Hello, everyone. My name is Joanne Lockwood and I'm your host for the Inclusion Bites podcast. In this series, I have interviewed a number of amazing people and simply had a conversation around the subject of inclusion, belonging and generally making the world a better place for everyone to thrive. To join me in the future, then please do drop me a line to jo.lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk, that's S-E-E Change Happen dot Co dot UK. You can catch up with all of the previous shows on iTunes, Spotify and the usual places. So plug in your headphones, grab a decaf and let's get going.
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Beyond the Closet
The Inclusion Bites Podcast
Beyond the Closet
JL
Speaker
Joanne Lockwood
TR
Speaker
TJ Richards
00:00 Acknowledging the risks and freedoms of independence. 06:12 Struggle with acceptance led to empathy growth.
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“I was always trying to find what I called my safari park, which is kind of this place you can exist where the boundaries were so great, you never hit the fences, you got fed, you got looked after, you got someone caring for you.”
“But that journey to allyship, right, like that journey, I had years to sit with the idea of, wow, I might be gay. And that was really, really hard. And it took me a long time to come to terms with it.”
“I mean, I had a similar challenge where I don't think people actually said I was making the wrong decision. It was more, what about them? So I've married, I've got two children. So my wife was concerned about how it would reflect on her, our marriage, her own sexuality, her own sense of identity and her aspirations and dreams of the future. So, quite rightly, she had a concern about her, and obviously, I thought it was all about me. I didn't realise it was actually about other people, that this transitioning malarkey. And my daughter, our daughter, she found it really, really difficult for many years, probably three or four years, and we didn't talk a lot in that period because she had to come out to her network, her friends, her colleagues, and she was now the daughter of a trans dad, if you like. So I didn't appreciate all these different dynamics at play. That wasn't about me, it was about how I impacted others.”
“I think the empathy is such an important part of just life, right, of being a good human, but also being a good ally is being able to see things from other people's perspective, to actually feel, put yourself in their situation and feel what they might be feeling.”
“If I have to go into a home, to go into one surrounded by my community, supported, to still be myself and not have to worry about that. My identity being acknowledged, respected, understood, on top of everything else that I'm dealing with is the utopia.”
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Full transcript
Today is episode 94 with the title beyond the Closet, and I have the absolute honour and privilege to welcome TJ Richards. TJ described themselves as a programme manager and LGBTQ plus network chair at Santander and also chair of trustees at Q:Alliance. And when I asked TJ to describe their superpower, they said, is talking a superpower? Because they sure do love to do it. Hey, TJ, how are you? Welcome to the show.
Hi, Jo. Thank you so much for allowing me to join you. I've been a huge fan of your show from the beginning and of know you and I have known each other for a couple of years, so really excited to be here. And when we talk about today's episode of beyond the Closet, I think that's such an amazing title because my journey, and I imagine a lot of other people's journey, is very similar, is that working out that you're in the closet in the first place and then that journey of figuring out how the hell you get out of the closet and what that looks like for you and how you live a life without those boundaries. And it's such an exciting topic. I'm really excited to be here today and talk to you about it.
For most people, and I say most, the majority, we've had a census, we know that it's. Majority of people don't even realise there is a closet or something to escape, do they? They just wake up and they're always themselves.
Yeah. And it's so amazing because it's not until you stop to ask yourself that question that you start to realise whether you are in a closet. And maybe closet is an outdated term, I don't know. Certainly the term I grew up with. But finding out, realising that actually you're operating within a set of boundaries that you've not necessarily chosen for yourself, and that could be your sexuality, that could be your gender identity, that could be just the social role that society has put on you based on your perception. To them all of those boundaries play into sort of how you operate in the world. And realising that actually I don't have to is quite liberating and revolutionary in a sense. And it's a journey I think many of us have gone on.
And honestly, I wish the whole world would go on it, because it's a question we can all answer for ourselves. Whatever the answer is, who do I want to be in the world, and how do I be that person in a way that makes the world a better place? Like you said, that's the ultimate goal, to leave it a little bit better than we found it. Right?
Yeah. Essentially, you question whether closet is an outdated term. I suppose when I was going through my self discovery and exploration, I kind of used the metaphor around the three phases. The first one was a cage, a zoo. You're trapped behind the bars, living by somebody else's rules, where you have no negotiation. You're trapped in that cage, basically existing under someone else's rules. And then the fire. Extreme I've talked about was the plains of Africa.
Wild, roaming free. But then you're living in a world where you have got no safety, you've got no guarantee of support, no family around you. You're at a waterhole, being risked by eating by a lion or an alligator or a crocodile jumping out at you. So I was always trying to find what I called my safari park, which is kind of this place you can exist where the boundaries were so great, you never hit the fences, you got fed, you got looked after, you got someone caring for you. If you were ill or sick, someone was there. But you don't feel trapped because the boundaries are so vast and bountiful. And then you can exist in that world outside of the cage, and not in the wild, in this safe zone. And that's what I was always trying to find.
I called it trying to find my safari park existence.
I've not thought about it in that way before, but I think you're right. There's a freedom to not having the bars around you, right? But there's risk to being completely on your own and exposed and unprotected as well. And that feeling, I think, of being completely on your own is unfortunately something that a lot of people in our community and outside of our community, but specifically for this topic, is something that a lot of us have gone through. I mean, I don't know about you, Jo, but when I came out to my family, it was a rocky road. And for a good while, we didn't talk because there was disbelief, maybe, or a full hearted belief that I was doing something that was putting my very soul in jeopardy. And it was their duty to tell me this over and over and over and over again. And I tried real hard and it's so hard to understand from. To be empathetic.
From their point of view, they fully believed that I was making a mistake, that it was a phase, that I was doing something wrong and I fully believed the opposite. But if we had just shouted at each other and then shut down, that period of not talking would have never finished and there would have never been any progress. But that journey to allyship, right, like that journey, I had years to sit with the idea of, wow, I might be gay. And that was really, really hard. And it took me a long time to come to terms with it. And then I remember when I told my parents, in separate instances, because they were divorced, not being fully happy with the way that they responded, but also afterwards realising they had half a second to come to terms with that, whereas I had had years to think about it and come to terms with it and get used to the idea. And actually that allowed me to have a little bit of empathy for their perspective. I didn't agree with it, of course not, because I am me and I'm happy being me, but that space to grow, you have to give that space to think.
And it's. I don't know where I was going with that. Jo, I told you, talking is a superpower. Staying on topic, not necessarily, but I think that it's that having that freedom to make that choice, but knowing that you've got a support network somewhere, family chosen family, community, whatever that is, I think that's so important.
It also respects the boundaries of society. Social constructs. Not saying I want to be constricted by social constructs, but I respect there are constructs to follow. I will have a better experience in my life if I'm willing to play some games and compromise without impacting who I am. I recognise that I have a responsibility to be a good citizen as well. And the world doesn't always revolve around me. I'd like it to, as we'd all would, but it doesn't revolve around me. I think what you're saying there about when you said you shared your sexuality, you shared your gender identity with people and they thought you were making the wrong decision.
I mean, I had a similar challenge where I don't think people actually said I was making the wrong decision. It was more, what about them? So I've married, I've got two children. So my wife was concerned about how it would reflect on her, our marriage, her own sexuality, her own sense of identity and her aspirations and dreams of the future. So, quite rightly, she had a concern about her, and obviously, I thought it was all about me. I didn't realise it was actually about other people, that this transitioning malarkey. And my daughter, our daughter, she found it really, really difficult for many years, probably three or four years, and we didn't talk a lot in that period because she had to come out to her network, her friends, her colleagues, and she was now the daughter of a trans dad, if you like. So I didn't appreciate all these different dynamics at play. That wasn't about me, it was about how I impacted others.
And, as you said, you have to have a level of empathy and compassion for what I've triggered, caused, and not my fault, it just is. But I've been the catalyst for all these changes. And then I found the challenge was being the pain giver, but also the pain fixer. I had to try and make it better or smooth it over, but I was the problem and that was probably the hardest thing I had to come to terms with.
Yeah. And I think you're absolutely right, because it's that understanding. Sorry, it's that understanding that the words that are coming out of your mouth, the decision that you've made to be honest about yourself and who you are and who you need to be in the world to thrive and be happy, that has effects on other people. It does. And I remember one conversation being told, well, what about my grandkids? I'm never going to have grandkids now because of this. And I thought, well, that's because I hate children. Not because I don't hate children, I love children. I'm definitely not.
I'm child free by choice. But it was that they had expectations and plans for their life that involved me, because we're loved ones. And I was changing that dynamic and there were ripple effects of that that needed to be worked through, and we were eventually able to work through those together and arrive at a better place. But it was that acknowledgment that there's a journey that our loved ones have to go on to grow, and some of them are already there. Right. You see, I love seeing stories like I'm on TikTok all the time, of young people coming out to their parents and their parents being like, yeah, but I love you, so it doesn't matter. And it warms my heart, in a way. That also breaks it with happiness.
Right? Like, amazing. And I love seeing the potential of where our society and where humanity can go when we just open ourselves up and say, I love you. That's all that matters. You're happy, I'm happy, I love you. Let's carry on and live our lives. And that's the world I want. And I think that's the world that as a sort of inclusion, belonging activists that we're all working for, right? We want that for ourselves and for future generations. It's got to get better.
It's got to. I won't let it go anywhere else.
It's funny what you're saying there, about watching TikToks, about people coming out to their parents and things. I came out to my mum and I think she was 76 at the time, and it was a coffee shop in the local town. We sat there having a coffee and I was beaten around the bush and started crying and then just blurted it out, sort of thing. And fair play to my mum, she handled it pretty well and she just listened and we talked. I'm not sure how much understanding or context she had around it, but she talked and we talked. And if you try and find resources on coming out to your parents, it's all got young people imagery and young family imagery on it. There's no manual on coming out to your 80 year old family. So I've printed out all these brochures, all these downloads, all these pdfs, and brought them with me and left them in an envelope with a letter in there, because you know the way it is, you come out, you say something, and immediately the person's got more questions or they've misheard or something like that.
So I made sure there was a letter tag everything I was going to say and all this supporting documentation. I said, look, here's an envelope. When you get home, you got to want to think about this and digest it. Here's everything you could possibly want. And we met again a couple of weeks later. She'd obviously read this cover to cover several times, and she was starting to get on message. She wasn't quite ready to embrace me as me, but she said, give me time and let's talk about this, let's evolve this. And I think it took about six months for her to finally, I suppose, to be brave enough to have me openly be with her.
It took a couple of more years to tell my dad, but I did. Eventually, I wrote him a letter, because he's very hard of hearing, and so writing a letter was much easier to put it in context. And bless him. His reply was very supportive. However, it had a don't be hasty, we can fix you type undercut in it, which it was well meaning, it wasn't nasty, it wasn't malicious. It was just this belief that from his perspective and his lived experience, that queer people were broken. And that's how he saw it. But he wasn't disappointed in me.
He wasn't rejecting me. He just wanted to be fixed. I didn't respond to that letter. I left it a year and wrote him another letter and just say, look, this is where I am. This is what I'm doing. This is the success I've had as me. Some examples of businesses I've worked for, things I've done and achieved, sort of. Say, you can be proud of me.
I'm not broken. I don't need fixing. I've made a life and we're loving it. So, yeah, I think you just got to bear with people. And I could have easily fallen out. I could have easily reacted badly. But, yeah, I suppose the thing I've learned is around this talking, communicating compassion. And I suppose the biggest lesson is it's not all about me.
That's the biggest thing I learned.
Yeah, you're absolutely right. And it's funny you saying you wrote a letter and had supporting documents. That's what I know of you, Jo. That's so, Jo. When I came out to my mother first, I said my parents were divorced, so I came out to my mother first. That was left a lot to be desired. And we didn't talk for a while after that, although we've moved on. But when I was so nervous and so scared of coming out to my dad and my stepmom, and I don't know why, because that side of the family is so queer.
