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Fear as a Superpower
The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Fear as a Superpower
JL
Speaker
Joanne Lockwood
DG
Speaker
Dr. Gwen Patrone
Dr. Gwen Petrone, former US Marine and coach, reveals how she transforms fear into strength by seeing it in slow motion. She shares insights from her military and personal journey, offering a unique perspective on resilience, self-belief, and mastering fear as a powerful tool for growth and clarity.
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Highlights
“Creating a World Where Everyone Thrives: "Remember, everyone not only belongs, but thrives.”
“Sparking Change Through Inclusion: "Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo and share storeys that resonate deep within.”
“The way I feel is I'm in a shower and the water comes over me and this is emotion, right? The water comes over me and I feel it leave my body and it's like, it's like all the emotion rinses off and I go calm, relax, and I feel nothing, right? So I get very unemotional and I get very analytical.”
“The way I feel is I'm in a shower and the water comes over me and this is emotion, right? The water comes over me and I feel it leave my body and it's like, it's like all the emotion rinses off and I go calm, relax, and I feel nothing, right?”
“The Hidden Loneliness of Being Trans "They have so many people around them, but they're so lonely. And that's why I said, I count my blessing because I have my family and my wife and, and so on, and then I have that blessing in that area to be able to have that. But that, that loneliness is a big thing to try to overcome internal loneliness, you know?”
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Welcome to Inclusion Bites, your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change. I'm Joanne Lockwood, your guide on this journey of exploration into the heart of inclusion, belonging and societal transformation. Ever wondered what it truly takes to create a world? Remember, everyone not only belongs, but thrives. You're not alone. Join me as we uncover the unseen, challenge the status quo and share stories that resonate deep within. Ready to dive in? Whether you're sipping your morning coffee or winding down after a long day, let's connect, reflect and inspire action together. Don't forget, you can be part of the conversation too. Reach out to Jo.Lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your insights or to join me on the show.
So adjust your earbuds and settle in. It's time to ignite the spark of inclusion with Inclusion Bites.
And today is episode 210 with the title Fear as a Superpower. And I have the absolute honour and Privilege to welcome Dr. Gwen Patrone. Gwen is a former US Marine sergeant, author and coach who supports gender diverse people to transform fear, anxiety and dysphoria into strengths that shape resilience and self belief. When I asked Gwen to describe her superpower, she said it is her ability to see fear in slow motion. I love that. And repurpose it from something that debilitates into something that creates strength, clarity and growth. Hello, Gwen, welcome to the show.
Hey, Jo, good to see you. Good. I'll say good morning here in Florida and hi everybody.
Still good morning here in the uk. So we're both the same side of the midday at the moment for another 10 minutes. So Florida, the Sunshine State, is it, is it sunny there today?
It is currently sun coming up, so it'll be sunny soon. Thank goodness. It's so cold out right now. Cold is all relative. So our whole country is going through a big deep freeze over the last week. But in Florida, you know, it warms up a little bit, so. So I love it. I used to be in New York City.
So all the, the winter and the cold and the snow and the northeast kind of stuff, I got over that after so many years. I just said, I'm getting out of here, I'm going down south, I want to be warmer. Oh, 35 years in New York. I moved to Florida about five years ago.
Yeah, because I remember being in New York in, in the November time. I think it was just after Thanksgiving one year and I was surprised how bitterly cold it was. You know, the, the wind that whistles through the skyscrapers, the just the temperature and considering was it New York is south of Paris. It's, it's, it's quite a way south even from the uk. It's a lot colder than I was expecting.
Well, what happens is you have. New York is very vertical, right?
Yes.
So if you get the wind in just the right angle, it' just shoot down the corridors of the streets, whether it's the avenues or the streets, and it'll pick up speed and just focus. Right. It's a big wind tunnel in certain areas. So yeah, I used to like to walk around Central park, which is really very beautiful and many, many times. And you get that, you get that wind because it's over there. There's no building. So it'll, it'll just pick up speed and get a nice breeze. So.
Yeah, I mean, it's like the Pogue song, isn't it? Fairytale in New York at Christmas time. It's a very magical city at Christmas with all the lights in the trees.
And the, it's, it's Christmas time and. Thanks. Living time is beautiful. Except about an hour after it snows, then it gets dirty. Yes, it gets dirty real quick when it's snowing and, or icing or whatever. It looks really, really, really beautiful. And then you have Rockefeller Center with a tree and, and all the lights and all the, the shopping and it's, it's a magical time.
But as you say, you're in Florida now. And my memory of Florida was back in, I think it's 2004, when I, I took our family for a standard Disney experience, Universal Studios. I remember my biggest memory of the time was the humidity was the first thing that really struck me. But also the lightning, the thunder and lightning, the fork lightning, the power of that nature that was going on overhead.
But you must have gone in July or August or something.
It was, it's probably July time. Yeah.
That's brutal. Yeah, June, July, August is not fun over here. But all the other months are great.
Yes.
I have a twin sister and she would go and have her family there and her daughter and she was the grandma so she had to watch all the kids. And so she was designated to do that. She says not doing that anymore. Not doing that anymore. No more. I'm the babysitter and it's humid and her and I, we don't get moist, we sweat. So it's just, it's just like, you know. So she says, no more in August, no more in July.
Grandma, don't do it. Us Brits, we perspire. Yeah. We perspire, we don't sweat.
Yes, right. Profusely, yes.
So as I was reading out your superpower and I comment on the bit, seeing fear in slow motion, and that conjures up this vision in my head of that scene in the Matrix where Neo has finally grasped who he is, what the Matrix is all about. And he's now able to now cut through all of that kind of social construct and the. When, when was it Mr. Anderson fires a bullet at him, he's able to see it in slow motion as the ball holds it and stops and able to freeze time. Is that the metaphor that you know, that that creates for you as well?
Yeah, it, it's, it doesn't. Normally you don't have something like that. It's. And this is really cultivated when I went into service and I was in the Marine Corps, is they, they. And that's what my, my book Dysforia Hacks is really honing in on, is the lessons learned from that and then how you can desensitise yourself to certain things. So this way you don't do what it's expecting you to do. And then you can freeze time and slow it down. So this way you can see things that would normally scare other people or frighten other people and remould it to your purpose and thus use it as a positive.
And thus I say see things in slow motion. And that comes very handy in sports. I was always very good in sports. Muscles. Soccer, baseball, football, everything. Everybody's freaking out and running, really. And I would see things in slow motion. I'd like looking and I'm scanning and making decisions when other people are freaking out.
And then they're like, how did you do that? And. Well, because you have a. You calm down and your mind is calmer. And then the business, business arena. As a CEO of my own company for a few decades, people freaking out and everything, and you're seeing things come. You don't want to get too high or too low and you want to make rational decisions based on overall the common good of the company, so to speak. And so that's what I mean is seeing things in slow. The slow motion is you learn, analyse the situation, see what's really happening and then you understand what's happening to be able to repurpose it to your.
Your purposes. Yeah.
So being a Marine sergeant, do you see active duty?
Yeah, well, I, I was in. During a time that it was like right in between different things that were happening. So I didn't see action, but I was in a technical field, so in, in cryptographic electronics. So I jokingly say if I told you exactly what I did, I'd have to kill you. So I don't want to do that. But yeah, it was, I was, I did electronics on cryptographic machines that were coding and decoding and sending messages and all that kind of stuff. So I was, I was in a bunker, you know, or a, you know, four foot metal bunker where people couldn't get in. And when they trained us on all that stuff, we, they wouldn't let us take notes or anything, you know, because they didn't want anything getting out.
So we would learn and then it would have to leave everything there and then, then we can go out and back to our, our place where we were staying. So it was pretty secretive.
So were you utilising this equipment or were you supporting, maintaining and designing it?
I was supporting and maintaining it, yeah. Yeah, I made sure it worked if something went wrong, that I was able to go in and do electronic stuff to be able to fix it and. Yeah.
Sort out circuit boards and recalibrate and. My background's electronics. I was in the Royal Air Force in the UK as a electronics engineer working on radars and radio and airborne stuff.
Well, it was funny that we, we were working on, we were using. On older machines that were using tubes and things like that and they never wanted to really get rid of it because it worked, it worked really well. And, and some of the electronics in today's age, they can hack and so on and that type of thing. They really couldn't do that. So they kept them around for whatever purposes. So if something would break or, you know, a tube would, would burn out or something, I have to be able to research that where's it coming from, where's it going and be able to try to scope out and get that part that may not be readily available, that type of thing. Yeah, it's very interesting.
Those analogue error. Not susceptible to electromagnetic pulses and the like, are they? They're very resilient.
Exactly. So it came in handy for whatever purposes they wanted it for. So usually it was setting coded messages and, you know, whatever secretive things they did. And I really didn't get into that stuff. I just had to make it work.
Yeah, I remember my time with it recognising that some of the voltages on that valve technology is 3,000 volts or something, or 3 kilovolts on the anode. And you think that burns if you touch it?
Yeah, it's like clear.
It is. And the capacitors are holding massive charges, aren't they? You've got to be careful you're not electrocute yourself off a capacitor. So, you know, sorry, we're diving off into the wrong direction. So coming back to being able to use this as a resilience, as a strength and slowing down so that you can really observe what's going on without your chimp brain or your amygdala kicking in, you want to bring this into your prefrontal cortex where you really kind of understand what's going on. How did you, how did you. Was that the military that taught you that or was that a kind of a life, life lesson you learned as you, as you grew?
It's funny you mentioned that because it's, it's, I would say the military magnified that. But I had that type of personality where in any kind of stressful situation, the best way I can explain it, and it comes in handy for certain situations and it's a pain in the ass for other situations if something stressful would happen. The way I feel is I'm in a shower and the water comes over me and this is emotion, right? The water comes over me and I feel it leave my body and it's like, it's like all the emotion rinses off and I go calm, relax, and I feel nothing, right? So I get very unemotional and I get very analytical. So it's like I have a entrepreneurial business brain and I have an artistic brain. Shocker. So I kind of have both. And I've learned more now to turn it on and turn it off. But back then it was, it was just happening.
And in the, in the Marines, it allowed me to focus in on that. And I, later on in life, when I wrote my book and fine tuned it a little bit more, was, I call it domesticating fear. So it's. We talked about earlier dogs, right? You domesticate the dog where you try to get out the instinct of the dog. So this way it doesn't just run for the car or it doesn't just do something and you, you kind of get that out. And that takes systematic and long term training to be able to do that. And then you also do that to fear. You can systematically get what you don't want in you, out of you, and more control it.
It'll always be there, but you control it. So this way it's not a master of you, you become a master of it and then you can repurpose it to your advantage. So, and I say many Times in dysphoria with people, trans people such as myself, is. It's a pressure that builds up in you and through whatever your trigger points are, whether it's misgendering or it's a situation or it's whatever. When I first started dressing female, it was a pressure that I feel and I had to let it out. I just had to let it out. And that was the dysphoria inside of me getting like that. And now it's.
I call it in my book, I call it the pressure valve situation. The pressure valve technique, where it's like a plumber. You have to let the steam out. So you have to have a valve to let the steam out. Otherwise it builds, it builds, it builds. And then you hurt yourself or you hurt other people, right? Because you. And you explode, right? And you don't want to explode. You got to let.
You got to let it out, and you got to let it out in the right situation. So this way the pressure goes down. And then I would dress female, I would feel so much better. And now it's like the pressure was gone. So people can use that in certain situations. And that was one of the reasons why I really wanted to write that book, was I wanted to help people. And that there's so many people who commit suicide that hurt themselves or hurt other people. And if I could just save some lives.
Lives. Or have them get control of that issue that they're going through, then it just makes it all worthwhile. While for me to be able to do that. The same thing with veterans. Veterans. As many as 6,000 veterans a year in the United States commit suicide. I was shocked that the number was so high. And because they can't deal with the PTSD and all the other pressures.
So that's another project I'm working on, is to be able to help them. How do you deal with that? And using those techniques to deal with that as well too, to allow them to diffuse that and to be able to calm and make better decisions.
Most. Most humans, in my understanding, have a fear of the unknown, the fear of next. That's the biggest debilitator, isn't it? This unfounded fear. This. And people are worried about, anxious about being humiliated, being rejected, being all these things. And you know, as you. As you put it there, one of the big challenges of people who have gender dysphoria, gender diverse or not, does. Don't conform to the stereotypical version of what's expected, have this fear of unwrapping themselves, taking the cover off and showing the world who they are.
And it could be really insurmountable that. That barrier to doing that.
Oh, it's, It's. It's a ve. You know, it's. I don't want to diminish it because it's a big barrier, but once you cross it, you're like, oh, that wasn't that bad.
Is that. It was like, paper thin.
Yeah, it's like paper. I was like, is that it? But there's the barrier. Once you break through, I call it the terror barrier. And whatever your terror barrier is, once you break through that, you're like, oh, I feel so much better. But then there's another terror barrier, and it never goes away. It's always there. You're just expanding your comfort zone. You're domesticating that fear, and you're domesticated further and further and further.
So one of the techniques that you do in the military is you do it. You keep on doing something so that this way you desensitise yourself to it and you run. You can run toward the fear instead of a waste. Whatever scares you and whatever happens to be, if you can do it little by little. And so one of the things that I do all the time is like, okay, have I done this before? Does this really scare me? I want to do it because it's going to allow me to expand. So then if I. If I'm in another situation, then I'm like, wow, if I. If I did that, I could do that.
And that's. That's what we call the stoic philosophy, too. Stoicism, if you've ever followed that. Well, the. The philosophy of stoicism is do as much of what scares you. So this way, when something else happens, you're like, if I did that, I could do that. So. So these, all these techniques are universal, and we just kind of put them together to allow people to get a handle on it.
Yeah, but it boils down to it is what are you scared of? Is it rejection? Is it this? Is it the other?
And what other people think? That's a big one.
I think from my experience and personal experience and the people I've met and known before, is that. Actually, one of my friends said this to me. He said, you can't have your cake and eat it. You have to make a decision. If that's what you want, that's what you want. You can't have a foot in every camp and hedge your bets. At some point, you have to decide because the people around you want to know who you are as well. Because if you're not careful, what you end up being is indeterminate.
And people need, in our human society, they need to understand who people are. They want to put you in a box somehow.
And people appreciate that. They want you to be authentic, right? Yeah, they want you to be authentic. And right now the Internet is so, I mean, AI is really cool, but after a while I'm like, I feel duped. I feel duped. Like, like, oh, that's an AI picture. I thought it was really cool at the beginning. And then after a while I'm like, you know, I feel like I'm being tricked a little bit, and I want authenticity and just, just let it out. Just, just be you.
And I'd rather see that and all the bumps in the warts and all of that kind of thing. I'd rather see that than, than have something look perfect. But it's all fake, right?
Yeah, I'm with you on that. I, I, I didn't transition about 12, 13 years ago, if you want to put a mark on it. And in those days, there was less Facetune and editing, and Photoshop skills were, were not as advanced. I mean, today I see people who have forensically or AI altered their photos and their images. Be yourself. Be yourself. Because otherwise, when you go out in the real world, when you go and meet people, I have to come out each time. Whereas if you're just publicly you all the time, there's never, there's no two versions.
And I remember thinking to myself, I didn't want a gender transition to become somebody else. I wanted to come gender transition to become myself and one version and not have 15 versions of me, just have one version. So if I'm massaging how you see me online, I'm, I'm faking it again. I spent 40, 50 years faking it. I don't do that anymore.
Yeah, and so many people, they see like a little bitty clip of somebody and they think that's their whole life. It's really not. But I went on a, I like cruises. So I went on a cruise just a week or two ago, and a lot of business people, and we joint venture together and talk to people, and I talked to someone, two or three people, and I had one of those aha moments because I, you know, I never hated being a guy. I enjoyed being a guy, but I really, really enjoyed being female. So for me, it was more of a fluid type of thing. And for many people, they felt like myself, they felt like there were a female in A male body, and they just gotta get out. And that's fine, because everybody's different.
I felt more of a yin and yang, where the Most. The first 60 years of my life, the male side was more dominant. And then after that, the female side became more dominant because that's. I fed into that and I rediscovered Read and I. And over those years, I was pushing my male side away because I wanted to be Gwen and have her bloom. And he says, listen, you can be even more powerful, stronger, better, a better person if you embrace the positive sides of your male Persona into your female Persona, and you become that much better. So you can become a unicorn. You're.
You're blooming as a female, as close to female as you can be. And. But you're also taking the attributes of the. Of your male self that you like, like, and now you become even more than you could separate. And I was like, wow, okay, that makes a lot of sense to me. And so, because I was trying to escape my. My life as a guy and said, I want to be female, and I'm just trying to get into this. This life and change.
Change my name and do the female stuff that. Everything we do. And I said, well, you know, I did, like, some stuff as a guy, and I. I did have some very strong, strong things that I did as Peter. And then I can bring that over to be female. And so many people can use that one. Story I'll tell you is that I saw an interview of an Olympic downhill skier, and he was pretty good. And he said, listen, I'm gay.
And he never told anybody. And he said that limited me because, like you said, he was hiding from everybody. And see what he was straddling two worlds. So you're almost like, separating yourself and, like, you're saying being authentic and being yourself. And he said, once I told everybody, it released that burden from him, and it became so much better because he didn't have that weight on him all the time. And such as people like ourselves or anybody that wants to be authentic, be yourself. People appreciate that. And yes, you're gonna shed some people that don't want that, but you're gonna gain so many more people that appreciate that.
Yeah, I think we said it earlier that people like authenticity. They like to know who you are. Our social constructs work better that way. And also, you yourself have one voice in your head. One identity, one thing. Okay, we wear different hats in different situations, but I spent much of my life with two conflicting halves of my head trying to have different conversations. One of the things I found when I aligned was my head became really, really quiet and one, one voice, one thought, one me. Whereas in the past I've always had these two elements.
And that was the biggest notice to me. The silence I had in my head was incredible. And the clarity that I had allowed me to go, whoa. This is my Matrix moment when I go, whoa. I see the world clearly now. I'm not trying to double think everything. I'm not trying to go, oh, should I say that? How am I thinking that? What am I doing now? I'm just me. And it's incredibly powerful.
And you don't have to gender transition to do that. You just got to find yourself.
But you have the male and a female and one's more dominant and the other one becomes more dominant. But then you're. You have the most separate. Put it like that, and you merge them together and then it's like, it's like it becomes in focus. Like you said, the Matrix happens, right? And you can see clearly, oh, this is what's really happening. You could do that and combine them. At least I combine them. So many people want to totally separate, which is fine.
And that's for other people's. Hey, whatever, Whatever floats your boat.
If you're gender fluid, you have no fixed sense of gender, then it may well be that those elements of your identity never mix. They stay disparate potions. And you're able to bring them in and out of focus as you need to. And if you can exist that way, that's absolutely wonderful. I just found that it would just bend in my mind. I was losing it. And have you seen that Disney Pixar film Inside Out? We've got the little characters in the girl's head. And that really was the metaphor of what I was feeling.
The little angry character, the little angry red character was driving my head for most of my life. And then suddenly Joy took over and I went, this is me. Joy is now driving my brain. Everything is orientated around the joy. The female character, if you like, not the little angry red man. Okay, the little angry red man. All anxiety and fear, all those other things still in my head. But Joy is the driver.
It's a feminine Persona. And that kind of really, really struck me when I was watching that film.
That's so true. And I never thought about it. But there's some people around me here, they know me and they've seen me as a guy and they've seen me as Gwen and they've seen the years of evolution that I've had. And they said, you know, as a guy, we like you, but you're very reserved and you're quiet and you don't. But as Gwen, you're like. You're almost like you, like you. And I said, the only way I can explain it is as a guy, I see things in black and white because I'm reserved. As a woman, I see things in colour.
I just bloom and my personality comes out more. I'm more bubbly, I'm more interactive with people. It's just like I release. Everything's released and I become more authentically of who that I feel that I am. And then I pick a few things that I like as a guy and I stick it in there, you know, use it as I see fit and then to enhance, so to speak.
Yeah. The other thing I figured out back in those early stages, about 10, 15 years ago, was trying to define who I was again. I think for so many years, I tried to aspire to a stereotypical view of femininity, or probably one that I'd held in my head since my teens. And then I realised that I was chasing this ideal that the world wasn't really embracing. And I realised most women I knew were running the other way as I was running that way. And I thought, hang on a minute. I need to park myself here for a minute and actually figure out who I am, not figure out my. The stereotype.
And that really helped. I. I started acting my age. I was 53 at the time. I thought, hang on a minute. I'm not 19 anymore. I don't have to do this, I don't have to do that. I can be.
I can wear jeans, I can wear slacks and trainers, and I can, I can not bother putting my bra on one day if I don't want to. You know, I can be like every other woman out there. And when I realised I didn't have to live by rules that I'd invented in my head, again, it simplified that vision for me. Just, just to go, it must be me.
Did you. Have you. Did you know your entire life, or was it something that more. You realised later on in life?
We're, we're not too dissimilar in age. And, you know, you look back in the early 70s, there was no, no language to describe it, but no something there.
Yeah, I, I, when I was 12, 13, 14, 15, I would look at a. Because I'm very heterosexual, so I would look at a woman, I'd be like, she's gorgeous. I want to do her, you know, hormones, right? Then I look at her, I'm like, I wonder what it's like to be her. Wow. I wonder what it's like to be pretty. And I would find it fascinating to flip the script and to put myself in that situation. And I did that for a number of years. And nobody's home, and I'm putting on female clothes.
And I was looking for that. I was searching for that feeling. But in the 70s, nobody to talk to, no Internet, no way to find out anything. And I. I'm like, okay. I feel alone. And so then I told you my personality happened was that I compartmentized it. And I just shut it off and I.
I forgot for 45 years. Didn't remember. And when I was 59, my wife at the time, we. We're still married 35 years, and she says, we're gonna go out for Halloween. I'm like, okay. She says, I'm dress you female. And I'm like, why? Because I didn't remember. And.
And that's after the Marines, right? I. I didn't remember. I'm like, why? Then she dressed me female. And I'm like, I was really nervous. I had such a great time of like, wow. Why did it. Because I coach people too. I'm like, wow, what did I have a good, great time.
And as a coach, a mentor teaches what they know. And a coach pulls things out of you that's already there, and they ask questions. So I'm asking questions of myself and I'm peeling the onion. I'm like. And after about an hour, I'm like, oh, my God, I forgot. I forgot. I used to do that. And so that lit the fire again and re-germinated Gwen, that was already, like, she was sleeping.
She was there, but sleeping. And so fast forward. Then little by little, and now that Gwen started to overtake the male side. And then after a number of years, I'm like, you know, I'd rather. I really want to be female full time. And then I just took the next. I went over the red line, so to speak, versus just cross dressing, and the rest is history. So I feel.
I feel me, the new me. So that's kind of how I see it.
Yeah, I don't think I was ever sleeping or away, but I was able to function in the other direction as a male Persona for 30, 40 years. Have family, have kids, get house. Stoicism, that drive to provide that expectations. And then in my 40s, I guess with the advent of knowledge and familiarity and understanding and meeting other People I realised that my storey was in there and it needs to be told. And I was lucky. My wife was and still is supportive and we've been married for 38 and a bit years, 40 plus years together, a couple of kids. So yeah, I've been very fortunate that I've able to move on in my life with the love and support of people around me.
Yeah, me too. We've been married 35 years together and I count my blessings that she said, listen, I know you, I love you, I know you, we're going to die together. And that you are you and you evolve. But this is a presentation of how I feel inside. And she's okay with that.
That's beautiful.
