Welcome to the National Council For Hypnotherapy Podcast, where we dive into the fascinating world of hypnosis, lifting the lid on hypnotherapy, sharing insights and tips for change as we chat. So sit back, relax, and enjoy all the wonderful possibilities of Hypnotherapy. My name is Tracey Grist, and I will be your host today. So I'm here today with the lovely Andy Selway Woolley, a solution focused hypnotherapist. Hi, Andy. Hi.

Hey. How are you doing?

I'm good. Thank you. How are you today?

I'm good. It's a nice miserable gray morning, but on the positive, I'm speaking to you. So So nice. All is good.

So you're a solution focused HIPAA therapist. What led you into the is it your second career, your primary career? What led you down this pathway?

So my background is human resources. So I got sort of HR director level, mainly working for sort of smaller businesses. So I was usually, like, the only HR person either in the country or by myself. So my job's always been very people focused. I've always been the person people go to for any concerns. You know, it's pretty much like being an octopus when you're the only HR person in a company. I did that for about 20 years or so, and then I become an HR consultant. So set my own business going into small companies that needed some HR support.

Yeah.

That for a couple of years. And then I opened a recruitment agency. Well, actually, I bought 1 probably in 2016. So I recruited HR people. So I did that for 4 years, again, running my own business. And I think during that time, because I had such a good networking connection, I started running events, and they were being sponsored by big companies. Essentially, I just burned myself out. Like, it was so intense.

Yeah. What sort of events?

Sorry. Say that.

What sort of events did you

Just HR events for HR people. So I was running events for, like, a 150 people doing that, and, obviously, recruitment is commission only. So you don't get paid unless you place. So lots of frustration, lots of, I guess, competition in London. You know, it's very much you have to be very quick,

and

my personality was quite quick as well. So I was riding that way for a good 3 years, but I didn't notice myself burning out. I was doing probably, like, 70, 80 hour weeks, you know, riding on the adrenaline, but I think you can only do that for so much. So COVID came, and I furloughed myself and had 3 months off. And during that time, I actually went to saw a hypnotherapist as well because I was still suffering with the burnout. I actually really enjoyed lockdown. For me, it it it I use this a lot in my practice around sort of going out and doing things, spending more time with family, you know, quietening down your, like, nervous system and everything. Yeah.

So, yes, everything was nice and calm, and it gave me the chance to actually get back into the right part of my brain to make a decision on what I actually really wanted to do in life. So my degree is in biology. I'd always toyed with being a paramedic. So during lockdown, I volunteered in Stoke Mandeville Hospital in A and E as a health care assistant. And I also did patient transport, so I was driving ambulances because I thought I need the experience to get into the paramedic service, essentially. So I did that for a year, and a lot of it is very much patient patient engagement, which I really love. So I was doing, like, an 11 hour shift for free. I was thinking I'm so energized after this.

Like, you know, it was such a lovely thing to do. So I think I found my passion during that time, joined the ambulance service, and did the medical the qualifications, which, you know, I enjoy that anyway. So for me, I think that's quite an easy thing. I love that. And then I did the blue light driving and then realized that, actually, I'm not great in an emergency. So I'm fine with the patients. Just don't put me in the driving seat. So, again, I'm on the same hypotherapist and essentially just came to the decision, what do I actually enjoy doing? And it was the patient interaction.

Because they didn't have any visitors, my job was just to listen to them, to reassure them, you know, I wasn't qualified to give advice. So it was very much a case of just active listening, which without any agenda obviously, with recruitment, it was very much agenda driven sales looking out for something to, you know, to grab on to. So this was very much a a just a 11 hours of just just being kind to people in their sort of hour of well, 11 hours of need when they were in my ward. So I basically started a counseling qualification. I did that. I went back into recruitment, did, like, 4 days a week just on the basis of this is just to earn some money. And then I think in my 2nd year of counseling, I just thought, hypnotherapy, I've had this. This really worked for me, and I decided to do a qualification as an add on to my counseling studies.

So counseling takes 4 years part time. So at this point, I still haven't actually seen a real client in counseling. We're still in the in the practice stage. So I just went and did a hypnotherapy qualification. I did it in a year as an intensive weekend course, and it was really good, actually. It made us we were learning things, but we had to practice on people. So to me, I was really hungry to do that. And because we have all this wraparound support, we were learning all of the facts and the theory, but we were also gradually practicing with people.

