initiatives” risk devolving into box-ticking exercises unless they’re rooted in genuine empathy and belonging.
Understanding Belonging: Beyond the Buzzword
What does it mean, then, to “heal through human connection”? For Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, it’s far deeper than group activities or bland HR platitudes. Belonging, as they describe, is not a fixed state but a daily choice and ongoing process. It’s not merely being present but being present with yourself and others, with vulnerability and openness.
Silvia Causo shares how her journey into facilitating healing spaces began with facing family trauma—recognising not only their loved one’s pain but her own inherited patterns. This revelation was a gateway: “I realised I was modelling what my mother did to me, which I never wanted to do with other people,” Silvia Causo reflects. Such honesty underlines that changing the world starts with changing ourselves. “We cannot heal in isolation... we heal as we co-regulate with each other.”
Adrianne Arendse, drawing from his multicultural South African heritage, emphasises that understanding belonging starts with self-belonging—recognising and holding the nuances of one’s own identity. The experience of displacement during apartheid, coupled with family narratives stretching across continents, instilled in him the imperative to “find the limits of my own empathy” and then push beyond.
The Problem: Superficial Inclusion, Deep Disconnection
Too often, “inclusion” becomes a cerebral exercise—policy documents and training workshops that keep the messy, embodied work of human connection at arm’s length. As Adrianne Arendse puts it, Western workplace culture tries to “do everything cognitively... Your body becomes the unsafe place and you end up performing.” Leaders, especially, are rewarded for logical thinking and objective decision-making, while empathy and emotional curiosity can be seen as mere “soft skills”.
The outcome? People “park their identities at the door,” losing themselves in the pursuit of safety or acceptance. As Joanne Lockwood summarises, “You can be included but not belong... It’s trying to elevate yourself from being unwelcome to truly being part of something.”
Actionable Insights: Building Belonging and Rehumanising Work
So how do we actually move the needle from superficial inclusion to genuine human-centred growth? Drawing from Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse’s practice, here are key lessons:
1. Start with Self-Awareness
Belonging begins internally. “You can’t take anyone deeper than you have been,” Silvia Causo notes. Leaders and team members alike must confront their own stories, biases, and emotional patterns. Tools such as journaling, coaching, and inner child work foster this self-understanding.
2. Move Below the Neck
Stop intellectualising emotions. Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse stress that healing and empathy operate “below the neck”—through felt experiences, nervous system regulation, and genuine presence. Consider integrating breathwork, embodied listening, or “check-in” practices to bring attention to how people actually feel, not just what they say.
3. Curate Brave, Gentle Spaces
True connection is risky. It requires “radical empathy” and the courage to hold space—even for discomfort. Instead of forcing openness or empathy, create environments of psychological safety where people can choose vulnerability in their own time. As Adrianne Arendse shares, “We’re not trying to convert people... Curiosity must be met with courage, on both sides.”
4. Meet People Where They Are
Forget cookie-cutter strategies. Belonging “cannot be dictated” or prescribed; it must be co-created within the unique dynamics of each team or workplace. Prioritise deep listening, check assumptions at the door, and stay curious about the context and needs of each individual.
5. Reframe Leadership as Tending, Not Controlling
Draw inspiration from Silvia Causo’s analogy: a healthy team or organisation is less a machine, more a garden. Nurture growth, allow for organic development, and accept that sometimes old modes or ideas must be pruned for new life to flourish.
The Compassionate Bottom Line: Why It Matters
Superficial DEI work tinkers at the edges; healing through human connection transforms at the roots. When people feel they truly belong—not just included—productivity, innovation, and wellbeing are natural by-products. Conversely, when exclusion and numbness rule, the cost is paid in lost potential and emotional distress.
Silvia Causo reminds us: “You need to choose belonging every single day.” It is a daily, living practice—not a one-off workshop or hollow metric. And as Adrianne Arendse points out, the true evidence of belonging is not just in how we are welcomed, but whether we can bring our whole selves—whether we are listened to deeply, whether our pain and joy are held with care.
Your Call to Action: From Conversation to Practice
This episode, “Healing Through Human Connection”, delivers both a challenge and an invitation. Don’t just settle for “diversity” or “inclusion” as buzzwords—work towards workplaces where the fullness of each person is welcomed and nurtured.
Ask yourself:
Where in my life or workplace am I merely included, rather than truly belonging?
How can I show up, today, with greater presence and openness?
What one action can I take to create brave, gentle space for another—whether colleague, friend, or family member?
If you’re ready to rehumanise your team, organisation, or even your own leadership journey, take inspiration from Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse, and the Inclusion Bites conversation. Bringing in practices of self-awareness, embodied empathy, and deep listening can move your world from isolated performance to collective healing.
The next step is yours. Will you choose belonging—not just for yourself, but for all those around you?
For more transformative insights and to connect with changemakers like Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, listen to the full episode of Inclusion Bites, “Healing Through Human Connection,” hosted by Joanne Lockwood. Get in touch, join the conversation, and let’s build a more inclusive world—one courageous connection at a time.
Listen here: Inclusion Bites Podcast – Healing Through Human Connection
Contact Joanne: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
#InclusionBites #LeadAndBelong #Belonging #HumanConnection #TraumaInformedLeadership
The standout line from this episode
A standout line from this episode is:
"You can't take a client any deeper than you have been, you know, and the business actually, you know, if someone's running a business, you can't take it as further than what you actually prepared to." – Silvia Causo
❓ Questions
Certainly! Here are 10 discussion questions based on this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, "Healing Through Human Connection":
How do Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse define the distinction between inclusion and belonging, and why do they argue that you can be included but not truly belong?
Adrianne Arendse speaks about the influence of his multicultural background and experiences during apartheid on his understanding of belonging. How does personal history shape our perception of inclusion and empathy?
What role does trauma play in shaping our interactions at work and in life, according to Silvia Causo? How does this insight affect the way organisations should support their people?
The guests mention the importance of “co-regulation” and healing in community rather than isolation. How does this collective approach challenge traditional, individualistic perspectives on personal development and wellbeing?
Joanne Lockwood draws a distinction between knowledge and information, and Adrianne Arendse notes that empathy is not simply understanding but feeling. How can leaders in the workplace move from cognitive understanding to genuine empathy?
The conversation delves into the discomfort and resistance people may feel when addressing bias and trauma within themselves. What strategies did the guests recommend for gently encouraging self-awareness in others?
Silvia Causo emphasises the importance of nervous system education and energetic awareness in belonging. How might an understanding of our physical and emotional responses enhance inclusivity in a team or organisation?
The guests discuss the limits to empathy—how our own experience can only take us so far. How can leaders be mindful of these boundaries and still foster an inclusive environment?
How do Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse approach working with leaders who view emotional engagement or empathy in the workplace as a weakness? Is it possible to create sustainable change without buy-in?
Both guests describe belonging and healing as ongoing choices and processes, not end points. How can workplaces cultivate a culture that recognises and supports continual growth and emotional wellbeing for everyone?
These questions are designed to provoke reflection, practical insight, and meaningful conversation inspired by the transcript of this episode.
FAQs from the Episode
FAQ: Healing Through Human Connection – Inclusion Bites Podcast, Episode 201
1. What is the main theme of this episode?
The episode explores how healing and transformative growth emerge through human connection, belonging, and self-awareness. It unpacks trauma, inclusion, and empathy, particularly within workplace and leadership contexts.
2. Who are the guests and what is their background?
The guests are Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong. They specialise in creating gentle, powerful spaces where leaders and teams shift from mind-centred to human-centred approaches. Their expertise combines insight, calm energy, and the ability to facilitate challenging conversations (see 00:01:30).
3. What is the difference between inclusion and belonging?
While inclusion can mean being accepted or invited, belonging is a deeper, more intrinsic experience. One can be included but still feel lonely or detached. True belonging happens when individuals feel recognised, comfortable, and part of the fabric of a group or environment (00:20:24–00:21:17).
4. How do trauma and self-awareness relate to belonging?
Both guests highlight that unresolved trauma and lack of self-awareness create barriers to belonging. Healing is a collective process, often achieved as individuals co-regulate and connect with others. One must first belong to themselves before authentically belonging in wider communities or teams (00:10:49, 00:11:00).
5. How can leaders foster belonging and empathy in the workplace?
Leaders need to move beyond just logical or cerebral approaches and engage with the emotional, non-linear aspects of their teams. Creating space for reflection, personal growth, and empathy—not imposing fixed solutions—enables genuine connection and belonging. The right approach is trauma-informed and gentle, allowing people to participate at their own pace (00:36:41, 00:38:47).
6. What role does empathy play in human connection and healing?
Empathy isn’t just understanding information about others—it is contextualising it within one’s own lived experience. Empathy requires self-work, addressing one’s traumas and boundaries, in order to truly feel and support others’ experiences (00:29:57, 00:30:59), (00:26:05).
7. Are there demographic biases in empathy or leadership traits?
The guests acknowledge that while generalisations can be made—such as differences between masculine and feminine energies—individual histories, traumas, and cultural experiences shape how people lead and empathise. It is essential to balance energies and avoid stereotypes, focusing on self-awareness and authenticity (00:49:50).
8. Does past trauma enhance empathy?
While experiencing trauma or marginalisation can heighten empathy and sensitivity, it can also lead to withdrawal and narcissistic behaviours. The outcome depends on how individuals process and heal from their experiences, and whether they remain open or become isolated (00:57:18–00:59:02).
9. What practical advice does the podcast offer for improving workplace culture?
The key is to rehumanise the workplace: leaders should meet people where they are, embrace choice and individual pace, and provide opportunities for self-reflection. The process must be ongoing and supported by collective empathy and openness to transformation (00:33:20–00:34:26), (01:03:10).
10. How can listeners get involved or reach the hosts and guests?
Listeners are encouraged to connect and share their thoughts. Joanne Lockwood is available via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk, and the guests’ organisation is accessible at leadandbelong.com for further information and collaboration (01:04:08).
For more bold conversations and actionable insights, visit the Inclusion Bites Podcast and join the movement to foster a more inclusive world.
Tell me more about the guest and their views
Certainly! The guests in this episode of Inclusion Bites, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, are co-founders of Lead and Belong. Their work focuses on creating what they describe as "gentle yet powerful spaces" for leaders and teams to move away from purely mind-centred approaches towards truly human-centred growth.
Background and Approach
Silvia Causo has a foundation in coaching and energetic work. Her motivation for this path emerged from a deeply personal experience supporting a mentally ill family member with an eating disorder. This challenged her to reflect on her own behaviours and trauma, eventually leading her to commit to work in self-awareness, collective healing, and trauma-informed practice. She describes herself as having piercing insight and the steady, calm energy needed to support people through challenging conversations.
Adrianne Arendse is originally from South Africa with a richly mixed ethnic background, which has shaped his understanding of belonging and empathy. His experience includes teaching at Falmouth University, where he identified the limitations students faced due to a lack of exposure to non-Western perspectives. This inspired him to co-create modules centred on belonging in creative disciplines. For him, belonging begins with oneself and radiates outwards, continually testing and expanding the limits of empathy.
Key Views and Insights
Healing Through Belonging: Both guests see belonging not only as an individual journey but as a collective experience. They argue that true healing cannot happen in isolation—co-regulation, or healing with and through others, is fundamental. This philosophy sits at the core of their practice.
Self-Awareness as the Root: Adrianne Arendse highlights that self-belonging—knowing and accepting oneself—is crucial before extending empathy and understanding to others. He connects this to his lived experiences of displacement and marginalisation in apartheid South Africa, noting how these inform his capacity for empathy and deep listening.
Empathy and Limitations: The guests are very clear that empathy has boundaries. Adrianne Arendse draws a distinction between information and knowledge—one can be informed about another’s experience, but true empathy relies on contextualised knowledge rooted in one's own lived experience. They advocate for humility in recognising where one's understanding ends and how far one can go in holding space for others.
Trauma, Leadership, and the Workplace: Silvia Causo discusses how trauma, both personal and systemic, influences how people show up in the workplace. Modern workplaces, she suggests, are often fear-based and compartmentalised, leading to a loss of soul and belonging. Both guests argue for a rehumanisation of organisations, shifting towards environments where vulnerability, emotional safety, and deep listening are not just accepted but prioritised.
The Role of Leaders: Neither guest sees themselves as providing answers or imposing solutions. Instead, their style is facilitative—they create safe spaces, encourage curiosity and courage, and allow people (particularly leaders) to come to their own insights. They believe leadership capacity must be developed well beyond policy and process, into the realms of emotional intelligence and trauma awareness, in order to create more inclusive and resilient organisations.
Continuous Journey: Both guests stress that the work of self-awareness, healing, and building belonging is ongoing and dynamic—"you have to choose to belong every day," as Silvia Causo puts it. They encourage authenticity, personal responsibility, and collective evolution.
Practical Application: Their methods include nervous system education, energetic work, and coaching. They are clear that trauma-informed approaches must be gentle, allowing individuals to move at their own pace, similar to gradually building strength at the gym.