I appreciate, I appreciate many, many people, they don't get that luxury and people just feel like adios and they're gone. I, I write a lot on Facebook, like really long stuff because I like to write. I wrote one piece that says, it just says the word of the day is lonely and because when I go out and if I meet other trans people or gender non conforming people, I talk to them because I'm trying to get information and for maybe ideas for writing stuff and they're like, they're stunningly beautiful and they're like, listen, I, I can get sex anytime I want because many, many people, they want the fantasy of being with them and they said, but I can't, can't get a boyfriend because they don't want to be seen in public with them. So they have so many people around them, but they're so lonely. And that's why I said, I count my blessing because I have my family and my wife and, and so on, and then I have that blessing in that area to be able to have that. But that, that loneliness is a big thing to try to overcome internal loneliness, you know?
Yeah. And that fear, that barrier, that fear at the beginning, it's that fear of being alone and being lonely is, is real, you know, the fear of losing everything.
Yeah.
It's not losing the material things, it's losing the emotional things, isn't it?
Yeah, exactly. And I mean, I live, I live here in Florida and for five years I don't think I've met one person, one trans person like myself. I don't bump into them at all. So I have to go to events that we go and congregate like friends that I know online that I see and we'll go to an event, either we'll go to a cruise together or go to go out to a dinner Together or we'll go to an event like there's one coming up next month in Pennsylvania. There's like 500 people. We just go, we just take over to town, right. Pennsylvania, and just able to physically touch other people that think as you do and that are like you and like, oh, I'm not alone. Right.
And that kind of sets you off at least for the next year until you can do that again with other people. So that connection is vitally important to be able to connect with people, even if it's for dinner or just go out shopping with someone or have a lunch with someone. It's, it's important for that human connection with other people.
I figure that is often we're quite different from people who are from the LGB spectrum because they tend to find that people who are gay or lesbian, they want to go clubbing, they want to go to same sex or same gender events a lot more. But I don't crave the environment, the queer, the gay environment, because I crave everyday life. I crave CIS world, hetero world, whatever it may be, because I've not orientated myself around my identity in that way. I just want to get on and be like everybody else. So I don't feel that same allegiance to a flag or to a club or to a, to a, to a movement. I just want to be accepted for being Joanne, the woman who goes shopping, who goes to work, who does this and does that. But you're right, I do have this need to have some close friends who I, who I see not regularly, maybe twice, three times a year for dinner, for lunch, or if we bump into each other or do have a good natter. But I don't feel the need to segregate myself into a trans space.
I do the same thing. I do the same thing. I want to connect with them on occasion, but I don't necessarily have to. Being trans is not who I am. It's just part of me. I look, it's what I call normal trans. I call it normal trans, whatever that means is this. I want to be a good neighbour.
I want to be assimilating to society. Someone doesn't see this, they just say, oh, you're just Jo. And like when I go on a cruise, a lot of times I have people that look at me, they look at my wife goes, they're looking, they're staring at you. I'm like 6 foot 5 in heels. I don't blend, say, gwen, don't blend. And eventually I'm in the hot tub or they're in the hot tub. And it gets around to talking, talking. And it's my opportunity to get them to ask about me because I want to tell.
I want to talk to them, and I want to shed misconceptions for people. And inevitably it always gets down to, wow, you're nothing like I thought you would be. And what I thought you would be is always something that's driven by the media, because how often do they really meet someone like me? And so what their misconception is driven by other things, and usually that's not good. And because the media is usually driven by clicks and eyeballs and money, so they're showing the fantastical parts and sometimes not the good parts. And the 95% in the middle that want to be good people and be us and be good neighbours, they don't see, and they're like, wow, you're actually pretty funny. Wow, you're actually pretty nice. And they got to know me, and then we're joking and we're laughing and having a great time, but we get to loosen up together. So next time, when they meet someone such as myself, they cut them a break.
And they don't kind of judge as much as they may have before because they met me and they're like, oh, okay, she was pretty cool. And so, you know, changing perceptions one person at a time is one of my goals.
Yeah. And it's. That's actually quite a burden, though, isn't it? Feeling responsible for being the best version of you. To represent not only yourself, but other people who've fit into the category that you fit in and not letting down the side. That's a big responsibility for anyone to adopt, isn't it?
Yeah, it is. I mean, you want to be yourself and you're responsible for yourself, but you also have a larger responsibility for the community that you live in. You want to leave a good mark to other people. So, yeah, that's. I try to do that as much as I can, and I do that through how I carry myself. And I mean, when I go out around where I live, there's. I like. I like live music and I like, like to go dancing.
And so we go out and a lot of people and my friends are. They're like, you go where you go there. And it's a very cisgender place. I mean, it's like almost like cowboy or truckers kind of thing. And I'm like. I'm like. And. But it's one of the things in psychology is.
Is you tend to get more of what you think about and what you anticipate. So if you go in anticipating problems, you anticipate negative things happening, getting misgendered or getting ticked off or whatever, you're going to get more because your brain sees that, because it's what it's looking for. So I go in to any situation, I look and I looking for the good in people first and I expect to be treated well. And I go in with confidence and I go in with a smile and I laugh with people and it brings down the walls and they just, they treat me totally different because I, I break that, I break that ice barrier. So this way they're like, you're pretty cool. And so I never have any problems anywhere. I go with people. Plus I'm pretty imposing.
I'm, I'm not small, so I could probably defend myself with people, but I don't go in looking for that. And if you carry yourself in and you go in with confidence and you go in with a smile and you're expecting to be treated well, and so I am.
You look at the media, your media, our media, this side of the pond, global media, there's a lot of misinterpretation, a lot of misrepresentation, a lot of myths, a lot of stereotypes that are amplified, as you say, for eyeballs, clicks and revenue. How is day to day life? I would imagine on my side of the pond that Florida is one of the worst places in the U.S. i mean, it's all relative. There are lots of places in the US that are probably as bad or different. But is day to day life positive and okay for a trans woman as yourself?
Yeah, I've been here for five years, never had a problem, and I'm in a 55 or older community, never had a problem. Now, it's not to say that everybody's going to invite me over for lunch, we're not going to braid each other's hair. But they smile and say goodbye morning and everything. So superficially they're cool. But that, but in that community in Florida, there's people from all over the United States and internationally that come and they retire over here. So there's, there's an older population and they're from, they're from all over, not just Florida. So I'm going to get people from all varieties of people. So in our community, I don't think there's any trans people, but there's some gay, lesbian couples and so on here, not many, but a few, and people from all walks of life.
So I get Everything. So see, I'm, I'm a talk of the queen of the pickleball court. I'm like, you know, whatever, you know, but when I, when I go out, it's, you know, some of the clubs over here are very. What I. They're very deep red. They call it red.
Yes.
Yeah, deep red. I'm like, you know, I don't care. I just, I see, I, like I said, I see people. I judge them based on them first and I judge them based on energy, how I feel around them and, and I don't put myself in bad situations to, to worry about it so much. Um, and I, I decide. It's important to decide where you're going to plant your flag and, and fight to the death and what's not worth it. Sometimes something I'll get all the time, I'll walk up and someone and some out of a knee jerk reaction, they'll go, oh, thank you, sir. And I'm like, okay, that's not worth planting my flag on.
Right. It's just, I look at it as, that's human reaction. I'm big. I got man hands. Okay? I'm big. My voice, you know, and they make these snap decisions and then after they look and they're, oh, thank you, ma'. Am. And they change, you know, because they made it, they made that snap knee jerk decision and you cut people a break.
I just cut people a break. And. But when someone's trying to be a, how I was going to put it, a dick about it.
Dick. Yeah.
You know, that's when I get pissed because I can tell, you know, so, so. But that luckily happens very, very rare. And you just decide where you want to plant your flag. So. But I find that most people, the vast majority of people, and even in Florida, they just want to live and let live. They want to, they want to be. They want to live and let live. Just don't impose it on them, whatever it is, you know, just don't oppose them.
Just live and let live. You know, you have your life, I have my life. We can be friends. We're good, we're cool. That's. That's how I find most people are living their life.
Yeah, I mean, as a Brit, you know, I used to do work from time to time in the States. I'd do a conference, I go and speak out there. I'd host a, host a conference or something. But in the last year I've made a decision that it's probably not the best place for me to come because is it that bad? You know, it's the tsa. Is the immigration. Are they going to look at me and go, I don't need passport? You know, they're going to cheque my social media out in advance and go, you're not the kind of person we want in this country. There's a hell of a lot more risk now than ever used to be.
Yeah. I have not changed my driver's license and my passport yet. When I go through customs, they're like, looking. They're like. And then they kill somebody over. And they go, is this really the same person? Because I look really different. Is that really the same person? I'm like, yes. I'm like, not today.
So. And I joke and laugh and they're like, okay, you can go through. Finally, before I went on the cruise, I actually went to change my name and everything. So I'm waiting on court dates and all sorts of stuff. I think that'll help bring everything more into focus. I get a kick out of it. It showed my license and my passport and they're looking at me like I go into vote or something. And I'm like.
They're like, yeah, I've been lazy. I haven't gotten to it yet.
I mean, is that still possible? I mean, I was under the impression of. And that Florida was one of the places where they were revoking driving licenses, where you changed your name or it didn't align with your.
Your birth is the. The male and female part. It's supposed to be assigned at birth. So if you're a male at birth, you can't be female. But you can change everything else. You just can't change the male or female part. When I went to Fort Lauderdale, which is below where I live in Naples, I went to get breast augmentation. And Dr.
He's freaking unbelievable. He's great. And I went for a second procedure because I wanted to get bigger. And I just snuck in and I was referring people because the guy's so good. He's like one of the world's best, best doctors in that area. And he said, we can't do trans anymore. And he's not because we don't want to. It's because the hospital won't take your ID if it says male on it, do that.
Do that specific operation. He said, we love. We love you guys and our staff and everybody loves it. And I do them all. I've been doing that for 20 years. I just can't do it anymore because of the recent law changes. So I snuck in at the last minute and then the law changed.
Wow.
So, yeah, if I went in now and my licence said M instead of F, they wouldn't be able to do it.
That's a real impact, isn't it? I mean, it's not just about being blocked from a toilet. This is now denying you a consensual operation. But that's standard insurance for me.
It's like if it says M, it says F. I know internally who I am and it doesn't, it's not a big deal. But for something like that, it's a big deal. Right. And so if I wanted to now, if I wanted to go do it, I couldn't do it in Florida. I have to go somewhere else or I'll take a medical vacation and go to Thailand or Turkey or someplace, you know, and, and have it over there. But yeah, that's. So that's when it gets more much.
I'll say a challenge to do that.
I mean, all my ID is, is F, top to bottom. I. I couldn't. I can't. I can no longer prove who I used to be in any shape or form. I've got birth certificate, passport, driving licence, everything about it.
I want to tell you I was born in New York, just outside New York City, and I looked up on one of the AI bots about changing birth certificates and everything, and they're like very much more progressive over there, so they don't really have a big deal about it. So I'm going to see if I can change it over there and then bring it to Florida and then show it on my birth certificate and then change my licence and, you know, my passport and see what happens. I'm still not. They probably not do it because it's. It's not what your birth certificate says. It's assigned at birth, which is two different things.
Yeah, right. So they've now clarified that that mark is assigned at birth, not assigned at birth.
Yeah.
Who you are today.
Right? Yeah. And, yeah, I'll try.
I'll see what I can do.
And, you know. Yeah, but if it says, you know, I know who I am and I'm not going to worry about it, you know, so I'll. I'll. I'll go like this. I'll be okay. It's nice to have a.
But I think, I think it's what you're saying just now about it's not a flag, it's not a hill you want to plant your flag on. It's not a hill you want to Die on, is it?
Yeah. It's not something to plant my flag on.
Yeah. It's. You're not getting your driving licence or your passport every five seconds and seeing that and getting a problem with it. I mean. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't affect me day to day. Just as you say, if you're going through immigration, it has the wrong gender marker on it. It's.
It's dysphoric, it causes dysphoria and it would to me, but the times I show it, it matters not. And it's only if you're being denied something, as you said. I think the impact is being denied surgery or other situations where that letter is preventing you accessing something that's necessary.
Yeah. That's where it becomes a much bigger factor. Like, I go to some pride centres on occasion on certain nights of the. Of the month, and they have younger people, I'd say 15 to 25 there, and they're going. Thinking about or going through transition or whatever. The. Just the common thread that I see with all of them is some. Like when I was in the Marines, I call it, I developed a spine.
Like, I got tough, right? And just things just bounce off me and they don't. Don't. They don't affect me that much. But when they would speak about their life or what's happening to them, they're all on medication, they all have some kind of a mental issue or they perceive they have a mental issue or they have Tourette's or they have something underlying and everything devastates them. So even if they're misgendered, it's like crushing, because they don't have. I call it a spine, right? And you have to get. Eventually you have to go in where the. Where the broken glass is to develop toughness, so you can deal with the broken glass later on.
And if you avoid and you try to go in safe spaces all the time, you don't get that toughness to deal with life, you gotta deal with life. And they're young and they've been avoiding all this stuff throughout their young life. And so now everything crushes them. So I do thank being in the service that provided that to me, to be able to be in that era tough like that. And so with the stuff that I come out with now, I try to help them to develop that toughness again, to decide where you're going to plant your flag and what's going to affect you, what to let go and what to. What to keep and have. Have more of a rational decision about it so this way you can let it go if it's not there and not hold onto it and be like this.
And we also live in a noisier world, don't we? With social media, we're judged online keyword warriors. The news, the polarisation, the polemic debates that are around all the time. It's hard, it must be hard for a young person to develop that, as you say, that stoicism, that resilience, that bounce back ability. Because resilience you have, as you say, you have to push to understand that it doesn't matter. The next time you push, it's not so bad. You can expand, expand, expand. But if you're constantly in a bubble where people go there, there, don't worry, we'll talk about it together, we'll support each other. But you're never really testing those barriers.
You can see a little bit of the other people's life and at that age social acceptance is like oxygen for them. It's like oxygen and it means so much to them and there's very, and their brain is still forming and so on and they're, they're easily influenced and that's why many countries, I think Australia and I think France just did this where they, they just say young people from a certain age below, they don't even get, they won't get let them on social media.
Yeah, Australia just passed 16 and we talk about in the UK as well too.
Yeah, it influences their mind so much that they won't even let them on. And it's become a big problem with learning in school because even with learning in the United States they're like, oh, every, every kid gets a laptop and they thought that was helping people, but it's really. People are getting more stupid because they're letting machinery do the work and they're not doing critical thinking in their brain to solve problems themselves. Everything is going through the machine and it's not going through you. And so you're, you're increasing on one side, but you're decreasing the human element of, of critical thinking and actually using your grey matter, your grey matter up here, you know, that's starting to be a big problem that the one, one thing that though is helping is really hindering.
Yeah, no, I get that. Yeah. The power of rhetoric, the power of debate, the power of considering other people's perspectives and opinions. So busy polar opposites. And it's really hard to be in the middle, isn't it, and see both perspectives and be equanimity, equanimity it's part of the matrix.
It's what the algorithm does. It makes everybody polarised. There's a show, if you have Netflix, called The Social Dilemma. I can't remember what it is now. It'll come to me. But it goes into that problem with the algorithm and how it. It polarises society because it gives you more of what you want and not the other stuff. So you don't get a chance to see both.
You see one and the other one sees one and they go like this. And so you, like you said, you don't able to have debate and just compromise and everything. And still they just go like this. And that's what's happening in society quite a bit now.
Now. And it's not just a bit of that. It's actually that those magnetic poles repelling each other. It's getting worse and worse and worse over time. Those opinions are drifting further and further apart and you become entrenched, you become wedded because your whole community, the people you hang out with, everybody you talk to believes the same thing as you do. And it's pushing everyone apart and.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Even the centre ground to people who are on the extremes looks extreme from that perspective, you know, because I could be in the middle of those views and I look polar opposite. It's crazy. We can't even meet in the middle anymore. There's no middle.
Yeah. Everybody has to be right. There's no compromise. It's like I have to be right at all costs and I'll defend myself to the death just to be right. And there's, you know, no possibility I could be even a little wrong. No, compromise isn't a thing anymore.
But that's the framing, isn't it? It's about being right or wrong. We've lost the ability to see that. Well, actually, it's just my perspective, it's my view, it's my belief, and I have a right to be right. It's like, hang on a minute, that's free speech, isn't it? Being right. It's trying to teach people how to be accountable for those views as well.
Yeah. One of the things that I learned over years of leadership and perspective, and I used to speak about leadership quite a bit when I did on stage, is in order to, as people and human beings, the purpose is to grow. We want to grow and get better. We just don't graduate from school, spike the football or hit the soccer ball and you're done. Right. And you don't grow anymore. The whole purpose is to grow, to get better, to get better, to get better. But if you're full of whatever you think is right, there's no room for anything else.
So you have to have the knowledge and the willingness to get rid of old things and old thoughts and beliefs that maybe don't serve you anymore. So you make room for the new stuff to come in that have maybe been updated, that you're like, oh, I never thought of it that way. But now there's no room for that, right? Because you just overflow and you're pissed off on everything because you have no room for any kind of concept anymore, maybe even old things that you. Old beliefs that you've cherished so long and maybe don't serve you anymore. And you just have to be able to let them go because they don't serve you anymore. So you have room for new concepts, new ideas to grow as a person. And there's a book was written in the early 90s by Wallace Wattles called the Science of Getting Rich. It's much more than just the title, but he says we all deserve to be rich.
And he's not necessarily talking about rich in money terms, but he does talk about that. But it serves its purpose so that this way it allows you to access life experiences that you would never be able to access if you didn't have money. So you can become a better person, experience, travel the world and see new cultures, new ideas and become diverse and be able to see, wow, there's more beyond the pond, there's more beyond America. And the world is such a big place. And I can go to India and Thailand and see, oh, my God, the cultures are crazy good, they're so cool. But you would never know. And you couldn't access that if you didn't have the money to do that. So the purpose of the book, I call it literary artwork.
It's a beautifully written book. It's short, really small, but. But to allow your. The point is to really. Life's purpose is to grow and to be able to gain more knowledge and new information and more experiences to become better as you grow and not just spike the ball.
Fabulous. Okay, I'm guessing we're going to have. I'm going to be really stereotypical here. Two types of listeners listening to us in this conversation. We're going to have people who are maybe questioning their gender, maybe they've or have questioned their gender, and people who haven't. So let's just think about the people who are questioning their gender. They may be living in a state of flux Maybe they're not sure about themselves or maybe they've got their shit together and they've sorted it. So what advice would you give people that you're coaching and mentoring when they're in that vortex of confusion and uncertainty and not knowing how to go forward? Where would you encourage them to go?
If their questioning is to not is to. Don't deny it. But I described the female side of me, inside of me as a seed. And there's what I call the laws of the universe, gravity and different things. There's one called law of gestation. And that's everything gives birth in its own time. And so you have, if you plant corn, you know, in a certain amount of days it's going to germinate. You just don't dig it up after a week and say, well, we don't have corn.
I'm going to plant cucumbers. You know, it's going to take a while to germinate. So gwen took, took 60 years to germinate inside of me and bloomed at a certain point. And if you're questioning your gender, you, you, you have these two parts inside of you, this yin and yang that you're playing with. And whichever one you feed more is the one that's going to dominate. And it's okay that if you have male on one side, female on the other side, and you're in the middle, it's okay to be in the middle, right? It's okay to be, hey, I want to be male this day or this week. If you know perfectly fine. Other people are more polarised and they want to, they want to gravity more or the other side.
There's so many of the spectrum, as they call it, is. I would say embrace it, but think about also you have to think about your life, your finances, your relationships and the collateral damage. Nobody wants to think about that. Friendships, love, lives, all this type of thing that you have to think about as well too. If I do this, what is, is what may happen and anticipate. But to. If you're, if you want to explore more female or more male, then find meetup groups and other groups around you that you can talk to. That was one of the things that, that helped me when I first started coming out and dressing was just around Covid time.
Just before that, I found a meetup group in New York and they would get together once a week and we would talk and they would answer questions for me that I never had 50 years ago, 40 years ago. And we'd have, they'd have A kitchen and food and cook. And I was able to meet my people, right? And they were able to help me to explore this. And if I didn't have that, I don't even know if Gwen will be here today because I would just be alone. I don't know. Or maybe she would have bloomed another five years from now. So I guess it's a long winded answer to your question. Hopefully I answer that.
No, it's a good answer. And finally then, would you. What would you offer to people who are trying to support people who are exploring their gender feeling dysphoria either as a loved one, a friend, a colleague, even a stranger in a bar? What would you offer them as some guidance for them?
Tolerance is much more than tolerating people. As long as they agree with you. So many times people, oh, I'm so tolerant, but if you don't agree with me, you're dirt to me. That's not tolerance. Tolerance is being able to accept people as they are and to be able to see them for the essence of the person that they really are and how they're presenting. And like I said, I judge people by energy, not so much the initial perception. And to go a little bit deeper with the people. So this way you can.
Everybody needs to be cut a break once in a while. And if they're angry or something, or you're kind of rubbing like this with them, hey, did they have a bad day today or something? You don't know the backstory as well. So cut them a break, deal with that and be able to treat them as they are. Even compliment, compliment, you look great today, or I love your hair today, or I love your clothes today. Even something like that, you never know. Even something little like that because you don't know their backstory can change a person's life. There's a story of this world renowned speaker called Nick Vujicic. He has no arms and no legs, right? And he would go to school and he would get ragged on, ragged on, ragged on.
And he. And, and he said to himself, listen, if another person comes up to me and just insults me and stuff like that, I'm just gonna kill myself. I just can't deal with it anymore. And then this girl came up to him and she goes, here he goes, here comes. And she goes, nick, you're looking great today. And that just really. And that made him feel so much better. Even one compliment.
Cause you don't know the backstory of someone's life. Give them a compliment, smile to them Give them something good, even pay it forward. I'm on a line paying for food. I'll pay for their food or something. Just pay it forward. You know, what's a few dollars? You know, it's not gonna mean anything to me, but it might be something great to a senior or to somebody else that you do that for. Be kind to people and people appreciate it.
Yeah, I often describe that as micro validations. Just those little touches, that little. I see you, I'm smiling at you, and this is going to make you smile back. Just those little things.
Exactly, exactly. That's a short way to put it, but you did great. Yeah, I love it.
I love your nails. Or. Wow, you look great today. Oh, that's a lovely dress. Just something or just smile at someone. Hi, honey. How are you doing? Anything that is. You don't have to draw attention to someone's difference or something.
You just want to go, you look great. Nice one. Yeah. That's all you want. And if it's a trans man, you can say, wow, man, you're looking buff today. Love you. Love it. Love your guns, whatever it may be.
Love the cannons. Right?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, yeah, no, it's. That's a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you. So, Gwen, it's been absolutely fascinating talking to you for the last hour and a bit, actually, we've been yakking away, how can people get hold of you? What's the best way? Have you got a book? And what do you want people to do?
Yeah, well, I kind of hinted. I don't know if you could see, it's a little bit backwards.
Dysphoria hacks.
Yeah, but it's Dysphoria hacks. If you go to dysphoriahacks.com, you'll see the book there. There's also a companion book. So Dysphoria Hacks is the philosophy that I talked about, about diffusing anger, fear, and you don't have to have just dysphoria. It could be that you're afraid of. It's going to help you combat that and know what it is and how to work with it. And then there's a workbook in it. I call it.
Well, in the Marine, we have a saying. It says Semper Fi. We say semper fi all the time, so it's called Semper Fi to Semper Femme. And it's the workbook that goes with that. And you have an option of getting that as well, too, if you want to. And that goes a Lot deeper into different things for people. Very affordable. It's all digital.
They can go get it there eventually be on Amazon, but not yet. And if they want to. Want to contact me, I'm on Facebook all the time. I write a lot on Facebook. Really deep, long stuff. It's just Gwen Patrone. It's like the tequila patron, but you have to add an E at the end because I'm a little spicy. I'm a little spicy.
And. And you can, you know, contact me on those. Instagram, Facebook. And I'm also. I also love food. So I'm a foodie and I'm starting a cooking channel. Cause I used to be in the restaurant business and I love to cook and culinary and. But it's how to.