So started off with friends, then the friends of friends, and then when we then I was able to be a student and actually charge as a student hypnotherapist. So it it just grew from there, really. So I'm still training to be a counselor, but I've been running a hypnotherapy practice for a year. So it's been like a really quite an intense experience, but my journey there has been very much, you know, what's he doing now? Oh, he's changed his career again. But I am someone that I think you have to find what you don't like sometimes to really understand what you do like and just not be afraid of people thinking this about you and just going, do you know what? I'm just gonna do this because in my heart, I feel like this is the right path. So it's very much, yes, it's very head driven around strategic pathways, but you have to just sort of not really worry about what other people think. And I obviously say that a lot to my clients NCH. So I really empathize with people that are guided by someone else's opinion or you should do that or, you know, what if no.

What is? When that where does that should come from? And I think that word should is quite a powerful reflective word for people. What do I want to do? Where am I in this as opposed to what other people think that I should be doing?

Well, I think that that expectation, isn't it? I I remember I was training to be a counselor, and I I I was a stained glass artist before, and I really wanted to do the counselling and you know train and become a counsellor. And I've got an opportunity to rechange my life. And I started the counselling course and I I was a couple of years in thinking, what is this? Because I I'm quite solution focused in that way. I like an outcome and I like a target for people. And so this sort of open road of discovery and non implementation, I was starting to twitch and think, oh, no. And I remember walking around the comment, my dog at the time, with my friend going, I don't think this is for me. I don't I you know, I'm a roll my sleeves up and let's get on. Really struggling.

And I and I said to my best friend, Chris, at the time, who still is my best friend, said I've seen a hypnotherapy course, you know, I'm gonna put it on my credit card because I had no money because I was training and doing all of that. I'm gonna put it on my credit card and, like, this is the last ditch attempt to to and and and similar, you know, I started the work. I started the training. I started working with people and thinking, this is it. This is it. And I think we expect something to be the final solution, don't we? And then when we actually do it, we think I

always say to plants, you have to be flexible with a goal and pivot. So Yeah. I'm sorry about fear of failure. It's because we've got such a rigid goal. Yeah. So we make those really small steps, which is what our solution focus teaches people. You make small steps towards it Yeah. So that the brain doesn't think this is uncomfortable.

This is so uncomfortable. I'm just not gonna do it. I'm gonna do what I've always done. So I think with with counseling, I I I I agreed to to an extent whereby solution focused, hypnotherapy is very much a let's just move forward, and counseling is very much a let's reflect back in the past of where we are where we are now. So, yeah, I definitely struggled when I did both qualifications. Because when I was doing solution focus, I was very much sort of looking at it from, oh, I wonder what's happened or I wonder what's what theory this is informing on the client, but that wasn't my job to do that. And then when I was doing counseling, training, and and practicing, it was very much a case of, like you said, let's move this on now. So, you know, what small thing could we do if we made the magic wand? What would be different? What would that change? And there's all these lovely questions.

So, like, I I'm doing it from a my my goal would be to be which is what my counseling course is, an integrative course. So doing person centered, which is like the foundation of talking therapy with CBT and psychodynamic. So with hypnotherapy and solution focus, and I'm also doing a mindful and there's some meditation qualification. So that's sort of mindfulness based stress reduction. So I'll it gives me the ability to go to the client and go, what do I think is gonna benefit this person? Because I think what I always thought was someone's had counseling, and they've understood the past and how they've got to where they are. But they they need someone to help them rewire their brain because you know what the problem is, but you need to find the solution. But a lot of people will come to me to understand from the neuroscience point of view what's going on with them and how that helps. They they understand, you know, the beneficial neurotransmitters, how we get them to have more of those.

They get to understand how sleep's important. They they essentially get to understand, like, the stress bucket and what that does to the brain. And then they go to a counselor because they feel more ready to go because they're they're given those tools to understand sort of where they are emotionally within that bucket. So in accounting, we call it that window of tolerance. So some people will come to me and go, okay. I feel quite confident. I feel quite relaxed now to now go and explore the past. So people come and go all the time.

Sometimes if someone is very much talking about the past, so in solution focus, we don't focus on the past. We only focused on the future, the here and now in the future. If someone keeps going back, and I mean, not like the first few sessions because, essentially when someone says I'm going to see a therapist, you just expect to talk about what's happened, don't you? But if someone is always move always going back, then I will sort of sit with them and go, is this the right therapy for you? Is if this is something you want to explore, I will help you find a a more appropriate and maybe come back to me once you've explored that. So, again, I'm not someone that thinks that there's only one type of therapy that suits everybody, which is why I wanna do an integrative approach because different different things sometimes require a slightly different approach. And some people respond differently to different things as well. So not everybody responds to this. Not everyone responds to counting. There's so many different modalities of therapy, and one isn't better or right than the other.