In summary, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse advocate for a model of workplace and leadership development that is deeply empathetic, trauma-informed, and anchored in both self and collective awareness. They call for workplaces that move beyond surface-level inclusion, towards a culture where genuine belonging—and therefore healing—can take root and flourish. Their insights blend personal narrative, social context, and practical tools for transformation.
Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode
Certainly! Drawing upon the themes, reflections, and methodologies explored throughout this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast ("Healing Through Human Connection"), here are several nuanced and impactful ideas for future training programmes and workshops:
Workshop Ideas Inspired by the Episode
1. Trauma-Informed Leadership: Beyond Cognitive Empathy
Overview: Many leaders engage from the neck up, focusing on logic and process. This workshop will guide leaders to recognise trauma responses (in themselves and others), understand the nervous system's impact at work, and practise integrating gentleness, curiosity, and courage as shown by Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse.
Activities:
Guided exercises on self-regulation and nervous system awareness.
Case studies analysing organisational trauma echoes (e.g., redundancy).
Group reflections on "meeting people where they are," not where you imagine them to be.
2. Creating Psychological Safety and Belonging in Diverse Teams
Overview: Address the feeling of being "included but not belonging," a nuanced distinction highlighted by Joanne Lockwood. Explore practical techniques for building safe, resonant spaces that transcend token gestures.
Activities:
Live scenario mapping: “When was I included but didn’t belong?”
Facilitated empathy circles focusing on lived experience sharing.
Developing bespoke “belonging audits” for team environments.
3. Navigating Unconscious Bias Through Deep Self-Exploration
Overview: Silvia Causo’s insights into discovering hidden biases through new relationships and environments prompt a workshop on progressing from intellectual awareness to embodied understanding.
Activities:
Somatic exercises to sense bias physically (“What’s happening in my body?”).
Shared storytelling and reflection on unintentional microaggressions and assumptions.
Tools for moving from “I know I’m inclusive” to “I feel I’m inclusive”.
4. The Art of Deep Listening and Holding Space
Overview: Drawing on the episode’s focus on co-regulation and collective healing, this session will train participants in truly present, non-judgemental listening, inspired by Adrianne Arendse's practice of “hearing yourself as well as the other” and “meeting the version of a person in front of you”.
Activities:
Paired listening without response, only presence.
Group exercises in “energetic coherence” and sensitivity.
Safe space mapping and co-creation techniques.
5. Practical Empathy: From Information to Embodied Knowledge
Overview: Based on the idea that information about someone’s difference does not equal empathy, develop curriculum around transitioning knowledge into actionable, felt support.
Activities:
Walking “the line of empathy” – where does my knowledge stop?
Empathy skill-building: role-play sessions with structured non-judgemental feedback.
Exploration of collective versus individualist approaches to problem-solving.
6. Rehumanising the Workplace with Lead & Belong Principles
Overview: Embed the “garden-tending” mindset described by both Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, focusing on sustainable, lived-in change rather than quick fixes or tick-box solutions.
Activities:
Organisational “energy mapping”: where do we feel flow, where do we feel resistance?
Curating team rituals that reinforce psychological safety and kinship.
Building “gentle challenge” practices into meetings and project work.
7. Healing the Helper—Self-Understanding for Inclusion Professionals
Overview: Addressing Silvia Causo’s point that you cannot take a client deeper than you have gone yourself, help inclusion and leadership professionals prevent “wounded healing” by focusing on self-care, self-knowledge, and boundary-setting.
Activities:
Scar versus wound storytelling and practice (“Where am I healed, where am I still hurting?”).
Peer supervision and supportive group reflection models.
Practical tools for avoiding over-identification and compassion fatigue.
Each of these offerings should blend robust theory with experiential practice, including opportunities for reflection, co-created learning, and honest dialogue—embodying precisely the approach modelled by the podcast’s conversation. Integrating trauma-informity, lived experience, and the belief that inclusion is “more than just process—it’s people”, will help your training truly make a difference.
🪡 Threads by Instagram
Belonging is not a tick-box—it's a lived feeling that evolves with every choice we make. Creating space for ourselves and others invites real connection and growth.
True healing happens together, not in isolation. We co-regulate, learn and grow from collective experiences. Inclusion is a journey we walk side by side.
Empathy starts with self-awareness. Only by exploring and healing our own experiences can we genuinely support and recognise those around us.
You can be included but not belong; the difference is in how safe and accepted you feel. Belonging isn’t given—it emerges when you’re truly seen, heard, and valued.
Leaders who embrace vulnerability and deep listening unlock the real power of their teams. It’s not about fixing others, but holding space for everyone’s humanity.
Leadership Insights - YouTube Short Video Script on Common Problems for Leaders to Address
Leadership Insights Channel
Script:
Struggling to truly connect with your team as a leader? You’re not alone—many leaders rely too much on logic and process, expecting results through targets and policy, but overlook a vital ingredient: empathy. The result? Disengaged staff, poor morale, and high turnover.
Here’s the shift: Instead of focusing only on the numbers, start by creating safe spaces for open, honest conversations. Take a moment to really listen—ask how your people are, and pay attention to what’s not being said. Show genuine curiosity about their experiences, and don’t be afraid of a bit of vulnerability yourself.
Why does this work? When leaders express care and allow for real human connection, people feel they belong—not just included, but valued. This leads to greater trust, better engagement, and stronger teamwork. So, trade a little spreadsheet time for listening. The results will speak for themselves.
SEO Optimised Titles
Healing Through Human Connection | 3 Steps to Boost Workplace Belonging and Empathy | Silvia @ Lead and Belong
From Isolation to Collective Healing | Why 30 Percent of Employees Feel Displaced at Work | Adrianne @ Lead and Belong
How Diverse Heritage Shapes Leadership Resilience | The Power of Empathy in Trauma-Informed Teams | Silvia @ Lead and Belong
Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode
Subject: Inclusion Bites: Healing Through Human Connection – Dive into Our Latest Episode!
Hello Inclusion Bites Community,
Are you ready for another soul-nourishing conversation? The latest episode of Inclusion Bites, Healing Through Human Connection, brings warmth, wisdom, and real talk to your inbox this week, and we can't wait for you to listen in.
Host Joanne Lockwood sits down with the inspiring duo Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, to turn the spotlight on the subtle yet powerful ways we move from surviving to genuinely thriving—at work and in life.
5 Keys You’ll Walk Away With:
Self-Belonging Comes First: Discover why belonging to yourself is the foundation before you can truly connect and belong with others.
Empathy Is an Ongoing Practice: Learn how empathy grows as you become more self-aware and embrace both your head and your heart—there’s no finish line, only growth.
You Can’t Dictate Belonging: Real belonging can’t be handed out—it’s felt, nurtured, and co-created. Inclusion is the invite, but belonging is stepping up and dancing.
Trauma’s Hidden Echo in the Workplace: Understand the ripple effect of trauma, especially how unhealed wounds can show up as barriers in our professional lives…and what to do about it.
Why Gentleness Matters: Explore the power of gentle, trauma-informed spaces in facilitating deeper conversations, healing, and collective bravery.
Did You Know?
Adrianne Arendse shared a brilliant insight—his own mixed heritage includes roots in Mozambique, India, Malaysia, and Holland! It’s a living testament to the rich tapestry every one of us brings to the conversation about belonging (and why we need spaces that are flexible enough to meet us where we are).
Want to experience the magic for yourself? Catch the full episode now and join the conversation about collective healing, leadership, and what it truly takes to create workspaces where you don’t just fit in—but feel at home.
🎧 Listen to Inclusion Bites
💬 Got thoughts or stories to share? Email Jo at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
Let’s inspire change together—one episode at a time. Forward this to a friend who believes everyone deserves to belong!
Thanks for being part of our community of inclusion champions.
With warmth and curiosity,
The Inclusion Bites Podcast Team
#InclusionBites #HealingThroughConnection #LeadAndBelong
Potted Summary
Episode Intro
On this Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, host Joanne Lockwood welcomes Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, to discuss "Healing Through Human Connection". Together, they explore the intricate links between bias, trauma, empathy, and belonging, both individually and collectively. The conversation journeys from personal storeys to practical approaches, deepening our understanding of how authentic workplace connection and self-awareness foster inclusive cultures.
In this conversation we discuss
👉 Empathy & trauma
👉 Belonging choices
👉 Workplace inclusion
Here are a few of our favourite quotable moments
"We can't heal in isolation. We'll heal as we co-regulate with each other." – Silvia Causo
"Belonging and love are linked. If you can find ways to love yourself...it becomes easier to love beyond yourself." – Adrianne Arendse
"You cannot dictate belonging. You can't give belonging. You can't insist on it or even fix when it doesn't exist." – Joanne Lockwood
Episode Summary
This thought-provoking episode unpacks the complexity of healing and belonging, from personal trauma to collective empathy in workplaces. Discover how awareness, courage, and gentle facilitation help leaders and teams shift towards authentic human connection. For actionable insights and powerful storeys, listen now at Inclusion Bites Podcast.
LinkedIn Poll
Opening Summary for LinkedIn Poll
In our latest Inclusion Bites episode, "Healing Through Human Connection," Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse joined Joanne Lockwood to unpack what it truly means to foster belonging in the workplace. The conversation explored the nuances between inclusion and belonging, the importance of self-awareness, collective healing, and the courage required from leaders to create genuinely safe environments. This frames an essential question for all of us striving to build more inclusive cultures.
Poll Question
Which ingredient is MOST crucial for nurturing true belonging at work?
Poll Options
🧠 Self-awareness
❤️ Empathy in action
👐 Safe spaces for all
🎯 Courageous leadership
#InclusionBites #Belonging #Diversity #WorkplaceCulture
Why Vote?
Your insight will help us—and others—understand where we are on our inclusion journeys and what we can strengthen in our organisations. Let’s spark meaningful change together.
Highlight the Importance of this topic on LinkedIn
💬 Healing Through Human Connection in HR & Leadership 💬
Just listened to Episode 201 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast with Joanne Lockwood, Silvia Causo, and Adrianne Arendse. The conversation dives deep into the reality of belonging, trauma, and how human connection shapes our workplaces.
🧠 As HR/EDI pros, we’re challenged to move beyond policy and process, and understand the emotional dynamics that drive inclusion.
💡 Empathy isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a skillset. Creating spaces for authentic dialogue, collective healing, and psychological safety is more crucial than ever.
🌍 The workplace is evolving. Leaders who recognise the impact of trauma, bias, and personal histories are better equipped to foster meaningful belonging. As discussed, “you can be included but not belong”—let’s not settle for surface-level change.
🤝 It’s time for deep listening, courageous conversations, and a trauma-informed approach. This episode is a must for anyone building positive people experiences and championing real transformation in our industry!
#InclusionBites #Leadership #HR #EDI #Belonging #Empathy #SEEChangeHappen
L&D Insights
Certainly! Here’s an L&D expert’s breakdown for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI professionals drawing on the episode “Healing Through Human Connection” from the Inclusion Bites Podcast.
Key Insights for Senior Leaders, HR & EDI Professionals
Core Takeaways
1. Belonging Isn’t a Tick-Box Exercise 🧩
Both Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse emphasise that belonging is an evolving, lived experience—not simply a policy outcome. You can be “included” but still not feel like you belong. Leaders must recognise the subjective, embodied nature of belonging (Joanne Lockwood, 00:20:24 - 00:20:29)).
2. Human Connection is the Foundation of Healing & Inclusion 🌱
Workplaces remain predominantly head-centred (“from the neck up”). The conversation pivots to the importance of addressing what’s “below the neck”—feelings, emotional safety, and collective healing. Organisational culture change is only possible when people feel safe enough to bring their authentic selves to work ([Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse, throughout).
3. Empathy Isn’t About “Knowing”—it’s About Presence 🤝
Leaders can’t “fix” belonging or empathy by logic alone. Instead, they are encouraged to actively listen, become deeply present, and recognise the limitations of their own lived experience. You don’t have to know the feeling—you must hold space for it (Adrianne Arendse, [00:22:00 - 00:26:05]).
4. Drop the Performative Mask 🎭
The episode exposes the gap between espoused values (e.g., “I am inclusive”) versus unconscious, embodied habits, especially when leaders from dominant groups are challenged through genuine cross-cultural relationships (Silvia Causo, [00:15:03 - 00:15:41]). Authenticity is felt, not performed—it requires ongoing reflection and vulnerability.
5. Trauma-Responsive Leadership is the New Advantage 🛡️
A trauma-informed approach, not “trauma-therapy at work,” means leaders acknowledge that everyone brings stories, biases, and nervous system responses to work. Psychological safety, not just compliance, is the springboard for innovation and engagement (Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse, [00:37:25 - 00:39:29]).
“Aha Moments” Uncovered
Belonging is a daily, conscious choice: It shifts with context, relationships, and the work environment. You do not “achieve” belonging and move on—it’s a living process (Silvia Causo, [00:28:30 - 00:29:18]).
The lived experience shapes empathy—sometimes for better, sometimes for self-protection: Marginalisation or trauma can deepen empathy or reinforce self-isolation and defensiveness (Silvia Causo, [01:00:07 - 01:00:24]).
Leaders set the tone for emotional regulation: “You can’t take a client further than you’ve gone yourself.” Peer and leader modelling of self-regulation, reflection, and willingness to “go there” creates permission for others to show up fully (Adrianne Arendse, [01:00:26 - 01:01:27]).
