New Parents

Babies have a lot of needs and boy, is there a lot of stuff being sold to new parents to take care of those babies. $90 billion a year. In today's episode, we are going to discuss what of that stuff do you actually need? Keep listening to the Catholic Money show. A few episodes ago we did an episode about consignment sales. Love them and how much we love them. We told a story about our first consignment sale, which we hoped to get a bunch of baby stuff and walked.

Out with a Thanksgiving outfit.

That was about it. So we missed our opportunity there to really save a bunch of bucks. And it turns out one of you listeners is in a similar boat right now and sent us a voicemail. Let's give that a quick listen.

Hi there. My husband and I have been listening to your podcast for a while now. We're newlyweds and it has been so exciting to hear about all the different things you guys speak about, specifically about finances, just because we didn't really have a lot of background with that and it's been so good for our new marriage and we're expecting a baby. So really exciting. And we just listened to your guys'episode about the Consignment sales, and we think it was super providential because there's actually a Consignment sale going on this upcoming Thursday. And we were wondering what your guys'thoughts were on, what sorts of things to look out for at the sales and what things are actually necessary. Because we feel like we could go in and be either very overwhelmed or buy the Thanksgiving outfit. So we can't wait to hear what you say and God bless you for all your work.

We want to answer this very important question. As you shared earlier, the baby industry is a $90 billion market and ever expanding companies are willing to pay top dollar to get in front of your eyeballs to tell you that you need X, Y or Z. And maybe some of it you do need, but a good deal of it you don't.

Yes.

And then even more of it you could probably get gently used.

Of course, this baby stuff market is so big and so powerful. I think this is from the Power of Habit book and it's kind of a side story, but he talks about Target and their targeted advertising and using purchase data to go after particularly new parents.

Because if they get you there, they.

Get them for the new parents, they're going to get you loyal customers and they'll buy a bunch of other stuff at Target as well. So this is a big industry that has a lot of it designed maybe to take care of your baby, but to take care of the real baby, which is their business.

Yes. Never underestimate the power of marketing. Some of it is in your face, most of it is very subtle and all of a sudden the dollar bills are flying out of our wallets. So I want to help prepare this young couple as they go to this consignment sale. And we wanted to have this conversation here on the Catholic Money Show because I think that there's a lot of other new parents out there who could benefit from this. And so instead of just answering directly, we wanted to go ahead and record our response, if you will, so that it could benefit the masses, those listening to this and in a similar situation. So first up, before we even go into kind of the critical items that you really actually need for a baby and then kind of the nice to have, that's going to be the two differentiators that we talk about here. I do want to say that as part of this $90 billion industry, I think there's an immense amount of pressure put on parents to provide a certain level of and type of stuff for your baby and then it extends to your child.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. There's an element of keeping up with the Joneses that I want Catholic families to seriously push back against. Now, if you have you're debt free, you have your emergency savings established and you're budgeting and you can go ahead and spend a larger amount of resources on baby stuff, that's fine. I have no problem with that. But most nine times out of ten, that is not new parents. And they end up putting things that they think they need on a credit card or they're not paying off the debt because they spent all the money furnishing the nursery with Pottery Barn furniture. To be like this influencer that was their same age and they should be at the same level, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Social media has kind of warped, I think, new parents and their expectations for baby gear because you're seeing all these influencers with most of the time, their free stuff that they were given by the companies, they don't tell you that.

And now you think you need all these organic muslin, swaddle blankets. And so I do want to just preface our conversation with understand that reality. And that is putting pressure on couples to feel like they can't be open to life to the degree that they would want to be, because all this stuff's just so expensive and it's just a tactic from the enemy to scare us. Steal, kill and destroy, right? His ultimate mission. And so why we love consignment sales. We love them for a variety of reasons, but a really big one is that you can get really great stuff that you need that's going to serve your family in whatever state of life you're in for less. And so that means you get to put more money towards the things that matter most, whatever God's calling you to, whether that's giving more, whether it's paying off debt, whether it's being open to life and welcoming more children. We're all about that.

And so if you can leverage and take advantage of buying some of this initial stuff for less and then go ahead and extend that throughout the childhood of your kids, it's just going to mean so much for your family economy. All right.