And it so it's very person centered anyway. It's got the same thread. It's just done in a slightly different way. If you look at all the theories, they they've all come from what are the same almost the same route. They've just all branched off into different things.

Yeah. Yeah. And so so are you do you ascribe to the right person, the right therapist, and that union of working together?

What do you mean? Sorry.

In as much as that you have an open consultation, do you offer a bit of

Oh, god. Yeah. Yeah. I do a free bit. Sometimes it's sometimes an hour, but it's supposed to be a 45 minute consultation. That is really to give someone that really safe space to just sort of say, okay. How can I help you? You know, if if our work together was a success, what would what would you have achieved? So I asked some questions around anxiety markers. I do probably, like, 25 minutes about how the brain works.

So that's basically allowing people to understand why they're feeling the way they do. And, also, if someone's sort of coming up with specific anxiety markers, just really linking that back to the neuroscience of it. So people actually feel like, oh, okay. That's what's happening. So it just I think giving people the power of knowledge to understand, okay, this is the reasons why my brain is spinning off in this direction. Makes people feel like, essentially, they're not going crazy. This is our primitive brain. It's designed to keep us safe.

Yours is just a bit more active at the moment. And they're like, I've never thought of it like that. So for me, doing that initial consultation, which I do for free now the reason I do it for free is I want it to be accessible to people. Most people coming to me have some form of anxiety or worry or concern or low confidence, and have had loads of therapy before. A lot of them have done the NHS pathways, which, you know, especially the CBT, which I think is actually a really good modality. But I think, personally, I don't think when it's prescribed to people, they're not given enough support at that time. So everybody's like, CBT is rubbish. Mhmm.

But it doesn't have the wraparound care support. So people will come to me with lots of evidence that this hasn't worked, this hasn't worked. So I wanna make it quite accessible to people to say, actually, you can come and see me. We can talk about it. I can tell you how I work, what the process is, and then you can decide as the client whether I'm the right therapist. This is the right approach for you. You know? And, also, they might have had Hypnotherapy before, so I have to explain or find out what sort they had and how mine's different. So all these questions people have, they're in quite an anxious state.

So for me, it's just giving them the space to say, hey. It's fine. You know? I I offer this for free. There's no obligation whatsoever. So go away and think about it. If you need to have another conversation, let's have another conversation. So, again, when someone has when someone I've got an automation on my website that allows people to book it. So I typically will call them up before and say, I've noticed you booked.

Hello. Make sure they know where the parking is. You know, if you'd have any problems finding me, here's my telephone number. I meet them at my gate, so I've arrived before. So it's taking away all of those obstacles where people feel slightly uncomfortable about coming into someone's therapy space that's anxious about life in general. So for me, that's why I don't charge I mean, don't get me wrong. We do get a lot of people sometimes just canceling last minute, but majority of them will rebook, have a conversation with me. And because I've continued and persisted and they don't feel like I've just gone out, whatever, then they generally will come back.

Or we'll talk it through on the phone first for 15 minutes, and I'll be like, okay. Now you have a general understanding of what this is. Come in. Like, let me make a cup of tea. We'll rebook. You know? I'm not a scary person. Do you know what I mean? It it's very much it's it's it's it's different to what I thought it would be because I'm very, as a recruiter, very efficient in admin because you have to be. So over the last year, it's sort of, I guess, as I've been doing this, understanding what people need and also asking feedback, you know, what would have been better at the start.

You know? Would you have preferred this? So over time, I've just made I've refined it and made it more more, I suppose, person centered and more friendly, the approach, as opposed to look here for initial consultation, and I'll see you when I see you sort of thing.

Well and also, like, we know that people are coming to us who are more likely to be anxious or stressed, and we understand anxiety and the pushing, pulling of yeah. It's a big step, isn't it, going

A 100%. So I also see teenagers now, which means the parents have to come into the consultation. So I obviously have teenagers there, and you sometimes don't know whether the parents wanted them to come or they're there by their own free will. So, again, I always say this to the teenagers. Do you not think that I was nervous when I first then realized I have to do my consultation to 3 people as opposed to 1 person? But I always use that as an analogy say, you know, of course, my brain was a little bit, oh, I've not done this before. All those self doubts keep creeping in, but I've done it once. Nothing bad happened. I've learned from it.

