Building Bridges in a Biased World

The Inclusion Bites Podcast

Building Bridges in a Biased World

Speaker

Sonia Pérez

Speaker

Joanne Lockwood

00:00 Incidental Journey into DEI 03:41 Journey to Self-Discovery and DEI 07:00 Navigating Sexism in the Workplace 11:04 "Building a Supportive Village" 16:34 Exploring Neurodivergence and Giftedness 20:27 Endlessly Curious, Easily Bored 22:48 "Importance of Continuous Learning" 26:27 Neurodivergence and Eating Disorder Link 29:35 Addictive Tendencies and Weight Fluctuations 32:06…

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Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway

In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood explores the realities of building bridges in a biased world with guest Sonia Perez. They uncover the subtle and overt barriers that neurodivergent and minoritised people face in traditionally male-dominated sectors, particularly engineering and energy. Sonia offers candid reflections on navigating complex identities, masking in the workplace, and the intersection of motherhood, neurodiversity, and professional ambition. The conversation tackles how internalised expectations shape confidence, strategies for thriving amid microaggressions, and the persistent, unseen labour of adapting to workplace culture. Joanne and Sonia underscore the critical role of network and community—'finding your village'—in fostering psychological safety and personal resilience.

Sonia Perez is an engineer and accomplished leader within the energy industry. Now based in Aberdeen, she is a committed champion of diversity, equity, and inclusion. With lived experience as a neurodivergent, single mother and professional, Sonia actively advocates for the importance of psychological safety and belonging in STEM. Her journey into DEI was spurred not only by professional insight but by personal developments—her daughter’s neurodivergence prompting Sonia’s own diagnosis and rapid learning curve. Beyond her technical expertise, Sonia has chaired women’s and neurodiversity networks, contributed to sector-wide discussions, and holds master’s degrees in both engineering and creative writing.

Throughout the episode, Joanne and Sonia discuss the nuanced reality of fitting in, the limitations of masking, and why systemic change is necessary for authentic inclusion. They highlight evolving generational perspectives, the ongoing challenges for working parents, and the value of open conversations about mental health, eating disorders, and intersectionality. Sonia’s advice emphasises the importance of building supportive networks, taking up space, and not internalising societal bias.

A key takeaway from this episode is the transformative power of embracing and sharing lived experience to drive inclusive leadership and culture change. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own identities, leverage supportive communities, and continue challenging the status quo as we strive for a workplace—and society—where everyone can truly belong and thrive.

📚 Timestamped overview

00:00 Accidentally entered DEI due to balancing work and family, especially after becoming a mother and discovering daughter's potential neurodivergence.

03:41 Navigating personal challenges and embracing neurodiversity led to a steep, fulfilling learning journey in diversity, equity, and inclusion.

07:00 Navigating a male-dominated industry involves enduring sexist jokes, pretending to be less knowledgeable to avoid being deemed arrogant, while appreciating collegiate support post-university.

11:04 Build a supportive network to combat systematic negativity and bolster self-belief.

16:34 A child's advanced conversations led to exploring neurodivergence, revealing similarities between giftedness, ADHD, and autism.

20:27 Undiagnosed individual frequently loses interest in projects, quickly masters them, then seeks new challenges, particularly experienced this with a long IT career, but lost passion for it in their 40s.

22:48 If you're the smartest in the room, find a different room to grow and learn; you needn't be an expert in everything.

26:27 The speaker discusses a link between their neurodivergence and gender, relating to eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food and weight, which stems partly from societal pressure during adolescence.

29:35 The person has an addictive tendency, with a history of binge drinking and fluctuating weight, losing and regaining 10 stone repeatedly.

32:06 People with ADHD may forget to eat due to hyperfocus, leading to unhealthy eating; using an alarm can help manage hunger cues.

36:50 Struggles with time management due to solitary computer-based work and hobbies.

37:19 Being a full-time mum is a demanding role, often undervalued, but crucial for child development, as exemplified by the speaker's appreciation of their mother, who returned to work as a teacher only after raising her children.

40:25 The speaker's 86-year-old mum is adjusting to life without her late husband, embracing newfound independence and freedom.

45:52 The speaker prioritises family over work, criticising limited parental leave options and societal stereotypes, suggesting not everyone can make this choice.

48:44 The author, who has been self-employed since the late '90s, values the freedom and autonomy gained from working for themselves. They prioritise life over work, viewing work as a means to support their life, which they attribute to age, maturity, or personal realisation.

49:50 Prioritise family over work, and focus on life-work balance. Avoid smoking, watch your drinking, and don't sweat small stuff.

TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary

Focus Keyword: Culture Change

Video Title: Building Culture Change for Positive People Experiences | #InclusionBitesPodcast

Tags: culture change, positive people experiences, inclusion, belonging, neurodiversity, psychological safety, diversity, women in STEM, leadership, workplace inclusion, DEI, EDI, intersectionality, engineering, empowerment, mental health, employee wellbeing, open conversations, gender equality, support networks, lived experience, breaking bias, HR, transformative leadership, inclusive cultures

Killer Quote:
"It's always about doing the right thing, being kind to other people, being respectful, always trying to learn different perspectives." – Sonia Perez

Hashtags:
#CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #Inclusion, #Belonging, #Diversity, #Neurodiversity, #WomenInSTEM, #PsychologicalSafety, #Leadership, #WorkplaceInclusion, #Intersectionality, #DEI, #EDI, #GenderEquality, #SupportNetworks, #MentalHealth, #Empowerment, #OpenConversations, #InclusiveCulture

Summary Description:
Ready to ignite Culture Change and champion Positive People Experiences in your world? In this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, I sit down with engineer and passionate diversity champion, Sonia Perez, to uncover how lived experience and intersectionality can drive real transformation in our workplaces. Sonia shares her journey through neurodiversity, leadership, and parenthood, illustrating how authentic inclusion goes beyond policies—it's about nurturing a culture where everyone belongs and thrives. We dive into strategies for building supportive networks, coping with bias, and leading with empathy and understanding. Listen for practical insights and personal stories that fuel genuine culture change, and join us on the journey to create more inclusive, positive workplaces. For HR professionals, DEI leaders, and anyone passionate about people—this is your call to action!

Outro:
Thank you for tuning in to Inclusion Bites—your hub for real conversations that spark culture change and nurture Positive People Experiences. If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share with your network. For more bold insights and free resources, visit SEE Change Happen at https://seechangehappen.co.uk.

Listen to the full episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen

Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood

❇️ Key topics and bullets

Certainly! Here’s a comprehensive sequence of topics covered in the episode "Building Bridges in a Biased World" of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, structured with primary topics and sub-topic bullets for clarity:

1. Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

Overview of Inclusion Bites’ purpose: sparking bold conversations on inclusion, belonging, and transformation
Introduction of Joanne Lockwood (host) and Sonia Perez (guest)
Brief context: Sonia’s background as an engineer, leader in the energy industry, and DEI champion
Initial discussion about locations (Portsmouth and Aberdeen) and the British weather

2. Sonia Perez’s Journey into DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion)

Unintentional entry driven by personal experiences and life changes
The influence of motherhood on Sonia’s perspective and priorities
How her daughter’s neurodiversity led Sonia to self-exploration and awareness
The intersection of neurodiversity, single parenthood, mental health, and identity

3. Experiences with Bias, Nationality, and Intersectionality

Sonia’s reflections on her Spanish heritage and perceptions of ethnicity
Stereotypes encountered (e.g., jokes about Spanish culture)
Limited direct negative experiences due to nationality, but awareness of others’ challenges
Navigating identity as an immigrant in the UK workplace

4. Women in Engineering and STEM: Gender Dynamics

The male-dominated landscape of engineering and its impacts
The pressure to fit in, mask behaviour, and manage ‘acting’ vs. authenticity
Use of ‘playing dumb’ as a strategy to navigate sexism and avoid backlash
Differences in leadership behaviour and responses to assertiveness
The importance of building supportive networks (“village”) for career growth

5. Advice for Future Generations

Guidance for Sonia’s daughter and other young people entering the workforce
The significance of cultivating supportive professional and personal communities
Encouraging authenticity and advocating for equal opportunities
Recognising the cumulative impact of generational progress

6. Psychological Safety and Masking

The concept of psychological safety, especially ‘inclusion safety’
Realisation and emotional impact of lifelong masking and late neurodiversity diagnosis
Challenges of authenticity and increased self-acceptance over time
Family support and the ripple effect of learning about neurodivergence

7. Neurodiversity: Discovery and Manifestations

Identifying neurodivergent traits in her daughter and herself
Overlapping features of ADHD, autism, and ‘giftedness’
Stereotypes and gender disparities in neurodiversity diagnosis
The impact of neurodivergence on school, work, and relationships
Sonia’s formal diagnosis as an adult and its influence on self-concept

8. Neurodiversity within a STEM Career

The interplay between giftedness, ADHD, and engineering skills
Challenges in detail-orientated tasks versus strengths in abstract thinking and empathy
Workplace dynamics: team building, filling gaps, and leadership style
The value of “finding your learning zone” and building effective teams

9. Generational Shifts and Societal Progress

Perspectives on societal advancement in DEI conversations
Increased openness regarding neurodiversity, gender, and sexuality
The slow pace of change and reasons to remain optimistic

10. Mental Health and Neurodiversity

Sonia’s exploration of her history with eating disorders
Links between neurodiversity (especially ADHD and autism) and disordered eating in women
Discussions of coping mechanisms, binge behaviours, and emotional eating
Differences in how men and women experience mental health challenges

11. Balancing Parenthood, Career, and Self-Development

The tension between pursuing a career, parenthood, and personal growth
Reflections on gendered expectations and choices around family versus work
The evolving role of men and women in household responsibilities
The notion that "life is long"—priorities and opportunities may shift over time

12. Creating Inclusive Cultures: Practical Involvement

Sonia’s role in internal women’s, neurodiversity, and LGBTQ+ groups (employee resource groups)
Engagement with industry bodies to promote underrepresented groups in STEM
The importance of allyship, advocacy, and visible leadership

13. Reflections on Fulfilment and Legacy

Re-evaluating markers of success: happiness, achievement, and self-discovery
The impact of life choices on long-term wellbeing and family
Shared anecdotes around parental roles and changes across generations
Encouragement for listeners to reflect on their own priorities and definitions of happiness

14. Personal Passions and Hobbies

Sonia’s interest in writing and aspirations to publish
The significance of having interests beyond work and parenting
Balancing personal hobbies with professional and familial commitments

15. Closing the Conversation

Ways for listeners to connect with Sonia Perez (LinkedIn details)
Joanne’s closing remarks, gratitude to listeners, and a call to action
Reinforcement of the podcast’s mission to foster inclusivity, challenge norms, and inspire change

This structure captures the comprehensive flow of the episode, highlighting the interconnected sub-topics that give depth and nuance to the conversation about inclusion, diversity, and personal transformation.

🗞️ Newsletter

Subject: Building Bridges in a Biased World – Your Latest Inclusion Bites Newsletter

Hello Inclusion Bites Community,

We're back with another compelling episode that's bound to resonate with you, whether you’re winding down after a long day or looking for inspiration with your morning coffee. In Episode 169, "Building Bridges in a Biased World," host Joanne Lockwood is joined by the insightful Sonia Perez—an engineer, leader, and passionate DEI champion in the energy sector. This episode delves deep into the reality of navigating bias, neurodiversity, and psychological safety in the workplace.

Here’s what you’ll find inside this week’s listen:

1. Lived Experience and Intersectionality
Sonia shares the complexity of her identity—from being a single mother and a woman in STEM, to realising her own neurodivergence through her daughter's journey. Her story challenges us: How often do we truly see the multifaceted identities of colleagues past the surface?

2. Surviving (and Thriving) in Male-Dominated Spaces
From ‘playing dumb’ to fit in, to learning the art of networking and building your village, Sonia offers unfiltered reflections on the subtle—and sometimes blatant—ways bias shapes women’s experiences at work. Her advice? Seek out your supporters and don’t be afraid to take up space.

3. The Hidden Load of Masking
As Sonia describes her late diagnosis and years of masking her true self, the toll becomes clear—a call for greater psychological safety in all our workplaces. Joanne and Sonia discuss how being forced to cover parts of one’s identity creates an unsustainable cognitive burden.

4. Neurodiversity and Achievement in STEM
The episode demystifies misconceptions about neurodiversity and ‘giftedness’. Sonia’s vulnerability in discussing her own ‘imposter’ feelings and her journey through engineering is both relatable and affirming. Both speakers highlight the need to design workplaces that embrace varied cognitive styles.

5. The Ongoing Progress in Inclusion
Are things really getting better? Sonia believes so, citing the growing conversations and visibility across neurodiversity, gender identity, and mental health. Yet, she reminds us—systemic change takes time, and we each have a role to play in challenging the status quo.

6. Balancing Careers, Parenthood, and Expectations
Sonia and Joanne reflect on the still-pervasive gendered expectations in both home and work life. The question remains: Can we have it all? Or, as Sonia’s group suggests, “You can have everything, just not all at the same time.”

Action This Week:

Reflect: Who’s in your ‘village’ at work? How do you support—and seek support from—others with lived experiences different to your own?
Engage: Have you faced challenges around masking at work or navigating bias in your sector? Share your story with us!
Connect: Want to go deeper or join the conversation? Reach out to Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.

Catch the latest episode here:
Listen to “Building Bridges in a Biased World”

Thanks for being part of the Inclusion Bites community, where together we foster a culture of belonging—one episode at a time.