So queer. Like, I don't know if there's something in the water in Mississippi or it's just my grandma's amazing genes or what it was, but I had two gay uncles, I had queer cousins. So it wasn't something od or new or something that nobody knew about. But I was terrified. And I was living in England. I just transferred. I was in the US Air Force before I got kicked out. I was transferred over here.
And it was right after September 11. So we were in the Middle east and I thought, right, I had a girlfriend at the time. I'm telling the story in terrible order. I had a girlfriend at the time called Tony, who's now my wife of over 20 years. But I was suddenly faced with the situation of if I were to die or be injured or if anything were to happen to me in what is a war zone, right? And I'm 1920 years old, they would tell my parents, but my parents didn't know Tony existed, so Tony would never know. And that was terrifying, right? And absolutely heartbreaking. So I thought, right, I've got to fix this. So I had friends on the base that knew, so in case something would happen, they would be able to tell Tony.
And they were really supportive, right? They would come pick up letters so that Tony could send them across to me for free through the military network. It was absolutely lovely. And now I am showing my age. Jo, I found one book that was about coming out to your parents later in life, right? Like, not as a child. And it was Ellen DeGeneres's mom who had written a book about her life, and Ellen. And Ellen coming out to her and how she had grown and come to terms with it. And Amazon was just a bookstore back then, right? This is how old I am. And I ordered that book and I had it sent to my dad and my stepmom with.
No, I chickened out. There was no note. Just this book turned up at their door. And then I gave it about a week. And I used my phone call to call home and my stepmom was like, oh, I got your book. And I was like, oh, cool. So what do you think? And she said, tJ, we've always known. And I was like, gosh, thank you.
Love it. The support is there, clearly, but I kind of wish you'd told me because I've spent years terrified of this moment and you've just been waiting for me to find the strength to do it. So I have always teased her that you could have told me a few years ago and saved me some angst. But yeah, the Ellen DeGeneres book. Well, Ellen's mom's book, whose name I can't remember at the moment. Great resource. Probably a little out of date now. There's probably newer ones, but it helped me.
That's wonderful. No, I think it's a great story. I actually asked my mum, did she have any idea or any inkling? And she said she had no idea. No inkling. And majority of my friends, if you had to do a vote, who's the least likely person in the friend group to be trans? I would probably been top of the list. I was not a candidate. I was not a candidate, which is probably why it shocks so many people. I think my friends found it quite hard, because this is always this belief.
You've been living a lie, or every experience we've had has always been this has been there. I never said something, so it was quite hard at times. But I've deliberately walked away from my male only groups and friends because I don't feel that sense of belonging. I'm not included. It's that belongingness. It's not my space, it's not my place anymore. And I was always fighting with it, but I was one of these dues. It's like a small group, it's a 1520, my old male friends in black tie, and I was in a dress, completely welcomed.
And we're driving home afterwards, I offered to give a couple of them a lift back to the Isle of White Ferry, and one of them said, thanks for your story, Jo, as you probably realise, my daughter is trans. And I said, well, I knew your daughter when we used to go camping together as your son. And he said, yeah, it's remarkable knowing you, knowing what you've been through, knowing the story, having the conversation with you over those years. When my daughter came out as trans, I was just so ready for it. It was actually so empowering. And then the person in the other seat said, oh, yeah, my eldest has come out as nonbinary, and we're having this conversation in this car. This is random car of my best friend, sort of thing. And there's three quarters of us, that's four in the car.
Three quarters of us have a trans story or a nonbinary story. And I suddenly thought, actually, I've got more in common with these people than I ever imagined. I imagined that I was an outlier here, rather than them all having a family or a close connection experience. And I felt immediately connected to them in a way I never imagined. So I probably prejudged them as being not understanding. But, yeah, the stories I hear all the time, I'm sure you do as well, and you meet.
Yeah, maybe prejudged. I mean, that's for you to decide. But I think what you probably did is jump started that journey for them, so that when that situation occurred later, they were able to link it back to, well, I've got a friend that's gone through something similar, I can empathise now, and I think the empathy is such an important part of just life, right, of being a good human, but also being a good ally is being able to see things from other people's perspective, to actually feel, put yourself in their situation and feel what they might be feeling. And then sit with that, because that can be quite uncomfortable sometimes, and then work out, what does that feel like for them and how can you support them? And sometimes that support is just being their friend, right? Like just being an open ear that people can talk to. And then suddenly life comes along and your kid tells you, hey, we need to have a conversation and you're prepared. Whereas when we were going through that, maybe that wasn't the case for our parents. So I feel like we're able to. In the positions that we've managed to attain in life, we're able to sort of push that needle just a little bit further for other people so that the doorways are more open for the next generation.
And I think if that's all I accomplish in life, that's enough. Right.
I want to say about back when you were in the military and your partner girlfriend at the time, Tony, and that need to ensure that they had a level of protection, whatever that may be, or respect or whatever, about the relationship, I can resonate with that because our parents are getting to the elderly stage. So my mum's in mid 80s, my dad's 90 ish, Marie's dad is 90 ish, and her mum passed away February this year. So we've been through this care home, we've been through this hospitalisation, we've been through power of attorneys, we've been through wills and probate and all this kind of stuff. What it made us realise is that if we want to have agency in our later life, we have to do something about it now. Otherwise whoever's left may not have their wishes respected. Marie's faced with the thing of me not being around and her having to defend my memory in a certain way against death, registration, all these kind of things, burials or whatever it may be, or dementia in a care home, and making sure that my identity and my being is respected in that situation. So we have to make decisions now around protecting our status and my status, if you like, beyond what I really felt I needed to do for me. I no longer do it for me.
I'm doing it because why do I need a gender recognition certificate? I don't need it, but what I need to do is make sure that I have it for the future. And there are other things. Making sure that it doesn't become a question that Marie has to answer in 20 years time when I can't. And that's the frustration of not being the default, isn't it? It's not being the maturity. It's having to double think everything absolutely.
And that having to think about your loved ones, how can you support them when they have to make these difficult decisions? And maybe you're not there or you're not compass mentors. I know Tony and I regularly talk about our life in the care home, right? Like, we're constantly talking about how we're going to have an amazing life in a care home eventually, with sponge baths and the works. But the reality for so many people is that they go into a care home, and I've heard so many stories of them having to go back into the closet because the situation that they suddenly find themselves in, against their will, in some respects, is that they don't have that support network anymore. They're not supported, they don't feel safe being out. Or maybe their partner isn't acknowledged when they come to visit. And in fact, I was talking about this with a friend, Matt Riley, years ago, who's since gone on to start, I think, tonic housing, which is an lgbt retirement community, and I'm all over that. Can you imagine that would be like, the utopia? If I have to go into a home, to go into one surrounded by my community, supported, to still be myself and not have to worry about that. My identity being acknowledged, respected, understood, on top of everything else that I'm dealing with is the utopia.
I have no idea how I got off on that topic. Jo, I told you're going to need a leash for me.
No, it's fine. I'm visualising the sponge bath and hoping it's the right kind of sponge bath and not purgatory.
I'll leave it up to your imagination things. You get bored when you get old, I reckon.
I think you're probably right. You're probably right. You mentioned you're chair of the LGBTQ plus network at your organisation. What challenges do you find working with organisations at that sort of level to bring sort of queer representation into their policy, marketing, product, whatever it may?
So I'm the network co chair for Santander's lgbt network embrace and I've done it for, I think, about seven years now. My other co chair, Darren Carrison, has been there since the beginning and we make a great team and I think the challenge has been understanding and being able to honour that line between my personal view of total revolution, take over the world, and also understanding that people move at a pace, right. I can't make people run before they can walk. I can't dominate the world and make it the place I want it to be without taking people along on the journey, right? Not that I'm ever going to be a dictator. This isn't that. But it's that understanding that change takes time. Much like we were talking about that journey to allyship, right? It takes time for people to understand and move. And sometimes I have to respect that there's processes involved to update a policy and it can't be done at a snap of a finger, even though I'm like, but it's just three words.
It's that having to temper my enthusiasm to bring it to a level where people can actually follow along and we can make that progress and make it in a sustainable way. Right. If you push the needle too far, it will start to pull back. So you have to do it slow and steady, even pace. And for me, I think it's just the impatience. I want a world where everyone is allowed to be themselves and not allowed expected, celebrated to be themselves. And that's just the expectation. There's not coming out, there's not anything special.
We are just people who are living our lives and that's all it ever needs to be. We're not there yet. There's so much work left to do and it feels like every day, watching the news, as much as I may try to avoid it, that there's more and more piling on the plate of the work that we need to do. And some of it is work that I'm sure we've already done. And it's coming back onto our plate because it feels like maybe there's a backward slide, but it's the impatience for me. I just want everything fixed now, Jo. I want it all now. Like Viola and Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory.
I want it now.
Violet Bo Laguard bought it.
Violet, Viola is my Venus fly up.
Sorry, is she the chewing gum person? She's the chewing gum one, isn't she? That has the blueberry chewing gum and swells right up like a balloon. Yeah, that's the one with a rich daddy. That's the one, yeah, they all have rich daddies. And if I remember rightly so, I'm a consumer, I'm a customer, I'm trans. And I accept that organisations will get it wrong. But the frustration thing is I work with a lot of large organisations like yourselves, like other banks, like other comms companies. And I know that most of the companies out there, the household names, have staff networks, have ergs, have inclusion policies, have trans nonbinary, queer inclusion ethos. I know that the intent and the corporate mission is wholly behind getting it right, but it's that frustration isn't it? You walk in, you make a phone call and everything goes wrong and it's like, what? Come on.
Yes, I've got a deep voice. I'm sorry, I've got a deep voice, but what else can you ask me? And I think I had a challenge with Santander a few years ago, which you helped me out with. I also had a challenge with Metrobank. And this is not to name a shame or to call you out, but what it highlighted was, I'm privileged because I know you. I reached out on LinkedIn or sent you an email with Metrobank. I delivered a trans awareness session to them three months previously, so I knew the head of people. So I was straight onto LinkedIn to the head of people and the people who organised that, the staff network. So I was able to make my problem disappear by going round the roadblock.
The front door says, no, you can't. You must go to branch with id before we can validate you and take you forward. And I said, these aren't the droids you're looking for. And you wouldn't ask anybody else for this information. Why have you chosen to pick on me? Well, we don't believe who you are. Okay, because my voice. Is that what you're saying? You don't believe me because of my voice. So you are discriminating against me under the Equality act.
But the risk profile kicks in. The risk management profile kicks in, and that people are risk averse, aren't they? And that's what's going on here.
Absolutely. And the rampant amount of consumer risk happening in the market at the moment is gobsmackingly large. So I understand the need to protect customers to make sure that they're not being scammed and things aren't being stolen from them. But there is that balance with also treating your customers like people and understanding that we don't all sound the same. And I've had exactly the same situation not too long ago with another company who I won't name because I can't remember if it was exactly them or not, but where essentially they just didn't believe that I was who I said I was because my voice didn't match their perception of who I should sound like. And that was so frustrating, because how can I prove it over the phone? Right? I am me. I have my security questions. Ask me.
I'll tell you about my mom. I'll tell you my life story. What do you want? And I think that is the challenge, because there's that balance between risk and safety and how do we confirm that in a world that is increasingly more and more filled with people who are lying and telling, that difference is hard, and I get it, but I think we can do better. I always think there's more we can do and the processes sometimes leave a little bit to be desired. Right, but what I love about Santander, and even about your story there, is that even if you're raising it with a person to say, right, this is my problem, we need to fix it. It's my job as a network lead at Santander and I imagine the head of people at Metro bank did exactly the same. Right, how did we get here and how can we fix this so that it doesn't happen to other people? And it's that sort of deeper analysis of understanding what's gone wrong and how can we make it better? That constantly happens in the background and there are so many processes in every organisation that I don't know that that work will ever be done, but the fact that they're always willing to listen to me when I say, hey, why don't we talk about this? Because this answer feels wrong. So how did we get here? Their heart's in the right place and I can work with that.
