How to Budget - Jessi Fearon

Welcome back to the Catholic Money Summit. I'm your host, Amanda Teixeira, and I am joined with me today by Jesse Fearon, author of Getting Good With Money, and over owner over at Jessi. And we are gonna be talking about all things budgeting, but just wanna give you a warm welcome to the Catholic Money Summit Jessi. Thanks for being here.

Well, thank you guys for having me. I always love chatting with you.

Ditto. And this is a about such an important topic. I think that budgeting can oftentimes be seen as kind of a a nice to have, and, you know, I should get around to learning that. But really, it is so key and pivotal and almost like all the other financial things anybody could do, if it doesn't stand on top of budgeting, everything else could fall apart. I'm sure you agree with me on that.

Yes. Absolutely.

That fundamental and foundational. and we are gonna dive into all the nitty gritty and the practicals, but would you be so kind to just give a little bit of your own story of, you know, how you've arrived at this point today and you know, maybe the beginning of your journey of when you were not so great at budgeting and kind of what that process looked like.

yes. So, me and my husband, we, started 2012 pregnant, and we ended 2012 pregnant. wasn't exactly a plan, but, you know, God's plans are always better than our own. and so I had actually graduated from college right before, Actually, like, literally I gave birth to my son, my last semester of college. and so I had an accounting degree. I had been an accountant worked in the corporate world, and then we I can became a stay at home mom after my son was born, because, you know, almost all my paycheck was gonna go to putting him in daycare. And so we decided, oh, I'll be a stay with mom. Well, then we found ourselves pregnant with baby number 2, unexpectedly.

And what happened is I was actually in the grocery store, and I had not one card declined. I had 2 cards declined. And had to depend on the kindness of the stranger in line behind me to buy my groceries. And I was very upset. I was mortified at my do I have this accounting degree? And I I'm not even aware of what's going on with our money, and I don't know what's going on. and so It brought about some very difficult conversations with my husband. but ultimately, we decided, you know, we had 2 options. Either I was going back to work, and we were going be paying even more money for day care for 2 kids under the age of two, plus all the expenses that come with that, or we could try to find a way to make my husband's $47,000 a year salary work.

And so we chose the latter, and we had so we had to figure out how to budget money, and especially budget money together because, you know, I had done that on my own as a single woman. And I kinda had my own process down packed, and it was fine because I'm more of a saver, little spender anyways, so it wasn't that big of a deal. My husband's the polar opposite. it. He likes to spend money. And so it was, like, really challenging at first to try to budget because, like, my husband would have all these, like, tiny little transactions, like, a $2 can a red bullback for almost

$2

a can. you know, he would buy the gas station or whatever. And so it just drove me nuts. I had all these expenses to try to figure out and -- all these things and, ultimately led us to, paying off our consumer debt and then eventually paying off our health as well. I'm becoming a 100% debt free all on my husband's $47,000 a year salary and welcoming 3 children into our family and and then 2 dogs and a cat as well. So

I love it. I wanna go back to your to your story Jessi a little bit that that card declined moment. you know, I think all of us have had a situation like that or a moment like that, how did what kind of emotions did it bring up in you?

Oh, a lot. I felt like an absolute failure. I don't really talk That's too much. But my my dad had actually, just gone through bankruptcy, about a few years before that moment in the grocery store. And I just thought to myself, I was like, what am I doing? You know, like, what am, like, what am I doing that I can't manage my own money? Like, we spent $30,000 on this degree I have, and I can't figure how to manage my own finances, but yet I was being paid a salary before to manage a a businesses. you know, income and expenses and all of that. So why can I not do that with my own self? And I mean, a part of it is that, yes, in college, they do not teach you personal finance. I think people think when they hear someone has a degree that they just know personal finance, they don't teach that in good college.

You don't give the personal finance aspect of anything in any of the financial degrees. but so I was very I didn't know what to do. And they also didn't know how to even work alongside my husband because we were polar opposites in what we like to do and how we see money and how we view money. and just for me, I I truly felt like a failure, like, a lot of guilt because like I said, we were we were at that time, I had student loans. And I'm like, I'm paying this on this $30,000 for this shiny piece of paper and yet I can't figure out how to be able to buy groceries for my family. This is ridiculous. Like, I should be able to do this. And, it was a very, you know, it was a a humiliating moment, but also a moment full of humility where I had to, like, kinda have my come to Jesus moment and sit down and start putting pen to paper and figuring out, okay.