Keep building bridges,
Joanne Lockwood

#InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences

Want your voice heard on the podcast? Share your insights or get in touch via email, and don’t forget to subscribe for bold conversations that disrupt, challenge, and spark change!

Guest's content for their marketing

Reflecting on My Guest Appearance: Building Bridges in a Biased World with Inclusion Bites

I recently had the privilege of being featured as a guest on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, hosted by the insightful Joanne Lockwood. The episode, fittingly titled Building Bridges in a Biased World, gave me an opportunity to openly share my journey as an engineer, leader, and advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion within the energy sector.

From the outset, the conversation was warm, authentic, and powerfully thought-provoking. As someone who came into DEI not by plan but by necessity—navigating motherhood, single parenting, and later learning of my own neurodivergence—I found it incredibly meaningful to be able to voice the genuine challenges I have faced, and continue to face, both as a woman and as a neurodivergent individual in a male-dominated sector.

One of the highlights of our conversation was exploring the nuanced reality of intersectionality—how overlapping aspects of identity, such as gender, nationality, and neurodiversity, have shaped my professional experience. We delved into the subtle and overt ways bias manifests in the engineering world, and how I, like many others, have adapted my behaviour to fit into spaces that were not originally designed with us in mind. We discussed the tension of ‘masking’—downplaying one’s own expertise or authentic self—to appease others and avoid pushback, particularly in environments where being both assertive and female can be misconstrued.

A particularly resonant moment for me was reflecting on how my own journey towards understanding neurodiversity was catalysed by my daughter’s experience. This personal awakening to traits of ADHD and giftedness made me realise just how widespread and underacknowledged these differences still are, especially for women.

Our dialogue also touched on systemic matters: the enduring gender gap in STEM, balancing single parenthood with a career, and the mental health dimensions of navigating complex identities. These are not just abstract workplace issues—these are lived realities that require ongoing cultural shifts and more robust support networks. For me, building those networks—finding my “village”—has been indispensable.

To fellow professionals, aspiring engineers, or anyone who has ever felt like the 'other', my message on the podcast was clear: seek out those who champion you, take up space, and do not be afraid to challenge the status quo. Progress may not happen overnight, but each candid conversation—like this one—moves us closer.

I’m grateful to Joanne and the Inclusion Bites community for holding space for these vital conversations and amplifying voices like mine. If you’re interested in pressing matters of inclusion, belonging, and leadership in challenging sectors, I warmly invite you to listen to our episode and to connect with me on LinkedIn. Together, let’s keep building those bridges.

Listen to the episode here: Inclusion Bites – Building Bridges in a Biased World

#InclusionBites #DiversityInSTEM #Neurodiversity #WomenInEngineering #PsychologicalSafety #Belonging #SeeChangeHappen

Pain Points and Challenges

Certainly! Drawing directly from the conversation between Sonia Perez and Joanne Lockwood in the podcast episode "Building Bridges in a Biased World," the discussion illuminated a series of pain points and challenges linked to inclusion, neurodiversity, gender, and workplace culture. Below, you'll find a detailed list of these challenges, followed by tailored content and approaches for addressing each:

Pain Points & Challenges Highlighted

The Pressure to Conform and Masking Behaviours
- Sonia described how, as a woman in engineering, she felt compelled to ‘play dumb’ or ‘mask’ her true self to avoid perceived arrogance or assertiveness, which would otherwise be penalised.
- The emotional labour and cognitive load of concealing neurodivergent traits or adapting behaviour for acceptance.
Lack of Psychological Safety
- Difficulty in being authentic at work due to fear of judgement, exclusion, or backlash for simply being different.
- Realisation only much later that masking was occurring at all, and that this masking is unsustainable and mentally exhausting.
Underrepresentation and Systemic Stereotypes
- Engineering and STEM fields remain male dominated, often leaving women and those from diverse backgrounds isolated.
- Persistent stereotypes regarding nationality (jokes about Spanish people being ‘lazy’, for instance), gender, and neurodivergence.
Navigating Neurodiversity
- Late diagnosis of neurodiversity, compounded by a lack of open conversations or understanding in earlier life and career.
- The personal impact of intersecting identities – being a single mother, neurodivergent, and working in a traditionally masculine industry.
Career versus Family Expectations
- The cultural expectation (and structural limitations) that women must choose between career progression and family, whereas men are pressured to ‘choose’ work.
- The challenge for both parents: either missing out on career development (for women) or family life (for men).
Mental Health and Eating Disorders Linked to Intersectional Experience
- Higher incidence of conditions such as eating disorders among neurodivergent women, influenced by perfectionism, impulsivity, and social pressures.
- Feelings of not fitting in or not being ‘enough’ further complicate personal wellbeing.
Energy, Motivation, and Burnout
- For gifted or neurodivergent individuals, lack of challenge quickly leads to boredom; hyper-focus can be productive but also draining and difficult to sustain.
- The difficulty of keeping sustained energy in environments that do not nurture individual strengths or permit autonomy.
Limited Representation and Support Networks
- The importance—yet scarcity—of supportive ‘villages’ or networks in male-dominated industries and for neurodivergent people.

Content Focused on Addressing These Issues

1. Cultivating Psychological Safety in Teams

Foster open dialogue: Regularly invite everyone to share their perspectives without fear of interruption or ridicule.
Address microaggressions swiftly, including jokes or comments about nationality, gender, or ability. Make it clear these are not part of an inclusive culture.
Train managers in recognising the signs of masking and burnout, so that authentic expression is normalised and supported.

2. Challenging Systemic Bias and Stereotypes

Run workshops on unconscious bias, specifically tailored to address gendered and culturally rooted stereotypes in technical settings.
Celebrate diverse talents and stories, including those of women, neurodivergent colleagues, and immigrants—move beyond tokenism by giving them positions of real influence and visibility.

3. Rethinking Work Models for Inclusion

Promote flexible work arrangements that recognise the dual responsibilities (and ambitions) of parents of all genders.
Review parental leave policies to be gender-inclusive, allowing both men and women real choice without penalty.
Provide clear, structured career development pathways for those returning from career breaks or transitioning roles due to family responsibilities.

4. Better Neurodiversity Support

Establish neurodiversity employee resource groups and safe spaces for sharing experiences and best practices.
Offer training on reasonable adjustments, such as quiet workspaces, clear written instructions, or visually-structured tasks.
Encourage leaders to publicly discuss their own neurodivergence or learning journeys, reducing stigma and opening doors for others.

5. Addressing Mental Health Proactively

Signpost mental health resources relevant to intersectional needs (e.g., neurodivergent women’s support, eating disorder helplines).
Incorporate regular check-ins focusing not only on work output but also on wellbeing and personal development.
Offer confidential mentoring programmes pairing those with lived experience to new or struggling colleagues.

6. Building and Strengthening Networks (‘Villages’)

Support and fund grassroots affinity groups (e.g., Women+ in STEM, neurodiversity collectives).
Provide cross-industry networking opportunities to break isolation and share practical strategies for navigating bias.
Recognise and honour those who act as allies and network-builders within the organisation.

7. Managing Motivation and Preventing Burnout

Assign challenging and varied projects to those with “gifted” profiles or high motivation cycles.
Allow autonomy in the ‘how’ of work; permit self-directed projects or research sprints.
Train managers to spot signs of imminent burnout, such as disengagement or abrupt shifts in enthusiasm, and intervene supportively.

Rhetorical Considerations

What would your organisation gain if everyone could bring their whole self to work—creativity, loyalty, innovation?
How do you ensure the next generation (your children, your mentees) experience a more inclusive, safe workplace than you entered?
Can you afford to lose talented individuals simply because you’re unwittingly reinforcing ‘the way it’s always been done’?

The Inclusion Bites Podcast not only exposes these pain points but provides both lived experience and practical strategies for forging a more inclusive, resilient, and equitable future. For further insights, listen to the full episode or connect with Joanne Lockwood via jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. Join the conversation: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen

Questions Asked that were insightful

Absolutely, the interview between Joanne Lockwood and Sonia Perez provides several questions and responses that naturally lend themselves to a well-rounded series of FAQs. These questions not only probe individual experience but also draw out broader insights relevant to inclusion, neurodiversity, gender, and navigating a biased world. Below are suggested FAQs that encapsulate the most insightful exchanges from the episode, “Building Bridges in a Biased World”:

1. How did Sonia Perez initially become involved in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work?
Sonia explained that her journey into DEI was “incidental,” driven largely by her personal experiences as a new mother, a single parent, and later through the realisation of her own neurodivergence after noticing traits in her daughter. These intersectional challenges heightened her awareness and passion for advocating inclusion and psychological safety.

2. Has Sonia’s cultural background affected her workplace experience in the UK?
Sonia clarified that, whilst she is of Spanish origin and darker-skinned than some Brits, she has not personally faced significant challenges due to her nationality or skin colour. She identified occasional stereotypes (such as jokes about Spanish people being lazy), but nothing that fundamentally shaped her work life, unlike many others who face more pervasive bias.

3. What challenges has Sonia experienced as a woman in engineering and the STEM sector?
She described frequently being the only woman in the room and feeling pressure to “fit in” by acting like her male peers. Sonia explained that she often “played dumb” to avoid being perceived as arrogant or overly assertive—a coping strategy she found frustratingly necessary to navigate the male-dominated environment.

4. What advice would Sonia give to her daughter or other young women entering the workplace?
Sonia strongly recommended building a supportive “village” or network, as well as occupying space confidently and being vocal about needs and aspirations. She emphasised the progress being made due to speaking up and challenging the status quo, which makes it easier for future generations.

5. How did neurodiversity manifest in Sonia’s personal and professional life?
Following the discovery of her daughter’s neurodivergence and subsequent self-diagnosis, Sonia reflected on a lifetime of masking—unconsciously adapting her behaviour to fit norms, which resulted in significant emotional and cognitive burden. She identified “giftedness”, ADHD traits, and an evolving understanding of her identity, impacting everything from communication style to her need for challenges.

6. How does Sonia approach her strengths and limitations at work as a neurodivergent engineer?
She highlighted the importance of leveraging her strengths, such as abstract thinking and empathy, and building effective teams that balance individual skills. Sonia also stressed the importance of networks and mentors to fill capability gaps, echoing advice that one need not “know everything,” but instead should collaborate and delegate.

7. Does Sonia believe we are making progress in workplace inclusion?
Yes—Sonia noted a marked improvement, especially in open discussion around neurodiversity, gender, and previously “taboo” topics, although she recognises that systemic changes are ongoing and unlikely to be fully realised within a single generation.

8. Has Sonia’s gender or neurodiversity influenced her experience with mental health, specifically eating disorders?
Sonia drew a link between neurodivergence, gender, and a heightened propensity toward eating disorders, based on personal experience and research. She noted different patterns: impulsive binge eating connected to ADHD, and more rigid eating behaviours associated with autism—both influenced by societal expectations, especially for women.

9. How does Sonia balance career ambitions with parenthood, and does she think men face similar challenges?
Sonia argued that both women and men often face difficult choices—women may feel compelled to choose family over career, while men are “forced” by social structures to prioritise work. She advocates for the recognition that life is long and phases change, so one can have everything, just not all at once.

10. What role does Sonia believe Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) and professional networks have played in her journey?
Sonia underscored the value of ERGs—such as women’s and neurodiversity support networks—in providing belonging, advocacy, and a platform for driving inclusion within organisations and industry bodies.

These FAQs capture the breadth and depth of the conversation, translating key themes and lived experiences from the transcript into digestible, actionable reflections for the podcast audience.

Blog article based on the episode

Building Bridges in a Biased World: Lessons in Authentic Leadership from Sonia Perez

What does it truly mean to belong? In a world riddled with bias, masks, and silent rules, can any of us be our truest selves at work? Or are we destined to play roles, fit in, and accommodate expectations we never set?

Welcome to the latest insight from Inclusion Bites Podcast, hosted by Joanne Lockwood. Our episode, “Building Bridges in a Biased World,” is not just a conversation—it’s a clarion call for authenticity, psychological safety, and the pragmatic pursuit of inclusion. Inspired by our guest, Sonia Perez—engineer, leader, neurodiversity advocate, and mother—this blog will distil the lessons from her lived experience and offer actionable ways organisations, leaders, and individuals can start building genuine bridges, not just ticking inclusion boxes.

The Problem: Hidden Biases and the Cost of Masking

Despite decades of diversity and inclusion initiatives, many workplaces remain inhospitable territories for those who do not fit the traditional mould. Sonia Perez’s journey—spanning from being the “only woman in the room” as a mechanical engineer to discovering her neurodivergence through her daughter’s diagnosis—reflects the daily micro-adjustments, silent struggles, and sometimes, outright sacrifices made in pursuit of professional acceptance.

Sonia speaks of masking—not just as a neurodivergent person but simply as a woman in STEM, often needing to ‘play dumb’ to avoid bruising egos or appearing ‘arrogant’ for being competent. This phenomenon is far from rare; many from underrepresented backgrounds share similar stories of reshaping themselves to fit in. This daily act of self-effacement—the inability to bring one’s whole self—undermines mental health, stifles innovation, and ultimately leads to attrition.

A poignant reflection from Sonia encapsulates the malaise:

“If you make a mistake, then, well, that’s kind of… it kind of explodes in your face. So playing dumb kind of works. You’re appeasing people to ensure success by not creating waves… You have to hide who you are.”

The cost? Talented individuals spend precious cognitive energy navigating perception, not solving problems or driving change.