And I found that even when we were working through your situation, we were able to resolve it because people were open to going, oh, you're right, this isn't the right outcome for our customers and we need to make things better. So it's always work to be done, never.
The. For those who are listening, you've probably heard the term calling it out. There's also another term called calling it in, which is you don't just shout, you educate. And I think going through the experience with yourselves and also the Metro bank and many other organisations I've worked through that. My outcome isn't around compensation or wanting someone to prostrate themselves off the floor and apologise. My outcome is Always education. Education, and someone should learn from this and the process will be better next time. And I'm prepared to give you my time and effort and my experience on this to help educate.
And I think that's why I try not to get angry, I try to do it through the education route, which is not always easy. Again, if you're listening to this and you've heard the expression microaggression, putting the burden back onto the person that's been discriminated against or burdened is not always a great idea. But if not me, then who's going to say something? So sometimes you just have to sort of say, okay, I found a gap, let me fix it. Let me get in here and help solve it. But it's burdensome, though, isn't it?
It can be. And what's that phrase? Have I got the spoons for it today? And there are some days I don't have the spoons. And then there are other days where I'm like, right, I feel like this is my job, I need to make this better so that it doesn't affect other people and whether that's. We had a situation a while ago now where we were going into a supermarket and we were on our way. We were on a road trip, right, and we just needed to grab some bits, snacks for the road, because road snacks are important and use the loo. And Tony came in with me. We went into the women's loo because there were only women's and men's options. Fine.
And we were stopped by a cleaner who was mopping the floors right outside and said to my wife, you can't come in there. You can't go in there. And that moment of being like, do I have the spoons? To argue, what are we going to do? And you have that split second to make that decision, how are you going to deal with it? And sometimes you don't have the spoons. And I think that's okay. In this case, we did have the spoons. And, like you, I knew the right people to talk to in that organisation to fix that situation. And it ended up with the company involved going through some training around diversity and inclusion and actually just letting people use the loo like it's okay. So, yeah, I think helping people, knowing people helps, but the role of the people is that it's their job to fix it then, or to put things in place so that that's less likely to happen again.
Nobody's perfect, but we need to make it better.
As you're talking now, I'm sniggering, if you've listened to this, you can't see me sniggering, because it brought back a story that I experienced pre Covid three or four years ago as I'm a member of an ex armed forces club in the UK in London. So I'm ex RAF and I was going in and as I was going through the front door, someone started shouting out, excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir. And I was just ignoring it, thinking I'm not going to play their game. So I just ignored it. And eventually they said, excuse me, without the sir on the end. And I turned around and said, what? And he said, whatever it was I needed to do, I said, it's not sir, it's madam. By the way, not happy with you shouting sir at me, but yeah, whatever.
So we dealt with the problem. So I went to the reception and said, look, can I just speak to the person that handles this kind of complaint, please, whoever it may be? And they came down and see me and they said. And I said, look, I'm not trying to make a big deal of this. All I want to do is just try and create some education here that they just dropped the sir off the end of the. Off the end of the sentence, say, excuse me, and just talked about degenerating conversations with things. And he said, well, we do all this quality stuff and we have our regular EDI training. And I said, well, clearly it's not working, so I'd like you to sort of take it more seriously and have a conversation. And we're just wrapping up the conversation and this person turned around to me and said, thank you, sir, that was really useful.
And I went and we paused at that point there. I looked at him, he looked at me and I said, so you've just proved the point. Clearly your EDI training is a tick box and doesn't work because it's just misgender me in this conversation, having had a conversation about misgendering. And he went, write it a sheet. He went, I'm really sorry, I'll write up a complaint against myself as well. I said, but no, it's not about that. It's about meaningful change. But, yeah, I recognise that my voice id, my voice print is in the male range and it's really hard for humans to sort of override some of these primary senses and responses.
We're so ingrained. So I get it. But it just highlighted that people believe they're doing the EDI tick box every year training. It's not meaningful, it's not embedding it, it's not diving into lived experience. And that's what I think we need to uplift in society is better lived experience training and experiential stuff.
And I think that links back to what you were saying about your friends. They may have been on an EDI course at work, they may know tangentially about EDI and those sort of theories, but I think for humans in general, until you live through that, until you have some lived experience of interacting with people who aren't the same as you, that's when it drives it home for you. And that's why I think it's so important for going out and meeting other people, talking to other people, whether that's university, college, those are great examples of when people, a lot of people first sort of mix outside of their little bubble for the first time. And that's why I think education can be such a powerful agency for change. Right, and for inclusion, because suddenly people are interacting with someone who has a different life experience than them, and maybe they use different pronouns, or maybe they're like me. I said earlier, I am a woman. Like a tomato is a fruit. Yes, but also kind of.
So I understand that people have that journey to go on, and I think the key to that is talking and interacting with other people in a genuine way and having the spoons at the time to have those conversations, like you said, and make that change in those tiny incremental moments, they build up to suddenly your mate going, oh, yeah, my daughter came out as Trans, and I was perfectly okay with it because I dealt. I'd gone through this before and I knew what it meant. Those incremental changes build up. A snowflake is a blizzard. I love that.
I'm a great believer. A snowflake on its own will hit the ground and melt. A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche. It creates change and landscapes move. So, yeah, I'm a great believer. Call me a snowflake all you like, but I stand with others.
I'm all right. Absolutely.
I was out with a friend the other day and we were talking about the Rishi Sunak baiting he did. A man's a man, a woman's a woman. And I listened to it and I said, you're right, I am a woman. You're right. I don't disagree with what you've just said. A woman's a woman. I am a woman. So I found it very difficult to get angry with that statement, because I agree with it.
I'm a woman. I pay my taxes. As far as HMRC are concerned, as far as my doctor's concerned, as far as my dentist, my Vat registration, my company's house, everything I have treats me as a woman, identify me as a woman. Passport, driver licence, everything. So legally, as far as I'm concerned, and as far as the government concerned, I'm a woman. So a woman's a woman. I agree. We don't need to get into adjectives and splitting hairs about what constitutes.
You say your definition of womanhood is different to other people's definitions of womanhood, or nonbinaryhood or however you assign yourself and describe yourself, so we all have our different nuances. And I think I'm a realist that a lot of gender is a social construct anyway. It's based time and space, experience of a man, a woman, a nonbinary person, queer person today is different to 200 years ago. It's different in the UK than it is in South America, for example. The role responsibilities and the expectations of gender are different. So, yeah, gender expression, gender conformity is a social construct. Gender identity for me is innate. It's the same.
My identity is innate as my sexuality and other things about me. But how I perform, how I meet the expectations of society, is a complete construct. That's what people get hung up about. That's what the debate is. We're debating the construct which is made up shit, isn't it? We made this shit up. We could change this shit, but it's.
Great because if we made it up, it means we can make up something new. Right? There's an opportunity in that. There's a hopefulness in that for me, because even though I rail at any constructs being put on me, I also recognise that because it's made up, we can just make up something new. And that sounds so much easier, right? We can just make up something new and it's not that easy. I get it. My impatience coming out again. But there's a hopefulness there that we could. That we could incrementally make those steps and change it.
Because society isn't set in stone. It's constantly changing, constantly evolving. We're not in the UK, we're not the same society now that we were when I moved here in 2001, just in that instance, things have changed pre Covid versus post Covid or during COVID All of these things. Constant change, constant evolution. And that means constant opportunity for betterment.
Do you think some people just. And I don't want to be stereotypical or judgmental here, even if it does sound like I am, but I find that some people want to be righteous and police people back into their lane or into their box or into their definition of right and wrong. And they're intolerant, if you like, of their rule set being breached, whereas I think you listen to what you're saying. I certainly. I think once you've breached those rule sets, you realise that they're social contracts, they're made up, and then you can be more adaptable and more flexible about other rules. You go, actually, that's just made up. We can unmake it. We can remake it, we can paint it a different colour and it's still fine.
But some people never challenge themselves to escape their rule set of programming.
Yeah, I do agree. And I think linking that back to your safari analogy earlier, it is scary coming out of a safe, enclosed space where maybe it is bars, but you know where they're at. You know what the expectations are and you know what to do to thrive in that world. You might not like it, but you know what the expectations are. You step out of that comfort zone, you start questioning things and challenging things. There's a fear in that and I see that a lot when I experience some of that. Hatred is not the right word, that's too strong, I think. But some of that pushback that I see in different areas of society, around people just being who they are and being allowed to just live, I think some of that pushback is a fear based response of, if you can question things, where does it end? And that is such an intriguing question, because where does it end? For me, that's a question of endless inevitability, possibility, solutions, making things better.
But until you get to that mindset, it's scary. And I try to have empathy even for that, because there must be some fear there about living outside of where you've always been, right? Stepping outside of your comfort zone is uncomfortable. And for some people that allowing us the option or acknowledging that we have the option to do that, questions their decisions to not do that. And I think there is fear there. And that's where I try to let my empathy come in. Sometimes it's harder than others, I'm not going to lie, but I think people generally think of themselves as good people and operate from that viewpoint. And so I try to give them a little bit of love and understanding, even on the hard days, such hard days.
Sometimes I just think if anyone's listening to this, who would identify maybe as cis straight? Have you ever actually sat there and tried to challenge or ask the question who am I? Or why am I? And something I realised going back when I was going through my questioning, trying to figure myself out, was I was trying to solve the problem, I was trying to understand why or how, or what being trans meant and how it affected me. And I was saying to myself, well, I'm an intelligent human being, I must be able to square this circle, I must be able to round this off, I must be able to fix it, I must be able to go right, I've solved the problem, I'm now okay, I don't need to do this. I rationalised it out. Did you go through this sort of, kind of, there must be a solution here somewhere sort of phase?
Yeah, I did. And it was funny. I mean funny, it's funny now. It was traumatic at the time. This whole podcast, Jo, is about me revealing my age to people. I very vividly recall in the mid ninety s, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen years old. And there was a show on tv called Zena Warrior Princess, right? And it was a show that was a lesbian awakening for a lot of women my age. And I remember I watched it religiously every week.
And I identified with the taking the lead, being assertive, finding a problem, fixing a problem, making things better, getting a happy ending. And there was a lot of queer subtext in that show. But I remember that it inspired me, but it also terrified me. And that being terrified was the part that I was like, I need to fix it. And my solution at the time, I had read a book, I don't remember which book. I'm sure somebody will write in and tell us that basically one of the premises that was made was fake it until you make it, whatever you pretend to be for long enough, you will become. And in that sort of context, it was a warning, if you pretend to be the bad guy for long enough, you'll turn into the bad guy. I think was the point of the story.
But I took it as if I pretend to be straight for long enough, I will be. And so I found the problem. I'd found a solution. And then my implementation of the solution was to lay in bed every night in my room, in the dark, close my eyes and chant, it's okay to be gay, but it's not for me. It's okay to be gay, but it's not for me. And I would repeat it out loud and in my head, in the dark, in my little bedroom, until I fell asleep, sometimes in tears. Part of me thinks, looking back, how sad that was, that I was imposing my own bars on myself because of fear. Part of me is also a little bit proud that even in my fear, I wasn't being homophobic.
It's like, it's okay to be gay, it's just not for me. So I definitely tried to fix it. My solution was chanting. It was ineffective. I was definitely gay. That didn't change. Neither did my love for Zena. Still a huge fan.
But yeah, it's that chanting, that trying to fix it, trying to lean really hard into other things to cover it up. I went to military boarding school. I went to a military university. I joined the military, all of these things to try and take my mind off of the fact that maybe I'm gay and how terrifying that concept was and then having those bars removed. When I was kicked out of the military, they eventually found out that I was gay. And at the time, that was illegal. So suddenly finding myself without those constraints and being able to explore was a blessing. In the end, I was able to find myself.
And I love my life now. I'm happy. I'm thriving. What is the movie? 30, flirty and thriving? I'm definitely not 30, but I love my life now. And it was because those bars, I was able to escape those bars, whether on my own or because the bars were taken off of me, I was able to find a new place. And I think that was the point of it. Hopefully.