Well, what what do our finances look like? and how do we go Fearon here. How can we figure out to budget together? And it took a while to figure that out. This was not something that Jessi, boom, we got it together and all all was happy in the Like, that's not how it happened. It took a long time to get that figured out and to go that route.

And you mentioned, you know, you said a couple of things. you know, after you kind of began the journey, you were able to, you know, welcome home more kids while you had the one income. you paid off the house. In addition to all of the the other student loan debt, etcetera, you've obviously seen fruits and good things come from that that long term decision to dive into learning out about budgeting. But I'd love to hear, like, that very beginning process. You know, it's easy sometimes to see the big picture and to fit to skip and forget, like, what did that really beginning month or 2 look like?

Yeah.

And so if you could describe, like, what were the practicals right then? You know, you had to come to Jesus moment. You guys had the conversations. What was next?

Well, next was a lot of trial, Erin. I will say one of the mistakes that we made is that we attempted to try to budget without first getting very clear on what our finances actually looks like and why we wanted to budget. Like, we both knew that. Obviously, we didn't want me standing in we started not being able to buy food for our family. But, you know, we didn't there there was no other, you know, we didn't have other motivations behind that. And so that was a mistake that we made initially. And that was part of why budgeting wasn't working at first. Like, it was, like I said before, it was a lot of these little transactions that drove me nuts because I'm sitting here trying to figure out how to, like, categorize all this and, you know, go to my accounting degree.

I wanted to have all these things perfectly categorized and color coded and all these things. And

it was smart

to me nuts because I'm going through all these transactions. I'm like, why are you spending so much money? Right? You know? So we would have, like, kind of these arguments about it. And so, one of the things that when the best things that we did is that I kind of pulled back their reins and sat down and just mapped out what our finances looked like. How much had in savings, what the equity in our home was, how much debt we actually had, and just what all these things looks like. And then going through and and seeing, okay, what are our monthly bills like, what are the fixed bills? What are the variable bills? How much have we been spending on groceries? You know, I had to pull up our last 30 days of transactions and just go through line by line. I had different color was a washable markers, like the kids' little crayola markers that I was, like, highlighting my liked expenses, you know, all the groceries in yellow and all the fueling green and all that and telling it all up so I could see, okay, what on average are we spending every single month? And, you know, of course, what of this can I not account for? And I brought all of that to the table to talk to my husband, and that was a much easier conversation. I will say that most men, obviously, not all men, but I think most men, they they like that. Given that practical, tactical thing that they can look at and make a decision that doesn't have a bunch of emotion in it.

and they will be a lot more willing to have those conversations than if you're just freaking out and you're upset and you're crying, men don't know what to do with us when we're crying. They don't. They just wanna make us stop. So, you know, so but bringing that information to the table without a bunch of emotion was pivotal to making the budget eventually work because then husband can see, okay. This is what this currently looks like, and we're not gonna fix this until we actually get down to the nitty gritty and try, like, really try to Fearon so my husband did something that was really hard for him, which was to bring his lunch every single day. My husband is weird about leftovers. He's weird about food. Like, I'm I'm not joking.

I am not joking. If you make something, say, Monday night He thinks it's bad by Wednesday. If it's sat in the fridge that long, it's bad. That's that's how he sees it. And so it was very hard for him to have to bring leftovers to work. That was a huge sacrifice for him. I know that might seem silly to some folks, but for him, that was a really big deal. Having to do that, And but he was willing to do it once he had that information and understood.

Okay. It's not just $2 spent on a can of Red Bull at the grocery store that is adding up to over $60 a month. I actually remember that number. It was over $60 a month. That's been wonderful. But, like, he but, you know, that's what sometimes happens is that we think too much in the smaller payments, the smaller transactions. We don't see the bigger picture, but that's why for us, it's stopping and painting that bigger picture actually helped us start the tactical part of budgeting I'm figuring out. So it certainly still wasn't perfect, but it became much easier because we were actually able to get on the same page as each other.