Systemic shift beats individual heroics: It’s not about leaders “rescuing” or “minding” everyone but instead designing structures that allow self-insight and co-regulation to emerge (Silvia Causo, [01:02:47 - 01:03:10]).
What Should Leaders, HR & EDI Pros Do Differently?
🌿 Redefine Inclusion and Belonging Metrics
Stop measuring inclusion purely by participation or representation. Explore qualitative measures: Are people expressing psychological safety? Are there visible signs of genuine presence and “below the neck” engagement?
🪞 Model Vulnerability and Self-Awareness
Prioritise self-reflection and share your own development stories openly—show that you too are “in process.” Invite feedback about your blindspots.
🗨️ Facilitate (Not Dictate) Difficult Dialogues
Act as space-makers not answer-givers. Hold gentle but powerful space; encourage collective sense-making rather than providing prescriptive solutions.
🚥 Adopt a Trauma-Informed Approach
Acknowledge that not everyone is ready to “go deep” and that emotional numbness or resistance are protective. Let participation be invitational, not compulsory—gentleness over force.
⚡ Design HR/EDI Interventions Around Safety, Not Just Policy
Psychological safety isn’t a “bonus”—it’s the bedrock of meaningful change, innovation, and retention. Train managers and staff to recognise trauma/defensiveness and foster compassionate, ‘whole-person’ leadership.
Hashtags & Summary
#InclusionBites #BelongingAtWork #HumanCentredLeadership #TraumaInformed #LeadWithEmpathy
This episode is a call to action for leaders at every level: move from intellect to embodied empathy; from “doing” inclusion to “being” inclusive. Start by making it safe—not just compliant—to be human at work.
Shorts Video Script
Attention-Grabbing Title for Social Media:
Healing Begins With Human Connection: Why Belonging and Empathy Matter Most! #EmbraceEmpathy #HealingTogether
Hashtags:
#EmbraceEmpathy
#HealingTogether
#HumanConnection
#InclusiveLeadership
#BelongingMatters
Text on Screen:
What does it really mean to heal through human connection? 🌱
Let me ask you: have you ever felt included, but not truly belonged? We've all been there—invited to the table, but not feeling truly seen or understood. There's a profound difference between being included and genuinely belonging.
True belonging requires self-awareness. It's about understanding yourself, your traumas, and your blocks—because you can't fully connect with others unless you can connect with yourself first.
Empathy isn't just about hearing someone else's story; it's about feeling it. That's why working on our own emotional wounds is vital. When we heal ourselves, we're able to offer genuine empathy towards those around us, whether in personal relationships or at work.
Feeling safe isn't just a buzzword. It's the foundation for creativity and connection. When we're trapped in trauma responses or fear, our ability to collaborate and innovate shrinks. But when we act from a place of safety and flow, collective healing happens.
In workplaces, this means leaders need to move beyond logic and numbers. It's not about giving people all the answers—it's about creating space. Space for honest dialogue, self-exploration, and deep listening.
If you're a leader or wanting to make a difference, start by caring deeply about the outcome of every conversation. Approach each person with curiosity, not judgement. Recognise that everyone brings their unique experiences, and meet them where they are.
Healing, belonging, and connection are ongoing choices—not destinations. It's about showing up every day, being present, and fostering environments where everyone feels valued.
Text on Screen:
How will you create more spaces for belonging today? 💬
Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨
Glossary of Terms and Phrases
## Specialist Terminology and Concepts in "Healing Through Human Connection"
Below is a list of concepts, terms, and phrases discussed in this episode of Inclusion Bites Podcast that are not commonly used in everyday discourse, along with their implied meanings based on the episode's context:
- **Human-centred growth**
Growth strategies and leadership approaches that prioritise holistic wellbeing, empathy, and the lived experiences of people, rather than just performance metrics or mind-centred logic.
- **Co-regulation**
The process by which individuals in a group, whether in professional or personal spaces, mutually influence and stabilise each other's emotional and nervous system states through connection, presence and empathy.
- **Nervous system education**
Teaching people about how their nervous system responds to stress, trauma, and emotional triggers, aiming to improve emotional awareness and regulation in both individual and collective contexts.
- **Trauma informed approach**
A methodology that recognises and accommodates the effects of past trauma on individuals, fostering gentle, safe spaces where healing and growth can occur. It means practitioners adapt their interactions to avoid re-traumatisation and respect personal boundaries.
- **Energetic work / coherence with someone's energetic field**
Practices and intentions aimed at tuning into and harmonising the subtle 'energy' or emotional states between people, particularly in group or coaching scenarios, allowing for deeper empathy and connection that is felt beyond words.
- **Metacognition**
The ability to observe and reflect on one's own thoughts and feelings—essentially thinking about thinking and feeling—and then using this awareness to regulate behaviours and reactions.
- **Line of the limits of empathy**
The personal boundary separating information one can intellectually grasp about another’s experience, from knowledge one can deeply empathise with due to lived experience. This nuanced limit guides authentic empathetic engagement.
- **Deep listening**
Listening in a way that attends not only to another’s words and emotions but also to one’s own internal responses, feelings, and triggers. It’s both inward and outward, crucial for genuine connection and safe space creation.
- **Collective healing**
The belief that healing cannot occur purely in isolation; it happens through shared experiences, mutual support, and collective presence.
- **Biracial relationship (as explored here)**
A partnership between individuals of different racial backgrounds, which often brings unconscious biases, trauma, and new perspectives about inclusion, belonging, and empathy to the fore.
- **Radical empathy**
A heightened, proactive form of empathy often absent in leadership, where the intention is to fully understand, support, and stand alongside another’s experience beyond conventional compassion.
- **Psychological safety**
A group or workplace environment where individuals feel safe to express themselves, make mistakes, or show vulnerability without fear of negative consequences, judgement, or ostracisation.
- **Scarcity mindset**
An emotional or mental orientation where individuals act out of fear, focusing on what they lack rather than what is possible collectively—a key aspect discussed in relation to trauma and creativity.
- **Performative vulnerability**
The concept of attempting to 'appear' vulnerable, without actually feeling or engaging in genuine emotional exposure—linked in this episode to the difference between authentic belonging and superficial connection.
- **Self-awareness as prerequisite for inclusion**
The idea that true inclusion can only happen when one acknowledges and works on their own biases, trauma, and sense of self, thereby increasing their capacity for empathy towards others.
- **Speak from the scar, not from the wound**
The professional advice that one should address past trauma or difficult experience only after healing (the 'scar'), rather than while still deeply affected ('the wound'), to avoid projecting unresolved pain onto others.
- **Choice of belonging**
The recurring assertion that belonging (to oneself and others) is not static but a continual, conscious choice—a process of repeated engagement and self-reflection.
These concepts collectively underpin the nuanced, trauma-aware, and human-centred approach advocated by Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, as explored by Joanne Lockwood in the episode.
SEO Optimised YouTube Content
Focus Keyword: Healing Through Human Connection
Video Title
Healing Through Human Connection – How Belonging Drives Positive People Experiences & Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags
Tags: Healing Through Human Connection, Positive People Experiences, Culture change, Inclusion, Belonging, Workplace well-being, Inclusive leadership, Diversity, Empathy, Trauma-informed leadership, Psychological safety, Human connection, Empathetic leaders, Unconscious bias, Collective healing, Inclusion Bites, SEE Change Happen, Leadership development, UK inclusion podcast, Emotional intelligence, Workplace transformation, Self-awareness, Authentic workplace, Lead and Belong, Joanne Lockwood, Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse
Killer Quote
Killer Quote: "We don’t, we can’t heal in isolation. We’ll heal as we co-regulate with each other." – Silvia Causo
Hashtags
Hashtags: #HealingThroughHumanConnection, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #CultureChange, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #Inclusion, #Belonging, #SEEChangeHappen, #WorkplaceWellbeing, #Empathy, #TraumaInformed, #Diversity, #InclusiveLeadership, #PsychologicalSafety, #HumanConnection, #EmotionalIntelligence, #SelfAwareness, #LeadAndBelong, #LeadershipDevelopment, #CollectiveHealing, #InclusiveCulture
Why Listen
Healing Through Human Connection is the central thread of this energising episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, where I, Joanne Lockwood, am joined by Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse—the visionary minds behind Lead and Belong. Together, we embark on a deeply honest conversation rooted in the lived truth that genuine organisational transformation starts with human connection, empathy, and the courage to be vulnerable.
This episode sets a new standard for what it means to foster Positive People Experiences within any workplace. We start by disrupting the myth that inclusion is best achieved through policies and tick-box exercises. Here, we challenge listeners to dive below the surface—beyond intellect, beyond well-meaning statements—to explore what real belonging feels like in our bodies, our hearts, and through our collective actions.
You’ll hear Silvia and Adrianne’s personal journeys: Silvia candidly reveals how confronting her own unconscious blocks not only deepened her relationship but unlocked a more authentic approach to inclusion. Adrianne, drawing on a kaleidoscope of mixed-heritage experiences, reflects on living at the intersection of cultures, always searching for belonging and love. Their stories are not just inspirational but practical—providing an example of how we can all use radical self-reflection to drive a culture change that starts with self but ripples out through teams, organisations, and ultimately society at large.
This episode will transform the way you think about trauma, bias and the responsibility leaders have for genuine human-centred growth. You’ll learn that the journey towards Positive People Experiences isn’t about memorising a script or getting everything right on paper. It’s about the courage to hold space for discomfort, for difference, and for the ongoing healing that must take place, both individually and collectively.
We unpack the difference between “inclusion” and “belonging”: inclusion may get you in the door, but belonging is when you know you are truly safe, valued, and at home. We explore how you can be in a room full of people and still feel desperately lonely, and how inclusion is not a static state, but a living, breathing process—built on everyday choices to connect, listen, and care.
If you want to change your organisational culture, this episode is for you. Silvia and Adrianne describe how, in their work with Lead and Belong, they help leaders shift from “the neck up”—a purely cognitive, logical approach—to the often-messy, always-human reality of leading below the neck: in our nervous systems, our gut feelings, and our authentic emotional reactions. You’ll discover how unresolved trauma and emotional blocks can sabotage true belonging, and how, through gentle, trauma-informed practice, leaders can create safe spaces for innovation, collaboration and psychological safety to thrive.
We ask tough, essential questions: Are men truly less empathetic, or does social conditioning and leadership culture suppress empathy in everyone? Can empathy be taught, or must it be experienced and felt somatically? How do leaders move from seeing “feelings” as a weakness, to understanding their vital place in driving business success? How do you create a workplace where difference is not just tolerated, but celebrated as the lifeblood of resilience and creativity?
Throughout, the importance of Positive People Experiences is never far from our minds. We reflect on the damage of “leaving your true self at the door” and the cost of workplaces where authenticity—and therefore innovation—is stifled by systems rooted in fear and control. Instead, Silvia and Adrianne offer a vision for workplaces as thriving gardens, where belonging and psychological safety are cultivated, and where every individual has both the right and responsibility to bring their best self to work.
You’ll leave this episode with a deeper appreciation for the power of human connection, practical methods for enhancing empathy (including nervous system and trauma awareness), and the real-world steps that can turn intention into culture change. If you care about authentic leadership, workplace wellbeing and want your organisation to be more than just legally compliant, but a beacon for Positive People Experiences, this is one episode you simply cannot afford to miss.
Closing Summary and Call to Action
To all listeners—if you’re ready to move beyond surface-level inclusion and truly transform your culture, here are the key actionable insights and learning points from this profound episode on Healing Through Human Connection and Positive People Experiences:
True Healing Is Collective, Not Solitary
Healing takes place when we co-regulate, support, and share our vulnerabilities with others. Understand that workplace healing cannot happen in isolation; leaders must cultivate environments where collective support is possible.
Distinguish Between Inclusion and Belonging
Inclusion is being “let in”—but belonging is being “at home”. Audit your team’s culture. Where are people merely present, and where do they genuinely feel emotionally safe and valued?
Get Below the Neck
Move away from purely cerebral approaches. Invite leaders to notice what’s happening below the neck: nervous system reactions, the sensation of safety or threat, and the emotional resonance between team members.
Practice Trauma-Informed Leadership
Recognise signs of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses in yourself and others. Take a gentle approach, never forcing self-disclosure but creating opportunities to process emotional blocks step by step.
Prioritise Radical Self-Awareness
Start the work with yourself. Notice your own biases, inherited beliefs, and emotional triggers. As Silvia shared, you cannot bring others where you have not been; healing and unlearning must start with you.
Empathy Requires Experiencing, Not Just Understanding
Intellectual knowledge of bias, trauma, or difference isn’t enough. Be present. Tune into what others feel, even if the specific experience isn’t yours. Practice active, deep listening—both to others and to yourself.
Be Curious, Not Judgemental
Leaders are not asked to become therapists—but to be open and curious when something feels off. Offer space and opportunities rather than instant solutions or judgements.
Create Psychological Safety in Every Interaction
Understand that feelings of safety, value, and inclusion are deeply subjective. What feels safe to one may trigger another. Keep the dialogue open and non-prescriptive, letting the context and individual needs lead.