Hopefully it sounds by listening to you there that the hardest coming out you've done in your life is coming out to yourself.
God, yes. Absolutely. And I don't know why I was talking about this in my therapy session recently. I love therapy, recommend it for everybody. But it was that my father's side of the family, and I was living with my dad at the time, so queer. So, you know, there were so many. There are so many queer and ally people in that side of the family. And I don't know if there's something in the water in Pascagoula, Mississippi, if maybe it's the swamp air, maybe it's just my grandma's great genes, I don't know.
But the family is. We could have had our own pride parade in the early 90s, right? And so I should have known. I feel now I should have known that it was okay. But because it was me, it was that chant. And even looking back and analysing that chant, I came up with, it's okay to be gay, but it's not for me. Well, why not? Why not? What was the fear? And the fear was that it would close doors for, you know, at the time, I was adamant. I was be. I was going to go into the military.
I was going to be a test pilot. I was going to transfer to NASA. I was going to join the astronaut programme, and I was going to go to Mars. These were the things that were happening, and none of that could happen if I was gay. Because it was illegal to be gay in the military. It was couldn't. We had don't ask, don't tell at the time, which essentially meant they wouldn't come out and ask you, TJ, are you gay? But if anyone found out I was gay, that counted as telling. So I essentially had to be in the closet or risk being outed and then kicked out, which was eventually what happened.
Because it turns out I'm terrible being in the closet. Once I accepted who I was absolutely awful at it. Never been so happy to fail at something in my life in the end. But traumatic at the time. Absolutely traumatic. Because the thing that I was holding on to was what my future was going to be and how it was going to look. And that was being taken away because of an innate part of me, just because of who I was in love with and who I loved. And it didn't seem fair and it wasn't fair.
It was Bs. It was no good. It forced me to question things and to answer things that I hadn't allowed myself to in the past. So in the know, it worked out. But God, it was a long road getting there.
I think we need a queer mission to Mars now. We need to start a campaign. Yeah, because I think you'd look so cool on the martian surface with your blue hair, red background, you'd be rocking it.
Absolutely.
We have some rainbow patches and we'll have a rainbow flag on Mars.
Listeners can't see it, but I have got a rainbow NASA pin on my desk. Even now, I still like to dream.
Well, I suppose the sadness of your story there is balanced by the fact that had you joined with those aspirations today, you would probably succeed and not be afraid to do that. I mean, I know that in the US you're one election away from it, going back again into the problems and what we see in Florida and the south and Texas and other states that are kind of, I guess, red states in american politics language. There was some really worrying precedents being set around legislation. You said don't say gay. It's not just don't say gay, it's being illegal. It's being actively outed and ostracised around trans kids, all this kind of stuff. And we see that leaking into the UK as well, don't we? We see a lot of this. We do far right rhetoric and I mentioned Rishi Sunat speech, but we see the chair of the Equality Human Rights Commission, we see our home secretary, we see our health secretary, we see the problematic guidance that's been put out around supporting young trans people in schools and education.
Sometimes it feels like we're just under threat and under battle every day, just existing, doesn't it?
It does. And so many of our community are just exhausted right when the essence of our existence is debated and air quotes around debated because we're just existing. We're just people living our lives. What is the debate that is exhausting? And when you see progress, I think certainly I did, and maybe a lot of people as well, allowed myself to become extremely hopeful. Oh, we're just on the other side of the rainbow bridge, right? We're almost there. We've almost made it. And then you see that pendulum start to swing back, and it starts in other places, and then you see things start to leak over here, and it's exhausting, and it's terrifying, because at the end of the day, the only agenda that I'm pushing is to let me and my friends exist peacefully, right? We just want to live our lives. I want to be treated like a normal human being and allowed to seek my own happiness.
That's all I want. I don't feel like that's asking for something revolutionary. But more and more, it feels like other people see that as treasonous, almost. And it's an interesting place to be in, in history. And I remain forever a Pollyanna. And I am convinced that there are enough good people in the world that are standing together and will staunch the flow of backwardsness that will help us to move forward, or at least stop the slide and then move forward. And I have to have that hope, because otherwise, what is there? I think it's going to be an interesting time, and I reckon in 100 years, they'll be studying this period in history, and I hope they're studying it from a place of happiness that we made the right choice and that we chose love and acceptance, and not that we chose to put more bars on people's closets and force them into smaller and smaller cages. I have that hope.
Thank you, TJ. That was a really powerful way to finish this episode. And if you're listening today, drop a comment in, tell us what you think. I'd love to hear your thoughts. That was a really powerful close by, TJ. So, yeah, share your thoughts as well, TJ, thank you. That was truly amazing. It's been an honour to spend an hour and a half or so just chatting with you and getting to know you better.
How could people get hold of you, connect on LinkedIn, something like that? Would that work?
Absolutely. You can find me on LinkedIn. TJ Richards. I think there's only one of me, certainly only one of me with blue hair. So if you just look for the blue streak down the middle of the fake mohawk, that'll be me.
Fabulous. Fabulous. And finally, just a thank you to you for listening in. I couldn't do this without your support. Get to the end saying hi. If you're not already subscribed, then please do subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, whatever your chosen platform is, and leave comments. And why not give us a like? Or why not give us a five star recommendation? Tell your friends, tell your colleagues. I've got loads of other guests coming up.
We're going to hit our hundredth episode soon, and I'm sure you'll be equally inspired by them over the next few weeks, months, or even hopefully, years. Of course, if you'd like to be a guest, I'd love to have you on, so drop any feedback and suggestions to me. Joanne Lockwood at jo.Lockwood@seechangehappen.co.uk and finally, my name is Joanne Lockwood. It has been an absolute pleasure to host this podcast for you today. Catch you next time. Bye.
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More from this recording
🔖 Titles
Living Out Loud: Embracing Identity and Inclusion
Out of the Closet: Navigating LGBTQ+ Identity and Belonging
Unveiling Identity: Journeys Beyond the Closet
Embracing Authenticity: Stories of LGBTQ+ Identity and Acceptance
Transcending Boundaries: Embracing Identity and Inclusion
Belonging Beyond the Closet: Stories of LGBTQ+ Identity
From Hiding to Flourishing: Embracing LGBTQ+ Identity and Inclusion
Breaking Free: Journeys of LGBTQ+ Identity Discovery and Acceptance
Identity Unveiled: Navigating LGBTQ+ Journeys of Belonging
Beyond Concealment: Embracing LGBTQ+ Identity and Inclusion
ℹ️ Introduction
In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, host Joanne Lockwood and guest TJ Richards delve into the deeply personal journey of coming out as Trans, Nonbinary or Queer. They share their own experiences, from surprising friends and family with their transitions to the challenges of acceptance and understanding. Their discussion raises important issues faced by the LGBTQ+ community, such as the need for empathy, support, and future planning. Join us as we explore the power of lived experience, the importance of meaningful interactions, and the hope for a more inclusive and accepting future.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Acknowledging unfamiliar perspective and risks of vulnerability when facing lack of support and understanding, particularly in the LGBTQ+ community. Difficulty in communication and seeking empathy during personal challenges.
06:12 They disagreed but found empathy for each other.
12:18 Person came out to 76-year-old mum at coffee shop, found lack of resources for older parents.
21:28 Promoting empathy and support for others, passing on experience to the next generation.
24:59 Discussing support for loved ones and the need for LGBT-friendly care homes.
33:18 Discussion of challenges in balancing risk and safety, expressing a desire for improvement within organisations. Appreciation for a culture of listening and willingness to address problems.
36:59 Encountered pushback, used connections to resolve, led to diversity training.
40:33 Experiencing diversity through interaction drives home importance of education for inclusion and change.
46:39 Stepping out of comfort zone induces fear and pushback in society.
50:25 Identified with leadership, queer subtext, inspired but terrified, faking it until making it caution.
57:01 Concern about political and social issues in the US and UK regarding LGBTQ+ rights and legislation.
01:02:09 Approaching 100th episode, seeking guests, contact details.
📚 Timestamped overview
00:00 Acknowledging the risks and freedoms of independence.
06:12 Struggle with acceptance led to empathy growth.
12:18 Elderly mum handled my coming out well.
21:28 Encouraging empathy and understanding for others' experiences.
24:59 Supporting loved ones in care home decisions.
33:18 Seeking balance and improvement in challenging situations.
36:59 Encounter with cleaner led to workplace change.
40:33 Interacting with different people can drive change.
46:39 Stepping out of comfort zone brings fear.
50:25 Identified with leadership, problem-solving, queer subtext. Terrified, inspired, fake it till you make it.
57:01 Fears of regressive politics spreading globally.
01:02:09 Upcoming 100th episode, join as guest. Contact Joanne.
Episode Tags
LGBTQ+ community, Transgender experiences, Queer representation, Coming out stories, Inclusion in organisations, Gender identity journey, Supportive communities, LGBTQ+ rights, Diversity and inclusion, Acceptance and understanding
A Subtitle - A Single Sentence describing this episode
Join Joanne Lockwood and special guest TJ Richards as they candidly share personal experiences and thought-provoking discussions on coming out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer, and the hope for a more accepting future.
Episode Summary with Intro, Key Points and a Takeaway
Welcome to The Inclusion Bites Podcast! In this episode titled "Beyond the Closet," host Joanne Lockwood engages in a poignant conversation with guest TJ Richards, delving into the depths of their personal journey towards embracing their authentic self while navigating societal constructs.
The episode encompasses a rich tapestry of experiences, emotions, and insights, offering a compelling exploration of the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. TJ candidly shares their own struggles with acceptance, including the impact on aspirations and the journey of coming out to family members. Joanne also opens up about the complexities of transitioning and the effects on her own family dynamics.
The conversation delves into the broader issues of belonging, understanding, and support within the LGBTQ+ community. Both guests highlight the critical need for empathy, education, and meaningful interactions to drive societal change and foster genuine inclusion.
The episode touches on diverse themes such as queer representation in organisations, the challenges faced in care homes, and the importance of future planning to protect LGBTQ+ rights. TJ also shares their experiences of discrimination and the slow pace of change, invoking a deep sense of empathy and understanding for the struggles faced by individuals within the LGBTQ+ community.
The key takeaway from this episode is the potent reminder of the transformative power of empathy, support, and understanding in fostering an inclusive society. Listeners are encouraged to tune in to gain valuable insights, broaden their perspectives, and contribute to creating a more welcoming world for all.
💬 Keywords
coming out, Trans, Nonbinary, Queer, LGBTQ+, transition journey, support, empathy, LGBTQ+ community, societal change, diversity and inclusion, discrimination, family acceptance, gender, identity, LGBTQ+ retirement communities, queer representation, EDI training, gender expectations, social construct, catalyst for change, communication, acceptance, discrimination, education, personal journey, hope, future, love, LGBTQ+ community's challenges
💡 Speaker bios
TJ Richards is a passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility. Growing up, TJ struggled with their own identity and coming out, but has since become an outspoken voice in the community. With a background in media and communications, TJ is now a regular guest on various shows, including "Beyond the Closet," where they share their personal journey and insights on living authentically. TJ is dedicated to helping others navigate their own coming out process and live a life without boundaries.
❇️ Key topics and bullets
Primary Topic: Personal Journeys of Self-Discovery and Coming Out
TJ's Struggles with Acceptance
Impact on Career Aspirations
Emotional Toll of Denying Identity
Joanne's Experiences with Transitioning
Impact on Family Dynamics
Navigating Societal Constructs
Primary Topic: Support and Acceptance from Family and Community
Family Reactions to Coming Out
Fear of Rejection
Gradual Acceptance
Supportive Environment Within Family
Impact on Self-Acceptance
Emotional Encouragement
Primary Topic: Challenges Faced by LGBTQ+ Community
TJ's Frustration with Acceptance
Exhaustion and Fear
Constant Battle for Existence
Societal Constructs and Identity
Impact on Aspirations
Navigating Expectations and Norms
Primary Topic: Hope for an Inclusive Future
Envisioning Acceptance and Love
Optimism for Change
Collective Efforts for Inclusion
Impact on LGBTQ+ Community
Hopes and Aspirations
Call for Understanding and Compassion
The Hook
"Ever wondered what it's like to break free from the constraints of societal norms and live authentically? Our latest podcast episode delves into a powerful journey of self-discovery and the hope for a more accepting future. You won't want to miss this!"