Beyond Identity: The Complexity of Intersectionality

Sonia’s identity—as a neurodivergent, immigrant woman, and single mother—highlights the intricate web of intersectionality. She is candid about both the privileges and the subtle forms of ‘othering’ she experiences. While she rarely faced overt racism, assumptions based on nationality (‘all Spaniards have siestas’) and gender (“object of sexist jokes”) manifest in everyday interactions.

What is frequently overlooked in many corporate DEI efforts is precisely this: the multi-layered, evolving interaction between different aspects of identity—not all of which are visible, and many of which remain unspoken. Sonia describes how the discovery of her own neurodivergence through her daughter led to a years-long process of self-understanding—only recently grasping how much of her life had been spent ‘masking’ unconsciously.

How many others, one must ask, are walking corridors with untold stories beneath curated exteriors?

Pathways to Change: Actionable Takeaways

So, what can be done? How do we move from silent compliance to radical inclusion, from ticking boxes to true belonging?

1. Build Your Village

Sonia’s advice to her daughter entering the workplace is as relevant for us all: “Build your village. There will always be people who want to see you fail… but also those who want you to succeed. Find that network which supports and validates you.”

Mentorship and Sponsorship: Employers should foster networks and resource groups for underrepresented identities—whether of gender, neurotype, or ethnicity—but, crucially, with active sponsorship from leadership.
Peer Support: Individuals should seek allies and mentors, recognising that resilience is communal, not individualistic.

2. Rethink Leadership and Value Difference

Sonia’s lived expertise refutes the myth that leadership is about bravado and always having the answer. Her strength lies in asking questions, synthesising diverse viewpoints, and allowing teams to fill in each other's gaps. As she reflects, “A very wise mentor once told me: ‘You don’t have to know everything—you just have to surround yourself with people who can fill in your gaps.’”

Inclusive Leadership: Leaders must be trained to recognise and celebrate diverse talents—not just those that resemble the archetypal ‘confident’ model.
Psychological Safety: Foster environments where challenge is welcomed, not penalised; where candour is the default, not the risk.

3. Challenge, Don't Conform

Referencing her own journey, Sonia encourages a mindset of speaking up rather than ‘accepting the state of the status quo.’ Modern workplaces must invite challenge—whether that’s exposing policies that sideline working mothers, or calling out inflexible working norms that penalise neurodivergent talent.

Employee Voice: Mechanisms for feedback—anonymous if necessary—need to be embedded and acted on, not just performed for audits.
Culture of Curiosity: Cultivate a questioning culture. Are job specifications and success measures unwittingly biased towards certain behaviours? Are there invisible barriers to progression for those who cannot or will not mask?

4. Support through Life’s Ebbs and Flows

Sonia is refreshingly honest about the real-life trade-offs between career and care, ambition and wellbeing. For decades, structures have forced women to ‘choose’ between achievement and parenthood, and men to sacrifice family for work.

Flexible Work Policies: True inclusion means acknowledging and supporting diverse routes through life and work; job-sharing, flexible hours, and re-entry pathways must be normalised.
Mental Health and Neurodiversity Support: Ensure access to diagnosis, reasonable adjustments, and awareness training at every level.

The Bridge Ahead: Our Shared Responsibility

As Sonia reminds us, progress is real—we now discuss neurodiversity and psychological safety in ways inconceivable even a decade ago. However, the journey is far from complete. Building bridges in a biased world requires each of us to disrupt, challenge, and converse—again and again.

What can you do next?

If you are a leader, audit your own behaviours: Are you genuinely open to diverse perspectives, or merely tolerant?
If you are an employee, seek out your village, and pay it forward by supporting others.
If you are shaping inclusion policy, prioritise intersectional lived experience over surface diversity metrics.

Ready to become part of the solution?

Listen to the full episode of “Building Bridges in a Biased World,” and let Sonia Perez’s story inspire actionable change in your sphere of influence.

Stay connected, stay curious, and above all—dare to be yourself.

For more insights and bold conversations, subscribe to Inclusion Bites Podcast, hosted by Joanne Lockwood. Have thoughts, stories, or want to join the conversation? Get in touch at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. Explore more episodes and show notes at Inclusion Bites Listen.

FAQs from the Episode

FAQ: Building Bridges in a Biased World — Inclusion Bites Podcast, Episode 169

1. Who are the speakers in this episode, and what are their backgrounds?
The episode features Sonia Perez, an engineer and leader in the energy industry, who is also a passionate advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), focusing on neurodiversity and psychological safety in the workplace. Joanne Lockwood, Founder of SEE Change Happen, is the host, driving conversations on inclusive cultures and belonging.

2. How did Sonia Perez become involved in DEI advocacy?
Sonia’s journey into DEI was not planned. Her interest was sparked by personal experience—becoming a mother, navigating the balance between work and family life, and realising both she and her daughter are neurodivergent. These lived experiences prompted a deep, personal engagement with inclusion, neurodiversity, and mental health in the workplace.

3. Has Sonia experienced challenges related to her ethnic background in the UK workplace?
Sonia identifies as Spanish, and while she notes her skin is somewhat darker than the ‘average Brit’, she hasn’t experienced significant obstacles due to her ethnicity. She acknowledges some cultural stereotyping, such as jokes about siestas and Spanish laziness, but these have not fundamentally shaped her workplace journey.

4. What are Sonia’s experiences as a woman in STEM and engineering?
Sonia has often been the only woman in the room, both at university and professionally. She observes that, in male-dominated environments, she has felt compelled to “play dumb” to be accepted—prefacing expertise with questions rather than assertive statements, in order to avoid being labelled as arrogant or overconfident. This masking took a psychological toll.

5. How does masking impact those who are neurodivergent or part of minority groups?
Masking—adapting behaviour, tone, or even personality to fit in—can create significant cognitive and emotional strain, particularly for neurodivergent individuals and those from underrepresented groups. Sonia spoke about only recently realising the extent to which she masked her authentic self at work, which she now finds more difficult after understanding her neurodivergence.

6. What advice does Sonia give younger generations, especially her daughter, about entering the workplace?
Sonia emphasises the importance of building a supportive network, or ‘village’, to counteract systemic barriers and negative voices. She encourages new entrants to “take your space,” speak openly about important issues, and not to acquiesce to the status quo, noting progress comes from challenging and changing existing norms.

7. What is psychological safety, and why is it highlighted in this episode?
Psychological safety refers to an environment where individuals feel able to bring their whole selves to work, express their ideas, and admit mistakes without fear of retribution. Both Joanne and Sonia recognise this as a foundation for true inclusion—encompassing neurodiversity, gender, ethnicity, and more.

8. How does neurodiversity intersect with experiences of gender and mental health in this episode?
Sonia’s diagnosis of ADHD and giftedness—uncovered as she explored her daughter’s neurodivergence—illuminates how neurodiverse women in particular often go undiagnosed, internalising struggles and misattributing them to personal failings. She also discusses a higher propensity for eating disorders among neurodivergent women, due to societal pressures and psychological coping mechanisms.

9. How does Sonia navigate career progression in male-dominated sectors whilst remaining authentic?
Sonia credits her achievements to her ability to form strong networks, invest in personal learning, and surround herself with those who value her authentic self. She candidly admits that navigating such spaces remains complex and context-dependent.

10. Are we truly making progress in inclusion, DEI, and addressing bias?
Both Sonia and Joanne agree progress is evident: there is more open conversation about neurodiversity, gender, sexuality, and mental health than in previous decades. Change is slow but cumulative. Sonia notes, “We’re not starting from scratch; our children benefit from battles we’ve already fought.”

11. How does work-life balance and parenthood affect women’s careers, according to the discussion?
The episode addresses the persistent conflict between career ambition and family responsibilities. Sonia highlights a poignant quote: “You can have everything—just not all at the same time,” recognising that both women and men make sacrifices, albeit often along different lines due to societal expectations and structural limitations.

12. Does Sonia have interests outside engineering and DEI?
Yes. Sonia is also passionate about writing and has completed master’s degrees in both engineering and creative writing. Although time for hobbies is scarce, writing provides an important creative outlet.

13. How can listeners contact Sonia Perez or get involved with Inclusion Bites?
Sonia can be reached via LinkedIn (Sonia Perez). Listeners are encouraged to connect and share their own experiences. Joanne Lockwood is also available at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk for insights, guest appearances, or broader discussions on inclusion.

Find the episode and further resources at:
Inclusion Bites Podcast

If you have further questions for the speakers or would like to propose future episode topics, contact Joanne directly or join the Inclusion Bites community to keep the conversation flourishing.

Tell me more about the guest and their views

The guest for this episode, Sonia Perez, brings a rich and multidimensional perspective to the theme of inclusion. Sonia is an engineer and leader in the energy sector, based in Aberdeen, who has become a dedicated advocate for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), particularly around neurodiversity and psychological safety in the workplace.

Sonia’s Personal and Professional Journey:
Sonia’s engagement with DEI arose organically from her lived experiences, especially after becoming a mother and suspecting – then confirming – neurodivergence in both herself and her daughter. Sonia’s journey is marked by the intersectionality of her identity: as a woman in a male-dominated field, a single parent, and someone navigating the complexities of being neurodivergent.

Her Views on Identity and Work:
Sonia candidly discusses the nuanced realities of being a woman in engineering and STEM, describing how she often felt “the only woman in the room” and, in retrospect, recognises the pressure to fit in by masking her authentic self. She notes a survival strategy of “playing dumb” to avoid backlash when challenging male colleagues – a coping mechanism to ease day-to-day interactions, though it constrained her ability to be fully authentic.

While she doesn’t identify her background as a significant obstacle in the workplace (she mentions her Spanish heritage was more of a point of curiosity than discrimination), Sonia is keenly aware of stereotypes and jokes about her nationality and broader societal biases.

Views on Neurodiversity and Mental Health:
Sonia speaks openly about her late diagnosis of ADHD and giftedness, prompted by her daughter's neurodivergent traits. She highlights the underdiagnosis of neurodiverse women and the substantial impact of masking, which she only realised recently had been a constant feature of her life. This self-discovery has led her to embrace her authentic self, despite the additional challenges.

She ties her neurodivergence to mental health, honestly discussing struggles with eating disorders and addictive behaviours, suggesting a strong link between neurodivergence (particularly ADHD in her case) and such challenges. Sonia uses her platform and experiences to raise awareness, foster dialogue, and create supportive networks within her sector.

Beliefs About Success and Inclusion:
Sonia attributes much of her professional progression to her network or “village”, advocating the importance of seeking out those who champion your strengths, especially when others might feel threatened. She sees real progress towards inclusion, pointing to growing conversations around neurodiversity, gender identity, and psychological safety that previously would have been stifled or ignored.

Her advice to future generations, including her daughter, is to “build your village” and to persistently take up space, advocating for oneself and others to challenge the status quo and not be limited by it.

Current Passions:
Although currently not in a leadership role, Sonia has held significant leadership responsibilities and has chaired a variety of women’s, neurodiversity, and gender-inclusive support networks, both within her workplace and more widely in the industry. She is also passionate about creative writing, having completed a master’s in the field and written several novels—evidence of her multifaceted identity and commitment to self-actualisation outside of work.

Overarching Philosophy:
Sonia’s approach is rooted in compassion, honesty, and a belief in long-term progress. She acknowledges that societal and workplace barriers remain and that authentic inclusion requires both personal courage and structural change. Furthermore, she believes happiness cannot be achieved by following prescribed paths alone, but requires space for self-discovery and genuine human connection.

In essence, Sonia brings a holistic, humble, yet quietly determined voice to the inclusion conversation – recognising both the importance of systemic change and the power of individual experience.

Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode

Certainly! Drawing directly from the themes, lived experiences, and rich insights shared in this episode of Inclusion Bites—“Building Bridges in a Biased World” with Sonia Perez and host Joanne Lockwood—here are well-informed ideas for future training and workshops:

1. Masking, Neurodiversity & Psychological Safety

Objective: Explore the concept of masking, especially among neurodivergent individuals in the workplace. Examine its impact on mental health, identity, and sense of belonging.
Content:

Understanding masking: recognising when and why people feel pressured to hide aspects of themselves.
Case studies and lived stories (such as Sonia’s experience of late ADHD diagnosis).
Building psychologically safe spaces: practical strategies for leaders and colleagues.
Activities: Role-play scenarios; self-reflection exercises; small group discussions.

2. Intersectionality at Work: Navigating Multiple Identities

Objective: Deepen awareness of how overlapping identities (gender, neurodiversity, culture, single parenthood) influence workplace interactions, opportunities, and challenges.
Content:

Defining intersectionality with workplace-based examples.
Microaggressions and unconscious bias—not just race or gender, but neurodiversity, parenting, and nationality.
Strategies for creating “villages” of support.
Activities: Intersectionality mapping exercises; real-case interactive panels.

3. Challenging Gender Norms in STEM & Male-Dominated Sectors

Objective: Understand the subtle biases faced by women and marginalised genders in STEM settings, from university through to leadership roles.
Content:

The impact of “acting dumb” to avoid backlash (as Sonia described).
Navigational strategies: balancing authenticity with professional perceptions.
Building supportive networks—allyship, sponsorship, and mentoring.
Activities: Group debate; allyship action planning; story-sharing circle.

4. Neurodivergent Flourishing: From Diagnosis to Empowerment

Objective: Equip participants to better understand and support neurodivergent colleagues, fostering inclusive practices and policies.
Content:

De-mystifying ADHD, autism, and giftedness—moving beyond stereotypes.
Practical workplace adjustments, communication tips, and emotional support mechanisms.
Family impacts: supporting parents and carers navigating diagnosis and self-awareness.
Activities: Sensory experience exercises; LEGO® Serious Play or creative problem-solving tasks.