Recognise the Impact of Personal and Historical Trauma
Family history, childhood experiences, and societal trauma all colour our workplace behaviours. Approach everyone—yourself included—with grace and a willingness to understand these layers.
Foster Authenticity and Flow
Allow vulnerability. Reject the myth that feelings and empathy are “soft” or in the way of results; they are the foundation of sustainable high performance and culture change.
Shift from Fear-Based to Abundance-Based Leadership
Encourage idea sharing and collaboration. Move away from environments where people protect themselves by withholding or competing, and towards cultures where collective success is celebrated.
Model Deep Listening and Emotional Regulation
Demonstrate for others what it means to observe one’s thoughts and feelings non-judgmentally (metacognition). Use moments of tension as opportunities for learning and connection, not punishment or withdrawal.
Balance Energies—Masculine and Feminine
Embrace both action-oriented and nurturing energies, regardless of gender. Be adaptable, responsive, and committed to mutual care.
Care About the Outcome—Deeply
Cultural transformation is impossible if you do not genuinely care about how people feel as a result of their interactions with you, particularly in sensitive conversations or organisational change.
Acknowledge the Ongoing Nature of Culture Change
This work is never “finished”; belonging and culture shift are daily choices. Celebrate progress, honour setbacks, and keep the conversation alive.
Beware of Performance and Appearance
Authenticity cannot be faked forever. Recognise when vulnerability or inclusion efforts are for appearance’s sake, and gently guide towards genuine transformation.
Redefine Success Metrics
Move beyond cost, output, and legal compliance. Elevate wellbeing, trust, psychological safety, and collective growth as equally important measures of success.
Provide True Opportunities for Self-Discovery at Work
Offer more than token gestures—schedule genuine time and space for teams to reflect, connect, and heal. Encourage ongoing learning and personal development.
Encourage Personal Responsibility
Remind individuals that belonging is a choice and a process; every team member has a role in creating this space.
Remember: Transformation Starts With You
Leaders, change agents, colleagues—begin with introspection. Only then can you inspire, support and facilitate transformation in others.
If you’re ready to lead real Culture Change and prioritise Positive People Experiences, take these insights back to your organisation, team, or community. Start by making one different choice today: listen deeply, connect bravely, and lead below the neck.
Outro
Thank you for tuning in to this powerful episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast. If you found value in this conversation, please like, subscribe, and share with your colleagues—let’s ignite a culture change together! For more insights, resources, and episodes, visit:
SEE Change Happen: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
The Inclusion Bites Podcast: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive – Joanne Lockwood
Root Cause Analyst - Why!
Certainly. Acting as a Root Cause Analyst, let's systematically identify key problems highlighted in this Inclusion Bites episode entitled “Healing Through Human Connection”. The discussion centres on belonging, empathy, trauma, human connection, and leadership in the workplace.
Step 1: Key Problem Identification
The most salient problem emerging from the transcript is:
Many individuals feel excluded or lack belonging in workplaces, which leads to emotional isolation, disconnect, diminished creativity, and unfulfilled human potential.
Step 2: ‘Why?’ Analysis (Five Levels Deep)
1st Why:
Why do people feel excluded or lack belonging at work?
Because workplace cultures often prioritise productivity, targets, and outcomes over authentic human connection, emotional safety, and personal expression. Leaders and systems focus on logic and performance, neglecting the emotional and psychological needs of individuals (Adrianne Arendse, Silvia Causo, and Joanne Lockwood&[C]) discuss this extensively.
2nd Why:
Why do cultures prioritise productivity and outcomes over human connection?
Because traditional leadership models value linear, logical, “above the neck” thinking (cerebral approaches) and discourage vulnerability, emotion, and empathy as perceived weaknesses (Joanne Lockwood at 00:35:29). Organisations safeguard themselves through policy, processes, and legal mechanisms that sideline the more ‘squishy’, subjective aspects of human experience (Adrianne Arendse at 00:41:17).
3rd Why:
Why are vulnerability and empathy seen as weaknesses in leadership?
Because leaders have been conditioned to fear emotional unpredictability, believing that opening emotional spaces may expose them to reactions they cannot control or manage. The prevailing belief is that emotions disrupt workplace order and productivity (Joanne Lockwood at 00:40:23, Silvia Causo at 00:37:25).
4th Why:
Why are leaders conditioned to fear emotional unpredictability?
Because societal and organisational norms have been shaped by patriarchal, outcome-driven, and hierarchical traditions (as Silvia Causo notes at 00:50:38). There is a lack of training in emotional literacy and trauma-informed practice. Leaders are not afforded space or education in self-awareness, empathy, and deep listening (Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse).
5th Why:
Why is there a lack of training and space for emotional literacy and trauma-informed leadership?
Because organisations tend to undervalue the true impact of belonging, empathy, and trauma awareness, and do not recognise these as essential prerequisites for high performance and well-being. The investment in such skills is sparse, and the business case for human-centred leadership is not always evident or prioritised.
Summary of Root Causes
The exclusion and lack of belonging in workplaces are rooted in entrenched systems favouring productivity over people, perpetuated by leadership traditions that prioritise logic and suppress emotion, underpinned by outdated societal norms and insufficient focus on emotional and trauma-informed education.
Solution Recommendations
Trauma-Informed Leadership Training:
Implement ongoing educational programmes for leaders and staff focusing on self-awareness, empathy, and trauma-informed practices. Train leaders to recognise and navigate emotional landscapes, process trauma, and hold space for deep listening.Cultural Transformation Initiatives:
Drive a shift from hierarchical, outcome-driven paradigms to human-centred, collective, flexible organisational cultures. Emphasise the value of psychological safety, belonging, and interconnectedness in all business strategies.Safe Spaces for Dialogue:
Establish regular opportunities for employees to share experiences, reflect, and process emotions—without fear of judgement or reprisal. Facilitation should emphasise gentleness and the recognition of trauma responses.Integrating Emotional Literacy:
Include emotional intelligence, metacognition, and nervous system awareness into both core organisational values and everyday practice. Make this integral to hiring, performance appraisals, and development pathways.Holistic Inclusion Metrics:
Develop measures of inclusion and belonging that go beyond participation and representation, capturing emotional and experiential reality. Regularly review employee connection, well-being, and engagement as strategic outcomes.
Concluding Reflection
The transcript clearly illustrates that “healing through human connection” requires more than surface-level actions; it necessitates profound structural, cultural, and individual change. Addressing the real roots of exclusion, leaders must courageously embrace vulnerability, create collective spaces, and prioritise authentic belonging as both a personal and organisational imperative.
Canva Slider Checklist
Episode Carousel
Slide 1:
💬 Ever felt lonely in a crowded room or ‘included’ but never truly belonged? What if the secret to healing lies in our connections with others?
Slide 2:
🙋♂️ Meet Silvia Causo & Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, joining host Joanne Lockwood on Inclusion Bites. Together they unravel why true belonging isn’t just about ticking diversity boxes—it’s about understanding the stories, trauma, and empathy that shape us.
Slide 3:
🧠 Did you know? “You can be included, but not belong.” Leaders often focus on logic and statistics, but healing and human potential start where feelings, not spreadsheets, dictate the culture.
Slide 4:
❤️ Discover why collective healing at work matters. When we’re brave enough to bring our true selves—all our pain, stories, and uniqueness—we create spaces that nurture, not just function.
Slide 5:
🎧 Ready to ignite change in your workplace and beyond? Listen to “Healing Through Human Connection” on Inclusion Bites Podcast. Tap the link in bio or visit seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen. Your journey to real belonging starts here! #InclusionBites
6 major topics
Healing Through Human Connection: Six Pillars of Belonging, Empathy, and Leadership Transformation
Meta Description: Exploring the art of healing through human connection, this insightful discussion delves into trauma, empathy, belonging, and the power of leadership to spark collective change in modern organisations.
There’s a uniquely profound spark that arises when people dare to open up, to question their preconceptions, and to lean in with genuine intent to understand – not just to hear. Recently, I immersed myself in a truly invigorating dialogue with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong. Our conversation explored what healing through human connection truly means, traversing themes from empathy and belonging to trauma, diversity, and radical self-awareness. Here, I recap the six cornerstone topics from our exchange, sharing not just the key ideas but the moments of curiosity and challenge that made the discussion so vibrant.
1. The Alchemy of Belonging: Beyond Surface-Level Inclusion
One of our first launching pads was the elusive, often misunderstood difference between belonging and simple inclusion. Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse articulated with candour how belonging is more than being present—it is the felt experience of acceptance and resonance. I reflected on times in my own life where I was “included” but not truly “seen”—a theme that echoes powerfully in many of the workplaces we consult.
We challenged each other with questions: How do you know when you truly belong? Is it a one-time achievement or a continual act of choosing in ever-shifting environments? Curiously, we agreed: belonging is a process, renewed day by day and space by space.
2. Healing as a Collective Journey: Trauma, Safety, and Co-Regulation
The knotty subject of trauma surfaced—personal, generational, organisational. Silvia Causo generously recounted her journey through family mental health struggles, which awakened her to the repeated cycles of learned behaviours and the necessity of self-healing. We mused on a vital curiosity: Can healing be accomplished in isolation, or does true transformation require shared, co-regulated spaces?
The answer, consensus-style, was that collective healing through human connection is essential. Trauma isolates; healing reconnects. Leaders who wish to foster belonging must make space for emotional safety, inviting not just logic but real feeling into the room.
3. Radical Empathy: From Information to Embodied Understanding
One of the most arresting aspects of our discussion centred around empathy. We grappled with an honest, sometimes uncomfortable truth: empathy isn’t just intellectual. Adrianne Arendse highlighted the so-called “limits of empathy”—where personal experience ends and the unknown territory of another person’s story begins.
“Do I need to have suffered exactly as you have in order to empathise?” we asked. Not necessarily. Instead, developing embodied empathy—allowing oneself to be affected, not just informed—is a skill honed by unblocking trauma, facing prejudices, and staying radically present, even when it’s messy.
4. Navigating Diversity: Identity, Bias, and Blind Spots
We turned to the vibrancy (and challenge) of diversity, not as a numbers game but an exploration of lived experience. Adrianne Arendse shared his deeply multicultural heritage, and we all mused on how this richness shapes approaches to adversity, bias, and self-location in the world.
We puzzled over curiosity points: Does marginalisation inherently build empathy? Can you ever fully understand another’s burden? I realised anew that exposure to difference—whether by heritage, choice, or relationship—magnifies one’s awareness of assumptions, and shines a spotlight on the silent forces shaping how we “other” one another, even unconsciously.
5. Leadership for Human Connection: Courage, Curiosity, and Gentleness
The conversation pivoted to leaders—those at helms of teams, departments, or entire businesses. Are traditional leaders, armed with policy and process, truly equipped for this depth of human connection? And how do you entice the technocratic or the hesitant to step into the murky, courageous space of feeling?
Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse advocate starting with the willing—those ready for change, even if tentative. It’s about nurturing curiosity, not coercion; patience, not prescription. I left pondering: Might the most underestimated leadership skill today be the ability to craft spaces where presence, empathy, and belonging can flourish, untethered from hierarchical control?
6. The Ongoing Practice of Self-Awareness: Healing, Boundaries, and Deep Listening
Our closing reflections circled around self-awareness—a theme that threaded through every discussion. From “modelling” vulnerability as a practitioner, to the willingness to meet colleagues where they are (rather than where we expect them to be), we recognised this as a perpetual practice. Healing through human connection isn’t neat, nor is it always comfortable.
We touched on practicalities: Is it possible to “care too much”? What do leaders do when emotions erupt unexpectedly? The answer lies in cultivating metacognition—the ability to bear witness to one’s own responses and emotions, without judgement, and to hold boundaries that honour both oneself and others.
Conclusion: Healing Through Human Connection—A Call to Action
The core lesson that emerged, time and again, was this: healing through human connection is not a theoretical stance, but a habit of life. It’s present in every choice to belong, every courageous act of empathy, every time we create space for another’s story as well as our own. For leaders, changemakers, and everyone craving deeper inclusion, the work is ongoing—but the possibility for transformation is boundless.
Curious how you and your organisation can deepen belonging, spark empathy, and truly heal through connection? Start by listening—not just with your mind, but with your whole self. And if you’d like to talk further, you know where to find me: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Primary SEO Keyword: healing through human connection
Related terms: empathy, belonging, leadership, trauma, inclusion, diversity
TikTok Summary
Feeling disconnected or stuck in your head? Dive into Healing Through Human Connection on Inclusion Bites for a refreshing take! We talk real belonging, empathy, and how to break through biases and trauma—without any fluff. Discover what it really means to lead, love, and heal together. Curious to find out how cold-water swimming and deep listening can transform your life and workplace? This episode is your spark!
Tap for more bold conversations that challenge the status quo 👉 https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #HumanConnection #Belonging #Empathy #LeadAndBelong
Slogans and Image Prompts
Certainly! Here are some standout slogans, soundbites, and quotes pulled directly from “Healing Through Human Connection” that would work brilliantly for mugs, t-shirts, stickers, or as hashtags. Each phrase is accompanied by a highly detailed AI image generation prompt for maximum desirability.