Okay. So that first step was really just gathering the data, getting the information. You know, I think that that can be a intimidating first step because sometimes our finances feel elusive, and they're like, you know, the boogeyman in the closet. but oftentimes, like you said, you open it up, you turn the closet light on. You lay it out, and it really wasn't so bad. Or, or it shocks you. You know, I've also seen other people where they think they're doing well, and then they lay it out and they see that have a negative $400,000 net worth and you're and then the the lights come on.

Yes.

But really, what it does is it gives you information. to now begin. And then you kind of said that you paired it with kind of why this steeper of why you were budgeting, why you guys were choosing to do that? Why were you choosing to do this with one income, etcetera? So getting that information alongside clarity why you wanted to even go on this journey in the beginning. I think that was a really solid foundation for you guys, and that's, you know, that probably made it the whole process so much easier, especially because you're money personalities and valuing money differently and spending it differently, combining that information with deeper understanding was a really good springboard.

Yes. Yeah. And, I mean, and the thing is, you know, I've I've kind of always told my my coaching clients. I'm like, It's very difficult to see the finish line when you don't know where you're starting. But if you map out your finances and just give yourself that information, It's a lot easier than to see the finish line and to see how you need to get there or at least have some sort of an idea of how to get there when you know where starting from. It's very difficult to cross the finish line when you don't even know where the starting point is.

Oh, so good. then you don't even know what direction you're heading in, etcetera. So so good. Love it. So you sat down, and you began to create this, your first budget. what did you use? What were you a paper and pen person? Are you an Excel spreadsheet? Are you an app person?

so originally it was an Excel spreadsheet, former accountant. I loved Excel. and I had it all, like, pretty with all my little formulas in it and everything, and my husband was like, what is this? I don't understand this. He was like, my husband's like, I swing a hammer for a living. I don't know what any of this means. And so I was like, okay. So, I I went to pen and paper, and we've tried several different things over the Fearon. but pen and paper has been the easiest one for us to consistently work with it and to to pay attention to it because I'm really the one that tracks it, and then I just tell my husband because we have budget meetings every single week.

They used to be very long. They're not long anymore. it's just mostly just like an update now. but, you know, and I always tell people, I'm like, You're not gonna ever have it perfect. Just try what you think will work. Give it at least 3 months of, you know, if your spreadsheet isn't working, try something different. Try some software. Yeah.

Give it 3 months if it's not working. You can try something different, but don't keep hopping over and over and over again. Give things

a little bit

of time. to work as you figure it out and figure out what works best for you. It's kind of like, you know, learning a new fitness routine. Right? Not every types of workouts work for every single body. You know, it doesn't help us all the time to do all these different things, but sometimes we have to try different things until we finally find that thing that works best for us.

so much wisdom. And, yeah, every system's gonna have its own learning curves, etcetera. So I love that that kind of 90 day. trial period, if you will, and just see what works. It's so interesting to me to see how different budgeting really it's so personal And whatever whatever you're gonna use is the best. Doesn't matter if it's Fearon. Doesn't matter. If it isn't pretty, doesn't matter if it's a formula.

If you'll use it, that's the best.

Yes. Yeah. And even within my own paper system, it's a change. Like, I had a budget binder that I used for years years years. And now that most of our bills are more electronic, I actually just have a notebook now. that I just keep everything in because that has become easier because now, you know, before I was keeping the paper copies of our bills and I'd have written down you check numbers or, you know, the the reference number where I paid it online or whatever. but now since most of them are paid online, I don't have to keep track of all those different things more. And so, you know, and that's the thing.

Adaptability is also key. We have to be willing to adapt in different seasons of life might might warrant having, you know, a more robust system or a more simple system. We just had to be willing to change when we need to.

Alright. So you guys, you're sitting down, you're creating those first few budgets. Inevitably, I'm gonna guess at some point or another, you sat down and maybe, you know, Let's say you had $4000 to budget for the month. There's some expenses that might have been easier to say, okay, we have to pay this, this, this, and this. And then you might have gotten to the harder categories where maybe you started to disagree on where those extra dollars should fall. how did those conversations go, and how did you decide and pick who is gonna kind of decide where this went?

so, for me, one of the things that I had really wanted is I wanted, like, the pretty beat vacation with the family with our family because, you know, being on social media, that's what you would see come like every summer. Like, you know, you've got, I mean, like, the pretty girls on the boats and their little family, and it's all these, like, gorgeous photos and everything. And I really, really wanted that, but we were trying to pay off debt. And my husband was like, no. He's like, if we're committed to doing this, then we're not taking a vacation. We can't afford to do So and so we just I mean, my husband and I, we've been camping together since we were dating. So camping's always kind of been a part of our our thing. He's like, we're just gonna keep camping until, you know, we have the money.