How. How. Using food as energy, but romance. A little bit flirty, a little bit sexual. And the channel is called Culinary and Cleavage. Culinary and Cleavage. So I have a lot of fun with it. So I have a lot of liberty with.
With it. My recipes aren't just recipes, but it's. It's like. Well, you'll see it. You'll see the recipe. When I get to. They're. They're there.
But I'm gonna start doing the recipes in the next week and you'll see that. And I'll dress like very suggestively and all different things. Just. I want to make cooking fun. Not too serious, very flirty, very suggestive. But to bring couples together, to enjoy the process of cooking together and. And bring couples together there or to go enjoy the process of cooking. So I'll go and I'll go shopping for food, look at different things and I'll be describing.
And I'll video that and I'll have bloopers on there and all sorts of stuff. So. Because that's my personality. Just I love to be goofy and. And. But yeah, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, culinary and cleavage. I think you'll enjoy it. It'll be fun.
Fun.
Wow. I. I've just checked you out on Facebook. I just found your Facebook page. And I'll put all the details in the notes.
Okay.
Are you. Are you on LinkedIn at all? Or is it mainly Facebook, Instagram?
I'm not on LinkedIn. I never went on LinkedIn because I will be on there soon. But I never went on there because I never legally changed my name. So I didn't. I just didn't feel comfortable doing that yet. But I've all the paperwork submitted waiting on my court date, and once that happens, I'll be on LinkedIn as Gwen Patrone.
Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Well, well, I do encourage you to, if you're listening to this, to check out Gwen's websites and the book digital offering, drop in on Facebook. I noticed we've got 10 mutual friends on Facebook, so I have I'll ping you a friend request and maybe we can keep in touch.
Yeah, I already posted this morning. I said I'm on doing a podcast right now and I put your name tagged you on there as well too. And so once this airs, I'll post it again.
So absolutely fantastic. So, Gwen, thank you so much.
Thank you, Jo, thank you so much. Thanks, everybody.
As we bring this conversation to a close, I want to express my deepest gratitude to you, our listener, for lending your ear and heart to the cause of inclusion. Today's discussion struck a chord. Consider subscribing to Inclusion Bites and become part of our ever growing community driving real change. Share this journey with friends, family and colleagues. Let's amplify the voices that matter. Got thoughts, stories or a vision to share?
I'm all ears.
Reach out to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and let's make your voice heard. Until next time, this is Joanne Lockwood signing off with a promise to return with more enriching narratives that challenge, inspire and unite us all. Here's to fostering a more inclusive world one episode at a time. Catch you on the next bite.
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Episode Category
Primary Category: Queer Voices
Secondary Category: Overcoming Adversity
🔖 Titles
Transforming Fear Into Strength: Dr Gwen Petrone on Resilience, Identity, and Authentic Living
Fear as a Superpower: Tools for Thriving With Authenticity and Courage
Navigating Gender, Identity and Fear: Insights from Dr Gwen Petrone
The Power of Fear: Repurposing Anxiety for Self-Belief and Growth
From Dysphoria to Confidence: Mastering the Art of Domesticating Fear
The Matrix Moment: Seeing Fear in Slow Motion to Unlock Authenticity
Courage, Authenticity, and Inclusion: Rethinking Fear With Dr Gwen Petrone
Building Resilience: Lessons From the Marines to Managing Gender Identity
Finding Belonging by Facing Fear: Real-Life Stories on Inclusion Bites
Overcoming Barriers: Turning Your Greatest Fears Into Your Biggest Strengths
A Subtitle - A Single Sentence describing this episode
Dr. Gwen Petrone explores how transforming fear, anxiety and dysphoria into strengths can unlock profound resilience, authenticity, and clarity, offering nuanced insights into identity, acceptance, and the journey towards self-belonging.
Episode Tags
Fear as a Superpower, Gender Diversity, Authentic Living, Transforming Anxiety, Resilience Building, Overcoming Barriers, Inclusive Conversations, Personal Growth, Stoic Philosophy, Community Support
Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway
In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood welcomes Dr. Gwen Petrone to explore the theme “Fear as a Superpower.” Their conversation traverses the landscape of fear, resilience, and authentic living, particularly through the lens of trans and gender diverse experience. Joanne and Gwen draw compelling parallels with pop culture, likening Gwen’s ability to "see fear in slow motion" to the iconic Matrix scene, and discuss how strategies honed in the military can help reframe fear as a catalyst for clarity, strength, and growth. Together, they unpack the complex emotional barriers—dubbed “terror barriers”—that can accompany authenticity and how repeated, incremental exposure to fear can desensitise and empower.
Gwen is a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach whose journey spans technical expertise in cryptographic electronics to lived experience as a gender diverse advocate. After moving from New York City to Florida, she has channelled her resilience into supporting trans and gender diverse people seeking to transform anxiety and dysphoria into sources of self-belief. Her book, Dysphoria Hacks, draws on insights from her military career, leadership roles, and her evolution as both Peter and Gwen, blending practical techniques with philosophical reflection. Gwen’s candid anecdotes reveal her commitment to authenticity, whether navigating societal expectations, participating in the local community, or connecting with others seeking belonging. Through her writing, coaching, and public engagement, Gwen highlights the importance of finding strength in vulnerability and fostering inclusive connections, all while embracing the multiplicities of her identity.
Joanne and Gwen’s dialogue offers a nuanced dissection of internal and external fears—whether paralysing uncertainty, fear of rejection, or the challenges of systemic barriers in contemporary society. They advocate for authenticity, encourage incremental acts of courage, and emphasise the transformative power of micro validations and kindness. A key takeaway from this episode is the idea that fear, once understood and domesticated, can become a powerful tool for personal growth and positive change—urging listeners to embrace discomfort, cultivate resilience, and build genuine connections. This episode will particularly resonate with those searching for self-acceptance, allyship, or pathways to thriving amidst adversity.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Inclusion Bites invites bold conversations on inclusion and belonging led by Joanne Lockwood, fostering connection and inspiring societal change.
10:18 Stress triggers emotional detachment, leading to calm, analytical behaviour; a learned balance between emotional and logical thinking.
11:13 The speaker discusses "domesticating fear" through systematic training, comparing it to taming a dog's instincts for better control.
17:54 People often judge others based on small clips, but everyone is unique. The speaker enjoyed being male but feels more fulfilled as female, embracing individuality and fluidity.
23:56 Realised the need to redefine identity, abandoning stereotypical femininity.
28:46 The text reflects on loneliness, especially among trans and gender non-conforming individuals often desired in private but rejected publicly, contrasting it with gratitude for personal support systems like family.
32:37 Breaking misconceptions through personal interaction reveals the humanity often misrepresented by media.
38:40 A Brit avoids working in the U.S. due to increased immigration and security concerns.
44:30 Resilience comes from facing challenges, not avoiding them; develop toughness to handle life's difficulties rationally.
49:38 Let go of outdated beliefs to make room for new ideas and personal growth; as Wallace Wattles suggests in The Science of Getting Rich, everyone deserves abundance.
54:57 Show kindness and understanding, as small gestures or compliments can positively impact others, whose struggles you may not know.
58:50 Plan to make cooking fun and flirty to bring couples together.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Inclusion Bites: Conversations for Change
10:18 "Calm Under Stressful Situations"
11:13 Domesticate Fear Systematically
17:54 Identity and Fluidity Conversation
23:56 Rediscovering Authentic Self
28:46 "Overcoming Loneliness and Gratitude"
32:37 Breaking Misconceptions Through Connection
38:40 Avoiding Travel to the US
44:30 "Building Resilience in Life"
49:38 "Letting Go for Growth"
54:57 "Kindness Changes Lives"
58:50 "Flirty Cooking for Couples"
Custom LinkedIn Post
🎙️ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗪𝗲𝗲𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: 𝗙𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 🎙️
💬 Is fear holding you back, or could it actually be your secret strength? Find out in just 60 seconds! 💬
This week, I'm buzzing to welcome Dr. Gwen Petrone—former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach, guiding gender diverse people to harness their fears and turn anxiety into resilience. If you think fear is just a roadblock, Gwen’s story will make you think again.
Together, we explore:
🔑 𝘚𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘔𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 – Learn Gwen’s Matrix-inspired method to pause, analyse, and repurpose fear into clarity.
🔑 𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘛𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳 𝘉𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴 – Why your biggest anxiety is often paper-thin once you face it—and how to keep expanding your comfort zone.
🔑 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘋𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘍𝘦𝘢𝘳 – Practical, military-inspired techniques to transform fear and dysphoria into powerful action and authenticity.
Why Listen? "This episode isn’t just about beating nerves—it’s about owning them. Get real-world ideas to build resilience, champion inclusion, and be unapologetically you—whatever ‘you’ means."
As the host of Inclusion Bites, I serve up weekly episodes that incite new thinking and drive positive belonging. This bite-sized audio moment is a glimpse of what's to come—challenge your perceptions every Monday!
What’s your take? 💭 When was the last time you turned your fear into fuel? Share your thoughts below 👇 or tell us how you’ve overcome your own 'terror barriers'.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#PositivePeopleExperiences #SmileEngageEducate #InclusionBites #Podcasts #Shorts #Resilience #Authenticity #GenderDiversity #OvercomingFear #MentalWellbeing
Don’t forget to like, follow, comment, and share—pass the insight on to someone who needs an extra spark!
with SEE Change Happen and Dr. Gwen Petrone
TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary
Focus Keyword: Fear as a Superpower
Video Title:
Transforming Fear as a Superpower for Positive People Experiences | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags:
fear as a superpower, culture change, positive people experiences, inclusion, belonging, resilience, self-belief, authenticity, overcoming fear, growth mindset, stoicism, gender diversity, dysphoria, marine stories, inspiring women, leadership, empowerment, well-being, transformation stories, inclusive culture, mental health, support networks, self-discovery, life lessons, podcast UK
Killer Quote:
"You control fear; it's not your master. You become a master of it and then you can repurpose it to your advantage." – Dr. Gwen Petrone
Hashtags:
#FearAsASuperpower, #CultureChange, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #InclusionMatters, #InclusionBitesPodcast, #Authenticity, #SelfBelief, #Resilience, #GrowthMindset, #Leadership, #Diversity, #Belonging, #InspireChange, #Empowerment, #Stoicism, #GenderDiversity, #LGBTQ, #Wellbeing, #Transformation, #PodcastUK
Summary Description:
In this episode, I sit down with Dr Gwen Petrone—a former US Marine, author, and coach—exploring how fear can actually fuel positive people experiences and drive real culture change. Gwen shares her transformational journey from the battlefield to the boardroom, revealing practical ways to turn fear and anxiety into strengths that cultivate genuine belonging, authenticity, and resilience in all aspects of life. We discuss the pressure valve technique, why embracing your whole self leads to clarity, and how facing your terror barrier unlocks your superpower within. If you want actionable insight on how to harness fear for personal and collective growth, tap in now. Listen, reflect, and let’s spark a positive culture shift together.
Call to action:
Don't miss out—watch, share, and comment with your thoughts on turning fear into your own superpower!
Outro:
Thank you for tuning in to Inclusion Bites, your space for real talks that drive culture change and inspire Positive People Experiences. If you enjoyed this conversation, give us a like and subscribe to the channel! For more resources and full episodes, visit SEE Change Happen and listen in at The Inclusion Bites Podcast.
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
ℹ️ Introduction
Welcome to another compelling episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, where Joanne Lockwood continues her mission to challenge societal norms and ignite meaningful conversation. In this episode, titled “Fear as a Superpower,” Joanne Lockwood is joined by Dr. Gwen Petrone, a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach dedicated to empowering gender diverse individuals.
Together, they delve into the art of transforming fear, anxiety and dysphoria into strengths that build resilience and self-belief. Drawing upon personal journeys—from the wintry streets of New York to the diverse communities of Florida—they explore how fear, when properly understood and domesticated, can shift from an emotional barrier into a catalyst for clarity, growth and authenticity.
Throughout the conversation, Dr. Gwen Petrone shares insights from military service and life experience, including her “slow motion” approach to fear, and techniques for navigating life's terror barriers. The episode doesn't shy away from the complexities of those living outside traditional gender norms, discussing the importance of genuine self-expression, the realities of loneliness, evolving identity, and the power that comes from aligning one’s inner and outer worlds.
For anyone questioning their identity, supporting a loved one, or simply curious about the human capacity to thrive amidst uncertainty, this is an episode rich in practical wisdom, candid storytelling, and a resounding call to embrace authenticity.
Plug in your earbuds and join Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone, as they unpack how fear, when reframed, becomes not a foe, but one of our greatest superpowers.
💬 Keywords
inclusion, belonging, gender diversity, fear as a superpower, resilience, self-belief, dysphoria, US Marine, authenticity, transition, stoicism, vulnerability, societal transformation, support networks, mental health, loneliness, identity, self-discovery, misrepresentation, media stereotypes, LGBTQ+, empathy, human connection, self-acceptance, allyship, transformative conversations, personal growth, leadership, overcoming barriers, lived experience
About this Episode
About The Episode:
In this impactful episode, Dr. Gwen Petrone joins the conversation to explore how fear—so often a source of anxiety and limitation—can be transformed into a genuine superpower for resilience, authenticity, and personal growth. Drawing on her experience as a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach to gender diverse people, Dr. Petrone reveals practical techniques for re-framing fear, overcoming barriers, and cultivating self-belief. Listeners are invited into a candid, motivating discussion about vulnerability, courage, and what it means to thrive while bringing one’s whole self to the world.
Today, we'll cover:
Techniques for slowing down the fear response and analysing situations rationally rather than being overwhelmed by emotion.
The concept of domestication—training fear much like one would train an instinctual response in animals, so it becomes a source of energy rather than a hindrance.
How repeated exposure and desensitisation, as practised in military contexts, can help individuals run towards, rather than away from, the things that scare them.
The continual expansion of comfort zones: breaking through “terror barriers” and discovering that perceived limitations are often thinner than imagined.
The critical importance of authenticity, self-acceptance, and the value of bringing one’s whole identity—rather than living a double or hidden life.
Why social connection, micro-validations, and paying authentic compliments support the mental health of those experiencing gender dysphoria or difference.
The role of allyship in fostering inclusion: seeing beyond initial perceptions, offering tolerance in its truest sense, and taking small actions to lift others up.
💡 Speaker bios
Joanne Lockwood is the host and guide behind Inclusion Bites, a thought-provoking platform dedicated to bold conversations that inspire change. Driven by a passion for creating a world where everyone truly belongs and flourishes, Joanne leads her audience on a journey of exploration into inclusion, belonging, and societal transformation. Through Inclusion Bites, she uncovers unseen stories, challenges the status quo, and invites others to reflect, connect and take action. Joanne’s welcoming approach encourages listeners to join the conversation, fostering a collective spirit of transformation and inspiration.
💡 Speaker bios
Dr Gwen Petrone's journey is marked by resilience and transformation. Her time serving in the Marine Corps provided her with unique insights into overcoming fear and adapting to high-pressure situations—experiences that inspired her book, Dysphoria Hacks. In her writing, Dr Petrone distils the lessons she learned from military service, focusing on how to desensitise oneself to stress and unexpected challenges. She teaches readers to “freeze time”, allowing them to face daunting circumstances with a calm perspective and to remould fear into a powerful tool for personal advancement. Dr Petrone’s story is one of turning adversity into strength and helping others do the same.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Certainly! Here is a comprehensive sequence of topics covered in the transcript, complete with supporting sub-topics for each primary area:
1. Introduction to Inclusion Bites Podcast
Purpose and ethos of Inclusion Bites
Invitation to listeners for engagement and participation
Host’s welcome and context-setting
2. Guest Introduction: Dr. Gwen Petrone
Overview of Dr. Gwen Petrone’s background
Service as a former US Marine sergeant
Role as an author and coach for gender-diverse individuals
Unique superpower: Seeing fear in slow motion
3. Immigrant Experiences and Environmental Transitions
Moving from New York to Florida
Contrasts between climates and lived experiences
Personal anecdotes around weather, urban environments, and adaptation
4. Early Inspirations and Cultivation of “Fear as a Superpower”
Use of metaphor from “The Matrix” for understanding fear
Lessons drawn from military training about desensitising and remoulding fear
Application of these principles to gender dysphoria, anxiety, and sporting and business contexts
5. Military and Technical Service Experiences
Dr. Gwen Petrone’s technical specialism in cryptographic electronics
Reflections on secrecy, resilience, and technical challenges in the military
Parallels between military and civilian careers, including transferable skills
6. Neuroscience of Fear and Decision-Making Under Pressure
Differentiating emotional and analytical responses (amygdala vs. prefrontal cortex)
Mechanisms for emotional regulation and focus during stress
Conceptualising “domesticating fear” for personal growth
7. Gender Dysphoria: Lived Experience and Coping Mechanisms
The pressure valve metaphor for managing dysphoria
The psychological and emotional journey of self-acceptance
The importance of creating safe ways to express identity and emotion
8. The Nature of Fear and the “Terror Barrier”
Universal fears: Rejection, the unknown, and inauthenticity
The recurring cycle of encountering and overcoming terror barriers
Stoic philosophy: Desensitisation and personal growth through confronting fears
9. Authenticity Versus Presentation in Gender Identity
Impact of authenticity on mental well-being and social acceptance
Dangers of curated online personas and “faking it”
The liberation of aligning external identity with internal self
10. Integration of Self: Embracing Past and Present Identities
The value of integrating positive traits from previous identities
Insights from sport, coaching, and lived experiences of transition
Case studies on shedding inauthenticity to thrive in the present
11. Family, Relationships and Interpersonal Dynamics During Transition
The realities of coming out in later life and within family contexts
Experiences of loneliness, support, and community acceptance
The varied journeys of others, highlighting both blessings and challenges
12. Community, Belonging and Loneliness
Differences between gender-diverse experiences and LGB communities
The search for “normalcy” and integration versus seeking out affinity groups
The importance of small circles of understanding friends versus large affinity groups
13. Navigating Day-to-Day Life as a Trans Woman in Florida (and beyond)
Experiences of social acceptance and rejection in diverse locations
The practical impact of legislation on healthcare and personal identification
Day-to-day life: Supermarkets, clubs, and the art of choosing one’s battles
14. Political, Social and Media Landscapes
Media misrepresentation and myths about trans lives
The tension between visibility and privacy in a polarised environment
The necessity for compassion, open-mindedness, and challenging stereotypes
15. Building Resilience in the Next Generation
Challenges for young people: Social media, mental health, and lack of resilience
Arguing for the importance of “testing” boundaries to build fortitude
The influence of algorithms and social media on worldviews
16. Growth Through Openness and Continuous Learning
Willingness to update beliefs and learn from diverse life experiences
The perils of rigidity and the importance of lifelong growth
Referencing “The Science of Getting Rich” as a framework for personal development
17. Guidance for Individuals Questioning Gender
Nurturing one’s journey with patience (“law of gestation”)
Practical advice for exploring identity: Support groups, social circles, and self-exploration
Acknowledging collateral damage in relationships and the navigation thereof
18. Advice for Allies Supporting Gender Diverse People
The difference between tolerance and true acceptance
Practical considerations: Compliments, kindness, and micro-validations
Role-modelling supportive behaviour and the transformative impact of everyday actions
19. Conclusion and Calls to Action
Encouragement to engage with the community and podcast host
Highlighting Dr. Gwen Petrone’s resources: book(s), online presence, and coaching offerings
Reinforcing the podcast’s mission to drive inclusion and understanding
This topical sequence provides a holistic, structured overview of the comprehensive areas covered in the conversation.
The Hook
Ever wonder what your life would look like if you could actually turn FEAR into your greatest asset? Forget fight-or-flight—what if you could slow down time and use fear as your personal superpower?
So. Who would you become if you stopped letting anxiety make your decisions? Spoiler: That barrier you’re afraid to cross... might be paper thin. And on the other side? Clarity, confidence, real growth.
“Domesticate your fear.” Easy to say, right? But what if you could actually train your mind—not just to cope, but to THRIVE—when the unknown strikes? This isn’t theory. It’s toolkit.
How do you smash through your terror barrier without coming undone? It can be done. Imagine stepping into every risk—not shaking, but SHARP, calm, in charge. Sound unreal? Not anymore.
Tired of feeling paralysed by what-ifs? There’s a method for rewiring your relationship with fear—think resilience you can feel, and authenticity you can live. Ready for the insight everyone wishes they’d heard sooner?
🎬 Reel script
On this episode of Inclusion Bites, we explored how fear can be transformed into a powerful superpower. Dr. Gwen Petrone shared her remarkable journey from US Marine sergeant to advocate for gender diverse people, revealing how she’s learned to see fear in slow motion—turning anxiety into resilience and clarity. We discussed authenticity, breaking through terror barriers, and the importance of embracing every part of ourselves on the road to growth and inclusion. Subscribe for more inspiring conversations that challenge, empower, and unite us all.
🗞️ Newsletter
Subject: Fear as a Superpower – Unlocking Authenticity and Resilience | Inclusion Bites Podcast
Dear Inclusion Bites Family,
We're thrilled to bring you the latest episode, "Fear as a Superpower," where our host, Joanne Lockwood, sits down with the remarkable Dr. Gwen Petrone—author, coach, and former US Marine sergeant. This conversation brims with profound insights into how fear, when understood and repurposed, can become a strength that shapes resilience, authenticity, and true self-belief.
Episode Highlights:
Slowing Down Fear: Dr. Gwen Petrone shares her unique ability to 'see fear in slow motion,' a skill honed from her time in the Marines and explored in her book Dysphoria Hacks. She likens it to the iconic Matrix moment—freezing time to analyse, respond rationally, and transform anxiety into clarity.
Resilience Through Adversity: Listen as Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood explore domestication of fear, turning it from a master into a tool. Whether confronting gender dysphoria, embracing authenticity, or breaking through 'terror barriers,' their discussion is a testament to the power of persistence.
Authenticity Over Perfection: The episode shines a light on the importance of being one’s true self amid societal pressure and stereotypes. Joanne Lockwood's journey towards alignment offers lessons in letting go of multiple personas and enjoying the freedom of internal unity.
Impact of Real-World Challenges: From bureaucratic hurdles around gender recognition to laws affecting healthcare access, Dr. Gwen Petrone reflects on the concrete realities many trans people face, offering hope, solidarity, and practical coping strategies.
Connecting and Supporting Each Other: Both highlight the profound value of community—finding even a handful of kindred spirits can be transformational. And for allies, a simple act of affirmation or kindness has the potential to make all the difference.
Key Takeaways:
Fear isn’t the enemy—it’s a messenger and, when harnessed, your superpower.
Authenticity is liberating—not only for yourself but for those around you who seek honesty over perfection.
Connection—whether through community, conversation, or a smile—makes our journeys less lonely and more empowering.
Small validations matter; never underestimate the impact of a well-timed compliment or kind word.
Tune In & Take Part:
Ready to ignite your own spark of inclusion? Listen to the full conversation now:
👉 Inclusion Bites Podcast - Listen Here
We’d love to know your thoughts or stories. Do reach out to Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to share your insights or join us for a future episode.
Together, let’s keep building a world where authenticity and inclusion aren’t just ideals, but everyday realities.
With gratitude,
The Inclusion Bites Team
Inclusion Ignited: Real Talks that Drive Change. Stay bold. Stay authentic. #InclusionBites #PositivePeopleExperiences
🧵 Tweet thread
🧵1/ What if you could repurpose fear—not as a barrier, but as a superpower? This latest episode of Inclusion Bites explores how fear, anxiety, and dysphoria can fuel resilience, clarity, and personal growth. Here’s how.👇#InclusionBites #Podcast
2/ Meet Dr. Gwen Petrone, ex-US Marine sergeant, author, and coach. She shares her gift: seeing fear in slow motion—like Neo in The Matrix. Instead of being consumed by fear, she analyses and reuses it to make confident, rational decisions. 🔍
3/ From military bunkers to corporate boardrooms, Dr. Gwen Petrone describes how this skill helped her stay calm under pressure, make critical decisions, and support others through chaotic times. Imagine freezing time mid-crisis. Now, what would YOU do differently?