Absolutely.

Sorry, just wanted to preface that. All right, John, let me say one more thing. Okay.

You got to preface there's a pressure that I think a lot of us feel that I think we felt without even realizing it until somebody pointed out or I read it somewhere, heard it somewhere, whatever, that as we're starting off our adult life, we expect to be at the same level as our parents at right now.

But it took them it took them.

30 years to get to get to the type of house they're in and all these things, but we expect to be there right now. I think it's the same thing with kids. If I look back, I'm like, oh, okay, maybe there wasn't as much money around as I thought, or we had a lot simpler stuff than I think or than it is available now. There's so much fancy and just so much stuff available now for kids.

Cooler and cooler baby stuff. Now, those stroller wagons, I say even since what a genius idea.

Four years since we had a baby, there's a lot of extra, even more cool stuff.

I want to have more kids just to use the stuff. I'm just kidding. I do want to have more kids, God willing.

And you do want to use this stuff. All right, let's get to the stuff, though. We'll start with the criticals that got.

To have and I mean, if you wanted to be super, like, okay, what are the real items gunned to your back? What do you need for a baby? Well, you need something to feed them. You need somewhere to put them down, and you need something to change their diaper and maybe in one outfit. If you were talking about the absolute basics, okay, that could work. This is a little bit more than.

Just the absolute keep the child alive mostly list.

So when I say critical items, it's kind of just yeah, the basics that you need in kind of setting it up.

There we go.

I'm not talking about the absolute bare bones. Okay. All right, let's get in. Let's talk about sleeping.

The kid's got to sleep, and you.

Want that kid to sleep.

You need that kid to sleep, and.

You'Re going to run the gamut. Is your kid one of those that is going to sleep through the night at three weeks, and then you're going to pat yourself on the back and think, you are such a good parent, or is your kid going to be a night terror for the first two years of their life, and you're going to blame yourself? Neither. Which are true. And then you might have another one a couple of years later and they've flip flopped on you. And now you've realized it didn't have anything to do with your parents. Anyway, you do need usually right away. And the American Academy of Pediatrics will recommend this baby. Sleeping in your room is the ideal for newborns, and it will kind of comfort you as well to just know that they're in earshot, that they're there.

So a bassinet is a great item for a baby to sleep in right away. Or if you're going to have a crib for the set that up in.

Your room, who hypothetically don't remember what a bassinet is for those listeners.

Yeah. Not you. It's kind of like the smaller portable crib that you could kind of have pull up right next to the bed. And oftentimes one of the sides will kind of collapse. So if Mom's breastfeeding, she could just easily grab the baby, pull baby to herself.

Bassinet.

And I mean, these come in a variety. You could get one at a consignment sale, like one of those halo bassinets. You could get one for $30.20, $30. Or you could get the Snoo, which is like the $1,000. When the baby starts to kind of make a noise, it'll begin to.

Make.

White noise, shushing, and even start to sway and rock them.

They make an adult set.

I don't know. You certainly don't need to go that fancy, really. Oftentimes basic is just best. So just a bassinet, that's really the essential right away. Something small near you. And if you don't want to do that, you could skip it and just do a crib in your room.

And then there's the whole sleeping in the bed thing. Co sleeping.

Yeah. Some people will do that. Some people aren't comfortable with it. Some people are.

Yeah.

Whatever's going to help you and your family get the most sleep. Really?

Bingo.

Yeah.

And then you'll need some of that baby to be in while it's sleeping. So especially when they're new. Swaddle blankets. Wrap that kid up.

Sometimes you can just take the swaddle blanket they gave you at the hospital. I know people that have done that because they give it to you. You're not stealing this from no.

And it's like the momentous is the first blank and I wrapped you.

But if you learn the skill of swaddling, that can be a good one. Otherwise, there's a wide range of different sleep sacks or swaddle blankets that you could try. Every kid is going to be different, but finding one that seems to work for your kid and that they like some kids don't like them at all. But I would say trying them for most kids is going to be beneficial.

And there's a balance here. Just like the other thing. Right. There's a wide variety or a wide spectrum of these things.

There's the don't go by the Merlin magic sleep.