5. Breaking the Silence: Mental Health, Eating Disorders & Professional Success

Objective: Destigmatise discussion of mental health and eating disorders in professional environments, underscoring their links with neurodiversity and gender.
Content:

How masking, belonging, and societal expectations can fuel eating disorders.
Recognising early signs; empathetic response training.
Building peer support networks; signposting to expert help.
Activities: Guided anonymous sharing; myth-busting quizzes.

6. Career, Parenthood & Self-Actualisation: Redefining Success

Objective: Address practical and psychological dilemmas faced by working parents and carers—balancing ambition, fulfilment, and family.
Content:

The myth of “having it all at the same time”.
Gendered expectations: making conscious choices; advocating for better support.
Personal development planning with a holistic lens.
Activities: Values clarification; future-self visualisation; peer mentoring set-up.

7. Building Your Village: Networks, ERGs, and Real Allyship

Objective: Facilitate establishment and strengthening of support networks—Employee Resource Groups (ERGs), informal alliances, and cross-company communities.
Content:

Sonia’s experience with Women+ and Neurodiversity networks—what makes a support group truly effective?
Designing inclusive ERGs: for all genders, neurotypes, cultures.
Measuring impact: from conversation to real change.
Activities: Blueprint development; SWOT analysis; “ally speed-dating” networking.

Delivery Recommendations:

Blend expert facilitation with lived experience storytelling.
Use both in-person and online formats to increase accessibility.
Encourage ongoing reflection and accountability after each session.

Target Audience:
HR leaders, middle managers, ERG organisers, line managers in STEM or male-dominated fields, mental health champions, neurodivergent staff, and their allies.

For more inspiration and context, listeners can always revisit the episode at seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.

These workshops and trainings not only reflect the powerful dialogue of this episode but are designed to ensure the bold conversations turn into everyday actions.

Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode

Subject: Building Bridges in a Biased World – Inclusion Bites Podcast Episode 169 🎧

Hello Inclusion Champions,

Ready for a fresh dose of inspiration and real talk? Episode 169 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, “Building Bridges in a Biased World,” has just landed! Joanne Lockwood warmly welcomes Sonia Perez, a mechanical engineer, diversity champion, and all-round powerhouse, for a conversation that’s as insightful as it is uplifting.

Grab a cuppa, pop in your earbuds, and let’s dive into what makes this conversation unmissable…

5 Keys You’ll Take Away from This Episode:

Authenticity Over Conformity: Discover how Sonia’s lived experience as a neurodivergent woman and single mum led her to unlearn the habit of “masking” and embrace her full, authentic self—both at home and at work.
Building Your Village: Learn why community and support networks (or as Sonia calls them, “villages”) are indispensable, especially when navigating challenging or biased environments in male-dominated sectors.
The Reality for Women in STEM: Hear about the subtle ways women, particularly in engineering, may feel pressure to “play dumb” or dim their light to fit in—and Sonia’s candid strategies for both coping and thriving.
Rethinking Success and Balance: Sonia and Joanne unpack the complex juggling act between career ambition and parenthood, and challenge the “have it all” myth with refreshing honesty.
Mental Health and Neurodiversity: The episode connects the dots between neurodiversity, mental health, and societal expectations, especially around eating disorders and the importance of psychological safety in the workplace.

Unique Fact from the Episode:
Sonia’s deep dive into neurodiversity began when she was navigating her daughter’s diagnosis—only to discover that she herself is both ADHD and what’s defined (in some countries!) as “gifted”! This awakening reshaped not only her self-understanding but also her leadership style and advocacy.

Tune In, Take Action:

Ready for a story that will challenge your assumptions, inspire you to find your village, and give you practical, real-life perspectives on building inclusion? Listen now and join the movement for positive change!

🎧 Listen to Episode 169: Building Bridges in a Biased World

How will you build bridges in your own world? Share your reflections, questions, or your own story with Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk—or reach out if you’d like to feature in a future episode!

Stay bold, stay curious, and keep igniting inclusion—one conversation at a time.

Warm wishes,
The Inclusion Bites Podcast Team
#InclusionBites #BuildingBridges #UntoldStories

Let’s keep the conversation going. Catch you on the next bite!

L&D Insights

Certainly! Here’s a Learning & Development (L&D) expert take on the Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, Building Bridges in a Biased World, distilled for busy Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI professionals:

✨ Key Takeaways & “Aha Moments” from Inclusion Bites: Building Bridges in a Biased World

1. The Power of Lived Experience in Leadership

Sonia Perez’s journey demonstrates that authentic inclusion work often springs not from formal training but from personal experience. Her neurodiversity journey—sparked by her daughter’s diagnosis—shows the deep interconnections between identity, family, and professional life. Senior leaders should recognise that true DEI (Diversity, Equity & Inclusion) champions often emerge organically and that these voices bring invaluable perspectives. Aha moment: Sometimes, those best equipped to enact change are those who have walked the journey themselves.

2. Intersectionality: Beyond Single Narratives

The episode challenges the urge to pigeonhole people. Sonia’s narrative (as a Spanish immigrant, woman in STEM, neurodivergent, single mother) illustrates that identities overlap, and organisations must avoid overly simplistic labels when designing policies or interventions. Aha moment: Intersectionality is not a ‘nice-to-have’; it’s a necessity for psychological safety and effective inclusion.

3. Masking and the Hidden Cost of ‘Fitting In’

The concept of ‘masking’—where employees conceal parts of their identity to blend in—came through powerfully. It’s a cognitive and emotional drain that hinders performance and well-being. Notably, masking often goes unnoticed by those with social privilege. Aha moment: The absence of visible discomfort does not mean inclusion is present—leaders need to create spaces where people can truly be themselves.

4. Networking as a Survival and Thriving Strategy

Sonia emphasised the importance of ‘building your village’—identifying supporters and allies at work. Change is rarely about individual heroics, but about the networks that support and sustain talent, especially those from underrepresented backgrounds. Aha moment: Focusing on fostering strong peer and ally networks can be a more powerful inclusion strategy than top-down interventions alone.

5. The Challenge for Women (and Men) in Work-Life Balance

The conversation revealed that career-family trade-offs are not borne equally: while women often feel forced to choose family (sometimes to the detriment of progression), men are often compelled to prioritise work, sacrificing family time. Aha moment: Policies must acknowledge these trade-offs and support genuine choice for all genders, challenging stereotypes in the process.

6. Neurodiversity Spotlight: Reframing Strengths and Needs

From ADHD to giftedness, Sonia reframed what organisations often call ‘challenges’ as potential strengths, e.g., creativity, hyper-focus, abstract thinking. Yet, inflexible systems risk excluding this talent. Aha moment: Recruitment, promotion, and leadership development must be re-examined for neuroinclusivity, valuing different working patterns and strengths.

🧭 Recommendations: What Should L&D & HR Pros Do Differently?

Embed Lived Experience in Policy-Making: Actively seek and amplify the voices within your workforce who have walked the DEI journey; consult them when shaping strategy, not just when ticking boxes.
Prioritise Psychological Safety: Audit workplace culture for masking behaviours; invest in leadership coaching on psychological safety and allyship.
Design Systems for Intersectionality: Abandon one-size-fits-all approaches—offer flexible paths, mentoring, and affinity networks that allow employees to express and develop their full selves.
Rethink Development for Neurodiversity: Adjust training, evaluation, and work expectations to empower neurodivergent talent (e.g., autonomy, flexible deadlines, strength-based assignments).
Champion Family-Work Flexibility for All: Campaign for gender-neutral parental policies and normalise flexible work for all, not just mothers.
Nurture Networks: Support the building of authentic communities internally—peer support is crucial, not peripheral.

🎯 Summary Statement

This episode is a clarion call for leaders to move beyond performative inclusion, to interrogate their own assumptions, and to create systemic change. Listen, learn, and build bridges—the future of work demands nothing less.

#InclusionBites #DEILeadership #IntersectionalityInAction #NeurodiversityAtWork #BelongingMatters

Glossary of Terms and Phrases

## Less Common Concepts and Phrases Discussed in This Episode

1. **DEI/EDI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion / Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion)**
   - Refers to organisational frameworks and cultural approaches aimed at promoting fair treatment, belonging, and representational parity across diverse groups and identities within the workplace or society.

2. **Neurodiversity**
   - The acknowledgment and respect for the variety in human brain function and behavioural traits, especially regarding conditions such as ADHD, autism, and giftedness. The concept emphasises acceptance rather than pathologising neurological differences.

3. **Psychological Safety**
   - A workplace or community environment where individuals feel secure and supported to be themselves, voice concerns, make mistakes, and offer novel ideas without fear of negative consequences.

4. **Intersectionality**
   - The concept that various aspects of a person’s social and political identities (gender, race, neurodiversity, etc.) combine to create different modes of discrimination and privilege. Discussed in the context of understanding the multi-layered experiences Sonia faces.

5. **Masking (in Neurodiversity)**
   - The act of concealing or suppressing certain neurodivergent traits or behaviours in order to fit into societal or workplace norms, often leading to mental fatigue and diminished psychological wellbeing.

6. **Giftedness**
   - A term referring to individuals (often children) whose cognitive abilities, especially in areas such as logic or abstract thinking, are significantly above the norm. Here, the discussion blurs with neurodiversity, suggesting overlapping traits between giftedness and conditions like ADHD or autism.

7. **Village (as Metaphor for Support Network)**
   - Used metaphorically to describe the essential social support systems, both within and outside the workplace, that help an individual navigate challenges and thrive.

8. **Imposter Syndrome**
   - While not explicitly named in the transcript, the notion is implied in conversations about feeling inadequate or doubting one’s abilities, despite demonstrable success—particularly relevant for neurodivergent or underrepresented individuals.

9. **Employee Resource Groups (ERGs)**
   - Voluntary, employee-led groups within organisations, often focusing on shared identities or experiences (e.g., Women+, LGBTQ+, Neurodivergent employees), aimed at fostering inclusion, support, and advocacy.

10. **Hyperfocus**
    - A trait often experienced by neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with ADHD, referring to intense and sustained concentration on an interesting or challenging task, sometimes to the extent of neglecting basic needs or other responsibilities.

11. **Masking Fatigue**
    - The exhaustion resulting from prolonged social masking or trying to fit into expected norms, leading to decreased mental health or wellbeing.

12. **Life-Work Balance (vs. Work-Life Balance)**
    - A reframing of traditional notions about balancing professional and personal spheres, advocating for life priorities to come first, with work serving to support one's chosen life.

13. **Eating Disorders (in Context of Neurodiversity and Gender)**
    - The episode draws links between certain neurodivergent traits (impulsivity, rigidity) and prevalence of disordered eating patterns, noting gender as an intersectional factor.

14. **Inclusion Safety (a Tenet of Psychological Safety)**
    - Refers to the feeling that one belongs and is accepted for their authentic self within a group or organisation, foundational for overall psychological safety.

15. **Women+**
    - An inclusive term used to denote women and other underrepresented genders or non-binary individuals within support or advocacy groups.

16. **Lived Experience**
    - The unique, first-hand experiences and perspectives individuals bring, especially those from underrepresented or marginalised backgrounds, highlighted as sources of insight and leadership in inclusion work.

17. **Masking (again, but in the workplace context)**
    - In addition to its neurodivergent context, masking is discussed as altering one’s behaviour to adopt a less assertive or capable persona in order to be accepted in male-dominated professional environments.

These terms reflect a sophisticated and holistic conversation about inclusion, covering the nuanced intersections of gender, neurodiversity, cultural background, and the social architecture of the modern workplace.

SEO Optimised YouTube Content

Focus Keyword:
Building Bridges in a Biased World

Video Title:
Building Bridges in a Biased World: Positive People Experiences and Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast

Tags:
Building Bridges in a Biased World, Inclusion Bites, Culture Change, Positive People Experiences, neurodiversity, psychological safety, inclusive leadership, gender equality, STEM inclusion, women in engineering, Intersectionality, Diversity and Inclusion, DEI, workplace belonging, single parents, mental health at work, representation in STEM, creating inclusive cultures, women leaders, employee networks, breaking stereotypes, lived experience, support networks, unconscious bias, change management

Killer Quote:
"It's always about doing the right thing, being kind to other people, being respectful, always trying to learn different perspectives. Because in that way people start wanting to work with you. They start learning from you. They see the value in you. I think that's what got me where I was." – Sonia Perez

Hashtags:
#BuildingBridges, #BiasedWorld, #InclusionBites, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #CultureChange, #Neurodiversity, #PsychologicalSafety, #InclusiveLeadership, #WomenInSTEM, #Intersectionality, #DEI, #WorkplaceBelonging, #Diversity, #Leadership, #STEMCareers, #EmployeeNetworks, #Equality, #Belonging, #Changemakers, #SeeChangeHappen

Why Listen: Building Bridges in a Biased World

In this compelling episode of Inclusion Bites, we tackle the realities of “Building Bridges in a Biased World” as I sit down with Sonia Perez—an engineer, trailblazer, and passionate Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) champion based in the UK’s energy sector. This conversation is more than a dialogue—it’s an invitation to challenge assumptions, uncover the subtle mechanics of bias, and drive tangible culture change centred on positive people experiences.

So, why should you dedicate your time to this particular episode? Because it dives deep into much-needed subjects often glossed over in mainstream discussions—neurodiversity, psychological safety, the lived challenges of women in male-dominated fields, the invisible labour of parenthood, and the importance of culture change in fostering environments where everyone can truly thrive, not just fit in.