4/ As a trans woman, Dr. Gwen Petrone opens up about the “pressure valve” of dysphoria. The need to release the pressure, to be authentic, is vital—for mental health, happiness, and so much more. Authenticity ≠ Easy, but it’s life-changing. #TransVisibility
5/ Joanne Lockwood reflects on how aligning identity brought peace: “My head became really quiet… one voice, one me.” Every journey is unique, but that relief, clarity, and joy resonates. 🌈
6/ The process? Small, repeated steps: “You domesticate fear. You do it again and again, little by little. It doesn’t go away—you expand your comfort zone,” Dr. Gwen Petrone explains. Military discipline, stoic philosophy, and lived experience—combined. 🏋️♂️
7/ Let’s not ignore the societal stakes. Support from loved ones can make or break us. Both Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood credit strong family ties with enabling their growth. Not everyone is this lucky. Many live with loneliness & fear.
8/ So, how can you help? Offer micro-validations: that smile, kind word, or compliment changes lives. You never know someone’s full story; your positivity could be their turning point. #InclusionMatters
9/ For those questioning their identity, Dr. Gwen urges patience and self-kindness. Find your people—online, in communities, in supportive podcasts like Inclusion Bites. Exploring yourself is a journey, not a test.
10/ And for allies? True tolerance is seeing people for their essence, not expecting agreement on everything. Compliment. Encourage. Hold space. Judgement-free energy goes a long way.
11/ Final thought: “Everybody needs to be cut a break once in a while,” says Dr. Gwen Petrone. Imagine if we greeted each other as fellow humans, not as boxes to tick or labels to judge.
12/ Listen to this compelling episode for deep insight on transforming fear into power and how embracing authenticity can inspire us all:
🔗 https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #Belonging #DiversityAndInclusion
If this resonated, retweet to spark more inclusive conversations! 🔄💬
Guest's content for their marketing
Harnessing Fear as a Superpower: Reflections on My Inclusion Bites Podcast Experience
I recently had the pleasure of joining Inclusion Bites, the changemaker’s podcast hosted by Joanne Lockwood, for a powerful conversation around the theme “Fear as a Superpower”. As a former US Marine sergeant, author, gender diversity coach, and someone who’s walked—and continues to walk—the path of authentic self-discovery, this conversation proved both cathartic and inspiring.
The heart of our discussion centred on my lived reality: that fear, so often seen as a barrier, can be transformed into a founding pillar of resilience and growth. I shared my journey, beginning with my days in the US Marine Corps, through my professional life, and into the deeply personal terrain of gender identity and dysphoria. My “superpower” of seeing fear in slow motion—a concept I developed from years of high-pressure environments—allows me to repurpose anxiety and self-doubt into catalysts for self-belief and positive action.
Stigma, Resilience, and Authenticity
During the episode, Joanne and I explored the nuanced challenges faced by trans and gender-diverse people, drawing particularly on the emotional toll of dysphoria, societal expectations, and systemic barriers. We spoke candidly about the concept of the “terror barrier”—that internal threshold which appears immense until we step through it, only to find it’s paper thin on the other side. Yet, as I emphasised, pushing through one comfort zone only reveals the next, and true growth is a continual expansion rather than a one-off victory.
We also examined the stoic philosophy that underpins my approach to fear. By systematically facing and “domesticating” our anxieties, we reclaim agency and chip away at the shame and stigma that so often prevents us from living authentically. I shared practical techniques from my book, Dysphoria Hacks, such as the “pressure valve” method—allowing difficult feelings to be released gradually and safely rather than building towards crisis.
Community, Connection, and Personal Integration
One of the podcast’s most illuminating exchanges revolved around the importance of authenticity—not only for personal wellbeing but for promoting greater understanding within our communities. We discussed the loneliness that can come with standing apart, the importance of supportive relationships, and the ongoing process of integrating all aspects of oneself—whether drawing strength from both masculine and feminine traits or simply honouring one’s own complex humanity.
Through honest dialogue with Joanne, we unpacked the media’s stereotypes and misconceptions, stressing the importance of visibility, everyday kindness, and micro-validations in fostering a more inclusive world.
Key Takeaways for My Network
Fear can be reframed as a resource. By learning to analyse, slow down, and consciously respond to situations, we can use it as a tool for personal and professional development.
Authenticity is not just about visibility—it’s about shedding the burden of double lives, embracing integration, and breaking cycles of internalised shame.
Small acts of support—compliments, smiles, genuine interest—can be life-changing.
Community sustains us. Whether through one-to-one connections or larger networks, mutual understanding is fostered by shared experience and open conversation.
It was an absolute privilege to share my storey on Inclusion Bites. If you are an advocate, an ally, an HR leader or simply someone navigating your own journey, I invite you to listen to the episode and reflect on how you can transform fear into your own superpower.
For a deeper dive into my philosophy and for practical guidance, visit dysphoriahacks.com, connect with me on Facebook or Instagram, and look out for my latest digital resources and updates.
Let’s keep the conversation alive—and remember: your greatest strength may well lie on the other side of your greatest fear.
Pain Points and Challenges
Certainly. The episode "Fear as a Superpower" from Inclusion Bites shines a spotlight on a number of pain points and enduring challenges encountered by gender-diverse individuals, particularly in navigating personal authenticity, societal norms, and institutional barriers. Below, you will find both a summary of these challenges as described by Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood, and guidance on addressing each issue, drawing from their lived experience and practical insight.
Key Pain Points & Challenges
Fear of Authenticity and "Coming Out"
Many experience paralysing fear about revealing their authentic selves, hindered by anxiety over societal rejection, loss of relationships, or professional setbacks.
"Terror barriers" are recurring; each step towards authenticity brings new apprehension.
Societal and Media-Driven Misconceptions
Persistent stereotypes and misinformation—especially via media—lead to public misunderstanding of trans identities, exacerbating stigma and isolation.
Loneliness and Social Isolation
A chronic sense of loneliness, even when surrounded by people, as described by gender diverse individuals who struggle to form meaningful, authentic relationships.
Navigating Bureaucratic and Institutional Obstacles
Changing gender markers on identification or accessing gender-affirming healthcare is often blocked by local policies or new legislation, especially in certain regions.
Institutional denial (e.g., hospitals refusing procedures based on gender markers) impacts both emotional wellbeing and physical health access.
Developing Resilience Whilst Managing Dysphoria
The pressure of gender dysphoria, alongside PTSD or other mental health challenges, can be overwhelming for trans and non-binary people, particularly without robust coping mechanisms.
The Burden of Representation
Trans individuals often feel an additional responsibility to 'represent' their community positively or to educate others, which can become emotionally exhausting.
Polarisation and the Loss of Constructive Dialogue
Society's increasing polarisation (fuelled by social media algorithms) hinders empathy and makes nuanced conversation about identity more difficult.
Addressing These Issues: Guidance and Strategies
1. Reframing Fear as Empowerment
Cultivate 'Slow-Motion' Fear Analysis: Inspired by Dr. Gwen Petrone's method, learn to pause and dissect moments of fear, turning anxiety into an analytical tool. This reduces its emotional charge and enhances clarity.
Exposure and Stoicism: Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger fear—carefully, and with support—so they become less overwhelming over time.
2. Combatting Stereotypes and Seeking Authentic Connections
Prioritise Authenticity: Both Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone emphasise that being one, genuine version of yourself, free from unnecessary filters or editing, allows true relationships and acceptance to flourish.
Storytelling and Visibility: Share lived experience, whether in one-on-one settings or public fora, to challenge misconceptions directly and offer real narratives alongside media portrayals.
3. Tackling Loneliness
Build Supportive Networks: Seek out or establish peer groups—whether physical or virtual—that centre authentic sharing. Celebrate both differences and commonalities.
Micro-Validations: As mentioned by Joanne Lockwood, even small gestures of kindness and acknowledgement in daily life can significantly offset feelings of isolation.
4. Navigating Legal and Institutional Hurdles
Know Your Rights: Stay informed about local policies on IDs, healthcare, and legal rights. Seek legal or advocacy support if blocked by bureaucracy.
Document Everything: Especially when pursuing name or marker changes, keep thorough records and consult with professionals who specialise in trans legal matters.
5. Strengthening Resilience and Managing Dysphoria
Develop a ‘Pressure Valve’: Use emotional regulation techniques, such as controlled expression (journaling, creative arts, safe spaces), to avoid emotional "explosions".
Professional Support and Peer Advice: Engage with mental health professionals or peer mentors with relevant expertise.
6. Balancing the Burden of Representation
Set Boundaries: Accept that you are not responsible for everyone’s education. Choose when and how to advocate for your community, ensuring you prioritise your own wellbeing.
Model Nuanced Living: Display both strengths and vulnerabilities—this genuine self-presentation dispels myths more effectively than perfection.
7. Fostering Constructive Dialogue Amidst Polarisation
Engage with Curiosity: Use open-ended questions and empathy when confronted with ignorance or hostility—move away from ‘winning’ debates and towards mutual understanding.
Broaden Horizons: Seek cross-community exchanges and international perspectives to challenge echo chambers and promote growth.
Final Thought:
The pathway to inclusion and belonging is neither linear nor quick. However, the wisdom of those who have walked it—like Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood—offers pragmatic hope. By reframing fear, insisting on authenticity, building resilient networks, and staying vigilant against polarising narratives, genuine inclusion is not only possible, but inevitable.
For more episodes and insights, listeners are encouraged to subscribe to Inclusion Bites or contact jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk to continue the dialogue.
Questions Asked that were insightful
Certainly—several questions during this episode of Inclusion Bites elicited deeply thought-provoking and insightful responses, making them ideal for a listener-facing FAQ series. Below are examples of such questions, along with a summary of the nuanced responses given. These could each stand alone as a valuable FAQ for your audience:
1. What does it mean to see “fear in slow motion,” and can everyone learn this skill?
Joanne Lockwood asked Dr. Gwen Petrone about her self-described superpower, “seeing fear in slow motion,” likening it to the film The Matrix.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone explained that this ability is rooted in both her nature and military training. She elaborated on how, through desensitisation and structured exposure, she learnt not to react instinctively to fear but instead to pause, analyse, and repurpose that energy into focus and strength. She stressed this skill could be cultivated, drawing parallels with sports performance and business leadership.
2. How can individuals ‘domesticate’ fear in practice, especially in relation to identity?
Joanne Lockwood probed further into how Dr. Gwen Petrone herself manages fear, especially relating to gender identity and dysphoria.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone introduced the concept of “domesticating fear,” describing practical techniques for gradually lessening its power—such as intentionally exposing oneself to anxiety-provoking situations in manageable increments. She likened it to a “pressure valve,” insisting that regularly releasing emotional pressure safely is essential for wellbeing.
3. What advice is there for people questioning their gender or experiencing dysphoria?
This was specifically addressed in the advice section towards the close of the conversation.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone advocated patience and self-acceptance—“don’t deny it.” She described gender identity as a seed responding to ‘the law of gestation’; one must allow time for self-discovery without undue pressure. She further recommended finding supportive groups (e.g., meetups) and considering wider life circumstances, such as relationships and practicalities, before making significant decisions.
4. How can allies best support trans and gender-diverse people?
Joanne Lockwood invited input on how allies—whether friends, colleagues, or even strangers—can provide meaningful support.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone urged allies to practice genuine tolerance, which is more than passive acceptance; it involves seeing the individual, cutting people a break, and offering micro-validations (small compliments or positive acknowledgements) as these can powerfully uplift someone who may be struggling. She stressed the importance of not basing support solely on agreement or sameness, but on real empathy.
5. What are the risks and realities of living openly as a trans person, particularly in regions perceived as hostile?
Joanne Lockwood queried day-to-day realities of being trans, with specific reference to Florida’s legal and social landscape.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone provided a balanced perspective—stating her personal experiences have been largely positive, provided one “carries themselves with confidence” and seeks not to anticipate negativity. However, she frankly acknowledged legal obstacles, such as recent restrictions on updating identity documents and accessing healthcare, pointing out the practical impact of legislative change.
6. Is there value in merging aspects of one’s pre-transition or assigned identity with an affirmed identity?
A particularly insightful tangent considered the integration of elements from both male and female aspects of identity.
Response Highlight:
Dr. Gwen Petrone shared that embracing positive traits from her former male self enhanced her authenticity and overall sense of self, rather than seeking to erase her past. This holistic approach to identity resonated as a recurring theme, suggesting strength in integration rather than division.
If offering these FAQs to listeners, each could be expanded with a quote from the episode and practical takeaways. This would give audience members, regardless of their own background or reason for listening, immediate value and actionable insight sparked by the conversation between Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone.
Blog article based on the episode
Fear as a Superpower: Transforming Vulnerability into Strength
What if the very thing you fear the most is the most powerful tool you’ve ever had? Imagine a life where your deepest anxieties, those moments that send your heart pounding and your mind racing, could be slow-motion catalysts for strength, clarity, and authenticity. This is not just a philosophical proposition but the core revelation from the latest episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, “Fear as a Superpower,” featuring the inspiring Dr. Gwen Petrone.
The Hidden Alchemy of Fear
At the heart of the episode, Dr. Gwen Petrone—former US Marine sergeant, author, and transformation coach—articulates a truth often lost in the binary language of “fight or flight”: fear does not have to be the opponent; it can be an ally. Whether caused by societal pressure, dysphoria, or the apprehension of embracing your identity, fear is ubiquitous. The problem is not the existence of fear but the way it is managed, or, as is often the case, the way it is allowed to manage us.
In her own words, Dr. Gwen Petrone reveals her superpower to be the ability to “see fear in slow motion.” This unique perspective is reminiscent of ‘The Matrix’—an ability to witness the bullet of fear in flight, time seemingly suspended, offering a chance to respond thoughtfully rather than merely react instinctively.
Problem: Paralysis by Fear
Why is fear so crippling? For many, fear is rooted in the unknown: humiliation, rejection, the terror barrier of “what happens next.” For those navigating gender identity and dysphoria, this is amplified by social expectations, the longing for authenticity, and the risk of loneliness or rejection, even by family. Joanne Lockwood, host and herself a trans woman, recognises this: “Most humans, in my understanding, have a fear of the unknown… People are worried, anxious about being humiliated, being rejected, being all these things.”
Fear, left unchecked, pressures an individual much like steam in a sealed system; it demands release. Without a “pressure valve”, it erupts. Dr. Gwen Petrone describes the problem of internalised dysphoria and fear, noting the devastating outcome for many—sometimes resulting in self-harm or even suicide, an issue she’s witnessed among both trans and veteran populations. The absence of safe release and healthy processing leads to emotional paralysis, inauthenticity, and isolation.
Solution: Domesticating and Repurposing Fear
But what if, instead of fleeing from fear, you were to domesticate it?
1. Slow Down and Observe
Drawing from her military training, Dr. Gwen Petrone discusses systematic desensitisation—a process used in the Marines and sports alike—to gradually reframe one’s reactions. “You learn, analyse the situation, see what’s really happening, and then you understand what’s happening to be able to repurpose it.” Instead of letting the limbic, fight-or-flight response dominate, slow down. Notice the emotion as if in slow motion. This transforms fear from a blinding threat into usable information.
2. The Pressure Valve Technique
A pragmatic, actionable tool described by Dr. Gwen Petrone is the “pressure valve” approach. Much like a plumber prevents pipes from bursting, you must find ways to ‘let off steam’ safely—be it through self-expression, creativity, or seeking affirming environments—so fear does not reach a destructive crescendo.
3. Expand and Test Your Comfort Zone
Both Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood agree: growth comes from running towards fear in manageable increments. The military and the philosophy of Stoicism both teach the value of repeated exposure. “Do as much of what scares you so this way, when something else happens, you’re like: if I did that, I could do this.” Small actions—coming out to a friend, experimenting with authentic self-expression, seeking support groups—expand the boundaries of courage and resilience.
4. Pursue Authenticity
The antidote to perpetual internal division? Accepting the complexity of the self and embracing authenticity. Both speakers reflect on the peace found when the internal narrative resolves into a coherent, single voice. Joanne Lockwood powerfully articulates, “When I aligned, my head became really quiet… This is my Matrix moment. I see the world clearly now.”
5. Community and Connection
Transformation cannot occur in isolation. Seek out connections—whether in digital communities or physical gatherings—where empathy, shared experience, and non-judgement prevail. Both Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood cite the life-affirming value of supportive relationships in making the journey from fear to confidence.
Actionable Steps to Make Fear Your Superpower
Acknowledge Fear: Start by not denying its existence; instead, accept that it’s present to teach and guide you.
Find Your ‘Pressure Valves’: Identify safe outlets for your emotions, such as writing, art, movement, or conversation with trusted people.
Take Incremental Risks: Regularly step outside your comfort zone, whether socially, professionally, or personally. Each step grows your capacity.
Seek Community: Join support networks—whether physical or virtual—to break the silence and dissolve the loneliness that fear can bring.
Practise Self-Compassion: Allow yourself to be in flux; ‘gestation’ takes time, sometimes decades. Progress is not always linear.
Contribute to Others’ Journeys: Offer micro-validations to others. A kind word, a compliment, a smile — you never know the burden someone is carrying.
Advocate for Systemic Change: Challenge norms, question policies that add unnecessary barriers, and champion inclusivity wherever you have influence.
Call to Action: Ignite Inclusion, One Bold Conversation at a Time
The story and wisdom of Dr. Gwen Petrone remind us: fear is not the enemy, and we are not alone. Fear, when reimagined as a superpower, can become the driving force behind authenticity, growth, and resilience. It requires courage to slow down, observe, and repurpose our deepest anxieties. But each step you take towards your own truth — and each affirmation you give another — is a blow against the terror barrier, a win for inclusion.
Are you ready to transform your relationship with fear? Listen to the full conversation on “Fear as a Superpower” at the Inclusion Bites Podcast. Reach out, join the dialogue, and help ignite positive change. In a world wracked by division, let’s be the ones who slow down, connect, and inspire — one bold bite at a time.
For more insights and support, follow Dr. Gwen Petrone on her platforms, or reach out to Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk. Inclusion is not a destination but a collective journey. Take your step today.
The standout line from this episode
The standout line from this episode is:
"You have to have the knowledge and the willingness to get rid of old things and old thoughts and beliefs that maybe don't service you anymore, so you make room for the new stuff to come in that have maybe been updated, that you’re like, 'Oh, I never thought of it that way.'" – Dr. Gwen Petrone
This succinctly captures the episode’s core theme of transforming fear and growing through openness and self-reflection.
❓ Questions
Certainly! Here are 10 discussion questions based on this episode of Inclusion Bites, "Fear as a Superpower," featuring Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone:
How does Dr. Gwen Petrone describe her ability to "see fear in slow motion," and in what ways has this become a superpower in her personal and professional life?
What parallels can be drawn between Dr. Gwen Petrone’s experience in the military and her journey through gender identity and dysphoria, particularly regarding resilience and emotional regulation?
In the conversation, the importance of authenticity is discussed. How do both Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone view authenticity in the context of transitioning and living openly as oneself?
The episode introduces the concept of the “terror barrier.” How does repeatedly confronting and overcoming fears enable personal growth, according to the speakers?
Dr. Gwen Petrone references the idea of “domesticating fear” rather than allowing it to dominate one’s life. What techniques or mindsets are suggested for achieving this?
How do social constructs and societal expectations impact the process of gender identity exploration and acceptance, as described in the podcast?
The discussion covers the notion of “micro-validations.” How do small affirming gestures influence someone’s mental health and sense of belonging, particularly for trans and gender diverse individuals?
Both guests mention the challenge of loneliness within the trans community. What strategies do they suggest for combating isolation and building meaningful connections?
The podcast touches on recent legislative and cultural challenges for trans people, especially in Florida and the US. How does this landscape affect access to healthcare, legal recognition, and daily life?
How can allies—friends, family, colleagues, or strangers—extend meaningful support to those exploring their gender identity? What are some practical behaviours or attitudes recommended in the conversation?
These questions are designed to provoke thoughtful conversation and deepen understanding around fear, resilience, belonging, and the pursuit of authenticity in the context of gender diversity.
FAQs from the Episode
FAQ: Fear as a Superpower – Inclusion Bites Podcast, Episode 210
1. What does it mean to use "fear as a superpower"?
Using fear as a superpower, as described by Dr. Gwen Petrone, refers to developing the ability to see fear not as an inhibiting force but as energy that can be understood, slowed down, and repurposed for growth. Techniques such as analysing one's reactions, learning to desensitise oneself through repeated exposure, and adopting a calm, rational approach in the face of fear allow individuals to harness its energy for clarity, strength, and personal development.
2. How does Dr. Gwen Petrone's background influence her approach to fear and resilience?
Dr. Gwen Petrone is a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach. Her military experience, particularly in high-stress technical roles, provided rigorous training in managing stress and fear, enabling her to remain analytical and unemotional in crisis situations. She has reflected on this training in her work, applying the same principles to help individuals, especially within gender-diverse communities, reframe and manage dysphoria and anxiety.
3. What is the "pressure valve technique" and how does it help with managing dysphoria?
The pressure valve technique, discussed by Dr. Gwen Petrone, is a self-regulation strategy for those experiencing dysphoria or intense internal pressure. The concept likens dysphoria to steam building within a sealed system; without an outlet, this pressure can lead to harm. By finding healthy ways to "let off steam"—such as expressing one's authentic self in a safe context—individuals can reduce internal tension and avoid emotional explosions.
4. What role do authenticity and social acceptance play in personal wellbeing?
Both Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone highlighted that authenticity—the state of embracing and expressing one’s true identity—is crucial for mental wellbeing. Social acceptance supports this, but finding self-acceptance and being authentic relieves internal conflict and the exhaustion of masking one's identity. The clarity and peace that follow enable individuals to thrive.
5. How is fear related to gender identity and transition?
For many gender-diverse individuals, fear often centres around rejection, ridicule, loneliness, or losing emotional connections. Dr. Gwen Petrone describes the journey through barriers of fear as one involving repeated encounters—each time the individual expands their comfort zone and builds resilience. Social fears, such as not fitting in or being accepted, can be profound but are often not as daunting as anticipated once action is taken.
6. What insights does the episode provide for people questioning their gender or supporting others?
People questioning their gender are encouraged to be patient and allow self-discovery to unfold at its own pace (the “law of gestation”). Finding community through support groups or peer interaction can be life-changing, allowing space for exploration, questions, and validation. For allies, the recommendation is to show tolerance, offer micro-validations (small affirmations), and to see the whole person rather than just their gender or differences.
7. What advice is there for coping with loneliness or isolation as a trans or gender-diverse person?
Both speakers acknowledge that loneliness can be acute, particularly for trans and gender-diverse individuals. Building or accessing supportive social circles, connecting with others with similar experiences, and finding trusted friends are essential for combating isolation. Occasional gatherings or meet-ups, even if only a few times a year, can provide meaningful affirmation and reduce feelings of isolation.
8. How does the external environment (e.g., legislation, media, social expectations) affect trans people’s everyday lives?
The episode discusses challenges, including restrictive laws in places like Florida, media-driven misconceptions, and societal stereotypes. Dr. Gwen Petrone notes that most people simply wish to “live and let live”, but legal and social barriers can impact vital aspects such as health care. Nevertheless, day-to-day experiences are often shaped more by individual interactions and attitudes than by negative media narratives.