And I remember being very frustrated by that because I wanted to allocate money towards the vacation, but he's like, no. If we're paying off debt, that's what we're doing. because at that time, the last of debt that we had was my student loans or less consumer debt was my student loans. because we had actually the hard thing for me was that, I had a fully loaded Tahoe, but I also had a very huge car loan attached to that Tahoe. and I loved that. car. but, you know, my husband was like, if we're committed to paying off debt, we're going to have to go Jessi the car, we can pay in cash. and so 9 years ago, I bought a 2001 Toyota Sequoia got rid of my Tahoe and I still drive that Sequoia to this day.

I'll drive her until she just finally does doesn't go down the road no more.

And she I think that that so twenty, twenty two years old now. Yeah. If I if my math is correct.

Yes. She's actually in the shop right in this week. I mean, it's nothing major, but it's, like, one of those things where it's funny because, like, it's something that's, like, popped up and we're like, okay. We need to go get this taken care of. both me and my husband were like, no. She has to run forever. Like, literally, she needs to outlive all of us, and she probably will. Like, honestly, it will outlive probably all of us.

But, you know, it's just funny how, like, for years, I was the poster child of you are what you drive. And I believe just so much that, you know, that was a status symbol. And, you know, it it's interesting too because, you know, we have, like, the whole EV market, the electric vehicle market. And, yeah, we have friends that are like, oh, you, you, like, you can't drive that guest elsewhere no more. It's it's not good for the environment. And I always challenge people and I'm like, we need to switch our thinking here. Instead of being a green consumer, let's be a green citizen because what is better the environment. You trading EV vehicles every 2 years or me continuing to drive the gas because they're keeping it out of the landfill.

for decades on it. You know? And so it's not to say that one's better than the other. It's simply to say that we it's a mind shift. Mind set shift, and it's the same even with managing our money. It's changing the way that we think about things and because we live in a very consumeristic Fearon society. So whether it's the beach vacations or it's the car or It's whatever your thing may be, designer clothes, handbags, whatever, we all have a thing that's a weakness and it will make us want to spend money even when we don't have it, but sometimes that's the very thing that we need to give up in order to achieve what we want to because I will tell you at first when we got the Sequoia, I hated that car. I was very upset. I cried when we were pulling off the lot.

Like, my husband actually stopped the Sequoia and was like, if you cannot hang this, we will go back and just get the Tahoe. Like, I I was bawling, like, ugly crying bawling in the car because I couldn't believe I had just got this car.

And now you can drive

the car away Fearon me.

Yeah. So was it like, where did you feel like an identity a part of you died, or, like, you were transforming, or, What did that look like? Cause I I know people that fit that category, and they would have a really hard time switching that.

I yes. For me, it was definitely and and I was not even aware that so much of my eye had been put into this car that I drove. Like, I wasn't aware of that at all. You know? because growing up, my dad actually would buy himself a new truck every year. That was his thing. Like, he if he was making more money, he would buy himself a new truck every single year.

And

so I kinda grew up with this mentality of, you know, getting the newer, these newer vehicles and that you need, you know, that you had to have that nice and new safe SUV for your kids. Right? Like, that's you know, maybe teen parents, and we'd literally went and bought the Tahoe after Connor was born, my oldest, because we had to have that safe new SUV. That's what, you know, we both believed at the time. but the reality is is that there are a lot of safe cars out there. They don't have to fit one thing over the other. And so but, you know, again, it was a true identity crisis. I had a very hard time driving this car. You know, it's it's technically classified as thunder gray, but I swear it is purple.

for at least some light, it's very purple. And it's got rust spot all over it. Like, I mean, it's so funny, but, like, whatever. Like, now I don't care, but it back then, I cared so much that it deeply bothered me do have to go from this really nice, fully loaded SUV with the backup cameras, the wood grain interior, like, It was super nice. I had the the, like, the screens in the back for the kids. And, I mean, I remember arguing with my husband, like, what are we gonna do for road trips? we don't have screens. And he's like, didn't you go on road trips as a kid without screens every year? And I was like, well, yeah. But, I mean, you know, and it was like all these excuses.