"Are you ready to explore the complexities of personal identity and the challenges of living without constraints? Join us as we tackle real, authentic conversations about self-discovery and acceptance. It's a journey worth taking."
"Discover the power of breaking free from the confines of societal expectations and embracing your true identity. In our latest podcast episode, we explore the journey of self-discovery and the longing for a more inclusive world. Get ready for a compelling, eye-opening discussion!"
"Ready to dive into the journey of realizing and living beyond the constraints of societal expectations? Our latest podcast episode holds profound insights on self-discovery, belonging, and hope for a future of acceptance. Buckle up for an inspiring ride!"
"Get ready to immerse yourself in a narrative of breaking free from the limitations of societal constructs and embracing authenticity. In our latest podcast episode, we unpack the emotional journey of self-discovery and the yearning for a more inclusive society. It's a story you won't want to miss!"
🎬 Reel script
Introducing the latest episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast! Join host Joanne Lockwood and guest TJ Richards as they share powerful insights on coming out, navigating societal constructs, and advocating for LGBTQ+ inclusion. From personal journeys to addressing discrimination, this episode delves into the challenges and hopes of the LGBTQ+ community. Listen in to gain valuable perspectives and join the conversation on creating a more accepting and inclusive world. Tune in to the Inclusion Bites Podcast for an inspiring dialogue on belonging and acceptance.
🗞️ Newsletter
Subject: The Inclusion Bites Podcast: Beyond the Closet with Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards
Dear Inclusion Bites Community,
We are thrilled to share with you the latest episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, where host Joanne Lockwood is joined by the inspiring guest, TJ Richards, for a heartfelt conversation on the theme "Beyond the Closet."
In this episode, Joanne and TJ delve into the deeply personal experiences of coming out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer, unpacking the challenges, emotions, and hopes that accompany this profound journey. They discuss the impact on family dynamics, societal expectations, and the broader LGBTQ+ community, emphasizing the need for empathy, support, and understanding at every stage.
The discussion also delves into the complexities of navigating societal constructs while staying true to oneself, highlighting the importance of building inclusive communities and shaping a future where everyone can live authentically and without constraints.
Joanne and TJ's conversation is a powerful testament to the resilience, hope, and unwavering spirit of the LGBTQ+ community. Their perspectives offer valuable insights into the barriers faced by individuals in their quest for acceptance and belonging, and the collective vision for a more inclusive and compassionate world.
Tune in to this compelling episode as Joanne and TJ explore "Beyond the Closet," sharing personal stories, advocating for change, and inspiring hope for a future of love and acceptance.
Listen to the episode now on [Podcast Platform] and join the conversation on social media using #InclusionBitesPodcast.
Warmest regards,
[Your Name]
The Inclusion Bites Podcast Team
🧵 Tweet thread
🌈 Step into the powerful world of #InclusionBites as @jo_lockwood1965 and @teejrichards dive deep into the impactful journey of living beyond the closet. 🌈
1/ Feeling seen and understood is an essential part of life, especially for the LGBTQ+ community. From Joanne's surprising transition journey to TJ's struggles with acceptance, their shared experiences speak volumes.
2/ The conversation delves into the challenges of belonging and understanding, painting a vivid picture of the complexities involved in navigating societal constructs while staying true to oneself.
3/ From TJ's tireless advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights to Joanne's impactful work through her Inclusion Bites podcast, the episode exemplifies the power of meaningful interactions to drive societal change and understanding of diversity and inclusion.
4/ Through their candid discussions, they shine a light on the undeniable need for empathy, support, and open-mindedness, emphasising the importance of education and meaningful interactions in bringing about positive change.
5/ TJ's hope for a future of love and acceptance resonates deeply, leaving viewers with a powerful message of hope and inspiration. It's a must-listen conversation for anyone passionate about inclusivity and belonging.
#Pride #LGBTQ+ #InclusionMatters
Guest's content for their marketing
As a guest on The Inclusion Bites Podcast hosted by Joanne Lockwood, I had the opportunity to engage in a powerful and meaningful conversation about the journey of self-discovery and living beyond the constraints of societal norms. We delved into the challenges, successes, and hopes for the LGBTQ+ community in today's world.
During the podcast, Joanne and I unpacked my personal journey of coming out and the complexities of navigating identity in a world that often struggles to fully embrace diversity and inclusion. Together, we discussed the importance of empathy, support, and understanding for individuals within the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the need for future planning to protect identities and rights, especially in later stages of life and in care homes.
Our conversation also touched on the challenges of bringing queer representation into organisations at various levels, from policy to product. We shared stories of encountering discrimination and our approaches to addressing these issues through education and dialogue, rather than anger or seeking compensation.
Furthermore, we explored the concept of the "closet" and the journey of self-discovery, as well as the impact it has on one's aspirations and relationships. The episode resonated deeply with me as I highlighted the struggles of accepting my own identity and the impact it had on my personal and professional aspirations.
One of the key takeaways from our discussion was the significance of incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs and the impact of meaningful interactions with individuals from different backgrounds. We both advocated for addressing issues through education and learning, underlining the importance of taking action to bring about positive change.
My experience as a guest on The Inclusion Bites Podcast provided a platform to engage in candid and insightful dialogue, amplifying the voices of the LGBTQ+ community and fostering greater understanding and empathy. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my story and contribute to the ongoing conversations around inclusion and belonging.
I hope that my participation in this podcast episode contributes to a more compassionate and accepting world, where individuals are celebrated for their authentic selves. Thank you to Joanne Lockwood for facilitating this enriching conversation and for providing a platform to discuss topics that are crucial to advancing inclusivity and understanding.
With hope for a future of love and acceptance,
[Guest’s Name]
Questions Asked that were insightful
During the interview, Joanne and TJ engaged in thoughtful discussions about the challenges and experiences of coming out as trans, nonbinary, or queer. Their insights into topics such as the need for support, navigating family acceptance, and the impact of societal constructs could be turned into a series of FAQs for the audience. Here are some potential FAQs inspired by the conversation:
How can individuals navigate the challenges of coming out to their family members?
What are some effective strategies for addressing discrimination and promoting inclusion in the workplace?
What is the importance of support networks for individuals going through the process of coming out?
How can society's understanding of gender and sexual identity be improved to create a more inclusive environment?
How does one come to terms with their own identity while facing societal norms and expectations?
What are the complexities and responsibilities involved in navigating societal constructs while staying true to oneself?
What can be done to support LGBTQ+ individuals in care homes and other later-life care settings?
How can organisations better support LGBTQ+ employees and customers, particularly in the context of changing attitudes and beliefs?
These FAQs would provide the audience with valuable insights and guidance, drawing from the personal experiences and expertise shared by Joanne and TJ during the interview.
Pain Points and Challenges
Title: Addressing Pain Points and Challenges in LGBTQ+ Inclusion
In their candid conversation on The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards shed light on crucial pain points and challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community. Their insights provided valuable content to address these issues and drive meaningful change. Here's a breakdown of the specific pain points and challenges discussed during the podcast, along with content focused on addressing each one:
Lack of Support During Transition Journey
Content: "Navigating Your Transition Journey: Finding Support and Resources"
Understanding the emotional and practical needs of individuals going through transition.
Identifying support networks, both within the LGBTQ+ community and externally.
Raising awareness about accessible resources for navigating legal, healthcare, and social aspects of transition.
Discrimination and Misgendering Experiences
Content: "Combatting Discrimination: Empathy, Education, and Meaningful Interactions"
Addressing the impact of discriminatory experiences on mental health and well-being.
Promoting empathetic and respectful language use and interactions within organisations and communities.
Educating individuals and institutions on the importance of gender-affirming practices and policies to prevent misgendering.
Challenges of Coming Out to Family and Friends
Content: "Coming Out: Navigating Acceptance and Understanding"
Providing guidance for individuals navigating the complex process of coming out to family and friends.
Highlighting the importance of communication, understanding, and setting boundaries during the coming out journey.
Showcasing positive and supportive experiences of coming out to inspire and reassure those facing similar challenges.
Intersectional Challenges in Care Homes and Later Life Planning
Content: "Inclusive Aging: Supporting LGBTQ+ Individuals in Later Life"
Exploring the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in care homes and eldercare environments.
Advocating for inclusive policies and practices to support diverse gender and sexual identities in later life planning.
Highlighting the importance of creating LGBTQ+ friendly retirement communities for a supportive and inclusive ageing experience.
Transforming Organisational Policies for LGBTQ+ Inclusion
Content: "Organisational Change: Policies, Marketing, and Product Inclusion"
Discussing strategies for integrating LGBTQ+ inclusivity into organisational policies, marketing, and product development.
Providing insights into the benefits of diverse representation and authentic inclusion for both employees and customers.
Offering actionable steps for creating a culture of belonging and respect within organisations.
These content pieces aim to provide practical guidance, raise awareness, and advocate for meaningful change in addressing the pain points and challenges discussed by Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards on the podcast. By sharing this valuable content, The Inclusion Bites Podcast continues to be a catalyst for driving positive transformation and inclusivity.
Blog article based on the episode
Title: Beyond the Closet: Navigating the Journey of Self-Discovery and Acceptance
Opening Hook:
In an ever-evolving world, the journey of self-discovery and acceptance is a feat that many individuals face, especially within the LGBTQ+ community. It's a journey fraught with challenges and triumphs, as highlighted by the powerful conversation between Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards in the Inclusion Bites Podcast Episode, "Beyond the Closet." Their stories shed light on the complexities of coming out and living authentically, inspiring hope and understanding for a more inclusive future.
The Problem:
The discussion digs deep into the personal journeys of Joanne and TJ, both of whom faced internal and external struggles in their quests for self-acceptance and understanding. From surprising friends and family with their transitions to the fear of rejection and discrimination, their experiences encapsulate the trials many LGBTQ+ individuals encounter in their pursuit of being true to themselves. The challenges of belonging, understanding, and seeking acceptance are prevalent themes, portraying the raw emotions and complexities involved in navigating societal constructs while embracing one's true identity.
Actionable Items:
Empathy and Support: An essential takeaway from the episode is the importance of empathy and support for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community. By fostering understanding, compassion, and promoting safe spaces, we can contribute to a more inclusive environment where everyone feels accepted and valued.
Planning for the Future: The conversation also touches upon the need for future planning to safeguard individuals' identity and rights, particularly in later life and care homes. By advocating for policies and resources that protect the LGBTQ+ community's well-being and identity, we can pave the way for a more secure and affirming future.
Inclusion in Organizations: Joanne and TJ delve into the challenges of integrating queer representation into organisations at policy, marketing, and product levels. Encouraging diversity, inclusivity, and equal opportunities within all aspects of an organisation fosters an environment where individuals can thrive and be celebrated for their authentic selves.
Call to Action:
As we reflect on the powerful insights shared by Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards in "Beyond the Closet," it's clear that the journey of self-discovery and acceptance is multifaceted and requires collective action to drive positive change. Let's draw inspiration from their stories and strive to create a world where everyone can live authentically without fear of judgement or discrimination.
As we navigate our own journeys of self-discovery, let's seek to understand, support, and uplift one another, embracing the uniqueness that each individual brings to the table. By challenging societal norms and advocating for inclusivity in all spheres of life, we can contribute to a world where diversity is celebrated and everyone feels a sense of belonging.
Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards serve as beacons of inspiration, reminding us of the power of storytelling and meaningful dialogue in fostering understanding and driving societal change. Let's honour their stories by being allies, advocates, and champions of inclusivity, and by creating spaces where everyone can thrive and truly be themselves.