My kid can't sleep. I'll do anything. I don't know what's happening. I haven't slept in weeks. Parent who will pay anything. So there's going to be products marketed to that taking advantage of your sleep deprived psychosis. And you will be willing to try anything and pay anything. And then you wrap them in a blanket, and then there's something in between right.

Where you have okay. Yeah. This particular sleep sack kind of thing or whatever will be a little more helpful. Maybe it's easier, whatever. So there is definitely some discerning there of what to do and how to go.

Yeah. I think for us, it's usually gone. Simplicity has worked better. And we've done the double swaddle strategy. The double swaddle blanket strategy. It seemed to work really good for our kids. And we didn't need anything really fancy other than just a couple muslin. No, we didn't get cotton or we didn't get organic.

They were just plain muslin swaddle blankets. And then when our kids transitioned out of swaddle blankets, because when they're rolling over, we go into we call it the squirrel suit. I forget.

Zippity Zip.

Zippity Zips. They were from Shark Tank. And then our kids literally are in the Zippity Zips until they're like four years old.

But you know where we got the Zippity Zip? Consignment yard sale was the first one. That's where we ran into it. They're throwing it in. I think when we bought some clothes or something, we're like, I guess we'll take it. I don't know. Saved our butts.

It was awesome. Yeah, but you don't need that right away. No, that's something that's kind of like in the as they get older, six to nine month range, you might figure out something for the rolling over.

Okay, so we took care of sleep. We're going to hit the main activities of a baby sleep check. All right. Eat.

They need to eat. So if you're breastfeeding and you could do a mix of breastfeeding or formula or you could do just breastfeeding or formula. We're not here to talk about what options you are pursuing, but depending on which one you pursue at a consignment sale, if you're going to choose to breastfeed, this might be a great place to grab some of the supplies. A lot of times someone will have bought, like, a bunch of bottles their kid didn't like. Right. I'm talking about just the breastfeeding moms. Oh, yeah, they don't need a bottle.

Why did I say that? I guess if they're pumping and you got to do it later sure.

Yes. Pumping supplies. Yeah. Huge. At a consignment sale, you can get great pumps. So if your insurance is not covering it, that would be a great place to grab it.

And also old box of bags. They didn't need all that stuff.

Bags to store milk, et cetera. Yes, of course, there's going to be creams and leak pads. A lot of times somebody just didn't need them. And so this is just a great place to score great deals on just all those equipment. Nursing bras, as you say, the special nursing bras. Maybe now you're out of the maternity clothes, but you want some nursing shirts, nursing dresses, nursing sweaters. These are going to be on sale at a consignment sale and something that you should absolutely go get because nursing clothes are really expensive.

I'll say this maybe so then we don't have to keep saying it because I think it applies probably to everything that we're going to talk about is sure, you're going to save money by limiting which things you buy. And that's what our list is going to do. You're going to save more money then if you get those things used, you're going to save more money probably if you do that at a consignment sale or yard sale, something like that. So the whole range of how things get cheaper from new gently used maybe on ebay or something like, you know, Facebook marketplace, then consignment store, then consignment sale, yard sale, borrow from a friend.

Wow, what a range.

I'd say that's the range though, as most things go through there, it gets cheaper as you go down. So all of these, that's how it goes.

Yeah. Okay. So yeah, if you are going to maybe be doing a hybrid, you're going to be breastfeeding, but also using some bottles, you're going to be out for the occasional date night, et cetera. This can be a great place to get the bottles. And then if you are going to be exclusively just formula, then obviously lots of bottles. You're going to need to kind of stock up on a healthy supply of those and then maybe even get some of the you don't need to get all the gimmicky stuff like the bottle warmer.

Don't need the bods, just about to bring up bottle warmer.

You don't need the special dry rack.

But the thing that looks like grass.

Yeah, all it does is get it collect mold on the bottom. In that instance, you just need bottles.

And there's lots of different bottles out there. There really are many different ones. Yeah.

And it might be just one of you might just decide you're going to go all in on one and you're going to hope for the best. And if it doesn't work, you can always resell it and try something else. And just know that part of the journey of parenting is a big dose of humility and being willing to pivot when something's not working. And that's going to happen a lot. We joke often that our family schedules changes every three months because people have now reached different milestones and different needs.