And the reality is that it's fine. It's not the end of the world. You know? And, I mean, but that's what I think happens to us when we have to make sacrifices is, you know, in some of these sacrifices are going to be an identity crisis for us because we've held onto things so much and so tightly that it's very, very hard for us to just give them up and to let them go. even if it is a temporary let go.

You know, and it makes me just think about as, you know, as disciples, as Catholics, you know, we're called to follow our lord and whatever he's calling us too to say yes to those things. And In many ways, I feel like the budget is the most practical tool for us to use in that call. That sounds weird. that sounds bizarre, you know, from the outside looking in, like, a budget is gonna gonna help me be a disciple. But I can't think of a more practical tool that's gonna set you down and say, ask you to discern what is god calling me to say yes to?

Yes.

And then I have to make the numbers match that. the the budget is that tool. And for you, it called out and asked you to let go of this false identity that was not in Christ, that was not inviting you to say yes to, you know, your location freely, and the budget helped you identify that and get rid of it. Yes. And and so I love that that it helped free you up to say, to give that deeper, yes. And it's still doing that today with the with the Sequoia.

Yeah. And, I mean, that's what, like, I always told my kids because they actually got a ride in one of our, one of their friends, like, their mom had just spot a brand new. it's the Kia van. I think carnival is what it's called.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But, so she just got, like, a brand new one, and they gotta ride it. And they're like, mom, you to get a new car. And I was like, well, for me to get a new car, that means that y'all have to go back into into school because I homeschool my kids. So I'm like, you would to go back to school. I'd have to go back to work as what I told them, and they're like, I'm like, Jessi, this very old car keeps your mom home, so I can home school you, and we can have the life that we do. So I was like, so you have to understand that there is a trade off here. you know, and so, and I think it's also important too for our kids and our families to see that dynamic. Like, I'm not mad about it.

Like, if something were to happen and I had to go down that route, then that's something I'd have to address. But you know, they so much of our society today has told us that we can have it all. We can have it all all the time, and we can't. That is just not even possible. Even the Bible tells us it's not possible. Like, it's not possible to have it all all the time. And so we have to work really hard to change that because it's gonna constantly come at you. it's still today comes at me.

I'm, you know, even though we're a 100% debt free. Like, things will come at us, and we feel like we have to do all these different things because now we have more freedom in our money, but the reality is that we can't you know, because with that freedom, we've been able to do things that we would have never been able to do before. Like, we had, friends of ours who Their house 2 days before Christmas burned to the ground, killing all of their pets. Thankfully, the the mom and the 4 kids were not home when it happened, but the pets, unfortunately, were killed in that. All their Christmas gifts were gone every, like, everything they had with gone. And we were able to donate $1500 right then and there. I didn't have to think about it. We didn't even have to discuss it.

I just called my husband and I said, Like, you know, are you okay with me giving this money to them? And he said, fine. We didn't need that money. Like, go back 9 years and $1500 would not have even been remotely That might as well have been a

$1,000,000.

Like, that would not have been possible. And so I say that not to sound like I'm bragging or anything like but that's what happens when we sit down and we allow this budget to not not dictate our lives, but dictate our money because our money is not our life. It was just a part of it. And when we allow it to dictate how we're going to use our money, it allows situations when we feel called upon. because there have been other times that we've been asked to give money or do something, and there are amazing causes, but I have not felt called by the lord to do so. And so we haven't. But then again, there are those times where I've we felt very strongly to give and whether it was a large sum of money or small sum of money or we were donating certain things. that's what we felt the call to do, and we were able to do it with the freedom and knowing that our family wasn't going to suffer in the process.

Love it. Beautiful. So those are some of the fruits that you've been able to see. How about, any fruits in in your relationship with your husband, you know, even though you're completely different, Money personalities has budgeting kind of brought you guys closer to the middle, if you will?

Yes. more because it helps us with, like, understanding each other's kind of nuances. you know, so for my husband, I have learned that with a lot of spenders, again, this may not be true for every spender, least for my husband is not so much that he has to spend money. It's that he does not want you to be told he cannot. He wants to be able to spend money when he feels there is a need to do so. He's perfectly fine to tell himself no to something that when he just knows that, okay. It's not in the budget and this is unimportant, that's fine. We don't need to spend money.