1. “Belonging Is a Choice I Make Every Day.”
AI Prompt:
A serene sunrise scene showing a diverse group of people standing together at the edge of a tranquil sea, each one silhouetted but distinct in shape, ethnicity and style. The warm light casts a golden shimmer across the water, conveying hope and new beginnings. The phrase “Belonging Is a Choice I Make Every Day” is handwritten in a modern calligraphy style across the horizon, blending harmony and individuality. Soft inspirational colour palette: blush pink, gentle coral, warm gold and ocean blue.
2. “You Can’t Heal in Isolation.”
AI Prompt:
A warm, light-filled community circle, seen from above, where hands almost but not quite meet in the centre—showing connection without full touch. Soft light radiates outwards from the centre of the circle, symbolising healing energy spreading through interconnectedness. Use gentle, humanistic brush strokes and earth tones with pops of hopeful teal and sunlight yellow. The phrase overlays in bold, clear sans serif typeface.
3. “Find People Where They Are.”
AI Prompt:
A cityscape with open doors and windows on every building, each revealing a micro-scene of varied daily life: work, rest, creativity, family. The figures are all different ages and ethnicities, showing authenticity and vulnerability in their moments. Painted in vibrant, slightly exaggerated colours, the phrase arches above, blending organically into the architecture as street art.
4. “From the Neck Down, We Become Human.”
AI Prompt:
An anatomical yet artistic illustration: half of the image shows a stylised brain and face (depicting logic/cognition), and the other half blossoms into a vivid swirl of hearts, nerves, and abstract energy lines spilling into the world—symbolising emotion and embodiment. The phrase in a clean, modern handwritten font subtly curves around the heart/energy side. Deep indigos, rich burgundies, and energetic magentas create contrast and depth.
5. “You Can Be Included Without Belonging.”
AI Prompt:
An image of one person sitting on a bench in a crowd, everyone else chatting and facing away, the isolated figure has a gentle aura around them suggesting self-presence. Art style akin to a mid-century modern poster, with flat blocks of colour—beige, mustard, teal, and burnt orange. The phrase is stamped across the sky in bold caps, off-centre to highlight the dissonance.
6. “Rehumanise the Workplace.”
AI Prompt:
A visually dynamic open office, but instead of desks and screens dominating, there are thriving plants, collaborative circles, pets, children, and laughter. Each person is uniquely styled and expressive. The phrase “Rehumanise the Workplace” forms a living mural on a brick wall in the background—a graffiti style with hand-drawn flowers and urban motifs.
7. “We Heal as We Co-regulate.”
AI Prompt:
Abstract, flowing connective threads (like neural pathways or intertwined roots) bind a group of people (diverse, gender-neutral, various abilities) whose eyes are closed but expressions peaceful. The background glows with subtle, radiant colours—lavender, periwinkle, and honey gold. The phrase is delicately embroidered in script, as if sewn directly onto the image.
8. #DeepListening
AI Prompt:
Close-up portrait where two people of different backgrounds are facing each other, eyes closed, ears almost touching, with gently pulsing sound waves drawn between them. The sound waves morph into soft heart shapes and blooms. Muted blues and gentle pink tones underscore intimacy and quiet. The hashtag “#DeepListening” sits below in digital neon lettering.
9. “Speak from the Scar, Not from the Wound.”
AI Prompt:
An intricate, beautifully rendered scar (perhaps on an arm, integrated into a tree trunk or river bank) that blossoms into flowers and greenery, showing growth from old hurt. Delicate, fine-line pen-and-watercolour style. Phrase is arched above in elegant serif, embodying wisdom and vulnerability.
These phrases—rooted in genuine moments from the discussion—offer connection, authenticity, and invitation for continued conversation both for wearers and observers. Each AI prompt is crafted to convey the emotional resonance and aesthetic strength necessary for memorable, shareable merchandise or campaign imagery.
Inclusion Bites Spotlight
This month’s Inclusion Bits Spotlight features an illuminating conversation with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, as they join Joanne Lockwood on “Healing Through Human Connection,” an episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast. Together, Silvia and Adrianne invite us to reflect on the profound interplay between trauma, empathy, and belonging—both in our personal journeys and within our workplaces.
Through their unique blend of coaching, nervous system education, and energetic work, Silvia and Adrianne are redefining leadership development by moving away from purely mind-centred, linear models. Their commitment is to holding gentle, transformative spaces where individuals and teams can explore the emotional and energetic roots of true inclusion. Drawing on deeply personal experiences—from navigating biracial relationships and cultural displacement to confronting the legacy of generational trauma—they offer a rich and authentic perspective on what it means to foster collective healing.
At the heart of their work is the belief that genuine belonging is neither prescribed nor performed, but rather discovered through self-awareness, courage, and relational choice. With vivid anecdotes, they explore how bias and unconscious patterns can inhibit connection, and how leaders must develop the skills to “meet people where they are”—often below the surface, and beyond the usual metrics of performance.
Listeners will discover why empathy is more than intellectual understanding; it is a felt experience that cannot be rushed or forced. Silvia and Adrianne unpack how trauma shapes responses, sometimes closing individuals off, and sometimes gifting unique skills in holding space for others. Their approach is both trauma-informed and hopeful, arguing that while organisations cannot heal individuals, they can—and must—create spaces for self-exploration and authentic conversation.
This conversation challenges us all to reconsider what it means to create inclusive cultures in a rapidly changing world. It is a testament to the power of vulnerability, self-inquiry, and human connection in the ongoing pursuit of belonging. Don’t miss this month’s feature, which promises to shift perspectives and ignite thoughtful action across our community.
Tune in and deepen your understanding of healing through human connection.
YouTube Description
Challenging Statement:
Are you truly connecting, or just coexisting? Dive into the raw heart of human connection and belonging with this transformative episode of Inclusion Bites Podcast, “Healing Through Human Connection”.
SEO-Optimised Summary:
Unlock the real power of empathy and belonging in shaping inclusive cultures! Host Joanne Lockwood leads a riveting conversation with Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, as they reveal what it takes to rehumanise our workplaces, break down barriers of bias and trauma, and create communities where everyone feels seen and valued. Discover how emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and collective healing are the keys to thriving in both life and work.
Understand how our lived experiences—whether childhood criticism, mixed heritage, or corporate stress—impact our ability to show empathy and forge real connections. Learn why authentic belonging must be chosen and cultivated every day, moving beyond mere inclusion. Explore actionable steps that empower leaders to embrace their humanity, build trauma-informed spaces, and foster radical empathy.
Key Takeaways and Actions:
Challenge your assumptions: Question how you view belonging, inclusion, and loneliness.
Develop self-awareness: Reflect on your personal biases and traumas to unlock genuine empathy.
Choose belonging: Make daily, conscious choices to connect in your relationships and communities.
Rehumanise your workspace: Leaders, create safe spaces for vulnerability and emotional growth.
Embrace collective healing: Understand that healing is not a solo journey—co-regulation and shared experience matter.
Balance energies: Tap into both masculine and feminine leadership energies for more authentic engagement.
Model deep listening: Practice hearing yourself and others, maintaining empathy without centring yourself.
Welcome courage and curiosity: Don’t force empathy—let curiosity guide genuine change.
Create opportunities: Provide space for people to explore and express, rather than trying to manage their emotions.
Care about outcomes: Approach conversations and interventions with compassion at their core.
How You’ll Think, Feel or Act Differently:
Prepare to rethink what it means to belong, feel connected, and lead. You’ll be inspired to view empathy as a strength, not a weakness, and recognise the collective nature of healing and inclusion. Expect to act more consciously—making belonging an everyday practice, leading with courage, and fostering environments that are truly safe, welcoming, and transformative.
Listen now and ignite inclusion in your life and work!
🔗 Podcast Website
👩🏻💻 Contact: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
Hashtags:
#InclusionBites #HealingThroughConnection #LeadAndBelong #InclusiveCultures #EmpathyAtWork #TraumaInformedLeadership #RadicalEmpathy #BelongingMatters #RehumaniseWork #CollectiveHealing
10 Question Quiz
Inclusion Bites Podcast — Healing Through Human Connection
Quiz: Host Insights on Inclusion, Belonging, and Human Connection
1. What is the main objective of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, as described by Joanne Lockwood?
A) To analyse leadership models
B) To challenge the status quo and share stories that drive change
C) To entertain listeners with anecdotes
D) To discuss government policy
2. According to Joanne Lockwood, what must individuals do before they can understand or connect deeply with others?
A) Memorise inclusion policies
B) Like and understand themselves
C) Attend diversity workshops
D) Rely solely on external validation
3. How does Joanne Lockwood distinguish between ‘inclusion’ and ‘belonging’?
A) They are synonymous
B) Inclusion is about receiving invitations, belonging is about feeling part of something
C) Belonging is a policy requirement
D) Inclusion refers to demographics only
4. What metaphor does Joanne Lockwood use to describe the binary nature of belonging?
A) You can have a bit of belonging sometimes
B) You can’t be a bit pregnant
C) Belonging is achieved through incremental steps
D) Belonging is a choice of fashion
5. From the perspective of Joanne Lockwood, how do feelings such as psychological safety and trust relate to leadership and inclusion?
A) They can be measured only by surveys
B) They are subjective and reside “below the neck” – in the emotions
C) They are irrelevant to workplace culture
D) They are results of logical reasoning
6. What barrier does Joanne Lockwood mention that often prevents leaders from engaging with emotional aspects of their teams?
A) Lack of HR support
B) Feelings and empathy may be seen as weaknesses
C) Fear of losing authority
D) Preference for remote work
7. How does Joanne Lockwood describe the approach needed to work with trauma-related experiences in the workplace?
A) Ignore them
B) Use a brave and empathetic approach with no single right answer
C) Apply strict procedures
D) Rely on external consultants
8. What skill does Joanne Lockwood emphasise as crucial for leaders when navigating complex emotional landscapes?
A) Technical ability
B) Metacognition – ability to observe and regulate one's own feelings
C) Delegation
D) Financial planning
9. When discussing transformative workplace conversations, what does Joanne Lockwood highlight as vital for the outcome?
A) Ensuring the ‘I care enough’ feeling
B) Focusing only on objectives
C) Avoiding deep discussions
D) Keeping conversations short
10. At the conclusion of the episode, what does Joanne Lockwood encourage listeners to do?
A) Ignore inclusion issues
B) Subscribe, share, and become part of conversations driving real change
C) Focus on personal advancement
D) Contact HR for support
Answer Key & Rationales
1. B — To challenge the status quo and share stories that drive change
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood introduces the podcast as a sanctuary for “bold conversations that spark change,” focusing on inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation rather than entertainment or policy.
2. B — Like and understand themselves
Rationale: The host asserts, “you can't truly understand others until you understand yourself... you have to like yourself, you have to be aware of yourself before other people can like you.”
3. B — Inclusion is about receiving invitations, belonging is about feeling part of something
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood states, “you can be included but not belong,” and describes inclusion as being accepted, whereas belonging is feeling comfortable and resonate.
4. B — You can’t be a bit pregnant
Rationale: The host uses, “you can't be a bit pregnant,” as a metaphor for the binary and absolute nature of belonging.
5. B — They are subjective and reside ‘below the neck’ – in the emotions
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood says, “belonging, inclusion, psychological safety, trust... are below the neck. They're feelings. Do I feel safe? Do I feel belonging?... subjective in the... feelings of the person.”
6. B — Feelings and empathy may be seen as weaknesses
Rationale: The host mentions, “people see empathy and feelings as weakness, especially when you're in certain academic or leadership models.”
7. B — Use a brave and empathetic approach with no single right answer
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood highlights the need to “be brave enough to get into the feelings where there's no right answer... it's all nebulous shades of grey.”
8. B — Metacognition – ability to observe and regulate one's own feelings
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood draws attention to “metacognition... ability to be able to see yourself thinking, to observe yourself thinking... should also be able to observe yourself feeling... then you can start to get into the self regulation.”
9. A — Ensuring the ‘I care enough’ feeling
Rationale: The host emphasises, “fundamentally, we have to care deeply about the end result... caring enough about how you interact, it's gotta be the first stage.”
10. B — Subscribe, share, and become part of conversations driving real change
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood concludes by encouraging listeners to “consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of our ever growing community driving real change.”
Summary
Through these quiz answers, it is clear that Joanne Lockwood champions bold, compassionate conversations which drive meaningful change in inclusion and belonging. Self-awareness and understanding are prerequisites for empathy, and the distinction between inclusion and belonging is foundational—one can be included without feeling belonging. Belonging is a binary, visceral experience, deeply rooted in emotional states rather than logical processes. Leaders face barriers due to societal perceptions of feelings as weaknesses, yet courage and metacognitive skills are vital in engaging with trauma and emotional complexity. Ultimately, caring enough about outcomes and fostering genuine connections is essential, and Joanne Lockwood invites all listeners to join, subscribe, and share in this continuing journey towards a more inclusive world.
Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm Podcast Poetry
Healing Where We Belong
In coastal air where cold winds sweep,
Two hearts awake from ancient sleep,
They dive into the restless sea,
And rise to talk of empathy.
A blend of roots from far and wide,
A tale of race, of hope, of pride,
The boundaries felt beneath the skin,
The need for love, the wish to win.
Inside the workplace day by day,
Some hide their truths, keep selves at bay,
When logic rules and feelings stall,
We wonder why we’re lonely at all.
It’s not enough to just include,
Or simply switch to “friendly” mood—
True belonging’s something deep,
A gift we sense, yet can’t just keep.
The childhood wounds, the storied scars,
We carry them like secret jars,
Until we heal or simply see,
How yours and mine shape “who is me”.
Yet safety comes from gentle space,
Where all our failings can embrace,
A nervous glance, a cautious voice,
Transform, when given gentle choice.
For every leader, soul or friend,
This lesson’s one with journeys penned:
You cannot give what you withhold,
Nor lead with hearts behind a fold.
Belonging grows when shared with care,
When trauma’s named and hope laid bare,
And empathy, not weakness shown,
But strength that’s sown where trust has grown.
To listen deep, to question true,
To find the “I” and “we” anew,
Let’s challenge norms, let’s spark the light,
And heal with human grace and might.
If this dance of healing speaks to you,
Subscribe and share, and journey through—
With thanks to Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse for a fascinating podcast episode.
Key Learnings
Key Learning and Takeaway:
The central message from this episode of Inclusion Bites is that true healing, growth, and inclusion—whether at work or in society—are achieved through authentic human connection and self-awareness. We cannot foster genuine belonging or empathy by relying solely on intellect or prescribed policies; instead, it requires ongoing, courageous self-exploration and the willingness to create and hold spaces where vulnerability, emotional safety, and diversity are valued.
Point #1 — Belonging Is an Ongoing, Shared Process
Belonging isn’t a static state or something that can be bestowed upon individuals; it’s a collective, continuous choice. Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse underscore that belonging must be consciously built and rebuilt, both within oneself and with others. The evolution of authentic belonging relies on presence, openness, and a shared willingness to co-create safe, inclusive environments.
Point #2 — Self-Awareness Is the Foundation for Inclusion and Empathy
Both guests highlight that deep self-awareness—acknowledging your biases, cultural history, and emotional landscape—is critical for authentic inclusion. You must address your own traumas and unconscious patterns before you can truly empathise or build trust with others. Healing and transformation are rooted in this self-understanding.
Point #3 — Empathy Is Both Felt and Fostered (Not Just Understood)
Empathy is deeper than intellectual acknowledgement; it is embodied, emotional, and relational. While we may never fully grasp another’s lived experience, we can strive for what Adrianne Arendse calls “the feeling of a feeling,” approaching others with gentle curiosity and humility, rather than judgement, prescription, or the urge to ‘fix’.
Point #4 — Rehumanising the Workplace Demands Courage and Choice
Shifting from transactional, linear, or policy-driven cultures to genuinely human-centred workplaces requires courage—both from leaders and from every individual. The guests argue that leadership rooted in radical empathy, gentle facilitation, and collective healing is not only more effective but vital for sustainable wellbeing, creativity, and real inclusion.
These takeaways reflect the episode’s call to courageously bridge divides—between head and heart, information and experience, belonging and exclusion—by rethinking how we engage with ourselves and one another at every level.
Book Outline
Book Outline: “Healing Through Human Connection: A Journey of Belonging, Empathy, and Transformation”
Introduction
Framing the journey: The importance of moving from a ‘mind-centred’ to a ‘human-centred’ approach to growth.
The personal is universal: Why understanding our own story, trauma, and belonging unlocks empathy and authentic leadership.
Chapter 1: The Genesis of Healing — Personal Journeys into Human Connection
Subheadings:
The Starting Point: Realising Disconnection
Family, Identity, and the Seeds of Self-Understanding
Recognising Patterns: The Power of Self-Awareness
When Passion Meets Purpose: Driving Change from Lived Experience
Chapter Summary:
Introduces the impetus for exploring healing and belonging, unearthing the personal journeys that led to this work. Includes compelling examples such as navigating family mental health crises and multicultural identity, showing how personal struggles became catalysts for transformative practice.
Chapter 2: Trauma, Protection, and the Barriers to Belonging
Subheadings:
The Invisible Walls: How Past Hurt Colours Present Experience
Intergenerational Patterns and Self-Realisation
Trauma Responses at Work and Home
Safety, Regulation, and the Nervous System
Chapter Summary:
Examines the impact of trauma on connection and belonging, with reflections on childhood criticism, learned behaviours, and how individuals’ nervous systems respond to perceived threats. Introduces the value of somatic awareness in overcoming personal and collective blocks.
Chapter 3: From Self to Collective — The Ripple Effect of Empathy
Subheadings:
Belonging to Self as Foundation
Lived Experience and Limits of Empathy
The Bumpy Road from Awareness to Understanding
Empathy as Skill, Not Assumption
Chapter Summary:
Explores how self-acceptance and self-belonging enable genuine community connection. Discusses the nuances of empathy, the difference between knowledge and experience, and the humility required to honour lived experience without presumption.
Chapter 4: Navigating Difference — Intercultural Relationships and Growing Together
Subheadings:
Love Across Cultures: Challenging Internal Bias
Understanding Privilege by Stepping Outside One’s Comfort Zone
Learning in Relationship: Mutual Growth
Racism, Microaggressions, and “Light Bulb” Moments of Awareness
Chapter Summary:
Delves into practical examples of navigating interracial relationships, unravelling implicit bias, and gaining new perspectives by immersion into different cultures and communities. Real-life anecdotes illustrate how stepping into discomfort fosters deeper inclusion.
Chapter 5: The Workplace as a Microcosm — Inclusion, Loneliness, and Psychological Safety
Subheadings:
The Cost of Disconnection at Work
Performance vs Authenticity: Parking Identity at the Door
Quiet Quitting, Burnout, and Organisational Trauma
Rethinking Leadership: From Spreadsheet to Safe Space
Chapter Summary:
Unpacks how feelings of loneliness and exclusion manifest in the workplace, why inclusion is not the same as belonging, and the economic and personal cost of sustained disconnect. Discusses the shift towards trauma-informed, human-centred leadership.
Chapter 6: The Practice of Deep Listening and Gentle Leadership
Subheadings:
Leadership in the Shame-Resistant Workplace
Modelling Authentic Presence—Below the Neck
Creating Space for Others’ Stories
From Fixing to Facilitating: Guidance Without Imposition
Chapter Summary:
Offers tools and mindsets for leaders to develop radical empathy and deep listening skills, without overextending into therapy. Includes examples of non-prescriptive facilitation and the importance of presence, patience, and awareness.
Chapter 7: Integration — Choice, Process, and Collective Healing
Subheadings:
Belonging as Daily Practice, Not Destination
Navigating the Shifting Terrain
Individual Healing, Collective Flourishing
The Balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy in Leadership
Chapter Summary:
Draws together themes of daily choice, the ongoing nature of healing, and the interplay of individual and group processes. Suggests ways for readers to implement these insights into their teams, partnerships, and communities.
Chapter 8: Practical Tools for Leaders and Teams
Subheadings:
Reflection Exercises: Self-Awareness Check-Ins
Empathy Mapping: Walking the Line Between Self and Other
Creating Safe Conversations: Holding and Disclosing
Nervous System Attunement: Everyday Practices
Chapter Summary:
A toolkit of exercises, reflection questions, and action steps for developing trauma-awareness, empathy, and deeper belonging in any group or organisation. Special features such as journaling prompts and team workshop outlines.
Conclusion: From Scar to Wisdom — The Ongoing Adventure of Human Connection
The journey does not end: Wounds, scars, and the work of collective healing
The Role of Courage and Willingness: Keys to Transformation
Invitation to Action: Small Steps, Lasting Change
Supplementary Material
Possible Inserts:
Visual Diagrams: Trauma response cycles, Empathy “boundary lines”, The belonging continuum
Case Studies: Anonymous workplace scenarios and outcomes
Interactive Reflection Spaces:
“Pause and Reflect” prompts at each chapter’s end
“Action in Practice” leadership challenges
Suggested Book Titles
Healing Through Human Connection: Cultivating Belonging in Ourselves and Each Other
Beyond Inclusion: The Art and Practice of Collective Healing
From Isolation to Integration: A Leader’s Companion on the Journey to Authentic Belonging
The Empathy Edge: Trauma, Transformation, and True Connection at Work
Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1:
Shares deeply personal journeys that led to a professional passion for human-centred growth, weaving in anecdotes of cultural background and family crisis as crucibles for transformative insight.
Chapter 2:
Explores how trauma and hurt create barriers to connection, detailing the role of the nervous system and the importance of recognising one’s own protective patterns.
Chapter 3:
Analyses the journey from self-acceptance to true empathy, discussing the limits and responsibilities of empathetic leadership, and the necessity of humility.
Chapter 4:
Focuses on practical lived experiences in confronting and unlearning implicit bias within relationships, and the resultant growth in inclusive understanding.
Chapter 5:
Examines modern workplace realities—loneliness, superficial inclusion, and the urgent demand for psychological safety—the cost and opportunity of rehumanising our working lives.
Chapter 6:
Details the craft of leadership as deep listening and gentle holding, with practical techniques and real examples to guide readers in their own practice.
Chapter 7:
Reframes healing as a process rather than a destination, highlighting the importance of ongoing choice, systemic awareness, and embracing paradox in leadership.
Chapter 8:
Equips readers with actionable tools, exercises, and reflective prompts for real-world application, reinforcing the journey from awareness to transformation.
Conclusion:
Encapsulates the imperative for continuing personal and collective healing, emphasising courage, curiosity, and actionable first steps for the reader to take forward.
Feedback and Refinement Loop
Draft outline and early chapters to be circulated to subject matter experts in D&I, trauma-informed leadership, and human-centred organisational design.
Incorporate feedback from test readers (HR practitioners, leaders, community organisers) to ensure wide accessibility and resonance.
Iterative revision sprints to tighten narrative cohesion and clarity.
This structure draws deeply on the guests’ perspectives, weaving in their stories and practical wisdom, and translating the conversational flow of the podcast into a compelling, reader-focused book.
Maxims to live by…
Maxims for Healing Through Human Connection
Belonging begins within: Seek to belong to yourself before striving to belong with others. Self-acceptance is the foundation of genuine connection.
Healing is inherently collective: True recovery and growth happen alongside others. Isolation hinders, connectedness heals.
Meet people where they are: Accept those you encounter as they arrive, not as you expect them to be. Context and present circumstances matter.
Empathy is a journey, not an assumption: You cannot fully know another's experience, but you can honour their story and offer support with humility.
Self-awareness precedes connection: Understanding your history, triggers, and patterns allows for deeper, more authentic relationships.
Inclusion and belonging are distinct: Being included is not the same as feeling you truly belong. Aim to create spaces where participation transforms into acceptance.
Presence nurtures empathy: Full attention—body, mind, and energy—enables us to feel with, not just for, those around us.
Transformation demands vulnerability: Growth comes from opening to discomfort, questioning habits, and embracing change.
Healing is cyclical, not linear: Progress unfolds in layers. Self-exploration and connection is an ongoing, evolving process.
Balance autonomy and community: Valuing what distinguishes you enriches the collective; contributing to the group enriches the individual.
Choice sits at the heart of belonging: Belonging is nurtured by everyday decisions to include, engage, and invest yourself in relationships and communities.
Let lived experience inform empathy: Past pains and challenges can become sensitivities that support and elevate others—even as some scars harden us, others soften us.
Gentleness creates safety: Transformation flourishes in environments marked by patience, compassion, and the absence of force or coercion.
Deep listening is dual: To attend well to others, one must also listen to oneself. Authentic dialogue is shaped by internal and external awareness.
Avoid performing empathy or vulnerability: Authenticity cannot be enacted; it must emerge from honest self-examination and lived reality.
Courage is essential for connection: Pursue brave conversations, question ingrained behaviour, and step forward even when outcomes seem uncertain.
Recognise the impact of trauma, seen and unseen: Both personal and collective wounds shape behaviour. Honour their echoes in yourself and others with understanding rather than judgement.
Embrace paradoxes: Many truths about belonging, healing, and inclusion are complex. Stay open to nuance rather than chasing rigid solutions.
Cultivate spaces for self-reflection: Growth requires environments where all can pause, observe, and adjust without judgement or haste.
Care deeply about outcomes: It is not actions alone but mindful, compassionate attention to others’ feelings that transforms encounters and hallows relationships.
Choose connection daily: Belonging and healing are not once-off achievements but daily practices, refuelled by intention and care.
Rehumanise work and life: Prioritise feelings, stories, and safety. Value people above numbers, and relationships above rigid structures.
Let experience precede teaching: The deepest wisdom comes from what is lived, then shared.
Nurture balance between logic and emotion: Both are necessary—make room for feelings as well as facts, and heart as well as head.
Hold space without the need to fix: Sometimes, the greatest gift is to witness, not to solve.
Let these maxims guide you in forging meaningful connections, fostering belonging, and nurturing healing spaces for yourself and all whom you encounter.