And that's what is so great about buying this kid stuff used is so many times you can find it hardly used. The kid didn't like these bottles. Oh, I thought cloth diapering was a time suck. Whatever it is, like it just didn't work for us. Well, if it works for you, the thing that doesn't work for somebody else is going to work for somebody else. And so you can take advantage of that.

Talking about diapering, I leaked it.

Sorry.

You dumped it. Early eating.

Come on. Now we're on the pooping, the diapering basics.

Yeah. I don't think oftentimes at a consignment sale, you're really not going to find a lot of disposables. People call them spozies or disposables. You might find somebody who just they overbought or something. They overbought or they used a partial pack and they'll give a discount. But oftentimes that's not going to be you're not going to find that there. This is really the hotspot, though, for the cloth diapering parent. This is a great place to get some of those supplies.

And so we would recommend if you are going to be a cloth diapering parent, what do you really need? You probably need between 20 and 30 diapers, depending on what system you use. We're huge fans of the all in ones. We even have gone all in on cloth wipes. I think it's just easier if you're.

Doing the diapers easier. Whatever you're doing for the diapers, do it for the wipes.

Because then you don't have to go find a trash can every time you change a diaper. Yeah, no, it's all together. So we get that. And then you might get probably one or two wet bags for your diaper bag. Diaper bag. This would be where you'd put the diapers if you're out and about, or even you put clothes that got dirty or wet, blah, blah, blah. It'll protect it inside the bag. And then you're going to need probably a large trash can of sorts.

And then a large wet diaper pail.

Yes. Like a kitchen size trash can with a lid lockable lid, yes. And then the liner. It looks like it's just like a big clothes bag, but it's like the waterproofy stuff to line that.

And this isn't that's pretty much all the stuff you need? What are you saying?

But it's a real nice to have what? The diaper sprayer? True.

You know what? I'm so sorry I didn't write that down, but I would. Yes, but technically, definitely worth it. You could dunk and swish. We personally have absolutely never done that and never will. But you know what we bought on ebay? Our spray pal and our sprayer or Amazon Warehouse.

There's always a way to get there's, a way cheaper.

So yes, a way to help clean the diapers.

Okay.

All right. They've slept, they've ate, they've pooped. Now you got to put some on.

Their backs, got to have some clothing. So again, we're talking about the new babies.

And at our first consignment sale, all we came out with was a Christmas dress and a Thanksgiving onesie that was too large. And after having three girls, what I've realized, especially in the new days, is that you essentially just need some onesies, mostly sleepers and maybe a couple of cute outfits per size.

Couple as in two?

Couple as in like two or three?

Just a couple.

And really you're just going to keep the baby in their pajamas all the time.

Think about it. Let's say it's a rainy weekend, you're just going to stay in, you're going to eat, you're going to sleep, you're going to have to use the bathroom. Are you going to get out of.

Your pajamas or just yeah, why are you putting them in? Let's just stay comfortable in a onesie and cute jeans and a zip up sweater. It's so impractical. But it's really cute when you want to take the baby when you want to take the baby out and you're going to an event, you want to have a couple of outfits, obviously something for church. But basically 90% of the time they're just going to be in pajamas and that's totally okay until they're maybe like what, six to nine months. But even then we pretty much just keep our kids in pajamas. Or if it's summer they're walking around in a cloth diaper. Of course weather appropriate clothing. So if you are this is something to time.

We blew it on our first sale.

Sure.

Just knowing like, okay, we're about to have a daughter born in November. Oh, we should get zero to three month clothing that's warm for fall and the winter. Oh, and then our three to six month that'll probably be more the spring sale. We just weren't thinking. And of course kids will always defy these sizes. You never know if they come out seven pounds and they're going to fit into newborn clothes for a little bit or you have a ten pounder and they're automatically into the three to six month clothing. You don't really know. But if you hedge your bets and get newborn clothes and also zero to three months for the season that you know you're going to be heading into, that's probably a good bet.

Onesies, sleepers, a couple outfits, baby shoes.

Why are you going to have a shoe? No shoes just so frustrating to even try to get it on.

It's horrible.

Doesn't do anything. You don't need them.

No, we actually, I forget the name of it, but we booties those booties. Well we had like they were snap.