It doesn't need to be perfect. And the more I do it, the more my brain realizes that it's fine. So then I always use that as my comfort zone. Just increases ever so slightly, and that becomes my new normal. So I I do use myself sometimes, not all the time because I think self disclosure is quite an important thing to not make it about me, but to make it around them. But if someone is feeling overly nervous and I think there's something that I can describe to go, hey. You're not on your own here. Everybody has some form of anxiety.

It's normal. You know? It's whether it cripples you not to do anything or whether you move towards something, but it's uncomfortable. You will still un feel uncomfortable doing things. That's life. We all need a bit of competition stress. We all need that little bit of so I always say to clients, because I think a lot of people think that I'm gonna just do that pocket watch thing, They're gonna be worried about anything ever again. But I always say, does won't that make you extremely unsafe and vulnerable in society if you're not worried about anything? You know? Right. So I I just say to people that this will make you feel more in control so that you can distinguish what that anxiety is, and you move towards it.

And then and then you move towards it, and then you've done something that you thought you'd never do. What small thing can you do to move towards it to practice? What would make it easier? So we start convincing our brain that, actually, if this doesn't need to be a fight, flight, freeze response anymore. I always say to people, be realistic with what, you know, a couple of sessions will achieve. So I think there is lots of, you know, buy this download, and then you'll be you, you know, your public speakers would be like the next TED Talk speaker. You know, you'll be you'll be some sort of full influencer. It it it it helps get confidence, but you still have to keep and putting yourself in that situation. You have to keep showing up.

Yeah.

Keep telling your brain that, actually, it's fine.

Yeah. Doing the work?

Yeah. Yeah.

You you mentioned at the start that you look for anxiety markers when you're working with somebody, what what are you looking for? So if somebody was listening and they didn't know they had anxiety and they just thought they were going a little bit batshit crazy. Like, what would anxiety markers look like?

So it's things like IBS, for example. You know, I always say I'm gonna panic poo. So that adrenaline response in your body where you're in fight, flight, freeze. So that rechecking things, you know, the brain goes into hypervigilant mode, nail biting, picking the self soothing. I ask questions around what else do I ask? So there's some questions around, for example, alcohol. So I don't think people will know that when we drink, our REM sleep gets affected so our brain isn't processing the anxiety. So, again, it's just making sure that people understand that. Now that's not a judgment question because someone might not come to me to go, you know, I need to help with you know, to reduce my drinking.

But it's those sorts of questions asked about sleep. So if someone's having difficulty getting to sleep or they're waking up tired in the morning, we know that there's probably something going on in their brain where they're trying to reduce the anxiety through the REM cycle. Or if you're particularly anxious, your brain thinks you're under threat. So, obviously, if you're under threat, what's the one thing would would happen if we sleep? We feel quite vulnerable. So the brain's like, don't go to sleep. So loads of questions, headaches, for example. So I ask so if someone scores, like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And the good thing about the neuroscience of it, we can link it back to the initial consultation.

So I do use it's almost like a story of evolution, you know, primitive man, how that works. We use the polar bear analogy a lot in solution focus. The polar bear is the problem. So, you know, if the polar bear was wandering around outside, we would have to constantly be checking for it, and we would be constantly, you know, hypervigilant focusing on it. So that's the brain in that hyperchecking mode, for example. So that is the threat response that people will be in. So, essentially, our job is to, you know, go, where is the polar bear? It's not there anymore. So you don't have to be worried.

You don't have to be on high alert. We don't have to keep rechecking things. So, again, the problem the problem focused approach for some therapy can sometimes just reinforce that. So with with solution focus, it is very much a case of, you know, I'm pulling someone away from the problem to put it into perspective by looking at all the lovely things that are going on around someone that the brain won't care about. Because when we're in fight flight freeze, we are just looking for danger. So the trouble. The trouble. So all the lovely things in life that happen, and the brain's like, that doesn't matter, does it? Because so we forget.

We forget about all the lovely things. The problem becomes the main thing. So by using a solution focused approach, essentially, we're rewiring the brain to start thinking more positively about things, which essentially then our negative thoughts decrease, which means we're not catastrophising. We're not spiraling away, making ourselves more stressed. So we're not in that vicious cycle. So, you know, it's a it's a good therapy, one, for people that don't wanna talk about the problems, but also just becoming more positive in life. So by doing that, it just I always I always say it's like a garden where they were planting little seeds every session, and we're just nurturing and watching forever so slightly so that we're moving towards it really gently so that we're convincing the brain that everything's okay. Everything we're not in we're not in a threat situation anymore.