9. What practical strategies are suggested for building fear resilience?
Regular exposure to feared situations (gradual desensitisation)
Viewing fear as an energy that can be repurposed
Practising stoic philosophies (doing difficult things to build resilience)
Analysing situations calmly and rationally
Cultivating supportive relationships
10. Where can listeners learn more about Dr. Gwen Petrone's methods and insights?
Listeners can find Dr. Gwen Petrone's book “Dysphoria Hacks” and her companion workbook “Semper Fi to Semper Femme” at dysphoriahacks.com. She is also active on Facebook (Gwen Petrone) and shares her coaching, writing, and upcoming cooking channel “Culinary and Cleavage” on various social media platforms.
For further episodes and key conversations on inclusion, visit the Inclusion Bites Podcast, or contact Joanne Lockwood at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Tell me more about the guest and their views
The guest for this episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast is Dr. Gwen Petrone, a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach. She describes herself as someone who supports gender-diverse individuals in transforming fear, anxiety, and dysphoria into strengths that foster resilience and self-belief.
Background and Lived Experience
Dr. Gwen Petrone draws extensively on her military background, having worked in a technical (cryptographic electronics) field within the US Marine Corps. Her time in service honed her ability to remain calm and analytical under pressure—what she describes as “seeing fear in slow motion”, likening this to the famous ‘Matrix moment’ where adversity is perceived in a way that permits rational, strategic responses rather than uncontrolled emotional reaction.
Dr. Gwen Petrone is very open about her experience of being trans and about the lengthy journey towards embracing her authentic self. She describes her own journey as taking decades, reflecting on how, in her youth (1970s), there was no language or supportive environment for understanding her gender identity. Like many, she compartmentalised these feelings until life circumstances later allowed her to explore and accept her identity more fully. Key turning points included the support of her wife and reconnecting with her suppressed sense of self after many years.
Views on Fear and Resilience
One of Dr. Gwen Petrone’s central themes is the idea of ‘domesticating fear’—not eradicating it, but learning to master and repurpose it. She suggests that systematically confronting fears allows one to desensitise and ultimately use fear as a catalyst for personal growth. Her metaphor of the “terror barrier” is powerful: the initial fear of embracing one’s identity can feel overwhelming but is often ‘paper thin’ in hindsight. Dr. Gwen Petrone emphasises that these barriers are continual, but every breakthrough expands one’s comfort zone and builds resilience.
She applies this outlook to both her support for trans and gender-diverse people, and for veterans experiencing PTSD, stressing that the same underlying approaches—acceptance, incremental exposure, and self-compassion—can help reduce the overwhelm that fear engenders.
Approach to Inclusion and Authenticity
Dr. Gwen Petrone holds authenticity as a core value, advocating for individuals to live openly as themselves. She critiques the pressure to edit or mask oneself (using examples like face tuning and social media), encouraging instead a ‘warts and all’ approach to public life. She relates that, after her own full alignment, the greatest benefit was the peace and clarity of having “one voice in my head”—no longer splitting identity across situations.
Additionally, Dr. Gwen Petrone recognises that authenticity can come with risks—especially the threat of loneliness or exclusion—but affirms that shedding inauthentic connections is necessary to gain genuine, supportive relationships and a full sense of self-worth.
Guidance for Others
In her mentoring, Dr. Gwen Petrone counsels questioning and gender-diverse people to explore their identities patiently, using supportive groups for connection, and to be mindful of personal circumstances such as relationships and material security. She also encourages ‘allies’ not simply to “tolerate” but to truly see and engage with people’s essence, extending compassion, small kindnesses, and validation as powerful supports.
Broader Reflections
Dr. Gwen Petrone comments on the challenges of visibility and misconceptions faced by trans people, especially in environments where political shifts restrict rights and access (e.g., in Florida, with changing laws around identifying documents and medical care). Despite this, she notes her generally positive day-to-day experiences, attributing much to her own outlook: entering spaces with confidence, expecting goodwill, and choosing not to dwell on unintended slights.
She critiques broader social tendencies toward polarisation, urging for dialogue and mutual understanding, and frames personal and societal progress as a continual process of openness, growth, and letting go of outdated beliefs.
Summary
Dr. Gwen Petrone is an articulate advocate for fearless authenticity, resilience, and the power of human connection. Her approach blends practical strategies from lived experience, philosophical reflection, and an inclusive, hopeful vision for societal transformation.
Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode
Based on the insights and themes explored in the “Fear as a Superpower” episode, here are tailored ideas for impactful training and workshops:
1. Harnessing Fear for Resilience
Focus:
Explore practical frameworks for understanding, reframing, and leveraging fear in professional and personal contexts. Inspired by Dr. Gwen Petrone’s “seeing fear in slow motion” methodology.
Content Ideas:
Techniques to desensitise and “domesticate” fear
Recognising the difference between real and perceived threats
Pressure valve exercises for stress management
Guided self-reflection: From survival instincts to strategic responses
2. Authenticity and Identity in the Workplace
Focus:
Support participants to embrace authenticity, drawing from discussions on the importance of “one voice, one thought, one me” (Joanne Lockwood) and how revealing one’s true self impacts wellbeing and performance.
Content Ideas:
Roleplay: The cost of inauthenticity vs. the power of alignment
Panel discussion with individuals at different stages of identity acceptance
Micro-validations: How small acts create belonging
Practical steps for inclusive leadership to recognise and support authenticity
3. Supporting Gender Diverse Individuals: Beyond Lip Service
Focus:
Train allies, HR, and managers to offer meaningful support for gender diverse people, transforming tolerant workplaces into inclusive communities.
Content Ideas:
Real-world scenarios: What to say and do (or not say/do)
The impact of micro-affirmations and “catching people in”
Understanding the risk and emotional landscape – practical empathy
Barriers to authenticity and how to help lower them
4. Stoicism, Resilience, and Personal Growth
Focus:
Integrate elements of stoic philosophy for developing resilience, as referenced by Dr. Gwen Petrone, including reframing adversity and failure.
Content Ideas:
The “terror barrier”: Facing and normalising discomfort
Habitual exposure to challenge as resilience-building
Journalling and reflective practice for growth
5. The Power of Inclusive Storytelling
Focus:
Help teams and leaders craft and share their narratives to drive connection, combating loneliness and isolation (as discussed around “internal loneliness” and the role of community).
Content Ideas:
Story-sharing circles within organisations
Writing and video diaries for self-expression
Cultivating “micro-communities” or buddy systems for ongoing support
Training on challenging stereotypes and changing perceptions
6. Empathy in Action: Building Skills for Human-Centred Leadership
Focus:
Translate the episode’s lessons on energy, body language, and presence into leadership practice.
Content Ideas:
Reading and responding to emotional cues
Using positive energy and expectation to shape interactions
Encouraging vulnerability and “seeing the person, not the label”
7. Social Media, Critical Thinking, and the Inclusive Mindset
Focus:
Deep-dive into the role of social media, polarisation, and digital resilience, as discussed towards the episode's conclusion.
Content Ideas:
Navigating online spaces as an individual and ally
Strategies for digital self-care
Techniques for critical thinking and seeing beyond algorithm-driven echo chambers
Facilitated debates on topical issues to practise respectful disagreement
These workshops can be tailored as single sessions or developed into modular programmes—each underpinned by practical exercises, storytelling, and opportunities for reflective discussion. Each idea aligns with themes of inclusion, lived experience, and proactive culture change, mirroring the nuanced narratives in this episode.
For bespoke workshop development or to invite Joanne Lockwood or Dr. Gwen Petrone as contributors, reach out via the Inclusion Bites contact details or visit Inclusion Bites Podcast.
🪡 Threads by Instagram
Fear isn't always the enemy. Dr. Gwen Petrone reframes fear, teaching us to domesticate it—not to avoid it, but to use it as fuel for clarity, strength and growth. Where could you turn your own fear into a superpower today?
Authenticity is powerful. Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone both found true belonging by living as one integrated self—not switching identities for others, but embracing who they are, unapologetically.
Supporting those exploring gender identity? Dr. Gwen Petrone suggests kindness and micro-validations: a compliment, a smile, a moment of humanity. We never know which moment could change someone’s world.
Stoicism for self-growth—Dr. Gwen Petrone reminds us that pushing through discomfort, rather than avoiding it, builds resilience. Avoiding fear can make it the master; facing it helps you take control.
Want to foster inclusion? Joanne Lockwood says it starts with honest conversations, seeing beyond media myths, and embracing authentic human connection. Inclusion is built one real story—and one open mind—at a time.
Leadership Insights - YouTube Short Video Script on Common Problems for Leaders to Address
Leadership Insights Channel
Are you a leader struggling with fear of making the wrong decisions or feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty? Here’s the problem: fear often stops us from taking action, paralysing us and shrinking our confidence.
But what if you could turn fear into a superpower?
Here’s what to do:
Acknowledge Fear: Recognise when fear arises. Don’t deny it—see it as useful data instead of a stop sign.
Slow Down: Just like high-performing leaders and athletes, pause when the pressure builds. Slow your thinking, and don’t rush a reaction. This lets you respond, not just react.
Reframe Your Perspective: Ask yourself, “What’s really worrying me? Am I afraid of rejection, failure, or looking bad?” By making fear visible, it loses its grip.
Take Controlled Action: Start small—face minor fears first. The more you practise confronting the unknown, the stronger your resilience becomes.
Leaders who embrace and reframe their fear build real confidence and authenticity. They inspire trust and create environments where growth thrives.
Channel your fear. Make it your ally. That’s how true leaders grow.
SEO Optimised Titles
Fear as a Superpower | How Marines and CEOs Build Resilience and Authenticity | Gwen @ Dysphoria Hacks
From Dysphoria to Strength | Overcoming the Terror Barrier and Embracing Authentic Living | Gwen @ Dysphoria Hacks
6,000 Veteran Suicides a Year | Turning Trauma, Loneliness and Anxiety into Growth | Gwen @ Dysphoria Hacks
Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode
Subject: Why Fear Might Be Your Next Superpower — Catch The Latest Inclusion Bites!
Hello Inclusion Bites Family,
Ready to be inspired? If you haven’t tuned in yet, this week’s episode is an absolute must-listen! Joanne Lockwood welcomes the brilliant Dr. Gwen Petrone (former US Marine, author, and coach) to explore “Fear as a Superpower.” This isn’t just another chat about courage – it’s a deep dive into how fear, anxiety, and even dysphoria can be transformed into strengths that shape true resilience. Expect honest stories, a few laughs, and some actionable wisdom.
Here’s what you’ll walk away with from this episode:
1. How to Domesticate Your Fears:
Forget running away from what scares you. Discover what it means to ‘see fear in slow motion’—a skill Dr. Gwen Petrone honed in the Marines and now teaches to people navigating gender, anxiety, or the unknown.
2. Tapping Into Your Authentic Self:
Wrestling with identity? Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone discuss why embracing and expressing your true self is more liberating than any fake online persona.
3. The Power of Micro-Validation:
Small gestures can change someone’s day (or even save a life). Learn how a simple compliment or smile can break barriers and dissolve loneliness.
4. Navigating Life’s “Terror Barriers”:
Ever felt stuck on the edge of a big decision? Discover strategies for breaking through these moments of fear and finding clarity and growth on the other side.
5. Resilience in a Noisy World:
With social media fuelling anxiety and polarisation, Dr. Gwen Petrone explains why we need to build real-world resilience—not just retreat into digital echo chambers.
A Unique Nugget from the Episode:
Did you know that Dr. Gwen Petrone’s journey was reignited when she dressed as her authentic self for a Halloween party…and suddenly remembered a part of herself she’d ‘forgotten’ for 45 years? Proof that self-discovery can spark at any age and in the most unexpected moments.
Your Turn to Be Part of This Conversation!
Listen to the episode: Inclusion Bites Podcast – Fear as a Superpower
Got questions, thoughts, or a story to share? Joanne would love to hear from you — just drop her a note at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk, or reach out if you’d like to join the show.
Let’s disrupt the norms, challenge the status quo, and spark positive change—one conversation at a time.
Stay bold,
Team Inclusion Bites
P.S. Share this episode with a friend who’s facing a ‘terror barrier’ or needs a reminder that authenticity is strength. Let’s amplify real voices together! #InclusionBites
Potted Summary
Episode Summary
In this episode of Inclusion Bites, Joanne Lockwood is joined by Dr. Gwen Petrone, a former US Marine sergeant and author, to explore the concept of fear as a superpower. Together, they discuss how fear, dysphoria, and authenticity intertwine in the lives of gender-diverse individuals, sharing personal journeys and practical strategies for transforming self-doubt and anxiety into strength, clarity, and personal growth.
In this conversation we discuss
👉 Fear in slow motion
👉 The terror barrier
👉 Authenticity matters
Here are a few of our favourite quotable moments
“You can systematically get what you don't want in you, out of you, and more control it. It'll always be there, but you control it.” — Dr. Gwen Petrone
“I didn't want to gender transition to become somebody else. I wanted to gender transition to become myself.” — Joanne Lockwood
“Changing perceptions one person at a time is one of my goals.” — Dr. Gwen Petrone
Episode Takeaway
Don't miss this compelling episode as Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone reveal how facing and reframing fear leads to growth and true belonging. Tune in and be inspired to use your own vulnerability as a catalyst for change. Listen now at Inclusion Bites.
LinkedIn Poll
Opening Summary for LinkedIn Poll:
This week on the Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood is joined by Dr. Gwen Petrone for a powerful discussion on the theme “Fear as a Superpower”. The conversation dives into how fear, often viewed as a barrier, can be transformed into a catalyst for growth, resilience, and authenticity—whether that’s overcoming “terror barriers”, embracing identity, or supporting others on their journeys. Drawing from lived experience and practical wisdom, the episode encourages us all to reflect on our relationship with fear—and the ways we turn challenge into opportunity.
Poll Question:
How do you most commonly channel your fears into something positive?
#InclusionBites #Belonging #Resilience #Diversity
Poll Options (each with an emoji):
🌱 Personal growth & learning
👐 Supporting others
🧘♀️ Mindfulness & self-care
🏃♂️ Taking bold action
Closing "Why Vote":
Your experience matters! By sharing how you transform fear, you’ll help highlight the diverse strategies our community uses to turn vulnerabilities into strengths. Let’s inspire one another and create a more inclusive space for every journey.
Highlight the Importance of this topic on LinkedIn
Absolutely compelling episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast: “Fear as a Superpower” with Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood! 🎙️✨
Why is this conversation vital for HR and EDI professionals?
💡 Authenticity & Vulnerability
Both speakers highlighted the liberating power of authenticity—reminding us all that cultivating environments where people feel safe to be themselves isn’t just good for individuals, it’s essential for business growth and resilience.
🔥 Fear into Strength
Dr. Gwen Petrone spoke powerfully about reframing fear, using military and real-life experience to show how the emotions we often avoid can be domesticated and transformed into clarity and decision-making strength.
🌈 The Cost of Conformity
The episode shed light on the emotional toll of “having to fake it,” especially for gender diverse colleagues. The alignment between inner identity and external persona fosters engagement, creativity, and wellbeing—which must be priorities for all leaders.
🤝 The Importance of Micro-Validations
A simple compliment or act of kindness can change someone’s day, or their life. As leaders, our everyday actions set the cultural tone.
🔗 The sector must move beyond policies and into real human connection. Let’s champion inclusion—not just as a compliance box, but as a superpower for individuals AND organisations.
Highly recommend this episode to all people leaders who want to deepen their understanding and create safer, braver, and more purposeful workplaces.
➡️ Listen here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #FearAsSuperpower #InclusiveLeadership #PsychologicalSafety #EDI #HR #BeTheChange
L&D Insights
Insights for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI Professionals from Inclusion Bites Podcast: “Fear as a Superpower”
Key Takeaways
Fear is a Resource, Not a Barrier
Dr. Gwen Petrone’s central metaphor—seeing fear “in slow motion”—challenges the prevalent view of fear as purely negative. Instead, it’s reframed here as an asset to be harnessed for personal and organisational growth. Encouraging individuals to “domesticate” fear can foster resilience, analytical thinking, and creative problem-solving in turbulent times.Authenticity Creates Psychological Safety and Loyalty
Repeatedly, both Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone touch on the profound impact of authenticity in the workplace and beyond. The relief and increased effectiveness achieved when individuals stop “masking” and can bring their whole selves to work is a strong argument for inclusion policies that encourage openness—without forcing unwanted disclosure.The Value of Micro-Validations (“Micro-Affirmations”)
Simple, everyday acts of recognition—a compliment, a genuine smile, a show of solidarity—are identified as extremely powerful interventions for those experiencing gender dysphoria or navigating difference. These micro-validations can be transformative, especially when leaders model them, enhancing wellbeing and belonging across teams.The “Terror Barrier” and Resilience Training
A pivotal “aha moment” is the recognition that many organisational or personal terrors (e.g., fear of changing, speaking out, being ‘found out’) are, in reality, “paper thin”. Once breached, they give way to enormous clarity, confidence, and alignment. There’s a clear challenge to build resilience not by eliminating all threat, but by supporting colleagues to gradually desensitise and move through their own terror barriers—mirroring the exposure-based training used in the military.Inclusivity Means Moving Beyond Labels and Stereotypes
The conversations centre the idea that identity is nuanced, non-linear, and may be fluid. Supporting staff means valuing the “spectrum” and actively dismantling rigid boxes. It’s a call to remember intersectionality and the diversity within diversity—what works for one gender-diverse person may feel alienating or irrelevant to another.
Practical Shifts for Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI Professionals
Reframe Fear in Leadership Communication:
Speak openly about fear as a growth lever, not just a hurdle. Reflect on how you acknowledge and address fear when undertaking organisational change or when discussing employee concerns.Cultivate Authenticity:
Audit internal communications, policies, and leadership behaviours for signals that encourage authenticity. Consider: are we providing enough psychological safety for people to truly “show up”, beyond statements of intent?Prioritise Micro-Validations:
Embed micro-affirmations into leadership development and line manager training. Encourage or even formally recognise these positive “nudges” in performance reviews and culture strategies.Develop Resilience-Building Pathways:
Move beyond traditional stress management. Offer growth opportunities that safely challenge comfort zones, perhaps leveraging exposure techniques or action learning sets for EDI topics.Champion Nuanced Inclusion:
Ensure policy language and lived behaviours reflect the complexity of identity. Move away from rigid categories. Engage with resource groups, listen, and design interventions that serve a broad spectrum—consult with the communities in question, don’t presume.
“Aha Moments” to Spark Strategic Rethink
Fear is malleable. With the right approach, it becomes leverage.
Authenticity at work is a multiplier—reducing mental load and creating bandwidth for innovation.
Little actions (“micro-validations”) are the cultural glue for inclusion.
Breaking down personal and organisational terror barriers catalyses transformation more than top-down compliance.
👉 What to do differently?
Stop viewing fear as your enemy. Lead with empathy, vulnerability, and agility.
Ask: How am I making it safe for someone to be authentic today?
Start rewarding and role-modelling micro-affirmations.
Invest in resilience as a strategic capability, not an afterthought.
Reject ‘checkbox diversity’. Be genuinely curious and inclusive.
Hashtags for Social Media
#InclusionBites #FearAsSuperpower #LeadWithEmpathy #BelongingAtWork #MicroAffirmations
🔑 “It’s about growth, not just compliance. Inclusion done right unleashes potential—one authentic, validated person at a time.”
Shorts Video Script
Video Title:
Unlocking Fear: How Facing the Unknown Builds Authentic Strength #InclusionMatters
Text on Screen:
🔥 Transform Fear Into Your Superpower
🤝 Real Talk: Authenticity & Belonging
🛡 Tackling Loneliness & Finding Community
🚦 Micro-Validations That Change Lives
Script:
Have you ever felt fear holding you back from truly being yourself? Let’s talk about turning that fear into your greatest superpower.
We often imagine fear as a wall we can’t cross. But in reality, it’s more like a thin barrier—once you step through, it’s a relief. The real growth happens on the other side.
One powerful technique? Seeing fear in slow motion. Instead of letting your anxiety take over, pause, analyse the situation, and ask yourself: “What am I actually afraid of? Will I be rejected? Or is it just the fear of the unknown?”
That first step feels huge, but it’s also the smallest in hindsight. Push through, little by little, by confronting what scares you—whether it’s expressing your true self or stepping into an unfamiliar space. Growth isn’t about never being scared, it’s about getting comfortable with discomfort, expanding your zone, and finding real clarity.
Authenticity isn’t just for you—it helps those around you discover and accept the real you. People appreciate honesty and vulnerability much more than perfection. And remember—it’s okay to embrace all sides of yourself. You’re allowed to bring forward your strengths, your quirks, and every version of you.
We all need belonging. Loneliness can be a heavy weight, but connecting even with one trusted friend or a group who gets you can make all the difference. And you don’t always need to ‘belong’ to a label—sometimes, everyday life and genuine connections matter most.
Never underestimate the power of small gestures. A compliment, a smile, or even a kind word can genuinely change the course of someone’s day.
Turn your fear into focus, seek community, and above all, be the most authentic version of you—because that’s where true strength and resilience are found.
Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨
Hashtags:
#InclusionMatters #Authenticity #FearIsPower #Belonging #LiveYourTruth
Glossary of Terms and Phrases
# Less Commonly Used Concepts and Phrases from "Fear as a Superpower" — Inclusion Bites Episode 210
Below is a list of words and phrases discussed in this episode that are conceptually rich or not in frequent everyday use, with definitions as implied by the conversation between Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone:
1. **Domesticate Fear**
- The process of systematically training oneself to control and repurpose fear, so it no longer operates as an instinctive barrier but becomes a force for growth and resilience.
2. **Dysphoria**
- Psychological distress or discomfort, particularly referenced in the context of gender dysphoria — the sense of incongruence between one’s gender identity and assigned sex at birth.
3. **Pressure Valve Technique**
- A metaphor for managing overwhelming emotions (especially dysphoria or anxiety) by intermittently releasing emotional “pressure” in healthy ways before it leads to destructive outcomes.
4. **Terror Barrier**
- The figurative threshold of extreme fear or anxiety that one must overcome to achieve personal growth or authenticity; once breached, it frequently appears less daunting in retrospect.
5. **See Fear in Slow Motion**
- The ability to mentally decelerate moments of fear, enabling detailed observation and rational response rather than reactive panic; compared to “bullet time” in *The Matrix*.
6. **Gender Diverse**
- An umbrella term for people whose gender expressions or identities do not conform to traditional societal expectations, including but not limited to transgender and non-binary individuals.
7. **Yin and Yang (in Identity)**
- Used here to describe the blend and interplay of masculine and feminine traits or energetic qualities within an individual’s identity, which may shift over time.
8. **Micro Validations**
- Small, positive acknowledgements or gestures (a smile, a compliment) that affirm someone’s presence or identity, helping to counterbalance the regular experience of microaggressions.
9. **Critical Thinking (in Context of Technology)**
- The engagement of reasoning and analysis in learning, as contrasted with overreliance on digital tools; cited as at risk due to technological outsourcing of thought processes.
10. **Algorithmic Polarisation**
- The concept that social media algorithms reinforce and intensify existing beliefs by showing users only what aligns with their viewpoint, which can lead to greater social division.
11. **Resilience and Bounce-back-ability**
- The learned capacity to recover from adversity, setbacks, or emotional distress, highlighted as particularly necessary for those living with stigmatised identities.
12. **Authenticity (in Transition)**
- The state of aligning external expression and behaviour with one’s internal sense of self, eliminating performative or socially-imposed masks.
13. **Living in Stealth**
- Used contextually to refer to transgender individuals living according to their affirmed gender without disclosing their trans status, often to avoid stigma or discrimination.
14. **Collateral Damage (of Transition)**
- Referencing the unintended but often significant impacts on relationships, finances, and social status that may result from openly transitioning or changing gender presentation.
15. **Law of Gestation**
- A principle cited from universal laws, implying that personal development (for example, one’s authentic gender identity or sense of self) matures and emerges in its own time, without being forced or prematurely excavated.