On booties, real ones and then we just got knockoff.

I forget the name. So just get some snap on booties. That's all you need.

And then it's easier because baby socks.

Oh no, the worst.

No, you think regular socks get lost easy.

Baby socks. No, don't just get the fleece booties that you button on.

Then you only need like one set.

All you need is one pair you don't need anymore. And it usually fits your kid for months. And then you just get the bigger size and then when they're finally walking a year in you can worry about shoes then. Okay.

Clothes covered.

Check. Take us to the next we got.

To keep that baby safe. So you're going to need the car seat, obviously. I don't think they let you you.

Can'T leave the hospital.

Yeah, you can't go anywhere if you don't have it. They came out and checked it and all that stuff.

Now, this is a controversial topic. We're talking about buying things in the Consignment sale.

John, you mean you're going to talk about I'm going to talk about expiration dates.

I'm going to talk about can you buy a used car seat? Can you I'm not even going to say expiration. Usually at consignment sales, they won't take it. They won't take it if it's expired. Okay, nine times out of ten, they won't. If there is a car seat that somebody it's not expired.

Maybe wants to offer one to you.

Not expired. Never was in an accident. Why wouldn't you use it?

Expired?

Yeah.

I have one of the feelings about that.

One of the biggest rackets in the car, infant seat world and a money grab for sure, is the whole car seat safety rules, et cetera, et cetera. Really. If a car seat is not bend in an accident, there's no reason it shouldn't be safe to use.

We're not like 25 years old, and.

Then eventually, if you put a couple of kids through it, it's destroyed.

You're just not going to want to.

Use all the padding is worn out, et cetera. It's gross, it's disgusting. So this is not something that's going to last you through nine children. It's going to be great if you can maybe get two or three kids in the car seat and it's still salvageable. But oftentimes at maybe one of these consignment sales, maybe they were gifted one.

Sure.

And then they got another one and they decided to change stroller systems. So it changed what car seat they got. Or maybe they just used it very lightly. It was a spare in the second car that was barely used or whatever. You just don't know the story. But this is a great place to pick up a good deal on a car seat. We've personally only ever bought ours new, but I have seen good deals on car seats. Oh, we were gifted one by a friend.

The baby things, the thing that you carry them in it and you click them in. Those have been new. We've had some used seats.

Okay. Yeah, I bought another one at costco. Anyway, we don't need to get into it. But personally, I never thought of it until we had cart.

Yeah, just the timing.

I just never even thought of it. But it's definitely a place to go if you find the one that you want to use for your kind of travel system, if you will. You want one that matches your stroller. You want it to have adapt to.

Click in and all that.

Yes, exactly.

Okay, we got the car seat. Another big item is going to be baby monitor. You can spend a lot of money on baby monitors, and it's going to tell you it's going to be a camera that you can move around. You can talk back and forth, you can zoom in and out. You can color night vision. You can know what temperature and humidity it is in the room.

You can have a sensor on your baby so that you can know what.

The hour rate and all those other ones.

Yeah.

Yes. There's lots of monitoring things that you need for the baby.

And I think that these are just really good at giving parents anxiety.

Yes. It is a way to create and then monetize your fear. Your fear of your kid being in trouble. Yeah.

It makes it feel like you have to be watching at all times, which sets you up.

Then helicopter the rest of their lives, or at least their childhood. If I'm not here, if I'm not watching them, if I don't know exactly what they're doing, who knows what could happen?

They're in trouble. Yeah. Which is just going to it's not good for them. And so we are just fans of the absolute basic audio monitor.

Yes. We started off, we had the camera.

We did. And then we abandoned little carry around.

Thing, and then we did not security cameras, but that kind of thing eventually just abandoned. Forget this, man. I just need to know if the kids are crying yes.

Or they're up from their nap. I don't need to see anything. I'll hear it. And you know what? Our house is not some 7000 square foot thing. I'm going to hear them wherever I'm at. But I still have the monitor.

Yeah.

Just in case. But yes. Anyway, so you do need that. And then a consignment sale is a great place to just get some of that baby proofing stuff. You don't need it right away as a newborn, but just the outlet covers, the cabinet locks, the furniture, anchors. I do think these things are important.