But when He feels that it is a need. He wants to be able to spend the money and do so freely. so that is something I had to learn and understand about him. And just like he had to learn and understand with me, I like big bank accounts. I like money being in savings. I have a hard time spending money from savings. And so for my birthday this year, the thing that my husband really wanted for me to have was new appliances in my kitchen. all of our appliances were broken in some capacity.

They were all working, but, like, barely working. Like, I mean, and we've lived in this house for 12 years. All appliances were twelve years old, and they were literally on their last leg. And so he's like, let's buy all new appliances for your birthday Jessi to do that. And so, like, I found deals and all this stuff, and it came time to buy it. And I couldn't, like, I was having a mental breakdown. I was, like, I cannot take the money I saved. I'm like, I can't do that.

Like, this is too much money. And I'm like, losing my mind. And my husband, like, actually got, like, in my face, and he's do we have the money to buy this? And I was like, yes. And he goes, what are you freaking out about? He's like, just do it. We need these things. He's like, we need these things to do it. And So it's good for us because we have that yin and that yang sort of thing happening where it's like, you know, I needed him in that moment to tell me, like, spend the money. This is an actual need.

Stop justify like, stop trying to convince yourself that you can just continue on with these appliances that on their last leg. They are not going to survive the rest of the year. Let's get them now. Like, to stop this, right, but he also needs me to kinda come in and, you know, because actually Jessi, but a month ago. I had to say, babe, but, you know, you keep spending more money on lunches out than you have been previously. And I was, So and so my exact words to him after I said that was so do you want me to reconfigure our sinking funds that we've contributing to, do you want me to to take something away from, say, the vacation sinking fund so we can put more money into, you know, your little fund to go buy lunches. And, that was sort of his wake up call of like, okay. Alright.

I need to bring my lunch more. And so he has. He's been bringing his lunch 4 days a week now. And so it's been great, and it's fine, and the budget has bounced itself out again. but it's nice because we can have those conversations and they're not these humongous blown out fights anymore because I'm not trying to control him on how he's spending, and he's not trying to control me on saving money. Whereas 4, I would get mad at him and frustrated at him because I felt like he was spending all the money, but he would get mad at frustrated me because he felt like I was taking all the money and hiding it away from him, and he couldn't have any it.

Mhmm. I love that. I we have similar dynamics in our marriages, and so I I know this these conversations well. Last and certainly not least thing that I wanna ask you about. You know, we've discussed, like, Jessi picking the method and getting started. And then, you know, you're actually creating the budget, which I guess we didn't we didn't even define that. how, you know, you have this giant lump sum of money, right? You know, you got paid. How does somebody choose how they're gonna divvy it up and allocate those funds?

So for us, kind of what we have done for years years, is I call it the quick start budget, but you're just using the money. Like, you just start with whatever money you have sitting in your checking account, whatever dollar amount that is. Look at your calendar. Look to see when your next payday is going to be. And then between now and that next payday? What bills are due? What do you need to buy? Do you need to buy groceries? Do you need to put fuel in the car? What bills? You know, all those things? What what is happening in that time frame? And, you know, some back those expenses out. and again, if you go back and look at your last 30 days of transactions, you'll see on average how much you're spending for groceries and and fuel those types of expenses. And so you can you can do it that way with just a a good guesstimate on how much you would spend, for those expenses. But subtract that out and see what you've got and see what you've got left or what do you got to play with? What can you put money into savings? Can you apply it to debt? What can you do with it? And then from there, when you get paid again, add that money back in.

that the key to this is to sit down at least 1 day a week. Put put a reminder in your phone, schedule it in your calendar, whatever you need to do, one day a week, where you sit down and you up a date this budget. You take out any expenses that are there. you add in things if, you know, maybe you, you know, maybe you budgeted that you're gonna spend $300 groceries, but you only spent 250. You'll put that money back in there and and balance it back out. So then that way when it comes time for your next payday and you're adding that money and you have a solid picture of what that looks like. And I, and I recently taught a class at at our local library, and I gave this example of when I showing them the quick start budget. and this example was is that this imaginary person was only going to have a $195 to last them 10 days.