16. **Meetup Group (as Support)**
- A specifically supportive gathering (in-person or virtual), referenced as vital spaces for gender-diverse individuals to share, explore identity, and find community.
---
These concepts reflect both the technical language of psychological growth and resilience, and the nuanced language of trans and gender-diverse social experiences explored in this episode.SEO Optimised YouTube Content
Focus Keyword: Fear as a Superpower
Video Title
Fear as a Superpower: Harnessing Positive People Experiences for Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags
Tags: fear as a superpower, inclusion bites, positive people experiences, culture change, inclusion podcast, gender diversity, Dr Gwen Petrone, Joanne Lockwood, resilience, stoicism, facing fear, dysphoria hacks, trans authenticity, supportive culture, mental health, overcoming anxiety, thriving at work, authentic self, veteran support, workplace belonging, leadership development, emotional intelligence, societal transformation, self-belief, diversity and inclusion
Killer Quote
Killer Quote: "You can systematically get what you don't want in you, out of you, and more control it. It'll always be there, but you control it. So this way it's not a master of you, you become a master of it and then you can repurpose it to your advantage." — Dr Gwen Petrone
Hashtags
Hashtags: #InclusionBitesPodcast, #FearAsASuperpower, #PositivePeopleExperiences, #CultureChange, #Inclusion, #Belonging, #GenderDiversity, #Resilience, #Authenticity, #MentalHealth, #TransVoices, #Leadership, #SelfBelief, #PodcastUK, #WorkplaceWellbeing, #SupportiveCulture, #PersonalGrowth, #InclusionMatters, #Stoicism, #JoanneLockwood
Why Listen
Why Listen:
Welcome to this episode of Inclusion Bites, where I, Joanne Lockwood, am joined by the remarkable Dr Gwen Petrone for a truly powerful exploration centred on our focus keyword: fear as a superpower. This episode is a masterclass in how embracing fear, rather than running from it, can foster Positive People Experiences and drive Culture Change across organisations, communities, and your own personal journey.
We begin with the compelling premise: can fear, so often seen as our enemy, be intentionally transformed into a force for clarity, strength, and resilient self-belief? Dr Gwen and I dive deeply into what it means to see fear ‘in slow motion’—a genuinely novel approach where, instead of allowing fear to dictate our responses, we gain the tools to analyse, repurpose, and master it.
Dr Gwen, a former US Marine sergeant, equips us with rare insights drawn from her life in the military, her leadership experiences, and her personal journey of gender authenticity. We explore how individuals—and by extension, colleagues and leaders—can approach their internal barriers by methodically domesticating fear through repeated exposure, reflection, and by nurturing new responses that champion growth over paralysis.
The reality is that most people, particularly those who are gender diverse, live in a world rife with uncertainty and often debilitating anxiety about acceptance, authenticity, and belonging. We unpick the ‘terror barrier’: that seemingly insurmountable wall of dread we create in our minds, and reveal that, more often than not, it is a paper-thin veneer disguising a much brighter, healthier way of being on the other side.
Through personal storeys—both Gwen’s and my own—we get real about what it means to reframe rejection, challenge societal constructs, and stop living a life divided by expectation. Gwen’s concept of the ‘pressure valve’, brilliantly illustrated, explains the need to deftly release internalised fear and avoid the emotional explosion that destroys self-worth and relationships. Her analogy roots itself in practical advice, showing how Positive People Experiences are the product of proactive, everyday acts of self-compassion, self-alignment, and open dialogue.
Culture Change is more than buzzwords—it’s brought to life here through examples of authentic leadership, stoic philosophy, and thriving against the odds. We discuss the uniqueness of trans and non-binary experience, but draw out lessons that resonate universally: the silence and clarity that comes when you finally step into your truth, the release from inner conflict, and the new possibilities for connection and purpose that emerge.
We don’t shy away from the hard realities. The episode delves into living authentically in challenging environments—including Gwen's life as a trans woman in Florida—and how one can maintain positivity, connection, and self-assurance even when social and legislative currents seem hostile. The tension between ‘not letting down the side’ and just wanting to live as a ‘normal neighbour’ is explored with honesty and humour, spotlighting the emotional labour of representation and the deeper longing simply to belong.
Importantly, the practicality of this episode will arm you with actionable techniques. We offer a toolkit for leaders, allies, and all listeners on how to support gender diverse colleagues, loved ones, and even ourselves:
How to create micro-validations and everyday signals that affirm belonging.
How resilience and stoic thinking can be systematically built and nurtured in the face of outrage, misgendering, or social isolation.
Strategies for supporting mental health and emotional wellbeing in environments where fear, anxiety, and loneliness run high.
We also challenge our collective blind spots—whether around social media echo chambers, the rising tide of polarisation, and the erosion of dialogue and critical thinking. Fear is not only personal; it’s communal, woven into culture and reinforced by systems. Yet, as Gwen and I reflect, our ability to challenge, question, and then curate our own responses ultimately seeds the ground for real, embedded Culture Change.
By the episode’s close, you will walk away not simply inspired, but equipped. You’ll have grasped that ‘fear as a superpower’ isn’t a catchy phrase, but a strategic, mindful way to generate Positive People Experiences—for yourself, and those around you. You will have experienced honest, brave conversation; the kind Inclusion Bites is built on. You’ll hear that whether you are gender diverse, questioning, an ally, or committed to driving inclusion in your organisation, the path to thriving begins with making peace with your own fear—and moving beyond it towards greater authenticity, camaraderie, and positive culture.
Closing Summary and Call to Action
Closing Summary & Call to Action:
In this dynamic episode, we’ve unpacked the focus keyword ‘fear as a superpower’, not just as a metaphor, but as a blueprint for genuine Positive People Experiences and lasting Culture Change. Here are the key learnings and actionable takeaways you’ll want to embed in your daily life, workplace, or leadership practice:
1. Fear is Not Your Enemy—It’s Your Teacher
Recognise that fear, if left unchecked, can dictate your choices and limit your potential.
By confronting and ‘domesticating’ fear, as Gwen expresses, you learn to repurpose it: using it as a springboard for bold choices, calculated risks, and personal growth.
2. See Fear in Slow Motion
Don’t rush your reaction. Pause, observe, and analyse what you’re facing.
This slow-motion approach offers clarity and emotional detachment, empowering reasoned responses rather than kneejerk reactions dominated by your amygdala (‘chimp brain’).
Leverage this in high-pressure moments—whether in the boardroom, on the field, or in everyday social interactions.
3. The Terror Barrier is Often a Paper Wall
Many perceived obstacles are only as big as our anticipation makes them. Challenge your assumptions.
Small, repeated exposure to what frightens you (‘run toward the fear’) desensitises it, ultimately building resilience.
4. Micro-Validations Multiply Belonging
Small gestures—smiling, authentic compliments, eye contact—cultivate collective confidence.
Practise daily micro-validations for colleagues and loved ones to foster a supportive, empowered group dynamic.
5. Develop a Pressure Valve for Emotional Wellbeing
Don’t bottle up anxiety. Find safe routes to express and diffuse internal tension, whether through conversation, artistry, or physical release.
Know your triggers and develop techniques to ‘let the steam out’ purposefully, avoiding destructive outbursts.
6. Strive for Authenticity, Not Perfection
Moving from performative to authentic living delivers clarity, integrated identity, and reduces psychological stress.
As Gwen and I discuss, living ‘one version of yourself’ provides relief and natural self-assurance.
7. Culture Change is Grounded in Collective Accountability
We’re all stewards of the culture around us. Be the neighbour, leader, or colleague who brings curiosity, challenge, and kindness to every conversation.
Shift group norms through candour, inclusivity, and demonstrating Positive People Experiences.
8. Support Others by Going Deeper
Tolerance is not simply passive; it’s about active engagement, genuine interest, and responding to people’s essence—not just their presentation.
Reach out, ask open questions, and accept that people are in stages of discovery and growth.
9. Self-Knowledge and Lifelong Growth Go Hand-In-Hand
Whether through transition, career pivots, or emotional healing, nurture your capacity to outgrow old beliefs or habits.
Stay open to new experiences; seek the unfamiliar to foster innovation—both personal and communal.
10. Harness the Power of Connection
Even for those who prefer the mainstream over affinity groups, connection with like-minded individuals periodically provides affirmation and prevents loneliness.
Value and nurture these relationships for both support and perspective.
11. Reject Binary Polarisation
The world is rarely black or white. Actively cultivate equanimity, critical thinking, and open, respectful debate.
Challenge algorithms and echo chambers—seek opposing views and learn to sit with discomfort for growth.
12. The Power of Positive People Experiences in Action
Small actions—buying someone a coffee, paying a sincere compliment, or simply listening—create a ripple effect.
Become known for elevating those around you, and Positive People Experiences will follow, driving collective Culture Change.
Call to Action:
Take one fear you’ve avoided and break it into manageable steps. Face it with intention, reflect, and repeat until your “superpower” emerges.
Reach out this week with a micro-validation to a colleague, friend, or family member—notice the impact.
Champion Positive People Experiences in your environment by calling out and celebrating authenticity and real growth.
If you’re questioning your own gender, supporting someone who is, or you’re simply invested in inclusive leadership, I encourage you to revisit this episode, share your learnings, and bring one insight or tool into your community or workplace this month.
Your commitment to transformative action—big or small—is what enables Culture Change. Together we disrupt norms, foster authenticity, and create workplaces and societies where not only do people belong, but they truly thrive.
Outro
Thank you for tuning in to Inclusion Bites and sharing in this journey of real conversations that ignite Culture Change and Positive People Experiences. If you enjoyed this episode centred around fear as a superpower, please like, subscribe to the channel, and share this video with your network. For more transformative insights, episode links, and to connect further, visit:
SEE Change Happen: https://seechangehappen.co.uk
The Inclusion Bites Podcast: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
Root Cause Analyst - Why!
Root Cause Analysis: Fear as a Barrier to Authenticity and Inclusion
Key Problem Identified
One of the core problems addressed in this episode is the paralysing effect of fear—specifically, how fear prevents individuals, particularly gender-diverse people, from expressing authenticity and pursuing personal growth, which subsequently impacts inclusion and belonging.
Let’s begin to break down this problem using the classic Five Whys approach.
1. Why does fear paralyse individuals from expressing authenticity?
Because individuals anticipate negative consequences, such as rejection, humiliation, and loss of relationships, should they reveal their true identities (see Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone at 00:14:00–00:14:16).
2. Why do individuals anticipate such negative outcomes?
Because past experiences or societal narratives have conditioned them to believe that being different, especially regarding gender, carries significant risks—social ostracisation, discrimination, or even violence.
3. Why are social narratives and past experiences so powerful in shaping this fear?
Because mainstream media, legal frameworks, and cultural traditions frequently reinforce binary, cisnormative standards. These perspectives are often amplified through digital polarisation and negative portrayals, which perpetuate stereotypes and exclusion (see Dr. Gwen Petrone at 00:33:00–00:34:00).
4. Why do these standards persist, even as society professes to value diversity?
Because inclusive education, authentic visibility, and positive narrative shifts trail behind the pace of societal change. There is insufficient exposure to real, diverse stories, and many people form opinions based solely on media misrepresentations rather than genuine relationships or open dialogue.
5. Why is there insufficient genuine exposure and positive representation?
Because structural barriers and individual apprehension create a cycle: those who would most benefit from visibility and dialogue feel unsafe or unwelcome, so they retreat, causing mainstream spaces to remain homogeneous and unchallenged.
Findings Summary
At root, the paralysing fear of authenticity is continuously fuelled by a complex interplay of social conditioning, lack of exposure to authentic narratives, and persistent stereotypes. This becomes self-sustaining, as inauthenticity and isolation diminish opportunities for broader understanding and inclusion.
Potential Solutions
Structured Exposure and Dialogue
Organisations (workplaces, schools, communities) should create structured opportunities for diverse stories to be shared—e.g., panel events, storytelling workshops, and podcasts like Inclusion Bites. This demystifies difference and dismantles stereotypes.
Media Literacy and Critical Consumption
Equip individuals with media literacy skills to critically evaluate harmful portrayals and seek authenticity over sensationalism. Challenge binary standards by highlighting real stories, as Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone advocate.
Policy and Procedural Change
Advocate for institutional change: gender-affirming documentation, anti-discrimination laws, and more flexible systems that allow for lived, visible diversity.
Resilience and Empowerment Training
Provide coaching and peer-support initiatives aimed at empowering individuals to “see fear in slow motion” (as per Dr. Gwen Petrone’s technique). Training should focus on emotional regulation, boundary-setting, and determining “which hills to die on.”
Move Beyond ‘Tolerance’ to Authentic Inclusion
Social actors (colleagues, family, community leaders) should actively practise what Dr. Gwen Petrone termed “micro-validations”—small gestures of recognition and respect—which accumulated, have significant impact on reducing fear and promoting belonging.
Closing Reflection
The solution is twofold: empowering the individual to transform fear into strength (domesticating it, as Dr. Gwen Petrone describes), and engineering environments where authenticity is met with validation, not threat. Only by addressing both aspects can the paralysing effect of fear be dismantled, paving the way for genuine inclusion.
Canva Slider Checklist
Episode Carousel
Slide 1:
💥 What if fear wasn’t your enemy, but your greatest superpower? 💥
Slide 2:
Former US Marine sergeant, Dr. Gwen Petrone, turned her fear and anxiety into strength, clarity, and growth. Imagine seeing life’s hardest moments in slow motion—like dodging barriers in the Matrix!
Slide 3:
Each breakthrough brings new courage. As Dr. Gwen Petrone says, “Once you break through... you’re like, oh, that wasn’t that bad.” What’s on the other side of your terror barrier?
Slide 4:
Authenticity unlocks freedom. Why try to “fit in” when embracing your true self can let your life bloom in full colour? It’s time to let joy take the wheel.
Slide 5:
🔥 Ready to rethink fear and rediscover yourself?
Listen now to “Fear as a Superpower” on Inclusion Bites.
Find us at seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen or search Inclusion Bites in your favourite podcast app! #InclusionBites #FearAsPower
6 major topics
Fear as a Superpower: Six Transformative Inclusion Topics I Explored with Dr. Gwen Petrone
Meta Description: Dive into bold conversations on Inclusion Bites as Joanne Lockwood unpacks the power of fear, authenticity, and resilience in inclusive cultures with Dr. Gwen Petrone. From domestication of fear to living authentically, discover how inclusion truly ignites change.
When I sat down with Dr. Gwen Petrone on Inclusion Bites, I knew our conversation would be a masterclass in reframing life’s challenges and championing inclusive cultures. We explored the nuance of fear, unpicked the glass ceiling of authenticity, and delved into what it truly means to nurture belonging in today’s world. Here’s my personal take on six remarkable themes that emerged from our dialogue, all with the goal of sparking not just thought, but action for inclusive cultures everywhere.
1. Harnessing Fear as a Superpower
Right out of the gate, Dr. Gwen Petrone stunned me with her proposition: what if fear wasn’t the adversary, but a potential ally? Instead of allowing fear to debilitate us, Gwen advocated for “seeing fear in slow motion”—pausing in those high-stress moments to analyse, redirect, and repurpose our adrenaline into clarity and growth.
I found myself pondering: Do we always recognise when fear is shaping our decisions, or do we let it operate in the shadows? Gwen’s approach, honed in the U.S. Marine Corps and further developed through life experience, is about “domesticating fear”—training oneself to respond thoughtfully, not react impulsively. The result? Fear becomes a catalyst for resilience, self-belief, and even peak performance—an essential skill in inclusive cultures, where stepping into the unknown is routine.
Curiosity: Could deliberate exposure to small fears eventually inoculate us against life’s larger terrors? And what new strengths might you uncover if you welcomed fear to the table?
2. Domestication of Fear: A Blueprint from the Military and Beyond
We ventured further into Gwen’s techniques for taming fear, forged both on military turf and throughout her personal journey. She described the process as much like training a puppy—consistent, gentle, but unwaveringly clear. “You have to let the steam out through the right valve,” she explained, evoking her ‘pressure valve technique’.
This reminded me of how critical it is for inclusive cultures to create channels for healthy expression, rather than bottling up the anxieties, microaggressions, or uncertainties people often navigate. Fear’s power lies in its secrecy; Gwen’s transparency demystified the process of finding strength through vulnerability.
Curiosity: How might workplaces or communities benefit if we encouraged regular valve-turning conversations about the fears that lurk beneath daily interactions?
3. The Power of Authenticity: From Suppression to Alignment
Another compelling thread running through our conversation was the liberating shift from suppressing identity to fully inhabiting it. Gwen and I compared notes on our own gender journeys—both marked by long stretches of “faking it” and eventual relief when our true selves found daylight.
She described it as merging black-and-white thinking into living in full colour. We both agreed that in an inclusive culture, authenticity isn’t a luxury—it’s oxygen. The moment you align inner truth with outer life, your mental noise quiets, and joy becomes your navigator. That, I remarked, is when your ‘matrix moment’ arrives and everything suddenly makes sense.
Curiosity: What would it take in your world for everyone to feel confident enough to bring their most authentic selves to each interaction?
4. Loneliness and Connection: The Quiet Cost of Nonconformity
Gwen and I confronted a hard truth: loneliness is often the price of authenticity, particularly for those straddling the margins of social norms. Despite outward success, many who identify as trans or nonbinary experience profound loneliness—even amidst crowds—because acceptance doesn’t always translate to inclusion.
We discussed the importance of forging genuine community connections. Not everyone wants to live life tethered to identity-based groups, but nearly everyone craves a handful of people who truly ‘get’ them. Gwen’s experience proved just how transformative inclusive cultures are when they bridge this gap with compassion and micro-validations.
Curiosity: Are there people in your environment who remain unseen and untouched by true connection, despite being surrounded by others?
5. Navigating Real-World Inclusion: Legislation, ID, and Safety
Our chat took a stark turn as Gwen recounted barriers faced in places like Florida, where ever-shifting legislation impacts daily life and dignity. Simple acts—renewing a licence, seeking medical care—become fraught with risk for trans and gender-diverse people when IDs are policed or rights revoked.
We reflected on how inclusion must go beyond “live and let live.” It’s about reimagining systems so that one’s legal documents, healthcare, and public safety are protected—not contingent on luck or passing privilege. This is inclusion ignited as a real-world call to action.
Curiosity: How might we design policies and workplaces that refuse to weaponise bureaucracy against the very people seeking to belong?
6. Micro-Validations, Tolerance, and Allyship in Action
To close, Gwen and I swapped ideas for practical everyday inclusion: the power of micro-validations (“I love your nails!”), the true meaning of tolerance, and the necessity of consciously choosing positive expectation. She described how approaching interactions with kindness, curiosity, and confidence often dissolves barriers before they arise.
Gwen insists, and I wholeheartedly agree, that real allyship is not just passive acceptance but an active investment in affirming others—especially those who remain on the edge of belonging. Inclusion is the sum of these daily actions, amplified micro-moments that build a culture where every individual can flourish.
Curiosity: What small, positive gesture could you offer someone today and what unseen impact might it have on their sense of belonging?
Conclusion: Stepping into an Inclusive Future
My conversation with Dr. Gwen Petrone was a vivid reminder that cultivating truly inclusive cultures is as much about brave self-exploration as it is about transforming systems and everyday interactions. By reframing fear, embracing authenticity, and practising micro-affirmations, we can all be architects of inclusion—one intentional act at a time. For more on these vital transformations, join me on Inclusion Bites, and together, let’s disrupt, connect, and ignite real diversity and inclusive cultures.
Want to keep this conversation going? Reach out to me at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk or dive deeper at https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen.
TikTok Summary
Ready to turn fear into strength? 💪✨ On this episode of Inclusion Bites, Dr. Gwen Petrone joins Joanne Lockwood to reveal how fear can become your ultimate superpower—shaping resilience, clarity, and authentic living. From emotional barriers to celebrating bold authenticity, this chat is packed with real talk, laughs, and moments that'll stick with you.
Curious? Catch the full episode and spark your own journey towards inclusion and growth. Listen now:
https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
#InclusionBites #FearAsASuperpower #Authenticity #InclusionMatters
Slogans and Image Prompts
Certainly! Here’s a selection of memorable slogans, soundbites, and quotes from the episode "Fear as a Superpower" of The Inclusion Bites Podcast. Each is accompanied by a detailed AI image generation prompt, designed to create visually compelling merchandise such as mugs, t-shirts, stickers, and more. These can also serve as hashtags to amplify your reach online.
1. Slogan: "Fear Is My Superpower"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood explored how fear, when seen in slow motion, can foster clarity and strength.
AI Image Prompt:
A bold comic-style illustration of a superhero figure with ambiguous features, radiating a glowing aura labelled "FEAR". The hero stands tall against a stormy background, eyes calm and focussed, with lightning bolts transforming into beams of light. Text overlays in strong, modern fonts: "FEAR IS MY SUPERPOWER". Colour palette: deep blues, neon accents, hints of purple.
Hashtag: #FearIsMySuperpower
2. Slogan: "Domesticating Fear, Unleashing Me"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone: "You can systematically get what you don't want in you, out of you, and more control it. It'll always be there, but you control it. So this way it's not a master of you, you become a master of it and then you can repurpose it to your advantage."
AI Image Prompt:
A serene park landscape with a large, gentle dog labelled "FEAR" sitting obediently beside a confident person. The person holds the leash loosely, symbolising control and partnership, not struggle. Warm, calm morning light. Bold script: "Domesticating Fear, Unleashing Me".
Hashtag: #DomesticatingFear
3. Slogan: "Authenticity Blooms in Colour"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone: “As a guy, I see things in black and white… As a woman, I see things in colour.”
AI Image Prompt:
A human silhouette stands at the threshold between black-and-white cityscape and an explosion of rainbow-coloured nature—flowers, trees, birds. Flowers blossom around the figure, who strides confidently into the vibrant world. Modern hand-lettered text: "Authenticity Blooms in Colour".
Hashtag: #BloomInColour
4. Slogan: "Smash Your Terror Barrier"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone: “Once you break through, I call it the terror barrier… you’re just expanding your comfort zone.”
AI Image Prompt:
A powerful visual of a diverse person breaking through a thin, cracked barrier made of translucent paper, with the words "TERROR BARRIER" faintly visible. On the other side is a glowing, sunlit path. Emphatic, graffiti-style title: "Smash Your Terror Barrier".
Hashtag: #SmashYourTerrorBarrier
5. Slogan: "Micro-Validations Matter"
Quote reference: Joanne Lockwood: “I often describe that as micro validations. I see you, I’m smiling at you, and this is going to make you smile back…”
AI Image Prompt:
A minimalist drawing of two people exchanging warm smiles over coffee, each with a small spark or glowing heart near their chest. Floating around them are tiny plus signs and hearts. Friendly, handwriting-style text: "Micro-Validations Matter".
Hashtag: #MicroValidationsMatter
6. Slogan: "Live and Let Live"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone: “Most people, even in Florida, just want to live and let live.”
AI Image Prompt:
A peaceful neighbourhood scene with people of diverse backgrounds gardening, chatting, and walking dogs side by side. Sun shines equally on everyone. Hand-lettered script: "Live and Let Live".
Hashtag: #LiveAndLetLive
7. Slogan: "Be Yourself. That’s Enough."
Quote reference: Joanne Lockwood: “Be yourself. Because otherwise, when you go out in the real world, I have to come out each time. Whereas if you’re just publicly you all the time, there’s never, there’s no two versions.”
AI Image Prompt:
A mirror showing only one complete, smiling reflection, surrounded by fragmented, fading shadows representing "other versions". The reflected person stands in casual clothing, open posture, with a light aura. Clean serifed text: “Be Yourself. That’s Enough.”