Absolutely.

And I see them as just essential because when they start crawling and toddling around, you want to make sure they're safe.

Now you don't only need to keep the kid safe, you need to keep the kid clean. So some of the things that again, these are kind of the basics. The things that you again, you can wash the kid in the sink, but let's get a baby bathtub.

They just make it so much easier for newborns. They're just basically like gumby. They need something to be placed in. If you're just trying to hold them in the sink, it's just getting really slippery. So our strategy, honestly, we used to, on our first baby, the baby bathtub in the bathtub. And then I think every baby since then just gets the baby bathtub, gets perched in the shower. And if you. Or I happen to be showering, they just get washed.

That's just pretty much how it goes.

Now there's some commercial like that.

Oh, really?

First kid and they're all real careful, and then it's like second or whatever kid and then somebody's in the shower and they're just getting handed a kid.

Yes. So much more efficient. Yes. But essentially you need something to put them on and then just like basic hygiene things like a little nail clipper. Because, man, they're nails, they get crazy. Some people talk about biting your kids nails because they're so thin at that age and that's better. But no, I think you could actually do more damage. Baby clippers and then a digital thermometer.

That's really important because if they spike a fever early on, you need to know about it.

Yeah. And then again, that's a whole range and you just need to weigh convenience, cost, your style of thing on type and fanciness of it.

You know what? I'm realizing that we forgot something when we talked about feeding earlier.

Tell me.

I'm so sorry. Like burp cloths. It's helpful for both breastfeeding moms and also formula, like if you're going to feed formula, like the burp rags, but also just they're the cleanup of everything. It doesn't clean up, just spit up. You clean up everything with the herp rags and then a nursing pillow if you are going to go that route. Like a Boppy or a my breast friend. Are you serious? Yes, that's literally the name. I think that one's like specifically made for twins.

So I did forget to mention those earlier. And then we didn't cover the high chair. But the sale would be a great place to get a high chair. You're not going to need it until about six months, but then you're also at that point going to be introducing a little bit of water in a cup. Sorry about the dog. And we've always had good luck with those munchkin cups. There's the angle cup where because there's.

A weight on the bottom.

Yes. If you're going to give the kid a straw, because some kids, they need a straw, they can't understand a cup, but they're going to tip it upside down so you can't drink out of a straw with it tipped. That's where this little anchor thing bendy straw with a but that miracle cup has been a good thing. It's got a silicone wrap around the.

Top saucer kind of looking thing on top, and you can just suck out.

Of it anywhere, but it prevents water from like splashing all over their open. Yeah, okay. Sorry that I missed that around feeding.

No, yeah, that's really good. All right. And then we talked a little bit about it with one of those car seats, baby seats.

What's that thing called stroller that you.

Carry the kid in that clicks and that has the handle?

That's called a car seat.

Car seat, okay. Well, you need to get out of the car and sometimes going to be going a little ways. So you got to put them in something.

Yeah.

So a stroller.

A stroller a wagon nowadays, and oftentimes you'll need to get an adapter, whether you're using Kiko or Brightax or Bob or the Wonder Wagon or whatever that thing is called, you're going to need something with an adapter.

Yeah. They'll usually have the right things lined up for their own stuff, but they know you might want, so they're happy to sell you a very expensive piece of metal and plastic to use with.

Your other personally, you know? When I pull up to, let's say, Costco or the store, the last thing that I want to do is lug a car seat and a stroller into the store so that I can go ahead and now also push my cart. That's a nightmare. I don't want to do that. So this is where baby carriers come in, and you need at least one, and they come in a variety of.

Methods and strategies, materials.

My preferred favorite is the Nuru pocket shirt. And other people like the Moby wrap. The, ergo I'm blanking right now.

So many.

The one that starts with A-T-I forget it. Anyway, there's basically a billion the beco. You just need probably a soft one that's made of cloth and then maybe a more structured one so that when they're bigger. Because once they get like four months, they're starting to fall out of these softer ones, unless it's a really hefty big wrap. But some of the smaller ones, yeah, those won't hold up as the baby gets bigger. I always love the pocket shirt. And I'll just say this for new parents that are listening, our culture will tell you that you could put the baby down and they should be fine. The baby is going to scream, I don't put my babies down.