As we stand at the threshold of a more inclusive future, let's embark on this journey together, with empathy, determination, and an unwavering commitment to creating a world where everyone can live beyond the confines of the closet, embraced for who they truly are.
In crafting sustainable and meaningful change, we invite you to keep listening to the Inclusion Bites Podcast for more inspiring conversations and insights that continue to expand our understanding of inclusion, diversity, and belonging.
Remember, the journey of self-discovery and acceptance is a testament to the strength and resilience of the human spirit. Let's walk this path together, with love, understanding, and unwavering support for one another.
By: [Your Name]
[Your Position/title]
[Podcast Name: The Inclusion Bites Podcast]
[Episode Title: Beyond the Closet]
[Guest Name: TJ Richards]
End of the article
The standout line from this episode
"Beyond the Closet, it's about the time when you are free to be who you are."
❓ Questions
What were some of the key challenges and successes TJ Richards experienced during their transition journey and coming out as nonbinary?
How did TJ and Joanne discuss the importance of empathy and support for individuals within the LGBTQ+ community, particularly in care homes and later life?
What are some examples of discrimination that TJ and Joanne encountered on their journey to self-acceptance and living authentically?
How did TJ Richards and Joanne Lockwood address the need for queer representation within organisations at a policy, marketing, and product level?
Can you explain the significance of the metaphor "a snowflake on its own will hit the ground and melt. A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche" as it relates to collective action for change?
How did TJ and Joanne discuss the impact of coming out on family members and the need for understanding and support from loved ones?
What insights did TJ Richards offer as the network co-chair for Santander's LGBT network, Embrace, regarding balancing personal enthusiasm for change with the need to bring people along at their pace?
What were the key moments of struggle and self-discovery that TJ shared about their personal journey as a gay person, including navigating their aspirations and acceptance of themselves?
How did TJ and Joanne discuss the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community in the US and the UK, and their hopes for a more accepting future?
What were the key takeaways from TJ's personal journey and the episode about realizing one's identity and living without constraints?
FAQs from the Episode
Title: Beyond the Closet - A FAQ on LGBTQ+ Identity and Inclusion
Q: What is the significance of coming out as trans, nonbinary, or queer?
A: Coming out is a deeply personal and often challenging process. It involves revealing one's authentic self, navigating societal expectations, and seeking acceptance and understanding from family, friends, and the wider community.
Q: How can individuals support their LGBTQ+ family members and friends during their coming-out journey?
A: Providing a supportive and non-judgmental environment is crucial. Listening with empathy, educating oneself on LGBTQ+ issues, and respecting the individual's self-identification are key ways to offer support.
Q: Why is the LGBTQ+ community's journey beyond the closet so significant?
A: The journey beyond the closet represents a quest for self-realization, acceptance, and the ability to live authentically without fear of discrimination or persecution. It reflects the broader struggle for LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion in society.
Q: What challenges do LGBTQ+ individuals face in care homes and later life?
A: LGBTQ+ individuals may encounter discrimination, lack of understanding, and difficulties in expressing their authentic selves in care homes. This highlights the need for inclusive policies, training, and communities that support diverse identities.
Q: How can organisations promote inclusion and representation for LGBTQ+ individuals?
A: Organisations can implement policies that support LGBTQ+ employees, create inclusive marketing and product strategies, and provide education and resources to foster understanding and respect for diverse identities.
Q: What is the role of allies in supporting the LGBTQ+ community?
A: Allies play a crucial role in advocating for LGBTQ+ equality, challenging discrimination, and creating inclusive environments. Their support can help amplify the voices and experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals.
Q: What steps can be taken to address discrimination and promote understanding?
A: Education, empathy, and meaningful interactions are essential in challenging discrimination. Initiatives focused on lived experience, diversity training, and respectful dialogue can promote understanding and change attitudes.
Q: How can individuals advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion in their communities?
A: Individuals can engage in advocacy efforts, support LGBTQ+ organizations, promote inclusive policies and practices, and actively challenge discrimination and prejudice in their communities.
Q: What does the concept of "beyond the closet" mean for the future of LGBTQ+ individuals?
A: "Beyond the closet" represents a future where LGBTQ+ individuals can live openly and authentically, without fear of discrimination or marginalization. It encompasses the hope for a more inclusive and accepting world for all.
Q: What are some key takeaways from the podcast episode "Beyond the Closet"?
A: The podcast episode highlights the importance of empathy, support, and understanding for LGBTQ+ individuals as they navigate their identities. It also emphasizes the need for inclusive policies, education, and advocacy for a more inclusive society.
Tell me more about the guest and their views
In this episode, TJ brings a wealth of experience and insight as a programme manager and LGBTQ+ network chair at Santander, as well as the chair of trustees at Q:Alliance. TJ shares deeply personal experiences of struggles and self-discovery as a gay person. They express frustration at the slow pace of societal change and discrimination faced in different settings, such as public spaces and organisations.
TJ's views encompass the need for empathy, support, and understanding for LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly in later life and care homes. They also express enthusiasm for the concept of LGBTQ+ retirement communities and advocate for incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs.
Overall, TJ's perspectives provide a powerful and illuminating lens into the challenges, hopes, and aspirations of the LGBTQ+ community, sparking thoughtful discussions on inclusion and the journey beyond the constraints of the "closet".
Ideas for Future Training and Workshops based on this Episode
Some potential ideas for future training and workshops based on this episode could include:
LGBTQ+ Inclusive Care Homes: A training programme focused on creating inclusive and supportive environments for LGBTQ+ individuals in care homes. This training would educate staff on the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ residents and highlight best practices for creating affirming and safe spaces.
Diversity and Inclusion in Marketing and Product Development: A workshop aimed at guiding organisations on integrating queer representation and diversity into their marketing strategies and product development. This could cover topics such as inclusive messaging, diverse imagery, and the importance of authentic representation.
Empathy and Understanding in LGBTQ+ Support: A training session centered around cultivating empathy and understanding when supporting individuals going through their LGBTQ+ transition journey. This workshop could provide practical tools for offering meaningful support and creating a more inclusive and accepting environment.
Navigating Discrimination: A workshop focused on equipping individuals with strategies for navigating discrimination and advocating for change, particularly in customer-facing roles. This would address issues such as voice perception discrimination and balancing risk and safety with individual respect.
LGBTQ+ Retirement Communities: An educational session exploring the concept of LGBTQ+ retirement communities, highlighting the unique needs of LGBTQ+ individuals in their later years and considering how to create supportive and inclusive environments for this demographic.
These workshops and training programmes could help organisations and individuals gain a deeper understanding of the LGBTQ+ experience, fostering an environment of empathy, support, and inclusivity.
🪡 Threads by Instagram
Post 1: "In today's episode of Inclusion Bites, we dive into the journey of self-discovery and the challenges of living authentically beyond the closet. 🌈 #InclusionBites #Threads"
Post 2: "TJ Richards shares their personal struggle with self-acceptance and the impact of coming out. It's a poignant and insightful conversation. #LGBTQ+ #InclusionBites"
Post 3: "Joanne Lockwood and TJ delve into the complexities of belonging and understanding, highlighting the importance of empathy and support for the LGBTQ+ community. 🏳️🌈 #InclusionBites #Threads"
Post 4: "The power of meaningful interactions, understanding, and empathy in driving societal change is at the heart of this episode. Join the conversation. #InclusionBites #Threads"
Post 5: "TJ's hope for a future of love and acceptance echoes a powerful message of resilience and unity. A must-listen episode on embracing diversity and inclusion. #InclusionBites #Threads"
Leadership Insights - YouTube Short Video Script on Common Problems for Leaders to Address
Title: Leading with Inclusion: Navigating LGBTQ+ Identities in the Workplace
[Opening shot of a diverse and inclusive workplace environment]
Voiceover: Welcome to the Leadership Insights Channel, where we explore the nuances of leadership in today's diverse workplaces.
[Cut to host speaking while sitting in a professional setting]
Host: Today, we're going to discuss a common challenge faced by leaders when it comes to supporting team members who are Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer.
[Cut to key points displayed on screen]
Voiceover: Problem: Leaders may struggle to understand and support employees navigating LGBTQ+ identities.
[Cut to animated visual of a leader approaching an employee]
Voiceover: Action 1: Educate Yourself
Host: It's crucial to educate yourself on the experiences and challenges faced by individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. This can be achieved through resources, training, and open dialogue.
[Cut to a scene of a leader engaging in a training session or workshop]
Voiceover: Action 2: Foster Inclusive Environments
Host: Create an inclusive environment where everyone feels respected and valued. Use inclusive language and be mindful of the impact your actions and behaviours have on others.
[Cut to a clip of colleagues engaging in a diverse and inclusive team meeting]
Voiceover: Action 3: Support and Empower
Host: Support your team members by providing resources and advocating for their needs. Empower them to bring their whole selves to work without fear of discrimination.
[Cut to a scene of a leader having a supportive conversation with an employee]
Voiceover: Outcome: A Positive and Inclusive Workplace
Host: By taking these actions, you can contribute to a positive workplace culture where everyone feels included, respected, and valued.
[Closing shot of diverse team members working together]
Voiceover: Join us next time for more valuable insights on leadership in today's ever-evolving world.
[End screen with the Leadership Insights Channel logo and social media links]
Host: Thanks for watching. Remember, the power of inclusive leadership can make a difference.
[Listening to sequence to be played interlaced with the visuals]
SEO Optimised Titles
Navigating LGBTQ+ Retirement Challenges & Hope for Inclusive Communities | TJ @ Santander
Catalysing Change: Impactful Conversations on Gender Identity & Acceptance | TJ @ Santander
Transitions & Transformations: Challenges Faced in LGBTQ+ Spaces | TJ @ Santander
Email Newsletter about this Podcast Episode
Subject: Unveiling the Unspoken: A Peek Beyond the Closet
Hey there, inclusion enthusiasts!
I hope you're ready for an eye-opening journey because in this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, we're delving deep into the theme "Beyond the Closet." Trust me, you won't want to miss this one!
Let me give you a sneak peek of what's in store:
Insights into the LGBTQ+ Experience - Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards share personal stories, showcasing the challenges and triumphs of coming out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer.
The Importance of Support and Understanding - Discover the critical role empathy and support play in the LGBTQ+ journey, and the impact of meaningful interactions on societal change.
Beyond the Closet: Challenges and Hope - Explore the hurdles faced by the LGBTQ+ community, and embrace TJ's hopeful vision of a future filled with love and acceptance.
Call to Action: Embracing Diversity - Learn how you can play a part in creating a more inclusive world, starting from within your own spheres of influence.
A Snowflake with a Billion Friends - Uncover the power of collective action for change, as Joanne and TJ delve into the impact of incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs.
Unique Fact: Did you know TJ Richards is the network co-chair for Santander's LGBTQ+ network Embrace for seven years? That's some serious dedication and leadership right there!
Now, here's your call to action: Tune in to this episode and open your heart and mind to the incredible stories and insights shared. Let's take a step beyond the closet and embrace a world filled with empathy, support, and understanding for all.
I can't wait for you to experience this thought-provoking episode. Stay tuned and get ready to be inspired!
Warm regards,
[Your Name]
Potted Summary
Welcome to The Inclusion Bites Podcast. In today's episode "Beyond the Closet", Joanne Lockwood and guest TJ Richards delve into the complexities of coming out and living authentically within the LGBTQ+ community. They discuss the journey of self-discovery, experiences of discrimination, and the hopes for a more accepting future.
👉 Challenges of coming out
👉 Need for empathy and understanding
👉 Importance of LGBTQ+ representation
🗨️ "A snowflake on its own will hit the ground and melt. A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche."
🗨️ "Societal constructs can be altered and improved."
🗨️ "We are the change that we want to see."
Tune in for an insightful conversation on LGBTQ+ experiences and a vision for a more inclusive world.