Sonia’s Story: From Engineer to Inclusion Champion

Sonia Perez didn’t start out looking to become a DEI advocate. Like many of us, her journey began in the “accidental” moments—becoming a mother, facing the challenge of balancing a demanding STEM career with parenthood, and navigating the discovery that both she and her daughter are neurodivergent. When Sonia speaks of turning lived experiences into inclusive leadership and action, she’s not referencing theory—she’s referencing her life. Her honesty about feeling the need to “play dumb” in male-dominated spaces or curb her own confidence to appease others lays bare the often-unspoken realities women face in STEM, particularly those from immigrant backgrounds.

Navigating Intersectionality: Identity, Neurodiversity and Psychological Safety

Intersectionality isn’t a buzzword here; it’s lived reality. Sonia articulates the subtle, ongoing pressures to conform—masking aspects of her neurodivergent identity, battling imposter syndrome, and carrying the weight of being both a single mother and a woman in a field still riddled with gender bias. She discusses the moment of personal reckoning upon her ADHD and giftedness diagnosis, emphasising the relief, the overwhelm, and ultimately the liberation that came with better understanding herself and her needs. For anyone curious about what true psychological safety means, Sonia’s vulnerabilities offer a living example—demonstrating why positive people experiences depend upon an environment where individuals aren’t forced to hide their authentic selves.

The Realities of Culture Change

Throughout the conversation, we expose the myth that culture change is linear or quick. Sonia’s insights reflect the persistent nature of change in organisations and across society, highlighting progress made and the barriers that stubbornly remain. Whether it’s challenging sexist jokes on oil rigs, advocating for more supportive women’s and neurodiversity networks, or simply striving to make space for different perspectives, Sonia recognises that real transformation isn’t about loud slogans. It’s about quiet persistence—listening, allyship, and holding spaces for others to grow and be seen.

Positive People Experiences: The Power of Networks and Belonging

A recurring theme is the importance of what Sonia calls her “village”—a trusted network of supporters providing affirmation, reality checks, and solidarity. Sonia’s advice to her daughter entering the world of work is relevant to us all: build your village, seek out those who champion your growth, and take up space. That village, she argues, becomes a buffer against the bias and headwinds you’re bound to face, particularly for underrepresented groups.

Eating Disorders, Mental Health, and Wellbeing in Context

Sonia bravely opens up about the lifelong dance between neurodiversity and mental health, particularly how patterns of binge eating and restrictive behaviours can be rooted in attempts to fit in or assert control. These candid truths build upon the episode’s commitment to erasing stigma and fostering honest dialogue. Ultimately, both Sonia and I reflect on the journey towards self-acceptance and the tools we use—both at home and work—to foster resilience and wellbeing.

Actionable Insights for Culture Change and Inclusion

Listeners can expect actionable strategies threaded throughout the episode—whether you’re an HR leader, a line manager, or someone seeking solidarity for your own DEI journey. Key themes include:

Recognising and Unlearning Bias: How to spot hidden biases and challenge assumptions at personal and organisational levels.
Advocacy and Allyship: Practical strategies for building supportive networks and advocating for marginalised voices in the workplace.
Redefining Leadership: Exploring the power of inclusive leadership grounded in authenticity, transparency, and embracing difference.
Promoting Psychological Safety: Real tips to cultivate workplaces where everyone feels safe to express their identity and ideas.
Prioritising Positive People Experiences: Placing wellbeing, cognitive diversity, and genuine relationships at the centre of culture change.

This episode is not just for those who want incremental change but for those seeking to spark genuine transformation, making workplaces sites of true belonging.

Closing Summary and Call to Action

After listening to “Building Bridges in a Biased World,” the case for driving culture change to create more positive people experiences has never been clearer. Here are the key learning points and actionable insights you can take forward:

1. Acknowledge the Diversity of Lived Experience

Culture change starts with appreciating that each journey into DEI is unique. Sonia’s narrative shows that identity is multifaceted—intersecting gender, neurodiversity, parenthood, and background.
Step beyond tick-boxes; instead, create space for stories, not stereotypes, in your workplace.

2. Build and Nurture Networks (“Your Village”)

Proactively seek out allies and networks—for yourself and others. Support groups, ERGs, and informal circles are powerful catalysts for change.
As Sonia notes, “There’s always a village who will tell you, even in the times where you don’t believe in yourself, that you are really good just the way you are.”

3. Promote Psychological Safety

Recognise when colleagues are masking or hiding parts of themselves to fit in. Encourage open conversations about difference—whether neurodivergence, cultural background, or family status.
Adopt the four tenets of psychological safety: inclusion safety, learner safety, contributor safety, and challenger safety.

4. Challenge Stereotypes and Systemic Bias

Be vigilant against microaggressions, exclusionary language, and tired jokes—sometimes disguised as workplace banter.
Challenge these calmly and persistently, both in yourself and others.

5. Prioritise Positive People Experiences

Positive people experiences go beyond one-off workshops; they require ongoing effort—celebrating differences, learning from setbacks, and encouraging self-advocacy.
Managers and leaders should champion flexible working, neurodiversity accommodations, and mentoring schemes.

6. Own Your Narrative

Sonia’s journey from hidden neurodiversity to self-acceptance is a reminder: when you truly appreciate your uniqueness (and others’), you foster genuine belonging.
Encourage colleagues to bring their authentic selves to work, and model that openness yourself.

7. Act on Mental Health and Wellbeing

Understand that mental health and identity are deeply intertwined, especially for those who feel perpetually “othered.”
Invest in mental health awareness initiatives, anonymous support, and inclusive wellbeing policies.

8. Foster Intergenerational and Inclusive Growth

Recognise that change isn’t limited by age or stage. Support staff through life transitions and celebrate a variety of career and personal milestones.
Acknowledge that everyone’s “right time” for leadership, self-development, or family life will differ.

9. Redefine Metrics of Success

Culture change is gradual—don’t lose heart if progress is slow. Improvements in “talking about things we didn’t before” are milestones worth celebrating.
Focus on qualitative progress alongside quantitative targets.

10. Make Inclusion Everyone’s Responsibility

DEI is not the remit of HR only. Each individual plays a role in shaping culture, supporting colleagues, and modelling positive behaviours.

Next Steps:

Reflect on your own biases and adopt a growth mindset.
Build your “village” and support others in constructing theirs.
Advocate for psychological safety and culture change in your sphere of influence.
Share this episode with colleagues, start a conversation about your own workplace culture, and check in with someone who may need extra support.

Let’s collectively create culture change—making real, positive people experiences not just an aspiration but a daily reality.

Outro

Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast—your home for deep, transformative conversations on inclusion, belonging, and culture change. If you found value in this episode, please like and subscribe to our channel so you never miss a moment that matters.

Want to learn more or get involved in the discussion? Visit SEE Change Happen at https://seechangehappen.co.uk and explore more episodes of Inclusion Bites at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.

Let’s keep building bridges for positive people experiences, one bold conversation at a time.

Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood

Root Cause Analyst - Why!

Certainly. As a Root Cause Analyst, I’ll methodically examine the key problems raised in this episode of Inclusion Bites: “Building Bridges in a Biased World,” with guest Sonia Perez. I’ll focus on one prominent problem that threads through the narrative: Women, particularly those with neurodiversity, still face systemic barriers and feel the need to mask their true selves in male-dominated sectors like engineering and STEM. Let’s apply the ‘5 Whys’ technique to dig deeper.

Key Problem:
Women, especially neurodivergent women, feel compelled to mask their authentic selves and conform to prevailing workplace norms, particularly in STEM environments.

Why 1: Why do women feel the need to mask their true selves in these environments?
Because the prevailing cultural and organisational norms still reward conformity to a narrow standard—typically masculine—of behaviour, confidence, and communication. As Sonia describes, assertiveness in women is too often met with defensiveness or accusations of arrogance, unlike in male colleagues.

Why 2: Why do these masculine-centric organisational norms persist?
Because the structures of STEM industries were historically established by, and for, men. These patterns have been legitimised and reinforced over generations, shaping what is considered ‘normal’ or ‘successful’ behaviour—even subconsciously rewarding those who fit the mould.

Why 3: Why has there not been sufficient disruption to these outdated norms, despite increased awareness of diversity and inclusion?
Because change initiatives, though well-intentioned, often remain superficial or run parallel to core business processes. Many organisations implement diversity training or employee resource groups (ERGs), but these sit alongside core practices rather than driving holistic, cultural transformation.

Why 4: Why do change initiatives remain peripheral instead of transformative?
Because senior leadership may lack personal incentives, understanding, or the lived experience necessary to recognise the urgency and value of deeper inclusion. There is risk aversion, a fear of loss of control, or simple inertia. Consequently, D&I can be seen as a ‘nice to have’ or “bolt-on” rather than integral to business success.

Why 5: Why is there a lack of understanding or incentive at the leadership level?
Because leaders typically rise through systems that reward traditional behaviours and rarely confront the obstacles faced by underrepresented groups. Without direct experience, data-driven analysis, or challenge from below, the need for fundamental change is not internalised or prioritised.

Summary of Findings (Root Cause):

The persistent need for masking among neurodivergent women in STEM stems ultimately from a leadership and organisational culture that fails to recognise, value, and dismantle entrenched norms. These norms, inherited from a historically homogeneous workforce, perpetuate a system in which non-conformity is penalised—consciously or otherwise. This results in ongoing identity suppression, mental health strains, and hindered progression for anyone who does not naturally align with established expectations.

Potential Solutions:

Transform Leadership Accountability:
- Integrate inclusive leadership into core business KPIs and appraisal systems.
- Provide immersive leadership experiences (reverse mentoring, shadowing underrepresented staff) to build first-hand understanding.
Embed Lived Experience in Policy and Practice:
- Co-design workplace policies, progression criteria, and behaviours with neurodivergent and minority staff—moving beyond consultation to co-creation.
- Regularly audit the real impact of DEI programmes rather than focusing on surface metrics.
Normalise and Celebrate Difference:
- Create psychologically safe spaces where atypical working styles, communication, and thinking are visible and valued rather than hidden.
- Publicly showcase diverse role models within the organisation, highlighting their authentic routes to success.
Institute Systemic Flexibility:
- Redesign career pathways and performance measurements to appreciate varied work patterns, communication, and leadership styles, minimising the ‘one size fits all’ mentality.
Equip the Village—Support Networks:
- Support ERGs and mentorship networks with real authority and resource, empowering them to influence both policy and practice, as advocated by Sonia’s experience.

In essence:
True inclusion requires systemic change, led from the top, shaped by those with lived experience, and embedded in every aspect of the organisation. Only then can the need to ‘mask’ give way to an environment where the full diversity of talent is both welcomed and unleashed.

Canva Slider Checklist

Slide Type	Content
Opening Slide	Creating inclusive workplaces relies on leaders embracing neurodiversity, psychological safety, and authentic belonging. This 5-point checklist highlights the essential practices for fostering cultures where everyone’s potential is respected and empowered—especially in male-dominated sectors and environments steeped in traditional bias.
Content Slide 1	Recognise and Value Lived Experience: Embrace individuals’ unique backgrounds, including neurodiversity and intersections such as parenthood, gender, and cultural identity. Integrate these perspectives into leadership approaches and decision-making processes to cultivate truly representative and empathetic environments.
Content Slide 2	Nurture Supportive Networks: Encourage the creation of ‘villages’—empowering support groups and resource networks where employees can access peer encouragement, mentorship, and psychological safety. Strong internal communities drive confidence, resilience, and broader inclusion for underrepresented colleagues.
Content Slide 3	Combat ‘Masking’ and Foster Authenticity: Reduce the pressure for individuals to cover, code-switch, or ‘dumb down’ their talents to fit in. Leaders must normalise vulnerability, acknowledge differences, and empower staff to bring their whole selves to work without fear of negative consequences.
Content Slide 4	Prioritise Psychological Safety: Create a climate where questioning, challenging norms, and honest conversations are welcomed. Psychological safety is foundational for learning, innovation, and tackling systemic barriers—ensure regular signalling from leadership that diverse contributions are sought and valued.
Content Slide 5	Model Holistic Inclusion in Policies and Practice: Review hiring, progression, wellbeing, and parental leave policies to remove structural disadvantages. Promote visible actions—such as supporting flexible career paths and involvement in employee resource groups—to continually improve equity for women, neurodivergent, and minority staff.
Closing Slide	Drive meaningful change: Connect with Joanne Lockwood and SEE Change Happen for practical strategies to create truly inclusive cultures. Visit https://seechangehappen.co.uk and let’s empower every individual to thrive. Ready to ignite your inclusion journey? Reach out and take action—your transformation starts here.

6 major topics

Building Bridges in a Biased World: Six Major Inclusion Topics Unpacked

Meta Description: Join Joanne Lockwood as she delves into building bridges in a biased world, exploring neurodiversity, inclusive leadership, gendered experiences in STEM, psychological safety, eating disorders, and work-life balance, all with actionable insights and stories to ignite change.

In my recent conversation with Sonia Perez, a passionate advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion in engineering, we set out to get under the skin of what it means to build bridges in a biased world. Our exchange traversed both personal and organisational realms—a veritable journey through identity, belonging, and the living, breathing challenges and triumphs of making workplaces more inclusive. Whether you’re just setting off on your inclusion journey or searching for new perspectives, I invite you to join me as we explore key facets which shape our understanding and action. Ready to challenge your assumptions?