Hashtag: #BeYourselfThatsEnough
8. Slogan: "Ready to Ignite Inclusion?"
Quote reference: Joanne Lockwood: “It’s time to ignite the spark of inclusion…”
AI Image Prompt:
A stylised match or candle with a vibrant flame. Within the flame, silhouettes of diverse people are visible. The background is dark, making the fire and the word “INCLUSION” glow. Modern, energetic font: “Ready to Ignite Inclusion?”
Hashtag: #IgniteInclusion
9. Slogan: "See the World Clearly"
Quote reference: Joanne Lockwood: “This is my Matrix moment when I go, whoa. I see the world clearly now…”
AI Image Prompt:
A stylised Matrix-style digital backdrop in blue and green with a figure standing in the centre, opening their arms as code and fog lift, revealing a vivid, sunlit landscape. Futuristic font: “See the World Clearly”.
Hashtag: #SeeTheWorldClearly
10. Slogan: "Grow, Adapt, Shine"
Quote reference: Dr. Gwen Petrone: “Life’s purpose is to grow and to be able to gain more knowledge and new information and more experiences to become better as you grow…”
AI Image Prompt:
A sequence of three vignettes: a seed sprouting, a sapling bending in wind, and a towering, radiant tree against the sunrise. Each stage linked by a golden thread. Uplifting, hand-drawn cursive: "Grow, Adapt, Shine".
Hashtag: #GrowAdaptShine
Each of these is rooted in meaningful moments from the episode and designed to evoke pride, solidarity, and thoughtfulness—perfect for inclusive, positive merchandise!
Inclusion Bites Spotlight
This month’s Inclusion Bits Spotlight shines on Dr. Gwen Petrone, featured on "Fear as a Superpower", episode 210 of The Inclusion Bites Podcast. As a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach, Dr. Gwen Petrone brings a distinctive lens to fear, resilience, and the lived experiences of gender diverse individuals. Her journey weaves together military discipline, technical prowess, and lived experience in gender transition, offering listeners a profoundly human perspective on turning adversity into authentic strength.
Dr. Gwen Petrone unpacks her unique superpower—seeing fear in slow motion—highlighting the power of reframing, analysis, and self-compassion. Through relatable metaphors, from The Matrix to the everyday realities of dysphoria, Gwen shares how the systematic deconstruction of fear learned in military service can be realigned into tools for resilience and self-belief. She discusses her approach to "domesticating fear", transforming it from a debilitating force into an engine of personal growth—practical wisdom that transcends the boundaries of gender identity.
Throughout her conversation with Joanne Lockwood, Dr. Gwen Petrone addresses the internal and external barriers often faced by those exploring or expressing their gender identity, including the perpetual "terror barriers" that must be confronted and overcome. She tackles the impact of societal expectations, authenticity, and the need for connection—reminding us that loneliness, not loudness, is too often the outcome of stigma. Gwen’s insights are deeply relevant for not only gender diverse individuals but anyone learning to harness their fears in pursuit of inclusion.
Central to this episode is the theme of micro-validations—the small gestures and acknowledgments that can have an outsized impact on inclusion and well-being. Dr. Gwen Petrone and Joanne Lockwood explore how everyday acts of validation, support, and openness can play a pivotal role in supporting those who feel ‘othered’, turning isolation into belonging.
If you are ready to rethink what it means to be resilient, and how fear can be consciously cultivated into a resource, this episode is unmissable. Dr. Gwen Petrone’s clarity and candour invite us all to reconsider how we see ourselves, each other, and the ongoing work of inclusion. Tune in to discover why embracing your story—and your fear—might just be your greatest superpower.
Catch the full conversation at Inclusion Bites.
YouTube Description
Opening Hook:
What if embracing your deepest fears could become your ultimate superpower for self-discovery and resilience?
Description:
Welcome to Episode 210 of the Inclusion Bites Podcast: Fear as a Superpower. Host Joanne Lockwood engages with Dr. Gwen Petrone—former US Marine sergeant, author, and gender-diverse coach—in a compelling and thought-provoking dialogue that will challenge the way you perceive fear and authenticity.
Discover how Dr. Gwen Petrone repurposes fear from a paralysing force into a catalyst for strength, clarity, and growth. Drawing from experiences in the US Marine Corps, her personal journey of gender identity, and her coaching work, Gwen reveals the practical steps to “domesticate” fear—turning anxiety and dysphoria into resilient self-belief. You’ll hear insightful metaphors, including her “Matrix moment” of seeing fear in slow motion, and strategies to cultivate calmness and make empowered decisions in the face of adversity.
This episode breaks down societal taboos and challenges assumptions around authenticity, the pressures of belonging, and the very real impacts of systemic barriers. You’ll walk away with a sense of hope and actionable tools: from handling daily microaggressions to supporting loved ones experiencing dysphoria, and understanding your power to create change through kindness and micro-validations.
Key Takeaways & Actions:
Transform fear from a blocker to an enabler through ‘domestication’ and focused self-reflection.
Recognise the importance of authenticity: being your true self, both online and offline, fosters both inner peace and societal acceptance.
Support others with compassion—small gestures of validation can change lives.
Challenge binary thinking and expand your ability to sit with difference, ambiguity, and discomfort.
Engage with communities that encourage conversation, connection, and collective learning.
By the end, you’ll think differently about the meaning of fear; feel inspired to support inclusion and resilience; and act with greater empathy in your everyday encounters.
Listen, connect, and join the movement for inclusive change.
#InclusionBites #FearAsSuperpower #GenderDiversity #AuthenticLiving #Resilience #PersonalGrowth #TransVoices #Belonging #LGBTQSupport #MicroValidation
Subscribe for more bold conversations that disrupt the status quo and ignite change. Share your thoughts or your story with Joanne at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk.
Listen to all episodes: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
10 Question Quiz
Multiple Choice Quiz: Fear as a Superpower — Insights from the Host
According to Joanne Lockwood, what is the primary intent of the Inclusion Bites Podcast?
a) To discuss business growth strategies
b) To have surface-level diversity conversations
c) To spark change through bold discussions on inclusion and belonging
d) To provide legal advice on diversity issuesIn her introduction, Joanne Lockwood refers to the podcast as a:
a) Coffee time breakroom
b) Sanctuary for bold conversations
c) Network marketing show
d) Tech innovation hubJoanne Lockwood describes the journey on Inclusion Bites as one of:
a) Avoiding contentious topics
b) Reflecting and inspiring action together
c) Pitching products to the audience
d) Providing political debate onlyWhen discussing fear, what metaphor does Joanne Lockwood use to illustrate seeing fear in slow motion?
a) A chess match
b) The Matrix bullet time scene
c) Climbing a mountain
d) Crossing a busy roadWhat does Joanne Lockwood highlight as a common fear among gender diverse people?
a) Fear of public speaking
b) Fear of rejection and unwrapping themselves to the world
c) Fear of flying
d) Fear of losing moneyIn the conversation, Joanne Lockwood mentions a "Matrix moment." What does she mean by this?
a) Learning coding skills
b) Experiencing clarity and authenticity after personal alignment
c) Winning a race
d) Becoming famousHow does Joanne Lockwood describe the path to authenticity for herself and others?
a) By sticking to gender stereotypes
b) By being publicly yourself at all times
c) By copying others’ identities
d) By editing one’s online persona meticulouslyWhat does Joanne Lockwood note as a significant change in her life post-transition?
a) Having multiple identities still in conflict
b) Achieving a quiet mind with one unified voice
c) Losing all sense of self
d) Becoming less socialWhen Joanne Lockwood discusses social perceptions, what does she say about the responsibility borne by visible trans individuals?
a) There is no responsibility at all
b) They carry a burden to represent their community positively
c) They should avoid public interactions
d) They must never disclose their identitiesTowards the end, how does Joanne Lockwood advocate for everyday inclusion and positivity?
a) By ignoring differences
b) Through micro validations and small daily acts of kindness
c) Focusing exclusively on debating rights
d) Enforcing strict policies for all
Answer Key & Rationales
c) To spark change through bold discussions on inclusion and belonging
Rationale: In the opening, Joanne Lockwood frames the podcast as a source of bold conversations sparking change.b) Sanctuary for bold conversations
Rationale: She directly welcomes listeners to "your sanctuary for bold conversations that spark change."b) Reflecting and inspiring action together
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood encourages listeners to “connect, reflect and inspire action together.”b) The Matrix bullet time scene
Rationale: She likens seeing fear in slow motion to Neo in the Matrix, dodging bullets by seeing time slow down.b) Fear of rejection and unwrapping themselves to the world
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood discusses the anxiety and fear gender diverse people have regarding revealing their true selves.b) Experiencing clarity and authenticity after personal alignment
Rationale: Her "Matrix moment" is the realisation and clarity upon living authentically.b) By being publicly yourself at all times
Rationale: Joanne Lockwood stresses the value of always being authentic and removing the need for multiple personas.b) Achieving a quiet mind with one unified voice
Rationale: She describes moving from conflicted internal voices to "one voice, one thought, one me."b) They carry a burden to represent their community positively
Rationale: She refers to the responsibility and burden of representing her community well to counter stereotypes.b) Through micro validations and small daily acts of kindness
Rationale: She advocates for "micro validations" — small compliments and genuine gestures — to foster inclusion.
Summary Paragraph
Throughout this episode, Joanne Lockwood positions Inclusion Bites as a sanctuary for genuine conversations that challenge societal norms, with the ultimate goal of sparking meaningful change around inclusion and belonging. She emphasises reflective dialogue and the importance of inspiring practical action together. Drawing from her own journey, Joanne Lockwood powerfully illustrates the impact of fear, especially the fear of rejection faced by gender diverse individuals, and uses the “Matrix moment” as a metaphor for the transformative clarity and authenticity achieved through personal alignment. She underscores the significance of living authentically in all spheres, advocating for everyday kindness and micro validations as vital acts of inclusion. Additionally, she highlights the burden and responsibility of visibly representing marginalised communities, reinforcing the central role of positive, gentle interactions and the unified pursuit of authenticity in driving lasting societal impact.
Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm Podcast Poetry
Fear in Slow Motion: The Courage to Be
A world of cold winds and Christmas lights,
Of thunder, lightning—electric nights,
Where journey’s start and journey’s end
May lead to places hearts can mend.
A tale unfolds both fierce and kind:
What if our fears, when redefined,
Could guide us forward, not look back,
Transform each crack into a track?
Trained for challenge, taught to pause,
To see a threat and seek its cause—
Learn to slow the rushing blood,
To stand resilient through each flood.
Fear is a teacher, not the foe,
A fleeting shadow in the glow;
Repurposed wisely, strength unfolds,
As clarity and calm take hold.
A gentle touch, a radiant smile—
Authentic hearts are worth the while.
Once masked by roles, by fear and doubt,
But truth, once named, will find its route.
To live as whole, not torn in two,
To step with courage, just be you.
Transition’s journey: never one—
Becoming more, not just begun.
Not always seen, not always praised,
Yet loneliness and love both phased.
A world that puts us in a box,
That judges, stares, and sometimes mocks,
But meet the gaze with head held high,
With kindness, jokes, and open sky.
Each microvalidation, real,
Is power—proof that wounds will heal.
So share your story, hold your space,
Unpack your fears, pursue your place.
Whether in darkness or in light,
This superpower’s worth the fight.
Let difference be what brings us near,
For every voice is welcome here.
To courage—quiet, loud, or proud—
Let’s live our truth and speak it loud.
Want more insights, voices bright?
Subscribe and share—ignite the light.
With thanks to Dr. Gwen Petrone for a fascinating podcast episode
Key Learnings
Key Learning & Takeaway
The central message of this episode, "Fear as a Superpower," is the transformative potential of fear: when harnessed and understood, fear need not be paralysing but can instead be domesticated, repurposed, and used to strengthen resilience, self-belief, and authenticity—particularly in the context of gender identity and personal growth. Both Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone exemplify how confronting fear, rather than avoiding it, enables individuals to break through psychological barriers, expand their comfort zones, and ultimately thrive.
Point #1: Redefining Fear as a Constructive Force
Both speakers illuminate the idea that fear isn't solely a negative emotional response; rather, when observed with self-awareness, it can be analysed, slowed down, and redirected. Dr. Gwen Petrone calls this process "seeing fear in slow motion," offering opportunities for rational decision-making even under pressure, inspired by her experiences as a Marine and a leader.
Point #2: Authenticity Breaks Down Internal and External Barriers
The journey toward living authentically, particularly for gender diverse individuals, is often obstructed by anticipatory fear—fear of rejection, humiliation, and the unknown. However, Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone show that moving through the so-called "terror barrier" often renders it far less intimidating than imagined, providing clarity, inner harmony, and genuine self-acceptance.
Point #3: Building Resilience Through Exposure and Self-Compassion
Rather than retreating from discomfort, deliberately facing small fears incrementally is a method promoted by stoic philosophy and endorsed in the conversation. Repeated exposure gradually desensitises and strengthens psychological resilience, which is vital for anyone, but especially for those navigating marginalised experiences.
Point #4: The Power of Micro-Validation and Social Connection
Seemingly simple gestures—compliments, small acts of kindness, or genuine acknowledgment—can serve as powerful antidotes to loneliness and isolation. In environments marked by misunderstanding or stigma, these acts promote belonging and support, underscoring how every individual can make an impact.
In summary:
This episode is a compelling invitation to rethink our relationship with fear—not as an obstacle, but as a latent superpower capable of catalysing change, whether in our personal journeys or in building inclusive communities.
Book Outline
Book Outline: Fear as a Superpower: Transforming Anxiety and Dysphoria into Strength
Working Title Suggestions
Fear as a Superpower: From Dysphoria to Strength and Self-Belief
Domesticating Fear: Harnessing Anxiety for Growth and Authenticity
Unfreeze: Slowing Down Fear for Resilience and True Self
The Slow Motion of Courage: Lessons in Fear, Authenticity, and Inclusion
Table of Contents
Introduction: Reframing Fear
Setting the Stage: The Journey from Anxiety to Empowerment
Relevance for Gender Diverse and Wider Audiences
Chapter 1: The Anatomy of Fear
Subheadings:
What is Fear, Really?
The Chimp Brain—Why We Freeze
Slow Motion: Cultivating Calm Under Pressure
From Debilitation to Repurposing Fear
Key Example:
Describing the “Matrix moment” — seeing fear and decision points as if in slow motion, allowing for rational choices under pressure.
Reflection Exercise:
Provide scenarios for readers to identify their own ‘freeze’ moments.
Chapter 2: Cultivating Calm—The Military Blueprint
Subheadings:
Life in the Marines: Lessons Beyond the Battlefield
Desensitising and Training: The Repetition Principle
Domesticating Fear (Stoic Philosophy for Everyday Life)
Key Quote:
“Learn to desensitise yourself. Don’t do what instinct expects. Repurpose it.”
Visual Aid Suggestion:
Flowchart: Emotional Response from Reptilian Brain to the Prefrontal Cortex.
Chapter 3: Dysphoria, Pressure, and the Power of Release
Subheadings:
Understanding Dysphoria as Internal Pressure
The Pressure Valve Analogy
Strategies for Releasing Internal Tension Safely
Avoiding Burnout and Destructive Release
Illustrative Story:
The importance of allowing oneself to express gender identity, described as letting the ‘steam’ out at the right moment.
Action Step:
Guided journal prompt: Identifying healthy pressure release techniques.
Chapter 4: Crossing the Terror Barrier
Subheadings:
Recognising and Naming the ‘Terror Barrier’
Why We Fear Revealing Ourselves
Strategies for Desensitising through Action
Expanding the Comfort Zone
Key Analogy:
The 'paper-thin' nature of the barrier once crossed—the myth of its impenetrability.
Interactive Element:
Checklist: “What Am I Really Afraid Of?” (Rejection, humiliation, loss, etc.)
Chapter 5: Authenticity Unleashed
Subheadings:
The Cost of Hiding vs. The Power of One’s Truth
Integration of Past and Present Selves
The Yin/Yang of Masculine and Feminine Attributes
Embracing the ‘Unicorn’ Self: More than Sum of Parts
Anecdote:
Realisation that being authentic creates one internal voice, bringing peace and clarity.
Reflection Questions:
“When do I feel most myself?” “What would life be like with just one version of me?”
Chapter 6: Belonging and Loneliness
Subheadings:
The Double-Edged Sword of Visibility
The Unique Loneliness of Living in Between
The Critical Role of Community and Chosen Family
The Quest for Everyday Normality
Real-Life Example:
The ‘word of the day is lonely’—being surrounded but unseen, the experience of many gender diverse individuals.
Action Step:
Exercise on identifying and nurturing support networks.
Chapter 7: Practical Resilience — Lessons for All
Subheadings:
Stoicism, Toughness, and Adaptation
‘Planting Your Flag’: When to Stand Firm, When to Adapt
Building Resilience through Exposure
Balancing Vulnerability and Strategic Disengagement
Direct Quote:
“…eventually you have to go in where the broken glass is to develop toughness.”
Exercise:
Personal Resilience Map—plotting past experiences and future challenges.
Chapter 8: Navigating Society’s Structures
Subheadings:
Legal and Medical Hurdles in the Modern Landscape
The Emotional Reality of Bureaucracy and Documentation
Adapting to Law Changes and Societal Shifts
The Difference between Day-to-Day Acceptance and Institutional Barriers
Case Example:
Accessing surgery and the impact of gender marker changes on documents in Florida.
Sidebar:
Tips for self-advocacy in healthcare and bureaucracy.
Chapter 9: Media, Perception, and Misconceptions
Subheadings:
The Power and Pitfall of Stereotypes
Combating Media Narratives with Real-Life Interactions
Everyday Ambassadorship: The Burden and Privilege
Changing Perceptions One Conversation at a Time
Story:
Conversations in the hot tub—breaking down misconceptions through mundane interactions.
Chapter 10: Embracing Change and Growth
Subheadings:
The Lifelong Purpose: Growth Over Comfort
Letting Go of Outmoded Beliefs
New Experiences, New Wisdom
The Benefits of Openness
Quote:
“You have to have the knowledge and the willingness to get rid of old thoughts and beliefs that maybe don’t serve you anymore…”
Visual Aid:
Diagram: Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset.
Conclusion: Micro-Validations and Big Changes
Summing Up: The Essential Practices for Thriving with Fear
The Impact of Tiny Moments of Validation
Living, Letting Live, and Encouraging the Same in Others
Call to Action
Engage in Micro-Validations—Be Kind in Small and Big Ways
Connect with Communities—Online and Offline
Practise Fear Repurposing—Make Slow Motion a Habit
Advocate for Inclusion and Authenticity in Personal and Public Spheres
Refinement and Feedback
Suggestions for peer review amongst trans and gender diverse communities
Invitation for ally and expert feedback prior to publication
Iterative editing process for clarity, accuracy, and broader application
Chapter Summaries
Introduction:
Frames the journey as an exploration of transforming fear—from the battlefield of the mind to the lived experience of gender diversity.
Chapter 1:
Defines fear in neurological and emotional terms, introduces the concept of ‘seeing fear in slow motion’ and lays the neuropsychological foundation for later chapters.
Chapter 2:
Outlines practical tools and philosophies learned in the military, expanded for civilian and trans experiences.
Chapter 3:
Explores the unique shape of dysphoria, models for managing it, and the risks of unaddressed pressure.
Chapter 4:
Examines the myth of insurmountable life barriers, methods for active desensitisation, and long-term growth.
Chapter 5:
Celebrates authenticity, integration of life chapters, and the unique enrichment gained through blending masculine and feminine selves.
Chapter 6:
Discusses the challenge and imperative for belonging, advocates for nurturing micro-communities, and addresses loneliness as a serious theme.
Chapter 7:
Provides a toolkit for resilience, derived from lived experience and formal training, adaptable by anyone facing adversity.
Chapter 8:
Explores legal, societal, and medical obstacles with honesty, offering pragmatic strategies for self-management and advocacy.
Chapter 9:
Addresses the effect of media on perception, the responsibility felt by visible minorities, and personal action for narrative disruption.
Chapter 10:
Shifts from personal to universal: the importance of ongoing learning, letting go, and embracing the ‘next challenge’.
Conclusion:
Brings together themes of micro-validation, daily kindness, and leading by example; reinforces practical inclusion as a habit and a goal.
Supplementary Content Suggestions
Case Studies: Deeper dives into stories from other gender diverse individuals for additional perspective.
Research Boxes: Short explanations of psychological theories mentioned (e.g., amygdala, prefrontal cortex, growth mindset).
Practical Exercises: Worksheets for pressure valve identification, resilience planning.
Reflection Prompts: Questions at the end of each chapter for personal journaling.
Resource List: Further reading, helplines, and support organisations.
This outline offers a logical flow, pragmatic focus, and emotionally resonant journey from fear to flourishing, suitable for anyone interested in resilience, authenticity, and gender diversity.
Maxims to live by…
Fear as a Superpower: Maxims for Authentic Living
Transform Fear Into Strength
View fear not as an enemy, but as a resource to be repurposed—recognise its energy and harness it for clarity, resilience, and growth.See Through the Chaos
In moments of anxiety, slow down and observe events with a calm, analytical mindset; grant yourself the space to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.Domesticate Your Fears
Systematically train yourself to master fear, allowing it neither to dominate nor to dictate your actions—cultivate conscious control instead.Let Go to Grow
Release outdated beliefs that no longer serve your wellbeing, making room for fresh experiences, new perspectives, and personal development.Work Through the ‘Terror Barrier’
When facing something daunting, remember: the greatest hurdles often appear insurmountable until you push through—on the other side lies relief and new confidence.Expand Your Comfort Zone Gradually
Practice desensitising yourself to that which frightens you, through repeated, incremental exposure—bravery is built brick by brick.Value Authenticity Over Perfection
Present your true self to the world. Avoid hiding behind facades—authenticity breeds acceptance and invites genuine connection.Embrace the Power of Vulnerability
Opening up and being seen as your true self releases the burden of secrecy and doubles your inner strength.Cultivate Self-Compassion
Be gentle with yourself on your journey. Growth often means setbacks—extend kindness to yourself as you would to a loved one.Prioritise Real Human Connection
Reach out, confide, and seek out those who understand your path—shared experiences diminish loneliness and create belonging.Be Generous with Micro-Validations
Small gestures—a smile, a compliment—can change someone’s day or even their life. Use kindness as your currency in every encounter.Judge Others by Their Character
Resist snap judgements based solely on superficial cues; seek out the essence and energy of those you meet.Let Go of the Need to ‘Be Right’
Hold your beliefs lightly and stay open to learning; growth requires space for changing ideas and letting new understanding in.Recognise and Honour Your Journey
Whether your identity evolves quickly or takes decades to bloom, give yourself permission to unfold in your own time.Acknowledge the Pain of Exclusion—and Rise Above It
Understand that others’ rejection reflects their limitations, not your worth. Your authenticity will attract your true supporters.Stay Present and Positive
Anticipate goodwill and bring confidence into your interactions—your attitude influences the responses you receive.Show Tolerance in Action, Not Just Words
True tolerance means accepting others even when their lives or views diverge from your own—look past surface difference to shared humanity.Find Joy in Everyday Life
Celebrate your journey and embrace the aspects of yourself that bring you happiness, colour, and zest.Celebrate Integration, Not Erasure
Honour both your past and present selves—allow every facet of your identity to inform the richness of your experience.Use Adversity as Fertile Ground
Tough experiences are the crucible where resilience is formed—learn, adapt, and emerge stronger.Live and Let Live
Approach differences with acceptance, expecting others’ respect in return; strive for peaceful coexistence wherever you go.Create, Don’t Segregate
Seek connection with community, but do not limit your life to insular groups—embrace diverse experiences and environments.Practice Active Listening and Reflection
When supporting others, offer space, validation, and encouragement—sometimes the smallest acts foster the deepest healing.Remember: Growth is a Lifelong Purpose
Whether through travel, learning, or conversation, continually seek to broaden your mind, deepen empathy, and enrich your life.