LinkedIn Poll
Opening Summary:
Based on the latest episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast featuring TJ Richards, the discussion delves into the personal journeys and challenges of coming out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer. The conversation highlights the need for empathy, support, and understanding for LGBTQ+ individuals, as well as the importance of making incremental changes to drive societal inclusivity. Let's reflect on these insights in our poll question.
LinkedIn Poll Question:
In light of the latest #InclusionBites episode, what's your stance on LGBTQ+ inclusion and understanding?
Poll Responses:
Empathy & Support 🌈 #LGBTQ+
Incremental Change 🏳️🌈 #Diversity
Education & Interaction 🌍 #Inclusivity
Challenging Norms! 🙌 #Equality
Why Vote:
Join the conversation on LGBTQ+ inclusion and understanding. Your input matters in shaping a more inclusive future for all.
Highlight the Importance of this topic on LinkedIn
🌈 The Inclusion Bites Podcast episode "Beyond the Closet" with TJ Richards and Joanne Lockwood is a powerful reminder of the importance of LGBTQ+ inclusion in the workplace. 🏳️🌈
💬 TJ's personal journey and experiences shed light on the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, highlighting the need for understanding and support.
🌍 As a Senior Leader, HR or EDI professional, it's crucial to engage in these conversations to create inclusive environments and drive positive change.
🎧 Let's keep the dialogue open and work towards a more inclusive future for all. #InclusionMatters #LGBTQ+Inclusion #DiversityandInclusion
L&D Insights
Senior Leaders, HR, and EDI professionals can gain valuable insights from this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast. 🎙️
"Aha moments" from this resource include the significance of empathy and support for LGBTQ+ individuals, especially in later life and care homes. Understanding the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in care homes and the need for future planning to protect their identity and rights is crucial. 🌈
It highlights the need for meaningful interactions, education, and lived experience in driving societal change and understanding of diversity and inclusion. The power of collective action for change is emphasised, using the metaphor of a snowflake on its own versus a snowflake with a billion friends as an avalanche. 🌨️
In their roles, they should focus on creating supportive communities and advocating for LGBTQ+ retirement communities. Additionally, they should prioritise initiatives that promote empathy, respect, and understanding within their organizations. They need to understand the impact of subtle discrimination, address it through education and learning, and be agents of positive change. 🏳️🌈
#InclusionMatters #LGBTQ+Awareness #DiversityandInclusion #EmpathyInAction #ChangeAgent
Using these insights, they can create a workplace where everyone feels a sense of belonging and can be themselves without fear of discrimination. Let's work towards a more inclusive future!
Shorts Video Script
Title: Beyond the Closet: Embracing LGBTQ+ Identities 🌈
[Text on screen: Beyond the Closet: Embracing LGBTQ+ Identities 🌈]
"Hey everyone! Today’s conversation was powerful. We discussed the importance of empathy and support for those in the LGBTQ+ community. Whether it's a journey of self-discovery, encounters with discrimination, or coming out to loved ones, it's about understanding and acceptance."
[Text on screen: Empathy and Support for LGBTQ+ Community]
"We talked about the need for future planning to protect identity and rights, particularly in later life and care homes. It's about creating an environment where everyone can be themselves, no matter their age or circumstances."
[Text on screen: Protecting Identity and Rights]
"We shared experiences of discrimination and the need for organisations to balance risk and safety with treating customers as individuals. It's not about anger or seeking compensation, but about education and learning to bring about change."
[Text on screen: Balancing Risk and Safety with Individuality]
"Remember, incremental changes in attitudes can lead to significant societal change. Let's work together to create a world where everyone can be themselves without fear or judgment. 💪"
[Text on screen: Creating a World of Acceptance]
Thanks for watching! Remember, together we can make a difference. Stay connected, stay inclusive! See you next time. ✨
Glossary of Terms and Phrases
LGBTQ+ Retirement Communities - These are living communities specifically designed to cater to the needs and interests of LGBTQ+ individuals in their retirement years. These communities provide a supportive and inclusive environment for aging members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Gender as a Social Construct - This concept refers to the idea that gender identities and roles are not inherent or biologically determined but are influenced by societal norms, expectations, and cultural perceptions of gender. It recognises that gender is shaped by social and cultural factors rather than being purely a biological distinction.
Voice Perception - This refers to the discrimination or bias individuals may face based on the perception of their voice, particularly in relation to their gender identity. It highlights the challenges faced by individuals whose voices may not align with stereotypical gender expectations.
EDI Training - This stands for Equality, Diversity, and Inclusion training, which focuses on educating individuals and organisations about the importance of promoting equality and diversity, and creating inclusive environments for people from all backgrounds.
Queer Mission to Mars - This phrase, used figuratively in the episode, refers to the concept of LGBTQ+ individuals overcoming challenges and stereotypes to achieve extraordinary goals, such as space exploration, and the need for inclusivity in all aspects of society, even in seemingly unconventional or pioneering contexts.
Q:Alliance - This is an organisation mentioned in the episode and it is likely the name of a charitable LGBTQ+ advocacy or support group. While the specific details might vary, it is likely focused on providing resources, support, and advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community.
Santander's LGBT Network Embrace - This refers to an internal LGBT employee network within the company Santander. It focuses on promoting inclusion and support for LGBT employees within the organisation, likely through networking, awareness activities, and support initiatives.
These niche concepts and terms exemplify the depth and diversity of the topics discussed in the episode, reflecting the need for specific support and understanding of the LGBTQ+ community's experiences, challenges, and aspirations.
SEO Optimised YouTube Content
Focus keyword: Positive People Experiences, Culture Change
Title: "Embracing Positive People Experiences and Cultivating Culture Change | #InclusionBitesPodcast"
Tags: Inclusion, Diversity, LGBTQ+, CultureChange, Equality, GenderEquality, LGBTQ+Community, PersonalGrowth, Transgender, Identity, Belonging, Empathy, Acceptance, LGBTQ+Rights, Podcast, Empowerment, Inspiration, PositiveChange, Community, InclusionMatters, PositivePeopleExperiences,
Killer Quote: "A snowflake on its own will hit the ground and melt. A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche." - Joanne Lockwood
Hashtags: #InclusionBitesPodcast #LGBTQ+ #PositiveChange #CultureChange #DiversityAndInclusion #Belonging #Acceptance #Empathy #GenderEquality #Equality #EmbracingDifferences #CommunitySupport #Empowerment
Why Listen:
In this compelling episode of the Inclusion Bites Podcast, we delve into the remarkable journeys of self-discovery and acceptance with TJ Richards. We explore the transformative power of Positive People Experiences and the pivotal role they play in driving Culture Change. Tune in as we navigate the challenges and triumphs encountered by the LGBTQ+ community and unlock meaningful insights that inspire empathy, understanding, and a shared vision for an inclusive future.
Closing Summary and Call to Action:
Embracing Authenticity: Uncover the significance of Positive People Experiences in fostering self-acceptance and cultivating a culture of inclusivity.
Reimagining Culture Change: Explore the transformative impact of collective action in reshaping societal attitudes and promoting equality for all.
Navigating Diversity: Learn about the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community and the importance of empathy, support, and allyship in creating a more inclusive world.
Advocating for Change: Understand how incremental shifts in attitudes and beliefs can lead to a positive Culture Change, driving meaningful progress for diverse communities.
Outro:
Thank you, the listener, for tuning in. If you enjoyed the episode, remember to like and subscribe to the channel. For more insightful content and resources, visit the SEE Change Happen website: https://seechangehappen.co.uk and listen to additional episodes of The Inclusion Bites Podcast at: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
Root Cause Analyst - Why!
The key problems related to this episode include challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in gaining acceptance and understanding from society, discrimination and lack of support in various settings, and the slow pace of societal change towards inclusivity.
Why do LGBTQ+ individuals face challenges in gaining acceptance and understanding from society?
LGBTQ+ individuals face challenges due to societal norms and expectations around gender and sexuality, leading to discrimination, stigmatization, and lack of understanding.Why do societal norms and expectations create discrimination and lack of understanding?
Societal norms and expectations stem from historical prejudices, stereotypes, and limited exposure to diverse experiences, resulting in fear, ignorance, and resistance to change.Why do historical prejudices and stereotypes persist in society?
Historical prejudices and stereotypes persist due to ingrained biases, lack of diverse representation in media and education, and a reluctance to challenge traditional beliefs and values.Why do ingrained biases and lack of diverse representation in media and education persist?
Ingrained biases and lack of diverse representation persist due to systemic inequalities, power structures, and the perpetuation of narrow narratives, inhibiting the promotion of diverse voices and perspectives.Why do systemic inequalities and power structures perpetuate narrow narratives?
Systemic inequalities and power structures perpetuate narrow narratives due to the complexities of societal change, the resistance to challenging established norms, and the need for more comprehensive, inclusive policies and practices.
In summary, the root cause of the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals lies in the persistence of historical prejudices and stereotypes, ingrained biases, and systemic inequalities that perpetuate narrow narratives, leading to discrimination and lack of support. Potential solutions include inclusive education and awareness programmes, diverse representation in media and leadership positions, comprehensive anti-discrimination policies, and advocacy for systemic change to address power imbalances.
TikTok/Reels/Shorts Video Summary
Focus Keyword: Positive People Experiences
Title: Embracing Positive People Experiences | #InclusionBitesPodcast
Tags: Inclusion, Belonging, LGBTQ+, Culture Change, Diversity, Equality, Acceptance, Empathy, Understanding, Advocacy, Transgender, Nonbinary, Queer, Identity, Support, Community, Change, Education, Conversation, Inspiration, Podcast,
Killer Quote: "a snowflake on its own will hit the ground and melt. A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche" - Joanne Lockwood
Hashtags: #InclusionMatters #DiversityandInclusion #LGBTQ+Community #Belonging #CultureChange #GenderIdentity #EmpathyMatters #EqualityforAll #PodcastHighlight #AdvocacyWorks #NonbinaryPride #PositivePeopleExperiences #SeeChangeHappen #Empowerment
Description:
In this engaging episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, we delve into the powerful journey of embracing Positive People Experiences. Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards share insightful conversations around navigating culture change and championing inclusive communities. From personal struggles and triumphs to the vision for a more accepting world, this episode offers compelling stories and thought-provoking insights. Listen in to expand your understanding and be inspired to join the movement for change. Embrace the transformational impact of Positive People Experiences and be a part of shaping a more inclusive future.
Outro:
Thank you, the listener, for tuning in. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the channel for more empowering content. For further information, visit the SEE Change Happen website: https://seechangehappen.co.uk. Listen to the full episode of "The Inclusion Bites Podcast" here: https://seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen
Stay curious, stay kind, and stay inclusive - Joanne Lockwood
Canva Slider Checklist
For the opening slide: "Best Practices for LGBTQ+ Inclusion in Business: A Checklist for HR and DEI Leaders."
For the closing slide: "Connect with Joanne Lockwood at SEE Change Happen for expert guidance on inclusive workplaces. Visit https://seechangehappen.co.uk to learn more."
Episode Carousel
Slide 1:
Image of Joanne and TJ with a thought-provoking question overlaid: "What does it really mean to come out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer?"
Slide 2:
Image of Joanne and TJ engaging in deep conversation with the caption: "Join us as we explore the journey of self-discovery and belonging."
Slide 3:
Engaging quote from the podcast episode: "Empathy and support are crucial for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community – it's about understanding and acceptance."
Slide 4:
Inspiring quote from the episode: "Incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs have the power to create a more inclusive society."
Slide 5:
Call to action with a striking podcast logo and text: "Listen to the full episode of 'Beyond the Closet' on The Inclusion Bites Podcast for a powerful discussion on LGBTQ+ experiences and the path to true acceptance. Link in bio."