1. Neurodiversity: Unmasking Hidden Strengths

When Sonia spoke about her accidental journey into the world of neurodiversity, I was struck by how universal her experiences felt yet how rarely they’re voiced. Neurodiversity—our primary keyword for this discussion—runs as a rich seam through her narrative, starting from the discovery of her daughter’s traits and, in turn, unveiling her own. There’s an intriguing interplay here: the sense of relief in finally putting a name to lifelong masking, contrasted sharply with the grief over missed self-understanding.

We unpacked the stereotypes: isn’t it curious how neurodivergence in women, particularly ADHD and giftedness, often goes undiagnosed and misunderstood? Sonia’s lived experience demonstrates that recognition is not about acquiring a label, but rather about stepping into wholeness, reclaiming one’s cognitive energy, and changing the narrative at work and home. How many others around us might be masking daily, simply because the script didn’t allow for their version of brilliance?

2. Navigating Gender Bias in STEM

Reflecting on Sonia’s career as an engineer, our conversation shed light on the entrenched gender dynamics of the STEM sector. Sonia recounted her early years, often being the only woman in the room, and the nuanced need to “play dumb” to fit into male-dominated spaces without triggering defensiveness. This is bias in action—a world still bristling with stereotypes and low expectations for women.

It raised pointed questions: How much potential is held back by the forced need to fit in? Does the act of self-minimisation ultimately perpetuate exclusion, or is it a necessary armour until the culture shifts? I saw plainly through Sonia’s story that progress is painfully slow, yet the mere act of sharing these experiences chips away at the walls.

3. The Power of Inclusive Leadership and Building a ‘Village’

One theme that we returned to throughout our conversation was Sonia’s belief in building a supportive ‘village’, or network, as a cornerstone of inclusive leadership. It’s crucial to amplify this: real inclusion is not created by policies alone, but by nurturing relationships that see, value, and reflect the entirety of one’s identity.

Is it possible to succeed without allies? Sonia’s advice to her daughter—that thriving depends on surrounding oneself with champions—rings true for us all. The curiosity here lies in how networks act as both lifeboats and launchpads, enabling those who feel on the margins to not only survive but flourish and lead by example.

4. Psychological Safety: From Masking to Belonging

Psychological safety formed the heartbeat of our more vulnerable dialogue. We explored the cognitive toll of constant masking—the never-ending task of self-editing in order to be palatable to others. As we reflected, inclusion safety is about more than just surface-level diversity; it’s about granting permission to be one’s authentic self, unfiltered.

Are workplaces truly ready for the kind of honesty that emerges when masking ceases? Sonia’s newfound resistance to covering her neurodivergence is, in itself, a radical act—a challenge to the status quo that invites others to reconsider their own masks. The process is emotional, sometimes overwhelming, but also deeply liberating.

5. Mental Health and Eating Disorders: The Hidden Cost of Conformity

Sonia’s openness regarding her struggles with eating disorders and mental health added a needed dimension to the conversation—one too often left unspoken in professional contexts. There’s an unsettling link between neurodiversity, gender, and disordered eating, arising from both internalised expectations and the longing to belong.

What if our pursuit of fitting in is itself a risk factor for poor mental health? Curiosity lingers here: how might greater openness about these intersections transform not just individual wellbeing, but collective culture—the silent battles made a little less lonely by sharing?

6. The Evolving Work-Life Balance and the Myth of ‘Having It All’

Rounding out our exchange, Sonia and I mused on modern notions of work-life balance. Particularly moving was her assertion that “you can have everything, just not everything at the same time.” This prompted broader reflections on societal progress—how expectations for women (and indeed, men) are shifting, yet structural barriers remain.

Does genuine choice exist for most families, or are we still locked in persistent, gendered trade-offs? Can workplaces truly support the developing identities of their employees—be they parents, carers, or creative souls—without falling back into the myth of the universal ‘ideal worker’? This remains a space rife with both challenge and opportunity, ripe for those bold enough to disrupt old patterns.

Towards Real Inclusion: Bridge-Building in Every Conversation

As I draw these threads together, I’m reminded that building bridges in a biased world isn’t an abstract ideal—it’s realised, every day, in honest conversations like these. True neurodiversity awareness, tackling gender bias, fostering psychological safety, and supporting wellbeing all require more than policies—they demand that we show up, listen, challenge, and remain ever curious.

So I challenge you—where might your own assumptions benefit from a fresh perspective? How will you help build more inclusive spaces, be it at work, at home, or within your community? Let’s keep igniting inclusion, one genuine dialogue at a time. For more bold inclusion stories and practical insights, keep listening at Inclusion Bites.

Primary Keyword: neurodiversity
Related terms: inclusion, unconscious bias, gender stereotypes, psychological safety, work-life balance, support networks

Slogans and Image Prompts

Absolutely! Here are memorable slogans, soundbites, and quotes from the episode “Building Bridges in a Biased World” which would look fantastic on mugs, t-shirts, stickers, or as hashtags. Each includes a tailored AI image generation prompt to help inspire eye-catching, relevant merchandise designs.

1. “Build Your Village”

Hashtags: #BuildYourVillage #SupportNetworks
Image Prompt:
A warm, stylised illustration of diverse hands joining together to form an abstract ‘village’ shape; bright tones conveying community, support, and inclusion. Diverse gender, age, and neurodivergent representation, with subtle hints of engineering (e.g., gear outlines) and energy (lightning/renewable motifs) to echo Sonia’s background.

2. “Take Your Space”

Hashtags: #TakeYourSpace #InclusionMatters
Image Prompt:
A confident woman outlined in energetic brush strokes standing centre stage, surrounded by gentle, flowing patterns suggesting growth and belonging. Shadowy figures in the background, but the central figure radiates light and presence. A faint bridge motif links her to the wider context, symbolising connection.

3. “You Don’t Have to Know Everything—Just Build Your Team”

Hashtags: #TeamStrength #InclusiveLeadership
Image Prompt:
Cartoon-style engineer at a desk, blueprint in hand, surrounded by friendly colleagues of various backgrounds and abilities. The group is portrayed assembling puzzle pieces to form a cohesive whole, conveying the power of collaboration and diverse strengths.

4. “Foster Psychological Safety: Be Yourself. Mask Off.”

Hashtags: #PsychologicalSafety #MaskOff
Image Prompt:
Half of a face with a stylised mask gently removed, revealing a vibrant, colourful true self beneath. The background is soft and inviting, featuring subtle bridge and cogwheel elements to evoke both the personal journey and the STEM context.

5. “Make Waves. Don’t Minimise.”

Hashtags: #MakeWaves #NoMoreMinimising
Image Prompt:
A stylised ocean with bold waves crashing, each wave composed of illustrated speech bubbles with inclusive words (“Voice,” “Change,” “Equity,” “Respect”). A lone figure rides a surfboard, exuding confidence and empowerment.

6. “Inclusion Bites: One Episode at a Time”

Hashtags: #InclusionBites #IgniteInclusion
Image Prompt:
A playful, graphic logo-style image of a bite mark on a biscuit or headphone, with sound waves radiating out. Modern fonts capture energy, and the words are boldly centred. The colour palette gives a nod to both warmth and diversity.

7. “You Can Have Everything—Just Not All At Once”

Hashtags: #PaceYourDreams #RealTalk
Image Prompt:
A spiralling path of stepping stones, each labelled with life’s stages or choices (family, career, self-care), with a serene figure pausing and reflecting partway. Pastel, gentle colours, and subtle sunrays breaking through clouds to represent hope and patience.

8. “Challenge the Status Quo—Ignite Inclusion”

Hashtags: #IgniteInclusion #DisruptNorms
Image Prompt:
A dynamic hand holding a lit match, the flame morphing into bright, diverse faces and ideas; background features stylised, broken chains and paperclips to indicate challenging old norms. Use bold reds, oranges, and inclusive, joyful faces.

9. “Don’t Cover. Uncover. Thrive.”

Hashtags: #UncoverThrive #Authenticity
Image Prompt:
A patchwork quilt being unfurled, revealing vivid, multicoloured patterns beneath a monochrome exterior. Symbolic items relating to engineering, family, and neurodiversity peek from under the quilt, celebrating authenticity and multilayered identity.

10. “Middle Grounds Don’t Exist in My Head"

Hashtags: #AllOrNothing #Neurodiversity
Image Prompt:
Stylised brain split into vibrant geometric shapes on one side, and subtle monochrome on the other, with a diagonal lightning flash through the middle. Background of tiny, scattered gears and stars to reflect constant motion and focus.

These phrases not only capture the episode's spirit, but also champion inclusion, resilience, and authenticity—making them ideal for merchandise or virality on social media.

YouTube Description

Opening Hook:
Are you ready to challenge your own perceptions about inclusion and realise the hidden barriers in our daily lives? Discover how lived experience and embracing neurodiversity can truly transform organisations and societies for the better.

Description:
Welcome to Episode 169 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast – "Building Bridges in a Biased World". Host Joanne Lockwood sits down with Sonia Perez, an engineer and DEI champion from the energy sector, for an honest and compelling exploration of inclusion, intersectionality, and psychological safety in the workplace. This episode goes beneath the surface, exposing uncomfortable truths about how cultural stereotypes, gendered roles, and neurodiversity are navigated within STEM industries and beyond.

Key Insights:

Learn how Sonia’s journey as a neurodivergent single mother in a male-dominated industry shaped her passion for actionable inclusion.
Understand why “playing dumb” is a survival strategy for many women in STEM, and the societal implications of such masking.
Examine the power of constructing your village—networks and allies—in overcoming ingrained bias and fostering true belonging.
Reflect on the intersection of mental health, identity, career progression, and family, with Sonia’s candid insights on resilience and authenticity.
Hear first-hand why real psychological safety means dropping the mask and why we must push for environments where everyone can thrive without compromise.

Takeaways & Actions:

Build and nurture your own ‘village’—seek allies who value and support your authentic self.
Question workplace norms and challenge expectations that limit your or others’ potential.
Embrace neurodiversity and champion psychological safety, recognising the mental toll of masking and the power of authenticity.
Share your story, foster inclusive networks, and actively participate in creating environments where diversity is not just accepted but celebrated.
Get involved: Reach out, share your narrative, or join the Inclusion Bites community to influence the journey toward inclusion.

After listening, expect to think deeper about your role—will you disrupt the status quo or reinforce it? You may feel inspired to take action, more mindful of inclusion’s complexity, and empowered to advocate for change in your own sphere.

Subscribe, leave a comment, and become a part of the #InclusionBites movement.

Listen to the episode and join the conversation at:
https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen

Contact Joanne:
jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk

#InclusionBites #Neurodiversity #PsychologicalSafety #WomenInSTEM #Belonging #Intersectionality #InclusiveLeadership #DEI #BreakTheBias #ChangeTheNarrative

10 Question Quiz

Quiz: Building Bridges in a Biased World — Insights from Joanne Lockwood, Host of The Inclusion Bites Podcast

Joanne describes the core focus of the Inclusion Bites Podcast as:
- A. Superficial networking and light entertainment
- B. Deep exploration into inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation
- C. Trends in technology and innovation
- D. Traditional business management discussions
According to Joanne, what is a key contributor to sparking change in the world of inclusion?
- A. Avoiding controversial topics
- B. Sharing lived experiences and stories that resonate
- C. Relying solely on legislation
- D. Individual achievement without community support
On the topic of navigating male-dominated sectors, how does Joanne characterise the burden placed on women or underrepresented individuals in STEM?
- A. It is largely a myth
- B. It is necessary for them to hide or minimise aspects of themselves to succeed
- C. Everyone is always treated equally
- D. The burden is on others to adapt
Joanne states that psychological safety, especially its inclusion aspect, requires:
- A. Strict adherence to policies over personal well-being
- B. Being able to be oneself without masking one’s identity
- C. High productivity at the expense of individuality
- D. Prioritising business goals above all
In the discussion about career and parenthood, Joanne acknowledges that:
- A. Society is fully equal in expectations for all parents
- B. Traditionally, women had to choose between career and motherhood, whilst men were expected to work
- C. Women find it easier to balance both without conflict
- D. Men never make sacrifices for family life
Joanne mentions what helps individuals advance and thrive in male-dominated industries?
- A. Aggressively asserting dominance at all times
- B. Building supportive networks or “villages” for mutual aid
- C. Relying only on technical skills
- D. Severing ties with colleagues for independence
Joanne reflects on the evolution of inclusion progress by stating:
- A. Nothing has changed since her youth
- B. There has been a significant positive shift as more topics are now openly discussed (e.g., neurodiversity, gender identity)
- C. The world has become more regressive
- D. Only surface level topics are allowed
Regarding her own approach to life and work in later years, Joanne believes it is crucial to:
- A. Prioritise work above everything else, forever
- B. Seek a “life, work balance”, prioritising life and family
- C. Never take breaks or holidays
- D. Ignore family for the sake of career progress
Joanne’s hosting philosophy on Inclusion Bites can best be described as:
- A. Avoidant and non-confrontational
- B. Disruptive, challenging norms through bold and meaningful conversations
- C. Compliant with the status quo
- D. Reserved and impersonal
When discussing intersectionality and identity, Joanne notes:
- A. One’s identity is only defined by the most visible trait
- B. Intersectionality means understanding the complexity and uniqueness of each person’s lived experience without reducing them to labels
- C. People are only interested in work-related skills
- D. It is counterproductive to discuss identity

Answer Key and Rationale

B — Joanne repeatedly asserts the show is about deep, transformative exploration into inclusion, belonging, and societal change, not surface chatter.
B — She highlights the power of stories and lived experience in creating change and challenging the status quo.
B — Joanne identifies the need for women and others in STEM to hide or minimise their true selves, a central tension in the discussion.
B — Joanne links psychological safety to allowing people to truly be themselves, without masking their identity.
B — She references traditional gendered expectations that force women to choose and men to sacrifice family for work.
B — Joanne and Sonia both agree supportive networks (“villages”) are crucial, not just individual prowess.
B — She notes clear progress in discussing formerly taboo subjects, showing evolving openness and inclusion.
B — Joanne describes valuing a “life, work balance”, emphasising life and family especially in later years.
B — Her approach is deliberately challenging, aiming to disrupt and provoke meaningful dialogue about inclusion.
B — Joanne advocates for seeing intersectionality as the richness of a person’s multidimensional identity, not mere labels.