Extended YouTube Description
Healing Through Human Connection | Inclusion Bites Podcast S2E1 | How Belonging Drives Workplace Transformation
Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction to Inclusion Bites & Today’s Guests
01:14 – The Power of Human Connection: Silvia Causo & Adrianne Arendse
06:03 – Exploring Bias, Trauma, and Collective Healing
11:49 – Multicultural Identity, Empathy, and Self-Discovery
16:41 – Unpacking Belonging: Lived Experience vs Inclusion
23:00 – Empathy, Supporting Diversity, and Transformative Conversations
31:03 – Beyond the Cognitive: Nervous System, Energy, and Emotion at Work
40:23 – Leadership, Fear, and Creating Safe Spaces
49:50 – Empathy, Gender, and Balancing Energies in Leadership
59:29 – Healing, Leadership, and Deep Listening
01:04:07 – How to Connect with Silvia & Adrianne
01:05:19 – Final Reflections & Podcast Wrap-Up
Description
Welcome to a new era of inclusive leadership and authentic connection. In this powerful episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, host Joanne Lockwood welcomes co-founders of Lead and Belong, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, for an honest dialogue about "Healing Through Human Connection". Together, they unravel how empathy, self-awareness, and a deep sense of belonging can rehumanise the workplace, advance organisational culture, and nurture teams to flourish.
Discover:
What truly ignites belonging: Understand the difference between inclusion and belonging, and why the latter is essential for meaningful diversity and wellbeing at work.
The role of trauma and lived experiences: Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse candidly share their intersecting personal journeys, from multicultural backgrounds to navigating bias and emotional blocks.
How leaders can move beyond cognitive strategies: Explore why conventional, logic-based leadership often fails to create the psychological safety teams need, and learn how to develop emotional intelligence, radical empathy, and trauma-informed practices.
Actionable strategies for leaders & professionals: Hear how to cultivate everyday inclusion, sense and support emotional undercurrents, and build safe, resilient environments where everyone can thrive.
Whether you’re an HR leader, workplace wellbeing advocate, inclusion practitioner, or someone curious about creating cultures of belonging, this episode is packed with practical insights and real-world stories that will inspire you to take action and lead with compassion.
Key Takeaways for HR Professionals and Inclusion Advocates:
Emotional intelligence is a workplace superpower—learn to sense, not just strategise.
Trauma awareness and empathy are vital for inclusive, supportive cultures.
Belonging is an ongoing, dynamic process—choose it every day, in every interaction.
True leadership means embracing discomfort, supporting self-discovery, and facilitating human-centred spaces.
Boost your journey to inclusion:
🔔 Subscribe for more expert-led conversations:
https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
🌐 Visit our website for resources and exclusive content:
https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
📩 Want to join the conversation or be a guest?
Email Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
➡️ If you’re ready to foster genuine belonging and drive innovation in your organisation, listen now and be part of the change!
Watch next:
Creating Psychological Safety in High-Performing Teams
Strategies for Effective Diversity & Inclusion Training
Hashtags:
#InclusionBites #HealingThroughConnection #DiversityAndInclusion #LeadershipDevelopment #BelongingAtWork #TraumaInformed #WorkplaceWellbeing #InclusiveLeadership #SEEChangeHappen #LeadAndBelong #EmployeeExperience
Unlock the transformative power of belonging—one conversation at a time.
Substack Post
Healing Through Human Connection – Why Inclusion is a Team Sport
Have you ever stepped into a room full of people—be it an office, a meeting, or even a social gathering—and still felt entirely alone? Despite best efforts, so many organisations struggle to close the chasm between inclusion as a corporate target and belonging as a lived, embodied experience. The bigger question remains: If our policies talk about inclusion, why do so many still feel out of place, undervalued, or unseen?
This is precisely the challenge I grapple with in this latest episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast – and why I’m so excited to introduce "Healing Through Human Connection". In this conversation, I’m joined by two remarkable guests, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, the co-founders of Lead and Belong. If you’re an HR trailblazer, a D&I specialist, or a leader passionate about shaping cultures where people really flourish, you’ll find this discussion both grounding and illuminating.
Meeting the People Behind the Change
On this episode, Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse joined me in what became a masterclass in human-centred leadership. Based in Cornwall but with a truly global perspective, Silvia brings expertise in coaching and trauma-informed practice, while Adrianne connects his deeply personal story of belonging, growing up in South Africa, to the work we must all do to be more empathetic leaders.
Together, we unpack how trauma—both personal and collective—shapes our ability to connect. We probe the lived realities of intersectional identity, the roadblocks HR and business leaders face in nurturing belonging, and why simply inviting people to the party isn’t enough if no one feels able to dance.
From Inclusion to Belonging – More Than a Warm Word
What unfolded was a conversation that looked beneath the surface of 'inclusion initiatives' and focused on what it means to genuinely foster spaces where people feel they can bring their full selves to work. Here’s what stood out:
The difference between being included and actually belonging—and how it can be the difference between thriving and merely surviving.
Why self-awareness and courage are essential for leaders at every level.
Concrete steps for moving from 'policy and process' to human connection, using trauma-informed approaches.
The surprising ways that our own lived experience—be it race, gender, or personal adversity—can either expand our empathy or create blind spots.
How organisations can take the leap from ‘fixing’ people to collectively healing and elevating their people through connection and purpose.
I found myself as much a learner as host in this episode. In a world still obsessed with tick-box measures and “best practice,” the conversation with Silvia and Adrianne offered not just thoughtful commentary, but a call to get out of our heads, into our hearts, and beneath our own skin.
From Insight to Action: Turning Connection into Culture
Every engaging conversation sparks new ideas for action. Here are my top five takeaways every D&I leader or HR professional should be weaving into their day-to-day practice:
Self-Awareness is the First Step to Empathy
Both Silvia and Adrianne highlight the reality that you can’t meaningfully support others without knowing yourself first. Leaders who aren’t attuned to their own triggers risk projecting unresolved trauma onto others. Prioritise reflective practice—bring metacognition into leadership development and encourage managers to regularly ask: “How am I showing up today?” and “How might my lived experience shape how I lead?”
Belonging is Dynamic, Not Static
Inclusion is not an event or a status; it’s a continual process of making a choice to belong—to ourselves, to each other, and to our work. As Silvia aptly points out, it’s a decision we make each day, even each meeting. Examine your team rituals: do they reinforce an ongoing sense of togetherness, or are they merely habitual?
Create Safe Spaces for Exploration
Genuine inclusion asks us to do more than “welcome difference.” It’s about building spaces where people feel able to explore not just their strengths but also their vulnerabilities and wounds—in psychological safety. Use techniques from trauma-informed practice: keep sessions gentle, offer choices, and build trust so people can surface tough truths and grow together.
Move From Data to Dialogue
Policies, surveys, and dashboards are important but rarely enough on their own. Healing and inclusion happen in conversation, not spreadsheets. Hold regular, facilitated group check-ins and consider third-party facilitation to help name the “undiscussables.” Employees’ stories are as vital as your numbers—they humanise your culture work.
Focus on Collective, Not Just Individual, Healing
There’s real power in addressing the “echoes” of trauma—how previous organisational pain or historical injustice still reverberates in your halls today. Encourage practices where teams collectively own and address issues, rather than expecting individuals to “fix” themselves or assimilate. Remember, true inclusion invites everyone to the table—not just to listen but to co-create.
A Taste of the Conversation
Curious what this looks like in practice? I’ve pulled a highlight from our conversation for you to experience first-hand.
[Watch the 1-minute audiogram here – a sneak peek of the most thought-provoking moments from "Healing Through Human Connection".] (Insert-audiogram-video-link-here)
Pause and take a moment with Silvia and Adrianne as they reflect on the journey from isolation to belonging, and the subtle ways our own mindset can shift an entire team’s ability to connect.
Listen and Share – Start Your Journey Today
Ready to dig deeper into these lessons? The full episode is ready for you—full of practical wisdom, lived experience, and empathy you can feel through your earbuds.
Listen to "Healing Through Human Connection" now.
If this conversation resonated, please do share the link with your team, your HR network, or anyone you think is ready to move from talking about inclusion to living it. The more we share these honest, difficult conversations, the more likely we’ll chip away at the barriers holding our colleagues—and ourselves—back from authentic belonging.
Where Will You Begin?
So, here’s the question I’m leaving with: What’s one brave, perhaps uncomfortable, honest conversation you could start in your workplace this week? Could you share your story—not the superhero ending, but the sticky bit? Could you hold space for someone else’s vulnerability? Remember, the journey from “included” to “belonging” is a shared one, often beginning with just a single courageous step.
Let’s swap checklists for connection—and build organisations where healing and growth are collective and continuous.
Until next time,
Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen
Let’s create spaces where everyone, not just the loudest voice in the room, truly feels they belong. What’s one thing you’ll do differently tomorrow to turn inclusion from a policy into a lived experience?
Stay connected:
Reach out directly if you’d like to spark this work in your organisation
#InclusionBites #Belonging #TeamCulture #SEEChangeHappen
1st Person Narrative Content
Healing Through Human Connection: A Personal Journey into Belonging, Trauma, and Leadership
"Collective healing isn't just an aspiration—it's a necessity. We heal through human connection, never in isolation. Every breakthrough in leadership, and every shift in team culture, has its roots in the courage it takes to embrace vulnerability, empathy, and self-awareness."
When I reflect on my professional journey, these words ring true—not as poetic philosophy, but as lived reality. For years, I believed transformation at scale was merely a function of strategy, process, and intellect. Yet, as I’ve immersed myself deeper into the realms of coaching, energetic work, and trauma-informed leadership, I’ve learned that the most profound change comes from embracing the messiness—and the brilliance—of what it means to truly belong, both to ourselves and to others.
This realisation was crystallised during a candid, far-reaching interview with Joanne Lockwood, host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast. Joanne is a trailblazer in the world of workplace inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation; she approaches every conversation with piercing insight and a steady, compassionate energy. If you’re already familiar with her work at SEE Change Happen, you know she doesn’t settle for surface-level chatter. Instead, she leans into discomfort, challenging assumptions to ignite actionable change.
More than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts. If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.
Leadership, Trauma, and the Power of Origin Stories
Let's begin at the root. Joanne prompted us to share what brought us to this work—why "healing through human connection" is more than a tagline for Lead and Belong. For me, it wasn’t a detached theory, but the raw experience of navigating family trauma. Watching a loved one battle an eating disorder was not only heart-breaking, but eye-opening. At some point, I had to confront the uncomfortable truth: my attempts to help were, in fact, hindering recovery. This forced me inward, pushing me to unpack my own traumas, patterns, and beliefs.
As I began to question why progress eluded us, clarity emerged. I was unconsciously repeating the behaviours of my mother—modelling patterns I swore I’d never pass on. Recognising this was painful, but essential. I realised healing had to start with self-awareness: "You cannot take a client any deeper than you have been yourself." This insight propelled me into further work—training, coaching, and holding space for others wrestling with emotional blocks.
Joanne echoed the importance of self-discovery in leadership. "I've heard many people say that you can't truly understand others until you understand yourself. You have to like yourself, you have to be aware of yourself before other people can like you." This resonated deeply. The journey to belonging, both individually and collectively, is iterative. It’s a continuous process of noticing, choosing, and recommitting.
Adrianne, my co-founder, brought a distinct perspective. His life story—a tapestry of Mozambique, India, Malaysia, and Holland—underscored how layered, lived experience shapes belonging. He shared how, growing up in Cape Town under apartheid, the concept of belonging was fraught, complex, and ever-changing. Those experiences forged empathy, but also required him to scan his environment for safety, contributing to an acute awareness of "the limits of empathy."
Being in a biracial relationship, I was reminded that intellectual understanding of inclusion is insufficient. Real empathy demands humility and openness to experiencing discomfort. As we navigated South Africa together, I tasted the feeling of being in the minority—not fully safe, not fully welcome. Belonging is not just about fitting in, but about feeling seen, valued, and accepted. Understanding this from both sides—personal and professional—marked a profound shift in how I approach my work.
Beyond Inclusion: The Subtle Distinction of Belonging
One of the most enduring lessons from my dialogue with Joanne is the nuanced yet crucial distinction between inclusion and belonging. Inclusion can be extended as an invitation, but belonging is a state of being—a feeling often recognised only after it manifests. As Joanne put it, "You can be included but not belong." I would add: you can be lonely in a room full of people, and you can be connected even when you’re on your own.
In the workplace, this difference is palpable. Employees may be present physically, even included in meetings, but unless they experience belonging—unless their contributions and humanity are recognised—their engagement remains superficial. We discussed how many people feel displaced, even after spending decades in one organisation. Their presence becomes mechanical, survival-oriented. True belonging is transformative; it allows for authenticity, creativity, and meaningful collaboration.
Adrianne described belonging as "closer to a state of being than it is an achievement. You become aware of it as it’s happening, not something you prepare your mind for." This sentiment captures why belonging cannot be engineered, imposed, or performed. Leaders attempt to dictate belonging with policies and programmes, but genuine resonance only emerges when people have the space to process, feel, and choose to connect.