And people were like, This in the room, and I'm like, but see, here's the thing. If I had not done this process, this person would not have known that they only had a $195 to last them for 10 days. So they would have overspent it. And that's exactly what we were doing for years is we were overspending all the time because we we're not aware that we only have this amount of money to last us. And so this is the power of a budget. It's not this restrictive, like, jail sentence thing. It is like, okay. Hey.

You've got this much money. What are you going to do with it? How are you going to stretch it? How are you going to utilize this. You know, there's nothing wrong with getting scrappy and being resourceful and being like, okay, how can I stretch this money? You know, what, you know, what was I planning on spending money on this week that I don't need to spend money Do I have to buy this thing on Amazon that I see? Do I have to do this? And it just brings up these conversations and it makes you hyper aware of what you're doing of how the money is flowing in and how it's flowing out. And that is the key to budgeting. It's just that awareness. It's not about being perfect in getting it right down to the red scent. It is like, okay. You know, how do we make this work and how are we utilizing money and how does it flow in our household?

Okay. Thank you for that explanation. And, yeah, it's protecting those priorities and helping you reach those goals as you allocate those funds. Now So let's say something comes up. Something happens. Maybe it's you or it's your spouse, but there's some sort of a completely off the rails moment, or there's an unexpected expense that comes in and just like blows the budget apart. What do you recommend people do in situations like that?

So the first thing is, obviously, you need to have a starter emergency fund. and this number is gonna be different for a lot of different people, but I always just recommend, you know, 1 month's worth of living expenses. whatever that is. I'm not, you know, we're we're not talking about frivolous spending. We're talking about, you know, the money that you need to keep the roof over your head, food on the table, and fuel in car. Like, that is what you that was that's what anybody would spend on in an emergency. So that that expense, whatever tally that up, whatever that number is, you know, usually it's around $3000. Sometimes it's a little more.

Sometimes it's a little less. but, you know, save that up in a starter emergency fund. That's number one because that's gonna help any, like, little bobbles in the road that happen for the most part, you're gonna have something to to lean on in order to pay for those things. another thing that I always suggest too is to have sinking funds. but you don't have to set all these up at one time. Just pick one to start with and go with it. so anything so when unexpected expenses happen. The first thing that I always ask myself is could this expense have been, like, avoided? Is it something that we should have been aware of? so, for example, Christmas, that's not unexpected, but yet for years, it caught us off guard.

And so now we have a Christmas sinking fund, and we just put, you know, 5, 10 $20 every paycheck into this little Christmas fund, and it saves all year long for Christmas. but it's also the same for our pets. as I mentioned before, I have 2 dogs and a cat, they come with their own set of expenses. And so we have a sinking fund for them because it should not be unexpected that I need to take my my to the vet or my dogs to the vet. Same with children. We have a children sinking fund because it's not unexpected that kids have expenses. are you going to necessarily know the dollar amount, everything is going to be, no. But having some money in a sinking fund just set aside as a separate bank account, just kinda set aside, help to offset that impact on your household budget.

But if it happens before you have any of this stuff set up, The best thing to do is to sit down and just figure out how you can work the numbers and how, like, where you can fit in. It may mean that you are cutting out a lot stuff. It may mean that you need to go and get out a pen of paper and write down everything you have in your pantry and your fridge and your freezer. And so then that way, you know, okay. You know what? Like, I don't have to buy this this week. I don't have to buy this this week. We're just gonna be making some weird meals for the next couple of weeks. It's cool.

We'll we'll be fed. It'll be You know? you those types of things, those may be the things that you have to do. because one of the greatest lessons I think that for me and my husband, came out of this process was one learning how to work together, but 2 also learning how to be scrappy and resourceful together and figuring out our own little in the in those arenas and what we could depend on each other for. and so that's what I think is really, really important is to, you know, just pay attention to your money. And when those expenses come up, if you aren't set up with sinking funds and emergency funds and all that to to mitigate it, sit down pay attention. Ask yourself where you can cut, and it may mean that you're making really hard choices, but it's okay because it's temporary.