I always say that growing that garden means we're getting more of those happy chemicals, which in solutions, we essentially say the stress bucket, which is where all the stress in life comes in. So it's not wild animals anymore. It's debt, relationships, social media, but also our thoughts. You know, our thoughts fill that bucket up all the time. So if we're walking around with this massive bucket of stress, we're in that fight flight freeze primitive part of our brain where we're not being logical. We're not making an assessment of anything rational, we'll always go into that fight flight response. So that primitive brain isn't intelligent. It will always rely on previous behavior.

So and it's negative.

Yeah.

So with 3rd focus, our job is to empty that bucket through our sessions. So we spend more time on that part of the brain that we're using now, the prefrontal cortex. We're actually making an intellectual assessment of life. Things become easier. And I think that's what our therapy does plus the hypnotherapy part, which, yes, we give lovely suggestions. We tend to use Ericssonian hypnotherapy. So the direct the the it's indirect suggestions, so it's a little bit more comfortable in the brain. Metaphor stories so the client's brain will start going, I wonder how I could integrate this into what the solution is.

So that solution part where we talk about what what is the solution to that problem, essentially, the hypnotherapy side just embeds it. So it basically just it supports the work that we do in the talking therapy part.

So if I was a client and I was nervous about, I don't know, public speaking, what what would you be looking for in terms of a story to feel more comfortable and confident as a speaker? Is is there a particular route? Or

To to to help someone with that?

What would be a good metaphor? If I was listening to this, NCH I wanted to do public speaking, but I was really scared.

It would be anything around sort of knowing that you don't have to be perfect. I think a lot of the time, it's perfection paralysis with people. So, again, when we're in our primitive brain, we're not accessing that part. We have to remember things. So people tend to freeze. So for us, it will be that person is going to more likely be scared of public speaking if their stress bucket's full because they'll be in the primitive mind. So all our sessions do really is come up with solutions that are gonna create more of those happy chemicals, sort of like the serotonins, the dopamines. So, essentially, they lit the bucket.

So by doing those small solutions, the stress bucket basically shrink what goes down. So the more interaction you controls, they're less likely to have that fear response. So I think the talking therapy side is probably the most important. That's the solution focused Hypnotherapy side. The hypnotherapy side, again, I don't use, like, really direct suggestions with people. So it will be something about it'll be a metaphor, and I I use this book quite a lot. So NCH I'm not plugging it. This isn't my book.

Within it, there's I mean, me and you, for example, I we can both look at the same story, and me and you will take a completely different meaning away from this. So the metaphors are always sort of more of a guide. So it'll be something about I use one called the water drop, which is frozen to a branch, but then the water drop, for example, has to one day decide that it doesn't wanna be frozen there anymore and just let the warmth from the sun let it melt. So that's confidence, and then it drops to the floor, and then it gets the confidence to move into a river. And it doesn't know where it's gonna go, but it's still having the confidence to go, you know what? It doesn't matter. I've made a decision. I'm moving towards something. And then there's a lovely bit around, you know, will it go downstream? Will it go to the equator? You know, will it evaporate to form a cloud circling the earth? And then will it form a geometric snowflake that will so, again, that is all around trusting yourself for me and just letting go and just being a bit more malleable.

So, again, metaphors, I guess, there's a general theme, but the power comes from somebody in our solution focused approach coming up that solution, then going into trance because they're more malleable to suggestion. So they are more likely to do what they've committed to doing as their solution and the hypnotherapy part. So I do have language patterns that, you know, are around self confidence and things. But if someone is extremely scared of something, by doing a language pattern that just focuses on that, we're essentially colluding with their problem. So when they're in trance, I personally think it's just sort of they're just gonna be thinking about something awful. So this is more generic, just helping their nervous system relax. And the confidence, you can really wrap into anything. So they'll be thinking about probably the confidence and what what that looks like for that particular solution as opposed to, you know, we don't do those language patterns whereby, you know, by losing weight, we're gonna tell you that every time we bat your chocolate, it's gonna taste like bonfire ash.

You know?

Glad you had bonfire ash.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like it's it's it's NCH that sort of approach. It's more it's a more softer approach.

So what would be an example of a language pattern?

So we've got usually, it relaxes that helps the body relax. So when the body's relaxed, the mind can relax. And then there's usually something called a deepener, and it's always something going down something. So you'll hear the classic going down some steps, going down a path. It's very visual. So we we use a lot of, you know, sensory things to get people's imagination working and relaxing them. And then the language pattern is is basically the suggestions. Now some of some of the language patterns and deepness can be combined.