Holistic Empathy: Navigating Knowledge, Information, and Experience
A theme that surfaced repeatedly was the complexity of empathy—particularly its relationship to information, knowledge, and lived experience. Adrianne differentiated between information (something you can describe cognitively) and knowledge (something contextualised within your lived experience). He noted, "I can be in the proximity of someone else’s experience, but it’s not my experience." This awareness helps avoid self-centering in conversations about belonging or trauma.
Yet, empathy can also grow through openness, presence, and intention. I’ve found that as we educate people about their nervous systems, emotions, and energetic fields, they develop coherence with themselves—and with others. The key insight: you must be fully present with yourself before you can be fully present with anyone else. This presence is not just mental, but emotional and energetic.
We also challenged the myth that empathy is innate or fixed. Instead, empathy can be cultivated by working through your own traumas—removing protective boundaries that inhibit openness. In leadership, environments built on fear and trauma undermine belonging and empathy. People compartmentalise roles, suppress authenticity, and operate solely for self-preservation. The result is exhaustion, resistance, and a lack of collective progress.
One practical strategy we offer is creating gentle, safe spaces to explore emotions. As Adrianne emphasised: "We don’t prescribe answers; we create space for people to realise their own answers." In trauma-informed practice, gentleness and choice are paramount. You meet people where they are, respecting their readiness and boundaries. Forcing progress is counterproductive; transformation must emerge organically.
Body, Mind, and the Rehumanisation of Work
Working in inclusion and belonging, it’s tempting to focus on cognitive solutions—training programmes, policies, or "above the neck" strategies. However, real change demands reconnection with the body and feelings. In Western contexts, emotions are often understood through the intellect, not truly felt. This disconnect turns the workplace into a performative space, where people park their identities at the door.
Adrianne and I prefer to frame organisational health as tending a garden. The process is multidimensional—mental, emotional, energetic. Neuroscience teaches us that the brain’s primary job is protection. If you’re not present, or you feel unsafe, your mind is elsewhere, avoiding discomfort and danger. Deliberately choosing how much of yourself to bring to work, and doing so with awareness, signals safety and fosters belonging.
I’m always interested in how leaders make the leap from logic to empathy. Many see emotions as weakness, resisting the "messiness" of trauma and vulnerability. Yet, leaders can’t ignore the reality that burnout, disengagement, and turnover cost companies dearly—and often stem from emotional neglect. Our approach is not therapy; it’s facilitation. We help leaders assemble their own compass and navigate complexity with courage and curiosity.
Notably, we don’t try to convert those uninterested in this work. We seek out the curious—the leaders ready to embrace vulnerability and rehumanise their organisations. Transformation is neither instant nor forced. It’s incremental, built on the willingness to open, explore, and hold space for collective healing.
Gender, Energy, and the Dynamics of Empathy
Joanne pressed on demographic bias: do women lead with more empathy? Is marginalisation a predictor of deeper compassion? My answer: both yes and no. Empathy is shaped by individual experience, energy, and willingness. We all hold masculine and feminine energies—the provider and the protector. Western society elevates masculine energy, creating imbalance even among women leaders who "drive from a masculine orientation."
True self-awareness is recognising when and how to shift energy, communication, and style to meet one’s own needs—and those of others. Authenticity isn’t performative; it’s a willingness to go deeper, to purge, and renew. Our work isn’t about quick fixes, but about cultivating the conditions where empathy and belonging can flourish.
For many, childhood trauma (whether emotional neglect or over-criticism) sharpens sensitivity to others’ experiences, but can also create blocks. Some, unable to process pain, may display narcissistic traits—an inability to see beyond their own needs. In top leadership, this is surprisingly prevalent, manifesting as emotional unavailability and self-centric decision-making. Healing begins by speaking from the scar, not the wound. When your own trauma is unresolved, it leaks into every conversation, every decision.
Caring Deeply: The Essence of Meaningful Leadership
Ultimately, transformational leadership hinges on whether you truly care about those you lead. If you approach a tough conversation—like redundancy—without empathy, you create emotional failure, diminishing trust and connection. If you deeply care that the other person leaves feeling enhanced, valued, and respected, you are positioned to foster real belonging.
For me, this is a call to action for leaders: begin every conversation with self-awareness, empathy, and courage. Model vulnerability. As Adrianne observed, "Deep listening is being able to hear yourself as well as the other person." Without this two-way flow, something essential is lost. Awareness is not just seeing the other, but seeing yourself seeing them—offering what is needed, withholding what isn’t.
Provide opportunities for your people to look inward. Work extracts much from us; it must also replenish. This is the heart of our mission at Lead and Belong: to rehumanise organisations, one gentle, courageous conversation at a time.
Bringing it Full Circle
"I feel that the work is needed." It’s a simple statement, but it sits at the core of my philosophy. Healing through human connection isn’t an abstract goal—it’s a daily practice, a relentless pursuit of authenticity, empathy, and presence.
If you’re leading a team, running a business, or navigating your own process of self-discovery, pause and ask: are you creating space for belonging? Are you willing to confront your own traumas and biases? Are you modelling the vulnerability and empathy that allow others to heal alongside you?
Transformation begins with awareness, but it doesn’t end there. It’s the courage to choose connection, again and again—even (and especially) when it’s uncomfortable. That’s how we heal, how we scale authentic teams, and how we foster cultures where everyone not only belongs, but thrives.
If this journey resonates with you, let’s continue the conversation. Leave a comment below—I read each one, and together, we can build a world that heals through human connection, one bold choice at a time.
Song Lyrics from Episode
[Title
Belonging Is a Verb]
[Synopsis
Inspired by the “Healing Through Human Connection” episode, this song unpacks what true belonging means: it's felt, chosen, and forged through honest self-exploration and collective courage. With warm acoustic guitars, steady percussion and layered harmonies, it lifts vulnerability into strength. Rooted in grounded truth and heart, it’s a call to embrace discomfort, co-regulate, and rehumanise every room we’re in.]
[Vibe
Steady acoustic rhythm — fingerpicked guitar, soft indie pop percussion, atmospheric pads for space, subtle pedal steel or mandolin. Female lead vocal, tight harmonies in choruses. Bridge lifts to lush, weathered hope, then winds to gentle, conscious fade. Think Lucy Rose meets The Chicks with a touch of Maggie Rogers.]
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
We cross new borders in silent rooms,
Hiding the hurt we’re conditioned to keep.
Say we’re “included,” but the echo proves
You can be lonely in a crowd, lost in the seams.
[Verse 2]
Cool sea winds on a Cornish dawn,
Chilled to the skin but alive inside.
It’s the scars and the laughter we bring along,
Choosing, every day, to belong not to hide.
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, but healing’s not a line —
It’s a circle we redraw,
Letting go and leaning in
Braver than before.
[Chorus]
So take my hand —
We won’t perform these feelings,
Can’t fake the truth that calls us home.
It’s not just showing up,
It’s daring to be seen and
To make this space our own.
Belonging is a verb —
We’re learning as we go.
[Instrumental]
[(Instrumental interlude: fingerpicked guitar, soft brushed drums, wordless vocal harmonies. Builds warmth and reflection.)]
[Verse 3]
We carry mothers’ voices, ancestral light,
With every wound, a doorway opens clear.
To rehumanise the workplace, the table,
Means meeting who you are, right here.
[Bridge]
Hold the paradox, hold the question,
Not just knowledge but the breath beneath.
We’re not meant to heal in isolation —
Co-regulation is how we breathe.
[Final Chorus (Lifted)]
So take my hand —
Not just a role or story,
But every messy feeling, all you know.
You’re not alone as long as we’re choosing
To make each other’s safety grow.
Belonging is a verb —
We show it as we go.
[Instrumental Fade-Out]
[(Soft atmospheric outro, layering gentle harmonies and fading guitar, as if the conversation carries on just out of reach.)]
[Direction for Producer/Vocalist:
Build each chorus subtly, never bombastic; bridge with a sense of dawning realisation, not triumph. Lead vocal direct, honest, slightly weathered; harmonies for warmth, never sweet for the sake of it. Acoustic, a touch of country, indie pop sensibility. The final fade-out lingers — like a heartfelt chat ending on a hopeful, unfinished note.]
Gemini Infographic Material
Certainly. Here is a summary table of the core concepts from the Inclusion Bites episode “Healing Through Human Connection,” featuring Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse:
Core Concepts: Healing Through Human Connection
1. Belonging, Inclusion, and Healing
Belonging is Experiential: True belonging is a lived, felt experience—internal and relational—not simply structural inclusion.
Inclusion is Not Belonging: One can be "included" in a group yet still feel isolated if true connection and self-acceptance are missing.
Healing Requires Others: Personal and collective healing cannot happen in isolation; it is co-regulated and enabled through safe, human connection.
2. Self-Awareness and Empathy
Self-Belonging Precedes Empathy: Understanding and accepting oneself is an essential precursor to understanding and empathising with others.
Empathy Has Limits: Empathy is not identical experience; rather, it is understanding and supporting others at the edges of one’s own lived experience.
3. Impact of Trauma and Protection Mechanisms
Trauma Shapes Workplace Dynamics: Past trauma and survival mechanisms (withdrawing, performing, masking) directly affect workplace belonging, engagement, and empathy.
Healing as Ongoing Process: Both individual and collective healing require ongoing active choices and awareness, not a static destination.
4. The Role of Leadership & Organisational Culture
From Head to Heart: Lasting change demands shifting from logical, mind-centred leadership to more embodied, emotionally aware leadership—“below the neck.”
Psychological Safety is Foundational: Safety, trust, and courage are prerequisites for authentic connection and vulnerability at work.
Choice and Agency: Belonging is dynamic; people must choose to engage, and organisations must create genuine opportunities for connection—not force outcomes.
5. Facilitating Human-Centred Change
Space, Not Solutions: The role of practitioners/facilitators is to hold space for exploration, not to prescribe solutions.
Gentle, Trauma-Informed Approach: Change must be introduced gently and with respect for individual readiness—including for resistant or less self-aware leaders.
Deep Listening: Organisational change is anchored in deep listening—to self and others—rather than in policy or metrics alone.
Summary Table: Key Learning Points
Key Takeaway:
Healing and belonging in the workplace arise through intentional, embodied human connection, ongoing self-awareness, and the courage to create spaces where vulnerability and difference are not just tolerated but valued.
Hubspot Import format
Episode,Title,Published (pubDate),Link,MP3 URL,Podfollow Link,MP3 Length (bytes),MP3 MIME,Duration (itunes:duration),Hosts,Guests,Subtitle (itunes:subtitle),Summary (itunes:summary),Chapters URL,Transcript URLs,GUID,Guest Email(s),Primary Topic,Secondary Topic,Intersection Themes,Newsletter Segment(s),IB Episode Line,IB Episode Link,IB Summary Line,IB Transcript URL
201,Healing Through Human Connection,,,,"",,,"Joanne Lockwood","Silvia Causo, Adrianne Arendse","A deep dive into how authentic human connection drives collective healing and genuine belonging.","Joanne Lockwood welcomes Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, for a transformative conversation about shifting from mind-centred to genuinely human-centred leadership and self-discovery. The episode explores how trauma, personal history, and intersectional identities shape workplace experiences and individual growth. Silvia and Adrianne share personal journeys that illuminate the subtle, daily realities of belonging, as well as the art of creating and holding safe spaces for vulnerability and healing—both individually and collectively. Topics include navigating complex emotions, meeting people where they are, and the difference between inclusion, inclusion policy, and true belonging. They unpack the neuroscience of safety, the interplay between logic and emotion in leadership, and why healing in isolation isn’t sustainable—connecting this deeply to broader workplace culture and team dynamics. Expect practical and reflective insights for leaders, people professionals, and anyone passionate about fostering empathy, inclusion, and supportive workplace cultures.",,,,"Mental Health, Wellbeing & Trauma","Psychological Safety, Belonging, Authenticity, Change & Transformation, Resilience, Confidence & Self-worth, Community & Connection","Leadership & Power, Mental Health & Wellbeing, Race & Ethnicity","Inclusive Leadership, Culture Change & Belonging, Lived Experience Stories","E201 – Healing Through Human Connection",,"'E201 – Healing Through Human Connection | A deep dive into how authentic human connection drives collective healing and genuine belonging. | Joanne Lockwood welcomes Silvia Causo and Adrianne Arendse, co-founders of Lead and Belong, for a transformative conversation about shifting from mind-centred to genuinely human-centred leadership and self-discovery. The episode explores how trauma, personal history, and intersectional identities shape workplace experiences and individual growth. Silvia and Adrianne share personal journeys that illuminate the subtle, daily realities of belonging, as well as the art of creating and holding safe spaces for vulnerability and healing—both individually and collectively. Topics include navigating complex emotions, meeting people where they are, and the difference between inclusion, inclusion policy, and true belonging. They unpack the neuroscience of safety, the interplay between logic and emotion in leadership, and why healing in isolation isn’t sustainable—connecting this deeply to broader workplace culture and team dynamics. Expect practical and reflective insights for leaders, people professionals, and anyone passionate about fostering empathy, inclusion, and supportive workplace cultures.'",
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