#InclusionBites #LGBTQ+ #PodcastPower
6 major topics
Title: A Candid Conversation About LGBTQ+ Journeys
As I sat down with TJ, our conversation delved into the complex and multifaceted aspects of LGBTQ+ journeys. Understanding and respect for these experiences are paramount in enabling a more inclusive society. Throughout our discussion, several key themes emerged, shedding light on the challenges, hopes, and resilience within the LGBTQ+ community. Here are six major topics we delved into:
The Journey of Self-Discovery
TJ shared their personal struggles with accepting their sexuality, recounting the impact it had on their aspirations, including their desire to join the military and become an astronaut. Delving into this topic, we explored the difficulties of coming out to oneself and the profound impact it can have on one's life choices and sense of identity. This journey of self-discovery is unique for each individual, marked by moments of self-acceptance, fear of rejection, and the internal battles waged in pursuit of authenticity.
Curiosity: Encouraging self-reflection and understanding of one's own identity and the complexities involved in the journey of self-discovery could prompt an enlightening discussion.
The Impact on Family Dynamics
We delved into the influence of coming out on family members. TJ and I discussed the varying reactions and the need for understanding and support during this crucial phase. I shared my experiences of transitioning and the effect it had on my family members, highlighting the complexities and responsibilities involved in navigating societal constructs while staying true to oneself. This topic illuminated the intricate interplay of individual identity and familial relationships within the LGBTQ+ context.
Curiosity: Understanding the diverse reactions within families when a member comes out could prompt important conversations about empathy and acceptance.
Challenges of Inclusivity
TJ discussed the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community in care homes, emphasizing the importance of supportive communities and expressing enthusiasm for the concept of LGBTQ+ retirement communities. Our conversation touched upon the obstacles to inclusivity in various settings, highlighting the need for safeguarding rights and identities, particularly in later life. This theme underscored the significance of creating inclusive environments that honour and accommodate diverse identities.
Curiosity: Exploring the specific challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in care homes and residential settings could prompt discussions on inclusive policies and support systems.
Representation and Acceptance in Society
We explored the hurdles encountered in bringing queer representation into organisations at a policy, marketing, and product level. TJ shared a personal experience of encountering discrimination while on a road trip, leading to diversity and inclusion training for the company involved. This brought to the forefront the ongoing struggles for representation and acceptance in society and the importance of education and meaningful interactions in driving societal change. Our conversation underscored the significance of incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs and the impact of meeting and interacting with people from different backgrounds.
Curiosity: Delving into the challenges of LGBTQ+ representation and acceptance in various spheres of society could ignite discussions on fostering inclusive environments at all levels.
Hope for a More Accepting Future
Amidst the challenges and frustrations, TJ shared their hope for a future of love and acceptance. We discussed the potential for altering societal constructs and improving inclusivity. This theme illuminated the resilience and optimism within the LGBTQ+ community, offering a glimpse of hope for a more accepting and embracing future. TJ's hopeful outlook unearthed the power of perseverance and the resounding belief in the possibility of positive change.
Curiosity: Exploring the aspirations and hope for a more inclusive future could ignite conversations about the role of hope in driving societal progress.
Resilience and Empowerment
Throughout our conversation, TJ's personal journey and experiences encapsulated the unwavering resilience and empowerment within the LGBTQ+ community. Despite the challenges and setbacks, the conversation echoed the perseverance and strength of individuals in asserting their identities and advocating for inclusion. This topic underscored the importance of celebrating and amplifying stories of resilience and empowerment within the LGBTQ+ community, fostering understanding and solidarity.
Curiosity: Highlighting stories of resilience and empowerment within the LGBTQ+ community could instigate conversations about strength and advocacy in the face of adversity.
In conclusion, our discussion uncovered the varied and profound aspects of LGBTQ+ journeys, shedding light on the intricacies, challenges, and aspirations within the community. By delving into these themes, we hope to encourage deeper understanding, empathy, and ultimately, greater inclusivity for all.
TikTok Summary
Dive into the captivating world of LGBTQ+ experiences with Joanne Lockwood and guest TJ Richards on The Inclusion Bites Podcast! Join us for an insightful conversation about coming out, belonging, and advocating for change. 🏳️🌈✨ Listen to the full episode at seechangehappen.co.uk/inclusion-bites-listen #InclusionBites #LGBTQ+ #PodcastExchange
Slogans and Image Prompts
Slogan: "Embrace authenticity. Beyond the Closet."
AI image generation prompt: Create an image of a rainbow-coloured closet door slightly ajar, with sunlight streaming through, surrounded by vibrant flowers and the quote "Embrace authenticity. Beyond the Closet" in elegant, flowing typography.
Soundbite: "A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche."
AI image generation prompt: Design an image of a single snowflake surrounded by a diverse group of other snowflakes, creating a powerful avalanche effect. Include the quote "A snowflake with a billion friends is an avalanche" in bold lettering.
Quote: "Love has no limits. Neither should acceptance."
AI image generation prompt: Generate a heart-shaped globe with diverse flags representing love and acceptance, accompanied by the quote "Love has no limits. Neither should acceptance" in a stylish, modern font.
Hashtag: #UnapologeticallyMe
AI image generation prompt: Create a striking image of a silhouette breaking free from chains, representing embracing one's true self, with the hashtag #UnapologeticallyMe prominently featured alongside the image.
Slogan: "Diversity: Our Strength, Our Pride."
AI image generation prompt: Generate a vivid image of diverse hands interlocked, forming a powerful and unbreakable bond, accompanied by the slogan "Diversity: Our Strength, Our Pride" displayed prominently in colourful, bold lettering.
Soundbite: "Stand tall, be proud. Your uniqueness is your power."
AI image generation prompt: Design an image of a tall, majestic tree with vibrant, multi-coloured leaves, symbolising strength and diversity, along with the quote "Stand tall, be proud. Your uniqueness is your power" in an elegant, uplifting font.
Quote: "Courage comes from within. So does acceptance."
AI image generation prompt: Create an image of a glowing heart surrounded by the words "courage" and "acceptance" intertwined with vibrant ribbons, representing the inner strength and self-acceptance. Include the quote "Courage comes from within. So does acceptance" prominently displayed.
Hashtag: #FlourishInYourTruth
AI image generation prompt: Generate an image of a flourishing, blooming flower breaking through concrete, symbolising the resilience and growth in embracing one's truth, with the hashtag #FlourishInYourTruth featured boldly alongside.
These slogans, soundbites, quotes, and hashtags can be used to create impactful and meaningful merchandise, encouraging individuals to embrace their true selves and celebrate diversity and inclusion.
Inclusion Bites Spotlight
Introducing TJ Richards, our esteemed guest on "Beyond the Closet," this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast. TJ brings a wealth of experience as a programme manager, LGBTQ+ network chair at Santander, and chair of trustees at Q:Alliance. Their journey from struggles of self-acceptance to becoming a prominent advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion provides a unique perspective on identity and belonging.
TJ's insights encompass the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, particularly in care homes and the workplace, as well as their personal journey of realisation and living authentically. Their passion for creating supportive communities and driving progressive change shines through as they address the need for empathy, understanding, and supportive environments for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community.
Join us in exploring TJ's experiences and views on the complexities of transgender and nonbinary identities, as they share their hope for a more inclusive and accepting future. Through their advocacy and personal journey, TJ inspires us to challenge societal constructs and advocate for a world where everyone can be their authentic selves.
This episode delves into TJ's unique voice and perspective relating to LGBTQ+ inclusion, identity, and the journey towards a more inclusive society. Their passionate advocacy and powerful insights are sure to provide a thought-provoking and inspiring experience for our listeners.
Tune in as TJ Richards shares their personal journey of self-discovery, challenges, and hopes for the future on The Inclusion Bites Podcast's "Beyond the Closet."
YouTube Description
🌈 Beyond the Closet: Challenging Society's Norms for LGBTQ+ Acceptance 🌈
In this thought-provoking episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, host Joanne Lockwood and guest TJ Richards fearlessly delve into the transformative journey of coming out as Trans, Nonbinary, or Queer. Delve into the struggles, hope, and resilience of individuals navigating societal constructs while staying true to themselves.
Insights:
TJ Richards shares the mix of appreciation and frustration experienced during their transition journey, highlighting the need for future planning to protect LGBTQ+ identity and rights. The conversation also explores the challenges of bringing queer representation into organizations and the importance of empathy and understanding for the LGBTQ+ community.
Closing Takeaways:
Join Joanne and TJ as they advocate for incremental changes in attitudes, meaningful interactions, and the power of collective action for societal acceptance. Discover the impact of coming out on family and the need for communication, compassion, and support. Embrace the hope and opportunity in reshaping societal constructs for a more inclusive future.
Hashtags:
#InclusionBitesPodcast #LGBTQ+Journey #TransRights #NonbinaryPride #QueerRepresentation #SocietalAcceptance #CollectiveAction #EmpathyMatters #InclusiveFuture #ResilientIdentity
10 Question Quiz
Question 1:
Which metaphor does Joanne use to emphasize the power of collective action for change?
A. A pebble in a pond
B. A snowflake on its own
C. A ray of sunshine
Question 2:
What did TJ express frustration over regarding the pace of change?
A. The lack of resources available
B. The slow progress towards acceptance
C. The need for more vocal advocacy
Question 3:
What role does TJ hold at Santander?
A. Programme manager and LGBTQ+ network chair
B. Director of marketing
C. CEO
Question 4:
What concept did Joanne and TJ discuss the challenges of bringing into organizations at a policy, marketing, and product level?
A. Diversity and inclusion
B. Sales targets
C. Sustainability initiatives
Question 5:
According to Joanne, what is the importance of incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs?
A. It is essential for political change
B. It has a minimal impact on society
C. It ultimately leads to societal change
Question 6:
Which term did TJ use to describe the struggle and self-discovery as a gay person?
A. A fight
B. A journey
C. A battle
Question 7:
What does Joanne highlight as the burden of addressing discrimination?
A. The mental health impact
B. The financial cost
C. The emotional toll
Question 8:
What did Joanne suggest as a potential solution to the challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community?
A. A new job
B. Joining a specific organization
C. A "queer mission to Mars"
Question 9:
How did TJ express his hope for a future of love and acceptance?
A. By quoting famous authors
B. By sharing his personal aspirations
C. By expressing a desire for a world where everyone can be themselves
Question 10:
What is the theme of Joanne's podcast, "Inclusion Bites"?
A. Disability activism
B. LGBTQ+ advocacy
C. Conversations around inclusion and belonging
Answer Key:
B - A snowflake on its own
B - The slow progress towards acceptance
A - Programme manager and LGBTQ+ network chair
A - Diversity and inclusion
C - It ultimately leads to societal change
B - A journey
C - The emotional toll
C - A "queer mission to Mars"
C - By expressing a desire for a world where everyone can be themselves
C - Conversations around inclusion and belonging
Summary:
The quiz was designed to test your understanding of the conversation between Joanne Lockwood and TJ Richards on the "Inclusion Bites" podcast. The questions covered themes such as collective action for change, the frustration over the pace of change, the roles held by TJ at Santander, the challenges of bringing diversity and inclusion into organizations, the importance of incremental changes in attitudes and beliefs, the struggle and self-discovery as a gay person, the burden of addressing discrimination, potential solutions to challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, expressions of hope for a future of love and acceptance, and the theme of Joanne's podcast. These themes highlight the importance of understanding, acceptance, and advocacy for the LGBTQ+ community, as well as the need for incremental changes and meaningful interactions to drive societal change and understanding of diversity and inclusion.
Rhyme Scheme and Rhythm Podcast Poetry
Title: Beyond the Closet
Hidden in the depths of fear, they found their truth,
A journey of self-discovery, courage in youth.
Challenging norms, they stepped into light,
Embracing their identity, with all their might.
Struggles and triumphs, a path full of grace,
Navigating a world, their authentic space.
Fighting for belonging, acceptance to find,
Their resilience shines, leaving doubt behind.
Voices heard and stories told,
Embracing love, breaking free from the old.
In a world of differences, they seek to belong,
Their journey continues, resilient and strong.
Open hearts and open minds,
Join the conversation, for all the kinds.
Subscribe to the podcast, share the embrace,
A world of inclusion, in every space.
With thanks to TJ Richards for a fascinating podcast episode.
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