Summary Paragraph

Joanne Lockwood's hosting on “Building Bridges in a Biased World” centres on breaking through superficial discussions to foster deep exploration into inclusion, belonging, and societal change. She demonstrates that personal stories and lived experiences are vital in sparking genuine progress. A key theme from the episode is the persistent burden for women and marginalised individuals in STEM to mask their identities, contrasting with an ideal of psychological safety where everyone can be authentic. Joanne underscores the historical expectation for women to choose between career and motherhood, while men are typically required to put work above family. However, she reveals that building supportive networks is essential for success, and she celebrates the positive evolution as more complex issues like neurodiversity and gender identity are now openly discussed. In advocating for a “life, work balance”, Joanne promotes a shift in priorities towards life and family, aligning with her podcast's bold, disruptive ethos. She consistently frames intersectionality as the appreciation of everyone’s unique and multifaceted identity, firmly resisting reductive labelling.

Maxims to live by…

Maxims for Building Bridges in a Biased World

Lean into Your Lived Experience
Embrace your personal journey—both challenges and triumphs—as a foundation for empathy, leadership, and meaningful transformation.
Build Your Village
Surround yourself with a supportive network. Cherish those who lift you up, remind you of your worth, and encourage authentic self-expression, especially in times of doubt.
Value Psychological Safety
Champion spaces where everyone feels secure to be themselves, recognising this as essential for genuine inclusion and innovation.
Take Up Space
Do not diminish yourself for the comfort of others. Assert your right to participate, question, and grow on your own terms.
Adapt, But Never Disappear
While learning to navigate environments with ingrained biases, resist the pressure to mask or dilute your identity. Authenticity outlasts conformity.
Challenge Stereotypes—Gently or Boldly
Use curiosity and questioning to challenge assumptions and stereotypes, especially where direct confrontation is met with resistance.
Value Diverse Perspectives
Seek out and appreciate differing viewpoints; collective wisdom arises from varied backgrounds, cultures, and experiences.
Champion Intersectionality
Acknowledge the complexity of identity—gender, neurodiversity, nationality, and beyond. Understand that no one attribute defines you or your worth.
Turn Vulnerability into Strength
Share your challenges, whether around mental health, neurodiversity, or personal struggles, as this creates space for others to do the same, fostering collective resilience.
Cultivate Empathy and Kindness
Approach situations and individuals with respect and a willingness to learn. Empathy is the bedrock of belonging.
Recognise Progress, Pursue More
Celebrate the advances made in inclusion, but remain vigilant; acknowledge that lasting change is generational and demands ongoing effort.
Balance is Dynamic, Not Static
Accept that you may not be able to have everything at once—careers, family, personal pursuits—but life offers space for all in its seasons.
Refuse Unhelpful Comparisons
Trust in your own journey. Avoid measuring yourself against narrow standards or societal timelines.
Normalise Learning and Unlearning
Be open to personal growth. Allow yourself to relearn what you know about ability, belonging, and identity—both for yourself and others.
Lead with Action and Compassion
Let your advocacy for diversity, equity, and inclusion be both intentional and proactive. Small acts, done consistently, effect meaningful change.
Question the Status Quo
Dare to disrupt norms. Progress is born from those willing to challenge the way things have always been.
Honour Rest and Achievement Equally
Recognise the value in both striving for goals and nurturing well-being; one supports the other.
Champion the Next Generation
Prepare future generations with encouragement, guidance, and by modelling courage, so they may face a more inclusive world than the one you inherited.
Find Joy in the Journey
Do not let prescribed paths or external expectations define your happiness. Seek fulfilment in your unique story.
Share Your Voice—and Listen to Others
Participation is key: speak up, but also create space for voices less heard. Inclusion is as much about listening as it is about leading.

Extended YouTube Description

YouTube Video Description: Building Bridges in a Biased World – Inclusion Bites Podcast Ep. 169

Join us for an eye-opening episode of Inclusion Bites, hosted by Joanne Lockwood, where we dive into “Building Bridges in a Biased World.” This candid conversation with Sonia Perez—engineer, leader, and passionate DEI advocate—delivers meaningful insights into intersectionality, belonging, and advancing neurodivergence and psychological safety in today’s workplaces.

Timestamps for Easy Navigation:
00:00 – Introduction to Inclusion Bites & Episode Overview
01:14 – Meet Sonia Perez: Engineering, Leadership & DEI Advocacy
03:00 – Lived Experience, Neurodiversity & Single Motherhood
06:35 – Navigating Male-Dominated STEM Environments
08:39 – The Art of Authenticity & Workplace Survival Strategies
11:04 – Advice for the Next Generation: Building Your ‘Village’
13:05 – The Psychological Safety Paradigm
16:11 – Neurodiversity: Diagnosis, Parenting, and Self-Awareness
23:25 – Motivation, Hyperfocus & Managing Strengths
24:32 – Creating Support Networks: ERGs & Diverse Communities
25:19 – Societal Progress in Inclusion & Equity
26:27 – Mental Health, Eating Disorders & Identity
34:08 – Navigating Stereotypes & Labels
35:09 – Life as an Engineer: Onshore, Offshore & Quality Assurance
39:36 – The Motherhood–Career Balance: Modern Perspectives
44:05 – Gendered Roles: Evolving Family Dynamics
48:01 – Rethinking Life Priorities: Work, Balance & Happiness
50:43 – Connect with Sonia Perez (LinkedIn)

Unlocking Inclusion: Key Takeaways & Value for You

Keywords: diversity and inclusion, psychological safety, neurodiversity, intersectionality, women in STEM, inclusive leadership, workplace belonging, equity, employee resource groups, mental health, work-life balance, gender roles, breaking bias, Inclusion Bites Podcast

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Intersectionality in Action: Sonia Perez shares her journey from engineering to diversity championing, exploring how motherhood, neurodivergence, and cultural background shaped her DEI advocacy.
Navigating Male-Dominated Workspaces: Practical strategies on thriving as a woman and neurodivergent professional in STEM, including authentic leadership, navigating bias, and useful ‘soft power’ tactics.
Building Your ‘Village’: The importance of developing support networks at work and beyond, ensuring psychological and inclusion safety.
Mental Health & Well-being: Honest discussion of how neurodiversity and societal pressures intersect with mental health, and tactics for managing identity, imposter syndrome, and life’s competing demands.
Actionable Insights: Guidance for professionals and leaders aiming to create more equitable, psychologically safe, and inclusive environments—both for themselves and future generations.

This episode is invaluable for HR professionals, DEI leaders, STEM practitioners, educators, and anyone passionate about nurturing positive people experiences and breaking down traditional barriers.

Ready to Build a More Inclusive Future?

Subscribe for more transformative conversations with leading thinkers on diversity, equity, and inclusion
Visit our website: SEE Change Happen for deeper insights and free inclusion resources
Share this episode with your network to amplify inclusive change
Comment below: What resonated most with you about Sonia’s story? How are you building your ‘village’ in the workplace?

Connect with Sonia Perez: Reach out on LinkedIn – Sonia Perez
Contact the host: Joanne Lockwood – jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk

#InclusionBites #DiversityAndInclusion #WomenInSTEM #Neurodiversity #Leadership #WorkplaceBelonging #Intersectionality #PsychologicalSafety #MentalHealthAwareness #DEI #EquityInTheWorkplace

Substack Post

Building Bridges in a Biased World: Navigating Inclusion and Authenticity in STEM

How often have you encountered a moment where you felt compelled to hide part of yourself in the workplace, simply to blend in or succeed? For many—especially those from underrepresented groups—this is an all-too-familiar reality. As we strive to foster truly inclusive spaces, the struggle to be wholly seen and wholly accepted often remains unspoken, simmering beneath the surface of our organisational cultures.

This week on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, I’m inviting you to join a conversation that digs deep into these realities. In episode 169, Building Bridges in a Biased World, I sit down with Sonia Perez, an engineer, leader, and passionate advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) within the energy sector. Sonia’s journey reveals not only the hidden landscape of bias but also the transformative power of embracing lived experience as the pathway to inclusive leadership and actionable change.

When Inclusion Meets Reality: The Heart of This Episode

Sonia’s story is as compelling as it is insightful. As a Spanish-born engineer working in the UK’s energy sector, she’s navigated both overt and subtle biases—from the expected male-dominated environments of STEM to those awkward “fitting in” moments familiar to many of us. Sonia brings an especially nuanced perspective as a neurodivergent woman and single mother, learning to shape her professional identity whilst confronting the challenges—and strengths—of ADHD, giftedness, and the social assumptions that come with them.

Together, Sonia and I examine intersectionality—not just as theory, but as a lived, daily experience—delving into topics ranging from masking and authenticity to psychological safety and the complexities of balancing leadership, career ambition, and parenthood. Whether you're an HR professional, a D&I champion, or leading Talent and Learning & Development, this episode surfaces the kinds of workplace dilemmas and solutions you’re likely grappling with right now.

Highlights from Sonia Perez: Voices from the Edge

What I find most striking about my conversation with Sonia is her candour about the cost of “playing the game.” She describes the way women, especially in STEM, are often pressured to “play dumb” or appease colleagues to succeed—masking true capability to avoid being dismissed as abrasive or arrogant. Sonia’s lived experience shines a light on how neurodivergent traits, underdiagnosed in women, entangle with societal and workplace expectations; her story evolves from accidental DEI champion to intentional advocate, all while bringing up a neurodivergent daughter in an ever-changing professional world.

With refreshing honesty, Sonia also touches on the emotional labour of always striving to meet others’ expectations—the “cognitive load” of masking one’s differences and the journey towards removing that mask. Her reminder that success is rarely a solo pursuit—“build your village”—rings especially true for anyone committed to inclusion, both for themselves and those they lead.

Lessons for the Modern Workplace: Action Points to Take Forward

Here are some of the most resonant takeaways I hope you’ll carry into your own organisations:

Jump Off the Hamster Wheel of ‘Fitting In’
- True inclusion means freedom from self-censorship. If people must “dumb down,” mask neurodiversity, or laugh off exclusionary jokes just to get by, we’re perpetuating cultures of conformity, not belonging. HR and leaders must challenge these unwritten rules—creating safe spaces where authenticity is valued over thinly veiled sameness.
Build (and Be) the Village
- Networks matter. Sonia’s story underscores the importance of cultivating a village—a support system of mentors, allies, and peers who champion you genuinely. The lesson is twofold: foster these networks for yourself, and commit to being that village for others in your sphere of influence.
Spot the Cognitive Load—and Lighten It
- Masking is mentally exhausting. Whether due to neurodivergence, gender, or cultural difference, the mental toll of hiding one’s true self stifles creativity and lowers psychological safety. Simple policy change isn’t enough: leaders must develop “inclusion safety” in practice, normalising vulnerability and making space for authentic voice.
Interrogate ‘Success’—Embrace Seasonality
- Sonia’s observations about career, parenting, and expectations remind us that no one can “have it all”—at least not all at once. Both men and women absorb societal scripts about ambition and sacrifice; meaningful equity means interrogating these scripts, supporting flexible choices, and valuing multiple definitions of success.
Name and Challenge Stereotypes (Including Our Own)
- Microaggressions—however subtle, whether jokes about nationality or assumptions based on gender—are a warning bell. Challenge such behaviour openly, and remember that an inclusive culture is a living commitment, not a box ticked.

Step Inside the Conversation

Curious to hear Sonia’s perspective in her own words? I’ve picked a particularly thought-provoking moment from the episode—watch the one-minute audiogram below for a glimpse into the heart of our discussion. You’ll hear Sonia reflect on “playing dumb” and the essential role of psychological safety in breaking cycles of conformity.

Watch the audiogram for a flavour of what awaits in the full episode.

Want to Hear More? Join the Dialogue

To immerse yourself in the full conversation and access even more firsthand insights from Sonia, be sure to listen to the complete episode here: https://url.seech.uk/ibs169

I encourage you to share this episode with your colleagues, offline networks, and anyone navigating questions of identity, belonging, or equity—especially those in traditionally underrepresented sectors. It’s only in sharing and discussing these honest accounts that we plant the seeds of change.

What Bridges Will You Build?

So, here’s a question I’m leaving you with: If the path to inclusion lies in dismantling old biases and truly seeing one another, what step can you take this week to challenge conformity—or build your own “village” of support? How might you make your workplace—just a little more—a sanctuary where everyone belongs, and truly thrives?

Thank you for your continued dedication to creating cultures where no one is forced to hide in plain sight.

Until next time,

Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen

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Let’s keep the spark of inclusion alive—one conversation, one small bridge, at a time.

1st Person Narrative Content

Building Bridges in a Biased World: My Reflections on Challenging the Invisible Barriers

“You can have everything—just not everything at the same time.”