Live these principles and unlock the true superpower found in facing, understanding, and transforming your own fear and vulnerability.
Extended YouTube Description
Fear as a Superpower: Transforming Anxiety Into Strength with Dr. Gwen Petrone | Inclusion Bites Podcast 210
Welcome to Episode 210 of Inclusion Bites, "Fear as a Superpower", where host Joanne Lockwood engages in a compelling conversation with Dr. Gwen Petrone—a former US Marine sergeant, author, and coach. In this episode, they delve into harnessing fear, overcoming gender dysphoria, resilience building, and authentic self-expression. Perfect for HR professionals, DEI champions, leaders, and anyone navigating identity and inclusion.
⏩ Timestamps for Easy Navigation
00:00 – Introduction to Inclusion Bites
01:15 – Meet Dr. Gwen Petrone and her “superpower”
05:14 – Fear in slow motion: The Matrix metaphor
06:22 – From Marine Corps to resilience coach
14:07 – The "terror barrier" and expanding your comfort zone
18:34 – Living authentically: Embracing gender and identity
23:56 – Understanding gender, transition, and finding your true self
29:44 – Coping with loneliness and navigating relationships
34:03 – The reality of life as a trans woman in Florida
40:03 – Legal and systemic barriers: ID documents and access to care
46:15 – Building resilience in a polarised, noisy world
51:16 – Actionable strategies for those questioning identity
54:03 – Empowering allies: Supporting others with compassion
57:12 – About "Dysphoria Hacks" and connecting with Gwen
59:51 – Closing remarks and further engagement
Episode Overview & SEO-Optimised Description
Unlock practical strategies for turning fear from a debilitating force into a catalyst for growth and authenticity. In this Inclusion Bites episode, Joanne Lockwood interviews Dr. Gwen Petrone, who shares her transformative journey: from facing dysphoria and military life, to empowering others through resilience, stoicism, and radical self-acceptance.
Key Themes and Takeaways:
Transforming Fear into a Superpower: Discover how “seeing fear in slow motion” enables better decision-making and emotional regulation under pressure—essential skills for leaders, DEI advocates, and anyone seeking to thrive in uncertainty.
Resilience Through Lived Experience: Direct insights from military training, stoic philosophy, and gender transition. Learn “domesticating fear” and “pressure valve” techniques for managing anxiety, dysphoria, and life’s daily stresses.
Living Authentically: The episode explores the importance of integrating all parts of the self, shedding masks, and embracing authenticity—offering vital lessons for personal and professional fulfilment.
Navigating Barriers and Building Support: Dr. Gwen Petrone discusses challenges faced by trans and gender-diverse individuals, including loneliness, systemic obstacles with identification documents, and the need for robust support networks.
Fostering Inclusive Environments: Joanne Lockwood and Dr. Gwen Petrone offer advice for allies—highlighting “micro validations” and genuine tolerance as tools for creating workplaces and communities where everyone thrives.
Whether you’re exploring your own identity or seeking to support others, the stories and strategies here will enrich your toolkit for inclusion, belonging, and personal growth.
✨ Don’t Miss Out!
Subscribe for weekly deep-dives into inclusive cultures, belonging, and leadership.
Visit our website for more episodes & resources: Inclusion Bites Podcast
Contact Joanne Lockwood with your story or questions: jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
Read Dr. Gwen Petrone’s book, "Dysphoria Hacks" at dysphoriahacks.com
Want more actionable inclusion? Watch our previous episode or explore our playlist. Comment below with your reflections on using fear as a catalyst for change!
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#InclusionBites #Resilience #Authenticity #FearAsASuperpower #GenderDiversity #LGBTQ #DiversityAndInclusion #MentalHealth #SelfBelief #PersonalGrowth #Leadership #Stoicism #Podcast
Empower your journey towards belonging—press play, connect, and join the conversation today.
Substack Post
Harnessing Fear: Turning Challenges into Superpowers
What if I told you that the root of most workplace stress, disengagement, and personal ‘stuckness’ is not just change itself but our fear of what comes next? In the ever-shifting DEI landscape, fear can lurk in organisational corridors, fuelling anxiety, breeding inertia, and undermining belonging. But what if we could flip the script—is it possible to treat fear as a catalyst, a source of clarity, and even a superpower?
This question sits at the very heart of the latest Inclusion Bites Podcast episode, “Fear as a Superpower,” where I have the privilege of exploring this terrain with the remarkable Dr. Gwen Petrone. A former US Marine sergeant turned author and coach, Gwen shares her unique theory: with the right mindset, fear can be domesticated, repurposed, and transformed into resilience, self-belief, and growth. Join me on this week’s episode as we unpick how to turn anxiety into agency—an essential skill for anyone seeking to build truly inclusive, equitable cultures.
When Fear Leads the Dance: Building Resilience from Within
In our conversation, Dr. Gwen Petrone invites us to look at fear not as something to eradicate, but as a force that can be channelled—much like harnessing the wind to power a turbine rather than letting it blow you off course. Drawing upon her experiences both in the US Marine Corps and as a gender-diverse person navigating dysphoria, Gwen articulates how understanding and “seeing fear in slow motion” allows us not only to survive but to thrive.
The realities we discuss are familiar to many facing significant transitions—be it a new role, a major change initiative, or a personal journey with identity. This episode is packed with insights relevant to:
HR professionals tasked with supporting diverse talent through upheaval and change.
D&I leaders and Talent Managers striving to embed true belonging in corporate DNA.
Organisational and L&D leads looking to cultivate resilience and mental agility across their teams.
By examining fear as a lived, universal experience, Gwen’s wisdom transcends the personal and speaks directly to the collective. Her practical methods for “domesticating” fear are equally applicable whether you’re navigating workplace transformation, addressing imposter syndrome, or fostering psychological safety for gender-diverse colleagues.
What Makes Dr. Gwen Petrone’s Story So Compelling?
Far more than an academic or theorist, Gwen works from the trenches—literally. Her Marine Corps background provided a laboratory for resilience under metaphorical and literal fire. She describes learning to slow down her response to panic, dissect it, and ultimately “repurpose it for good.”
What makes her story utterly relatable is how she translates this skill to her civilian life: as a leader, as a coach, and as someone on a journey of gender transition. Gwen is candid about her struggles, speaking openly of dysphoria, loneliness, and the pressure valve effect that so many people navigating difference (or leading on DEI) will know.
She doesn’t flinch from the hard stuff—whether describing the impact of legislative change on her medical rights, or the psychological toll of authenticity—but she finds pathways through.
Cues for Courage: Lessons You Can Put into Practice This Week
Here are some actionable takeaways from our conversation that should resonate with every DEI champion, people manager, or anyone facing uncertainty:
Turn Down the Volume on Anxiety by Slowing Down
Gwen likens her method to Neo in The Matrix—seeing bullets (fears) in slow motion. When confronted with anxiety or dysphoria, she “freezes” the emotional charge and switches to a rational, analytical mode, enabling conscious, values-driven decision-making.
Practical tip: Next time you hit a stressful moment at work, try visualising the emotion as water running off you—pause, observe, and act once calm descends.Desensitise, Don’t Avoid: Approach Your Fears Bit by Bit
Drawing on military and stoic philosophy, Gwen advocates systematic exposure to challenging situations. Whether it’s public speaking, asking for feedback, or stepping into new territory at work, repeated small risks expand your comfort zone. Real resilience is built on practice, not avoidance.Authenticity Lightens the Load (and the Mind)
Both Gwen and I discuss the liberation that comes from aligning your outward persona with your inner self. For gender-diverse people, this can mean overcoming “terror barriers,” but it applies universally—bring your whole self to work, and resistance (internal dialogues, anxiety, others’ uncertainty) fades. Authenticity silences the warring voices in your head, freeing up energy for creativity and empathy.Identify Which “Hills” to Defend
Not every slight or misstep is worth the emotional labour. Gwen is pragmatic: sometimes it’s best to “let it go” and focus energy elsewhere. Prioritise standing firm when real harm or exclusion is at stake, but grant grace for the everyday clumsy moment—that’s how cultures of forgiveness and growth are made.Small Acts of Kindness Go a Long Way
In a world polarised by ideology and stress, micro-validations—compliments and simple acts of acknowledgement—have an outsized impact. “You never know,” Gwen reminds us, “when a kind word is all that’s needed to pull someone back from the brink.”
Watch and Reflect: A Minute That Might Change Your Mindset
Curious how this journey unfolds? I’ve selected a powerful moment from my discussion with Gwen for you to watch. This one-minute audiogram captures the essence of channelling fear into growth—a taster for the wider conversation.
[Watch the 9:16 video audiogram here]
(Insert video link)
Let Gwen’s story challenge your thinking on what’s possible, whether you’re leading change, supporting colleagues through anxiety, or wrestling with your own imposter syndrome.
Ready to Transform Fear into Fuel?
The honesty and practical strategies Gwen shares go far beyond simple pep talk; they’re a toolkit for change-makers striving to convert adversity into agency, both personally and organisationally. If you want deeper insights on:
How to coach resilience in your teams
Supporting gender-diverse staff through policy changes and everyday realities
Creating safe spaces for authenticity and human flourishing
…then the full episode is a must-listen. Tune in here to immerse yourself in our conversation and discover how the power to “domesticate” fear could be your organisation’s next superpower.
Found the episode thought-provoking? Share it with peers, managers, and your HR Network on LinkedIn or within your Employee Resource Groups. The more we normalise conversations around vulnerability and resilience, the more inclusive our workspaces—and our world—will become.
One Last Thought for the Road
How might your workplace change if every “what if?” was met not with resistance, but with curiosity and courage? What would it feel like to turn your organisation’s greatest anxieties into the starting point for its greatest transformation?
I hope Gwen’s journey inspires you to see your biggest barriers as opportunities for growth—not just for you, but for those around you.
Let’s keep the conversation going—and keep building cultures where everyone can turn fear into fuel.
Until next time,
Joanne Lockwood
Host of the Inclusion Bites Podcast
The Inclusive Culture Expert at SEE Change Happen
Explore more episodes, articles and resources at seechangehappen.co.uk
Got thoughts or stories to share? Connect with me at jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk
What will you do this week to nurture courage and inclusion—one conversation, one small step at a time?
1st Person Narrative Content
Fear in Slow Motion: Harnessing My Superpower for Growth, Clarity, and Authenticity
“You can domesticate fear. Like any wild animal, with the right approach, it can go from a predator lurking in the shadows to a steadfast companion at your side.”
That truth didn’t come to me in a flash of inspiration. It’s the compounded lesson of decades spent moving through extremes: from the wind-battered streets of New York to the heat and humidity of Florida, from a US Marine bunker with secrets for company to boardrooms, football pitches, and, ultimately, into the lived truth of my gender identity. Fear, once a wall I smashed into again and again, gradually became a lever. I learned to slow it down, see its moving parts, and repurpose it for resilience, clarity, and growth.
This is the insight at the core of my conversation with Joanne Lockwood on Inclusion Bites—a podcast that’s earned its reputation for going far beyond platitudes. If there’s a throughline in my life, it’s that resilience is a skill, and authenticity is a choice we must make again and again, even when the stakes feel existential.
Why Fear Is Universal—and Universally Misunderstood
A recurring question defines my work as an author, coach, and advocate for gender-diverse people: “How do I move forward when fear, anxiety, and uncertainty are stacked against me?” The neat answer would be: “You just do.” But anyone who’s wrestled with gender dysphoria, questioned their belonging, or attempted a major personal reinvention—or simply tried to survive military service or entrepreneurship—knows there’s nothing neat about walking through the terror barrier.
Fear is rarely as gigantic as it appears. But until you engage with it, it remains a shapeshifter, dictating your decisions and sapping your resolve. My journey from Marine sergeant to gender coach to author of Dysphoria Hacks has been punctuated by moments that demanded I not abandon the process, tempting as it was. Harnessing fear, as I’ve learned, is about analysis, re-contextualisation, and the relentless pursuit of authenticity.
Inclusion Bites: A Forum for Real Conversations
Joanne Lockwood, founder of SEE Change Happen and a leader in inclusion and belonging, brings a palpable energy and a demand for substance to her podcast, Inclusion Bites. Joanne’s style is probing yet warm; she seeks untold stories, actionable ideas, and refuses to let her guests off with easy answers. It’s no wonder Inclusion Bites has become a sanctuary for those ready to have their perspectives challenged—and their empathy expanded.
More than [INSERT_VIEW_COUNT] people have already watched our interview on YouTube, with many more tuning in via Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
If this conversation sparks something for you—questions, pushback, or agreement—I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. I read every one.
Reframing Fear: From Matrix Moments to Tactical Advantage
The greatest breakthrough is found in the process. When Joanne referenced The Matrix and asked if seeing fear in slow motion is akin to Neo’s bullet-dodging epiphany, I recognised the aptness of the metaphor. Fear does feel like time speeding up and collapsing in on you—until you train yourself to step outside instinct.
Military life provided a crucible. In the Marine Corps, your training desensitises you to noise, panic, and expectation. You learn to absorb initial shocks, run towards the source, and slow everything down to a manageable frame rate. That skill, cultivated further in business and sport, became foundational for me.
But here’s what I realised later: slowing down fear lets you choose your response. You’re no longer run by your “chimp brain”—the amygdala’s primal reactions—but instead, you operate from your prefrontal cortex, the seat of analysis, pattern recognition, and reason. This isn’t just theory; it’s an embodied skill forged under pressure and applicable in every context from pitch meetings to gender transition.
The “Pressure Valve” and the True Cost of Repression
I’ve described dysphoria and anxiety not as abstract obstacles, but as literal pressures building inside. Every time I delayed, every instance I suppressed my authentic self, that pressure accumulated—until, inevitably, it demanded release. My “pressure valve” technique was born from necessity: let the steam out, or risk collateral damage to yourself and those around you.
When I first started presenting as female, the relief was profound. Each time I stepped into that truth, the pressure receded. But it wasn’t a one-off exorcism. The pressure returns, the valve needs regular release, and the only real antidote is to keep moving forward—sometimes at a crawl, sometimes in great leaps, but always into greater authenticity.
Joanne articulated the mirror to this process: “Most humans have a fear of the unknown. The biggest debilitator is that unfounded fear.” We discussed how, for trans and gender-diverse people, this often manifests as a terror barrier between oneself and the perceived risk of “unwrapping”—of showing the world who one really is. And yet, crossing the line is almost always less cataclysmic than it first appears.
“You break through and you realise: it’s paper thin,” I reflected. “But soon enough, there’s another barrier. Expanding comfort zones is a lifelong process.”
Stoicism, Authenticity, and the Challenge of Being Known
Part of the solution lies in adopting a stoic approach. That doesn’t mean suppressing emotion; it means embracing voluntary adversity as a training ground. In the Marines, repetition breeds desensitisation—what was panic-inducing becomes routine. In civilian life, intentionally moving towards what scares you conditions resilience. You’re never rid of fear, but you learn to master it.
The endgame, though, is authenticity. Both Joanne and I have experienced the exhaustion of living as two—two voices in the head, two versions negotiating the outside world. In my case, I spent decades compartmentalising my identity because the language, support, and self-awareness simply weren’t available in the 1970s.
When I finally allowed Gwen—my actual self—to “bloom,” I discovered an unprecedented sense of clarity and internally coherent self. Joanne echoed this beautifully: “The biggest thing I noticed when I aligned was the silence in my head. One voice, one thought, one me.”
That is the heart of the matter—living openly grants an alignment and quietude impossible under the yoke of denial.
Integration Over Rejection: Bringing Forward All Our Best Selves
Early in my transition, I found myself running towards a particular idea of femininity—a stereotype formed in adolescence and sharpened by years of longing and idealisation. It took time to accept the wisdom both Joanne and I agreed upon: you don’t transition to become someone else. You transition to become yourself.
Integration was the unlock for me. Rather than discarding my “Peter” self, I looked for the strengths of my former expression and incorporated them into Gwen’s identity. The result was a kind of unicorn power—a blend of strength, resolve, and newfound colour.
Joanne’s imagery—moving from black-and-white living as a man to seeing the world in colour as a woman—resonated deeply. “I just bloom and my personality comes out more,” I offered, “I’m more bubbly, I’m more interactive with people.” The logical extension: authenticity isn’t a single fixed trait; it’s a process of integration, ongoing and deliberately chosen.
The Loneliness Paradox: Surrounded Yet Alone
One of the less-discussed realities for many trans and gender-diverse people is loneliness—not simply the absence of company, but the lack of truly being seen. I’ve met countless others in the LGBTQ+ community who describe a similar paradox. To the outside, you might appear surrounded, even desirable (fetishised, in the case of some trans women), but the relational depth—the willingness of others to be seen with you, to claim you wholly as family or partner—can be elusive.
Joanne and I both count ourselves privileged. Longstanding, loving marriages enabled us to move forward with partners who see us beyond gender. But many do not have this support. The ache of loneliness is acute; the fear of abandonment, often more devastating than fear of physical threat or material loss.
There is no shortcut, but small acts of genuine connection—shared dinners, active communities, attending events with those who live your journey—make a measurable difference. “That connection is vitally important,” I stressed, “even if it’s just going out shopping or having a lunch together. It validates that you’re not alone.”
Living Without Hiding: Choosing Which Hills Are Worth Dying On
With authenticity comes another burden—representation. Like it or not, being visibly trans or gender-diverse means becoming an ambassador against stereotype, often in spaces that are not guaranteed to welcome you. Joanne and I share a wariness towards tribalism: we don’t want to disappear into “trans only” enclaves, but rather to represent our wholeness in the world at large, whether shopping for groceries, travelling, or participating in work and leisure among cisgender peers.
Interestingly, my experience in Florida—a state often portrayed as openly hostile to LGBTQ+ people—proved nuanced. Living in a 55+ community, I expected friction, but found (again, mostly) a live-and-let-live ethos. No, I wasn’t getting invited by everyone for brunch, but on the street and in daily transactions, I’m accepted for who I am. The same goes for navigating clubs and public spaces; I anchor myself, smile, and project the assumption that I’ll be treated well.
“Where will I plant my flag?” is the question I ask myself. Is this a hill worth dying on? Sometimes it isn’t. Minor misgendering, especially from those acting on reflex, doesn’t warrant confrontation, and exhausting myself correcting every slippage isn’t productive. Other times—when tone turns malicious—that’s where I stand firm. This is tactical engagement, not perpetual battle.
Policy, Privilege, and the Fight for Practical Dignity
We’d be dishonest to pretend the world is always tolerant or just. Florida’s laws around gender markers, healthcare access, and ID documentation create friction, inconvenience, and sometimes outright harm for trans individuals. I’ve lost access to affirming healthcare providers as local regulations have tightened, forcing me to consider alternatives abroad.
Yet systems change slowly, and for many, managing the daily administrative reality—navigating passports, driver’s licences, and healthcare bureaucracy—is another vector of pressure and potential dysphoria. The meaningful variable isn’t whether the world is perfectly adapted to you, but whether you have the internal resilience (and sometimes, the privilege) to keep moving forward while pushing for change.
Stoic Growth in an Age of Online Noise
The contemporary world multiplies both challenge and opportunity. Social media and ubiquitous connectivity can spread acceptance, foster community, and offer resources once unthinkable. Yet, they also amplify division, create echo chambers, and, for younger people especially, ratchet up emotional vulnerability to intolerable degrees.
What I see, both in my coaching and my community engagement, is that too many young people have been denied the opportunity to cultivate what I call “spine”—emotional resilience forged by adversity. Over-protectiveness can rob them of the chance to build grit, leaving them shattered by every slight, real or imagined.
Joanne and I agree: there’s no replacement for facing reality. You can’t live in perpetual safe spaces; you must encounter adversity to develop the coping strategies that life demands. Building resilience is iterative—courage is a muscle, strengthened through use and not by avoidance.
The True Measure of Inclusion: Micro-Validations and Community
For those seeking to support a trans or gender-diverse loved one, friend, or colleague, start with this: tolerance isn’t simply enduring difference, but moving beyond initial reactions to meet people at the core of who they are. Genuine inclusion rests on micro-validations—small, sincerely delivered moments of recognition, affirmation, and kindness. You never know which offhand compliment or simple kindness might pull another back from despair or isolation.
A smile, a compliment, a willingness to see the person beyond the label—these are the actions that build communities where people aren’t merely tolerated but belong.
Life’s Purpose: To Grow, Experience, and Transcend
Throughout my conversation with Joanne—and in every chapter of my life—the same pattern asserts itself. Growth isn’t automatic. The world doesn’t owe us comfort or clarity. We have to cultivate courage, pursue authenticity, and keep seeking new experiences even when the old ones still echo.
The premise of “Fear as a Superpower” isn’t bravado, but a hard-won conviction: the more we face our fears, the more we see that they are rarely as formidable as we imagined. Each time we cross a new terror barrier, we expand what’s possible—not only for ourselves, but for everyone watching.
If this journey through inclusion, resilience, and authenticity resonates with you, don’t stay silent. Fear is powerful, but it’s not immune to good company and open conversation. Reach out, share your story, or simply tell someone they look great today—you never know whose courage you might ignite alongside your own.
Song Lyrics from Episode
[Title
Slow Motion Fear (Paper Thin)]
[Synopsis
Drawn from “Fear as a Superpower” (Episode 210), this song transforms raw stories of gender, belonging, and military resilience into something universal and affirming. Each lyric leans into the struggle and release of stepping beyond terror barriers, embracing authenticity, and domesticating fear. With a gentle indie-pop/country arrangement and honest female vocals, it uplifts while remaining grounded in lived truth.]
[Vibe
Start with warm acoustic guitar and subtle piano. Light percussion enters by Verse 2, slowly building with atmospheric pads. Soft harmonies blossom at each chorus. The bridge employs a gentle breakdown, pulling back to voice and guitar before everything rises for the final chorus. Instrumental fade-out uses finger-picked guitar and shimmering pads—leave the listener contemplating and comforted.]
Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Thirty years in borrowed boots, hiding in the crowd,
Florida sun and the New York wind —
I’m still searching for the sound
Of my own name spoken gently, not as a dare
Built a pressure valve within me
Just to make it through the glare.
[Instrumental – acoustic guitar riff with atmospheric pads]
[Verse 2]
In a mirror made of glass and steel, I met my coloured heart,
Split right down the story —
A war of worlds, an anxious start.
You run toward what frightens, you let the courage bloom,
You stumble out of hiding
And finally fill the room.
[Pre-Chorus]
Fear’s not meant to own me, I can shape and bend the line,
See it slowing, see it showing
Everything’s born in its time.
[Chorus]
Terror barriers shatter — paper thin,
You cross through and breathe life in.
This is not pretending,
It’s not just getting through,
It’s taking broken pieces and making something true.
I’ll see fear in slow motion,
And I’ll use it for light —
That’s my superpower
Every day, every night.
[Instrumental – gentle country slide guitar, background vocals humming]
[Verse 3]
I’ve been two voices in one head, shouting over choice,
Until joy picked up the microphone
And broke into my voice.
It’s not erasing history,
It’s roots and branches grown —
Bring all my living selves together
So I never walk alone.
[Bridge]
Be kind — you never see the weight behind a smile,
A compliment can save a life
When hope is in exile.
You don’t have to fit the world,
Let the world come to you —
Be the neighbour, dream in colour,
Hold the rainbow in full view.
[Pre-Chorus]
Fear’s not made for cages. It’s a wild, stubborn friend.
If we run towards the breaking,
We’ll be stronger in the end.
[Chorus]
Terror barriers shatter — paper thin,
You cross through and breathe life in.
This is not pretending,
It’s not just getting through,
It’s taking broken pieces and making something true.
I’ll see fear in slow motion,
And I’ll use it for light —
That’s my superpower
Every day, every night.
[Instrumental Outro – fingerpicked guitar, atmospheric pads swell, soft vocal ad libs (“That’s my superpower…,” “Every night…”), slow fade]
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