So you're in a story, but you're also being given suggestions. And sometimes it's the deep NCH and then the suggestion part. But it will be things around talking about confidence, you know, past is the path, the future's the future. There's some imagery in there as well around things like, you know, imagine all your worries just floating away from you in a cloud. So people are thinking about they are. And, again, it's it's shows the brain is thinking about all these things disappearing. So there's there's language plans for all sorts of things like self confidence, self assurance, boundary forming. So, again, we don't, in solution focus, always prescribe to.

It has to be allocated to someone because, essentially, what we need in our modality is we've had that conversation around what would be different, what would life be like if the problem was was gone. So I I suppose do you want me to run through, like, what our session structure would

Yeah. I I yeah.

So we get people to write down every night what's been good about their day. So we're changing the way the brain thinks about things. So we're helping the brain start thinking more positively because when we're in our threat response, as I said, the brain doesn't really care about any of that. So we consciously have to make because our brain is negative anyway. It's designed to keep us safe. So every night well, it's been NCH could be anything. So have a nice cup of coffee, have NCH interaction with someone, what we're looking forward to, what we're grateful for, what's gone better. You know? So it's, again, it's just reaffirming that things are okay generally in life.

And don't get me wrong. Some people will really struggle with this because some things won't be going well, but there will always be something. There'll be even if it's one thing. So as soon as someone comes into our session, I'm like, right. What's been good? Because I don't want them to come and tell me everything that's going wrong because the brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. So if they tell me everything that's gone wrong, the brain thinks it's happening again. So it will flood them with loads of adrenaline. They get into a threat response.

So they won't be in that part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, where they come up with any solution. So, again, I I I will ask them, how did you do that? We'll look for exceptions. So, again, it's confidence building. It's really talking about the positives. And then we use a scale, say, between 0 and 10. 0, worse you've ever felt, 10, most happy, content. Or as they develop in sessions, 10 would be the problems you've came for have gone. So where are you sitting on that scale today? So someone said 5.

Great. Halfway there. Positive. If you went to bed tonight and someone waved a magic wand over you and a miracle happened overnight, but you didn't know that miracle happened, you woke up tomorrow at 6. What would you know how would you know you were 6, not 5? What would be different? They'll so people will come up with an emotion. I'll be more confident. And what would that change? What would be different? Who would notice? So we're starting to think about our life without that problem being there, so we're moving towards a solution. And we always come to an actionable thing.

So towards as we start getting to an action, it'll be what small thing could you do to get towards that lovely goal of x? And then we make it really specific so that the brain has a bit of detail. Because if we say, oh, in a couple of weeks, I might do this. It to me, I always say it's like a wisp of smoke and the breeze will just disappear. If we say at 10 o'clock on Thursday, where am I gonna be? How long is it gonna take? What am I gonna do? So because they've come up with the solution themselves, I've not told them what to do, they are more likely to do it. Now when they go into trance, when that critical part of the brain is switched off and they're more malleable to suggestion, they are extremely likely to do what they've committed to doing. So that essentially moves them forward towards the solution. So, again, feel really good about doing it. Usually comes up in the what's been good the next week.

Sometimes it doesn't. And I always say to people, you might not do it at 10 o'clock because in the talking therapy, you might have your brain might have thought in trance, actually, I might do something else. But I don't say to people, I I don't sit and check because they might do it next week, the week after. When them thinking that they have to do something and not doing it, it just fills up their stress bucket. They think they've let me down, someone else let themselves down. So if it appears on what's been good, I might remember it and go, oh, that's brilliant. But the same thing with the scale, we don't we don't expect there to be a linear progression because you might need to recalibrate the skill. You might have come in thinking you're a 5, but, actually, after a few sessions, you might have been 3, or you might have been higher, or something really bad happened that week, so you've gone down.

So it's just a jumping off point. So every session is all around moving forward. So even if we've gone forward 4 steps and we've gone back 2, we celebrate the 2. Even if we've gone forward 4 and gone back 4, we've celebrated. It's fine. We move every time we arrive, we move forward. We don't we don't focus on what's happened. It's and I think a lot of people when they think they failed will self sabotage, and the primitive brain will take them down that path they've always gone down before because that brain thinks it's keeping you safe by doing whatever you're doing that's essentially affecting your mood or whatever you're doing in life.