This is not to be taken literally. Of course, during the day, I will occasionally put my babies down. But why? Everybody's happier if I'm wearing them or you're wearing them, but basically if I'm wearing them, yeah. They'll sleep for four, 5 hours in there, no peep, nothing. You put them down in their crib at two weeks old, they're waking up after 20 minutes and they're crying. And so just know that it's a season, it's a brief one, but I essentially just wear my babies for the first three to four months of their life and that's okay. And it cuts down on the witching hour and the peak fussiness and colic and blah, blah, blah. And it just makes that time pass so much more smoothly.

In a time that's riddled with transition and sleep loss, blah, blah, blah. It just makes it easier if you get into the mindset of I'm just going to be wearing my baby all the time and just accept that it just makes everybody a lot more peaceful because otherwise you're just going to get angry at the baby for not sleeping when you put them down. And as soon as you walk out of the room, they wake up. And that's just not something you want to get into. It can be frustrating, especially if you have other kids, too.

All right, so those are the basics.

That's the basics.

The things to get. Now, there's a couple of nice to have things. Yeah, we'll just go through a couple of those quick.

Actually, something that I don't think I listed on the nice to have, but a diaper changing station place, et cetera.

Yes.

Some people will get these big, nice diaper changing tables. And you know what? You might get one of those. I think we had a mat for our first child that had a pretty.

Low bar to begin with.

We just had a foam mat or something really basic, and then it just downgraded from there and we just changed the baby wherever.

This is particularly one of those things that as you're a parent longer or if more kids come along, you start to realize you don't realize you're not going to just more work.

You're not walking up to the changing table upstairs.

No, you're just going to there's a blanket there.

Great.

On the floor. There we go.

Wherever you are.

Middle of a party, fine.

It's not a big deal. Yeah.

It's one of those things that you see. So again, you might want that there at the beginning, but it's going to be something that just ends up being more work or you're not going to use it a lot. But it's nice to have. But again, not essential. A baby swing or the bouncer or those other things to put the kid in to keep them entertained or happy or whatever those are.

Yeah. And we had one kid that kind of only wanted to sleep in a swing for a little bit of her life. I know it's not necessarily recommended. We were there, right there with her, but the other kids didn't like them.

Yeah.

Again, it was a nice to have. We bought it used and then we sold it as soon as we were done with it. I didn't want to have to store that.

No way.

That's not something you want hanging around your glider.

Rocking chair for the feedings can be really nice. Again, a chair works. Yeah, but special chair is kind of special and nice.

Yeah, that can be great.

You said those cute baby clothes, special occasion outfits, so that's for the holidays or Photos party, those types of things. Little toys. Again, it's a baby.

Baby toys.

They're babies. All these gimmicky fingers are their toys.

Yeah, gimmicky toys that are designed to make a bunch of noise and light up. I don't even think that they're great for babies.

They're not great.

And then as soon as your baby actually wants to play with a toy, they're just going to want to play with kitchen spoons and balls. Not baby Einstein. You can more or less just skip all of that stuff.

Yep.

Another nice to have, maybe if you are going to be doing breastfeeding, would be a nursing cover. It's not essential. Again, just take one of your burp rags or take one of your swaddle blankets. Swaddle blankets and just throw it over your shoulder. Or not. Not a big deal, but you might personally want something like that.

Yeah. Some books. You'll certainly want some books. Good books. Of course, the kids the baby is not reading the book. So you're reading to the baby.

Yeah. But there's science and that's very important to science about the importance of that and just reading out loud.

But again, it doesn't need to be anything special or fancy.

No, just read it's. The activity and then those little baby gym play mats, they can be great. It can be a nice thing.

They can lay on and there's like stuff hanging over it, all those and.

You can get them to be simpler or more montessori. And it's not all the lights and the music. I think that they're great. It's a nice thing to have. If you want to just go ahead and put the baby down in the living room and you know, you need to go get something done in the kitchen or whatnot. It can be a fun place to put them that will entertain them for a few minutes.

Yeah.

As they start to sit there's, those bumbos that help them sit up. It can be a nice to have or a Boppy lounger where you could lay the baby again. But really you could just lay the baby on a blanket. On a blanket that you own. But it can be a nice to have.