I love that you you kind of described it as, you know, your you guys are scrappy now and you can kind of figure it out And to me, that just sounds like you're stewarding the money that you've been entrusted with. I don't think a good, you know, you you hear about the good steward in scripture, or we think about how god's calling us to steward our our time, our talent, but we're specifically talking about treasure right now or money, even if we had a $100,000,000 to our name, we're never called to be wasteful. you know, that's just not in the DNA of a disciple. And so I think that, you know, what you're describing is the budget invites you to be intentional and to be, to not be wasteful and and a little bit scrappiness is not a bad thing. Sometimes I think that that gets a a bad rap or people call it scarcity mindset, but I think it's just prudence applied to our money and we're not going to be wasteful. so I love that you described it that way. As we are getting winding down here in this interview. before we end and people can learn about how they can keep in touch with you, we are gonna do a quick lightning round And you already answered, are you a saver or a spender? So I'll go ahead and skip that question, but if you're gonna be doing some shopping, you know, maybe for these appliances or whatever that you bought, do you like to be in person or are you more of an online shopper?

I am more of an online shopper. I think that that I was scarred for life by my mom, like, taking me and my brother to, like, Kmart and, like, walking around forever and ever and ever and ever looking at all the things and it drove me crazy as a kid. I hate going into I do. I hate it. Like, I the only store I go into is, like, grocery store, and that's it. Like, I just don't I don't like to shop, like, shopping for me.

Got it. what was your very first job?

I was a birthday party hostess at a theme park in Marietta, Georgia, it was called American Adventures. It's no longer there, but it's, but white water, which was next to it, and owned it, is still there.

Oh, like the white water Like -- Yeah. -- rafting? Oh, cool.

No. No. It's a theme park. yeah. It's a theme park. Yeah. Yeah. It's owned by 6 flags too.

So that was the best part of that job as a teen was that we got to go into 6 flags in white water for free. So that was awesome. Yes. I love it. I mean, yes. It may for the best summer as far as that one. Like, working there was horrible. Like, the uniforms men's clothes.

And so my mom had to hem the shorts because they went, oh, man. It's so long. And so she had to hem them. And this shirt, I forgot. My mom has some picture. I gotta find it because, like, the shirt was so large. It was, like, huge. It swallowed me up.

So it was painful to work there, but then when you were off, you got to go to fun.

Yeah. So that was the fun part. And all my friends worked there. So which was probably not a good thing for our employer, but it was really fun.

Hey, people got to see you having fun with with each other. That's that's always good too. giving at church. Are you a cash in the basket? envelope dropped in or an online giver?

I do the envelope with the check. That's what I typically do. And then I usually have, like, dollar bills, and I'll, like, give to my kids because they, like, fight over who puts the envelope in the basket and drives me nuts. and then I actually give it to other kids too because, like, I usually, I've their kids are all, like, with me too. So, like, I'm Jessi, like, here. Oh, and just take a dollar and just let it in whatever basket you want to.

No one love it. What is the hardest thing for you to spend money on?

Oh, sorry. connected. Okay.

I think, yeah, are you back? Yes. I'm back. Okay. It froze for a second. I asked, what's the hardest thing for you to spend money on?

Oh, myself. Anything for me is very, very hard. it's easier for me to, you know, buy gifts for people you know, if it had been, like, a a friend that needed appliances, I would have bought appliances and had no problem with it. Like, because it was for me, I was losing my mind over it, but it's very hard for me to spend money on myself. yeah.

Got it. And last, and certainly not least, what money lesson do you wish you would have learned earlier in life?

Oh my gosh. That money can be fun. It doesn't have to be this big history. It doesn't have to be a burden. It can be fun. you know, and and as you were saying before, you know, being wasteful should never be the answer. And I used to think that a way to have fun was to waste money. but that's really not the case.

Like, you can have fun that's not in a will manner in buying things that you don't need or don't want or doing things you don't need or don't want to do.

Love it. Love it. Alright, Jesse. Thank you so much for joining me in this interview. I know there are people wanting to follow-up with you, learn more from you, Where can they keep in touch?

I Instagram at Jessi Fearon, and at my website at jesseferon.com, in my book, Fearon good with my oop. There you go. it's on Amazon, and anywhere that books are sold. so and you can keep up with me through either my website or through Instagram, and that's where I'm, most active at.

Very good. Well, thank you again for joining in this interview. Those who are watching, go enjoy another Catholic Money Summit interview. And god bless. Bye for now. Thank you.