So by having someone like me each week, go, that's fine. Forward. Forward. They're going forward than they've ever been before. It works really well for weight loss, actually, this modality, because you will see this, and there'll be loads of patterns of failure. So the brain's got all this pattern of this isn't gonna work. And as soon as it doesn't, you're like, oh, what's the point? Back to what I've always done. With this, you can't because I'm essentially like your coach moving you forward.

And over time, because I've not allowed that person to essentially go backwards, and even if they have, we've celebrated forwards again. The brain starts rewiring itself. So it's like, actually, these small things are fine. I I can do really small steps by myself. And it's like watching someone I always say it's like there's there's a car in a ditch, and a lot of people on the wheels are turning, but nothing's going. And they're sinking a little bit deeper every time they're trying. My job is just to literally give them a little tiny put because they know the direction they wanna go in. But my job is just to help lift that those wheels a little bit and support it out of the ditch so that they can go on their merry way.

And, And, essentially, my job is to make myself redundant as quickly as possible.

Yeah. They're they're in lies the route.

Which you know? And it's lovely when people come back to you, like, a few months or even a year later and said, this is what's changed my life. And it's such a lovely feeling to watch someone come in in in one way and then see me for 6, maybe 12 sessions. And then they go, you know what? I'm I think I'm okay now. And then sometimes we space them out just to say, let's do every 2 weeks, every 3 weeks because I need you to know have the confidence. This isn't because you're seeing me once a week. And then 9 times out of 10, you'll get someone on every 3 weeks, and they'll say, do you know what? I think I'm okay NCH. And I'm like, brilliant. If you ever want a top if you ever need a top up or something happens where you feel like you just need a bit of a relaxing session or a bit of downtime or you of need me to help you realign this, I'm here.

But, you know, good luck. And, yes, you know, it's been lovely, mate. And as a therapist, yeah, there is sometimes times where you you you have clients that you warm to, and you're like, I see you every week. And it's nice to watch people progress, but, obviously, like, my job is to you come in, then you go. But, you know, it's lovely when someone comments or does a little testimonial, or those people refer you as well. It's a really nice thing as a therapist, isn't it, to know actually I'm I'm helping change people's lives.

Yeah. And I think it's so powerful. It's such a gift that we we have. And I it's beautiful, isn't it? So so what what do you want for your future? What would you like to I mean step by step, bit

by So, I mean, if you had asked me this probably 2 years ago, I would have made all these plans and, you know, I'm quite a fast person. So even in the last year and, also, I have supervision as well as a therapist. So I've got 2 supervisors, which I chose to have because I quite like learning from different people. I'm definitely one of those people that, you know, I I will constantly learn. I'll constantly reflect. I will constantly sort of look at feedback and go, oh, okay. That's a slightly better way of doing it. So if you would I said, if you'd asked me 2 years ago, I would have made all these plans, and it would have been really fast.

So I think that's what Primitive Brain wanted me to do. You know, the speed was safety. So doing just doing this the course and counseling and the reflection, I think just allows me to live in the now. So I don't have sort of, like, rigid plans in place because I actually just like seeing how things are going and, you know, jotting down ideas. And it will always be when I'm not doing anything. I'll think, oh, this will be a good idea. So for me, being an integrative therapist, I definitely want to have my own practice in those areas. I'm doing mindfulness meditation training because I quite like group work.

So I've started doing presentations to groups on things like imposter syndrome, procrastination, and the science behind quitting sort of for weight loss. And I actually really enjoy that group stuff, and I used to do that for my job. You know? So why wouldn't I enjoy training? So and, again, solution for the tinnitus therapy and counseling, it lends itself more to individuals. You can do group solution for Hypnotherapy things, and some people in our association do it extremely well. But I wanna sort of do more group things in corporates, which is where my background is. So, you know, taking that mindfulness meditation, going into work wellness programs, and just having a bit of portfolio career again and sort of having my individual clients, maybe doing some associate work, you know, doing some corporate things, maybe things like some wellness events or health spas and things. And just to see what I like doing. So I think it's so early now to go, I want a NCH and I mean, I do a lot of work with the LGBTQIA plus community and also men's mental health.

Yeah. I

typically probably see more men than females, which I think is quite rare, definitely talking to my hypnotherapy friends. So there's some of the areas that I've got. And and, obviously, weight loss because I used to be a personal trainer, so I've got a real thing. I I love weight management and weight loss. So, again, it's sort of like, do you niche out into a into a sort of what condition I can help or, you know, what who who are my clients? Or so there's so much you can do with this. So, again, I just sort of sit in the now now and go, do you know what? When the time comes, I've done all the training. I've thought about everything. I'm seeing such a I'm seeing such an eclectic mix of people with different varying presenting issues and and wants and goals.