Yeah.

Yes. Tableware. So once baby starts eating, if you can find this at a consignment sale, do it. But that stickable tableware, we've never been we are sticky.

No, but just by the shape and the size of it, it just kind of to the table.

We are baby led. Weaning we're a baby led. Weaning family. So that means once they turn six months and can sit up on their own, kind of check the boxes, we just take a hunk of whatever we're eating and we throw it on their plate. And that's how we introduce solids to our kids. We don't have special silverware. We don't have special but because we just throw it onto the Ikea high chair that we the tray right on the tray. But if you don't have something like that and you just want to push your high chair up to the main table, well, you really don't want to give a seven month old a ceramic plate.

Yep.

I think a plastic plate has a high chance of going flying too.

It's not just about breaking, just getting flipped.

They're going to throw it and then it's just going to go everywhere. So that's why those silicone ones that have like a sticky suction cup on the bottom of a suction, that's what I'm talking about. Easy Peasy is one of the brands. I think that was a shark tank too. So that can be really great. Something like that. You don't need a ton, you need a bowl and a plate. And you can just go ahead and wash and reuse some other nice to haves just the little accessory things you put on the stroller.

I'm thinking about, oh, like little thing.

I want to put my drink.

Oh, stuff for you.

Like a drink holder. Yeah, a rain cover for the stroller. The chances where you're going to be out needing it, it's just so slim. But it could be nice when you do get caught in the rain. So it's kind of just do you have the resources available? Can you find a good deal on it? These are little luxuries that can make the difference in a situation where you need them, but you don't really need.

Yeah, a lot of things in the baby stuff world are either designed to stoke up and then take advantage of parental anxiety or just like fancy unneeded things.

For example, the bottle warmer, the bottle warmer, the wipe warmer.

I'll tell you how to warm a wipe. It's a wipe. It's super thin.

You just hold it in your hand.

Hold it in, put it in your hands for seriously like four or 5 seconds. Now it's body temperature. You're good to go.

Yes.

Warm up a wipe. You'll have a happier kid, probably, but yeah, you don't need this thing. Not needed doing that.

In human history, babies bottoms have been wiped without warm wipes.

Bingo.

Really? And that's some of the questions that we parents should ask ourselves is, oh man, this mesh feeder that I could put a strawberry in so my child doesn't choke. Wait a minute, have people used this for the last thousands of years? Wait a minute. No, they haven't.

Before this, they've been okay, we get it. As new parents, man, there were things we bought, things we did, things we worried about that we didn't need to.

And so one of our jobs in doing this episode is just freeing you to not feel like you need to buy all the things just to appease all your anxiety.

Yeah. Not to say that we're these we're not minimizing or you're silly or anything. Yeah. It's just the job that you have or are about to have doesn't need to be any more complicated or worrisome than it is. And there's a good chance you might be thinking it is or whatever. Just take care of the kid.

Bada bing, bada boom. So that's our list of the essential items that you need for baby and if you can get them at a consignment sale. Awesome. And then the nice to haves and if they happen to be at the consignment sale and you can get a good deal, well, these could be cool things to have as well. And then we mentioned a few things that you could probably just skip or you just don't really need, depending on if you're a different personality, maybe you feel that you would. But we've shared our thoughts.

Yes, you can tell we're quite relaxed on Spotify. You can find a little question or poll down there and tell us some of the things you have found most helpful and essential. Pass that wisdom on to the newer or soon to be parents who are listening, and we would love to hear from you. Maybe we'll do a podcast episode answering your question. So you can do that. There's a link in the show notes. Just go to the episode description. You'll see a link there.

You can do it on your computer, on your phone, pretty much anything that has a microphone. You just go to this website, say, yes, you can listen to my microphone while I record this. You hit the button and you send us the message.

Bada bing, bada boom.

And hey, if you know anybody with a new baby or about to have a baby, send them this episode. Yeah, I think they'll love it.

And while you're at it, if you wouldn't mind giving us a rating on our podcast. It helps get the word out and it helps other Catholics find this show. So help us do that. Go ahead and leave a rating. And we have enjoyed this episode of The Catholic Money Show. We will see you next time. Bye for now.