A quick show of hands, how many of you speak more than one language? I mean, okay, quite a few. I'm pretty impressed. I will tell you that I do not. I am like most stereotypical U.S. americans in that I only speak one language. And it took me going to the UK to realize that I don't even speak English, I speak American. But I am trying to learn German though, because as you learned, if you came to the comedy night, you learned that my wife is German. And as I shared there, my wife is German.

She's the first German person I've ever dated. It's the most efficient relationship I have ever been in. It's wonderful. I also shared that my wife's nickname for my wife's name is Sabrina, but my nickname for her is pretzel because she's German, you know, because I figured that my favorite thing about Germany before I met her, my favorite thing from Germany was pretzels. And now she's my favorite thing. Although if she went by that logic, she would have to call me Beyonce for me because that was her favorite thing before me. So anyway, I'm trying to learn German now because my wife speaks German and also my daughter, my now four year old daughter speaks German and I don't like that they have a secret language together. So I'm trying to learn German.

So I'm doing everything that I can to learn the language. I am on Duolingo and every single day I am watching German films on Netflix. I'm eating a whole bunch of sauerkraut just in case that helps. And a little while back, we were visiting my wife's family in Germany and she was like, you know, you keep practicing, you're on Duolingo. I have like an 1800 day streak on Duolingo. She's like, you're doing that, but you need to have an actual conversation. You need to put it into practice. And so she was like, try to do that while you're here.

I was like, okay, I'll have at least one conversation with while I'm here in German. And I decided I wanted to do it with a stranger because I didn't want to do it with her family members because I wanted them to still like me afterward. Right. And so I kept putting it off, putting it off though, because I was nervous. And eventually we were getting ready to leave Germany and my wife was like, you said you were going to do this and you're running out of time. And so I was like, all right, I know what I'm going to do. We're getting ready to go for just a little short holiday in Switzerland. And so I was like, okay, when we get to the hotel in Switzerland, I'll just have a conversation with the receptionist in German, right? I figure it's going to be a pretty easy conversation.

I've checked into thousands of hotels in my lifetime. I'm probably not going to have to talk about my hopes and dreams in German. Although, just to be safe, I asked Pretzel. I was like, hey, how would I say hopes and dreams in German? And she's like, you wouldn't. I'm starting to feel better already. And so I start practicing everything that I'm gonna say, right? And I'm feeling pretty good. I'm gonna start with guten Tag, means good day. And then probably be gates du.

And, like, all these things that I'm thinking about, I'm gonna say. So we get to a hotel in Switzerland, I walk in, and right as I'm getting ready to say guten Tag, the receptionist says, bonjour, and my brain shut down. And in the process of my brain shutting down, the only thing I could think to respond with was, no hablo ingles. Which is wrong. It's wrong for multiple reasons, right? They said something in French. I responded in Spanish. And in Spanish, I said, I don't speak English, right? I hablo ingles. I only ablo ingles.

But the woman was very kind, though. She was like, do you want to speak English? And I was like, si, grazi. Prego. The point of that story is that, first of all, I'm terrible at languages. But humor, in many ways is like learning a language. There are some people who are fluent in humor, people who learned it growing up. Just as you might learn a language, some people, maybe they studied it and at some point, or they might have learned it from friends, family members, et cetera. And then there are other people who are at the no hablo ingles level of humor.

But wherever you are on that spectrum, we can get a little bit better, we can move a little bit further in that process. And so I want to do a quick kind of informal survey of the group. So it is the afternoon, so everyone please stand up real quick. I want to do a super informal version of the group. And normally I would do a series of things, et cetera, but we're going to jump just right to the last one. What's going to happen is we're going to do a quick exercise called have a seat. If it's not a great name, but it's an accurate name of what this is going to happen. What's going to happen is I'm going to give you a set of criteria.