But I'm quite happy at the moment just to go I'm just gonna see what I enjoy.

Where the water takes you. Yeah.

And I think that's, like, the frozen water drop thing. I I think I probably use that quite a lot because I really resonate with that to go, just see what happens. You know, I take opportunities when I can. I I work in a school as an enterprise adviser because I'm seeing teenagers. I've I've been doing that for a little while, so that's been really interesting for me. You know, I as I said, I work with men's mental health. You know, I'm part of LGBTQ associations and things. So it for me at the moment, it's just, you know, always learning, always taking an opportunity, but not running a 100 miles an hour into a direction that I don't know where that's going to go.

So I think as a therapist, we spend a lot of time with people, so I have to make sure that I'm okay. And, you know, I think the the most the key thing that I've learned over the last year as a therapist is when I first started, it's just practicing what you preach. Because I think even as an HR person, you know, I never had an appraisal really because I was making sure everyone else was okay. So I think as a as a if someone's listening to this as a therapist that's coming out of training, like, it's saying, you know, that oxygen mask first for anyone else is so important to do what you're telling your clients. And and I learned from my clients as well, so I'm not I don't want to be seen as this guru of information. You You know, if I've learned from a client, I'll tell them. I'll say, what a brilliant suggestion. That's great.

I might use that. So I think it's just being that person that's walking alongside someone and being vulnerable when you need to be vulnerable, being congruent. And I think counseling teaches all of that as well about, you know, the unconditional positive regard, empathy, and genuineness. And I've I've definitely used a lot of my counseling skills in hypnotherapy, especially so when in the initial consultation, people do get upset, and that's fine because, essentially, we're seen as a solution. So, you know, I've got my box of tissues just in case. You know?

It's like having a poo out of your eyes, Russell. Yeah.

I mean rid of Isn't it? Like, I always say to people, like, if you give the miracle question, it's the question that no one's ever asked you. You probably never asked yourself. So if you need me to go away and make you a cup of decaf tea because don't give caffeine because people don't relax, I'll just make you a cup of tea. Right? Silence is fine in this room. You know? The brain needs time to think about things. You know? There is no such thing as a stupid question. There is no such thing as, like, I can't be silent. This is someone's space, and I want them to feel extremely comfortable.

And everyone's different. Everybody requires something different from this experience. So it's it's making sure you're, you know, you're still with it. You're still doing the modality that you're trained to do, but being malleable enough to go, we can't treat everybody exactly the same.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, that's lovely. And finally, what does your t shirt say? Because we can see the top part. It's your anxiety. I love it.

Yeah. So I think it's more about your anxiety should be afraid of me because I'm gonna sort of, like, put it back in its box sort of thing. So I wear this all the time, and I think, you know, it helps put clients at ease. So I'd again, I'm pretty much wearing this T shirt most of the time. You know? I I just think it just helps diffuse. And I'm not making a joke of it, but that's not what I'm doing at all. But this works quite well for teenagers as well. So I typically will wear this for teenagers.

I've got another one that says fed up with feeling meh. My classic one is what's been good because I have to

dance to

the basis of our picture, so with a little smiley thing. So, yeah, I'm I love I love doing stuff like this. So I think it just helps people. It makes it more accessible to people where it's like, this is a positive Hypnotherapy. So you have to be a bit you have to sort of practice what you preach with this. So I always say to people, whenever you meet someone in public, don't say how are you. Say what's been good because it helps them think about what's good, and you have a lovely, nice, positive conversation with them, which makes you feel good as well as opposed to British small talk, which would be, I am okay. Not bad.

Thank you. This has happened. So, again, you're just filling up each other's stress buckets where you don't need to be. So, again, it's just reframing the conversation.

Brilliant. On that note, I shall thank you, and thank you ever so much for our chat. That's been really lots to take away there, and we'll put your your contacts in the links as well so people can reach out to you.

Yeah. Honestly, I do a I work online. I'm based in Vista, and I do a the free consultation, which can be done online. So, again, that's the thing I said to you. Like, no pressure. Just if if anybody's struggling with anything, look at my website. There's lists of what I could potentially help you with. And And you could also download a free relaxation audio on my website as well, which is it's almost like self hypnosis.

So it's a guided bedtime relaxation story.

Lovely. Well, thank you ever so much, Andy.

You're welcome. Thank you.

Thank you.