That line, shared during a recent conversation, captured the tension that has defined so much of my journey: the constant striving to excel, to lead, to belong, and to carve space for myself across dimensions that the traditional world of work still struggles to understand. If there’s one thing engineering and advocacy for inclusion have taught me, it’s this: The strongest bridges are built not in isolation, but through candid dialogue—especially in a biased world that still has blind spots the size of oil rigs.

I recently had the opportunity to unpack this truth with Joanne Lockwood on her Inclusion Bites Podcast. Our dialogue was a mosaic of lived experience—mine as a woman, an immigrant, a neurodivergent mother and leader in the energy sector; hers as a renowned advocate for authentic inclusion and societal transformation.

Why share this story now? Because after years spent navigating the labyrinth of STEM and leadership as a single mother with a late-discovered neurodivergence, I've found that power comes from converting experience to action—and from nurturing the “villages” that support us. Many of the barriers I faced were invisible, but their effects were all too real. The good news? They can be named, challenged, and—collectively—dismantled.

If you’re wrestling with similar tensions, questioning what it actually means to belong or thrive at work, I invite you to join me as I walk you through this conversation. Spoiler: The answers aren’t tidy. But they are human, honest, and more urgent than ever.

About Inclusion Bites and Joanne Lockwood

The Inclusion Bites Podcast stands apart in a crowded field. Hosted by Joanne Lockwood—herself a pioneer in championing inclusion, belonging, and equity—this series is a mainstay for bold, actionable conversations. Joanne brings a rare blend of lived wisdom and executive rigour, having scaled both business and impact as the founder of SEE Change Happen. If you care about moving beyond lip-service on EDI (Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion) and want real tools for disruption, this is the room to be in.

More than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.

Engineering Identity and the Power of Intersectionality

Looking back, my route into diversity, equity, and inclusion was anything but planned. It was, ironically, the kind of “off-specification” journey an engineer isn’t supposed to take. Years deep in mechanical engineering—often the only woman, and later, the only single mother, in the room—I’d compartmentalised my professional, personal, and cultural identities with the clinical precision my field demanded. But life has a way of rerouting us.

Motherhood was a pivotal event. Suddenly, the lines that had kept “work” and “life” in check dissolved. My daughter’s early childhood raised the first flags of neurodivergence—a mirror I initially resisted, then began to recognise in myself. The real kicker was learning, well into adulthood, that not only did she process the world differently, but so did I. As Joanne prompted me, “How has your own lived experience, your identity, the intersectionality of it all, shaped your leadership?”

The honesty: Everything changed. Engineering had taught me to value rigour, but lived experience forced me to value the messy complexity of human difference. I became attuned to the biases that lurk in “the way we do things here”—whether it’s the expectation that women should “dumb down” to minimise male defensiveness, or the subtle xenophobia lurking behind “go back home” remarks.

While my background as a Spanish immigrant didn’t always manifest as overt disadvantage, the jokes (“lazy, siesta-loving Spaniard”) and name-blindness meant I was never fully “of” the culture I worked in. What surprised me was how often people preferred to see differences as decorative—appreciating my “tan,” but glossing over my accent or heritage as inconsequential. That duality—visible yet invisible difference—crystallised the key lesson: Bias doesn’t require malice; it often hides behind banality.

Adapting to a Male-Dominated STEM World

From day one in the engineering sector, the gender imbalance was obvious—even if its effects took time to surface. “I’ve always been either the only woman in the room or one of the very few,” I reflected to Joanne. At first, I tried to assimilate, adopting the behaviours of my male colleagues, laughing along with sexist jokes. Only in hindsight did I see how inauthentic that was. The mental toll of “masking”—modulating my personality, my intelligence, my leadership style to suit men’s expectations—was invisible but profound.

Joanne captured it perfectly: “You’re appeasing people to ensure success, not creating waves. You have to hide who you are—intelligent, capable—by dumbing it down.” That wasn’t hyperbole. I learnt to phrase challenges as questions (“I might be wrong, but…”) rather than direct assertions, knowing that assertive women are quickly labelled arrogant. I watched male colleagues get away with confidence I could only perform in whispers.

How did I still advance? Two things: my competence, and the support of a “village”—peers and allies, both women and men, who recognised what I brought to the table and made it possible for me to thrive, even if I had to pick my moments. It was only with their backing that I could stop performing and start leading authentically. Still, success felt fragile—too often contingent on being in the right room at the right time with the right people.

What advice would I give my daughter as she starts her own journey? Build her village early, find those who celebrate her difference, and never let systemic bias become internalised. “There will always be those who want to see you fail, for reasons that have nothing to do with you personally,” I told Joanne. “But there will also always be a network cheering for you. Lean into that.”

Navigating Neurodiversity and Unmasking

Nothing prepared me for the discovery that much of my life had been experienced through a lens of undiagnosed neurodivergence. When my daughter displayed “behavioural outliers” as a toddler, I began seeking answers; what started as a search for her turned into an exploration of myself. Eventually, adult diagnosis confirmed I was both ADHD and “gifted”—labels that are poorly understood, especially in women, and that bring both strengths and distinct hurdles.

As I shared with Joanne, the most overwhelming revelation wasn’t the diagnosis itself, but the retrospective clarity it provided. Suddenly, my entire career—my oscillations between hyperfocus and boredom, my impatience with illogical authority, my empathy-driven leadership—made sense. Yet the costs of years spent “masking” were laid bare. I’d learnt to assimilate so well I no longer recognised where I ended and the performance began.

Joanne understood this well: “It’s a huge cognitive load, isn’t it? Fitting into other people’s expectations all the time, masking who you are.” The emotional relief of recognising myself—in all my difference—was immense, but so too was the grief for lost time, lost potential. Only now am I learning to unmask more freely, with the support of friends, family, and a few enlightened colleagues.

For those who see themselves in these words, let me say: there is power in understanding how your brain works, and there is no substitute for the psychological safety that comes when you are truly seen. My advice to leaders? Make it safe for the mask to slip.

The Messy Intersection of Mental Health, Gender, and Expectation

One theme that demands more daylight is the fraught relationship between gender, neurodiversity, and mental health. The industry likes to talk about “role models” and “resilience,” but rarely about the everyday realities underpinning leadership in a biased system. For me, food and body image were battlegrounds as much as boardrooms. I’ve grappled with eating disorders—never diagnosed, but ever-present—a coping mechanism fuelled by the intersection of perfectionism, emotional isolation, and the desire to fit in.

The statistics bear this out: neurodivergent women are significantly more likely to develop unhealthy relationships with food, whether it’s restrictive rigidity or compulsive bingeing. I see it now in the way I “hyperfocus” even on my own habits, or the way impulsivity shapes my choices. Joanne recognised the link: “If I see a buffet, I don’t have a stop button. I rely on someone else to fill my plate.” There’s solace in naming these patterns—and in the recognition that they are symptoms of a broader system that fails, still, to understand how women’s minds and bodies process stress, difference, and expectation.

Yet what is often omitted from public discourse is the sense of persistent, gnawing isolation that comes from never quite fitting. Even in the close embrace of family and friends, that fundamental sense of “belongingness” can feel elusive. For me, learning to manage these waves—with professional help, with community, with relentless self-education—has been as central to leadership as any technical skill.

From Professional Achievement to Personal Fulfilment

For years, like many women in high-pressure sectors, I internalised a linear script: education, achievement, family, more achievement—happiness will follow. Over time, I’ve come to see the error in that thinking. Professional ambitions do not always align neatly with personal fulfilment; sometimes, they exist in outright tension.

Motherhood brought this reality into sharp relief. For a time, I worked onshore and offshore; led teams; wrote technical papers; managed risk in the high-stakes world of oil and gas. Becoming a single parent recalibrated everything. The traditional model—men choose work, women choose family—never matched my aspirations, nor, I suspect, those of most men or women in my network. Still, the structures remain. Parental leave policies lag behind cultural shifts. Invisible expectations still assign women the majority of domestic labour, even as we lead in the boardroom.

As I shared with Joanne, “We are all sacrificing something. Men often sacrifice family time. Women, career. You can have everything—just not at the same time. Life is long. There are seasons. There will be more chapters.”

Perhaps the most profound realisation has been the importance of nurturing identities—and passions—that exist outside work or family. For me, creative writing has become both a refuge and a point of pride. With two and a half novels penned and two master’s degrees—one in engineering, one in creative writing—I’ve learnt that a well-lived life is rarely tidy, linear, or singular. My writing may never be published, but it is essential. It’s how I process, make sense, and sometimes, heal.

The Role of “Villages”: Community, Networks, and the Path Forward

Looking back, I attribute much of my resilience and advancement to the intentional cultivation of “villages”—networks built within and beyond the workplace. These have included women’s groups, neurodiversity resource networks, and broader industry organisations. Not every room has been welcoming, but the right platforms have offered safety, support, and—crucially—space to challenge convention.

Joanne’s summation was apt: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.” I’d add: If you’re the only person in the room who looks, sounds, or thinks like you, build the next room. Sometimes the most radical act of leadership is convening the spaces others claim are unnecessary.

So, are we making progress? Incrementally, yes. The very existence of conversations like this—public, unapologetic, deeply personal—is evidence of change stirring. Twenty years ago, terms like “neurodiversity” and “psychological safety” weren’t even in the workplace vernacular. Today, more people than ever are refusing to defer their authenticity for comfort or advancement.

Still, the work is unfinished. Systems lag behind stories. Progress is uneven—dependent on geography, industry, and the presence of a critical mass willing to speak and listen.

A Final Thought: Claiming Space in a Biased World

If there’s a lesson I hope endures, it’s that belonging isn’t gifted by benevolent systems—it’s built through struggle, laughter, vulnerability, and relentless truth-telling. The strongest bridges are constructed from the stories we dare to share, not from blueprints or best practice documents. We lead not by impersonating the gatekeepers, but by demonstrating the value of every facet of our lived experience.

“You are really good just the way you are.” That’s what I tell my daughter, and what I wish someone had told me far earlier—a reminder that “taking space” is itself a revolutionary act in organisations built on conformity.

Am I done building bridges? Not by any stretch. Every day presents new biases to navigate, new “villages” to nurture, new identities to claim. But what I know now is that I am not alone, and neither are you.

If this resonates, if it provokes or comforts or irritates, then let’s keep talking. Share your reflections below. These are the conversations that ignite inclusion—and, bit by bit, change the world we are all trying to build.

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Building Bridges in a Biased World

Don't have time for the full episode?

Highlights

How it unfolded

Full transcript

More from this recording

Pain Points & Challenges Highlighted

Content Focused on Addressing These Issues

1. Cultivating Psychological Safety in Teams

2. Challenging Systemic Bias and Stereotypes

3. Rethinking Work Models for Inclusion

4. Better Neurodiversity Support

5. Addressing Mental Health Proactively

6. Building and Strengthening Networks (‘Villages’)

7. Managing Motivation and Preventing Burnout

Rhetorical Considerations

The Problem: Hidden Biases and the Cost of Masking

Beyond Identity: The Complexity of Intersectionality

Pathways to Change: Actionable Takeaways

1. Build Your Village

2. Rethink Leadership and Value Difference

3. Challenge, Don't Conform

4. Support through Life’s Ebbs and Flows

The Bridge Ahead: Our Shared Responsibility

1. Masking, Neurodiversity & Psychological Safety

2. Intersectionality at Work: Navigating Multiple Identities

3. Challenging Gender Norms in STEM & Male-Dominated Sectors

4. Neurodivergent Flourishing: From Diagnosis to Empowerment

5. Breaking the Silence: Mental Health, Eating Disorders & Professional Success

6. Career, Parenthood & Self-Actualisation: Redefining Success

7. Building Your Village: Networks, ERGs, and Real Allyship

✨ Key Takeaways & “Aha Moments” from Inclusion Bites: Building Bridges in a Biased World

1. The Power of Lived Experience in Leadership

2. Intersectionality: Beyond Single Narratives

3. Masking and the Hidden Cost of ‘Fitting In’

4. Networking as a Survival and Thriving Strategy

5. The Challenge for Women (and Men) in Work-Life Balance

6. Neurodiversity Spotlight: Reframing Strengths and Needs

🧭 Recommendations: What Should L&D & HR Pros Do Differently?

🎯 Summary Statement

Why Listen: Building Bridges in a Biased World

Closing Summary and Call to Action

Outro

1. “Build Your Village”

2. “Take Your Space”

3. “You Don’t Have to Know Everything—Just Build Your Team”

4. “Foster Psychological Safety: Be Yourself. Mask Off.”

5. “Make Waves. Don’t Minimise.”

6. “Inclusion Bites: One Episode at a Time”

7. “You Can Have Everything—Just Not All At Once”

8. “Challenge the Status Quo—Ignite Inclusion”

9. “Don’t Cover. Uncover. Thrive.”

10. “Middle Grounds Don’t Exist in My Head"

Answer Key and Rationale

Summary Paragraph

Key Learning & Takeaway

Point #1: Turning Lived Experience into Inclusive Leadership

Point #2: The Power and Necessity of “Your Village”

Point #3: The Unseen Burden of Masking Identity

Point #4: Progress in Inclusion is Real—But Not Linear

Building Bridges in a Biased World: Navigating Inclusion and Authenticity in STEM

When Inclusion Meets Reality: The Heart of This Episode

Highlights from Sonia Perez: Voices from the Edge

Lessons for the Modern Workplace: Action Points to Take Forward

Step Inside the Conversation

Want to Hear More? Join the Dialogue

What Bridges Will You Build?

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